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1
00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:07,398
("FLOWER PUSHER" BY DJ KERA PLAYING)
2
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And watch your step.
3
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,136
There's glass everywhere.
4
00:00:23,426 --> 00:00:25,893
Damn wild boar set off
one of my land mines.
5
00:00:25,918 --> 00:00:28,182
Also, watch out for land mines.
6
00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:30,612
There she is.
7
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Champagne Dreams.
8
00:00:33,239 --> 00:00:34,801
KAITLIN: This is the one.
I'm gonna throw
9
00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:36,285
the sickest island party of all time,
10
00:00:36,309 --> 00:00:38,565
and my name will be remembered forever.
11
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:40,862
- Yep, she's a good one, Kirsten.
- Kaitlin.
12
00:00:40,887 --> 00:00:44,024
So, no one's worried about
these, uh, land mines?
13
00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:46,462
Anyway, she may not look like much,
14
00:00:46,487 --> 00:00:47,689
but she'll get you where you want to go.
15
00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:49,363
KAITLIN: Yeah, I just got
to get a bunch of kegs out
16
00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:50,714
to Josh Travis's party island.
17
00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:51,873
Mm-mm-mm.
18
00:00:51,898 --> 00:00:53,956
- RIP, Josh Travis.
- KAITLIN: Right.
19
00:00:53,981 --> 00:00:55,048
Yeah, RIP.
20
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,518
Man, I should not have done that.
21
00:00:57,543 --> 00:00:59,580
I already got frickin' ants everywhere.
22
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Die, ants!
23
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,807
Die! Die!
24
00:01:03,832 --> 00:01:06,198
- (ENGINE CLICKING)
- So, what'd we say, $400?
25
00:01:06,815 --> 00:01:08,050
Yo, what the hell, man?
26
00:01:08,075 --> 00:01:09,307
- The battery's dead.
- Nah.
27
00:01:09,332 --> 00:01:10,503
The battery's fine, okay?
28
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,409
The problem is the plugs are fouled.
29
00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:14,823
I'll be happy to fix it for you
for an extra hundred.
30
00:01:14,848 --> 00:01:17,362
Screw that. Any idiot can fix a boat.
31
00:01:19,237 --> 00:01:20,432
Okay.
32
00:01:20,778 --> 00:01:22,440
Wow. Um...
33
00:01:23,268 --> 00:01:24,800
this is all my scratcher winnings
34
00:01:24,825 --> 00:01:27,432
and my bartending savings
plus 20 bucks Rio gave me
35
00:01:27,457 --> 00:01:29,577
so I wouldn't tell his wife
I saw him drop their baby.
36
00:01:31,146 --> 00:01:32,557
It's all there.
37
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,778
Well...
38
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,136
it ain't Josh Travis's
island party no more.
39
00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:40,042
It is officially Kaitlin
Hudd's island party.
40
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,792
- Congrats!
- I'm so proud of you, girl.
41
00:01:41,817 --> 00:01:43,948
- Doesn't sound as good.
- (PHONE RINGING)
42
00:01:48,698 --> 00:01:49,901
Rot in hell, Devo!
43
00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:51,926
- You're dead to me!
- DEVO: Hey, come on, don't...
44
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:55,073
Pardon my intrusion,
45
00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:57,050
but why does dirty dick Devo
46
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,667
think that he can still utilize
your number after we caught him
47
00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:01,354
in a gang bang with Crystal Meth?
48
00:02:01,379 --> 00:02:04,149
Relax. I'm done with
that circle-jerking turd.
49
00:02:04,174 --> 00:02:05,901
(PHONE RINGING)
50
00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:10,018
Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:10,043 --> 00:02:11,972
- (PHONE STOPS RINGING)
- ERICA: Wattie,
52
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,332
how much for this blanket?
53
00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:15,542
Ew, no. There's ants all over it.
54
00:02:15,567 --> 00:02:17,300
I'm tired of sleeping
under that curtain.
55
00:02:17,325 --> 00:02:18,620
I want a real blanket.
56
00:02:18,645 --> 00:02:21,932
Vintage piece like that is
gonna run you about $60, $70.
57
00:02:21,957 --> 00:02:23,143
I'll give you five for it.
58
00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:24,332
- Yeah, that's fair.
- ERICA: Yo,
59
00:02:24,356 --> 00:02:25,558
can someone spot me five bucks?
60
00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:26,604
I don't have my wallet.
61
00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,370
- You don't have a wallet.
- Jay?
62
00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:30,159
- Girl, bye.
- Come on. Y'all are bartenders.
63
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,831
- Y'all make more money than me.
- SHELBY: No.
64
00:02:31,855 --> 00:02:34,394
You still owe me a
$1.70 for pizza sticks.
