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1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:05,704
Mike, you have
to place the tinsel
2
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:08,540
carefully on the branch,
3
00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:11,010
one strand at a time.
4
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:13,278
All right. Sorry.
You're right.
5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,280
I'll do better.
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:19,818
This is a really
nice tree, Mike.
7
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,887
Isn't it?
I was upstate on the weekend.
8
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:25,357
I was meandering through
the Woods. I saw this backlit
9
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:28,660
by the sunset, and I said, "what
a beautiful piece of nature. "
10
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:30,929
So I hacked it down
and brought it in here.
11
00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:35,501
Well, I don't think you killed
it, 'cause it's still moving.
12
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,369
Paul, you wanna hold it steady?
13
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:41,507
I don't understand why somebody can't
run out and get a stand for this tree!
14
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,376
Mike, I was hoping that we could
put this on top of the tree.
15
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,079
It would really mean a lot to me.
I made it when I was a boy.
16
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,814
Wow, Stuart, an angel.
17
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,819
An anatomically correct angel.
18
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,955
You have your concept
of heaven, I have mine.
19
00:00:57,023 --> 00:01:01,393
I say we have a big blow-out
of a Christmas party this year.
20
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,997
I'm with the tree.
Stacy, you wanna get on that?
21
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,066
Oh, I can't do it Mike,
and I won't.
22
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,935
Maybe I wasn't clear when
I hired you. As my assistant,
23
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,738
occasionally,
you may need to assist me.
24
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,773
If I do this something
bad's gonna happen.
25
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,710
As long no one gets drunk and sings
the little drummer boy.
26
00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:19,611
I hate that song.
27
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,416
# pa-rum-pa-pum-pum #
28
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:27,319
# I am a poor boy, too #
29
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:30,055
# pa-rum-pa-pum-pum #
30
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,858
# I have no gifts to bring #
31
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,327
# pa-rum-pa-pum-pum #
32
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:38,397
# to lay before the king #
33
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:39,999
# pa-rum-pa-pum-pum #
34
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:43,235
# rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum... #
35
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:45,270
o. k. That's enough.
36
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,608
# Me and my drum #
37
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,535
mr. Mayor.
Yeah?
38
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,171
This is, uh,
this is Justin falby.
39
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:21,440
He's the state
spelling bee champion.
40
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:25,511
Mike, uh, kids make me
a little, uh, n-e-r-v-o-u-s.
41
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:34,119
This is Justin falby,
the state spelling bee champion.
42
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:36,889
Oh! Well,
in that case...
43
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,291
C- o-n...
44
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,264
...gratulations!
45
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:50,369
And so to sum up,
ladies and gentlemen,
46
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,204
I don't know.
47
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,309
Always love watching you work,
Paul. We'll take it from here.
48
00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:00,045
Uh, before we introduce
the mayor's special guest,
49
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,481
we have one piece
of Christmas business.
50
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,918
There was a mix-up at the printer's.
The city hall Christmas card
51
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:09,321
should read "happy holidays
from the mayor and his staff,"
52
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:13,692
not "it's a boy.
Steven and marcia fingerman. "
53
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,597
Having said that...
54
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,033
Way to go fingermans.
55
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,068
Has the mayor asked Santa claus
56
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,270
for anything special
this Christmas?
57
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,140
Happiness and prosperity
for all new yorkers.
58
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,209
And a ping-pong table.
59
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,948
For the youth center.
No, for the mansion.
60
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:39,151
We'll give my old gaming
table to the youth center.
61
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:43,088
We know how those inner-city
kids love to play baccarat.
62
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,558
Christmas and kids.
Hmm?
63
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,629
I remember when I first found out
that there was no Santa claus. Oh!
64
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:55,267
Uh...
65
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,203
Oh, well, sir, how-
how can there, uh...
66
00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:01,140
How can there be
no Santa claus?
67
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:04,376
I don't know, Mike.
Apparently, adults just made him up.
68
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,080
Oh.
69
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,983
What you got there?
70
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,218
It's a Christmas
care package from my folks.
