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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,112
Silver Maid keeping ahead in
front of Dasher and Boy Blue.
3
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,654
But the favourite,
Red Dice, is now
4
00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:14,232
lengths behind. He's
right out of it.
5
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,391
Inside the last furlong,
and Dasher's taken
6
00:02:16,392 --> 00:02:18,199
it up. Moving through
very smoothly.
7
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,687
Silver Maid hanging on
to second place. And
8
00:02:20,688 --> 00:02:23,189
at the post, it's Dasher
from Silver Maid...
9
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,189
Well, did it win?
10
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,038
That nag should be going
into hospital, not you.
11
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,150
Bad luck. I wonder who
won the baby stakes.
12
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,040
Oh.
13
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,036
Supposing I'd been on it.
14
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,071
Ah. Where do I go?
15
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,152
- Hey. I can walk, you know.
- Nobody walks in here.
16
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,988
- Any chance of walking out?
- We've got to do the job proper.
17
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,070
- Over here, Mr York.
- Right, nurse.
18
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,463
Thanks for the ride, boys.
19
00:03:30,464 --> 00:03:32,237
Give us a write-up in the papers.
20
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,833
Will you get into bed, please?
21
00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:38,079
I... didn't have time
to get my pyjamas.
22
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,190
Oh, that's all right. You
won't need any just now.
23
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,189
Thanks.
24
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,074
- What's he got, then, Mick?
- Appendicitis.
25
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,997
Ten days' job.
26
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,110
Cor blimey. Only ten days.
27
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,209
When I think how easily
that could have been
28
00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,159
avoided, I could kick
myself, I tell you.
29
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,191
Did you hear what I said then?
30
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,191
I said I could kick myself.
31
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,191
Kick myself, with that on, I said.
32
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,159
I think that's very funny,
Mick. Don't you, Mick?
33
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,111
- Hello, Mick.
- Hello, Mr Able.
34
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,072
- There you are.
- What's that? A shroud?
35
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,111
No, an operating gown.
36
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,229
Your turn.
37
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,189
Yes, Colonel?
38
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,028
I want to see that ward
orderly chap - Mick.
39
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,117
You can't. It's our job to
answer the buzzer, not his.
40
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,197
You've only been here
half a day and you've
41
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:55,233
called us a dozen times
for no good reason.
42
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,028
Now, do try and remember the
buzzer's only for emergencies.
43
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,230
- This is an emergency.
- What kind of an emergency?
44
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,514
Every time Mick comes
in here, he stays too
45
00:05:03,515 --> 00:05:05,995
long. I don't know what
you find to talk about.
46
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,123
I dare say you don't.
There's some things we men
47
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,079
talk about it's better
for women not to know.
48
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,195
I can imagine that.
49
00:05:11,196 --> 00:05:13,192
I doubt it, young
lady. I doubt it.
50
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,117
Well, what do you want him for?
51
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,156
What can he do for you that
I can't? Tell me that.
52
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,056
Ho-ho-ho. Don't tempt
me, girl. Just
53
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,113
tell Mick I want him,
would you, please?
54
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,151
All right. Just this once.
55
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,195
Ah, Mick, my boy. That's
right, shut the door.
56
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,981
Now then, dictation.
Got your notebook?
57
00:05:34,982 --> 00:05:35,982
Yes, sir.
58
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,071
Good. Here we are, then.
59
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,150
Bob each way, the Black Prince.
60
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,191
That's the 3:30 at Chepstow.
61
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,158
Black Prince, 3:30 at Chepstow.
62
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,078
Half a dollar to win, Rambler.
63
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,111
R-A-M-B-L-E-R.
64
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,032
Now that's the 4:15 at Redcar.
65
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,031
4:15, Redcar.
66
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,116
- That's all, I think.
- Right, Colonel.
67
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,796
Well, you just settle down,
68
00:05:58,797 --> 00:06:01,039
Colonel. I'll wait
for the results.
69
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,284
Oh, get me 20 Player's,
would you, please?
70
00:06:03,285 --> 00:06:04,332
Yes, sir.
71
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,998
Don't bother about that.
72
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,115
Good afternoon. Name?
73
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,151
Oh. Good afternoon.
York. Edward York.
74
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,988
- Address?
- 24 Passiondale Avenue.
75
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,031
- Age?
- 35.
76
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,235
- Occupation?
- News... paper reporter.
77
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,198
- Relax.
- I was covering the baby show.
78
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,117
- Next of kin?
- No.
79
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,229
Religion?
80
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,070
Which lot has the best
record of recovery?
81
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,071
I'm very busy. Come
along, now. C of E?
82
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,111
- False teeth?
- No.
83
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,189
- Glass eye?
- No.
84
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,118
And before you go any further,
the rest of me is my own.
85
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,072
Sign, please. Consent for
general anaesthetic.
86
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,071
- Ooh.
- Relax.
87
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,078
- Hello. I'm Mick.
- Hi, Mick.
88
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,192
- What's her trouble?
- Oh, night starvation.
89
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,031
- Going to shave you.
- Shave?
90
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,071
My appendix isn't on my face.
91
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,071
I'm not going to shave your face.
92
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,232
- Yes, Colonel?
- I'm all crumby.
93
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,028
If you will stuff yourself
with those crumbly biscuits...
94
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,071
Well, I have to have
some pleasure, damn it.
95
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,031
Hop out and I'll take
the crumbs away.
96
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,993
- Where's that fella Mick got to?
- He's doing something for Sister.
97
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,075
Can I help?
98
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,078
Not unless you know what won
the 4:15 at Redcar, you can't.
99
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,358
Oh, you and your racing.
All right, get in.
100
00:07:55,359 --> 00:07:56,359
Thank you.
101
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,111
Oh, I wish you wouldn't
eat those biscuits.
102
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,078
I eat biscuits, my girl,
to calm my nerves.
103
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,111
Rambler won it. 3-1.
104
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,111
- Comfy now?
- Yes.
105
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,111
Rambler, do you say?
106
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,032
Hoo-hoo. Ha-ha-ha.
Good old Rambler.
107
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,116
Oh, we'll have a new one now.
108
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,071
- Ooph.
- I warned you.
109
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,071
Thank you.
110
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,168
Sister...
111
00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:30,112
I'm not a sister,
I'm a staff nurse.
112
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,111
Oh? How do I tell the difference?
113
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,072
Student nurses wear big hats.
We call them butterflies.
114
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,031
- You call them what?
- Butterflies.
115
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,189
- Ah, I like that.
- They don't.
116
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,038
And staff nurses
wear these. Got it?
117
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,076
Yes. I think you're wonderful.
118
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,236
Relax, Mr York.
119
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,111
Oh.
120
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,039
Nurse Dawson. Is it your
intention to wreck my ward?
121
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,038
- Who are you?
- I'm a nurse.
122
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,031
You're in hospital,
but you're all right.
123
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,197
- Let's have a beer.
- You can't have a beer, Mr York.
124
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,158
She'll give me a beer. I'll go...
125
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,200
Cor.
126
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,221
Somebody stabbed me.
127
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:20,197
Lie still, you've
got a drain in you.
128
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,113
Now that you've made my
bed... you can lie on it.
129
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,190
Why, Mr York.
130
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,231
Mr York.
131
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,369
Oh, I'm sorry, Staff. I was just
132
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,037
trying to get Mr
York to settle down.
133
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,111
- For life?
- Lovely.
134
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,538
When you're on night
duty, nurse, always
135
00:09:48,539 --> 00:09:50,990
carry a couple of
sleeping pills with you.
136
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,190
There isn't always time
to go and fetch them.
137
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,231
Yes, Staff. Thank you.
138
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,073
Buck up, there's another
patient coming in.
139
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,111
Cor, what a place.
140
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,111
Bath, sluice room,
sterili... Jane.
141
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,755
Look, my hand's all
right. I keep telling
142
00:10:07,756 --> 00:10:10,030
everybody. I don't
have to come here.
143
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,156
All you need is just to rub it.
144
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,257
I don't like this
place at all. There's
145
00:10:14,258 --> 00:10:16,039
lights, and bells, and buzzers...
146
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,031
Come on, babe.
147
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,230
Excuse me, miss. I think there's
been a bit of a mistake.
148
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,024
I don't have to
stay here, you see.
149
00:10:22,025 --> 00:10:23,198
Through there, please.
150
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,192
I'm not going in. It's full of
sick people. I'll catch something.
151
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,196
You've already got
something. Go in.
152
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,198
Ah. Mr Bishop? Come
in, will you, please?
153
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,117
Now, will you please get into bed?
154
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,196
Look er... miss, I'm quite
all right, you see.
155
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,187
I've sprained my wrist
in a fight before.
156
00:10:45,188 --> 00:10:47,079
All I need is a bit
of the old massage.
157
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,071
Your X-ray shows a
dislocation and fracture.
158
00:10:49,072 --> 00:10:50,192
Well, the X-ray's wrong.
159
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,191
- It's just a sprain.
- Shall I give you a hand?
160
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,151
No, that won't be
necessary, thanks.
161
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,034
- Bernie, you do as you're told.
- Yeah, but the point is, all...
162
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,071
I don't know.
163
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,235
All right, darling.
164
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,151
Kiss the baby for me.
165
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,076
Now, Mr Bishop, will
you sit down, please?
166
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,116
Hey. Mr Hickson.
167
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,998
Mr Hickson.
168
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,235
What? What?
169
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,231
Bernie Bishop's just come in.
The boxer. He's hurt his hand.
170
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,646
What do you expect
me to do? Stand...
171
00:11:22,647 --> 00:11:23,647
Ssh.
172
00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,231
Stand up and cheer?
173
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,232
Do me a favour, will
you? Go to sleep.
174
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,230
Sorry. I thought you were a fan.
175
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,991
Let's all get a bit of peace.
176
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,150
This is a madhouse. I'll
be glad when I get home.
177
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,988
Bernie Bishop, he says. Bernie...
178
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,110
Cor. What a punch, though.
179
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,235
He landed in Row F.
180
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,101
Well, don't worry. They'll
soon fix that hand so
181
00:11:48,102 --> 00:11:50,073
that you don't roll on
it when you're asleep.
182
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,111
- Stand up, please.
- Ok.
183
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,111
- There.
- Right.
184
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,997
- Now...
- What? What, what?
185
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,235
- Well, you can't sleep in those.
- That's quite all right.
186
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,231
- I can er... take 'em off.
- With one hand?
187
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,472
Yeah, I can manage. Thank you. You
188
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,117
two ladies, turn
your backs, please.