65
00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:35,420
(ERICA SCOFFS)
66
00:02:35,445 --> 00:02:36,847
Um...
67
00:02:37,368 --> 00:02:39,667
Will you take two dollars?
68
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:40,979
That's all I have.
69
00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:44,268
Now, this is a one-dollar bill
70
00:02:44,604 --> 00:02:46,639
folded up to look like two dollars.
71
00:02:46,664 --> 00:02:49,495
ERICA: Fine. But I hate dipping
into my savings account.
72
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,409
(SHELBY SCREAMS)
73
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,972
Hey! Who's on my property?
74
00:02:56,682 --> 00:02:58,818
(DISTANT SNORTING, SQUEALING)
75
00:02:58,843 --> 00:03:01,128
Ah, it's just another wild boar.
76
00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:04,073
I never have any trespassers.
77
00:03:04,746 --> 00:03:06,748
I just want to stand my ground.
78
00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:12,198
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
79
00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,354
Whoa, let's get Pop-Tarts.
80
00:03:18,379 --> 00:03:20,722
Nuh-uh. Too expensive.
We're getting Jelly Pocketz.
81
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,729
Do we want Cheery Boys or Dinx?
We can't get both.
82
00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:25,754
ALL: Dinx!
83
00:03:25,779 --> 00:03:28,323
"Silly ferret, Dinx are for youngsters."
84
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:31,852
All right, everybody,
cough up grocery money.
85
00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:34,362
Uh, I just spent every
cent I had on that boat,
86
00:03:34,387 --> 00:03:38,073
but if y'all want to ride on
my boat to my island party,
87
00:03:38,098 --> 00:03:39,254
I get to eat those groceries.
88
00:03:39,278 --> 00:03:41,245
Bam! I got you, girl.
89
00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:45,222
I love being able to support myself
entirely as a businesswoman.
90
00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:48,582
I'm so glad to be done relying
on married-ass Harold's money.
91
00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:50,566
- Lemonade on me, y'all.
- Mm.
92
00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:53,261
That's lemon drink,
and you're not a businesswoman.
93
00:03:53,286 --> 00:03:55,215
You've been a bartender for two weeks.
94
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,629
Whatever. It's gonna taste
just like lemonade
95
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,224
'cause I bought it with my own earnings.
96
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,574
What? I just gave you money.
97
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,402
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
98
00:04:04,427 --> 00:04:06,138
I went before Kaitlin. I went first.
99
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,803
- No, you didn't. It just happened.
- Yeah, I did.
100
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:10,661
All right, fine. But I spent
all my money on my blanket,
101
00:04:10,686 --> 00:04:12,626
so if y'all want to use my blanket,
102
00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,317
then I get to eat those groceries.
103
00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,153
No one wants to use
your dirty-ass blanket.
104
00:04:16,183 --> 00:04:17,261
I would never put my fine-ass body
105
00:04:17,285 --> 00:04:18,505
- under that thing.
- Yeah, no.
106
00:04:18,744 --> 00:04:21,122
Erica, we have to cut you off.
107
00:04:21,147 --> 00:04:22,749
Oh, no, thank you.
108
00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:24,833
Dude, I'm serious.
Ever since you moved in,
109
00:04:24,858 --> 00:04:26,756
you've been mooching off
us and stealing from us.
110
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:27,817
I don't steal from y'all.
111
00:04:27,842 --> 00:04:29,434
- And lying about stealing from us.
- All the time.
112
00:04:29,458 --> 00:04:32,020
Where'd you get this T-shirt
from my old softball team?
113
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,255
I told you.
I rented it from the library.
114
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,091
Ugh. I'm sorry, dude,
but you're cut off.
115
00:04:36,791 --> 00:04:37,791
Fine.
116
00:04:37,816 --> 00:04:39,231
I'll take care of myself.
117
00:04:39,644 --> 00:04:41,458
- Okay.
- (SCOFFS) Okay.
118
00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:43,319
(KAITLIN LAUGHS)
119
00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:45,153
Oh, hey, Erica.
120
00:04:45,178 --> 00:04:46,975
- You could always go on food stamps.
- (LAUGHS)
121
00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:48,591
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
122
00:04:48,616 --> 00:04:50,200
The hell are you doing?
123
00:04:50,225 --> 00:04:51,872
Drop that shit.
124
00:04:51,897 --> 00:04:53,499
You are dead meat.
125
00:04:53,524 --> 00:04:55,145
(ERICA GRUNTS)
126
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,794
ERICA: Oh, damn. Ow.
127
00:04:57,552 --> 00:04:59,573
- Drop it! Drop it.
- Ow.
128
00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,645
Chill out, Debra.
129
00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,122
That ain't yours!
130
00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:05,614
- That ain't yours!
- Let go of the chips, Erica.
131
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,880
Damn!
132
00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:11,192
Spit that out! Now!