71
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,754
They sent it 'cause I can't
afford to go home this year,
72
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,756
what with the airfare
and the hotel room.
73
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,491
Why would you
need a hotel room?
74
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,895
Ever since I moved out, my parents
have used my room to smoke meat.
75
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,535
ugh! What is
that stench? Ugh!
76
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,271
Venison.
77
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,874
How cool is this?
78
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,110
Your mother knows
you're a guy, right?
79
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:41,814
All right, everyone in my office.
We have a little Santa situation.
80
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,882
Hey, I recognize that sweater.
81
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,052
That's from the "I'm proud
I'm not having sex" catalog.
82
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:53,392
There's more. Every year my mom makes
a whole nativity scene out of Candy.
83
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,563
Chocolate jesus.
84
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,066
James, please.
At work, just call me Carter.
85
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,343
In fairness to Justin, he's
not just crying about Santa.
86
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:15,948
After the press conference, the mayor
accidentally broke his spelling bee trophy.
87
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:20,552
Why don't you just give him that stupid
"world's greatest Boss trophy" on your desk?
88
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,724
Well, because, Carter...
89
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,793
He's not the world's
greatest Boss.
90
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,365
I'm the world's greatest Boss.
91
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:37,069
I did it. I set up another press
conference between the mayor and Justin.
92
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,805
Is this where the mayor
tells him he's adopted?
93
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,245
There's only one guy
who can fix this.
94
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,247
Santa claus?
95
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,182
No, the world's greatest Boss.
96
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,084
We'll bring Justin back in,
97
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,320
and we'll pay him a visit with
one of the city hall santas.
98
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,157
Mike, you let them go when
you cut the holiday budget.
99
00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:01,593
Can't believe you fired all the
santas, Mike. And at Christmas.
100
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:06,298
Well... when else can
you fire 'em, James?
101
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,271
I mean, you fire 'em
in the summertime,
102
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,707
they don't even know about it.
103
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:23,449
Stuart! You're eating
one of the wise men.
104
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,924
If he's so wise...
105
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:35,461
Why is he so
chocolatey delicious?
106
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,628
Hey, everybody.
107
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,974
where's the third wise man?
108
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:53,545
He went down to the 7-eleven to
pick up a six-pack of myrrh.
109
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:56,815
No one leaves here until I find
out who ate king nebuchadnezzar.
110
00:06:56,883 --> 00:07:00,552
James, just replace him with a
kitkat and get on with your life.
111
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:04,590
You wait until there's something
important to you, and I...
112
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,859
Eat it!
113
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,264
I'm not being superstitious.
114
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,234
Every time I throw
a Christmas party...
115
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,269
Someone dies.
116
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,473
I guess every family
has their traditions.
117
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:25,144
6 parties, 6 dead relatives.
118
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,579
You just now decided
to quit throwing parties?
119
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,782
We started knocking off
the ones I like.
120
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,950
You let all
the city hall santas go,
121
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,253
and now we're supposed
to come to your rescue?
122
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,222
Well, ho ho ho.
123
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:41,160
Look, it's pretty obvious
you guys got us by the, uh...
124
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,328
...jingle bells.
125
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:46,065
Let me just take a look
at those demands.
126
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,800
O.k.
127
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:51,804
You want a, uh,
10% raise, full dental...
128
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,740
Wait a minute.
129
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,810
You don't want
to work holidays?
130
00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:00,279
We're willing
to let that one go.
131
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,048
Most of this is negotiable.
Right now, as a good faith gesture,
132
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:07,353
I just need one of you to come
with me to the press room. O.k.?
133
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:11,590
I seem to have misplaced my
Santa-to-English phrase book, so...
134
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:16,061
On prancer, on dancer,
on...
135
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,963
scotchie.
136
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:27,539
We also want a 10-minute break
every hour for smoking.
137
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,875
And drinking.
138
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,977
Shut up, Jerry.
139
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,746
Give me the outfit.
I'll be back.
140
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,415
You want this outfit?
You want it?
141
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:39,885
You're gonna have
to take it off of me.
