All language subtitles for The Bachelor-1999

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:29,988 oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above 2 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,907 Don't fence me in 3 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,911 Let me ride through the wide open country that I love 4 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,121 Don't fence me in 5 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:41,458 Let me be by myself in the evening breeze 6 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,336 Listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees 7 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,631 Send me off forever But I ask you, please 8 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,760 Don't fence me in 9 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,929 Don't fence me in 10 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,016 Just turn me loose Let me straddle my own saddle 11 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,394 Underneath the Western skies 12 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:04,022 on my cayuse let me wander over yonder 13 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,567 Till I see the mountains rise 14 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,988 I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences 15 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,032 Gaze at the moon until I lose my senses 16 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:19,204 In his heart, every man is a wild, untamed mustang. 17 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:22,666 Now, that may sound pretty stupid. It may even be pretty stupid. 18 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,126 But it's true... 19 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,544 more or less. 20 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,589 I mean, in Africa men are probably leopards or rhinos. 21 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,216 In India, I'm sure they're Bengal tigers. 22 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,218 Here we go. one, two... What's next? 23 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,388 And even here in America not all men go for mustangs. 24 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,806 Jimmie, we gotta talk. 25 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,808 My friend Marco... he's a wolf. 26 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,937 He says the symbol of manhood shouldn't be a vegetarian. 27 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,231 Listen to what Rita said to me last night. 28 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,734 "In the future, let's avoid Thai food". 29 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,569 What, too much lemongrass? 30 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,112 No, she said "future". 31 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,948 Everybody I know says "future". Sanzel, you say "future"? 32 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,241 Future. 33 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:58,911 - Hodgman? Bolt? Stone? "Future"? - Future. 34 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,455 - There you go. - They're not women! 35 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,999 So, mustangs. Mustanghood. 36 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,001 It's a feeling of complete freedom. 37 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:09,796 You're young, you're strong, you have no one to answer to. 38 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,924 Nothing to do but run the open plain. 39 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:15,344 And your whole life is centered on one primal force... 40 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,346 the endless quest for... 41 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,648 Let's stick with the analogy. 42 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:32,027 Call it "sweet grasses". 43 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:35,781 A mustang is driven to get as much grass as possible... 44 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,449 and a variety. 45 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:40,369 Tall grasses, shorter grasses... 46 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:43,413 dark grass, blond grass. 47 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:48,377 You spend your days in a constant search for that next succulent patch. 48 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,588 It's a beautiful life. 49 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,131 Don't fence me in 50 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:57,302 That's how women start... dropping words like "future" into casual conversation. 51 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,471 Next thing, you're drunk at a PTA meeting. 52 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:05,018 Wait till you're in love and your balls are in a vise. Then you'll see. 53 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,316 Future. 54 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,824 What do you mean, we're not compatible? You don't like me anymore? 55 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,325 of course I do. 56 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,661 I more than like you. 57 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,205 - But... - Wow. That's great. 58 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,249 So we'll just keep dating. 59 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,670 - Waitress. - In a second. 60 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,673 - So I broke up with him. - What? 61 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:38,385 Jimmie, can you think of one good reason not to see me? 62 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,637 - "I'm sorry, but it's over. - Well... 63 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:45,684 - I have work commitments up the wazoo... - I have work commitments up the wazoo. 64 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:49,062 and, well, I'm raising my standards". 65 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,564 Then just stop working. 66 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,942 Wasting your time. That makes no sense. 67 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:56,278 - Have you seen what's out there? - This is great lettuce. 68 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:59,573 Anne, by the year 2010 women will outnumber men four to one. 69 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,783 I don't wanna waste your time. 70 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,870 - It's not your fault that... - Completely self-centered. 71 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,914 you're self-centered. 72 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:10,876 Well, I'm so sorry I took you away from your stupid pool tables. 73 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,963 Just don't meet and break up with a guy before I get home, okay? 74 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,965 - See ya. - Bye. 75 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,075 I enjoyed... 76 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,329 I'm sorry. Did you say something to me? 77 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:52,793 I said, I enjoyed having lunch with you. 78 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,963 We should do it again sometime. 79 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,675 The minute I met Anne, we sparked... 80 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,594 in a way that was completely new to me. 81 00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:06,098 She was as relaxed and independent as I was. 82 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,393 I mean, we had the perfect laid-back relationship. 83 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,273 And before we knew it, we'd been together for a year. 84 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:18,610 Actually, we both forgot, so we celebrated a week later. 85 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,280 That's how easy everything was. 86 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:30,289 My friends, well, they were less fortunate. 87 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,542 okay, hold on a second. 88 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:36,211 Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for... 89 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,505 the bouquet toss. 90 00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:41,466 - If I could get all the single ladies... - Let's get out of here. 91 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,468 No, I wanna see this. 92 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,345 All the single women? 93 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:48,140 Marco? Could be your lucky day, buddy. 94 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:52,060 In high school maybe you read The Lottery. 95 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:55,814 That's the story about this small town that draws lots every year... 96 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:59,735 and whoever gets chosen becomes a human sacrifice. 97 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,320 That's the bouquet toss. 98 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,532 oh, fuck. 99 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,534 The lottery for weddings. 100 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,623 Sanzel never had a chance. 101 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,338 It became a terrifying cycle. 102 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,006 Each wedding meant a bouquet. 103 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:25,219 Each bouquet was like an airborne spore bearing the seeds of the next wedding. 104 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,473 one future led to another. 105 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,601 our numbers dwindled. 106 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:36,772 And dwindled. 107 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:01,713 But Anne, she was as beautiful and as carefree as ever. 108 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,549 - It's terrifying! - No, this is fun! 109 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,552 - I love this! - I love it when you act brave. 110 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,970 Come here, you. 111 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,597 So cute. Turns me on. 112 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,683 - Really? - Yeah. 113 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,769 Just something to keep in mind for the future. 114 00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,773 That's right. The "F" word. 115 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,280 So here we are. 116 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,283 What good did all that talk of mustangs do me? 117 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:30,909 Me and my wife! 118 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,454 You think I don't know where that thing's heading? 119 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:37,499 May I have all the ladies in the house on this side of the room. 120 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,960 We're about to toss the bouquet. 121 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,800 Today's human sacrifice is yours truly. 122 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,345 Future. 123 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,810 I've outlasted the rest of them, and I'm kinda proud of that. 124 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,983 Easy, boy. Nothing to fear. 125 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:19,666 My mustang days were about to become a distant memory. 126 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,476 So long, sweet grasses. 127 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,616 About damn time. 128 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:57,204 You kept me waiting a long time for this, Jimmie. You know that? 129 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,957 As my last surviving descendant... 130 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,875 you have a sacred duty... 131 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:05,379 to pass on my genetic material. 132 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,714 That's a lovely sentiment. 133 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,926 For a time I thought you was gonna fail me... 134 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,928 the way your father did. 135 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681 I wouldn't say Dad failed you. 136 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,268 My only child, and what does he leave me with? one miserable grandson. 137 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,020 'Cause he died in a building collapse. 