189
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,072
Good. Wait a... Hey, what's
going on? You can't do...
190
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,111
What a sauce. Nurse. Please.
191
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,120
Cor.
192
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,151
What a fuss about
such a little thing.
193
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,229
Come in.
194
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,072
- Good morning, Colonel.
- It's not. No racing.
195
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,150
What are we going to do
to amuse ourselves today?
196
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,077
I really don't know, sir.
197
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,112
Not unless you're interested in
a little private wager, sir.
198
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,032
- What are you talking about?
- With me, that is.
199
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,076
You see, it's
Matron's round today.
200
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,022
Well now, she usually
averages about 14
201
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:53,070
minutes 10 to about
16 minutes 30 seconds
202
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,038
from the top of the stairs
to the last bed in the ward.
203
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,058
Half a crown on the
nearest time to a second?
204
00:12:58,059 --> 00:12:59,059
That's it.
205
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,189
- Are you on?
- I'm on, sir.
206
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,117
- Got a stopwatch?
- I'll get one.
207
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,288
Just a moment.
Don't... I want that.
208
00:13:19,289 --> 00:13:21,074
I'm sorry, it's Matron's round.
209
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,230
- What's going on?
- Matron's round.
210
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,151
I don't care if she's triangular.
211
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,235
Mick.
212
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,991
Mick. Mick.
213
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,235
The veranda. Sweep
the veranda first.
214
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,031
Do you mind.
215
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,155
Oh, please. Let's get on.
216
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,158
I say. You don't know
what you've missed.
217
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,159
Don't I?
218
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,031
The most marvellous recipe.
219
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,559
Don't you worry, I
shall be at it the
220
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,157
moment I get out.
It's made in a flash.
221
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,191
Camper's Jamboree Folly.
222
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,117
I have it here.
223
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,112
You take a couple of red
raisins, two whites
224
00:13:59,113 --> 00:14:01,193
of eggs, one grated
earphone... Earphones? Oh.
225
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,198
You wicked, bad girl. I shall
miss the next programme.
226
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,192
Feudal. That's what this place
is. Feudal. I could choke.
227
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,152
I'm studying nuclear physics,
the thing of the future.
228
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,077
I've got an examination to pass,
229
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,101
and I'm delayed because
a survival from
230
00:14:14,102 --> 00:14:16,033
the surgical Stone
Age called a matron
231
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,109
is going to walk through here.
232
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,071
I could spit. I could scream.
233
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,149
My name's Oliver Reckitt.
234
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,033
You've made a mess of your
hand. Industrial injury?
235
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,071
Er... Pardon?
236
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,031
Hurt it at your work?
237
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,031
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
238
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,234
I'm a boxer.
239
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,231
How savage.
240
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,070
It's no more savage than
what you're doing, mate.
241
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,253
Pressing buttons, making
explosions and giving
242
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:40,159
everybody horrible
weather in the summer.
243
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,236
Come along. Come along.
Come along, please.
244
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,155
- Yes?
- Ah, good morning.
245
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,191
My name's Perkins,
Ted York's editor.
246
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,288
I've just brought
some things along
247
00:14:56,289 --> 00:14:57,994
from his digs. Can I see him?
248
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,599
Newspaper man, you
know. Very busy at
249
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,157
nights. I doubt if
he'll get anybody.
250
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,196
Go along in here
now, out of the way.
251
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,198
Ted'll never get a single visitor,
you know, unless I can...
252
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,158
- Oh, good morning, Matron.
- Good morning, Sister.
253
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,058
Come along, come along. We must be
254
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:13,079
quick. I'm due at
a meeting. Now...
255
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,036
- Good morning, Mr York.
- Good morning.
256
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,038
- Everything all right, I hope?
- Yes, thank you, Matron.
257
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,991
- Nurse?
- Ssh.
258
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,197
Good morning, Mr Hinton.
259
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,033
Mr Hinton, please.
260
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,031
Argh.
261
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,109
Beg pardon.
262
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,151
You're all right.
263
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,152
- Feeling all right today?
- As well as can be expected.
264
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,158
If that's all there is to it,
why all the fear and trembling?
265
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,197
You'll see. That wasn't typical.
Stick around a few days.
266
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,038
I haven't got much choice, have I?
267
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,076
- Carry on, Sister.
- Thank you, Matron.
268
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:13,772
Can I come out now?
269
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,235
Yes, Mr Perkins. But
be quick, please.
270
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,290
Thank you very much.
271
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:18,198
Come along, everybody.
Back to work.
272
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,157
Crikey, Colonel. She broke
an all-time record today.
273
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,151
12 minutes, 20 seconds.
274
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:35,199
Now, I said er...
14.2 You said 14.50.
275
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,191
You owe me half a crown, guv.
276
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,033
All right. There's the money
there. Help yourself.
277
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,992
- I'll toss you, double or quits.
- Well, I must fly, sir.
278
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,235
- I'm all of a rush this morning.
- Blast the matron.
279
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:49,233
Listen... Hospital life from
the patient's point of view.
280
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,036
Byline, Ted York -
dateline on the spot.
281
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,480
A series. It's sure-fire. Look,
282
00:16:53,481 --> 00:16:55,197
everybody's interested
in hospitals.
283
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,117
Look, we can't miss.
284
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,194
I'll run special
supplements, special
285
00:16:59,195 --> 00:17:01,159
advertising. I'll
give you a bonus.
286
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,236
- It's as good as written.
- That's my boy.
287
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,584
All you've got to
do is to sit here
288
00:17:05,585 --> 00:17:06,992
and watch and listen and write.
289
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,076
- Now, don't forget the bonus.
- I won't.
290
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,031
I'm sorry, you must
go now, Mr Perkins.
291
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,072
Mr Stephens is making his
round a little earlier today.
292
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,189
Certainly.
293
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:20,030
Don't forget, Ted. Keep it
clean. Bye-bye. Bye, nurse.
294
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,122
What's all this about
an anaesthetic? I just
295
00:17:30,123 --> 00:17:32,158
thought I needed a drop
of the old massage.
296
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,245
Well, we have to
manipulate your wrist,
297
00:17:34,246 --> 00:17:36,034
set your hand in plaster of Paris.
298
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,032
- The pain would be too great.
- Oh, now, come on, doc, please.
299
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,954
I can bear any amount of pain. You
300
00:17:40,955 --> 00:17:42,993
just do what you
have to right now.
301
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,237
I've read about your left hook, Mr
Bishop. I've no desire to feel it.
302
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,231
You'd be well advised to sign.
303
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,232
You'll be here a week. After
that, with a little luck,
304
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,152
you'll fight again in
about three months' time.
305
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,231
I'm sorry, there's no quicker way.
306
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,112
Being in a public ward is
quite an experience for me,
307
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,196
and a surprisingly pleasant
one, I must admit.
308
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,076
Mind you, of course,
coddling can go too far.
309
00:18:12,077 --> 00:18:13,077
Definitely.
310
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,036
Private enterprise -
that's the ticket.
311
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,114
I mean, you take my
house, for instance,
312
00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:19,198
on the er... the west
side of the common.
313
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:23,113
I saw it on a Monday, brought off
a deal in the City on Tuesday,
314
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,038
bought it on the Wednesday,
cash on the nail.
315
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,196
Private enterprise. There
is nothing like it.
316
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,231
Definitely. That's
how I got my house.
317
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,110
You... You've got your own place?
318
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,151
Yes. The manor. West
side of the common.
319
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:41,035
What, that lovely stately...?
But... But... You own that?
320
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,031
Rent it. 23 bob a...
321
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,071
No, no, no, I'm a liar.
322
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,150
22s 9d a week, from the council.
323
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,077
But... But... But how?
324
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,072
Well, they had to give us
somewhere. I've got 11 kids.
325
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,150
Private enterprise. Definitely.
326
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,110
- May I borrow your chair?
- Yes.
327
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,231
- All right?
- I was.
328
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,191
- I want to talk to you.
- I want to talk to you.
329
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,117
Oh? What about?
330
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,037
Yes or no today?
331
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,156
Well, as a matter of fact... no.
332
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,111
Drink it.
333
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,037
Urgh.
334
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,196
- Good evening, Mr York.
- Hello.
335
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,399
Would you like a hospital visitor?
336
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,400
A what?
337
00:20:41,401 --> 00:20:43,173
A hospital visitor.
Someone who volunteers
338
00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:45,233
to chat with patients
who have no visitors.
339
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,231
No, thank you.
340
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,198
- You visit me.
- You see enough of me all day.
341
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,073
Cor.
342
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,111
A lady referee.
343
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:05,190
Back in the land of the
living, Mr Bishop?
344
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,153
I got the compensation
form from the union, dear.
345
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,236
Well, it's about time.
Let's fill it in.
346
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,231
Take my glove off first.
347
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:25,028
How do you expect to fill that
thing in properly like that?
348
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,036
Why don't you find
something to lean on?
349
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,151
I'll take this book.
350
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,151
Take this book.
351
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,231
Full name.
352
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,118
Well, don't tell me you
don't know that by now.
353
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:45,079
No, it's all right, dear. I
was only thinking aloud.
354
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,230
Oh. Block letters.
355
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,038
- Now, date of accident.
- 27th.
356
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,230
- No, dear, it couldn't have been.
- Look, I ought to know.
357
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,115
No, dear, it couldn't have been.
358
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,234
Because the 27th I
went to see Grandma.
359
00:22:02,235 --> 00:22:04,153
You came to fetch
me at the station.
360
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,192
You couldn't have done that with
a broken leg, dear, could you?
361
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,782
What difference does it make?
362
00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:11,119
Well, it must have been
the next day, then.
363
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,236
Oh, right. So it was the next day.
364
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,381
What difference does it make?
365
00:22:15,382 --> 00:22:18,075
Oh, Perc, do try
and be reasonable.
366
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,997
Ha. Reasonable.
367
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,190
Well, I mean, you've got to
be accurate on these things,
368
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,199
otherwise, well, anybody
could write in and claim.
369
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,087
Marge, look, just
you write it down,
370
00:22:30,088 --> 00:22:32,118
girl? Just get it
down, that's all.
371
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,289
Now... Do you expect
this incapacity
372
00:22:36,290 --> 00:22:39,191
to last more than a week?
373
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,192
No, I'm er... I'm going
to a dance tonight.
374
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,191
Oh, Perc, do help.
375
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,192
Well, it gives me the sick,
all these daft questions.
376
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,038
Well, they've got to
know these things, dear.
377
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,112
Look. I fell off a scaffolding.
I broke my perishing leg.
378
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,768
Now what more do
they want to know?