133
00:05:11,217 --> 00:05:13,075
Spit it out. That ain't yours.
134
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,552
Get out of there.
135
00:05:14,577 --> 00:05:16,544
I'm just gonna grab
this pamphlet for you,
136
00:05:16,694 --> 00:05:18,849
Erica, just in case.
137
00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:21,175
They want a little bit
138
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,888
Yeah, they want a little bit
139
00:05:23,211 --> 00:05:24,318
They dancin', they movin', yeah
140
00:05:24,342 --> 00:05:26,638
All of these girls want
a little bit, like
141
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,770
They want a little bit
142
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,700
Yeah, they want a little bit
143
00:05:30,725 --> 00:05:31,998
They dancin', they movin', yeah
144
00:05:32,022 --> 00:05:33,778
All of these girls
want a little bit...
145
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,763
- Oh, ugh...
- What?
146
00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:39,147
I haven't eaten in two days.
147
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,717
(SIGHS) All right, listen,
148
00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:43,647
what if I told you there was a way
149
00:05:43,672 --> 00:05:45,436
that you can eat whatever you want
150
00:05:45,461 --> 00:05:46,773
and you wouldn't have to pay a dime?
151
00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:47,889
I'd say sign me up.
152
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,482
"Sign me up"? I'm glad you said that.
153
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,842
I read this yesterday,
and you qualify for food stamps,
154
00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:54,490
so let's go get you signed up.
155
00:05:54,515 --> 00:05:56,484
Uh-uh. I ain't taking no handouts.
156
00:05:56,509 --> 00:05:58,115
What? You mooch off us all the time.
157
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,232
Put the Dinx down.
158
00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:01,725
Government handouts are different.
159
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,865
I ain't no welfare queen.
That's shameful.
160
00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:06,467
You do realize that you're
eating barbecue sauce right now.
161
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,686
Whatever. I don't have
to explain myself to you.
162
00:06:08,711 --> 00:06:10,646
Besides, I got a plan
to bring in some money.
163
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,022
Is your plan to steal something?
164
00:06:12,047 --> 00:06:13,553
Yeah. So?
165
00:06:19,389 --> 00:06:21,358
- Oh, God.
- Ah.
166
00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:23,385
ERICA: Let me know when
you throw out the mayo.
167
00:06:26,716 --> 00:06:28,420
(SCOFFS) Wattie was wrong.
168
00:06:28,445 --> 00:06:30,045
There's nothing wrong with the plugs.
169
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,162
He better not have sold
me a frickin' lemon.
170
00:06:32,187 --> 00:06:33,667
Well, you know what they say.
171
00:06:33,692 --> 00:06:36,904
When life gives you a lemon,
make lemon drink.
172
00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:38,803
- Really?
- Mmm.
173
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,568
Financial independence is delicious.
174
00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:43,795
Don't mind me
'cause I'm doing my thing
175
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,115
Better watch it, watch it
176
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,767
Ooh, girl, you know I am not one to pry,
177
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,140
but didn't you just say you was done
178
00:06:50,164 --> 00:06:51,459
with that shady-ass dirtbag?
179
00:06:51,484 --> 00:06:53,873
- I been calling you!
- Uh-uh. Get your cheatin' ass
180
00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:55,249
- out of here, Devo!
- Why aren't you taking my calls?!
181
00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:56,890
- 'Cause I hate you! Go!
- Look at me!
182
00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:58,654
- Go!
- I've been crying my eyes out!
183
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,014
Good. Are we done?
184
00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:01,795
Don't you get on my boat! Oh, my...
185
00:07:02,357 --> 00:07:04,998
If you don't take me back,
I'm gonna cut my dick off.
186
00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:06,235
- That's how much I love you.
- (LAUGHING)
187
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,995
And you know how much I love my dick!
188
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,429
Uh, go ahead, cut your dirty dick off.
189
00:07:09,453 --> 00:07:11,804
- All right. I'm gonna do it.
- Good. Okay, go for it.
190
00:07:11,829 --> 00:07:13,116
- I'm about to do it right now.
- Good. Yeah. Just don't do it
191
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,280
- on my boat because I'm not
- I'm gonna cut my dick off.
192
00:07:14,304 --> 00:07:16,389
- cleaning up your mess!
- I'm gonna do it.
193
00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:21,656
- I don't want to do it.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
194
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:22,814
DEVO: Baby, come on.
195
00:07:22,839 --> 00:07:24,108
That gang bang...
196
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:27,686
that meant nothing to me, all right?
197
00:07:27,711 --> 00:07:28,835
Come on, baby.
198
00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,484
You're my ride or die.
199
00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:34,491
What are you doing
with that booster box?
200
00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:35,788
None of your business.