138 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,691 He always had excuses for everything he did, didn't he? 139 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,193 Procreate! 140 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:35,284 Jimmie, have a look at this. 141 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,494 oh, yeah. 142 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,912 There we go. 143 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:43,125 That is your grandma's engagement ring. 144 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:47,087 I only hope that your woman friend has fat fingers. 145 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,049 Has she been examined... 146 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,135 by a qualified doctor? 147 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,928 Is she fertile? 148 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,764 We're both very healthy, and I love her. 149 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,141 Love don't exist. 150 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,602 Here, take that. 151 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,231 There's only the endocrine response. 152 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,610 And that... 153 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,737 only lasts five years, maximum... 154 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,740 according to the great scientists. 155 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,910 That's the reason you should breed right now. 156 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,119 Steak? 157 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,996 What scientists? 158 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,998 Take that. Read it. 159 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:28,295 As time goes on passing and withers... 160 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,840 sex becomes rarer and rarer... 161 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,052 and rarer. 162 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:41,934 Finally, all you're left with is this cold, chaste... 163 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,478 loveless shell called marriage... 164 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,981 and the incessant irritation of fatherhood. 165 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,984 The bills keep mounting. 166 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,821 And if you don't believe me... 167 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,616 ask the next-door neighbor. 168 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:00,786 I tell you, Jimmie... 169 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:04,832 to sacrifice your happiness for your descendants... 170 00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:07,334 there's a term for that. 171 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:13,215 The human condition! 172 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,677 Stripes wins, I propose. 173 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,845 And solids? 174 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:21,139 I don't know. Fake choking on a piece of steak. 175 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,685 For three weeks now you been carrying that ring around... 176 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:28,355 staring at it, taking Anne out to dinner, not proposing to her. 177 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,357 It's gotta end. 178 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,483 It's ten of. 179 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:35,237 Yeah, and the Starlight Room's five minutes away. 180 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:38,240 The Starlight Room? That's where you're taking Anne? 181 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,200 So? 182 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:44,705 Every human being on Earth knows there's only one reason a single man under 50... 183 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,707 takes a woman to the Starlight Room. 184 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,960 To pop the question. 185 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,756 Jimmie Shannon. Just the man I'm looking for. 186 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,968 What do you say, Marco? 187 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,929 A word in your ear. 188 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,890 Talked to your grandfather this morning. 189 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:07,519 oden Sports sent my office a formal offer to buy the company. 190 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,105 I know. We're cutting into their market share. 191 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:14,109 They wanna buy us out, steal our client list and then close us down. 192 00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,528 Shannon Billiards is not for sale. 193 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,865 How about we continue this conversation over some eight ball? 194 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:23,076 Market's up and I got dollars to shed. 195 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,871 Sorry, Sid, but we're going through kind of a crisis. 196 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,790 Jimmie's supposed to propose, and he's lost his nerve. 197 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,043 Anne's a catch. Who needs nerve? 198 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,546 Let me guess. 199 00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,882 The grizzly bear thing. 200 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,968 You know, the manly sense that you're master of all you survey... 201 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:41,470 like a grizzly bear. 202 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:42,930 Mustang. 203 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,056 Wolf. 204 00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:48,435 The question is, do you want to be married? 205 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,979 - I love Anne. - Never mind love. 206 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:56,652 Imagine two different cities... Husbandtown and Bachelorville. 207 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,112 Which would you want to live in? 208 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,906 Any guy's gonna choose Bachelorville. 209 00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:04,910 Right? 210 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,957 Most men come to want the ball and chain. 211 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,793 Me, I was like you. I love freedom. 212 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,420 Which is why my marriage is a miserable failure. 213 00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:17,172 Roy, dry up. 214 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:18,423 Listen... 215 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:23,053 marriage is the most exquisite expression... 216 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,805 of the human spirit. 217 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,599 A good proposal comes not only from love... 218 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:31,937 but from the desire to be a husband. 219 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,939 Without that desire... 220 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,985 better wait till you're ready. 221 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,446 I wish I could, Sid... 222 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:43,949 but... 223 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,784 the thing is... 224 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,078 Anne and l have officially reached... 225 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,497 that place. 226 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:51,623 You mean... 227 00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:53,667 Shit or get off the pot. 228 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,378 You sure? What are the factors? 229 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:59,131 Anne caught a bridal bouquet last month. 230 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,466 Serious, but hardly critical. 231 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,969 Tonight's the third anniversary of our first date. 232 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,180 I got dinner reservations at 8:00. 233 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:07,848 Even so... 234 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:10,184 At the Starlight Room. 235 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,811 oh. 236 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,606 I don't even know how to propose. 237 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,357 Do I kneel? What do I say? 238 00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:22,362 Wait for the Dom P�rignon to arrive and the thing will take care of itself. 239 00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,697 What Dom P�rignon? 240 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:28,076 After the meal, when the waiter brings the champagne, just mumble something. 241 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,288 It'll all be over with just like that. 242 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,291 Just the rest of your life to worry about! 243 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,834 Good knowing you! 244 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,056 Thanks, brother. 245 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:49,283 Your Dom P�rignon, sir. 246 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:52,953 The first time 247 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,416 Ever I saw 248 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,336 Your face 249 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,802 I thought the earth 250 00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:12,973 Moved in my hand 251 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,228 Well, I have... 252 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:22,482 kind of a special toast. 253 00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:25,611 It's been three years since our first date. 254 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,280 Time has really gone by fast. 255 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,489 Yep. 256 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:36,705 over the past few weeks I've been doing some thinking. 257 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,540 Mainly thinking about... 258 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,834 the human condition. 259 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:44,296 A lot of life comes down to making sacrifices... 260 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,174 and deciding which direction is my life gonna go. 261 00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:50,636 Your mouth 262 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,055 Could you please leave? Thank you very much. 263 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,144 - You okay? - Yeah. 264 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:07,277 A lot of life comes down to deciding, what am I willing to sacrifice? 265 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,446 Because, obviously... 266 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:14,326 if you choose one path in life, you can't choose the other. 267 00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:17,329 That's kind of where I found myself lately... 268 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:19,456 ever since we... 269 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,876 you and l, in our relationship... 270 00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:25,087 have reached... 271 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,839 that place. 272 00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:30,425 "That place". 273 00:17:33,262 --> 00:17:34,888 The upshot is... 274 00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:39,685 you win. 275 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,530 "You win"? 276 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,574 Was that a proposal? 277 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,537 Well, "you win" was just the last part of it. 278 00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:01,165 The whole thing was a proposal. 279 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,418 The "you win" had context. 280 00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:06,420 Aren't you even gonna look at it? 281 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:13,677 First, can we retrace the mental steps that led to "you win"? 282 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:17,890 Like when you say that you and l have reached "that place". What place? 