379
00:22:54,769 --> 00:22:56,197
My father's chest measurements?
380
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,039
Oh, cor blimey. Now...
Now... Now, don't you start.
381
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,071
I can't help it.
382
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,071
It's too much.
383
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:11,155
You stuck in here, your leg stuck
up there, and I'm all alone.
384
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,033
I know. With three kids.
385
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,110
Oh, Perc, don't.
386
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,117
Marge. Marge, I'm sorry. Now,
don't go on like that, girl.
387
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,190
I get fed up, you see,
stuck in here like this.
388
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,038
Oh, I know, I know.
389
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,570
It's not very easy
for me, and now you
390
00:23:32,571 --> 00:23:35,074
won't even help to
fill the form out.
391
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:38,999
It's too much, Percy.
It's too much for me.
392
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,110
Well... Well, look,
I'm sorry, girl.
393
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,152
I'm sorry. Percy'll
kiss it better?
394
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,033
Marge, I...
395
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:55,034
You'll have to come closer, girl.
You see, I can't move, you know.
396
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,988
Oh, untie my hand,
nurse, will you, please?
397
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,031
Not yet. You might
fall asleep again.
398
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,244
Oh, take all these
screens away, nurse.
399
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:09,119
I can't bear being
shut in. Please.
400
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,151
All right.
401
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,191
Oh, my little boy.
402
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,993
Cor, you should see his right
when he punches our cat.
403
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,234
Ooh.
404
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,230
Hello. I'm Jill Thompson.
405
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,231
Harry Thompson's sister.
406
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,231
Oh, yes, of course.
407
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,991
Do sit down, please.
408
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,151
Harry's sorry he couldn't get
here. Well, he sent some books.
409
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,191
Oh, thank you.
410
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,191
Problems Of Radiation.
411
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,158
Nuclear Physics Advanced
Theory. Oh, splendid.
412
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,997
What's this?
413
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,076
Wakefield's Practical Surgery?
414
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,398
Oh, Harry must have put
that in by mistake.
415
00:25:09,399 --> 00:25:10,399
Never mind.
416
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,151
Yes. It looks absorbing enough.
417
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,229
Yes, indeed.
418
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,152
You look pale, though. There's
no getting away from it.
419
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,151
Ah, it's probably
cos I can't sleep.
420
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,191
- Being away from you, I expect.
- Ssh.
421
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,071
No, honest.
422
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:27,078
Well, you must sleep. Ask
the doctor for something.
423
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,633
Don't be silly. He can't
give me what I need.
424
00:25:28,634 --> 00:25:29,650
Bert.
425
00:25:29,651 --> 00:25:30,997
Well.
426
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:36,112
I'm awfully sorry. I do
appreciate your bringing them.
427
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,071
Harry told me you
live for your work.
428
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,111
Where have we met before?
429
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,164
I have a curious
feeling we've met.
430
00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:43,165
At home, once.
431
00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:45,111
Oh, yes.
432
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,190
- How are you getting on?
- All right, thank you.
433
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,191
That's good.
434
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,056
Is there anything
else I can bring you?
435
00:25:55,057 --> 00:25:56,112
Oh, no. No, thanks.
436
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,579
Visiting time's nearly
over. I think I'll go.
437
00:25:59,580 --> 00:26:00,609
Must you?
438
00:26:00,610 --> 00:26:02,196
Perhaps I'll look
in again sometime.
439
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,117
You might want something.
440
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,111
Oh, do. It's most kind.
441
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,151
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
442
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,191
Cor.
443
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,034
You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, Oliver.
444
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,039
Cor. What a way to treat
your nice girlfriend.
445
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,155
She is not my girlfriend.
446
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,191
Ooh.
447
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,031
She'd like to be, mate.
448
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:29,199
Yeah, you can take it from
me. She'd like to be.
449
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,077
Oh, Nurse Dawson. Visiting time's
over. Ring the bell, will you?
450
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,111
Yes, Sister.
451
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,155
All right, I'm coming.
452
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,036
Seconds out.
453
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,991
- Nurse Dawson.
- Yes, Sister?
454
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,536
I thought I told you
to ring the bell.
455
00:27:06,537 --> 00:27:07,537
I did, Sister.
456
00:27:07,538 --> 00:27:08,966
Then why are the
visitors still here?
457
00:27:08,967 --> 00:27:10,158
Well, I don't know, I...
458
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,191
Oh, crikey.
459
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,236
What's the matter, Mr
York? Can't you sleep?
460
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,117
Wind?
461
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,151
Nurse.
462
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,151
- Staff?
- Yes?
463
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,658
Sorry about last night.
I was a bad boy.
464
00:27:36,659 --> 00:27:37,994
Oh, I've seen worse.
465
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,156
- Do you like night work?
- Yes.
466
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,033
- Nice and peaceful?
- Sometimes.
467
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,191
- Good night.
- Good night.
468
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,231
Oh, thanks, nurse.
469
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,151
Oh, my gut.
470
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,109
Hello, you're early.
471
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,312
Sister told me to
sterilise these catheters
472
00:28:04,313 --> 00:28:06,073
last night. It went
out of my head.
473
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,139
I've just got time.
474
00:28:07,140 --> 00:28:09,032
You haven't. The
steriliser's full.
475
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,031
Oh, crikey.
476
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,629
Don't panic. I'll put them
in a kidney dish on the
477
00:28:13,630 --> 00:28:16,029
gas stove for you, if
you'll see what he wants.
478
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,109
Ok, thanks.
479
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,118
- What is it, Colonel?
- Hello, you're early.
480
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,072
Well, anyone would think I
was always four hours late.
481
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,150
- What can I do for you?
- Dashed if I can remember.
482
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,993
Coming in early, you've put
it right out of my head.
483
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,998
Suppose you buzz again when you
remember. If it's important.
484
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,235
What do you mean, "if"? Of course
it's imp... Oh, I remember.
485
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,198
It's my pulse, it's racing.
Like I ought to be today.
486
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:44,034
- It's your imagination, Colonel.
- Positively pounding, I tell you.
487
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,196
You're feeling the wrong
place. Give it me.
488
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,191
- What did I tell you?
- Ssh.
489
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,150
- Quite normal.
- Impossible.
490
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,078
Patients aren't allowed
to contradict.
491
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,231
Hello. You're early.
492
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,232
The next person says that to me,
I'll spit right in their eye.
493
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,505
Good morning, Nurse
Dawson. You're early.
494
00:29:05,506 --> 00:29:07,153
Yes, Sister. Morning, Sister.
495
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,344
Is it a matter of life
and death, Colonel?
496
00:29:43,345 --> 00:29:44,345
No, but...
497
00:29:44,346 --> 00:29:46,071
Well, then, please wait.
498
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,036
- Morning, Matron.
- Morning, Doctor.
499
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,110
- Good morning, Matron.
- Good morning, Sister.
500
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,803
Those screens are untidy, Sister.
501
00:30:30,804 --> 00:30:32,112
I'll see to them at once.
502
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,998
- Good morning, Mr Reckitt.
- Good morning, Matron.
503
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,190
Your temperature's behaving
very oddly, I see.
504
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,231
Perhaps it'll settle
down when I get up.
505
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,993
- Tomorrow, Mr Stephens said.
- Good.
506
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,234
Don't study too hard.
507
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,992
I don't know any other way
to absorb knowledge, Matron.
508
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,236
- Good morning, Mr Bishop.
- Good morning, Matron.
509
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,195
- Mr Bishop is a boxer, Matron.
- How interesting.
510
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,743
And how did this unfortunate
accident occur?
511
00:30:58,744 --> 00:31:00,074
Oh, it was in a fight.
512
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,152
The fourth round of an eliminating
contest. I'm a contender, you see.
513
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,118
Well, the bell goes, so I comes
out my corner like the clappers.
514
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:07,160
The clappers?
515
00:31:07,161 --> 00:31:09,152
That is a boxing term,
I believe, Matron.
516
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,031
How very interesting.
517
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,710
Yeah. Well, I gave him
a couple of lefts...
518
00:31:12,711 --> 00:31:14,191
like that, you know.
Right in the gut.
519
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,152
I could have shook hands with
his spine. His guard dropped,
520
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,897
so I clocked him,
dead on the button.
521
00:31:18,898 --> 00:31:20,237
That was the end of the bout.
522
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,037
Broke my hand.
523
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:28,034
Well, Mr Bishop, I hope you
recover like... the clappers.
524
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:32,073
Well, thanks very much, missus.
Er... Matron. Very nice.
525
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,191
Phwoo.
526
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,146
Cor. What a stink.
527
00:32:01,147 --> 00:32:03,191
The cook appears to be improving.
528
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,074
- Sister, investigate that odour.
- Yes, certainly, Matron.
529
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,191
Ow. Ow.
530
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,191
You idiot.
531
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,231
Oh, I'm so sorry, Sister.
532
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,698
You really are a
complete fool, aren't
533
00:32:22,699 --> 00:32:25,030
you? And during
Matron's round, too.
534
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,071
Go into my office and wait for me.
535
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,071
Oh.
536
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,110
Everything's quite all
right now, Matron.
537
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,150
Nurse Dawson, how dare
you burst in like that.
538
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,077
Oh, just a minute.
539
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,197
- Ruddy thing.
- It's Matron's round.
540
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,077
Well, mine's a pint.
541
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,197
Nurse, what is it? I told
you to wait in my office.
542
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,158
I did, Sister. There was a phone
call. Emergency admission.
543
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,191
Very well. Carry on, nurse.
544
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,038
We shall just have room. Mr
Jackson's going home today.
545
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,991
I wonder whether perhaps...
546
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,112
I'm quite capable of continuing
my round alone, Sister.
547
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,071
Oh, thank you very much, Matron.
548
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,077
Nurse Dawson.
549
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,032
Are you training for
nursing or demolition?
550
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,072
I'm sorry, Sister.
551
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,239
Yes, Colonel?
552
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,999
I heard a crash. What's going on?
553
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,076
- Oh, nothing.
- Staff Nurse.
554
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,189
Staff Nurse.
555
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,191
Oh, I can never find
you when I want you.
556
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,152
- What did you want, Sister?
- An emergency admission.
557
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,156
- Yes, Sister? What sort of case?
- What?
558
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,609
Stupid Nurse Dawson
didn't get the details.
559
00:33:44,610 --> 00:33:46,153
Shall I telephone, Sister?
560
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,132
I'm quite capable of
making a telephone
561
00:33:48,133 --> 00:33:50,113
call for myself, thank
you, Staff Nurse.
