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Growing up, there was nothing better
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00:00:01,732 --> 00:00:02,885
than the school field trip,
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00:00:02,938 --> 00:00:04,865
that rare opportunity
to skip your classes
4
00:00:05,025 --> 00:00:06,201
and head out on an adventure.
5
00:00:06,372 --> 00:00:08,417
Yep, field trips were the best.
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00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:10,553
Boofaloo, come play I Spy!
7
00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:13,122
Unfortunately, my
smother was always there.
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00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,590
I spy a handsome schmendrick
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00:00:14,659 --> 00:00:17,026
I'm gonna squeeze all the
way to the Liberty Bell!
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00:00:17,128 --> 00:00:19,361
And this time, our trip
was low on education
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00:00:19,430 --> 00:00:20,763
and high on fun!
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00:00:20,865 --> 00:00:22,898
We were going to Hersheypark!
13
00:00:22,967 --> 00:00:25,501
I can't believe we're finally
going to Hershey, Pennsylvania!
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00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:27,636
I hear the air there
smells like chocolate!
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00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:29,772
I hear the streets
are paved with nougat!
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00:00:29,841 --> 00:00:32,474
When you're over five feet tall,
you're considered a Twizzler.
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00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:34,243
It means we can go on any ride.
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00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:36,078
Well, we can go on any ride.
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00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,513
Your mom always chaperones
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00:00:37,582 --> 00:00:38,848
and there's no way she'll let you loose
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00:00:38,916 --> 00:00:40,416
into Chocolate Town USA without her.
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00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:41,450
It's your own fault, dude.
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00:00:41,552 --> 00:00:42,718
The rest of us forced our parents
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00:00:42,787 --> 00:00:44,286
to stop chaperoning years ago.
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00:00:44,355 --> 00:00:45,821
Yeah, all you got to do is lay down
26
00:00:45,923 --> 00:00:47,356
some clear boundaries with your mom.
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00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:50,526
Oh. Uh, oh, is that all I got to do? Huh.
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00:00:50,595 --> 00:00:53,863
I didn't know it was so easy!
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00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,865
Thank you, Clueless Chad!
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00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:57,399
You get mean when it involves your mom.
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00:00:57,468 --> 00:00:58,901
My mom needs these field trips.
It's the only school opportunity
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00:01:01,305 --> 00:01:02,905
she has left to painfully
insert herself into my life.
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00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:04,840
Well, I told my mom, "No more!
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00:01:04,942 --> 00:01:06,041
Dave Kim is a grown-up
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00:01:06,143 --> 00:01:08,177
who doesn't need his
mommy on some field trip!
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00:01:08,246 --> 00:01:10,613
Now sign my permission slip
and lay out my clothes!"
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That would never work for Adam.
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00:01:12,016 --> 00:01:13,716
All I know is that this ends today!
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00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:16,585
I've waited my whole life to
eat eight pounds of chocolate,
40
00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:19,722
then ride crazy roller
coasters till I hork.
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00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:22,591
I'm an adult man now and
shall not be controlled.
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00:01:22,693 --> 00:01:25,527
It's time I finally
face Beverly Goldberg
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00:01:25,596 --> 00:01:26,562
once and for all!
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00:01:27,665 --> 00:01:28,731
You're gonna lie to her, aren't you?
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Right to her face!
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What?!
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Hersheypark has been
closed and our trip is off!
48
00:01:33,704 --> 00:01:36,205
Why are they trying to ruin
our precious time together?!
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00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:37,673
'Cause of the Chocolate Wars.
50
00:01:37,742 --> 00:01:39,008
You didn't hear about it on the news?
51
00:01:39,110 --> 00:01:40,342
No, I don't watch the news.
52
00:01:40,411 --> 00:01:42,745
It aggravates your father until
he throws his shoe at the TV.
53
00:01:42,813 --> 00:01:45,180
It's those Fudge Barons
at Nestle Megacorp.
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00:01:45,249 --> 00:01:47,516
They declared an all-out
war on Mr. Goodbar
55
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,051
so they shut down the amusement park.
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00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,886
Screw those Chocolate War-Mongers!
57
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:54,523
I just made a fresh batch
of Oooey Gooey Fudgy Chewies.
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00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,592
These always cheer you up.
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00:01:57,795 --> 00:01:59,561
Wow. He's good.
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00:02:00,798 --> 00:02:01,830
Maybe the best.
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00:02:01,933 --> 00:02:05,601
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ♪
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Synced and Corrected by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ♪
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It was October 17th, 1980-something,
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the night of the annual Career Fair
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00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:22,151
at William Penn Academy...
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00:02:22,253 --> 00:02:24,520
Hello, everyone, and
welcome to Career Night.
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00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,555
No-one-cares!
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00:02:26,657 --> 00:02:29,358
Okay, well, the joke's on
you, mysterious cougher.
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00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:31,126
The path that you choose tonight
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00:02:31,228 --> 00:02:33,929
will determine the rest of your lives.
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00:02:34,031 --> 00:02:35,331
Rest of our lives? Oh, man.
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00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:36,632
That sounds pretty permanent.
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00:02:36,734 --> 00:02:37,700
Lucky for you, you have
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00:02:37,802 --> 00:02:39,368
your old man's noble profession
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00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:40,502
of ophthalmology
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pre-selected for you.
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00:02:41,939 --> 00:02:43,205
You're so lucky!
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00:02:43,307 --> 00:02:44,740
I have tons of questions
about doctoring,
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00:02:44,842 --> 00:02:46,308
Mister Dr. Geoff's Dad!
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00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,911
Okay, I see how passionate
you are about medicine.
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00:02:49,013 --> 00:02:51,080
Come by the office and
see for yourself what I do.
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00:02:51,182 --> 00:02:53,816
I call eyeball holder when
you do a head transplant!
