All language subtitles for Spin City - 1x20 - Deaf Becomes Her.DVD.SAiNTS.en

The Mayor will give a
state-of-the-city address in an hour.

I cannot overstate
the delicacy of this.

P.c. watchdogs will
be out in full force,

particularly after the Mayor's
performance this weekend.

Mike, it was essential

that he attend
that unity pride day.

By jumping up on that stage and
performing with that rap band,

he showed those kids he
understood their world.

Carter, I've got nothing
against rap music.

I happen to like
"the rap music."

But whether it's rap, country
and western, or a damn show tune,

the Mayor should not be singing
any song called "yo bitch."

Skateboard accident.

I've seen you
dislocate your shoulder

running for an elevator.

Stay off the skateboard.

This little monster comes
barreling down the sidewalk,

so I manage to avoid
him, right ?

But I'm thrown off-balance,

and his kid sister
nails me with her big wheel.

So technically,
it's a big wheel accident.

Those things come
equipped with hand brakes,

so if I were you
I'd be asking myself,

"was it really
an accident ?"

Looking back
at the past 12 months

I've been in office...

I can point with pride
to the many accomplishments

of my administration.

Crime is down.

You are now less likely
to be murdered

or violently assaulted on
the streets of this city...

...than at any other time

in the past 20 years.

At the same time...

we are experiencing
a cultural renaissance.

Once again,
New York is a mecca

for filmmakers,
musicians,

writers, and
television producers.

And, uh...

...this both contributes
to our tax base

and attracts
thousands of visitors

to our city each year.

Now, if it wasn't for...

Please, dude,
I said I was sorry.

You think this...

...means I'm sorry ?

This was a state-of
the-city address

seen by millions
of New Yorkers,

and do you know
what our message was ?

Crime is down,
jobs are up,

and the Mayor hates
deaf people.

Back off, pal.
I'm just a temp.

Ha ! Just
a temp !

And, you ! Where did
you find this guy ?

Temp agency.

Paul, I'm thinking of having
you replaced with a monkey.

Why did the agency
send you over, anyway ?

His resum� said he knew sign language.

He lied on his
resum�, Mike ?

It would appear so.

You guys telling me

you never lied on
your resum� ?

Never. Nope. No.

Not a chance.
Not me.

Nope.
Not me, either.

Uh, I'm still gonna get
paid for today, right ?

Oh, yeah. The, uh,
"check is in the mail."

So, what exactly is the
purpose of this meeting ?

Sarah Edelman
is coming by

from the New York coalition
for the hearing impaired.

I'm trying to make an
overture to the deaf community.

She's deaf ?

Yeah, Paul. Makes
for a better overture.

So how come Stuart
gets to go and I don't ?

Because we're trying to
actually accomplish something.

Because Stuart
knows sign language.

You just worry about
getting better.

Claudia staying
at your place,

taking good care
of you ?

Ho ho ! Is she ever !

I have 2 words for you
gentlemen... sponge bath.

You know what Claudia's doing,
Paul ? She's nesting.

Nesting ?
That's right.

Next, her earrings will
be on your night stand,

her toothbrush
in your medicine cabinet.

She'll show up at your door with
a bunch of twigs in her beak.

Oh, wow. That can
only mean one thing...

Claudia wants to lay
her eggs in my apartment.

Oh, she'll lay them
in your apartment,

but they're gonna
hatch in a house

you can't afford
on long island.

We'd like to convey
our sincerest apologies

for the events that
took place this morning.

Can she
understand me ?

Yes.
She understands.

Gee, Stu, how'd you
ever pick that up ?

Well, that was easy. Thanks
for coming up. It's always nice

dealing with somebody
who is so understanding.

No, she understands you
because she reads lips.

She does not,
however...

understand how
this administration

thinks it can
get away with a

simple, empty,
insincere apology.

Because it's always
worked before ?

Yeah... ok, Mike.

I think
I've warmed her up.

Why don't you bring
this one home ?