562
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,038
Please get Mr Jackson's bed
ready for the admission.
563
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,031
Yes, Sister.
564
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,189
Been starving yourself, Mr Grey?
565
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:11,152
Couldn't eat. Such
pain... last night.
566
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,181
Good. That means we
don't have to starve
567
00:34:13,182 --> 00:34:15,113
you and I can operate
that much sooner.
568
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:19,073
Nurse. I'll operate tonight.
569
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,111
Yes, Mr Stephens.
570
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,162
What's all this in aid of, nurse?
571
00:34:43,163 --> 00:34:45,033
Massage. To prevent bed sores.
572
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,031
Oh, yeah?
573
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,076
Getting to the bottom
of the trouble?
574
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,111
That's right.
575
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,155
Ooh.
576
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,191
Ah. Lovely.
577
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,036
Whoa.
578
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,080
Anything wrong?
579
00:35:12,081 --> 00:35:14,072
Oh, no, no, no. Very
nice, thank you.
580
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,080
Whoo.
581
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,151
Phew.
582
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:35,198
Janey... Supposing I
couldn't ever fight again?
583
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,071
Just suppose.
584
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,117
Deep down, would you
really be pleased?
585
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,191
Well, I don't like you fighting.
586
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,033
Sometimes I can
hardly bear to look.
587
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,866
But you're happy
when you're pushing
588
00:35:51,867 --> 00:35:54,039
someone's face into the
middle of next week.
589
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,031
And I like to see you happy.
590
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,150
So you get that hand better
and come out fighting.
591
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,271
I'm glad I married you, Jane.
592
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,997
I've got a surprise for you.
593
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,235
- Pickled red cabbage?
- It's not red, it's ginger.
594
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,999
- My manager.
- I'll send him along.
595
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,235
What a pity I'm not allowed
to bring the children.
596
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,165
Yes, it's allowed in
the private wards.
597
00:36:17,166 --> 00:36:19,073
Oh, well, we couldn't afford that.
598
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,151
- Hush.
- What?
599
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,037
Oh, nothing.
600
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,112
Rhoda, dear, do try to
say pardon, not what.
601
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,116
Sorry, Henry. Do you like this?
602
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,151
What? I mean, pardon?
603
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,157
- Oh, yes. Oh, very nice. Yes.
- For when you come home.
604
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,078
I bought it with our
divvy from the Cop.
605
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,229
Rhoda, please.
606
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,116
- What's the matter, dear?
- Oh, never mind.
607
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,031
Any other news?
608
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,235
Ooh. We've had a letter
from the building society.
609
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,033
Rhoda.
610
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,033
- Ginge.
- Bernie.
611
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,071
Norm as well.
612
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,111
Come on in.
613
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,078
Well, how are you, Bernie boy?
614
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,038
You look great. Just
great, son. Great.
615
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,219
Well, give him the
flowers, then. You'll
616
00:37:07,220 --> 00:37:08,993
choke 'em gripping 'em like that.
617
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,076
Ta. Ta, Norm, my old
sparring partner.
618
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,997
- How are you, mate?
- Yeah, fine.
619
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:14,109
Yeah, he's fine.
620
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,149
No one will ever know
how I suffered when
621
00:37:16,150 --> 00:37:18,233
you busted your hand
like that, Bernie boy.
622
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:23,073
Hey, Ginger, why haven't you come
in here to see me before now?
623
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,112
Well, as it happens, I have got
a reason for coming to see you.
624
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:30,113
That is, a reason over and above
my natural, warm and human concern
625
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,190
as a manager for one of my boys.
626
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,157
I am a showman. But I have an
unpleasant duty to perform.
627
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,191
I have come here to
give you a thick ear.
628
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,892
I won, didn't I? This was an
629
00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:44,074
accident, you know,
but I beat him.
630
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,931
Too true, you won. Too
flipping fast, you won.
631
00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:48,193
But I had him beat.
632
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,192
What do you expect me to do? Dance
the cha-cha for five rounds?
633
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:53,276
You're being flippant,
but I'm glad
634
00:37:53,277 --> 00:37:55,199
to see you've got the right idea.
635
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,158
- I don't understand.
- You don't understand.
636
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,151
I'm a showman. That's
what you've got to be.
637
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,192
You've reached the stage now where
you're right in the public eye.
638
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:06,993
What you need is a gimmick.
639
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,075
- Gimmick?
- Gimmick.
640
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,189
Belt up. Yeah, a gimmick.
641
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:12,038
Something the public
associates with you alone.
642
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,196
You remember Frisco Freddie.
You remember Frisco.
643
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,151
- Frisco, yeah.
- Yeah, that's right.
644
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,993
He was a boxer who used to
ride punches all the time.
645
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,077
Exactly. He used to ride 'em.
Ride 'em. The crowd loved it.
646
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,190
Yeah, well, look, I could do that.
647
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:27,232
Here, Norm. You used to train
with Frisco, didn't you?
648
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,462
You used to train with
Frisco, didn't you?
649
00:38:29,463 --> 00:38:30,463
That's right.
650
00:38:30,464 --> 00:38:32,214
Well, come on, then.
Let's show Bern
651
00:38:32,215 --> 00:38:34,028
how you used to spar with Frisco.
652
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:38,119
Here. I tell you, it was Marv...
He was just like a ballet dancer.
653
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,111
And he used to punch...
654
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,031
Hold that. Right, easy now.
655
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,116
Punch, ride. Punch, ride.
656
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,078
Punch, ride. Punch, ride. He
used to ride the lot, he did.
657
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,998
Until he was ready,
and then... bosh.
658
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,996
Knocked 'em cold, it did.
659
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,111
- Nurse.
- Nurse.
660
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,151
Just a minute, Mr York.
661
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:07,241
Hello. What's that?
662
00:39:07,242 --> 00:39:09,197
For your bowels. Sit down, please.
663
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,948
Have you... given one
of these before?
664
00:39:11,949 --> 00:39:13,995
Oh, good gracious. Hundreds.
665
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,155
Get it down, now.
666
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,229
Other end, nurse.
667
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:22,157
Never mind. With a face like mine,
it's a mistake anyone might make.
668
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,998
Persecution. That's what
it is, persecution.
669
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,755
I shall write to the
Minister for Health.
670
00:39:28,756 --> 00:39:30,237
Never mind, you'll
live through it.
671
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,991
It's a miracle you do.
672
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,032
You all ought to strike. One
day, that's all it would take.
673
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,731
One day, and the
nursing profession
674
00:39:37,732 --> 00:39:39,152
would advance a hundred years.
675
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,112
Why don't you organise a
march to Downing Street?
676
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,196
And Sister Anna will
carry the banner.
677
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:48,028
Oh. The whole fat-headed
farce makes me puke.
678
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,071
There. That's you settled.
679
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,117
Settled? Huh. I feel about as
settled as an active volcano.
680
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:46,117
Please don't lie on top of the
bed clothes. Matron's rule.
681
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,196
- Oh, sorry.
- In bed or out, but never on.
682
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:50,231
- Do please try and remember.
- Ok, ok.
683
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,238
- Everything all right, Mr Bishop?
- Fine thanks, Matron.
684
00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:57,971
My hand's getting better.
Sort of knitting.
685
00:40:57,972 --> 00:41:00,109
Excellent. Keep up the good work.
686
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,151
Everything all right, Mr Reckitt?
687
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:08,192
Medically, yes, Matron.
Otherwise, no.
688
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,191
This is my first day out of bed.
689
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,988
I have to move about, I am
told, yet rest when tired.
690
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,077
As I have stitches in my stomach,
all movement is painful.
691
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,072
Oh, I'm afraid there's nothing I
can do about that, Mr Reckitt.
692
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,189
I realise that, Matron.
693
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,153
I wonder, though, if you could
satisfy my curiosity on one point.
694
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,118
I will try. What is the
point, Mr Reckitt?
695
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:32,073
Why must I endure the extra pain
of getting into and out of bed
696
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,194
when I can rest
just as effectively
697
00:41:34,195 --> 00:41:36,073
lying on top of the bedclothes?
698
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,293
I don't like to see
men lying about.
699
00:41:38,294 --> 00:41:40,113
It makes the ward look untidy.
700
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,156
I see. It isn't a medical rule.
701
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,156
I don't see what that
has to do with it.
702
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,151
I'll explain, Matron.
703
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:51,039
If a doctor asks me to hang
by one arm from the ceiling,
704
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,184
wearing an aqualung, with
my birthday tattooed
705
00:41:54,185 --> 00:41:57,155
on my left buttock in
shorthand, I'll do it.
706
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,191
He aims to cure me.
707
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:01,778
Your rule has nothing
to do with my cure.
708
00:42:01,779 --> 00:42:04,075
Therefore, it has
no meaning in here.
709
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,032
- Mr Reckitt...
- Excuse me.
710
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,271
I wish to rest.
711
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,272
Sorry, Matron. I thought
your round was over.
712
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,075
I'm so sorry...
713
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,946
Sister, this ward is the slackest
714
00:42:26,947 --> 00:42:29,039
in the hospital.
And the untidiest.
715
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,080
Oh, but Matron...
716
00:42:30,081 --> 00:42:32,197
See that all the beds
are remade at once.
717
00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:34,270
All the beds?
718
00:42:34,271 --> 00:42:37,153
I think you heard
what I said, Sister.
719
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,191
Good morning.
720
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,100
Staff Nurse, this
ward's a disgrace.
721
00:42:43,101 --> 00:42:44,679
You have no control
over the nurses.
722
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:45,680
But, Sister.
723
00:42:45,681 --> 00:42:47,196
It's time we had a
little discipline.
724
00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:49,231
- Remake all the beds.
- The beds?
725
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,496
Beds, beds, beds. Are you deaf?
726
00:42:51,497 --> 00:42:54,189
B-E-D-S. Go and do
it at once. Now.
727
00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:57,038
Yes, Sister.
728
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,196
Nurse Axwell. Nurse Axwell.
729
00:42:59,240 --> 00:43:01,231
- Yes, Staff?
- Come here.
730
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:03,424
Get new bedclothes
for the whole ward.
731
00:43:03,425 --> 00:43:04,425
Today?
732
00:43:04,426 --> 00:43:07,038
Not tomorrow, not
Christmas, but today.
733
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,150
T-O-D-A-Y. Today.
734
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,151
Nurse Dawson.
735
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,112
- Nurse Dawson.
- Yes?
736
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,072
- Yes what?
- Yes, nurse.
737
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:18,120
Get you.
738
00:43:18,121 --> 00:43:20,112
Oh, you're so rude,
you student nurses.