201
00:07:38,313 --> 00:07:40,155
(IGNITION CLICKING)
202
00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:41,749
What are you doing?
203
00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:43,851
Has nothing to do with your battery.
204
00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,241
It's in your ignition wiring.
205
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:47,952
Just go do something else.
206
00:07:47,977 --> 00:07:49,233
I'm gonna do this.
207
00:07:49,611 --> 00:07:50,611
Good.
208
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,322
Bitch claimed she done with him.
209
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:57,322
I'm taking all my stuff
back, you klepto.
210
00:07:57,884 --> 00:08:00,229
You took my car dice? (GROANS)
211
00:08:00,254 --> 00:08:02,221
You took my underwear? Ew.
212
00:08:02,246 --> 00:08:04,237
You took Jayla's weave?
213
00:08:04,612 --> 00:08:05,822
- Why?
- All right.
214
00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,096
Chill out. I'll get on food stamps.
215
00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:10,424
But can we go now?
I'm getting lightheaded.
216
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,135
All I've eaten is sauces today.
217
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,729
Yes, definitely. Let's go now.
218
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,433
You just have to bring
your driver's license.
219
00:08:15,457 --> 00:08:16,863
- I don't have one.
- But you've driven my car,
220
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:19,138
- like, a billion times.
- I don't know what to tell you.
221
00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:21,612
Okay, um, you could
also use your passport.
222
00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:22,823
Never mind.
There's no way you have that.
223
00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:24,346
Uh... birth certificate?
224
00:08:25,303 --> 00:08:27,073
Everyone that was born
has a birth certificate.
225
00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:28,999
- I don't think I have that.
- You were born.
226
00:08:29,024 --> 00:08:30,620
Your mom must have
your birth certificate.
227
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,065
No way. I'm not dealing
with that bitch today.
228
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:34,947
Okay. Well, if
you won't get on food stamps,
229
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,518
then you can't live here anymore.
230
00:08:36,543 --> 00:08:38,045
I'll help you pack your stuff.
231
00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:40,393
There. All done.
232
00:08:40,877 --> 00:08:43,158
Fine. Let's go to my damn mom's.
233
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:54,697
234
00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,580
Ah, Kaitlin. What's he doing here?
235
00:08:56,605 --> 00:08:59,869
Oh, don't worry, girl.
She's fully done with him.
236
00:09:00,215 --> 00:09:02,815
Hey, Devo, you got
any food or gum or anything?
237
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,002
No, no food.
238
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,049
Get in the car.
239
00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:07,624
I am done with him, you know.
240
00:09:07,649 --> 00:09:09,455
Oh, sure looks like it.
241
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,002
DEVO: Hey, babe. Muffler.
242
00:09:12,027 --> 00:09:15,127
I'm muff diving. Ah. (LAUGHS)
243
00:09:15,152 --> 00:09:17,987
(LAUGHS)
244
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:21,823
See, that's how it starts.
245
00:09:21,848 --> 00:09:24,174
First you're laughing at
his little muff diving joke,
246
00:09:24,199 --> 00:09:27,643
then he's diving in your muff
and every other muff in town.
247
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,119
Jesus, relax.
248
00:09:29,144 --> 00:09:30,813
It was a legit funny joke.
249
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:32,713
He's just fixing my boat,
250
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,640
and then he can go stab
himself for all I care.
251
00:09:34,665 --> 00:09:36,612
Oh, you don't care?
252
00:09:36,637 --> 00:09:38,987
So after he cheated on you,
it must've been someone else
253
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,010
crying themselves to sleep
in the bed next to me.
254
00:09:41,035 --> 00:09:43,237
Yeah, it probably was someone else.
255
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:44,627
I've never cried.
256
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,346
All right, I'm gonna drop it.
257
00:09:46,371 --> 00:09:48,274
Besides, this could be a good thing.
258
00:09:48,299 --> 00:09:50,424
Weren't you saying you were
throwing the island party
259
00:09:50,449 --> 00:09:52,643
'cause you wanted everybody
to remember your name?
260
00:09:52,668 --> 00:09:54,729
Well, now they definitely will.
261
00:09:55,004 --> 00:09:57,580
Kaitlin Hudd, the punk-ass bitch
262
00:09:57,605 --> 00:10:00,299
that let her man ride
the Crystal Meth train.
263
00:10:00,324 --> 00:10:02,198
- Choo-choo.
- Jay...
264
00:10:02,857 --> 00:10:05,346
you're playing a very
dangerous game right now.
265
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,885
What? I'm excited for you.
266
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:10,149
A story like this is gonna spread.
267
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,042
They might even know about
your chump ass in Tampa.
268
00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:13,463
I'm not a chump!
269
00:10:17,108 --> 00:10:24,108
270
00:10:24,432 --> 00:10:25,635
Hey, Devo!
271
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,807
Yo.