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00:02:53,918 --> 00:02:55,117
Boom!
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00:02:55,219 --> 00:02:56,418
I know that's not real science,
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00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,120
but I'm still gonna take a walk.
89
00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:00,489
How's it going?
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00:03:00,591 --> 00:03:02,358
Well, my "rock star"
booth is an obvious sham,
91
00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:03,859
but I'm broke and they got free food,
92
00:03:03,961 --> 00:03:05,361
so goin' good. You?
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00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:07,830
Well, my dad's pushing me into
the eyeball game, so... gross?
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00:03:07,932 --> 00:03:08,998
Dude, you're at a career night.
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00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,666
If eye doctoring
skeeves you out so much,
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00:03:10,768 --> 00:03:11,934
then go find another job.
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00:03:12,036 --> 00:03:13,102
What? No.
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00:03:13,204 --> 00:03:15,704
I love the human eye,
all squishy with its veins
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00:03:15,806 --> 00:03:17,539
and mysterious, disgusting rings.
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00:03:17,641 --> 00:03:19,041
- Are you gonna hurl?
- I might.
101
00:03:19,143 --> 00:03:21,143
- Hey, you!
- Me?
102
00:03:21,245 --> 00:03:24,313
Yeah, you! The kid who ate
my corn on the cob. Come here!
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00:03:24,415 --> 00:03:25,914
That was one time two years ago.
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00:03:26,017 --> 00:03:27,816
How is that the only thing
he remembers about me?
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00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,018
He really likes his corn.
106
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,786
Why is your dad even at a school event?
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00:03:30,888 --> 00:03:33,088
He finds a few idiots to
move heavy crap for free
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00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,690
and then he calls them interns.
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00:03:36,127 --> 00:03:38,594
Hey, niblets. How would
you feel about interning
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00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,730
in the exciting world of new
and recycled furniture sales?
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00:03:41,832 --> 00:03:42,865
Um, maybe I guess.
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You're hired.
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00:03:44,135 --> 00:03:45,801
And by hired, I don't mean
I'm actually paying you.
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00:03:45,903 --> 00:03:47,336
Geoff! Get back to the booth!
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00:03:47,438 --> 00:03:49,371
This young man's being
very disrespectful
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to my anatomical eye models.
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00:03:51,442 --> 00:03:54,109
Check it out, I'm putting
a giant eye in my pants!
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Chaperones, we'll meet here
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00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:57,980
at 8:00 A.M. sharp
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00:03:58,082 --> 00:03:59,148
to hit the Hershey Highway
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00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:00,582
before it clogs up.
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00:04:00,684 --> 00:04:02,518
All right, grow up.
123
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,253
What the hell, ladies and Vinny?
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00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:05,788
What happened to our PTA meeting?
125
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:07,122
We got bumped.
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00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:09,358
Mellor's talking to all
the field trip chaperones.
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00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,360
Field trip? Doesn't he
know the amusement park
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00:04:11,462 --> 00:04:12,694
is closed indefinitely?
129
00:04:12,797 --> 00:04:14,329
What? The park is closed?
130
00:04:14,432 --> 00:04:17,332
Hello? Nestle pulled
out of the Cocoa Accords.
131
00:04:17,435 --> 00:04:18,634
There's been a travel advisory.
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00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:21,270
All non-essential
personnel must steer clear.
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00:04:21,372 --> 00:04:24,740
Uh, Beverly? None of your
insane words are true.
134
00:04:24,842 --> 00:04:25,908
But that's not possible.
135
00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:27,476
Adam swore to me that Reese's
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00:04:27,578 --> 00:04:29,244
was literally blown to pieces.
137
00:04:29,346 --> 00:04:31,447
Exactly. You're the
last person in the world
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00:04:31,549 --> 00:04:32,781
he wants on a field trip.
139
00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,216
But chaperoning is the one thing
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00:04:34,318 --> 00:04:35,951
I'm still allowed to be a part of!
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00:04:36,053 --> 00:04:38,120
Just feel lucky you made
it to 10th grade, Bev.
142
00:04:38,222 --> 00:04:40,322
Jackie cut me off in 8th grade.
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00:04:40,424 --> 00:04:41,390
Independence Hall.
144
00:04:41,492 --> 00:04:42,758
6th grade, Freedom Trail.
145
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:44,726
5th grade. Ben Franklin Museum.
146
00:04:44,829 --> 00:04:46,395
Dave Kim told me to go fly a kite.
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00:04:46,497 --> 00:04:49,398
For me it was 3rd grade.
My Emmy is garbage.
148
00:04:49,467 --> 00:04:51,300
But those field trips are my only window
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00:04:51,402 --> 00:04:52,968
into Adam's day-to-day life.
150
00:04:53,070 --> 00:04:54,837
Without them, how am I supposed to know
151
00:04:54,939 --> 00:04:56,138
how he's doing in school?
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00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,207
You could just ask
him when he comes home?
153
00:04:58,275 --> 00:05:01,710
Please. Whenever I ask about
his day, all I get is "Muh."
154
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,445
Aw, you get actual sounds?
155
00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:05,380
I just get soul-destroying silence.
156
00:05:05,449 --> 00:05:08,150
Well, you may all be fine
with a frosty cold "muh"
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00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:11,220
at the end of your day,
but not Beverly Goldberg.
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00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:13,288
Coach, put me down for chaperone.
159
00:05:13,357 --> 00:05:14,756
But your son made it
clear you're the worst
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00:05:14,859 --> 00:05:16,024
and you can't go.
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00:05:16,093 --> 00:05:18,360
Lucky for me, I have a
way to get Adam to say yes
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to whatever I want.
163
00:05:20,431 --> 00:05:22,431
It was true. She really did.