739
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,744
Come and help me get fresh linen.
740
00:43:21,745 --> 00:43:23,152
But this isn't the day for...
741
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,994
One more word out of you and
I'll report you. Now come along.
742
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,189
Yes, nurse.
743
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:32,118
- Ooh.
- Oh, you clumsy great oaf.
744
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,151
- Well, look who's talking.
- Oh.
745
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,031
- Ah, good morning.
- Good morning.
746
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,038
- Got any fruit bars?
- No. I've got a sliced nut.
747
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,998
Come to the right place
to have it mended.
748
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,191
Oh, dear.
749
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:57,038
- Sit down, Mr York.
- Ah, hello.
750
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,149
I wanted to a...
751
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,190
- How am I doing?
- Both up slightly.
752
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,111
Any idea why?
753
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,004
You know, nursing training
is right out of date.
754
00:44:24,005 --> 00:44:25,119
What do you mean?
755
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,074
Well, they should have
taught you that there
756
00:44:27,075 --> 00:44:29,159
isn't always a medical
reason for a fast pulse.
757
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,071
- Hello, chaps.
- Mr Bell?
758
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,111
Ding-dong, you're not wrong.
759
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,111
This way, please.
760
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,156
Hello. Hello.
761
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,111
Get into bed, Mr Bell.
762
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,112
I say, nurse. I'm going to be in
and out of here inside a few days.
763
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,285
Surely I don't have
to go to bye-byes.
764
00:44:48,286 --> 00:44:49,286
In.
765
00:44:49,287 --> 00:44:51,031
Oh, what a bore.
766
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,031
Oh, well, you're the governor.
767
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:58,074
- What's the matter with him?
- Mrs Dale's Diary.
768
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,111
Tails.
769
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:01,997
You lose.
770
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:05,077
Every five minutes. He's
becoming impossible.
771
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,195
Well?
772
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:09,078
There's a big, annoying
lump in my bed.
773
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,190
There is. I mean, there is?
774
00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:12,658
Where's that fellow Mick?
775
00:45:12,659 --> 00:45:15,074
He's not allowed in
here, and you know it.
776
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:18,157
If Sister catches him putting on
bets for you, we'll all be sacked.
777
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,072
Get a telephone installed in
here and I can do it myself.
778
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:22,320
What do you think
this is, an hotel?
779
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,157
- Hey... Oliver?
- Mm?
780
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,151
I've been meaning to ask you.
781
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,533
Was it the anaesthetic,
or did I really see a
782
00:45:33,534 --> 00:45:36,069
real nice girl come to
visit you the other night?
783
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,071
A girl.
784
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:41,653
Did I see a girl come to see you?
785
00:45:41,654 --> 00:45:42,654
Yes.
786
00:45:42,655 --> 00:45:44,231
Very nice too?
787
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:47,038
You're a lucky fella.
788
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,196
- What?
- I said you're a lucky bloke.
789
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,116
What on earth are
you talking about?
790
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,032
Oh, never mind.
791
00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,231
Urgh.
792
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,998
It's very kind of you to show
me the way, Mr Stephens.
793
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,032
Oh, I like to make newcomers
feel thoroughly at home.
794
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,031
Thank you again.
795
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,776
We must have a drink
together tonight.
796
00:46:11,777 --> 00:46:13,112
To celebrate your first case.
797
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,196
- Must we?
- But of course.
798
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:17,231
We've a lot to talk about.
799
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:20,994
- Such as?
- Why, surgery, of course.
800
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,190
You're too kind. And optimistic.
801
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,078
- I might botch the case.
- Oh, you won't.
802
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,111
Good luck.
803
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,150
Good afternoon, Dr Winn.
804
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,152
Good afternoon, Staff Nurse.
Mr Bell's arrived, I believe?
805
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,077
This way, Doctor.
806
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,998
- Good afternoon, Mr Bell.
- Good afternoon.
807
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,398
Hallux valgus. Straight
out of the book, nurse.
808
00:46:53,399 --> 00:46:54,399
Yes, Doctor.
809
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,037
I'll operate tomorrow morning.
810
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,675
Nothing to eat for
you today, Mr Bell.
811
00:46:57,676 --> 00:46:59,231
Of course not,
darling. Er... doctor.
812
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,991
Thank you, nurse.
813
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,190
- Wow.
- Ravishing.
814
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,231
She can take out
my drain any time.
815
00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:15,119
Phwoar. She's all the
compensation I'd want.
816
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:19,039
Cor. How about a couple
of rounds with her?
817
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,109
Winner take all.
818
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,236
The sex-mad fools.
819
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,194
Anyone for water?
820
00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:28,038
Hey, Mick. Where have you
been hiding Dr Winn?
821
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,110
Yeah, why wasn't we
done by her, then?
822
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:34,193
Oh, she's new and junior. Only
handling simple cases for a while.
823
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:36,231
What have you got, Mr Bell?
824
00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:39,152
- A hallux valgus.
- Oh, a bunion.
825
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:44,149
Cor blimey. Do you mean
he gets her for a bunion?
826
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:46,111
Yes, Colonel?
827
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,994
Sorry to be a nuisance, my dear,
but my bandage has slipped.
828
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,109
That's all right.
829
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,789
Well, I ought to
know. It's flapping
830
00:47:54,790 --> 00:47:56,197
about like a flag at half-mast.
831
00:47:58,240 --> 00:48:01,994
- Any idea what won the 2:30?
- None at all.
832
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,076
What? I thought you were
interested in racing.
833
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:06,134
All I'm interested in
is getting you settled
834
00:48:06,135 --> 00:48:08,238
so I can get on with
something more important.
835
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:11,073
- Oh, dear. Aren't I important?
- As a patient, yes.
836
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,111
As a congenital gambler, no.
837
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:14,780
My dear girl, your
values are all wrong.
838
00:48:14,781 --> 00:48:16,237
It ought to be the
other way round.
839
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,070
- What, the bandage?
- No, no. You know what I mean.
840
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,997
- Where's Mick?
- He's busy.
841
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:22,896
He won't be too busy
to come and see me.
842
00:48:22,897 --> 00:48:24,191
If he's any sense, he will.
843
00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:27,198
- There. Is that better?
- Yes. Thank you very much indeed.
844
00:48:27,240 --> 00:48:30,118
Oh, nurse, don't forget
about Mick, will you?
845
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,236
I love 'em.
846
00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:48,306
There you are,
poppet. To celebrate
847
00:48:48,307 --> 00:48:50,028
tomorrow, when it's all over.
848
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:51,195
Oh, Megsy, you're a darling.
849
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:54,198
- Anything else I can bring you?
- Only yourself, sweetie.
850
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,191
Every single day.
851
00:48:56,240 --> 00:48:58,231
- How's my car?
- Oh, not to worry, darling.
852
00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:00,245
I took it in for
servicing and it'll be
853
00:49:00,246 --> 00:49:02,199
all ready in time for
our little trip.
854
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:05,232
I booked secluded little
hotels all along our route.
855
00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:08,073
- Separate rooms, of course.
- Oh, just think of it.
856
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,157
A whole week together in
er... separate rooms.
857
00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:14,071
Oh, wacko.
858
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,111
Starting one week from now.
859
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:19,032
You're sure your silly old
bunion will be settled by then?
860
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:22,072
Megsy, darling, everything
will be settled by then.
861
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:24,229
Oh, Jack.
862
00:49:25,240 --> 00:49:27,955
Hey, Janey, I wonder
if he'll forget me.
863
00:49:27,956 --> 00:49:29,028
Of course not.
864
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:31,031
Oh, I don't know.
Kids do, you know.
865
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,072
- I heard of a case once.
- Not in these few days, silly.
866
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,038
- Is there anything you want?
- Yeah. Pickled red cabbage.
867
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,376
I don't know if you'd be allowed.
868
00:49:38,377 --> 00:49:39,377
Of course I would.
869
00:49:39,378 --> 00:49:42,033
My hand's got nothing to
do with my belly, has it?
870
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,422
Well, I'll ask the sister anyway.
871
00:49:43,423 --> 00:49:44,423
Oh, don't go now.
872
00:49:44,424 --> 00:49:47,112
I have to, darling. I've left
the baby with Mrs Williams.
873
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,151
Oh, yeah. Oh, well.
874
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,151
Give him a kiss from me, will you?
875
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,235
See you tomorrow.
876
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:54,231
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
877
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:05,032
- Expecting her, Oliver?
- Of course not.
878
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:09,039
I've got far more important things
to worry about than entanglements.
879
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:15,073
It's so sensible having afternoon
visiting on half-day closing.
880
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,998
Mind you, I expect I could
get away from work anyway.
881
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,235
Rhoda, my dear, keep
your voice down, dear.
882
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,116
No need to let everyone
know you go to work.
883
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,489
Oh, really, Henry.
If I didn't know you
884
00:50:26,490 --> 00:50:29,109
better, sometimes I'd
think you were a snob.
885
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,111
I really would.
886
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,190
You're sure you asked for
something to make you sleep?
887
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,077
Yes, love. Gonna have it tonight.
888
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:38,944
Senacol, or Sinacol, or something.
889
00:50:38,945 --> 00:50:40,078
Oh, that's a relief.
890
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,053
I'd rather have a pint
of old and mild. I
891
00:50:42,054 --> 00:50:44,079
told 'em too, but they
don't know anything.
892
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,071
- Oh, Bert.
- Well, they don't.
893
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:56,078
Miss Thompson. I was
just thinking about you.
894
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:57,120
Oh, were you?
895
00:50:57,121 --> 00:50:59,078
I've been thinking
about you constantly.
896
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,792
Miss Thom... Jill,
tell me something.
897
00:51:01,793 --> 00:51:04,029
I've been thinking of you too.
898
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:05,641
Ever since you came
to our house. But
899
00:51:05,642 --> 00:51:07,157
Harry said you'd
no time for girls.
900
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,033
Your brother will be a
marvellous doctor someday,
901
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:12,076
but he knows very little
about the human heart.
902
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,111
- Oh, Oliver.
- Jill.
903
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,190
- I brought you some nougat.
- Nougat?
904
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,033
- Don't you like it?
- I love it.
905
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:23,031
Oh, isn't that wonderful?
906
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,071
We like the same things.
907
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,076
Oh, I hate to go. There's
so much I want to say.
908
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,324
Visit me again,
every day. Promise?
909
00:51:31,325 --> 00:51:32,325
Promise.
910
00:51:32,326 --> 00:51:34,071
- Jill.
- Oliver.
911
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,192
I told ya. She's stuck on ya.