283 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,268 You know what I mean. 284 00:18:22,895 --> 00:18:24,771 Shit or get off the pot? 285 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:35,449 Did you really just say "shit or get off the pot"... 286 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,784 right here in the Starlight Room? 287 00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:39,328 What is the big deal? 288 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:43,081 Why couldn't you have just said "Fish or cut bait"? 289 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,835 We always say "shit or get off the pot". Everybody does. 290 00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,337 Not in the Starlight Room. 291 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,339 What is it with the Starlight Room? 292 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,257 Magic, Jimmie! Romance? 293 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:55,260 You know, the whole reason you come up here to propose? 294 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,472 See the city lights, have a wonderful meal, listen to beautiful music. 295 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,432 It casts this romantic spell. 296 00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:03,519 But when you say "shit or get off the pot"... 297 00:19:03,602 --> 00:19:06,647 all that magic just suddenly disappears... 298 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,650 and all you have left is bowel trouble. 299 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,319 Well, I'm sorry. 300 00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:16,949 I didn't think you'd get so upset over a figure of speech. 301 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:21,119 It's not the words, Jimmie. It's the whole approach. 302 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:24,498 God, it's as if you deliberately... 303 00:19:29,378 --> 00:19:30,546 What? 304 00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,345 You don't want to marry me, do you? 305 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,181 I just proposed to you. 306 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:44,518 But the way you proposed, you weren't asking me to marry you. 307 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,521 You were asking me to say "no". 308 00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,400 Just put it on, all right? Please? 309 00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:54,027 You don't want to be married, Jimmie. 310 00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:57,197 And I don't want to be married to a guy who doesn't want to be married. 311 00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,534 Anne, come here. 312 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,081 You know that I love you. 313 00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:07,249 It's just... 314 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,671 Can't we just leave things the way they are? 315 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:20,012 Just for a while. 316 00:20:20,137 --> 00:20:22,723 Hey, sis. How was the Starlight Room? 317 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,102 What, he didn't ask? 318 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:30,439 oh, yeah, he asked. Barely. 319 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:36,945 Anne, I'm confused. Shouldn't we be phoning home and popping the champagne? 320 00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,281 He botched it! 321 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,868 The worst proposal. Really! 322 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:45,913 Maybe the worst proposal of all time. 323 00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:48,582 But you love the guy. How bad could it be? 324 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,084 How's this for romantic? 325 00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,629 "You win". 326 00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:55,797 - You win what? - Nothing. 327 00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:57,341 Just "you win". 328 00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,427 Like the last three years have been a poker game... 329 00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:04,014 and I was holding whatever it is that you hold... 330 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,432 when you win. 331 00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:08,060 "You win". God, that's brutal. 332 00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,772 Could you stop saying it, please? 333 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:18,820 Stop it! 334 00:21:20,906 --> 00:21:24,201 - Was he hammered? - You'd think so. No. 335 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:26,829 Everything was perfect. Really perfect. 336 00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:30,624 You know, the music and the view. 337 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:33,418 Everything but his proposal. 338 00:21:33,502 --> 00:21:37,089 Maybe he wrote down a beautiful speech on a small piece of paper... 339 00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:38,465 and lost it. 340 00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:40,551 Natalie. 341 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:45,681 This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and not just for me... for him too. 342 00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:47,641 You know, all I wanted... 343 00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:52,312 was for him to want to do it right, and he didn't. 344 00:21:52,396 --> 00:21:54,940 And that says everything. 345 00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,318 You get it. 346 00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:10,080 Do you know that in the year 2020... 347 00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:13,000 women are gonna outnumber men four to one? 348 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:16,461 And you will only have three childbearing years left. 349 00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:19,214 Anne, talk to him. 350 00:22:20,549 --> 00:22:21,884 Answer the phone. 351 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,059 Here, another dozen roses. 352 00:23:12,142 --> 00:23:15,229 Gee, Jimmie, like old times again, huh? 353 00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:17,022 Not quite. 354 00:23:17,064 --> 00:23:20,609 Look at you, savoring all of those wild flings you had as a wolf. 355 00:23:20,692 --> 00:23:23,195 - I'm not savoring. - At least he's romantic. 356 00:23:23,278 --> 00:23:25,280 When's the last time you bought Rita flowers? 357 00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:27,407 She's allergic. 358 00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:31,286 Listen, instead of sending a dozen a day... 359 00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:34,373 just send her a couple hundred thousand at once. 360 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,416 For all the good it'll do you. 361 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:40,712 Max, I have him to give me this shit. From you, I'd just like the flowers. 362 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,047 okay. 363 00:23:42,089 --> 00:23:44,049 I'm just telling you, man to man... 364 00:23:44,091 --> 00:23:46,718 what you said in the Starlight Room was really bad. 365 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,264 - If you wanna make up with someone... - Just one second. 366 00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:52,057 Who told you? 367 00:23:52,099 --> 00:23:53,725 What does it matter? 368 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:57,729 'Cause it's personal, and it's not a story I want a lot of people knowing. 369 00:23:57,771 --> 00:23:59,898 Who told you about the Starlight Room? 370 00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:02,609 What, the "shit or get off the pot" proposal? 371 00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:05,153 - I heard about it from my dentist. - Excuse me? 372 00:24:05,237 --> 00:24:07,239 My wife told me that story last night. 373 00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:11,118 - Son of a bitch insulted Barry White. - That was a woman singing, you idiot. 374 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,913 My analyst couldn't stop mentioning it. It's a bunch of crap, if you ask me. 375 00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:16,498 Who was there, you or me? 376 00:24:16,582 --> 00:24:18,500 My best friend's stepsister's cousin... 377 00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:19,918 was the maitre 'd. 378 00:24:21,170 --> 00:24:22,462 You should know, Jimmie. 379 00:24:22,546 --> 00:24:26,258 Your proposal, it's become an instant urban legend. 380 00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:32,598 I'd hate to think what happens if this gets back to my grandfather. 381 00:24:35,017 --> 00:24:36,143 Amen. 382 00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:40,480 They said he had no pulse, no brain waves, nothing. 383 00:24:40,564 --> 00:24:42,649 Then he opened his eyes... 384 00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:46,486 sat straight up and called the doctor a scum-sucker. 385 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:50,908 After death? Is that possible? 386 00:24:50,991 --> 00:24:52,910 They said it was a reflex. 387 00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:04,713 How you holding up? 388 00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:07,549 That's funny. 389 00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:11,887 He was a difficult guy. I don't know anyone that actually liked him. 390 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:14,765 But he was the only family I had left. 391 00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:17,267 Jimmie, can I see you a second? 392 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,108 Well... 393 00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:27,110 he's with God now. 394 00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:32,783 Any chance you could come to the office tomorrow morning? 395 00:25:32,866 --> 00:25:35,285 - Yeah. Is anything wrong? - No, not at all. 396 00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:39,039 As you know, I'm executor of your grandfather's will. 397 00:25:39,081 --> 00:25:42,835 He videotaped it a few years back. Very hush-hush. 398 00:25:42,918 --> 00:25:45,170 Guess we oughta take a look. 399 00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:46,922 I'll be there. 400 00:25:52,636 --> 00:25:54,054 Human condi... 401 00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,186 Can I have a minute, please? 402 00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:02,688 Alone? 403 00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:07,860 Thank you. 404 00:26:16,243 --> 00:26:18,537 I'm sorry about your granddad. 405 00:26:20,998 --> 00:26:22,958 These are beautiful. 406 00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:43,437 okay. I just wanted to tell you I was sorry. 407 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,646 Where are you going? 408 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:45,814 Gonna go... 409 00:26:46,607 --> 00:26:48,317 water my apartment. 410 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,903 So, where does that leave us? 411 00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:56,158 Let's just say the door's not closed. 412 00:26:56,241 --> 00:26:57,910 So it's open. 413 00:26:57,993 --> 00:26:59,119 No. 414 00:26:59,953 --> 00:27:01,330 It's ajar. 415 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,665 okay, so I'm at this mystery door. 416 00:27:03,749 --> 00:27:05,459 What if I push it open? 417 00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:08,086 Can't be pushed. 418 00:27:08,170 --> 00:27:09,630 How about if I knock? 419 00:27:10,964 --> 00:27:13,884 If it's a nice knock, I might answer. 420 00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:20,015 You can close that door behind you. 421 00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:25,521 Before I read my last will and testament... 422 00:27:25,604 --> 00:27:28,941 I just want to make one or two observations... 423 00:27:28,982 --> 00:27:32,945 to them who whatsoever should be listening. 424 00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:36,156 I'm now old... 425 00:27:36,198 --> 00:27:39,159 and one day you too are gonna be old... 426 00:27:39,201 --> 00:27:43,163 and you'll spend half your time sleepin'... 427 00:27:43,205 --> 00:27:45,916 and the other half eatin'. 428 00:27:45,999 --> 00:27:47,918 That was delicious. 429 00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:50,379 And then you'll die. 430 00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:52,881 Ever the gentleman. 431 00:27:52,965 --> 00:27:54,633 Don't shush me. 432 00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:57,177 - Guys. - l, James Shannon the first... 433 00:27:58,303 --> 00:28:00,722 What the hell are you doin'? 434 00:28:00,806 --> 00:28:02,891 Who told you to zoom in? 435 00:28:02,975 --> 00:28:04,685 Back off! 436 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:08,021 oh, for Pete's sake. 437 00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:10,858 I hereby bequeath my entire estate... 