272
00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:28,541
(AIR WHOOSHING)
273
00:10:28,566 --> 00:10:30,003
That's for cheating on me!
274
00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:31,182
Hey!
275
00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:33,213
Oh, my God, you psycho!
276
00:10:33,596 --> 00:10:35,480
- What are you doing?
- And that's for cheating on me
277
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,463
- in front of the Swamp Crew.
- Stop!
278
00:10:37,488 --> 00:10:39,588
- Stop.
- And that's 'cause I hate you.
279
00:10:39,613 --> 00:10:41,712
- Those are 300 bucks a pop!
- Do I look like I care?
280
00:10:41,737 --> 00:10:42,870
- Do I look like someone who cares?
- Yeah, well, you should care.
281
00:10:42,894 --> 00:10:44,159
- They're bomb as hell!
- (GROANS) I don't care.
282
00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:45,229
Whoa! All right.
283
00:10:45,254 --> 00:10:46,823
Just stop.
284
00:10:47,454 --> 00:10:48,454
I'm done with you.
285
00:10:48,479 --> 00:10:50,423
- Oh, you're done with me.
- Your whole thing.
286
00:10:50,448 --> 00:10:53,690
- Okay. Leave. Bye.
- I'm done. I am done!
287
00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:54,991
I am done with you.
288
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,135
I'm gonna go bone every girl in town.
289
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,830
Oh, good. Hope you have fun with that.
290
00:10:58,855 --> 00:11:00,846
Yeah, uh, enjoy getting herpes, bro.
291
00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:02,841
- I can't wait for herpes.
- I'm sure you can't.
292
00:11:08,783 --> 00:11:10,075
(SIGHS)
293
00:11:10,479 --> 00:11:11,518
You were right.
294
00:11:12,144 --> 00:11:13,416
That felt good.
295
00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:16,893
I just thought maybe you
was gonna tell him to leave,
296
00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:19,720
or block his number, but damn...
297
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,612
You scorched the earth.
298
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,119
Ain't nobody gonna call me a chump now.
299
00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:27,682
- Mm-mm.
- Okay.
300
00:11:27,707 --> 00:11:30,018
Get your ass up. Help me fix my boat.
301
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:34,065
Hmm... I don't think I'm
qualified for that position,
302
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:36,113
- but thank you for the opportunity.
- Uh-uh, uh-uh.
303
00:11:36,137 --> 00:11:37,604
You wanted Devo gone.
304
00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:38,713
He's gone.
305
00:11:39,381 --> 00:11:40,483
Get up!
306
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:41,993
Damn.
307
00:11:44,298 --> 00:11:45,902
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
308
00:11:45,927 --> 00:11:47,408
(SIGHS) Man,
309
00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:50,384
your mom's house has really
changed over the years.
310
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,728
Has that hole always been here?
311
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:53,759
Yep.
312
00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:56,900
- Oh. It's great.
- CHILD: You're dead!
313
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,580
ERICA: Hey, Tanner. Hey, Morgan.
314
00:11:58,605 --> 00:12:00,127
How's Mom doing today?
315
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,021
She's actually in a good mood.
316
00:12:02,046 --> 00:12:04,220
The check from her
asbestos lawsuit came in.
317
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,689
Tanner! Morgan!
318
00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:09,978
You bring my good knives back
here right now, goddamn it.
319
00:12:10,003 --> 00:12:11,423
I told you,
320
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:14,111
play with the rusty ones in the shed.
321
00:12:16,684 --> 00:12:18,845
Ooh.
322
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:21,507
Queen came down from
her castle, did she?
323
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,173
Get off my lawn.
324
00:12:23,198 --> 00:12:25,158
You don't live here no more.
325
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,673
Ugh, moms.
326
00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:41,963
ANNOUNCER (ON TV): Oh, no,
that tub drain is clogged.
327
00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:44,806
Stopped up with hair
every time you take a shower.
328
00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:49,494
Those old hair strainers
are messy and slimy
329
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,720
and hard to clean. Introducing...
330
00:12:51,745 --> 00:12:52,745
Erica?
331
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,877
Who the fuck are you?
332
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,673
Erica's friend.
333
00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:58,564
I was just with her.
334
00:12:58,948 --> 00:13:00,087
Have you seen her?
335
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,185
She went into her fucking
stank-ass mom's room.
336
00:13:05,114 --> 00:13:07,434
Just th-through here? Okay.
337
00:13:07,459 --> 00:13:08,459
(CLEARS THROAT)
338
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,996
Thank you.
339
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,707
PEGGY: So now I've got to
drop everything I'm doing
340
00:13:16,732 --> 00:13:19,356
'cause your raggedy ass
wants her birth certificate?
341
00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:21,793
Get the fuck out of my damn house.