912
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,191
Come in.
913
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,190
Nurse Nightingale
reporting, Staff.
914
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,384
I've been sent here
by Night Sister.
915
00:52:12,385 --> 00:52:13,385
Oh, yes.
916
00:52:13,386 --> 00:52:15,156
We have to special a
patient. Mr Mayhew.
917
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,384
Have you worked on a
surgical ward before?
918
00:52:17,385 --> 00:52:18,385
No, Staff.
919
00:52:18,386 --> 00:52:19,746
I'm on first-year
nights. I've only
920
00:52:19,747 --> 00:52:21,192
been on Women's Medical so far.
921
00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:23,231
Come with me.
922
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,033
Now, listen. This is a
gastrectomy patient.
923
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:42,152
He's lost a lot of blood and
he's having a blood transfusion.
924
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,187
While he's unconscious,
all you have to do
925
00:52:44,188 --> 00:52:46,119
is see that the needle
doesn't come out.
926
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,151
- Yes, Staff.
- And don't leave him.
927
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:49,809
If there's anything
you want to know,
928
00:52:49,810 --> 00:52:51,197
if you're in any sort of doubt,
929
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:54,152
just press that button and Nurse
James or I will be along.
930
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,158
I understand. Leave
it to me, Staff.
931
00:53:08,240 --> 00:53:11,232
I thought you'd like some tea.
This is a very boring job.
932
00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:16,231
Thanks, nurse.
933
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,031
Staff...
934
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:46,151
he's dead.
935
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,156
Stand by. It's going to
be that sort of a night.
936
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,151
Nurse.
937
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,071
I think I feel sick.
938
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,071
Hold it.
939
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,191
Now, sit up.
940
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,991
Staff, he opened his eyes.
941
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:56,155
Really?
942
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,993
Yes, opened and closed
them. Just like this.
943
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:05,034
Very interesting. If it
happens again, just call me.
944
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,110
- I'd like to see that.
- You would?
945
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,037
Oh, really.
946
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:32,196
What can you expect, eating
filthy stuff like this?
947
00:55:32,240 --> 00:55:36,028
It wasn't that. It was that
compost heap we had for supper.
948
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,071
- I shall write to my MP.
- You do that.
949
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,071
Do you feel better now?
950
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,032
When are we going to get a new
sluice, Staff? That old thing...
951
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,992
Never mind about the sluice.
Go and have a look at Mr Able.
952
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:03,669
He's on Sinacol. One
never knows how
953
00:56:03,670 --> 00:56:05,077
it's going to take some people.
954
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,563
I thought it only affected
old men peculiarly.
955
00:56:07,564 --> 00:56:09,159
Well, in here, they age fast.
956
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,077
Mr Able.
957
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,036
Are you feeling all
right, Mr Able?
958
00:56:29,037 --> 00:56:30,072
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
959
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:31,195
I'm going for a swim.
960
00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:33,765
Oh, no, you settle down.
Get back into bed.
961
00:56:33,766 --> 00:56:35,028
No, you settle down.
962
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,992
- Now where's the sea?
- Argh.
963
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,118
Ho, ho, ho, ho. Take
that. That's right.
964
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:49,033
Impertinence.
965
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,112
- What the devil's going on?
- Nothing.
966
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,076
- Mr Able.
- Get your clothes off, girl.
967
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:03,236
You can't swim with your
clothes on. Come along now.
968
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,991
Look. Look. Look.
969
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,109
Look there. A mermaid.
970
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:25,195
Ha-ha.
971
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,071
Look out, he's coming back.
972
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,997
Streamers.
973
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,078
Streamers.
974
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,156
Streamers.
975
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,078
Streamers. Streamers.
976
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,625
What the blue blazes is going on?
977
00:57:46,626 --> 00:57:48,039
Nothing, Colonel.
978
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:53,118
Nothing, indeed. I'll jolly
well go and find out.
979
00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:59,037
Ow.
980
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:00,109
Ooh, lovely, girls.
981
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:08,038
My leg. My flaming leg.
982
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,998
- No. No.
- Allow me, nurse, please.
983
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,076
- Mr Bishop.
- It's all right, I used my left.
984
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:16,076
What about my perishing leg?
985
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,031
- Are you all right?
- Yes, thank you.
986
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:19,189
Look, I hope I haven't hurt him.
987
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,151
- Go back to bed, Mr Bishop.
- Ok.
988
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,112
Nurse, call the houseman
to look at Mr Able's jaw.
989
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:28,353
Colonel, will you go
back to bed this minute.
990
00:58:28,354 --> 00:58:30,153
I haven't had time
to lay the odds.
991
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,033
Now, then, Mr Hickson.
What's happened to you?
992
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,110
Nothing, nurse. I
always sleep like this.
993
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,231
I'll soon get you that meal.
994
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,230
He's fine. He'd like
some steak and chips.
995
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:46,028
You can have a little sterile
water... for breakfast.
996
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:49,038
Now, lie still and don't let
that needle slip. Understand?
997
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:50,115
Yes, nurse.
998
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:52,111
Come out of here now.
999
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,484
See that man over there
without any trousers?
1000
00:58:57,485 --> 00:58:58,485
Oh, yes.
1001
00:58:58,486 --> 00:59:01,116
Well, get some on him
and put him to bed.
1002
00:59:01,117 --> 00:59:02,117
Yes, Staff.
1003
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,191
Fingers in ears.
1004
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,998
- This is ridi... culous.
- Drink.
1005
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:21,155
- I've done it, Staff.
- Good.
1006
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:24,033
Take over here.
1007
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:27,231
- Fingers in ears, please.
- I can't.
1008
00:59:27,610 --> 00:59:28,610
Come on, now.
1009
00:59:28,611 --> 00:59:30,195
I think I'm going
to be sick again.
1010
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,150
- Is Mr Able's jaw broken?
- I hope not.
1011
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:46,078
You said it was going to
be that kind of a night.
1012
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:50,033
Excuse me. Oh, he's perfectly all
right, Staff. Just a drop or two.
1013
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:52,031
Oh, good show.
1014
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,112
- Argh.
- The daft old sluice.
1015
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:07,111
Oh.
1016
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,032
It's different from the one
in Women's Medical, Staff.
1017
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:20,230
Wetter, would you
say? Go and change.
1018
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,117
I can't, Staff.
1019
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:25,152
I can't see to get
to the nurses' home.
1020
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,998
My spectacles have
gone down the sluice.
1021
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:31,994
Nurse, will you take Nurse
Nightingale to the nurses' home?
1022
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,031
Yes, Staff.
1023
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,071
Thank you.
1024
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:47,751
Now, when do I have my injection?
1025
01:00:47,752 --> 01:00:50,073
Just as soon as they tell
me to give it to you.
1026
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:53,038
Oh, the waiting. The
uncertainty. The starvation.
1027
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,116
- Oh, God.
- Oh, don't be such a baby.
1028
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:56,700
Your op's nothing to worry about.
1029
01:00:56,701 --> 01:00:58,197
My only worry is I won't get it.
1030
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:02,193
Supposing I lose another day. Oh,
Jiminy, what a flaming muddle.
1031
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,176
Ah, Mr Bell. Back
into bed at once.
1032
01:01:04,177 --> 01:01:05,988
You're on this afternoon's list.
1033
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,031
Sister. I could kiss you.
1034
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:10,997
Ho-ho.
1035
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,071
- Mr Bell.
- Ding-dong, carry on.
1036
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:17,076
I say, fellows. What do you know?
1037
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:18,572
Tonight, they're talking about the
1038
01:01:18,573 --> 01:01:20,237
Health Service in
At Home And Abroad.
1039
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:22,231
Oh, I say. What jolly fun.
1040
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:25,073
Isn't it, Percival?
And guess what?
1041
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:29,159
Last year, the whole thing
cost 585 million pounds.
1042
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:32,112
Get out of it. I don't believe it.
1043
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:34,071
The man just said so.
1044
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:36,190
I tell you, it's impossible.
1045
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,236
Ask him again.
1046
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,991
I say, would you mind
repeating that...
1047
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:43,998
You know, I nearly did.
1048
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:52,158
Nurse. Oh, you haven't injected
Mr Bell. Thank goodness.
1049
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:54,223
He can't be operated
on today. We have
1050
01:01:54,224 --> 01:01:56,233
eight emergencies
coming. Road smash.
1051
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:59,198
Eight? That makes my
bunion look a bit silly.
1052
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,424
Oh, you'd better put
your pyjamas back on.
1053
01:02:01,425 --> 01:02:02,425
Yes.
1054
01:02:02,426 --> 01:02:04,227
Well, no. I say, nurse,
can't they squeeze
1055
01:02:04,228 --> 01:02:06,159
me in? I've simply got
to be done today.
1056
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:09,158
I'm surprised at you. I didn't
think you'd be so selfish.
1057
01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:12,118
Selfish? If you knew what
depended... Oh, by Jiminy.
1058
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:16,039
Look, I've got a whole schedule.
The bunion can wait. I can't.
1059
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:17,991
I'm going to discharge
myself. Ooh.
1060
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,156
But you can't do that. If
anything happens to you...
1061
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:22,993
- What could happen from a bunion?
- You never know.
1062
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:24,853
An article in the
Nursing Mirror...
1063
01:02:24,854 --> 01:02:25,998
I don't want to hear.
1064
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:28,235
Well, don't do anything
hasty. You think about it.
1065
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:34,191
I say, nurse... could I
have something to eat?
1066
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:40,038
Where do you think
you're going, Mr York?
1067
01:02:41,799 --> 01:02:42,799
America?
1068
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:45,077
I'm applying for a job.
What's your problem?
1069
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:47,071
Oh, I er... I want the bath.
1070
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:48,491
Suppose you fall with the drain in
1071
01:02:48,492 --> 01:02:50,152
you. No, Mr York.
Back to bed, please.
1072
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:53,192
But it's been six days now. I've
been picked up twice by radar.
1073
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:55,231
Please let me have a
bath. I'll be careful.
1074
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:56,992
Nurse Dawson.
1075
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:59,031
America, that's...
1076
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:00,040
Yes, Staff?
1077
01:03:00,041 --> 01:03:02,112
See that Mr York doesn't
fall over in the bath.
1078
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,111
Look, I don't think I...
1079
01:03:14,809 --> 01:03:15,809
Not undressed yet?
1080
01:03:15,810 --> 01:03:17,230
I think I'll just
have a good wash.
1081
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,116
If Staff says you're to have
a bath, you have a bath.
1082
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:22,037
- Look, I...
- Oh, you baby.