438 00:28:10,941 --> 00:28:12,860 - "Estate". - to my grandson... 439 00:28:12,901 --> 00:28:15,404 James Shannon the third. 440 00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:19,408 That's a few thousand shares... 441 00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:21,827 and quite a large stake... 442 00:28:21,869 --> 00:28:24,872 in USDA cows. 443 00:28:24,955 --> 00:28:26,707 Stake. Yeah, well, that's... 444 00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:29,459 No pun intended. 445 00:28:29,543 --> 00:28:34,173 Thanks to the exemplary eating habits of my fellow Americans... 446 00:28:35,507 --> 00:28:39,094 my entire net worth today... 447 00:28:39,178 --> 00:28:41,805 is just over... 448 00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:44,933 a hundred million dollars. 449 00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:49,897 That is a pretty hefty piece... 450 00:28:49,938 --> 00:28:52,191 of "boof borgeegnon". 451 00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:56,069 Yeah. 452 00:29:00,115 --> 00:29:01,700 Breathe, fellas. 453 00:29:04,369 --> 00:29:06,246 You want me to rewind? 454 00:29:06,330 --> 00:29:08,957 Do you want me to pause? okay. 455 00:29:09,041 --> 00:29:11,627 A hundred million dollars. 456 00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:16,048 No? Then we'll talk about the conditions. 457 00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:18,550 What is this, Brewster's Millions? 458 00:29:18,592 --> 00:29:20,802 - Throw 'em at us! - You and me both! 459 00:29:20,886 --> 00:29:22,137 Keep it down! 460 00:29:22,221 --> 00:29:26,391 Now, you moron. Now's the time you can come in on me. 461 00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,268 Come on! 462 00:29:28,352 --> 00:29:30,103 The conditions are... 463 00:29:30,187 --> 00:29:32,439 that he gets married... 464 00:29:32,523 --> 00:29:35,609 that, to guarantee that the union... 465 00:29:35,692 --> 00:29:38,403 isn't some shabby scam... 466 00:29:38,487 --> 00:29:42,491 he and his wife remain married for at least ten years... 467 00:29:42,574 --> 00:29:45,828 - Ten years? - one, zero... 468 00:29:45,911 --> 00:29:50,582 spending no more than one night apart each month... 469 00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:54,169 and that within five years... 470 00:29:54,253 --> 00:29:59,466 they produce genetically verifiable offspring! 471 00:30:00,551 --> 00:30:03,262 - I'd like to leave my grandson... - No way. 472 00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:05,097 with one final thought. 473 00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:06,598 Jimmie boy... 474 00:30:07,850 --> 00:30:09,768 if you don't get married... 475 00:30:09,810 --> 00:30:14,064 before 6:05 p.m.... 476 00:30:14,147 --> 00:30:16,650 on your 30th birthday... 477 00:30:16,692 --> 00:30:21,321 that was the time you came into this world... 478 00:30:21,405 --> 00:30:23,866 you're gonna get cut off... 479 00:30:23,949 --> 00:30:26,618 without a goddamn cent and f... 480 00:30:29,621 --> 00:30:31,999 I think we get the gist. 481 00:30:32,082 --> 00:30:34,001 So when is the wedding? 482 00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:37,713 oh, no. 483 00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:40,382 The night we saw you at the showroom... 484 00:30:40,465 --> 00:30:42,968 you were on your way to... 485 00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:45,888 The Starlight Room? That was you? 486 00:30:45,971 --> 00:30:49,558 Yep. That's right. I defiled the Starlight Room. 487 00:30:49,641 --> 00:30:52,519 And you know what? I'm glad. 488 00:30:52,561 --> 00:30:54,313 Forget the Starlight Room! 489 00:30:54,354 --> 00:30:57,733 Besides, I am gonna marry Anne. 490 00:30:57,816 --> 00:31:01,320 I just have to reconcile myself to the idea of marriage, that's all. 491 00:31:01,403 --> 00:31:05,866 Well, you'd better start reconciling. Your birthday is soon, right? Next week? 492 00:31:05,949 --> 00:31:07,659 No, it's not next week. 493 00:31:07,743 --> 00:31:09,328 Thank God. 494 00:31:09,369 --> 00:31:11,163 It's tomorrow. 495 00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:17,503 It's set. Gluckman got us the licenses and my Uncle Gus lent me a limo. 496 00:31:17,586 --> 00:31:20,172 Let's get the lady next door. She can play the organ. 497 00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:23,050 You think it's easy settin' up a wedding in an hour and a half? 498 00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:27,054 You're lucky the priest at my grandmother's nursing home was free. 499 00:31:28,639 --> 00:31:30,599 Yeah, well, there are limits. 500 00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:41,109 What kind of dumb bitch lets Leonardo DiCaprio drown? 501 00:31:42,152 --> 00:31:43,612 What are you babbling about? 502 00:31:43,695 --> 00:31:47,199 She gets a great guy like that and lets him slip through her fingers. 503 00:31:47,241 --> 00:31:49,701 Natalie, mind your own business. 504 00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:51,745 I'm just thinking out loud. 505 00:31:51,787 --> 00:31:56,083 He probably just tossed her up on that piece of wood and said, "You win". 506 00:31:56,166 --> 00:31:57,417 There's the priest. 507 00:31:57,459 --> 00:31:59,586 - What do you feel right now? - Well... 508 00:31:59,670 --> 00:32:00,879 Get over it! 509 00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:03,966 You're marrying the woman you love and inheriting a fortune. 510 00:32:04,049 --> 00:32:06,969 It's not like you're meeting the Grim Reaper. 511 00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,098 Jimmie Shannon? 512 00:32:11,181 --> 00:32:12,891 I've come for you. 513 00:32:13,976 --> 00:32:16,895 - Bye. - Hey, what's that smell? 514 00:32:17,813 --> 00:32:19,773 You're wearing his aftershave, aren't you? 515 00:32:19,815 --> 00:32:23,777 No. It's probably some just left on the sweater or something. 516 00:32:23,861 --> 00:32:25,571 Right. Yeah. 517 00:32:25,654 --> 00:32:28,240 Have fun at Mom and Dad's. 518 00:32:28,323 --> 00:32:31,910 I'm really sorry that I can't be there for all the anniversary stuff. 519 00:32:31,994 --> 00:32:35,289 Yeah, I can see how heartbroken you are. 520 00:32:35,330 --> 00:32:37,124 Bye. 521 00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:40,127 So, how's my grandmother? 522 00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:45,966 Should I tell her about the money? 523 00:32:46,049 --> 00:32:48,594 Are you kidding me? You're thinking of not? 524 00:32:48,677 --> 00:32:51,763 Do you really want to start your marriage off with a lie? 525 00:32:51,847 --> 00:32:54,808 No, but she's gonna kill me if I tell her. 526 00:32:54,892 --> 00:32:56,435 Anybody would. 527 00:32:56,518 --> 00:32:58,478 Your call, man. 528 00:33:01,231 --> 00:33:03,483 Give me one of those mints. 529 00:33:03,567 --> 00:33:07,779 You think she's gonna say, "I'm not marrying you till you brush your teeth?" 530 00:33:30,511 --> 00:33:33,222 It would be a very great honor to have your hand... 531 00:33:33,305 --> 00:33:36,642 Yes. I will. I do. Whatever. Is this thing real? 532 00:33:36,683 --> 00:33:38,310 Yeah. Think she'll say yes? 533 00:33:38,352 --> 00:33:40,812 I don't know. Suddenly she's gotten really particular. 534 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:42,481 I can't think why. 535 00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:45,108 Good thing you'll have three weeks to rehearse. 536 00:33:45,192 --> 00:33:46,360 Three weeks? 537 00:33:46,401 --> 00:33:49,530 Hot assignment in Athens. She left a half hour ago. 538 00:33:50,489 --> 00:33:52,074 Heliport. 539 00:33:52,157 --> 00:33:55,661 Hey. Running looks desperate. 540 00:33:58,831 --> 00:34:02,709 - The heliport! - Jimmie! You might need the ring. 541 00:34:34,783 --> 00:34:36,743 I'm outta here. 542 00:34:43,834 --> 00:34:45,252 Anne! 543 00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:52,467 What are you doing? I tried to call you at the office, but... 544 00:34:52,551 --> 00:34:54,803 Do you have a minute? 545 00:34:54,887 --> 00:34:57,389 Yeah, I've got a minute. What... 546 00:34:58,557 --> 00:34:59,808 What are you doing? 547 00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:04,771 Anne, would you do me the great honor of marrying me? 548 00:35:04,855 --> 00:35:06,106 What? 549 00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:10,360 - Would you do me the great honor... - I heard you. But why now? 550 00:35:10,444 --> 00:35:13,280 Just say yes, all right? Please. 551 00:35:13,322 --> 00:35:15,657 I really, really want you to. 552 00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:18,076 Well, that's definitely an improvement. 553 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:19,745 Is that a yes? 554 00:35:39,264 --> 00:35:41,183 What's going on? 555 00:35:41,266 --> 00:35:43,936 Nothing's going on. I love you. 556 00:35:44,019 --> 00:35:48,607 Yeah, I know that, but what's with the traveling wedding party? 557 00:35:48,649 --> 00:35:51,985 What's the point of waiting? Let's just do it. Today. Now. 558 00:35:52,820 --> 00:35:54,154 Right now now? 559 00:35:54,238 --> 00:35:56,698 Trust me. We gotta seize the moment. 560 00:35:56,782 --> 00:36:01,495 What's important is that I love you and I want to spend my life with you. 561 00:36:01,537 --> 00:36:03,664 - You're sure? - Yes. 562 00:36:03,747 --> 00:36:06,708 You're sure you want to tie the knot? 563 00:36:06,750 --> 00:36:08,502 You're really sure? 564 00:36:08,585 --> 00:36:11,129 You wanna get hitched? 565 00:36:11,213 --> 00:36:15,676 You wanna strap on the old ball and chain? 566 00:36:20,722 --> 00:36:25,310 Mm-hmm. See, now, there's the Jimmie Shannon that I know. 567 00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:28,856 Where are you going? 568 00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:30,899 You should've seen what I just saw. 569 00:36:30,983 --> 00:36:32,734 What did you just see? 570 00:36:33,652 --> 00:36:34,862 A bachelor. 571 00:36:35,737 --> 00:36:38,907 - What are you talking about? - You're not ready. 572 00:36:38,991 --> 00:36:42,202 of course I'm ready! I'm standing at a helipad in my tuxedo! 573 00:36:42,286 --> 00:36:44,329 No, you're not ready. 574 00:36:44,413 --> 00:36:46,790 Don't you understand? 575 00:36:46,874 --> 00:36:49,334 I don't know if you'll ever be ready. 576 00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:53,338 You've won. 577 00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:20,365 What the hell happened? 578 00:37:20,449 --> 00:37:22,701 oh, Jimmie got a look. 579 00:37:22,743 --> 00:37:25,245 A look? I don't understand. 580 00:37:25,287 --> 00:37:27,789 He was wallowing in bachelor memories again. 581 00:37:27,831 --> 00:37:29,291 I still don't understand. 582 00:37:29,374 --> 00:37:31,793 It's over. She took an assignment in Athens. 583 00:37:31,877 --> 00:37:33,962 - I tried to persuade her, but... - This is bad. 584 00:37:34,046 --> 00:37:35,464 Very bad. 585 00:37:35,547 --> 00:37:38,133 A hundred million dollars bad. 586 00:37:38,217 --> 00:37:41,970 The Shannon legend continues. The Starlight Room, now the helipad. 587 00:37:42,054 --> 00:37:44,681 Can you show me the look? Was it... 588 00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:47,184 or... 589 00:37:47,267 --> 00:37:49,895 I don't know, 'cause I didn't see it. 590 00:37:49,978 --> 00:37:54,399 I'm sorry about the money, but the woman I love just walked out on me. 591 00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:55,901 Maybe forever. 592 00:37:55,943 --> 00:37:57,903 You can't walk away from that money. 593 00:37:57,945 --> 00:37:59,696 You saw that video. 594 00:37:59,780 --> 00:38:03,951 If you don't get married, you're cut off without a goddamn cent and f... 595 00:38:05,619 --> 00:38:08,789 So I won't get the money. I've been fine without it so far. 596 00:38:08,831 --> 00:38:10,249 You don't understand. 597 00:38:10,332 --> 00:38:15,128 The will provides that all assets are to be sold for cash... 598 00:38:15,170 --> 00:38:17,130 including Shannon Billiards. 599 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,970 Can't wait till we're alone. 600 00:38:23,011 --> 00:38:27,599 Welcome onboard Virgin Atlantic Airways nonstop service to London... 601 00:38:27,641 --> 00:38:29,309 - I love you. - continuing on to Athens. 602 00:38:29,351 --> 00:38:33,313 our flying time will be approximately 18 hours. 603 00:38:33,355 --> 00:38:36,608 Will all ground crew please leave the plane. 604 00:38:36,650 --> 00:38:39,653 Are you saying oden Sports could buy the company? 605 00:38:39,695 --> 00:38:43,574 I'm telling you oden Sports will buy the company. 606 00:38:43,657 --> 00:38:45,742 These guys are like locusts. 607 00:38:45,826 --> 00:38:48,745 They buy you out, lay people off and strip the place clean. 608 00:38:48,829 --> 00:38:51,665 - The plant will be gone within a week. - We're screwed. 609 00:38:51,707 --> 00:38:53,375 Not necessarily. 610 00:38:54,835 --> 00:38:56,879 You have until just after 6:00 tomorrow night. 611 00:38:56,962 --> 00:38:58,672 That makes, what... 612 00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:01,550 27 hours and change. 613 00:39:03,385 --> 00:39:05,387 Find someone to marry. 614 00:39:06,221 --> 00:39:08,390 Fine. I'll get married just for you. 615 00:39:08,473 --> 00:39:12,186 Well, I'd be happy to entertain any better ideas. 616 00:39:12,269 --> 00:39:13,520 Anyone? 617 00:39:17,441 --> 00:39:18,859 I'm not hearing anything. 