342
00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:23,903
You hear this shit?
343
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,630
But I need my birth certificate.
344
00:13:25,655 --> 00:13:27,082
Too bad, princess.
345
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,082
I need it, too, 'cause I'm trying
346
00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:31,610
to take out some student
loans in your name.
347
00:13:31,635 --> 00:13:33,153
But I'm not a student.
348
00:13:33,178 --> 00:13:35,309
Now beat it before I cut you.
349
00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:38,278
And take this Bozo the
Clown-looking bitch with you.
350
00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:39,559
Moms.
351
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:41,395
We've got to get out of here.
352
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:48,926
Dude, after all that we're not
getting my birth certificate?
353
00:13:48,951 --> 00:13:50,113
I've got to get out of here.
354
00:13:50,138 --> 00:13:52,840
I thought I had it rough,
but this place is insane.
355
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,832
I feel like I'm in a nightmare.
356
00:13:55,153 --> 00:13:56,501
Is that a raccoon?
357
00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,801
- (RACCOON CHITTERS)
- Good God.
358
00:13:58,826 --> 00:14:00,504
I can't believe your
mom lives like this.
359
00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:03,340
Exactly. This is why I don't
take government handouts.
360
00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:04,848
I don't want to end up like my mom.
361
00:14:04,873 --> 00:14:06,754
She's a mean, lazy piece of trash.
362
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,782
That's why you didn't want food stamps?
363
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:12,091
- What?
- Later, Aunt Sis.
364
00:14:12,116 --> 00:14:13,926
Leave it! No!
365
00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:15,854
- It-It's my milk!
- (CHUFFING)
366
00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:18,324
- (IGNITION CLICKING)
- I knew it.
367
00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:20,528
Nothing wrong with the ignition wiring.
368
00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:22,504
Dirty dick Devo wasting my time.
369
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,754
God. This island party's
never gonna happen.
370
00:14:25,779 --> 00:14:28,020
Didn't you say you thought
the battery was dead?
371
00:14:28,045 --> 00:14:29,934
Stop listening to all
these stupid-ass men
372
00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:31,494
and jump the damn battery!
373
00:14:31,519 --> 00:14:32,707
(PHONE RINGING)
374
00:14:32,732 --> 00:14:34,770
_
375
00:14:34,795 --> 00:14:36,426
Uh... (LAUGHS)
376
00:14:36,451 --> 00:14:38,293
Pardon my intrusion,
377
00:14:38,318 --> 00:14:41,387
but why does Harold think
he can utilize your number
378
00:14:41,412 --> 00:14:43,067
when you found out he was married?
379
00:14:43,488 --> 00:14:44,903
I do not know.
380
00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:46,293
That is so curious.
381
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,012
- Hmm.
- I'm gonna pick up, find out
382
00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,536
how he's doing.
We can chop it up, no big deal.
383
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,934
Are you kidding me?!
Whatever happened to,
384
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,262
"Man, I'm so glad to
be done with Harold!
385
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,621
I love lemon drink!
Financial independence"?
386
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,051
Oh, come on! Lemon drink
is trash, and you know it!
387
00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:01,418
Stirring that powder all
day like a damn fool!
388
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,629
Harold could buy me fresh lemonade.
389
00:15:03,654 --> 00:15:05,699
I want that fresh lemonade life.
390
00:15:05,724 --> 00:15:08,059
And if he leaves his
wife, I can have that!
391
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:09,487
(PHONE CHIMES)
392
00:15:10,486 --> 00:15:12,152
Ooh, he left a voice mail.
393
00:15:12,863 --> 00:15:14,606
I can't believe you called me a chump.
394
00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:17,528
You should be down at Applebee's
right now slashing his tires.
395
00:15:17,553 --> 00:15:19,254
Hand me the jumper cables, chump.
396
00:15:19,746 --> 00:15:21,278
At least I'd be a rich chump.
397
00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:22,450
Oh, yeah? Well, I'd rather be poor
398
00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:24,044
than suck grandpa
Harold's wrinkled dick.
399
00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:25,837
The dick don't wrinkle when it's hard!
400
00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:26,926
Turn the key.
401
00:15:26,951 --> 00:15:28,219
(ENGINE STARTS)
402
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:31,071
- (SCREAMING)
- Oh, my God! Yes! I did it!
403
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,098
(BOTH LAUGHING)
404
00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:34,434
- You were right the whole time!
- I hope you like
405
00:15:34,459 --> 00:15:36,497
getting blackout drunk in
the middle of the Gulf, Jay,
406
00:15:36,521 --> 00:15:39,176
'cause Kaitlin Hudd's
island party lives on!
407
00:15:39,201 --> 00:15:40,832
- Oh, yeah.
- (LAUGHING)
408
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:44,035
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
- Man.