142
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,888
O.k, I'm sure that line
works with mrs. Claus.
143
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,729
I just wanna, you know,
help out a little kid.
144
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:54,133
Wait. Are you
disrespecting my Lady?
145
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:58,637
Hands off, tubby.
146
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,040
Why, what are you
gonna do about it?
147
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,412
I'm...
I'm warning you, stop.
148
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:10,115
Yeah. Hey, guys, the little
drummer boy wants me to stop.
149
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:14,086
Ho ho ho ho ho.
150
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,725
All right. You know what?
It's time to get naughty.
151
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:25,397
You see, I was wrong, Justin.
There really is a Santa claus.
152
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,667
And maybe...
Just maybe...
153
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:32,504
He'll make a special stop
all the way from the North pole!
154
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,512
and maybe...
155
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,817
Just maybe...
156
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:48,987
He'll make a special stop
all the way from the North pole!
157
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,361
Paul...
do something!
158
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,069
Justin, Santa's gonna
be a little late,
159
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:08,073
but I spoke to him, and he
told me to give you this, um...
160
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,943
Uh, this-this
subway token.
161
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,547
Gonna need that back.
162
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,617
Ho ho ho.
163
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,419
Merry Christmas.
164
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,955
Santa was just in a little...
165
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,257
Sleigh wreck on the way over.
166
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:30,295
Now, what's this I hear about
you not believing in me, huh?
167
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,031
Aahh!
168
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,576
Can't believe this
has gotten so out of hand.
169
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,813
I can't believe Santa bit me.
170
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:51,884
I say we just cut our losses
and forget about little Justin.
171
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:54,553
Just forget about little Justin?
Well, I don't think so.
172
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,623
He'll be fine. Kids block out
these childhood traumas.
173
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,993
I did. Like that time Jimmy Owens
pulled down my pants in front of-
174
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,729
oh, God! Oh, it's
flooding all back!
175
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,801
Yeah, he'll be o. k.
He'll go to school.
176
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,703
He'll do well,
and he'll maybe...
177
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:14,773
Grow up to be the youngest deputy mayor
in the history of new York city.
178
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,678
He'll seem o. k.,
you know, with...
179
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:23,215
A winning smile
and baby blue eyes...
180
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,887
Fancy designer ties with the
little checkie things on them.
181
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:33,058
But trust me, there will
be a hole in his life...
182
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,227
That will never be filled.
183
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,164
How do you know
so much about this kid?
184
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,236
What's next, Mike?
You gonna drive a Candy cane
185
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:48,173
through Santa's heart during
halftime at the super bowl?
186
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,775
I'm gonna do whatever it takes
187
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,312
to make sure that Justin
believes in Santa again.
188
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,347
Look,
we're politicians. We...
189
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,617
We spend all our time
doing damage control.
190
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,652
You know, protecting our guy,
191
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,122
deflecting problems
until the next one comes up.
192
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:06,992
Well, today-today we can solve
a problem that we don't have to.
193
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,994
Mike, that's beautiful.
194
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,032
And if things don't
work out for you here,
195
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:16,535
I heard there's an opening
for deputy mayor of candyland.
196
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,610
Stuart?
197
00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:26,912
Damn. You caught me.
198
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,550
Do you not have an ounce
of Christmas spirit in you?
199
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:35,220
Well, Joseph was
about 3 ounces, so...
200
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,157
Yes.
201
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,693
You three just
come back from lunch?
202
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:45,330
So, what'd you have?
Little cottage cheese, maybe a little fruit?
203
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,067
Steamed vegetables.
204
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:49,802
Mm-mmm!
205
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,239
Bet you didn't any dessert.
206
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,241
Oh, dear.
207
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,777
It's so soft and creamy...
208
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,880
That just holding it
in my hands for a moment,
209
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,583
it melted all... over...
210
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,852
My...
fingers.
211
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,656
oh, God, gimme a goat!
212
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:13,692
Hands off! I've been
eyeing that goat all day.
213
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,061
I want the roof.
Ha-ha!
214
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,631
You are all weak! Very weak,
and I love you for it!