618 00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:21,862 Hear this. I found someone to marry. 619 00:39:21,945 --> 00:39:24,573 Not to be callous, Jimmie... 620 00:39:24,656 --> 00:39:27,493 but Anne already told you "no" twice. 621 00:39:27,534 --> 00:39:29,495 They're right, Jim. 622 00:39:29,578 --> 00:39:33,373 You made the decision not to tell Anne about the money. 623 00:39:33,457 --> 00:39:34,875 over is over. 624 00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:40,547 Sid and I are seeing one of your ex's tonight. 625 00:39:40,631 --> 00:39:43,675 She's organizing the fund-raising ball at the Steinard. 626 00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:47,429 - Buckley? - Not Buckley. 627 00:39:47,513 --> 00:39:50,015 So it won't be Buckley. Find someone else. 628 00:39:50,098 --> 00:39:52,226 I'm sorry. Jobs come and go. Businesses too. 629 00:39:52,309 --> 00:39:55,229 But Anne is... There's only one Anne. 630 00:39:55,312 --> 00:40:00,234 It's real easy for you three to tell me to walk away from the woman I love... 631 00:40:00,317 --> 00:40:03,153 but this is my life we're talking about. 632 00:40:03,237 --> 00:40:04,530 My life. 633 00:40:06,198 --> 00:40:07,866 Surprise! 634 00:40:07,950 --> 00:40:09,868 For he's a jolly good fellow 635 00:40:09,910 --> 00:40:13,080 For he's a jolly good fellow 636 00:40:13,163 --> 00:40:16,208 For he's a jolly good fellow 637 00:40:16,250 --> 00:40:17,960 Which nobody can deny 638 00:40:20,754 --> 00:40:22,798 What about their lives? 639 00:40:22,881 --> 00:40:25,342 This time next week they'll be out of jobs. 640 00:40:25,425 --> 00:40:28,428 over 200 families without providers. 641 00:40:28,512 --> 00:40:31,431 Women thrown out in the freezing cold. 642 00:40:31,515 --> 00:40:34,560 Children going to bed on empty stomachs. 643 00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:38,397 Well, if you're really gonna close down the plant... 644 00:40:39,731 --> 00:40:42,609 now's the time to do it. 645 00:40:42,651 --> 00:40:46,613 For he's a jolly good fellow 646 00:40:46,697 --> 00:40:49,575 Which nobody can deny 647 00:40:50,284 --> 00:40:52,161 Big 3-0 tomorrow! 648 00:40:55,706 --> 00:40:57,624 Let's go have some cake! 649 00:41:01,253 --> 00:41:03,046 As I recall... 650 00:41:03,130 --> 00:41:07,426 the first ten years of marriage fly by like no time at all. 651 00:41:07,509 --> 00:41:09,136 Really? 652 00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:10,470 No. 653 00:41:16,643 --> 00:41:19,188 I don't want to talk about it. 654 00:41:19,271 --> 00:41:20,814 okay. 655 00:41:35,662 --> 00:41:38,624 - What are you doing? - Cooking. 656 00:41:39,374 --> 00:41:40,834 What are you making? 657 00:41:45,297 --> 00:41:47,341 Is it me? 658 00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:52,721 I mean, am I just really bad at being proposed to? 659 00:41:58,477 --> 00:42:00,521 It couldn't have been worse than "you win". 660 00:42:00,604 --> 00:42:03,065 Don't underestimate the guy. 661 00:42:03,148 --> 00:42:04,858 That shithead! 662 00:42:04,942 --> 00:42:08,195 He can't commit. He can't commit. It's over. 663 00:42:08,237 --> 00:42:11,698 What do you mean, he can't commit? He's constantly asking you to marry him. 664 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:15,202 But you're not there when he does it. You don't see what happens to him. 665 00:42:15,244 --> 00:42:17,204 He completely goes to pieces. 666 00:42:17,246 --> 00:42:20,207 His jaw locks, his eyes get all big, he starts fidgeting... 667 00:42:20,249 --> 00:42:22,209 and he completely goes to this other place. 668 00:42:22,251 --> 00:42:26,255 It's like he's not even there! He's not even there! 669 00:42:27,673 --> 00:42:29,341 I know what you need. 670 00:42:34,304 --> 00:42:37,349 - I'm not going home with you. - Come on. Please? 671 00:42:37,432 --> 00:42:39,476 It'll be good for you. 672 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:44,022 Being with them will make whatever you're going through feel like nothing. 673 00:42:46,316 --> 00:42:50,779 okay. But if they start, you're taking me out drinking. 674 00:42:50,821 --> 00:42:52,364 Deal. 675 00:42:54,283 --> 00:42:56,869 Come on, gorilla. We in Manila. 676 00:42:56,910 --> 00:42:59,872 Come on, gorilla! This is the thrilla! 677 00:43:27,107 --> 00:43:29,526 Well, well. 678 00:43:31,487 --> 00:43:33,947 Well, this is quite a collection. 679 00:43:33,989 --> 00:43:37,075 Let's land you a trophy wife. 680 00:43:40,829 --> 00:43:42,789 - How about Monique? - No. Dull. 681 00:43:45,167 --> 00:43:47,127 It's between Stacey and Zoe. 682 00:43:48,754 --> 00:43:51,423 Stacey was terrific, but... 683 00:43:51,465 --> 00:43:53,592 Zoe was always there for me. 684 00:43:53,634 --> 00:43:55,594 Clingy, I think you said. 685 00:43:55,677 --> 00:43:58,931 Forget about "there for you". Who do you want to spend your life with? 686 00:43:59,014 --> 00:44:01,016 Anne. 687 00:44:03,519 --> 00:44:04,770 Choose. 688 00:44:07,523 --> 00:44:08,816 Stacey. 689 00:44:45,853 --> 00:44:48,814 Jimmie Shannon! Long time no see. 690 00:44:48,856 --> 00:44:51,984 Too long. You look beautiful. 691 00:44:52,025 --> 00:44:54,820 The hair. That's new, isn't it? 692 00:44:54,862 --> 00:44:56,822 Said like a true guy. 693 00:44:56,864 --> 00:44:59,032 So, pull up a chair. 694 00:45:01,410 --> 00:45:04,872 - Quiet in your pit today, huh? - It's the oPEC conference, so we wait. 695 00:45:04,955 --> 00:45:07,708 It's not a great day for a tour of the exchange. 696 00:45:09,543 --> 00:45:12,045 That's not exactly why I'm here. 697 00:45:13,046 --> 00:45:15,007 This is gonna seem sudden... 698 00:45:15,048 --> 00:45:19,219 but something completely unexpected came up and I thought about you... 699 00:45:19,303 --> 00:45:20,846 because of... 700 00:45:21,597 --> 00:45:24,183 I've always had great memories of when we dated. 701 00:45:26,268 --> 00:45:27,936 Me too. 702 00:45:28,020 --> 00:45:30,189 The thing is, my grandfather passed away last week... 703 00:45:30,230 --> 00:45:32,566 I'm so sorry. 704 00:45:32,649 --> 00:45:34,067 Kuwait walked out! 705 00:45:35,861 --> 00:45:38,530 Buy! Buy! Fourteen contracts! 706 00:45:38,614 --> 00:45:41,200 Fourteen contracts, right here! 707 00:45:43,869 --> 00:45:45,871 Nineteen bought! Done! 708 00:45:45,954 --> 00:45:47,915 You were saying about your grandfather. 709 00:45:47,956 --> 00:45:50,918 He left me some money. A lot, actually. 710 00:45:50,959 --> 00:45:52,586 Five! 711 00:45:52,669 --> 00:45:53,962 A hundred million dollars. 712 00:45:54,046 --> 00:45:55,756 Sell it! 713 00:45:55,797 --> 00:45:57,549 But there's a condition. 714 00:45:57,633 --> 00:45:59,051 Size! Size! 715 00:45:59,092 --> 00:46:00,886 Six! Five! Five! 716 00:46:00,969 --> 00:46:02,804 - Up five... - Here's the deal. 717 00:46:02,888 --> 00:46:05,390 To get the inheritance, I gotta be married tomorrow. 718 00:46:05,474 --> 00:46:08,060 I know it's sudden, but are you interested? 719 00:46:17,319 --> 00:46:18,570 She's engaged. 720 00:46:18,654 --> 00:46:20,239 Engaged or married? 721 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,283 - 'Cause if she's only engaged... - Forget about it. 722 00:46:23,325 --> 00:46:24,618 It ain't happening. 723 00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:27,120 So you'll marry Zoe. 724 00:46:27,204 --> 00:46:29,289 She was always there for you anyway. 725 00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:33,001 Zoe! 726 00:46:33,085 --> 00:46:34,753 Can't breathe. 727 00:46:34,795 --> 00:46:36,547 Me either! 728 00:46:36,630 --> 00:46:39,925 oh, I'm so excited. I can't believe this is happening. 729 00:46:40,008 --> 00:46:41,927 I've waited so long. 730 00:46:43,971 --> 00:46:46,473 What about what's-her-face? 731 00:46:47,641 --> 00:46:49,309 Anne. 732 00:46:59,903 --> 00:47:01,155 She said no. 733 00:47:01,238 --> 00:47:05,159 oh, I am just so thrilled that you would think of me next. 734 00:47:08,829 --> 00:47:10,664 oh, my God. 735 00:47:10,706 --> 00:47:12,666 How far down the list am I? 736 00:47:13,792 --> 00:47:16,170 Third. But what does that matter? 737 00:47:16,211 --> 00:47:19,173 I'm here because of all the wonderful times we had together. 738 00:47:20,549 --> 00:47:23,010 We did have some pretty magical times. 739 00:47:24,636 --> 00:47:28,348 In between you leaving me every now and then, saying I was too clingy. 740 00:47:28,432 --> 00:47:31,351 Zoe, I'm sorry. I just... 741 00:47:31,435 --> 00:47:36,648 If you forgive me now and marry me, I promise I will never leave you again. 742 00:47:36,732 --> 00:47:40,819 Swear to God that you will stay by my side always? 743 00:47:40,903 --> 00:47:44,156 It'll just be you and me forever? 744 00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:46,700 Come on, Natalie. We'll miss the train. 745 00:47:47,784 --> 00:47:48,869 Anne? 746 00:48:14,019 --> 00:48:16,480 I thought you were Anne. I'm sorry. 747 00:48:16,563 --> 00:48:18,357 Zoe! 748 00:48:20,442 --> 00:48:23,403 Clingy! He calls me clingy! 749 00:48:24,571 --> 00:48:26,532 Must be a fire sale. 750 00:48:37,501 --> 00:48:41,046 I can't believe you. Zoe was a lock. A lock! 751 00:48:41,129 --> 00:48:45,759 only one man would tell a broad she's third on his list while he's proposing... 752 00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:47,094 Jimmie Shannon! 753 00:48:47,177 --> 00:48:48,929 She burned me in effigy. 754 00:48:49,012 --> 00:48:51,640 Rita bites her nails. You adjust. 755 00:48:57,980 --> 00:48:59,398 What's this one's name? 756 00:49:00,274 --> 00:49:01,400 llana? 757 00:49:02,109 --> 00:49:03,277 Love llana! 758 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,572 Cute, funny. A bit theatrical, but she'll do. 759 00:49:06,655 --> 00:49:10,617 Hey, if you happen to see Anne again, just remember... 760 00:49:10,701 --> 00:49:13,203 she's on a plane to Athens. 761 00:49:13,287 --> 00:49:17,249 Hey, not your shade of green, jerk-off? Come on! What am I doin' here? 762 00:49:18,333 --> 00:49:21,253 The Napa Express is in the station... 763 00:49:21,295 --> 00:49:24,423 and continuing on to Redding and Portland, oregon. 764 00:49:24,506 --> 00:49:29,261 The Napa Express is departing immediately at 7:23. 765 00:49:29,344 --> 00:49:30,804 All aboard! 766 00:49:45,027 --> 00:49:46,778 Anne? 767 00:50:05,589 --> 00:50:06,924 What are you doing? 768 00:50:07,007 --> 00:50:09,843 I'm documenting my first day of being single. 769 00:50:09,927 --> 00:50:13,597 - Great, because we just missed our cab. - You know, I'm really lucky. 770 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:18,143 I came that close to making the biggest mistake of my life. 771 00:50:18,227 --> 00:50:19,520 That close. 772 00:50:21,230 --> 00:50:22,564 That close. 773 00:50:22,648 --> 00:50:26,151 Come on and tell the nice cab man. 774 00:50:35,869 --> 00:50:38,956 - I thought you said she was dying. - She is dying. 775 00:51:10,362 --> 00:51:11,864 Perfect. 776 00:51:21,331 --> 00:51:23,041 Encore! Encore! 777 00:51:26,628 --> 00:51:28,797 - Keep the change. - From a 20? 778 00:51:28,881 --> 00:51:32,384 - Wasn't that a four-dollar cab ride? - The poor guy had to listen to you. 779 00:51:32,426 --> 00:51:37,097 You think he went to work thinking, "l hope I find out about Anne and Jimmie". 780 00:51:37,181 --> 00:51:40,058 I'm sorry. I'm stopping. I'm stopping! 781 00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:42,811 Not another word out of me about Jimmie. 782 00:51:43,937 --> 00:51:47,065 But let's not talk about this with them. 783 00:51:47,149 --> 00:51:50,068 - 'Cause I just... - Please, God, make it stop. 784 00:51:55,157 --> 00:51:56,909 - Happy anniversary! - Thank you. 785 00:51:56,992 --> 00:51:59,286 I'll get the bags. 786 00:51:59,328 --> 00:52:02,289 Dale, missing you already. 787 00:52:07,961 --> 00:52:10,923 okay, how can I say this politely? 788 00:52:10,964 --> 00:52:15,010 If you hadn't walked in here just now, I'd have forgotten you even existed. 789 00:52:16,345 --> 00:52:19,306 I mean, Joey, you strut onto my stage... 790 00:52:19,348 --> 00:52:23,602 and dangle money in front of my face like I'm gonna swoon... 791 00:52:23,644 --> 00:52:26,855 when all I even remember about you is we screwed a couple of times. 792 00:52:26,939 --> 00:52:31,485 And I recall thinking you look nice with your shirt off. 793 00:52:31,568 --> 00:52:34,279 But then again, so do I. 794 00:52:34,321 --> 00:52:36,281 These are completely bent. These suck. 795 00:52:36,323 --> 00:52:39,868 - She didn't remember you, huh? - She did. Vaguely. 796 00:52:39,952 --> 00:52:42,371 oh, vaguely, that's good. 797 00:52:42,454 --> 00:52:45,874 I tell you, man, what goes around, comes around. 798 00:52:45,958 --> 00:52:49,211 - I have no idea what you mean by that. - Yeah, right. 799 00:52:49,294 --> 00:52:52,381 oh, it's my fault some girl I hooked up with a few years back... 800 00:52:52,464 --> 00:52:54,716 isn't chomping at the bit to marry me. 801 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,135 What goes around, comes around. 802 00:52:57,219 --> 00:53:00,848 All right, man, come on. We need a name and a number. 803 00:53:00,931 --> 00:53:02,182 Carolyn. 804 00:53:03,392 --> 00:53:05,352 oh, yeah, the eternal student. 805 00:53:05,394 --> 00:53:08,981 The kids'll be bright. They'll have no friends, but they'll be bright. 806 00:53:18,323 --> 00:53:22,744 I bet you've never even considered the symbolism of a traditional wedding. 807 00:53:22,828 --> 00:53:26,206 Give me a break, Carolyn. I was an Econ major. 808 00:53:26,248 --> 00:53:29,209 Then it's right up your alley, because that's what it is. 809 00:53:29,293 --> 00:53:31,920 It is a ritualized property transfer. 