409
00:15:44,581 --> 00:15:46,785
All right, here.
Listen to your voice mail.
410
00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:48,349
Call him back if you want. I don't care.
411
00:15:48,373 --> 00:15:49,418
No judgment here.
412
00:15:49,443 --> 00:15:50,981
That dude is super rich.
413
00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:53,035
Just, uh...
414
00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,207
I think you could do better.
415
00:15:57,812 --> 00:15:58,934
Nah.
416
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,512
If you could fix this
boat without a man,
417
00:16:01,537 --> 00:16:04,098
maybe I can get that fresh
lemonade life on my own.
418
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,754
- I ain't calling him back.
- Good.
419
00:16:06,779 --> 00:16:09,184
But you got to do more than that.
Come on.
420
00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:10,294
You know he's just gonna keep calling,
421
00:16:10,318 --> 00:16:12,551
or he's gonna show up
here like Devo did,
422
00:16:12,576 --> 00:16:13,622
and you're gonna take him back.
423
00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:15,014
What? Nah.
424
00:16:15,195 --> 00:16:16,997
- Yeah, you're right.
- See?
425
00:16:17,022 --> 00:16:20,725
Jay... you got to scorch the earth.
426
00:16:21,111 --> 00:16:22,856
Make him wish he never met you.
427
00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:29,206
Okay.
428
00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:32,395
(BOTH LAUGHING)
429
00:16:33,184 --> 00:16:35,434
Dude, you are not gonna
turn into your mom.
430
00:16:35,459 --> 00:16:37,199
Trust me, you are not your mom.
431
00:16:37,224 --> 00:16:38,449
You said so yourself.
432
00:16:38,474 --> 00:16:40,877
I'm a mooch and an idiot and a klepto.
433
00:16:40,902 --> 00:16:43,723
I know I'm a lot like her,
and she started with food stamps,
434
00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:45,106
then a fake disability,
435
00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:47,613
then got Morgan, Tanner,
Deacon, Gilbert and Shannon
436
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:50,008
to raise themselves while
she collects a foster check.
437
00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:52,252
Girl, I didn't mean all that.
438
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,379
Come on, you're nothing like your mom.
439
00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:57,910
You're so... s-s-s...
440
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,087
You're s... you're smart?
441
00:17:00,112 --> 00:17:01,547
Mm, no.
442
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:04,809
But-but you are, you know, uh...
443
00:17:05,418 --> 00:17:07,043
You're really...
444
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:09,403
Aah. Yeah.
445
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,785
Um, uh...
446
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,824
Morgan, Tanner, please, uh, help me out.
447
00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:14,113
Is Erica like your mom?
448
00:17:14,138 --> 00:17:16,246
Oh, totally. She's a thief,
449
00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:18,426
kind of lazy, oh, and dumb. Real dumb.
450
00:17:18,451 --> 00:17:21,186
Okay, fine, but she has
good qualities, too, right?
451
00:17:21,211 --> 00:17:22,614
Right? Like...
452
00:17:25,790 --> 00:17:28,311
- Well, sometimes she does nice stuff.
- Okay.
453
00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,499
She always steals us
something for our birthdays,
454
00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:32,874
and when Mikey Freeman called me
"Foster Boy,"
455
00:17:32,899 --> 00:17:34,828
she beat him so hard,
he whizzed his pants.
456
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:35,913
Oh, yeah.
457
00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:37,327
Okay. Yeah. See?
458
00:17:37,352 --> 00:17:40,811
You're a really good sister,
and you're a really good friend.
459
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,210
You know, you're really good at,
460
00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:45,491
um... Mm, no, but, you
know, you-you help...
461
00:17:45,516 --> 00:17:47,152
You help... Mm.
462
00:17:47,177 --> 00:17:48,249
Eh...
463
00:17:48,813 --> 00:17:50,155
You know what? No. Forget it.
464
00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:51,975
The point is, it's okay
465
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,718
to take a little help from
the government, right?
466
00:17:53,742 --> 00:17:56,530
Because your mom is not a monster
'cause of food stamps.
467
00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:59,928
Your mom is just a monster,
and you survived that.
468
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,397
That's really impressive.
469
00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:03,911
Oh, hey, that's
something good about you.
470
00:18:03,936 --> 00:18:05,256
- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah.
471
00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:08,022
I do have lots of
good qualities, like...
472
00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:11,686
Uh...
473
00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,014
It's hard, right?
474
00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:14,889
Whatever.
Let's go get my birth certificate.
475
00:18:14,914 --> 00:18:16,819
Oh, I know where it is.
476
00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:19,147
Of course, you have to do
something for me first.
477
00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:22,207
- God, this family is just...
- Since you moved out,
478
00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:24,342
Mickey Freeman's been
picking on me again,
479
00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:25,913
calling me "Foster Boy"
480
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,173
and throwing rocks at me.