215
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,373
What's that on your hands?
216
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,775
Shepherd.
217
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,256
Just anchor
your hands and feet...
218
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,092
And move one limb at a time,
219
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,094
and we should be safe.
220
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,666
Whoa, careful.
Pretty steep up here.
221
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,969
Could be dangerous.
222
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,139
Why can't Carter be Santa?
223
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,608
Good, Paul. Surprise visit
in the middle of the night
224
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,445
from a disguised Black man-
what could possibly go wrong?
225
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,683
Come on, Paul.
You agreed to do this.
226
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:14,787
You tricked me.
You said we were going out for drinks.
227
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,423
Maybe Justin's mother's gonna
have a cup of eggnog for you.
228
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,625
Eggnog gives me mucus.
229
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,096
Paul, eggnog is mucus.
230
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,098
Come on.
Get in the hole. Let's go.
231
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,135
hey, hey!
Don't push the man.
232
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,439
Thank you. At least one of you
is concerned with my safety.
233
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:37,242
Don't flatter yourself, Paul.
I'm tethered to you.
234
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,311
We are here
to show a young child
235
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:43,015
the true meaning of Christmas-
peace, love, Joy.
236
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,284
Now, if you don't get
into the spirit of this,
237
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:48,520
I'm gonna launch you off
this roof like a lawn dart!
238
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,723
I go, he goes.
Oh, God.
239
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,358
Yeah, well...
240
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:55,027
Carter understood the risks
when he took this mission.
241
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,163
You told me we were
going out for drinks!
242
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,766
I'm gonna go down
and psyche Justin up.
243
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:04,103
You lower him halfway down-
I give you the signal.
244
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,638
O.k., Paul, you're up.
I mean you're down.
245
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:09,475
All right.
Fire in the hole.
246
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,910
What? What?
247
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,279
Dive, kringle.
248
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,850
Mike, be careful.
249
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,687
It misted here earlier.
This whole roof could be crawling with Black ice.
250
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,723
If there were, don't you think I
would have stepped in it by now?
251
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,859
Whoa!
252
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,731
Under control.
253
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,134
Excuse me.
I'm from the union,
254
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,236
and I'm looking
for Mike Flaherty.
255
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:41,507
Yeah, and I'm still looking for my cabbage
patch doll from Christmas '85, so take a seat!
256
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,809
Fine.
257
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,577
Hey, Nikki,
I am swamped over here.
258
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,480
Could you do me a favor
and go get stuff for the party?
259
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,583
Sure. What do you need?
Liquor, chips, dip?
260
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,821
I was thinking more along the lines
of a first-aid Kit and a priest.
261
00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:57,890
You're still stuck
on this death thing?
262
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,726
Please. I love you guys.
Don't go to this party.
263
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,227
It's gonna be too dangerous.
264
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,629
What was that?
265
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,664
Nothing. I'll see you tonight.
266
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,673
I heard a rumor
267
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:18,010
that Santa claus was
coming to your house.
268
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,479
Is he going
to beat you up again?
269
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,450
That wasn't the real Santa.
270
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:28,387
The real Santa
doesn't fight like a girl.
271
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,489
So, what do you
want for Christmas?
272
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,726
A bunsen burner,
some matches...
273
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,362
Hey, Carter. I'm not moving.
274
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,597
Throw down some more slack.
275
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,471
...candles
and a couple of zippos.
276
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,806
Justin's taken a real interest
277
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,376
in experimenting with fire.
278
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:53,178
Well, you must
be so proud, and...
279
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:57,583
So terrified at the same time.
No, thank you.
280
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:01,353
But my list doesn't matter anyway,
because there is no Santa claus.
281
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,222
Oh, really? Then-
then why do I hear
282
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,057
reindeer hooves on the roof?
283
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,760
Carter! Reindeer sounds.
284
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,800
not rein-cow!
285
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,403
Just stamp your feet
or something,
286
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,505
and watch out
for the Black ice.
287
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,642
aaaaaagghh!
288
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,013
What's that?
289
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,749
Uh, that, uh-um, him?