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00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,932
Before parents could guilt their kids
165
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,067
through texts or e-mails,
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00:05:25,136 --> 00:05:27,569
my mom used the Guilt Letter.
167
00:05:27,638 --> 00:05:29,505
These passive-aggressive
tirades of manipulation
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00:05:29,573 --> 00:05:30,973
were a true art form.
169
00:05:34,178 --> 00:05:35,878
And if her words didn't get to you,
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00:05:35,946 --> 00:05:38,881
the mom tears on the letter sure would.
171
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Balls!
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00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,052
I got to admit it, Cobby,
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00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:46,388
you're the best pretend
intern I've had yet.
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00:05:46,457 --> 00:05:48,223
I didn't realize how cool
it was to run a business.
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00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,692
What do you mean? Your dad runs
a whole eye doctoring business.
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00:05:50,794 --> 00:05:52,494
Yeah, but in our
business, if we mess up,
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00:05:52,596 --> 00:05:54,696
people will never see
their children again.
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00:05:54,765 --> 00:05:56,465
The worst I can do around
here is stain a loveseat.
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00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,033
Look, I don't want to get involved
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00:05:58,135 --> 00:05:59,401
between you and your old man,
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00:05:59,503 --> 00:06:01,136
mostly 'cause I don't care,
182
00:06:01,238 --> 00:06:04,439
but if eyes freak you
out, I wouldn't do eyes.
183
00:06:04,508 --> 00:06:06,542
What would I do with my
life if not eye doctoring?
184
00:06:06,644 --> 00:06:09,545
I'm not involved, but
do what makes you happy
185
00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:11,513
instead of being such
a pushover all the time.
186
00:06:11,582 --> 00:06:13,448
I know you're not
involved, but, oh, man,
187
00:06:13,517 --> 00:06:15,017
I'm suddenly rethinking
my entire future!
188
00:06:15,119 --> 00:06:16,585
Well, why don't you think
about it while you bring
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00:06:16,687 --> 00:06:18,420
that heavy-ass end
table to the back room?
190
00:06:20,624 --> 00:06:22,291
Okay, you can take your son back now!
191
00:06:22,393 --> 00:06:23,959
He's been shadowing me all day.
192
00:06:24,028 --> 00:06:25,694
In fact, I learned so much,
193
00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:27,596
Dr. Lou said I don't
have to go back tomorrow!
194
00:06:27,698 --> 00:06:29,665
Or ever again. We'll play it by ear.
195
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:31,366
Oh, crap, it's my dad. Hello, Father.
196
00:06:31,468 --> 00:06:32,534
Geoffrey? Where were you all day?
197
00:06:32,636 --> 00:06:33,702
There was an outbreak of pink eye.
198
00:06:33,771 --> 00:06:34,736
So gunky, bro.
199
00:06:34,838 --> 00:06:36,471
Ew, bummed I missed it. Ew.
200
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:39,474
Uh, I was learning about furniture here.
201
00:06:39,543 --> 00:06:42,511
You spent the day learning
another man's trade?
202
00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:44,279
Murray, how could you
betray me like this?
203
00:06:44,348 --> 00:06:45,914
No betrayal. I'm not involved.
204
00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:47,316
Son, the only business you need to know
205
00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:48,784
is the one I'm handing to you.
206
00:06:48,852 --> 00:06:51,820
But Mr. G got me thinking that
maybe I don't want it, right?
207
00:06:51,922 --> 00:06:52,988
Not involved.
208
00:06:53,057 --> 00:06:55,157
Don't want it? What's
he talking about, Murray?
209
00:06:55,226 --> 00:06:57,159
Look, all I know is this
wonderful mentor of mine...
210
00:06:57,261 --> 00:06:58,193
Notvolvd!
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00:06:58,262 --> 00:06:59,461
...told me to stick up for myself.
212
00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,063
- So, I'll just say it.
- Not involved!
213
00:07:01,131 --> 00:07:03,332
I hereby reject all
professional doctoring
214
00:07:03,434 --> 00:07:04,466
and modern medicine.
215
00:07:04,535 --> 00:07:06,134
So what are you gonna do with your life?
216
00:07:06,203 --> 00:07:07,869
This? Furniture sales?
217
00:07:07,972 --> 00:07:08,870
Notvolvd!
218
00:07:08,939 --> 00:07:10,973
I'd rather do anything than eyes!
219
00:07:11,075 --> 00:07:12,841
Maybe I'll do computers or fitness
220
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,611
or maybe I'll just start my
own food delivery service!
221
00:07:15,713 --> 00:07:17,412
He wants to do food delivery
222
00:07:17,514 --> 00:07:19,314
instead of helping people see, Murray?
223
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:20,916
Notvolvd! Come on!
224
00:07:21,018 --> 00:07:23,619
Yep, all my dad wanted was to
stay out of Geoff's business.
225
00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:26,388
Meanwhile, my mom had
successfully guilted her way
226
00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:27,589
back into mine.
227
00:07:27,658 --> 00:07:28,657
Hi, Mama.
228
00:07:28,759 --> 00:07:31,326
I just wanted to say sorry and all.
229
00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:33,395
- For?
- For being a bad son
230
00:07:33,497 --> 00:07:35,864
and not appreciating the time you spent
231
00:07:35,966 --> 00:07:37,366
baking me in your belly.
232
00:07:37,434 --> 00:07:39,134
And how will you make it up to me?
233
00:07:39,203 --> 00:07:40,702
Maybe you can chaperone the field trip?
234
00:07:40,804 --> 00:07:43,605
I'll have to move some things
around, but I'll be there.
235
00:07:43,674 --> 00:07:45,574
Now go. Be a boy!
236
00:07:45,676 --> 00:07:47,643
My mom had guilted me into submission,
237
00:07:47,745 --> 00:07:50,112
but even better, she
impressed her friends.