1083
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:24,031
- Shall I help you get undressed?
- No.
1084
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,230
Oh, come along, come
along. We haven't all day.
1085
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:41,111
Well?
1086
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:47,234
Right?
1087
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:53,232
To think I called you a baby.
1088
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:05,032
For the first time in my life, I
can't think of anything to say.
1089
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:06,149
Neither can I.
1090
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,993
- Wonderful, isn't it?
- Yes.
1091
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,903
Darling, why can't
you be done tonight?
1092
01:04:10,904 --> 01:04:13,033
I told you, darling. The
theatres are in use.
1093
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:14,667
They're not. I just
passed them both.
1094
01:04:14,668 --> 01:04:15,668
Ah.
1095
01:04:15,669 --> 01:04:19,193
So they finished the emergencies
earlier? Well, bully for them.
1096
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:22,232
Look, it's only a bunion. I'm
going to discharge myself.
1097
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:26,028
No, I told you, I won't allow
that. Your health comes first.
1098
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:29,072
I'd never forgive myself if
anything happened to you.
1099
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:31,240
Besides, I shouldn't
enjoy our little
1100
01:04:31,241 --> 01:04:33,193
trip one little bit for the worry.
1101
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:35,191
Now promise me.
1102
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,231
Oh, all right, darling.
1103
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:39,658
It's only one day, I
suppose. I'm being
1104
01:04:39,659 --> 01:04:42,075
done tomorrow. And
being starved today.
1105
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:44,992
Oh, Megsy, darling.
Give me a bite.
1106
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:46,189
Jack, whatever's come over you?
1107
01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:48,231
I'm just hungry, that's all.
1108
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:49,770
Why, what's the matter with you?
1109
01:04:49,771 --> 01:04:52,199
Nothing's the matter with
me, Jack. I'm all right.
1110
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:58,038
Tell me. Are you serious
about going to America?
1111
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:00,116
Is that really your
concern, Mr York?
1112
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,077
Yes.
1113
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:06,192
Let me warn you. Hospitals have
a strange effect on most men.
1114
01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:09,994
They imagine... well, they think
they're in love with the nurses.
1115
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:12,031
It happens every
week to every nurse.
1116
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,031
I don't think it's imagination.
1117
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:16,071
You do.
1118
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:18,071
We'll have to find
out who's right.
1119
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:20,071
Before you go to America.
1120
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:23,993
Right now, I'm going back inside.
I think you ought to do the same.
1121
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,993
- Hello, what have you got there?
- What? Oh.
1122
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:34,191
Hey, help me and the boys kill
these. I'm just in the mood.
1123
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,192
It's no good, I've
simply got to dance.
1124
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,191
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
1125
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,819
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
1126
01:05:47,820 --> 01:05:48,826
♪ La, la, la ♪
1127
01:05:48,828 --> 01:05:50,191
Oh, shut up and sit down.
1128
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:53,231
Do you want Sister to catch us?
1129
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:57,072
Clumsy beast. Might
have broken my arm off.
1130
01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,078
I could have set it
for you, Mr Hinton.
1131
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:02,111
It's easy.
1132
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:04,151
All in this book.
1133
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:08,153
Wakefield's Practical
Surgery. Fascinating.
1134
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:12,193
That book. What's it
say about bunions?
1135
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:14,196
Page 275.
1136
01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:17,031
It's as easy as winking.
1137
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,036
Do-it-yourself surgery.
1138
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,156
Easy as drinking. Winking.
1139
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:25,117
Do mine.
1140
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:29,112
What? Who? Me?
1141
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,111
Well, you said you could do it.
1142
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:33,111
I'm a nucl... A nu...
1143
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,235
I'm not a doctor.
1144
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,038
Look, it's all science.
You've got a book.
1145
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:39,642
Surely a man of your
brains could knock off
1146
01:06:39,643 --> 01:06:42,029
a little elementary
thing like a bunion?
1147
01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:44,071
Well, supposing I did.
1148
01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:47,197
What would you tell the hospital
people, with your bunion gone?
1149
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:51,153
Well, I'd just say it disappeared
in the middle of the night.
1150
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:52,345
Pftt. Just like that.
1151
01:06:52,346 --> 01:06:54,237
They'd write you up in the Lancet.
1152
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,992
I don't care if they stick me on
the cover of the Police Gazette,
1153
01:06:58,040 --> 01:07:00,076
so long as I get my
snogging in as planned.
1154
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,196
But this loud-mouthed
windbag won't help me.
1155
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:07,030
He drinks my bubbly, oh, yes,
but he won't remove my bunion.
1156
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:10,072
How could I? What about
an operating theatre?
1157
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:11,991
Both theatres are free.
1158
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:18,118
All right. I'll try.
1159
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:21,037
Oh, dear.
1160
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,031
- Hello.
- Hello.
1161
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:26,567
Hello, Mick, we're just
having a little party.
1162
01:07:26,568 --> 01:07:28,039
Well, make the most of it.
1163
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:31,072
- Why? Is something up?
- Only Matron's blood pressure.
1164
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,190
After last night's little riot.
1165
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:36,192
Well, tonight she's posting
a nurse to sit in the ward.
1166
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:38,231
All night.
1167
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:40,231
Just to keep an eye on you lot.
1168
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:43,073
- Good night.
- Good night, Mick.
1169
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:45,229
Well, what a pity.
1170
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,036
We won't be able to do it now.
1171
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:50,071
Got to stay in the ward.
1172
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:52,150
Wait a minute. Now listen, boys.
1173
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,140
Strategy. Now, if
there's one thing I
1174
01:07:54,141 --> 01:07:56,079
did learn in the
ring, it's strategy.
1175
01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:58,156
How to turn a disadvantage
to your advantage.
1176
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,450
Well, you're not in the
ring now, so shut up.
1177
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:02,119
Oh, please. Do you mind, Oliver?
1178
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:04,111
Now look. Gather round, lads.
1179
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:07,999
You too, doc. Come over here.
Come on, come on, come on.
1180
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:09,698
Now look, here's what
we do. This nurse
1181
01:08:09,699 --> 01:08:11,191
could be our strategic
opportunity.
1182
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:11,071
- Nurse?
- Er... sir.
1183
01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:38,112
Right, wash his feet with ether
soap. That's the green liquid.
1184
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:51,071
Now listen, chaps.
1185
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:54,032
Antiseptic liquid soap,
green. There it is.
1186
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:02,230
No, I wasn't serious. It
was only the champagne.
1187
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,150
- No, really.
- Get on there.
1188
01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:08,196
This is the stuff. It's
all nicely labelled.
1189
01:11:08,240 --> 01:11:11,073
Very efficient in these
hospitals, aren't they?
1190
01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:16,159
- Oh, it's... it's freezing.
- And so it should be.
1191
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:18,156
Ooh, it's freezing my foot off.
1192
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:20,686
Wouldn't have to worry
about the bunion then.
1193
01:11:20,687 --> 01:11:22,239
Stop larking about, Bernie.
1194
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:24,151
And go and get me some antiseptic.
1195
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:26,151
Antiseptic, right.
1196
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:29,072
It says here you should apply
it with a swab and forceps.
1197
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,236
We don't have time for
all the trimmings.
1198
01:11:31,240 --> 01:11:35,074
- Such as an anaesthetic.
- Now look.
1199
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:37,230
I don't want to go on with
this. I must have been mad.
1200
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:39,149
When everything's going so well?
1201
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:40,374
Don't be so ungrateful.
1202
01:11:40,375 --> 01:11:42,158
After all the trouble we've taken?
1203
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:43,200
Antiseptic.
1204
01:11:43,201 --> 01:11:45,158
Ah, right. There
we are. That's it.
1205
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:47,191
That should do. Now, what's next?
1206
01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:50,112
- Er... 5cc pentathol.
- Intravenous injection.
1207
01:11:50,120 --> 01:11:52,190
I wonder where they
keep the intravenous.
1208
01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:54,232
Now wait a minute.
1209
01:11:54,233 --> 01:11:56,192
Do you want this operation or not?
1210
01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:59,005
I don't want any of you
practising darts on me.
1211
01:11:59,006 --> 01:12:00,995
But you must have an anaesthetic.
1212
01:12:01,040 --> 01:12:02,189
There's always this.
1213
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:05,118
Gas. I don't mind gas.
1214
01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:08,268
Ah. Gas. Mm, that's
the Boyle's machine.
1215
01:12:08,269 --> 01:12:10,075
But he's got a bunion.
1216
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,152
The Boyle's machine.
Over there. It's
1217
01:12:13,153 --> 01:12:15,039
full of nitrous
oxide or something.
1218
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,593
Wheel that in and get it flowing.
1219
01:12:16,594 --> 01:12:17,594
Right.
1220
01:12:17,595 --> 01:12:19,230
Right, now what do we need?
1221
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:22,073
- It's like making a cake, innit?
- Shut up.
1222
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:25,157
Esmarch's bandages. They're made
of rubber. Three inches wide.
1223
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:28,118
We wrap them tightly round
his leg, like a tourniquet.
1224
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:30,156
You two get those. And
put on masks and gowns.
1225
01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:32,077
Right. It's exciting, innit?
1226
01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:34,190
Won't be long now.
1227
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:36,231
Hello? Frying tonight.
1228
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:39,073
Not you, you idiot. Him.
1229
01:12:39,120 --> 01:12:41,190
Look, I don't think I
will have gas after all.
1230
01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:58,111
Cor blimey.
1231
01:12:58,160 --> 01:13:01,118
They've gone and done it,
like they said they would.
1232
01:13:06,160 --> 01:13:08,151
Nu...
1233
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:10,191
Mr Hinton.
1234
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:12,031
Humphrey.
1235
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:17,191
Mr Hinton.
1236
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:22,149
Mr Hinton.
1237
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:32,657
Right, now start unwinding
from the foot, but
1238
01:13:32,658 --> 01:13:35,194
leave a bit of bandage
at the top of the leg.
1239
01:13:36,200 --> 01:13:39,033
Now I need a scalpel to cut
the surface of the skin.
1240
01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:41,116
Two small artery forceps...
1241
01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:42,505
Oh, big 'uns. Make it big 'uns.
1242
01:13:42,506 --> 01:13:44,197
Nothing but the
biggest and the best.
1243
01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:49,069
An osteotome. It looks like a
chisel but it has two sharp sides.
1244
01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:51,111
Two? Oh, good.
1245
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:55,033
A fine saw. A needle and cat gut.
1246
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:58,152
That's right, sew a button on it.