810 00:53:32,004 --> 00:53:36,216 Father-slash-seller arrives with daughter-slash-property... 811 00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:41,930 who's wearing a white dress to guarantee the merchandise is, you know, unspoiled. 812 00:53:42,014 --> 00:53:44,266 A religious figure sanctifies the sale... 813 00:53:44,349 --> 00:53:46,268 and daughter-property becomes wife-property. 814 00:53:46,351 --> 00:53:47,728 It's beautiful, really. 815 00:53:47,811 --> 00:53:49,354 It's precious. 816 00:53:49,396 --> 00:53:53,525 Look, this man-slash-potential groom doesn't have the time-slash-energy... 817 00:53:53,609 --> 00:53:58,155 to put up with this feminist-slash- pseudopsychological bullshit. 818 00:53:58,238 --> 00:54:00,282 Yes or no? 819 00:54:02,159 --> 00:54:04,077 Glad to see you still got balls. 820 00:54:04,161 --> 00:54:06,079 I don't believe in marriage. 821 00:54:06,163 --> 00:54:09,082 Neither do I. That's the beauty of this offer. 822 00:54:09,166 --> 00:54:12,085 It's a marriage for people who don't believe in marriage. 823 00:54:12,169 --> 00:54:15,005 Your outlook, Jimmie, is so totally patriarchal... 824 00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:18,550 right down to these roses, which are the classic male overture to seduction. 825 00:54:18,634 --> 00:54:22,137 I always thought of them as flowers. They certainly smell like flowers. 826 00:54:22,221 --> 00:54:26,225 No, it's symbolism. They just happen to be the plant's vagina. 827 00:54:27,809 --> 00:54:29,603 - Come on! - It's true! 828 00:54:29,686 --> 00:54:33,482 That symbolism is the reason men give flowers. 829 00:54:33,565 --> 00:54:37,194 Why would a man give a woman a symbolic vagina? 830 00:54:37,277 --> 00:54:38,821 Why wouldn't he? 831 00:54:38,904 --> 00:54:42,324 It just happens to signal that his intentions go beyond platonic. 832 00:54:42,407 --> 00:54:44,451 It lets her know what he ultimately wants. 833 00:54:44,535 --> 00:54:48,121 Carolyn, I'm not interested in your goddamn vagina, all right? 834 00:54:48,205 --> 00:54:50,249 I just wanna marry you! 835 00:55:18,277 --> 00:55:22,489 So, thinking ahead, if Daphne says no, who do we go for? 836 00:55:22,531 --> 00:55:25,325 Be serious. We need Daphne. 837 00:55:25,367 --> 00:55:27,870 I mean, who's left, Monique? 838 00:55:27,911 --> 00:55:29,830 We need Daphne, all right? 839 00:55:29,913 --> 00:55:32,249 Monique is dull. 840 00:55:32,332 --> 00:55:37,296 Her life is eggplants and bean sprouts... 841 00:55:37,379 --> 00:55:41,300 lettuce, Brussels sprouts, broccoli. 842 00:55:53,270 --> 00:55:55,647 This is so exciting. 843 00:55:57,774 --> 00:55:59,985 - No peeking! - oh, well, all right. 844 00:56:00,068 --> 00:56:01,904 No peeking? 845 00:56:01,987 --> 00:56:05,157 All right, there. okay. 846 00:56:09,536 --> 00:56:11,371 Go ahead. open the box. 847 00:56:13,415 --> 00:56:15,250 - I can't! - Yes, you can! 848 00:56:15,334 --> 00:56:17,878 - open the box. - open it! 849 00:56:17,961 --> 00:56:19,588 All right. 850 00:56:21,131 --> 00:56:24,927 It's so beautiful! 851 00:56:25,010 --> 00:56:26,970 You're so beautiful. 852 00:56:38,524 --> 00:56:39,608 Mom! 853 00:56:39,691 --> 00:56:41,944 That's why people don't go out with you. 854 00:56:43,278 --> 00:56:46,698 Wait. I have to go to the bathroom. 855 00:56:46,740 --> 00:56:48,367 Don't be too long. 856 00:56:49,827 --> 00:56:51,578 I'll be back as quick as I can. 857 00:57:01,463 --> 00:57:03,423 Missing you already! 858 00:57:03,507 --> 00:57:07,344 Natalie and I were talking about going to get a drink, if that's okay. 859 00:57:07,427 --> 00:57:09,221 okay? You kidding? 860 00:57:11,223 --> 00:57:14,142 Your mother and I have got plenty to keep ourselves amused. 861 00:57:14,226 --> 00:57:15,394 - Drink? - Drink. 862 00:57:37,583 --> 00:57:39,751 Move aside. 863 00:57:43,046 --> 00:57:44,089 Through here. 864 00:57:45,132 --> 00:57:46,967 Come on. 865 00:57:47,009 --> 00:57:48,802 I got him from here. 866 00:57:48,886 --> 00:57:52,139 Get him the hell into cell six, and nobody talks to him but me. 867 00:57:52,222 --> 00:57:53,599 You got it. 868 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,477 Hey, hey, hey! You think I'm playing some kind of game with you? 869 00:57:56,518 --> 00:57:58,770 I don't play good cop-bad cop. It requires too much patience. 870 00:57:58,854 --> 00:58:01,440 I go straight to bad cop, worse cop. 871 00:58:01,482 --> 00:58:03,984 - Now behave! - You heard the lady. Move it! 872 00:58:08,238 --> 00:58:10,449 - I see you're still enjoying your job. - Yeah. 873 00:58:10,491 --> 00:58:12,993 You look great. 874 00:58:13,076 --> 00:58:15,496 - You lose some weight? - Get that guy! 875 00:58:18,624 --> 00:58:23,170 Stay down, ya stinkin' mope, before I hammer your nuts up to your tonsils! 876 00:58:26,632 --> 00:58:29,176 Twelve pounds. Can ya tell? 877 00:58:32,262 --> 00:58:35,682 - Would you relax? - Relax? Let me get this straight. 878 00:58:35,724 --> 00:58:37,684 You're saying, take this money... 879 00:58:37,768 --> 00:58:40,813 and give up any chance of ever finding true and meaningful love? 880 00:58:40,854 --> 00:58:44,316 I'm only kind of saying that. 881 00:58:45,734 --> 00:58:47,402 What is wrong with you? 882 00:58:47,486 --> 00:58:50,364 What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? 883 00:58:51,532 --> 00:58:53,575 Don't you want to marry someone you love? 884 00:58:53,659 --> 00:58:58,080 Unfortunately, for me, at this point, that is not an option. 885 00:58:58,121 --> 00:59:00,666 Well, fortunately, for me, it is. 886 00:59:03,210 --> 00:59:08,173 I've always had this dream that I'd open up my own restaurant and have this... 887 00:59:09,550 --> 00:59:11,176 You don't want to hear about this. 888 00:59:13,053 --> 00:59:16,557 I'd definitely like to hear about this. 889 00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,642 It'd be more than a restaurant. 890 00:59:18,725 --> 00:59:20,686 It'd be more like a new approach to food. 891 00:59:20,769 --> 00:59:23,772 Take salad. People hear "salad," and they think lettuce, right? 892 00:59:23,856 --> 00:59:27,025 And usually iceberg lettuce, especially Americans. 893 00:59:27,109 --> 00:59:31,530 They don't realize all the different varieties and kinds of lettuce... 894 00:59:31,613 --> 00:59:34,449 and all the things that can be done... 895 00:59:34,533 --> 00:59:35,909 Brussels sprouts. 896 00:59:35,951 --> 00:59:39,454 People go through their day kind of blah. 897 00:59:39,538 --> 00:59:41,748 But if they really stopped and looked... 898 00:59:41,832 --> 00:59:46,753 they'd realize that the Brussels sprout is more than another green vegetable. 899 00:59:46,795 --> 00:59:48,755 What it really is... 900 00:59:52,885 --> 00:59:54,261 Cabbage. 901 00:59:55,596 --> 00:59:57,890 How could you strike out six times? 902 00:59:57,973 --> 01:00:01,435 It hasn't been pretty. on the last one he says he blanked. 903 01:00:01,518 --> 01:00:02,936 You mentioned the money? 904 01:00:03,020 --> 01:00:05,105 That's what happened, all right? 905 01:00:05,189 --> 01:00:09,485 I just lost my ability to carry on a conversation. 906 01:00:09,568 --> 01:00:10,944 You used to date her! 907 01:00:11,028 --> 01:00:13,489 So what do you want me to do, mime the proposal? 908 01:00:13,572 --> 01:00:16,200 - Yes! - And you mentioned the money? 909 01:00:16,283 --> 01:00:18,911 What in hell kind of women are these? 910 01:00:18,994 --> 01:00:21,288 Enough! All right? Where is she? 911 01:00:24,082 --> 01:00:26,001 Buckley. 912 01:00:26,084 --> 01:00:29,546 okay, crunch time. Seventh game of the World Series. 913 01:00:29,630 --> 01:00:32,674 Bottom of the ninth, two outs, full count. 914 01:00:32,758 --> 01:00:36,303 This is our last chance. There's no tomorrow. Got it? 915 01:00:36,386 --> 01:00:37,804 Four clich�s ago. 916 01:00:37,846 --> 01:00:40,974 237 jobs, man, huh? 917 01:00:41,058 --> 01:00:43,227 Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas. 918 01:00:45,312 --> 01:00:47,356 You are sick! 919 01:00:49,942 --> 01:00:52,319 Nice to see you, Buckley. 920 01:00:54,321 --> 01:00:56,281 - You didn't have to. - Well, I wanted to. 921 01:00:56,323 --> 01:01:00,118 Truth is, ever since we stopped dating... 922 01:01:00,202 --> 01:01:03,789 well, I've thought about you a lot. 923 01:01:03,831 --> 01:01:07,167 And what have you been thinking? 924 01:01:07,209 --> 01:01:10,796 Well, I've been thinking that of all the women I've dated... 925 01:01:10,879 --> 01:01:14,675 you are without question... 926 01:01:14,716 --> 01:01:16,176 the... 927 01:01:18,011 --> 01:01:19,638 most poised. 928 01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,723 I'm sure you're right. 929 01:01:21,807 --> 01:01:25,227 Yeah, and lately I've... 930 01:01:25,310 --> 01:01:27,980 realized I could use more poise in my life. 931 01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,567 What are you doing? 932 01:01:31,650 --> 01:01:33,360 You must wonder what we're doing here. 933 01:01:35,779 --> 01:01:39,449 Roy o'Dell told me all about your grandfather's will. 934 01:01:39,533 --> 01:01:42,703 - I'll marry you. - You will? 935 01:01:42,786 --> 01:01:45,831 Just like that? 936 01:01:45,914 --> 01:01:48,625 The Hale-Winter family situation is eroding. 937 01:01:48,709 --> 01:01:50,836 We could use an infusion. 938 01:01:50,919 --> 01:01:53,755 Sacrifices must be made. 939 01:01:58,260 --> 01:01:59,344 Get up. 940 01:02:25,579 --> 01:02:27,956 okay. oh, my goodness. 941 01:02:34,046 --> 01:02:35,881 This is fun! 942 01:02:37,925 --> 01:02:40,761 I'd forgotten how much fun this can be! 943 01:02:40,844 --> 01:02:43,764 It took you 22 San Miguels to realize that? 944 01:02:44,932 --> 01:02:47,059 Really nice guys, huh? 945 01:02:47,142 --> 01:02:49,269 Viable choices. 946 01:03:09,289 --> 01:03:13,085 - Can I cut in? - Yeah, cut in. Hi. 947 01:03:13,126 --> 01:03:15,003 oh, God. 948 01:03:19,675 --> 01:03:22,427 How come Mom and Dad like each other so much? 949 01:03:22,469 --> 01:03:23,929 I know. 950 01:03:25,639 --> 01:03:29,184 It's hard to take, but it would be really... 951 01:03:29,268 --> 01:03:32,271 - It would be really nice to have. - Yeah. 952 01:03:33,313 --> 01:03:35,983 For those of us who don't already have it. 953 01:03:39,111 --> 01:03:44,283 - Where's Marco? - He went to pick up Buckley's dress. 954 01:03:45,409 --> 01:03:51,206 It's been on standby since the family Picassos went up for auction. 955 01:03:51,290 --> 01:03:54,877 one hundred million dollars. 956 01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:56,378 one hundred million dollars. 957 01:03:57,796 --> 01:04:00,966 one, zero, zero, million dollars. 958 01:04:01,884 --> 01:04:05,179 Ten times ten million dollars. 959 01:04:05,220 --> 01:04:10,809 one hundred million dollars. 960 01:04:11,977 --> 01:04:14,229 Now, kid, just remember... 961 01:04:14,313 --> 01:04:17,149 Buckley can be very loving. 962 01:04:19,651 --> 01:04:24,406 Father, would you zip me, please? 963 01:04:41,215 --> 01:04:43,342 okay. I'm ready. 964 01:04:48,055 --> 01:04:51,850 - Assembled mourners... - Wrong service, Father. 965 01:04:51,934 --> 01:04:53,894 Is it? 966 01:04:58,357 --> 01:05:01,485 one hundred million dollars. 967 01:05:01,568 --> 01:05:04,363 Dearest, any chance you could say that silently? 968 01:05:04,404 --> 01:05:06,448 one hundred... Why don't we skip the pet names? 969 01:05:06,532 --> 01:05:08,700 This is a business arrangement, pure and simple. 970 01:05:08,742 --> 01:05:12,412 It's a little more than that. We'll be spending a lot of time together. 971 01:05:12,496 --> 01:05:15,958 I don't see why. You'll keep your place in the city. I'll stay in Marin. 972 01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:18,252 We'll see each other when we absolutely need to. 973 01:05:18,335 --> 01:05:21,296 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... 974 01:05:21,380 --> 01:05:24,341 I'm sorry, Father. Roy, what did you tell her about the will's provisions? 975 01:05:24,424 --> 01:05:28,887 I don't recall my exact words. 976 01:05:28,971 --> 01:05:31,640 We can only spend one night apart a month. 977 01:05:33,142 --> 01:05:35,102 one night together a month. 978 01:05:38,856 --> 01:05:42,109 - Pardon me. - Nice job. 979 01:05:49,408 --> 01:05:52,286 Does the will require that we sleep in the same bed... 980 01:05:52,369 --> 01:05:54,830 or would, say, twin beds create a problem? 981 01:05:54,913 --> 01:05:56,957 None at all. 982 01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,585 opposite wings in an enormous manor? 983 01:05:59,668 --> 01:06:02,796 As long as you're under the same roof. 984 01:06:12,514 --> 01:06:14,683 Continue, please, Father. 985 01:06:14,766 --> 01:06:16,351 Don't worry. We'll adjust. 986 01:06:17,436 --> 01:06:19,938 That will hardly be necessary. Three years will be over before we know it. 987 01:06:19,980 --> 01:06:21,982 - Go ahead. - oh, Lord. 988 01:06:22,024 --> 01:06:23,317 - Three? - Go on. 989 01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:26,820 - To join these people in matrimony. - Excuse me, Father. 990 01:06:29,990 --> 01:06:32,701 I may have misspoken. 991 01:06:32,784 --> 01:06:36,205 The marriage has to last longer. 992 01:06:37,122 --> 01:06:39,333 - Ten years. - A decade? 993 01:06:41,668 --> 01:06:43,128 Pardon me. 994 01:06:51,220 --> 01:06:52,971 And in ten years, I go free? 995 01:06:53,013 --> 01:06:54,807 Free as a bird. 996 01:06:56,183 --> 01:06:58,894 - With my half of the estate? - Yes. 997 01:07:08,278 --> 01:07:10,906 And I can live anywhere and with anyone I want? 998 01:07:10,989 --> 01:07:15,702 If you choose, you can leave the children and move to Afghanistan. 999 01:07:15,786 --> 01:07:17,704 - Do you, Jimmie... - Children? 