238
00:07:50,214 --> 00:07:52,014
I don't understand. How?
239
00:07:52,116 --> 00:07:53,282
I can't tell you that.
240
00:07:53,384 --> 00:07:55,517
So you get to participate
in Adam's school life
241
00:07:55,619 --> 00:07:56,785
as he frolics about with friends
242
00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:58,687
while the rest of us
stay home and suck it?
243
00:07:58,789 --> 00:08:00,055
I'm sorry, Dave Kim's mom.
244
00:08:00,157 --> 00:08:02,457
I just can't risk something
this huge getting out.
245
00:08:02,559 --> 00:08:03,959
I give you my word as a parent
246
00:08:04,061 --> 00:08:06,161
and as an esteemed kindergarten teacher.
247
00:08:06,263 --> 00:08:07,929
I will say nothing.
248
00:08:08,032 --> 00:08:08,930
- Same here!
- Ditto.
249
00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:10,299
Agreed.
250
00:08:10,401 --> 00:08:12,701
Meet me in my basement at 1600 hours.
251
00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:14,736
Take separate cars, don't
let anyone follow you,
252
00:08:14,838 --> 00:08:16,972
and do not park on our street.
253
00:08:17,074 --> 00:08:18,040
You're about to learn
254
00:08:18,142 --> 00:08:20,375
Beverly Goldberg's biggest secret.
255
00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:23,812
Hey! Why you guys looking
all shady right now?
256
00:08:23,914 --> 00:08:24,980
- Nothing!
- No big secrets here.
257
00:08:25,082 --> 00:08:26,348
- We're normal.
- All good.
258
00:08:27,351 --> 00:08:29,318
Carry on.
259
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,156
The time had come for my mom
260
00:08:32,364 --> 00:08:34,360
to teach her fellow
parents a master class
261
00:08:34,499 --> 00:08:35,917
in the art of manipulation.
262
00:08:36,006 --> 00:08:38,707
What I'm about to show
you is the most lethal
263
00:08:38,776 --> 00:08:41,677
and powerful weapon
in a yenta's arsenal.
264
00:08:41,745 --> 00:08:43,645
The guilt letter.
265
00:08:43,714 --> 00:08:45,147
You wrote eight pages on both sides?
266
00:08:45,249 --> 00:08:46,348
Yes.
267
00:08:46,417 --> 00:08:48,417
Everything you're about
to hear has been written
268
00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:51,987
by Beverly Goldberg and
sent to her children.
269
00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,255
This is all real.
270
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,791
"Adam, I gave birth to
you, fed and nurtured you,
271
00:08:55,859 --> 00:08:58,527
dried your tears, and made
you the center of my universe.
272
00:08:58,596 --> 00:09:01,463
But the way you treated me
today makes me regret it all."
273
00:09:01,532 --> 00:09:03,165
Wait, you really wrote this?
274
00:09:03,234 --> 00:09:05,701
Again, every word is 100% true.
275
00:09:05,769 --> 00:09:08,503
"I don't know another
human being on this earth
276
00:09:08,572 --> 00:09:10,472
who would treat their
parent this way,
277
00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:12,674
especially four weeks
before Mother's Day."
278
00:09:12,743 --> 00:09:14,843
That's how you started an actual letter?
279
00:09:14,912 --> 00:09:16,979
Oh, sweet, stupid Vincent Geary.
280
00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:18,880
The opening is everything.
281
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,716
I call it the "Guilt Grabber."
282
00:09:20,784 --> 00:09:22,184
Oh, I got to write this down.
283
00:09:22,286 --> 00:09:24,686
Wait. You can't just copy what I say.
284
00:09:24,788 --> 00:09:26,221
Once I teach you the basic structure,
285
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:28,223
you have to find your
own spiteful voice.
286
00:09:28,325 --> 00:09:29,524
You have a whole structure?
287
00:09:29,593 --> 00:09:30,892
Of course I do.
288
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:33,328
Now, after the guilt grabber,
289
00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:36,098
you deliver your emotionally
devastating thesis,
290
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,699
wherein you single them out
291
00:09:37,735 --> 00:09:40,602
as the most ungrateful child
the world has ever known.
292
00:09:40,671 --> 00:09:43,538
"Not only am I ashamed to
have such a cruel, selfish son,
293
00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:44,806
but I may never sleep again
294
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,875
knowing how I failed as a mother."
295
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,543
My God, who writes this?
296
00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:50,345
Literally me, no joke.
297
00:09:50,447 --> 00:09:52,014
Next comes the body of the letter,
298
00:09:52,082 --> 00:09:55,117
in which you present the
many hurtful specifics
299
00:09:55,185 --> 00:09:58,620
that demonstrate how much
you've sacrificed for your baby.
300
00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:01,056
"I haven't slept since you were born
301
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:02,557
and gave my whole life to you.
302
00:10:02,626 --> 00:10:04,693
Not once did I focus on myself.
303
00:10:04,795 --> 00:10:05,961
I could have been a lawyer!"
304
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,464
Again, something I actually
wrote to my children.
305
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:11,366
Finally, we have the closer,
306
00:10:11,435 --> 00:10:13,869
where you remind your children
that they, and they alone,
307
00:10:13,937 --> 00:10:15,871
are responsible for your early demise.
308
00:10:15,939 --> 00:10:18,307
- Wow.
- I know, Serry Mirsky.
309
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,709
You finally have the tool to shame Emmy
310
00:10:20,778 --> 00:10:23,779
into being perfect like class
valedictorian Aliza Goren.
311
00:10:23,847 --> 00:10:26,214
She'll never be Aliza Goren.
312
00:10:26,283 --> 00:10:29,084
Beverly, these crazy guilt
letters are a game-changer.
313
00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:31,353
Thank you for this
amazing, hateful gift.