1247
01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:00,019
Better give him some more gas. We
1248
01:14:00,020 --> 01:14:02,113
can't have him
giggling all through.
1249
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:04,151
- Most distracting.
- I agree.
1250
01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:08,998
- What's the matter with you?
- Nothing.
1251
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:11,031
Let's get the knives.
1252
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:35,078
Mr Hinton. Wake up.
1253
01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:38,236
Wake up, please.
1254
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,991
Yeah.
1255
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:43,031
These'll do.
1256
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:51,152
What's the matter with you lot?
1257
01:14:51,160 --> 01:14:53,151
I've got a bunion.
1258
01:14:53,160 --> 01:14:55,151
I've got the giggles.
1259
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,191
Stop mucking about.
1260
01:14:57,200 --> 01:14:59,191
I don't know what's got into you.
1261
01:14:59,200 --> 01:15:01,191
Yes, I do.
1262
01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:06,157
- You careless cruiserweight, you.
- Lightweight.
1263
01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:10,073
I thought so. You
let this thing run.
1264
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:17,153
Hold... Hold this over his
mouth... and I'll start cutting.
1265
01:15:17,200 --> 01:15:21,159
Say, Oliver, what happens
if anything goes wrong?
1266
01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:24,078
We'll have to amputate your leg.
1267
01:15:31,040 --> 01:15:33,031
Humphrey.
1268
01:15:33,040 --> 01:15:36,077
This... This is
Percival calling you.
1269
01:15:39,120 --> 01:15:41,031
I'm sorry, mates.
1270
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:47,231
No. No, stop it. You're tickling.
1271
01:15:47,240 --> 01:15:49,117
I thought you were asleep.
1272
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:51,151
Here, hold him, for
goodness' sake.
1273
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:04,032
Nurse? Asleep on duty?
1274
01:16:07,160 --> 01:16:08,991
Argh.
1275
01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:13,071
Oh.
1276
01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:20,992
Mr Hinton, what is
the meaning of this?
1277
01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:24,076
- Thank you, Staff.
- What happened?
1278
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,264
They all went to the
operating theatre.
1279
01:16:26,265 --> 01:16:27,265
To the...?
1280
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:29,195
Nurse. Please let me explain.
1281
01:16:29,240 --> 01:16:33,074
Mr Hinton, please give me
back my uniform. Mr Hinton.
1282
01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:35,111
Ooh. Ooh, no.
1283
01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:40,152
Elevate the capsule...
1284
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:43,192
and the... periosteum.
1285
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:47,233
Well, where is his peri... peri...
1286
01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:50,070
No, he's made all wrong.
1287
01:16:50,120 --> 01:16:53,157
Gentlemen... he hasn't got one.
1288
01:16:53,160 --> 01:16:55,151
He must have.
1289
01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:57,993
All right, there's the diagram,
1290
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:01,077
you find his pendi... his peri...
1291
01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:03,111
pe... you...
1292
01:17:12,080 --> 01:17:14,071
Can't find his periscope.
1293
01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:18,073
- Swabs.
- Nurse.
1294
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:20,196
Yes, Staff. Beg pardon.
1295
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:23,996
Silly me.
1296
01:17:25,080 --> 01:17:28,117
Will somebody give me a bottle?
1297
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:34,192
Well, if it doesn't happen today,
I don't know what I'll do.
1298
01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:37,078
All my arrangements are
already up the spout.
1299
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:40,112
- It's frustrating, you know.
- Yes. I can imagine.
1300
01:17:40,160 --> 01:17:43,152
I hope you don't mind my burdening
you with my troubles like this.
1301
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:45,037
No, not at all.
1302
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:47,071
Besides, looks like they're over.
1303
01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:49,998
Ah, Mr Bell. Time
for your injection.
1304
01:17:51,240 --> 01:17:54,038
At last.
1305
01:17:54,080 --> 01:17:55,149
Oh.
1306
01:17:55,200 --> 01:17:58,033
That's the best news I've ever...
1307
01:17:58,080 --> 01:18:00,071
- What was that?
- What? What was what?
1308
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:03,157
- You sneezed. You've got a cold.
- Quite so.
1309
01:18:03,200 --> 01:18:05,894
Well, you can't have an
operation with a cold.
1310
01:18:05,895 --> 01:18:07,159
Don't be ridiculous.
1311
01:18:07,160 --> 01:18:09,151
I haven't got a cold on my bunion.
1312
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:11,151
Come along inside.
1313
01:18:11,160 --> 01:18:14,197
- I've never heard anything so...
- .in my...
1314
01:18:14,240 --> 01:18:17,198
- Nurse. Nurse.
- Yes, Sister.
1315
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:19,191
Get Mr Bell into the
side ward immediately.
1316
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:21,993
No, Sister. Nurse,
no, please, please.
1317
01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:25,032
I'm all right. Please let me
have my operation. Please.
1318
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:28,117
Don't infect all the other
patients. Go with nurse at once.
1319
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:30,104
But you don't
understand, Sister. I
1320
01:18:30,105 --> 01:18:32,033
must have it today. I simply must.
1321
01:18:33,120 --> 01:18:36,192
It's nothing, nurse. I'm
perfectly all right.
1322
01:18:38,040 --> 01:18:40,110
- Now come along. Hurry up.
- I haven't got a cold.
1323
01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:43,038
- I'm perfectly all right. I'm...
- In you go.
1324
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:46,032
Oh, Megsy, Jack's not all right.
1325
01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:58,069
Come in.
1326
01:19:00,040 --> 01:19:01,109
Now what?
1327
01:19:01,160 --> 01:19:04,038
Oh, dear. Sounds as if
you don't love me today.
1328
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:06,071
I don't. You're a
naughty old buzzer.
1329
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,111
Now come along,
Colonel, what is it?
1330
01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:10,111
Give that to Mick for
me, would you, please?
1331
01:19:10,160 --> 01:19:13,038
- More horses?
- More horses, my girl.
1332
01:19:13,080 --> 01:19:15,071
All right. Just this once.
1333
01:19:15,080 --> 01:19:16,229
But if Sister found out...
1334
01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:19,232
Surely she'd forgive a
student nurse, wouldn't she?
1335
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:21,991
- Fat chance.
- Really?
1336
01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:25,032
Perhaps she ought to be
reminded of your status, then.
1337
01:19:25,040 --> 01:19:26,382
Is there anything else, Colonel?
1338
01:19:26,383 --> 01:19:28,237
Let me... Oh, yes, dear.
I'm awfully sorry.
1339
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:31,150
I dropped my cigars down
there. Would you mind?
1340
01:19:36,200 --> 01:19:38,111
Oh.
1341
01:19:38,968 --> 01:19:39,968
Colonel.
1342
01:19:39,969 --> 01:19:42,152
Sorry, dear. I never
could resist it.
1343
01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:48,110
- Well, goodbye, everybody.
- Goodbye, Ollie.
1344
01:19:48,160 --> 01:19:50,230
Goodbye, Mr Reckitt. Sure
you've got everything?
1345
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,991
Quite sure. Thank you, nurse.
1346
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:13,155
Staff Nurse.
1347
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:15,533
Oh, Staff Nurse, I forgot
to give Mr York his
1348
01:20:15,534 --> 01:20:18,069
final certificate. I think
you'll just catch him.
1349
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:20,071
Surely it could be posted, Sister.
1350
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:22,111
You run after him.
1351
01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:24,111
Yes, Sister.
1352
01:20:38,120 --> 01:20:40,111
Mr York.
1353
01:20:41,160 --> 01:20:44,072
If I have a date
tonight, the name's Ted.
1354
01:20:45,120 --> 01:20:47,111
Ted.
1355
01:20:52,120 --> 01:20:54,111
Hurry up, nurse.
1356
01:20:55,080 --> 01:20:57,299
There are other things
for you to do, you know.
1357
01:20:57,300 --> 01:20:58,300
Yes, Sister.
1358
01:20:59,120 --> 01:21:01,111
Nurse Dawson.
1359
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,231
Goodbye, Bernie.
1360
01:21:08,240 --> 01:21:09,240
Jeremy.
1361
01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:13,073
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, love.
1362
01:21:13,120 --> 01:21:15,111
- Hello, son.
- Hello.
1363
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:17,071
- Do you remember me?
- Mm.
1364
01:21:17,120 --> 01:21:19,031
- Do you? Got a present for me?
- Mm.
1365
01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:21,031
Come on, then. Give it to me.
1366
01:21:21,040 --> 01:21:23,110
Oh. Ooh, what a punch.
1367
01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:25,151
Come on, give me a
kiss. That's lovely.
1368
01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:27,151
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, love.
1369
01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:29,191
Come on, now.
1370
01:21:29,200 --> 01:21:32,078
Who taught him that, then? You?
1371
01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:41,071
Right. Now.
1372
01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:46,069
Come in.
1373
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,992
- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hello, Colonel.
1374
01:21:52,040 --> 01:21:54,031
To what do I owe the
honour of this visit?
1375
01:21:54,040 --> 01:21:55,650
You're going back into
the ward tomorrow.
1376
01:21:55,651 --> 01:21:56,651
That's right.
1377
01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:59,150
We have to carry out
just one final test.
1378
01:21:59,200 --> 01:22:02,112
- It'll only take a few minutes.
- That's all right.
1379
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:08,388
Hey, what goes on?
1380
01:22:08,389 --> 01:22:11,028
We're getting our own
back on the old boy.
1381
01:22:11,080 --> 01:22:12,149
Oh, he's a sport.
1382
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:15,118
By the time we're through
with him, he'll need to be.
1383
01:22:15,160 --> 01:22:18,197
- How fortunate I met you, Matron.
- Matron.
1384
01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:21,118
I have a lot to do. I must
get through my rounds early.
1385
01:22:21,120 --> 01:22:23,339
I'm afraid everything
won't be quite ready.
1386
01:22:23,340 --> 01:22:24,340
All right.
1387
01:22:24,341 --> 01:22:27,192
I do hope our troublesome colonel
won't delay me too long today.
1388
01:22:27,200 --> 01:22:29,156
Come in.
1389
01:22:29,200 --> 01:22:31,031
Good...
1390
01:22:31,080 --> 01:22:33,196
Colonel. Whatever's going on?
1391
01:22:33,240 --> 01:22:35,245
Come, come, Matron.
Surely you've seen
1392
01:22:35,246 --> 01:22:37,199
a temperature taken
like this before?
1393
01:22:37,240 --> 01:22:41,074
Oh. Yes, Colonel. Many times.
1394
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:44,072
But never... with a daffodil.
1394
01:22:45,305 --> 01:22:51,684
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