1000 01:07:17,788 --> 01:07:19,540 Don't worry. You have five years. 1001 01:07:19,623 --> 01:07:22,084 Take this Buckley... 1002 01:07:43,814 --> 01:07:45,399 one hundred million dollars. 1003 01:07:47,317 --> 01:07:49,319 Children within five years. 1004 01:07:52,698 --> 01:07:54,616 one hundred million dollars. 1005 01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:56,618 Children within five years. 1006 01:07:57,286 --> 01:07:58,996 one kid! That's all! 1007 01:07:59,079 --> 01:08:03,000 Do like the English! As soon as he can crawl, ship him off to boarding school. 1008 01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:05,043 You can have an epidural! 1009 01:08:07,129 --> 01:08:09,715 Roy, let's go! 1010 01:08:09,798 --> 01:08:12,050 I've got to fill out some paperwork. 1011 01:08:13,260 --> 01:08:16,805 What paperwork? What are you talking about? 1012 01:08:16,889 --> 01:08:20,350 Freeze the company's accounts to prepare it for sale. 1013 01:08:20,434 --> 01:08:22,561 You're cuttin' us off without a goddamn dime! 1014 01:08:22,644 --> 01:08:24,938 You think I want to? 1015 01:08:24,980 --> 01:08:27,941 We won't get paid without that money. I'll lose my home. 1016 01:08:28,025 --> 01:08:30,944 So if I act illegally, I'll lose mine! 1017 01:08:31,028 --> 01:08:34,239 You have three homes! 1018 01:08:34,323 --> 01:08:36,283 I'm a lawyer. 1019 01:08:36,325 --> 01:08:38,619 There's still 17 hours, all right? Let's not panic. 1020 01:08:38,702 --> 01:08:40,954 I'll think of someone. 1021 01:08:41,038 --> 01:08:42,956 You better. We've got our backs to the wall. 1022 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:46,251 Time for desperate measures. What about my daughter? 1023 01:08:46,335 --> 01:08:49,254 - Absolutely not. - Why not? 1024 01:08:49,296 --> 01:08:53,175 - She isn't good enough for you? - She's 15! 1025 01:08:53,258 --> 01:08:56,136 It's pretty late in the game for you to be Mr. Choosy. 1026 01:08:57,471 --> 01:08:59,431 Give me a lift home. 1027 01:08:59,515 --> 01:09:02,976 I'm too disgusted to drive. 1028 01:09:25,332 --> 01:09:29,002 From now on, we're only dating divorc�s. 1029 01:09:29,086 --> 01:09:30,879 Why? 1030 01:09:30,963 --> 01:09:34,132 'Cause we'll know they're already ready. 1031 01:09:34,216 --> 01:09:38,470 Right. or widowers then. Can't forget the widowers. 1032 01:09:38,554 --> 01:09:41,640 If only Jimmie had one dead wife, right? 1033 01:09:41,723 --> 01:09:44,518 - Then he'd be ready. - or two. 1034 01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:48,689 - Imagine if he had two, boy. - Yeah, then you guys would be married. 1035 01:09:53,902 --> 01:09:55,863 Do you think he'll call? 1036 01:09:55,904 --> 01:09:58,657 He doesn't even know you're here. 1037 01:09:59,575 --> 01:10:02,119 Yeah, that's right. 1038 01:10:02,202 --> 01:10:07,124 Can you imagine Jimmie at that salsa club tonight? 1039 01:10:09,209 --> 01:10:14,006 oh, my God. Trying to do that Rico Suave dip move. 1040 01:10:14,089 --> 01:10:17,176 oh, my gosh. The Riverdancer he's not. 1041 01:10:17,259 --> 01:10:22,097 Always kicks me in the shins and he scrunches my toes. 1042 01:10:23,348 --> 01:10:26,560 That would have been hysterical to watch him try. 1043 01:10:27,394 --> 01:10:30,856 - Call him. - What do you mean, "call him"? 1044 01:10:34,193 --> 01:10:36,570 okay, what do I say? 1045 01:10:39,156 --> 01:10:43,535 That you love him and you'll keep seeing each other... 1046 01:10:43,577 --> 01:10:46,413 as long as he doesn't propose. 1047 01:11:00,761 --> 01:11:02,721 That's it! That is it! 1048 01:11:02,763 --> 01:11:04,807 - Calm down. - The sun! 1049 01:11:04,890 --> 01:11:06,809 The sun! It's rising! 1050 01:11:06,892 --> 01:11:09,853 Just sit down, all right? The important thing is to find me a bride. 1051 01:11:09,937 --> 01:11:11,939 - I'm thinking here. - You're thinkin'? 1052 01:11:12,022 --> 01:11:15,609 Well, zippity-doo-dah! Hey, he's thinkin'! 1053 01:11:15,692 --> 01:11:18,195 I hear the flowers bursting into song. 1054 01:11:19,947 --> 01:11:24,159 Hey, listen. one moment, sir. The wheels are turning. 1055 01:11:24,243 --> 01:11:27,871 Ah, yes, proof positive indeed that there is a God. 1056 01:11:27,955 --> 01:11:33,001 You know why? Because my friend has finally experienced brain activity! 1057 01:11:33,085 --> 01:11:36,755 Hey, let's hear what he has to say. 1058 01:11:36,839 --> 01:11:40,676 - Pray, do tell. - It's not them. It's me. 1059 01:11:40,759 --> 01:11:45,347 They can see it in my face, just like Anne. 1060 01:11:45,430 --> 01:11:48,475 They know I don't want to get married. 1061 01:11:50,102 --> 01:11:51,603 That's it. 1062 01:11:51,687 --> 01:11:54,523 - Where you goin'? - To get you a wife. 1063 01:11:55,649 --> 01:11:57,484 Alone! 1064 01:11:57,568 --> 01:11:59,820 You think I'm gonna sit back and let you pick my wife? 1065 01:11:59,862 --> 01:12:02,656 - It's our only hope! - What is that supposed to mean? 1066 01:12:02,739 --> 01:12:05,701 You know how many times you've proposed now? Ten! 1067 01:12:07,327 --> 01:12:09,371 No, nine, and that includes Anne. 1068 01:12:09,454 --> 01:12:11,832 Excuse me! Ten! 1069 01:12:11,915 --> 01:12:14,501 What am I supposed to do, just wait here? 1070 01:12:14,585 --> 01:12:18,714 Just be at Saint Peter and Paul Church at 5:00. I'll have someone. 1071 01:12:18,797 --> 01:12:22,009 Don't forget the priest, and happy birthday. 1072 01:12:23,844 --> 01:12:25,762 He's still not there! 1073 01:12:25,846 --> 01:12:29,516 - Leave a message on the answer machine. - It's not picking up! 1074 01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:31,518 The next train doesn't leave until 1:15. 1075 01:12:31,602 --> 01:12:34,980 You're kidding! Well, let's go anyway. 1076 01:12:41,403 --> 01:12:43,614 So much for sleeping. 1077 01:12:43,697 --> 01:12:45,657 What time did you say we can get into that church? 1078 01:12:45,741 --> 01:12:47,159 2:30. 1079 01:12:49,244 --> 01:12:51,205 That gives us hours. 1080 01:12:51,288 --> 01:12:53,332 You got any ideas? 1081 01:13:21,610 --> 01:13:23,987 They all make it look so easy. 1082 01:13:25,072 --> 01:13:28,283 - Been a long night, huh? - No kidding. 1083 01:13:28,367 --> 01:13:30,369 It's grueling out there. 1084 01:13:30,452 --> 01:13:34,998 You definitely made the right decision as far as the whole celibacy thing. 1085 01:13:35,082 --> 01:13:39,711 I believe we were put here to love and cherish one another. 1086 01:13:39,753 --> 01:13:43,298 Sharing your life with someone you love is a blessing. 1087 01:13:43,382 --> 01:13:45,968 Somebody very wise taught me that. 1088 01:13:46,051 --> 01:13:48,804 - Jesus? - My wife. 1089 01:13:48,887 --> 01:13:51,223 You're married? 1090 01:13:51,265 --> 01:13:54,977 I was happily married for 26 years. 1091 01:13:55,060 --> 01:13:57,896 I only put on this collar when my wife died. 1092 01:13:57,980 --> 01:14:02,359 I'm the father of four and the grandfather of ten. 1093 01:14:02,442 --> 01:14:04,695 A priest with grandchildren. 1094 01:14:04,778 --> 01:14:06,155 That's the youngest. 1095 01:14:07,489 --> 01:14:10,909 Took his first steps last Tuesday. 1096 01:14:10,993 --> 01:14:14,663 Getting married was one of the best things I ever did. 1097 01:14:16,456 --> 01:14:19,585 It's a wonderful thing as time goes by... 1098 01:14:19,668 --> 01:14:23,172 to be with someone who looks into your face when you've gotten old... 1099 01:14:23,255 --> 01:14:25,632 and still sees what you think you look like. 1100 01:14:27,259 --> 01:14:29,887 The first time 1101 01:14:31,805 --> 01:14:35,642 Ever I saw your face 1102 01:14:41,815 --> 01:14:45,110 I thought the sun 1103 01:14:47,279 --> 01:14:51,950 Rose in your eye 1104 01:15:01,710 --> 01:15:03,879 Welcome to the other side? 1105 01:15:07,674 --> 01:15:09,801 Best thing you ever did, huh? 1106 01:15:20,020 --> 01:15:22,523 - Hello? - Who's this? 1107 01:15:22,564 --> 01:15:24,650 - Who's this? - It's Anne. 1108 01:15:24,691 --> 01:15:26,652 oh, Anne, it's Rita. 1109 01:15:26,693 --> 01:15:30,864 Hey, Mr. All-nighter, it's Anne looking for Jimmie. 1110 01:15:35,619 --> 01:15:37,246 How's Greece? 1111 01:15:37,329 --> 01:15:40,082 oh, hi, Marco. Where's Jimmie? 1112 01:15:40,165 --> 01:15:43,752 He's not home? We were out, you know, boy stuff. 1113 01:15:43,836 --> 01:15:46,713 And you ended up with his phone? What did you do to him? 1114 01:15:46,755 --> 01:15:50,926 Take it easy. You goin' to Athens nearly cost me my job... 1115 01:15:51,009 --> 01:15:52,970 not to mention, breakin' his heart. 1116 01:15:55,097 --> 01:15:57,599 Well, I didn't go. 1117 01:15:57,683 --> 01:16:01,228 I didn't go. I never went. I'm here in Mendocino with... 1118 01:16:01,311 --> 01:16:04,606 Yeah, okay. With Natalie. We're taking the 1:15 home. 1119 01:16:04,690 --> 01:16:09,069 So can you find Jimmie and will you... 1120 01:16:09,111 --> 01:16:11,947 Well, find Jimmie and just tell him... 1121 01:16:12,030 --> 01:16:14,533 that I really, really want to see him for dinner, okay? 1122 01:16:14,616 --> 01:16:16,785 - Yeah. - okay, thanks. 1123 01:16:18,203 --> 01:16:19,872 Hurry! 1124 01:16:22,166 --> 01:16:25,043 So this is where I'm going to tie the knot. 1125 01:16:25,085 --> 01:16:28,380 Me and Marco's mystery bride. 1126 01:16:29,798 --> 01:16:32,885 Why don't you try to get some sleep? 1127 01:16:33,844 --> 01:16:37,347 If I shut my eyes, I'll want to sleep forever. 1128 01:16:37,389 --> 01:16:39,766 You got about three hours. 1129 01:16:43,103 --> 01:16:45,355 Here. Hold on. Here. 1130 01:16:48,275 --> 01:16:50,986 Maybe when you wake up... 1131 01:16:52,613 --> 01:16:54,948 the world will look a lot different. 1132 01:17:01,788 --> 01:17:04,708 So, they get in at 5:50. 1133 01:17:04,791 --> 01:17:08,629 Which leaves us only 15 minutes to get to the church and get them married. 1134 01:17:08,670 --> 01:17:11,673 Tight, but doable. Does she know about last night? 1135 01:17:11,757 --> 01:17:14,259 Like I'm gonna tell her. That's Jimmie's problem. 1136 01:17:14,301 --> 01:17:16,595 If he had had more balls in the first place... 1137 01:17:17,805 --> 01:17:20,140 The thing is, he's not home and I have his cell phone. 1138 01:17:20,224 --> 01:17:22,643 - Have you heard from him? - Not a word. 1139 01:17:23,769 --> 01:17:26,688 Good news, darlin'. You're off the hook. 1140 01:17:28,148 --> 01:17:30,901 I guess the only thing is to get to the church. 1141 01:17:30,984 --> 01:17:33,362 There will be some disappointed brides there, but they'll get over it. 1142 01:17:33,445 --> 01:17:36,365 - "Some"? - Half a dozen, a dozen tops. 1143 01:17:36,448 --> 01:17:38,492 I put an ad in the classifieds. 1144 01:17:39,493 --> 01:17:41,036 Very good thinkin'. 1145 01:17:41,119 --> 01:17:44,790 Thanks. It cost me some bucks. Plus I had to send them a picture. 1146 01:17:44,832 --> 01:17:47,334 For the classified? 1147 01:17:59,972 --> 01:18:04,518 "Would you marry this man for 100..." What? What is this? 1148 01:18:04,601 --> 01:18:07,062 - Read it! - Did you see this? 1149 01:18:07,146 --> 01:18:09,231 No way! Come on! 1150 01:18:59,740 --> 01:19:01,241 Yes! 1151 01:19:31,939 --> 01:19:33,899 What time is it? 1152 01:19:33,982 --> 01:19:35,943 I got ten to 5:00. 1153 01:19:35,984 --> 01:19:38,904 Who said you could speak, asshole? 1154 01:19:38,946 --> 01:19:42,741 This is not my fault! I only put an ad in the classifieds. 1155 01:19:42,783 --> 01:19:45,202 Maybe we could sue. 1156 01:19:45,285 --> 01:19:50,874 Shut up! Shut up! I swear I'll break your scrawny neck with my bare hands! 1157 01:19:50,958 --> 01:19:53,961 According to him, who better remain silent... 1158 01:19:54,044 --> 01:19:57,256 Anne will be here by 6:00 at the latest. 1159 01:19:57,297 --> 01:19:59,299 We got five minutes for a wedding service. 1160 01:19:59,341 --> 01:20:02,553 If we keep the church, we're golden. 1161 01:20:02,636 --> 01:20:04,596 What the hell? 1162 01:20:05,681 --> 01:20:08,600 oh, poor Jimmie. 1163 01:20:21,155 --> 01:20:23,115 Get off my train! 1164 01:20:25,742 --> 01:20:27,661 Hello, handsome. 1165 01:20:30,122 --> 01:20:32,499 Well, hello there! 1166 01:20:32,541 --> 01:20:34,793 Let's get the hell out of here, huh? I got my bike outside. 1167 01:20:34,835 --> 01:20:36,086 Don't even think about it. 1168 01:20:36,170 --> 01:20:37,629 - Let go, freak! - "Freak"? 1169 01:20:37,713 --> 01:20:40,340 - He's mine, you hippo! - In your dreams! 1170 01:20:40,424 --> 01:20:41,341 Take it easy! 1171 01:20:41,425 --> 01:20:46,388 oh, damn! Johnnie, pick me! I'll make you so happy! 1172 01:20:46,472 --> 01:20:48,390 - It was like you were dead in heaven. - It's Jimmie! 1173 01:20:48,474 --> 01:20:52,603 You're my last chance, my last chance. 1174 01:20:52,686 --> 01:20:55,647 Princeton University, the same college as Brooke Shields. 1175 01:20:55,731 --> 01:21:00,235 He didn't say nothin' in the paper about education. Is that important? 1176 01:21:00,319 --> 01:21:02,321 Yes, you have to tell us how you're choosing. 1177 01:21:02,404 --> 01:21:04,740 Yeah, we need criteria. 1178 01:21:04,823 --> 01:21:08,160 Fair is fair, honey! Come on! Give us criteria. 1179 01:21:08,202 --> 01:21:11,038 Criteria! Criteria! 1180 01:21:16,376 --> 01:21:18,378 Calm down! Calm down! 1181 01:21:18,420 --> 01:21:20,589 Please, calm down! Look! 1182 01:21:22,132 --> 01:21:25,093 My criteria are... 1183 01:21:25,177 --> 01:21:27,221 you know, the same as any man's. 1184 01:21:27,304 --> 01:21:29,515 Answer the damn question! 1185 01:21:29,556 --> 01:21:31,558 This is a difficult situation. 1186 01:21:31,642 --> 01:21:34,770 I'm not gonna rush through it and risk hurting people's feelings. 