314
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,322
You truly are a genius of our time.
315
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:35,657
It's so nice to finally be recognized.
316
00:10:37,361 --> 00:10:39,695
Quick, give me your paper.
Let's not waste these.
317
00:10:40,998 --> 00:10:42,597
Your father ruined my son.
318
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:43,932
This morning, Geoffrey said
319
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,368
he wanted to go to a liberal
arts college like Vassar
320
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,936
where he can find himself.
321
00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:50,505
But you've mapped out the
next 10 years of his life,
322
00:10:50,574 --> 00:10:52,908
which ends in him taking
over your thriving practice.
323
00:10:52,976 --> 00:10:54,876
All I ever wanted was
an apprentice who cares,
324
00:10:54,978 --> 00:10:56,144
but now there's no one.
325
00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:58,046
Geoff is as blind as a patient
326
00:10:58,148 --> 00:10:59,948
who needs a penetrating keratoplasty.
327
00:11:00,017 --> 00:11:02,517
I know. You rearranged
the entire filing system,
328
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:04,820
and my apprentice wasn't
even here to see that.
329
00:11:04,888 --> 00:11:06,288
This is worse than
that one patient who had
330
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,090
the viral eye infection of the retina.
331
00:11:08,158 --> 00:11:09,891
Which I missed and you pointed out.
332
00:11:09,993 --> 00:11:11,026
Thanks for that, by the way.
333
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,728
Enough is enough!
334
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:15,063
You need an apprentice.
This is shameful.
335
00:11:15,165 --> 00:11:16,431
I want the old Geoff back!
336
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:17,799
And you'll get him back!
337
00:11:17,901 --> 00:11:19,868
As leader of the JTP,
338
00:11:19,937 --> 00:11:23,071
he has to do exactly what I say.
339
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,507
You will do exactly
what I say, Schwartz.
340
00:11:25,609 --> 00:11:27,576
- No.
- No?!
341
00:11:27,678 --> 00:11:28,910
Since when does he say no?
342
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,046
Since I'm done being
the doormat of the JTP.
343
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:32,614
But that's your role.
344
00:11:32,716 --> 00:11:35,350
Each friendship group
has a doormat, a leader,
345
00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:38,453
a Naked One, a tiny pocket
man, and a lame Matt Bradley!
346
00:11:38,522 --> 00:11:40,522
Well, I'm done being the doormat.
347
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:44,526
I hereby change the structure
of the JTP as we know it.
348
00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:46,094
You can't change that!
349
00:11:46,196 --> 00:11:47,462
It's the structure of friendship!
350
00:11:47,564 --> 00:11:49,431
Oh, it's changed but good.
351
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,032
And as the new leader of the JTP,
352
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:52,701
I demand a piece of your Gator Gum.
353
00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:54,603
There's only one man
here who needs Gatorade
354
00:11:54,705 --> 00:11:56,938
magically injected into
their gum and it's me.
355
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:01,910
Oh, dang. Geoff just swiped
some of Barry's Gator Gum.
356
00:12:01,979 --> 00:12:03,812
Oh, the Gator Gum is totally replacing
357
00:12:03,881 --> 00:12:06,281
the vital salts and
minerals in Geoff's legs.
358
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,583
No! Stop hydrating with my Gator Gum!
359
00:12:08,685 --> 00:12:09,985
Those are my electrolytes!
360
00:12:10,053 --> 00:12:12,187
Dude, he just quenched his
thirst with Barry's Gator Gum.
361
00:12:12,256 --> 00:12:14,122
- Geoff is our clear leader now.
- Damn right I am.
362
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,624
I'm so freakin' fired up right now.
363
00:12:15,726 --> 00:12:17,626
I'm gonna cut science class
and go run around the park.
364
00:12:17,728 --> 00:12:19,361
With no clear objective?
365
00:12:19,463 --> 00:12:20,695
That's crazy, dude.
366
00:12:20,798 --> 00:12:22,464
No. It's new Geoff.
367
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:25,767
- JTP!
- JTP!
368
00:12:25,836 --> 00:12:27,135
New Geoff is exciting.
369
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,771
Yeah, man. That science lab
was, like, 30% of our grade,
370
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,406
but new Geoff don't care.
371
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:33,241
And this is an act of war.
372
00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:35,444
It's time I unleash my sister.
373
00:12:37,881 --> 00:12:38,747
Hey, I wanted to...
374
00:12:38,849 --> 00:12:40,282
- Barry sent you, didn't he?
- Wow, yeah.
375
00:12:40,350 --> 00:12:42,150
He charged into the kitchen
all sweaty and angry,
376
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,952
and I said I would come in
here just to get rid of him.
377
00:12:44,021 --> 00:12:45,654
Okay, well, why don't you go tell Barry
378
00:12:45,756 --> 00:12:46,988
that new Geoff is here to stay.
379
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,257
Okay, I'm really not in the
loop, so what's happening here?
380
00:12:49,326 --> 00:12:51,860
What's happening is the new
me refuses to be bossed around
381
00:12:51,929 --> 00:12:54,796
by his dad, his friends,
and quite frankly, you!
382
00:12:54,865 --> 00:12:56,264
Me? I'm part of this now?
383
00:12:56,366 --> 00:12:58,066
Yeah. I'm tired of
folding your sweaters.
384
00:12:58,135 --> 00:12:59,634
But I thought you liked the folding.
385
00:12:59,703 --> 00:13:01,203
Does this answer your question?
386
00:13:05,943 --> 00:13:07,108
No-go. I like new Geoff.
387
00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,410
You like new Geoff?
388
00:13:08,479 --> 00:13:10,245
New Geoff is hot. Good luck to you both.
389
00:13:10,347 --> 00:13:11,847
As new Geoff wasn't backing down,
390
00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:14,182
our bus full of kids and lame chaperones
391
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,884
was pulling up to Hersheypark.