481
00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:28,834
All right, I'll go kick his ass.
482
00:18:29,298 --> 00:18:31,334
What are you doing? What?
483
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,733
My money's going up
484
00:18:36,729 --> 00:18:38,755
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-
My money's going up...
485
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,647
No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no.
486
00:18:40,672 --> 00:18:42,069
You know what time it is
487
00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:43,730
It's tee up time, I'm a chauffeur
488
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,497
I'm a lioness, I take pride in this
489
00:18:45,522 --> 00:18:47,226
I'd be lyin' if I said
I didn't strive for best
490
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,881
I want success like a hunger
491
00:18:48,906 --> 00:18:50,631
Do what I want like a stunner
492
00:18:50,656 --> 00:18:52,338
Don't play with me, call me richey
493
00:18:52,363 --> 00:18:54,256
Had a few on my side, now a sitsy
494
00:18:54,281 --> 00:18:57,443
First class, getting nitty,
toss that like deity
495
00:18:57,468 --> 00:18:59,459
Take a loss and got a bank
496
00:18:59,484 --> 00:19:01,119
Now my money's filthy
497
00:19:01,144 --> 00:19:02,479
They say I wouldn't make it
498
00:19:02,504 --> 00:19:04,040
In this world on my own
499
00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:05,952
So I did it with some bosses
500
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,697
Played they game where
they pulled me on
501
00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:09,287
I call the shots
502
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,419
Count every dollar, dime
503
00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:12,639
Don't trust no one
504
00:19:12,664 --> 00:19:15,108
They try to take what is mine
505
00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:18,170
-
I call the shots
-
I gotta stay on my grind
506
00:19:18,384 --> 00:19:19,467
Don't trust no one
507
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,624
They gotta pay me for my time
508
00:19:21,965 --> 00:19:23,167
I call the shots
509
00:19:23,192 --> 00:19:25,389
Count every dollar, dime
510
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,436
Don't trust no one
511
00:19:26,461 --> 00:19:28,931
They try to take what is mine
512
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,780
Keep the chips.
513
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,249
(BOTH LAUGHING)
514
00:19:38,913 --> 00:19:40,483
I am awesome.
515
00:19:40,508 --> 00:19:43,702
And because I'm awesome,
we now have a boat.
516
00:19:44,468 --> 00:19:45,944
(SCREAMING, WHOOPING)
517
00:19:45,969 --> 00:19:46,983
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
518
00:19:47,008 --> 00:19:48,905
- Now let's eat, bitches!
- KAITLIN: Yeah!
519
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:49,936
- Yeah!
- (WHOOPS)
520
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:51,566
Okay, we have Pop-Tarts, we got Trix.
521
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,944
We got Cheez-Its.
We got Bagel Bites, we got lemonade!
522
00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:57,991
- Lemonade!
- (SCREAMING, LAUGHING)
523
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,420
Mmm. Ooh, that's fresh to death.
524
00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:05,217
And I didn't even have
to blow Harold for it.
525
00:20:05,242 --> 00:20:06,866
- That's right.
- Girl. Oh.
526
00:20:06,891 --> 00:20:08,975
Yo, did you ever listen to
that idiot's voice mail?
527
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,389
Mm. Nah. Y'all want to hear
528
00:20:11,414 --> 00:20:13,319
a married old man beg for a booty call?
529
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,358
- Yup.
- Yeah.
530
00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:15,444
(LAUGHING)
531
00:20:15,469 --> 00:20:18,858
HAROLD: Hey, Jay. Baby, I miss you.
532
00:20:19,029 --> 00:20:22,600
I just wanted to tell you that I,
uh, left my wife, and...
533
00:20:23,007 --> 00:20:25,155
I don't know. I just miss you so much.
534
00:20:25,403 --> 00:20:28,209
I really want to see you, baby. Call me.
535
00:20:31,065 --> 00:20:34,717
Wait. So he left this before
you smashed his windows?
536
00:20:35,264 --> 00:20:36,671
Yeah.
537
00:20:58,831 --> 00:21:00,889
- Yeah. Yeah, it's good.
- It is.
538
00:21:00,914 --> 00:21:02,077
Yeah, this...
539
00:21:02,102 --> 00:21:03,780
- Yeah. Want some of this?
- Yeah.
540
00:21:04,136 --> 00:21:05,397
Mmm.
541
00:21:05,422 --> 00:21:06,523
SHELBY: Mmm.
542
00:21:07,106 --> 00:21:08,631
- Oh, my God.
- Mmm.
543
00:21:08,656 --> 00:21:09,811
It's really good.
544
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,038
Oh, my God.
545
00:21:12,913 --> 00:21:14,913
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
546
00:21:14,963 --> 00:21:19,513
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39506
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