Nice meeting you,
ma'am.

Uh, please.

Ms. Edelman...

uh, may I call
you Sarah ?

Go for it.

Sarah, we're well aware
that words alone

cannot undo
the hurt and pain

that we've inflicted upon
these most valued members

of our community.

What'd she say ?

"Can you believe this..."

followed by an expletive
referring to cow dung.

Ok.

Sarah, uh, I'm gonna
level with you.

We screwed up.

And... and I don't have
a good excuse ready.

She appreciates
your candor...

but she thinks

that anything less
than a public apology

would be viewed by the
hearing impaired community

as a slap in the face.

You got it. And if it
makes you feel any better,

feel free to slap
Stuart in the face.

No. That's not funny.

If I can add on
a personal note,

it's always great
to reach out to members

of the hearing impaired
community,

though may I add,
in this case,

it's particularly great.

She says that politicians
are always trying

to charm her,
but in this case,

it's particularly
annoying.

Charming.

It's particularly
charming.

Aren't our resum�s supposed
to be kept confidential ?

Why, Mr. Heywood ? You
have something to hide ?

No.

When were you a clerk
for the united nations ?

Hmm ?

Oh ! That.

Um, actually, it was
the model united nations,

you know,
in high school.

Ohh ! It was a very big deal.

Paul, between your junior
and senior years,

you ran a re-election
campaign

for Sheik Taranchi
of Jordan ?

That is correct.

But Jordan's a monarchy.

They don't have elections.

It was a grass-roots
movement.

Janelle, when do you know
you have to go to the dentist ?

You got a little
toothache there ?

Yeah. I was chewing on
my pen, on the end of it,

and I think I cracked
my molar right in half.

Ahh.

I'll make an appointment.

Aaah !

Nikki,
you got aspirin ?

Yeah, I do.
I can't believe

the way you people
lie on your resum�s.

Really ! When was the last time
you typed 110 words per minute ?

Probably the same day you
spoke conversational Farsi.

Look at this...

James Leonard Hobert III
claims he can tap dance.

Were you considered
cool in Wisconsin ?

If you're looking
for your remotes,

I used my glue gun to put a
strip of velcro on each one

and mounted them
to the side of the TV.

I never used to have
trouble finding my things.

What does that mean ?

Nothing. Nothing.

Before you cleaned
my apartment,

I knew where everything
was, and you had to ask.

Now you know where everything
is, and I have to ask.

This place was a mess
before I cleaned it up.

I found a half
cream cheese sandwich...

underneath the sofa,
on top of the magazines.

I knew exactly where
it was ! I put it there !

It's gone now !

I've... I gotta shower.

Honey, let me help you.

No, no, no.
I can bathe myself.

Anything I can't reach I'll
just use my loofa on a stick.

Ok. Well,
be careful.

Remember not
to get your cast wet.

I remember.
I remember.

Watch out for my bird
in your shower.

What ? !

Rawwk !
Ahh !

Hiya, Mike.
Back from the dentist ?

Oh, this ?

Bird in the shower.

Broke all 5 toes
in my foot.

I can't believe this guy
is my press secretary.

When I had
my wisdom teeth out,

I was in bed
for 3 days,

and I had put it off,

so by the time I got it,
the roots had twisted

around and around
and around...

Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up.

The apology press
conference is all set up.

I invited a hearing impaired
reporter to cover it.

Charming fellow.

This Novocain
is supposed

to shield me
from the pain,

and yet
I still hear him.

There he is !
Hiya, Tim !

Thank you for having me here.

Thank you for coming.

What are you saying ?

What do you
mean, what am I saying ?

Are you making fun of me ?

No. I'm just
trying to tell you

that I'm sensitive

to the needs... feelings
of the deaf community.

Oh, no.

Stuart. Damage report.

Engine number 4 is in flames,
and we're losing altitude fast.

Needless to say, we're
suspending beverage service

in the main cabin.

Nikki,
damage report.