290
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,361
The, uh, the-the man
dangling outside your window?
291
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:45,230
That's, uh, that's-
that's nothing.
292
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,899
Santa?
293
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,168
Ho ho ho! Yeah, Mike?
294
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,937
- What's the deal, Santa?
- Ho ho ho, Mike!
295
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:54,239
Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha.
296
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,041
I'm stuck!
297
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:02,181
Stacy, is there a fork around
for this Pumpkin pie?
298
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,751
A fork? Do you know
how dangerous a fork is?
299
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:08,754
You might as well eat it
with a gun. Use your hands.
300
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,856
James, come on.
Join the party.
301
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,992
You've already strip-mined
my nativity scene.
302
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:17,963
All that's left is the baby
jesus. Someone has to guard him.
303
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:20,032
We should do this now.
304
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,035
Do what you will to me.
You will never get the baby!
305
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,436
Relax, James.
306
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,572
We all chipped in
and got you this.
307
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,510
A ticket home!
Thank you, guys!
308
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,883
I feel really bad
for not trusting you.
309
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,519
I thought one of you would
try to eat the baby jesus,
310
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:43,022
so I replaced him
with a hunk of ceramic...
311
00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:59,238
so Stuart's the one
that's gonna croak.
312
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,609
Didn't somebody from this office
take that c. p. r. Class?
313
00:19:03,677 --> 00:19:05,611
it was me!
314
00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:11,617
phoo!
315
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,355
you can let go of me now.
316
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,060
You're welcome.
317
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:24,096
And you-I hope
you've learned a lesson.
318
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:28,133
You're too smart to let silly
superstition rule your life.
319
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:33,806
Christmas is all about celebrating
a birth, not fearing death.
320
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,874
Am I right, Santa?
321
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,288
Well, that's ironic.
322
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,358
5, 4,
323
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,326
3, 2,
324
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,828
1!
325
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,836
in just a minute, Justin, I'm gonna
read this story to the city,
326
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:07,106
because I think it's important
that all the children out there
327
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:10,109
believe...
"In the magic of satan. "
328
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,647
That's, uh, that's Santa.
329
00:20:18,018 --> 00:20:19,852
Typo.
330
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,520
I believe in Santa, Justin.
331
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:24,123
Who do you think got me
these fine cuban cigars?
332
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,291
Uh, sir,
I- I don't think Santa
333
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,161
cleared those cigars
with customs, so...
334
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:33,265
I don't think he intended for you
to smoke them at a public speech.
335
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,668
Oh.
336
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:43,075
# fa la la la la la la la la #
337
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,079
the tree went up
like a torch.
338
00:20:47,147 --> 00:20:51,116
By the time this mysterious
3- alarm blaze was put out,
339
00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:53,852
this... was all
that remained.
340
00:20:55,522 --> 00:21:00,592
It's just what I wanted
for Christmas. A big fire!
341
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,861
And Santa...
342
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,330
Knew that.
343
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,566
Can I get another one?
344
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,903
Justin, can you
spell "pyromaniac"?
345
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,374
That's the word
I won the championship on.
346
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:18,010
So, do you believe
in Santa now?
347
00:21:18,078 --> 00:21:20,913
I do! I know there's
a Santa!
348
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:23,749
And nothing can ever
change my mind.
349
00:21:29,189 --> 00:21:31,190
Merry Christmas.
350
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:38,564
You know, I'm a little claustrophobic and
everything, and it's unusually dark in here!
351
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:43,068
Ho ho ho ho! But I figure with all the
rescue people and everything running around,
352
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:46,138
that I'll be like
a national hero. Right?
353
00:21:46,206 --> 00:21:48,741
Like-like baby Jessica? Guys?
354
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,244
Guys? Hello?
Is anybody out there?
355
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,980
Guys? Ha ha oh...
Oh, God.
356
00:21:55,048 --> 00:21:58,484
Are-are the walls
closing in here?
357
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:02,488
Oh ho ho ho...
Oh ho ho ho ho ho...
358
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,023
Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
359
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,993
moo.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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