1187 01:21:34,853 --> 01:21:38,357 He was firm! I love that in a man! 1188 01:21:38,440 --> 01:21:41,860 - And yet somehow, still sensitive. - oh, shut up. 1189 01:21:41,902 --> 01:21:45,697 - Is religion a criteria? - Absolutely not. 1190 01:21:45,739 --> 01:21:48,200 How about education? Is that a criterion? 1191 01:21:48,242 --> 01:21:51,620 I suppose some college would be a plus. 1192 01:21:51,703 --> 01:21:55,290 - College? - A plus, but not a requirement. 1193 01:21:55,374 --> 01:21:57,709 How about English? 1194 01:21:57,793 --> 01:21:59,378 She has to speak English. 1195 01:22:01,672 --> 01:22:04,550 I'm sorry. I gotta draw the line somewhere. 1196 01:22:12,975 --> 01:22:15,310 How's about looks? 1197 01:22:15,394 --> 01:22:16,895 Looks? 1198 01:22:16,937 --> 01:22:19,314 Yeah, looks! 1199 01:22:20,399 --> 01:22:22,359 That's a hard question... 1200 01:22:22,442 --> 01:22:26,572 because, as you know, physical attraction is... 1201 01:22:26,613 --> 01:22:28,782 It's a chemistry thing, really. 1202 01:22:28,866 --> 01:22:32,619 What she means is, should we clear out and leave you with the skinny blonds? 1203 01:22:32,703 --> 01:22:34,621 I didn't say that. 1204 01:22:34,705 --> 01:22:37,249 But we are talking about weight limit, aren't we? 1205 01:22:37,332 --> 01:22:39,168 - Well... - How much? 1206 01:22:39,251 --> 01:22:41,503 What's the weight criteria? 1207 01:22:41,587 --> 01:22:43,380 Right on, sister. 1208 01:22:43,463 --> 01:22:46,008 - I don't know. - What's your cutoff? 1209 01:22:46,091 --> 01:22:48,552 - 150? - 150! 1210 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:53,265 You don't get a set like these at 150! 1211 01:22:53,348 --> 01:22:56,518 Why don't you just say skinny blonds and get it over with? 1212 01:22:56,602 --> 01:22:59,271 Skinny blonds with big jugs! 1213 01:22:59,354 --> 01:23:00,898 Don't put that clich� on me. 1214 01:23:00,939 --> 01:23:04,151 You just said the criteria were the same as most other men. 1215 01:23:04,234 --> 01:23:06,987 Most other men like blonds. It's a simple syllogism. 1216 01:23:07,070 --> 01:23:09,114 - But even so... - Hey! 1217 01:23:09,198 --> 01:23:12,868 Do you like blonds? 1218 01:23:12,951 --> 01:23:16,538 I'm not gonna say I don't like blonds! 1219 01:23:16,622 --> 01:23:19,333 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1220 01:23:20,083 --> 01:23:21,585 Ladies! 1221 01:23:21,668 --> 01:23:25,672 Ladies and ladies. 1222 01:23:25,756 --> 01:23:30,761 As the priest of this church, I feel it is my holy duty to inform you... 1223 01:23:30,844 --> 01:23:35,516 that this man has no money and has no intention of marrying any of you. 1224 01:23:37,726 --> 01:23:39,853 The whole thing was a prank. 1225 01:23:39,937 --> 01:23:42,314 It went a little too far. 1226 01:23:42,356 --> 01:23:45,901 Anyway, if we could clear out the church as quickly as possible... 1227 01:23:45,984 --> 01:23:47,903 we have to make way for a real wedding. 1228 01:23:47,986 --> 01:23:49,905 Go in peace. 1229 01:23:49,988 --> 01:23:53,742 Not true! He's lying, all right? 1230 01:23:53,826 --> 01:23:57,538 Who are we supposed to believe, you or a priest? 1231 01:23:57,621 --> 01:24:00,499 Yeah, what you think? You think you're some kind of comedian? 1232 01:24:00,582 --> 01:24:04,920 Gettin' us all excited and dressed up just so you can slap us in the face? 1233 01:24:05,003 --> 01:24:07,256 I don't think so. Excuse me, baby. 1234 01:24:07,339 --> 01:24:11,135 I don't want to get rowdy up in this church, but I will. 1235 01:24:11,218 --> 01:24:16,557 Now, somebody gettin' married up in here today, and it better be me. 1236 01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:18,851 You're all alike. You lead us on, then won't commit. 1237 01:24:18,892 --> 01:24:21,436 Is that how you get your kicks, playing with women's hopes and dreams? 1238 01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:23,897 Thank God I'm bisexual. 1239 01:24:26,775 --> 01:24:28,402 Here comes the bride! 1240 01:24:28,485 --> 01:24:30,612 Take it easy! Geez! 1241 01:24:34,575 --> 01:24:35,701 Come here! 1242 01:24:35,784 --> 01:24:39,997 I'm wondering, since I wake up in a church full of brides... 1243 01:24:40,038 --> 01:24:42,082 what is my face doing on the front page of the paper? 1244 01:24:42,166 --> 01:24:44,918 - Answer? - Anne's here, or will be! 1245 01:24:45,002 --> 01:24:46,795 Get back, you animals! 1246 01:24:49,965 --> 01:24:53,051 - Her train arrives in 40 minutes! - Cut the crap! 1247 01:24:53,135 --> 01:24:55,929 There's no direct trains from Athens to San Francisco. 1248 01:24:56,013 --> 01:24:59,475 - It's true. - She wants to have dinner with you. 1249 01:24:59,558 --> 01:25:01,477 Dinner? 1250 01:25:03,020 --> 01:25:05,022 From now on we do it my way, all right? Agreed? 1251 01:25:05,105 --> 01:25:07,399 - Agreed! - All right! 1252 01:25:07,441 --> 01:25:12,404 All right. I'm too excited to think! What do we do? 1253 01:25:12,446 --> 01:25:17,826 We obviously can't have a wedding in a church infested with brides. 1254 01:25:17,910 --> 01:25:20,370 Exactly! Can you get to the station? 1255 01:25:20,454 --> 01:25:23,040 - In 40 minutes? - Yes! Thank you. 1256 01:25:23,123 --> 01:25:25,751 Guys, I'm leaving you to take care of this mob. Don't let me down. 1257 01:25:25,834 --> 01:25:27,294 Crazy broads! 1258 01:25:38,055 --> 01:25:40,307 That will be $400. 1259 01:25:40,390 --> 01:25:43,101 I'll give you double if you can have it at the station in half an hour. 1260 01:25:43,185 --> 01:25:45,646 A customer gets what a customer wants. 1261 01:26:14,424 --> 01:26:17,511 Hey! Drop back! 1262 01:26:19,513 --> 01:26:22,808 - Ladies! - Let's get him! 1263 01:26:36,446 --> 01:26:39,366 There he is! 1264 01:26:46,373 --> 01:26:48,167 Stop! 1265 01:26:48,250 --> 01:26:50,210 I'll squash you with my bare hands! 1266 01:26:51,587 --> 01:26:53,839 Take me to the station as fast as you can! 1267 01:26:57,593 --> 01:27:01,138 You'll be delighted to hear we're arriving five minutes early. 1268 01:27:02,639 --> 01:27:04,516 oh, my God. 1269 01:27:06,393 --> 01:27:08,395 You're not gonna like this. 1270 01:27:11,064 --> 01:27:15,777 The northbound City of Seattle is ready for boarding on track number 16. 1271 01:27:15,861 --> 01:27:19,781 Ladies and gentlemen, train 623... 1272 01:27:19,865 --> 01:27:23,202 has arrived at 5:49 on track number two. 1273 01:27:23,285 --> 01:27:27,581 The express in the station at 5:49, track number two. 1274 01:27:52,856 --> 01:27:57,736 Do you have a second? I just gotta say something to you. 1275 01:27:57,778 --> 01:28:00,697 You're not going to propose again, are you? 1276 01:28:00,739 --> 01:28:04,243 You just really wouldn't want to let a girl down for a third time. 1277 01:28:04,326 --> 01:28:07,579 I know, but today I was at the Palace of Fine Arts, all right? 1278 01:28:07,663 --> 01:28:10,916 I was on the lake with this priest. It was really romantic. 1279 01:28:10,958 --> 01:28:13,418 We were there a couple of years ago, remember? 1280 01:28:14,920 --> 01:28:17,798 Suddenly I had this image of your hair going into your eye... 1281 01:28:17,881 --> 01:28:22,261 and I remember I pulled it back and there was this freckle. 1282 01:28:26,765 --> 01:28:28,308 Have you been crying? 1283 01:28:34,648 --> 01:28:35,607 Damn it! 1284 01:28:37,985 --> 01:28:40,612 This has been the worst day of my life. 1285 01:28:40,696 --> 01:28:44,908 You obviously know about the money. What you don't know is that I had to do it. 1286 01:28:44,992 --> 01:28:48,996 I would have been responsible for closing down the whole company. 1287 01:28:49,079 --> 01:28:51,999 I don't even know if you know I'm not married, which I'm not... 1288 01:28:52,082 --> 01:28:54,710 but I want to be. 1289 01:28:56,253 --> 01:28:59,298 - Would you please say something? - Why didn't you tell me? 1290 01:28:59,339 --> 01:29:04,136 I guess I didn't trust you to believe me... 1291 01:29:04,178 --> 01:29:06,513 that I wanted to marry you first... 1292 01:29:06,597 --> 01:29:09,975 and that the money was like a really big wedding gift. 1293 01:29:10,017 --> 01:29:13,729 I've spent the whole night asking every woman in the world to marry me. 1294 01:29:13,812 --> 01:29:15,731 "Every woman"? 1295 01:29:16,815 --> 01:29:18,317 You asked Buckley? 1296 01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:22,196 Every one but the one I want. 1297 01:29:29,411 --> 01:29:33,248 What was that that you were saying about my freckle? 1298 01:29:34,374 --> 01:29:36,335 It's still there. 1299 01:29:37,461 --> 01:29:39,379 If you want to walk away, I understand... 1300 01:29:39,463 --> 01:29:41,173 but I really got to tell you this. 1301 01:29:41,256 --> 01:29:46,094 Today I realized that the only thing really special about me is you. 1302 01:29:47,679 --> 01:29:50,349 I can spend my whole life, scared and alone... 1303 01:29:50,390 --> 01:29:53,018 rowing around with some priest... 1304 01:29:53,060 --> 01:29:55,437 or I could tell you how much I love you... 1305 01:29:55,521 --> 01:29:58,357 that you make me so happy... 1306 01:29:59,399 --> 01:30:03,195 and if it takes our whole married life to make it up to you... 1307 01:30:03,237 --> 01:30:06,114 I would be so honored just to have that chance. 1308 01:30:07,950 --> 01:30:10,702 I just want to be with you. 1309 01:30:10,744 --> 01:30:12,120 oh, my God. 1310 01:30:12,204 --> 01:30:15,457 Now that was a proposal. 1311 01:30:21,922 --> 01:30:25,092 We gotta go. We gotta go. 1312 01:30:26,176 --> 01:30:29,513 Father! Stay with him! 1313 01:30:29,596 --> 01:30:31,557 We'll get Anne! Come on, Roy! 1314 01:30:31,640 --> 01:30:34,560 Yeah, leave it to Abbott and Costello! 1315 01:30:35,602 --> 01:30:36,937 Where'd you get this? 1316 01:30:37,020 --> 01:30:41,066 Some preppy girl threw it over the staircase and ran off with another girl. 1317 01:30:52,953 --> 01:30:54,955 Eleven minutes to spare. Not bad, huh? 1318 01:30:55,038 --> 01:30:57,416 What do you mean? Where's Anne? 1319 01:30:57,457 --> 01:30:59,418 With Natalie, changing. 1320 01:31:12,514 --> 01:31:14,808 You look stunning. 1321 01:31:14,850 --> 01:31:16,310 I do? 1322 01:31:17,853 --> 01:31:21,148 Yeah, okay, maybe you're right. I do. 1323 01:31:21,190 --> 01:31:23,358 Missing you already. 1324 01:31:47,049 --> 01:31:48,342 Come on! 1325 01:31:50,511 --> 01:31:51,887 Where's Jimmie? 1326 01:32:00,771 --> 01:32:04,149 Get back here! Take it like a man! 1327 01:32:10,531 --> 01:32:13,867 Come on! Jiminy Christmas! 1328 01:32:26,588 --> 01:32:29,174 - Where's the priest? - You lost the priest? 1329 01:32:29,216 --> 01:32:31,510 Move it, fat boy! 1330 01:32:36,849 --> 01:32:39,685 Move away from the vehicle. 1331 01:32:41,562 --> 01:32:43,897 Excuse me. 1332 01:32:45,858 --> 01:32:48,902 Dearly beloved, we are gathered today... 1333 01:32:48,986 --> 01:32:51,780 to join two people in holy matrimony. 1334 01:32:51,864 --> 01:32:54,533 If you can hear this, give us a nod. 1335 01:32:54,616 --> 01:32:56,160 Good. 1336 01:32:57,786 --> 01:33:00,539 Anne. Is Anne out there? 1337 01:33:00,581 --> 01:33:02,791 I can't see her! 1338 01:33:07,421 --> 01:33:09,923 I'm right here, Father! 1339 01:33:12,509 --> 01:33:17,473 We are gathered here in the sight of God and the presence of this company... 1340 01:33:17,556 --> 01:33:20,976 to join Jimmie and Anne in holy matrimony. 1341 01:33:27,316 --> 01:33:32,821 The union of husband and... Never mind. 1342 01:33:33,697 --> 01:33:35,616 Do you take this Anne to have and to hold? 1343 01:33:36,658 --> 01:33:38,118 For richer, for poorer? 1344 01:33:38,202 --> 01:33:40,579 In sickness and in health, forsaking all others... 1345 01:33:40,662 --> 01:33:42,247 as long as you both shall live? 1346 01:33:48,128 --> 01:33:50,214 I do. 1347 01:33:50,297 --> 01:33:51,465 I do! 1348 01:33:52,424 --> 01:33:54,593 I thought you would. 1349 01:33:54,635 --> 01:33:56,970 Do you take this Jimmie to have and to hold? 1350 01:33:57,054 --> 01:33:59,014 For better or for worse? 1351 01:33:59,097 --> 01:34:00,641 For richer, for poorer? 1352 01:34:00,724 --> 01:34:03,560 In sickness and in health, forsaking all others... 1353 01:34:03,644 --> 01:34:05,854 - Excuse me. - for as long as you both shall live? 1354 01:34:05,938 --> 01:34:08,106 I do! 1355 01:34:14,988 --> 01:34:16,782 I do. 1356 01:34:16,824 --> 01:34:19,785 - Anne, I can't hear you! - I do! 1357 01:34:21,662 --> 01:34:23,747 Shut up! 1358 01:34:35,425 --> 01:34:38,554 oh, my gosh. How beautiful. 1359 01:34:38,637 --> 01:34:40,556 oh, how beautiful. 1360 01:34:42,015 --> 01:34:46,854 Listen, can I talk to you for just a second? 1361 01:34:48,689 --> 01:34:54,528 I've been proposed to really badly a lot... 1362 01:34:54,611 --> 01:34:57,656 and then proposed to... 1363 01:34:57,739 --> 01:35:00,826 pretty great, actually. 1364 01:35:01,743 --> 01:35:04,496 And, well, Jimmie... 1365 01:35:04,538 --> 01:35:06,498 he's not perfect... 1366 01:35:06,540 --> 01:35:09,626 but I love him. 1367 01:35:09,710 --> 01:35:12,004 And, well, he loves me. 1368 01:35:13,297 --> 01:35:17,468 So I think that he should be my husband. 1369 01:35:22,723 --> 01:35:24,683 There's my cake. 1370 01:35:29,188 --> 01:35:31,899 So could this... 1371 01:35:31,982 --> 01:35:34,943 Could this please be my day? 1372 01:35:45,871 --> 01:35:50,542 And now, by the power vested in me by God... 1373 01:35:50,584 --> 01:35:53,545 I pronounce you husband and wife. 1374 01:36:06,600 --> 01:36:09,061 Cake for everybody! Who wants cake? 1375 01:36:09,102 --> 01:36:11,063 Here you go, sweetheart. Have some cake. 1376 01:36:11,104 --> 01:36:12,648 There we go. Here we go. 1377 01:36:12,731 --> 01:36:14,733 Here you go, sweetheart. Have some cake. 1378 01:36:22,991 --> 01:36:25,744 Throw the bouquet! Throw the bouquet! 1379 01:36:25,786 --> 01:36:28,080 Throw it! 103878

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.