Ms. Edelman
has quite a bit of clout.

She's organized a demonstration
tomorrow outside city hall.

She's gotten support
from special interest groups

with hearing impaired
constituents. Check out this list.

Hey ! Gay and lesbian
liberation union. That's me !

Uh, Mike, can I have
tomorrow morning off ?

I assure you, in the future, our
screening process for interpreters

will be much more thorough.
We're going to throw out

all the applicants who
don't know sign language.

As for yesterday, any of you
who have had major dental surgery

can appreciate
what I was going through.

Mr. Mayor, will there
be a formal reprimand

of your deputy Mayor ?

This man
did nothing wrong.

I mean, have we finally
reached a point

where anything can be
taken out of context

and cause a politically
correct house of cards

to come
tumbling down ?

It's like that interview
I did last year

I caught all
that flack for.

What was it that I referred
to the Latino community as ?

Um... ahem.

Lateenies, sir.

Paul, you should
see Chester.

His feathers are ruffled,
his beak's quivering.

He's been in attack
position all day.

You really
spooked him.

I spooked him ?

Jeez, that thing
practically tore my face off.

I kept waiting for Alfred
Hitchcock to yell "cut."

Ok, sour puss.
I'll make this quick.

I'm gonna stop by the
store on my way home.

Do you want me
to pick up some more

of those pudding packs you like ? No.

No pudding packs ?

No.

For god sakes, Paul.
What's wrong ?

Claudia, I'm 35 years old.

I've been living on my
own for almost 4 years now.

What are you
saying, Paul ?

I'm set in my ways.

I'm not used to having
people hanging their pets

in my shower, their
clothes in my closet,

or their feminine
accessories all over my sink.

My moisturizer ?

This morning I mistook it
for my toothpaste.

Now everything I eat
tastes like your neck.

I think I understand,
Paul. I'll see you tonight.

Neck.

* o'er the land *

* of the free *

* hee ! *

* and the home *

Ok ! Fine !
Piano, 3 octave range.

Check.

All this proves
is that you were

a lonely, geeky kid.

You know what, Stuart ?
I wasn't lonely.

I had my music.

No, I gotta agree
with the Mayor on this.

This p.c. thing
is just way out of control.

I'm with Mike.

Stu, I know
you're being supportive,

but when you do that, it
just makes me doubt myself.

If we have to apologize
every time

we unintentionally offend
somebody, where does that end ?

If I'm on a street singing
"girls just wanna have fun,"

as I often do,

should I apologize
for suggesting

that guys just
want to work ?

No, but you would
have to apologize

for using the term
"girls" instead of "women.'

There you go,
right there.

When does a girl
become a woman ?

One day
with me.

Stu, I'm begging you.
Jump to the other side.

Give me a break, Mike.
We're a dying breed.

Who's looking out for the white,
middle class, heterosexual male ?

Congress.

You know, Sarah,
when you told me

not to bring Stuart because your
friends knew sign language...

silly me,
I took that to mean

they'd be able
to interpret for me.

Thank you.

Ok, don't worry
about me.

I'll just
entertain myself.

* oh, girls just
wanna have fun *

* that's all
they really want *

* oh, girls *

* just wanna have fun *

* that's all
they really want *

* some fun *

* come home in
the middle of the night *

* my mama says what you
gonna do with your life ? *

* oh mama dear, we're
not the fortunate ones *

* 'cause girls
just wanna *

* have fun *

* oh, girls
just wanna have fun *

* that's all
they really want *

you know what ? We should probably
talk about your demonstration plan.

What ? What'd I do now ?

All right, I get
what's going on here.

This is very clever.

You're teaching
me a lesson

about what it's like
to be excluded.

Well, not only do
I not need that lesson,

I don't deserve
that lesson.

So, good night.
Enjoy your dinner.

Wait, Mike.
Don't go.

You can speak.

No. You're hearing
things.

Ok. Here are
your remotes...

TV...