392
00:13:15,986 --> 00:13:18,653
Oh, you know what those
chocolate kiss street lamps mean.
393
00:13:18,722 --> 00:13:20,188
We're here!
394
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,624
It was a brutal start.
But once the bus parked,
395
00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:24,626
we were free to explore Chocolate World
396
00:13:24,728 --> 00:13:25,994
without our lame-ass par...
397
00:13:26,063 --> 00:13:28,029
Oh, balls! They're back again!
398
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:29,097
I don't get it.
399
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:30,332
You all said you cut your parents off
400
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,766
from chaperoning ages ago.
401
00:13:31,835 --> 00:13:33,835
I did, but last night my mom wrote me
402
00:13:33,904 --> 00:13:36,238
this heartbreaking eight-page
letter, and I caved.
403
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:39,407
Same here. My dad even
circled his tears on the paper.
404
00:13:39,476 --> 00:13:40,775
My mom did the same thing.
405
00:13:40,844 --> 00:13:41,910
Listen to this.
406
00:13:41,979 --> 00:13:44,579
And when I literally die
from the disappointment,
407
00:13:44,648 --> 00:13:45,581
please do not
408
00:13:45,582 --> 00:13:46,582
- visit my grave site.
- ...visit my grave site.
409
00:13:47,751 --> 00:13:49,384
Lemme see those letters.
410
00:13:49,486 --> 00:13:50,485
Look.
411
00:13:50,587 --> 00:13:52,020
They're all the same.
412
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:55,090
See? My mom also has a hole
in her heart the shape of me.
413
00:13:55,192 --> 00:13:57,158
My mom has that same kid-shaped hole!
414
00:13:57,261 --> 00:13:59,728
This can only be the work of one woman,
415
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:01,263
Beverly Goldberg.
416
00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:02,864
What are we gonna do, man?
417
00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:04,833
I can't ever read another one of these.
418
00:14:04,902 --> 00:14:06,902
I cried in my mom's bosom.
419
00:14:07,004 --> 00:14:08,136
Her bosom!
420
00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:09,571
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
421
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,673
We're gonna rise up
against this reign of guilt
422
00:14:11,775 --> 00:14:13,375
and take back what is ours.
423
00:14:13,443 --> 00:14:14,376
Chocolatier!
424
00:14:14,444 --> 00:14:16,545
We need chocolate-scented
stationery STAT!
425
00:14:16,613 --> 00:14:18,813
Time to give our parents
a taste of their own guilt.
426
00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:25,654
Alright, hit the showers or
generously spray on deodorant.
427
00:14:25,722 --> 00:14:27,856
Schwartz, got a bunch of
scoop balls that need scooping,
428
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:28,857
so have at it.
429
00:14:28,926 --> 00:14:30,659
- Nah, man. I'm good.
- Excuse me?
430
00:14:30,727 --> 00:14:32,127
I'm tired of being Mr. Pushover
431
00:14:32,195 --> 00:14:34,162
who always scoops the
scoop balls after class.
432
00:14:34,231 --> 00:14:36,298
As leader of the JTP,
I say Andy does it.
433
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,466
Hey! He's not the leader of the JTP.
434
00:14:38,535 --> 00:14:39,634
You don't have to do that, Andy.
435
00:14:39,736 --> 00:14:41,102
But Geoff said I should.
436
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,871
Well, I say Geoff
scoops the scoop balls!
437
00:14:42,973 --> 00:14:44,005
You scoop the scoop balls!
438
00:14:44,074 --> 00:14:45,273
I'm not scooping no scoop balls!
439
00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:46,675
Somebody scoop the scoop balls.
440
00:14:46,743 --> 00:14:48,076
I'll scoop the scoop balls, okay?
441
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,145
Don't you dare scoop
the scoop balls, Matthew!
442
00:14:50,247 --> 00:14:52,514
Fine! You'll all scoop the scoop balls!
443
00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:53,949
Or better yet, [bleep],
444
00:14:54,051 --> 00:14:55,850
why don't you scoop my [bleep]?
445
00:14:58,088 --> 00:15:00,322
Never in all my years
in the gymanatorial arts
446
00:15:00,424 --> 00:15:02,424
have I ever been so
blatantly disrespected.
447
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,492
I expected more from you, Mr. Schwartz.
448
00:15:04,595 --> 00:15:06,861
Anything to say before
I decide your punishment?
449
00:15:06,964 --> 00:15:09,164
Yeah. Why am I here?
450
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:11,132
The kid's got his own dad. Call him.
451
00:15:11,234 --> 00:15:13,034
Yeah, but he's busy,
and he'll be so mad.
452
00:15:13,136 --> 00:15:14,869
But I'm busy and I'm mad.
453
00:15:14,972 --> 00:15:17,005
You're mad? My jaw is
seizing up with anger.
454
00:15:17,107 --> 00:15:19,007
Dang it, Rick. You got
to chew some Gator Gum
455
00:15:19,109 --> 00:15:21,142
like a grown man and calm the heck down.
456
00:15:21,244 --> 00:15:22,010
Follow me.
457
00:15:22,112 --> 00:15:23,011
Oh, geez.
458
00:15:23,113 --> 00:15:24,579
What the hell's wrong with you?
459
00:15:24,681 --> 00:15:27,315
Look, you're the one who
set me on this new path.
460
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,985
We both agreed I'm not
involved in any of this.
461
00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:32,354
Just saying you're not involved
doesn't make you not involved.
462
00:15:32,422 --> 00:15:34,990
Look, I got my own idiot
kids to worry about.
463
00:15:35,092 --> 00:15:38,360
And you, you got a great dad
who wants you to be a doctor.
464
00:15:38,462 --> 00:15:40,562
You're the only one who let me be me,
465
00:15:40,664 --> 00:15:42,597
and now even you're taking it back.
466
00:15:42,699 --> 00:15:44,366
Thanks for nothing.
467
00:15:46,549 --> 00:15:48,621
It was time for us to
take some sweet revenge
468
00:15:48,784 --> 00:15:50,069
on our chaperone parents.
469
00:15:50,594 --> 00:15:52,361
- Sup.
- Sup yourselves.
470
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:55,831
Uh, it is our job as chaperones
to make sure you stay safe,
471
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:58,100
and that extends to sugar consumption.
472
00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,968
Then it's a good thing
we no longer accept you
473
00:16:00,037 --> 00:16:01,136
as school chaperones.
474
00:16:01,205 --> 00:16:04,239
"Mother, I have clearly
failed as a son."
475
00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:06,275
- What the hell is this?
- It's a guilt letter,
476
00:16:06,343 --> 00:16:07,976
like the ones you taught
your friends to write.
477
00:16:08,078 --> 00:16:09,344
- They know!
- You know?
478
00:16:09,413 --> 00:16:11,280
- We all know.
- Chad Hayward Kremp, please.
479
00:16:11,382 --> 00:16:13,081
Think of me lying in my grave site.
480
00:16:13,183 --> 00:16:14,983
That's my line.
481
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,519
What she said, but for
me in my grave site.
482
00:16:17,588 --> 00:16:19,187
Sorry, ladies and Vinny.
483
00:16:19,256 --> 00:16:22,257
This field/guilt trip is over.
484
00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:23,659
We had an agreement.
485
00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:25,193
You were supposed to
write your own letters,
486
00:16:25,262 --> 00:16:26,562
but then you go and copy mine?!
487
00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:27,896
I tried to write my own, Beverly.
488
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:30,532
I just couldn't be a scathing
guilt monster like you.
489
00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:32,100
If you don't mind, we're gonna head out
490
00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,769
to Chocolate Town USA.
491
00:16:33,837 --> 00:16:36,004
Enjoy waiting on the boiling hot bus.
492
00:16:36,073 --> 00:16:37,472
♪
493
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:38,907
This is not the bus!
494
00:16:39,009 --> 00:16:41,243
I'm not riding my first
roller coaster with my mom!
495
00:16:41,312 --> 00:16:42,611
We need to talk about your letter.
496
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,745
My letter?!
497
00:16:43,814 --> 00:16:45,547
You're the one who's
manipulated me for years,
498
00:16:45,649 --> 00:16:46,990
and is that creaking normal?
499
00:16:47,059 --> 00:16:48,859
That's because you were
shutting me out of your life,
500
00:16:48,928 --> 00:16:50,285
and, oh, we keep climbing.
501
00:16:50,354 --> 00:16:52,487
Of course I shut you
out! I'm a teenager!
502
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:53,989
And yeah, this is higher than I thought.
503
00:16:54,058 --> 00:16:55,891
Here, hold my hand.
Let Mama protect you.
504
00:16:55,993 --> 00:16:58,260
Please, I'm gonna be just fine!
505
00:16:58,329 --> 00:17:00,362
I'm gonna die, aah!
506
00:17:00,464 --> 00:17:02,030
Aah!
507
00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:04,942
I am so angry and upside down!
508
00:17:05,044 --> 00:17:06,076
Where's the ground?!
509
00:17:06,145 --> 00:17:09,805
Aah, I was dead just now! I'm so scared!
510
00:17:09,873 --> 00:17:12,341
Well, I'm loving every moment of thi...
511
00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:15,944
Ohh! Help! We need the coaster police!
512
00:17:16,046 --> 00:17:17,446
Where am I?!
513
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:19,081
Aah!
514
00:17:19,183 --> 00:17:21,383
I'm so furious but I forget why!
515
00:17:21,452 --> 00:17:23,185
Aah!
516
00:17:23,287 --> 00:17:24,686
I'm blind!
517
00:17:24,788 --> 00:17:26,688
I am blind!
518
00:17:28,425 --> 00:17:29,858
So are we good? Did we resolve this?
519
00:17:29,927 --> 00:17:31,902
Maybe! I don't know anything anymore!
520
00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:34,371
Yes, I agree, and I love you, too.
521
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,740
Yeah, even though I
blacked out from terror,
522
00:17:36,809 --> 00:17:38,442
I was still super fired up.
523
00:17:38,544 --> 00:17:40,944
Adam, wait.
524
00:17:41,013 --> 00:17:43,480
I've given you four hours
of bus ride to cool off.
525
00:17:43,582 --> 00:17:45,482
Trust me, that's not nearly enough.
526
00:17:45,551 --> 00:17:48,085
Okay, so maybe it was a mistake for me
527
00:17:48,187 --> 00:17:49,453
to force my way on this trip.
528
00:17:49,555 --> 00:17:50,787
Of course it was!
529
00:17:50,856 --> 00:17:53,557
My God, every other parent
was fine not to chaperone.
530
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:54,825
Why not you?
531
00:17:54,893 --> 00:17:58,528
Adam, when you were little,
I was your everything.
532
00:17:58,597 --> 00:18:00,764
I'd hold your hand when
I'd walk you into school,
533
00:18:00,833 --> 00:18:03,200
and you'd cry when I left.
534
00:18:03,268 --> 00:18:05,902
Now when you walk through
that door in the morning,
535
00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:08,105
you're just gone.
536
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:09,740
And when you come home, I get nothing.
537
00:18:09,842 --> 00:18:11,441
C'mon, I tell you stuff.
538
00:18:11,543 --> 00:18:14,778
Please. At best I get a "muh."
539
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,713
That's why I write the letters,
540
00:18:16,782 --> 00:18:18,915
so I can hear more, hear anything.
541
00:18:18,984 --> 00:18:20,183
Okay, then.