VCR,

cable box,

stereo,

and garage
door opener.

Where are you going ?

Home. But not to worry.

I put all your dirty
laundry back on your floor,

I sprayed a ring of filth
around your tub,

and I even made you
a half a cream cheese sandwich

and put it where
I knew you'd find it.

It was nice getting
to know you.

I hope you find
true happiness someday.

Good-bye.
Good-bye ?

Goodbye, Paul !

Claudia !

Ow... ooh !

Claudia ! Claudia !
Claudia, come back.

Come back, Claudia.
Please !

Please don't leave me !

Claudia, please !
I'm getting rug burns !

Claudia ! I love you !
I love...

oh, Claudia.
Oh, please, please !

The apartment seems
so empty without you.

You mean it,
Paulie ?

Nah, it started
out rough,

but I gotta tell ya, Sarah
and I are having a great time.

Yeah. Oh, listen, I gotta
go. Here she comes. Bye.

You don't have
to whisper, Mike.

Sorry.

Wait... how did you
know I was whispering ?

You make a funny face.

You know what's great
about this ?

I don't often
get the opportunity

to meet someone like you,

and if I hadn't,
I wouldn't have known

that you're such
a beautiful, charming,

intelligent woman.

Say that again.

Oh ! I'm sorry.
I was just saying

you're a beautiful,
charming, intelligent woman.

I understood you.

I wanted to
hear it again.

Suppose I wanted to
take you out for dinner.

How long would it take
me to learn sign language ?

I don't know,
uh, about a year.

How about lunch ?

If you don't talk
with your mouth full,

we'll be fine.

You know,
I hate to do this,

but it's getting late.

We'd better talk
about work.

Go ahead.

Ok. You...
you know what I think ?

I think you knew that our
administration had no bad intentions

towards
your organization.

You were just being opportunistic
to further your own cause.

So ?

So I think you have to make a choice.

You can either
trust me when I say

that this Mayor is good
for your organization,

and while I can't
make any promises,

we want to work on
issues that matter to you,

or you can have
your demonstration,

draw your battle lines,
and take your chances.

You want me
to trust you ?

Will you look at
this face ?

You want me to make
a decision right now ?

Uh, no. We... we...
we...

we can finish
our coffee.

New York
is a progressive city

when it comes to the rights
of the hearing impaired.

But be assured, we will not
be resting on our laurels.

We understand
your concerns,

and I'm sure our response
is coming in loud and clear.

Now, I don't

literally
mean loud and clear.

What I means is,
um...

I know what
you mean.

Thank you for
your understanding.

Uh...

this means horny.

Ok. Well.

This means horny.

I'll make a note of that.

Time !

20 seconds.
A new record.

Ah, you don't know how many
women have said that to me !

All right, outta the
chair. Outta the chair.

Mike, I gotta go to the
bathroom. I need the chair back.

You're gonna have to hold it for
no more than, what, 20 seconds.

On your mark...
get set...

hold on, Mike,
please ?

Go !
And he's off !

Flaherty looks strong.

Coming up to the first turn !

He negotiates it
with ease ! Look out, pal.

Hey, good-looking !
How you doing ?

And around we go !
Look out, people.

Mike Flaherty,
king of the wheelchairs

looking good as he goes
into the final stretch

on his way... to...

...victory.

I'm wondering, why do
you have the college

that you graduated from, but not
whether you got a B.A. or a B.S. ?

I didn't ? Let me write that in.

Why don't you
put down B.S. ?

'Cause you didn't graduate
from college, did you ?

No, I did. I did ! I
was there for 4 years.

Who's gonna stay a fifth
for 2 lousy gym credits ?

Certainly not the guy who's gonna
buy us beer for the rest of the night.

Aah !

Well, that
was a treat.

I do what I can.
Why is there no music ?

Mmm.
Jukebox is broken.

Say, sport, is that
gonna be much longer ?

Hey,
don't ask me, man.

I have no idea
what I'm doing.

Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.