542
00:18:20,252 --> 00:18:22,786
I promise to give you more than a "muh"
543
00:18:22,855 --> 00:18:26,590
if you promise to stop with
your crazy mom manifestos.
544
00:18:26,658 --> 00:18:28,759
Guess I could cut back a little.
545
00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:30,927
With you, I still have
plenty of hurtful things
546
00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:32,696
to say to Barry and Erica.
547
00:18:32,765 --> 00:18:36,500
That day, me and my mom were
finally seeing eye to eye,
548
00:18:36,602 --> 00:18:38,502
and my dad decided to help someone
549
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,037
see things more clearly.
550
00:18:40,105 --> 00:18:42,639
If you're here for a
discounted eye exam, forget it.
551
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:43,840
Not today.
552
00:18:43,942 --> 00:18:45,642
I just thought maybe we could talk.
553
00:18:45,711 --> 00:18:46,676
What's to talk about?
554
00:18:46,779 --> 00:18:49,212
Geoff was in trouble
and called you, not me.
555
00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:50,847
Look, I'm far from the kind of guy
556
00:18:50,949 --> 00:18:52,849
who should be giving parenting advice,
557
00:18:52,951 --> 00:18:54,284
but I have learned
558
00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:56,920
you can't plan your kid's life for them.
559
00:18:56,989 --> 00:18:58,822
It's just always been my dream
560
00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:00,624
for him to follow in my footsteps.
561
00:19:00,726 --> 00:19:03,493
I get it, but is it his dream?
562
00:19:03,595 --> 00:19:04,895
I guess not.
563
00:19:04,963 --> 00:19:07,230
For what it's worth, whatever
Geoff does with his life,
564
00:19:07,332 --> 00:19:08,790
I know he's gonna be amazing at it.
565
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:10,100
He's a good egg.
566
00:19:10,169 --> 00:19:13,403
Tell you the truth, your
son's not so bad, either.
567
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:14,504
Barry?
568
00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:17,040
You know, he's fantastic
with the patients.
569
00:19:17,142 --> 00:19:18,542
Kid's gonna be a hell of a doctor.
570
00:19:18,644 --> 00:19:19,509
Maybe.
571
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,779
But I don't want to get involved.
572
00:19:22,848 --> 00:19:24,915
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
573
00:19:25,017 --> 00:19:26,950
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
574
00:19:27,052 --> 00:19:29,519
I see you're back to
folding my sweaters.
575
00:19:29,588 --> 00:19:31,988
Yeah. The whole, uh, new Geoff thing,
576
00:19:32,091 --> 00:19:33,490
it's just not who I am.
577
00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:35,792
Look, you don't know who
you are, and that's okay,
578
00:19:35,894 --> 00:19:37,527
'cause I don't know who I am, either.
579
00:19:37,629 --> 00:19:39,329
C'mon, you've got it all figured out.
580
00:19:39,398 --> 00:19:42,099
Dude, I have no idea what
I'll end up doing with my life.
581
00:19:42,201 --> 00:19:44,167
All I can do is follow my heart.
582
00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:46,536
And I love seeing you
finally doing the same.
583
00:19:46,638 --> 00:19:48,138
Sorry to interrupt.
584
00:19:48,207 --> 00:19:50,440
I just wanted a word with Geoffrey.
585
00:19:50,542 --> 00:19:53,477
Look, Dad, I don't want to
hear about how I let you down.
586
00:19:53,579 --> 00:19:55,679
It doesn't matter what I think.
587
00:19:55,781 --> 00:19:56,880
It's your life,
588
00:19:56,982 --> 00:19:59,007
and I want it to be
whatever you want it to be.
589
00:19:59,977 --> 00:20:01,376
As long as it's not furniture.
590
00:20:01,487 --> 00:20:02,377
Oh, God, no.
591
00:20:02,479 --> 00:20:03,879
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
592
00:20:03,981 --> 00:20:05,722
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
593
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:08,784
♪ Like no one else ♪
594
00:20:08,886 --> 00:20:10,694
Boofaloo! How was your day?
595
00:20:10,796 --> 00:20:11,962
Muh.
596
00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:15,732
♪ And I can't help myself ♪
597
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,534
Actually, it was really good.
598
00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:18,969
You want to hear about it?
599
00:20:19,071 --> 00:20:21,571
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
600
00:20:21,673 --> 00:20:22,939
When we're kids,
601
00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:25,700
it's natural to want to
shut your parents out,
602
00:20:25,803 --> 00:20:27,469
but once you start opening up,
603
00:20:27,571 --> 00:20:30,472
you realize it can be pretty sweet.
604
00:20:32,851 --> 00:20:34,901
_
605
00:20:35,136 --> 00:20:38,645
Bev, I have one of your actual letters,
606
00:20:38,747 --> 00:20:40,480
and it's a smooth...
607
00:20:40,583 --> 00:20:42,516
12 pages.
608
00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:43,884
Now, I know they've told me
609
00:20:43,986 --> 00:20:45,285
they don't read the letters.
610
00:20:45,387 --> 00:20:46,353
I don't believe them,
611
00:20:46,455 --> 00:20:47,487
because here's a letter
612
00:20:47,590 --> 00:20:48,622
that's 20 years old,
613
00:20:48,724 --> 00:20:50,223
and my son Adam still saved it.
614
00:20:50,326 --> 00:20:53,860
"Not only am I ashamed to
have such a cruel, selfish son,
615
00:20:53,963 --> 00:20:55,596
but I may never sleep again
616
00:20:55,698 --> 00:20:57,764
knowing how I have failed as a mother."
617
00:20:57,866 --> 00:20:59,399
Well, a little guilt doesn't hurt.
618
00:20:59,501 --> 00:21:01,201
What can I tell you?
46338
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