All language subtitles for Its.Always.Fair.Weather.1955.CATVRip.XviD.CC-rb

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marching in the winter

marching in the fall

marching in the summer

but spring is best of all

'cause then it's march, march,
march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july,
august, september

sept, sept, september,
october, november, december

january, february, march,
march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july,
august, september

sept, sept, september,
october, november, december

january, february, march,
march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july,
august, september

sept, sept, september,
october, november, december

january, february

marching in the winter

marching in the fall

marching in the summer

but home is
the best of all

hey!

Well, well, well,

if it isn't
the rover boys.

Aren't you guys ever
going to grow up?

Is this any way
to greet your american heroes?

Come on, tim,
don't spoil our last day together.

Yeah, give us
a pleasant smile.

We've been over there
cutting the german lines,

protecting your right
to cut your scotch.

We've been gone
over two years.

Haven't you
missed us, tim?

Sure, i missed you.

I got a little
tab here exactly two years old.

Take care of it, banker.

$75.80. fork up
or no liquor.

You're
a sentimentalist at heart, tim.

Listen, this
is a bar, not a barbershop.

What do
you got there? Hey, silvio!

You guys act as if
you own the joint.

Hey, silvio!
Hey! Hi!

Silvio!
Hey!

Hey, silvio!

What's he
going to make?

3 ham
sandwiches. Great cook.

Come on, tim,
set 'em up. Put 'em on a tab.

No more tabs.
Cash.

You're civilians now.
You owe me a buck for this,

and i think
you're overtipping.

Tim, what do
you mean? We can't-

i just wanted you
to know i didn't forget it

and you can't put
anything over on me.

Keep the dough.
You're going to need it.

Gee, tim-

tim, i'd like
to leave you with a little remembrance

because we're all
busting up and going home.

This is for you.

Take it, save it,
frame it, put it up over the bar.

Someday it'll
be worth millions.

What is it?

What is it?
It's an original douglas hallerton.

Security
for your old age.

I'm trying
to attract patrons, not scare them away.

Tim, this saloon will be
famous someday because this painting's here.

Yeah! Like places
that say george washington slept here. Like that.

Yeah, like that.

Coming up!

That's a pretty
picture.

Looks like
a pizza pie.

Yeah, we call it
the picture you eat with a spoon.

Stand back one second,
silvio. Do you mind?

Just a little room.

Huh! Hoo! Huh!

Ted, got some mail for you.

I hope it's the one.
It is!

A dame?

The future mrs. Riley!

Wife of one
of the future lawmakers of the united states.

This no-goodnik?

No-goodnik?
Head man in his school.

President of
the pittsburgh

junior debating
society. Phi beta kappa.

Student of
english literature.

A born leader!

Both: Vote for riley!

"Dearest ted,

"i have missed you
so terribly and worried about you constantly,

"so far away
and in such danger all the time.

"You know there is
no one in the world

"nearer and dearer
to me than you, ted, dear.

"I know you'll have
a brilliant career when you finish law school,

"but we haven't seen
each other in several years, and people grow up and change.

"Ted, i hope it
makes no difference in our friendship

"just because i happened
to get married last month.

Joe is the most
wonderful guy in the world."

Hey!

Oh, back again.

Come on, tim,
give us a drink.

All right. All right.
One more and that's it.

It's closing time.
It's 4:00.

Closing time?
Where's the clock?

Well, we got to help
old tim close up.

Well, of course.

Come on.

Hey! Watch that!

Sorry.

The war's over.
People don't love drunk civilians

like they love
tipsy soldiers.

Hey!

We're civilians now!

Oh, the time has
come for parting

and the marching
music ends

no matter where
our lives may lead us

in our hearts,
we'll still be friends

though the time
has come for parting

and the future
lies unknown

although the years
may come between us

we will never feel alone

for friends we are now

and friends we'll stay

until we meet again

one wonderful day

although the time
has come for parting

we'll be friends
until we die

tim: Stop, you guys.
What are you kidding yourselves for?

A month from now,
you won't even remember each other's names.

All: What?

Sure, you're great
buddy-buddies now.

I've seen it before.
It's like a girl you meet up in the catskills.

You never see her again
when you get back to the city.

Hey, what are you
talking about?

This is different.
We've been together 4 years.

The war's over, kids.

In a month from now-

all right, tim.
You give us one month, huh?

I say we're
friends for life

and nothing
can change it.

5 years, 10 years...
look, tim, i'll make you a bet.

10 years from today,
october 11, 1955, at 12:00 noon.

No matter where we are
or what we're doing,

the 3 of us are going
to walk right through that door and meet here.

Right, guys?

Both: Right.
You're crazy.

You want
to bet $1,000?

Please.

All right, then. A buck
from each of us against one buck from you.

Enjoy. Enjoy.

Not to be opened
till 1955.

In the safe.

I'll make a little memo
here for ourselves.

October 11, 1955.

You said it.

Good luck, guys.
I'll probably never see you again,

but good luck anyway.

You'll see us.

You got a date
october 11, 1955.

12:00 noon.

Start chilling a bottle
of champagne right now.

You sure you're going
to be all right, ted?

Sure. Sure.

Well, so long.

Kid mariacchi.

Go ahead, kid.

Nashby, sports herald.
You manage the kid?

Yeah.
Hiya, rocky.

What do you say, sport?

Why don't you give him
a little squib?

Why don't you have him over
at stillman's about 4:00?

We'll shoot
some glamour stuff.

Thanks very much.

You're new in
the fight racket, huh?

Yeah. Didn't even know
i was going to be in it until about 8 months ago.

I won the kid
in a game of chance.

Huh?
A crap game.

No credit to me.
I figured i couldn't get anything with him

if i tried to hock him,
so i tried to do something with him.

You sure did do
something with him.

This kid's no punk.

8 knockouts
in a row.

Number 9 tonight,
huh, kid? Yeah.

Mr. Nashby,
sports herald.

You look great,
mariacchi.

Best of luck
tonight. Thanks.

How you feeling,
kid? I'm ok.

Look, get a couple
hours of shuteye

and then meet me
over at stillman's gym at 4:00.

The newspapers
want some pictures.

I don't need
no pictures.

Any pictures.
And you do need pictures.

Give me something
for a cab, will you? A fin?

A fin? I got exactly
$2.00 and some loose change.

Here, take it all.

Hey, what's this?
Confederate money?

Hey, give me that.

October 11, 1955.

Hey, that's today.

Today? That-

oh, doug and angie.

What am i
talking about?

If i go over there,
nobody will show up.

I'm the biggest
sucker of all time.

Where do you have to go?

Tim's bar
on third avenue.

It's a long way
from here.

You're nuts.
It's 10 minutes.

No.

It's 10 years.

What can i do
for you?

Oh, could i just have
a glass of water, please?

Say, uh, when
did you get this?

Ex-g.i. Gave it
to me a long time ago.

Funny thing. Lots of
people ask me about it.

He went off to europe
to paint or something.

Long distance. I'd like
to place a call to chicago.

Long beach 1-0-8-8-0.
Mrs. Douglas hallerton, please.

Tune in tonight
at 11:00 for miss mop-up, miss mop-up, miss mop-up.

Don't forget, tonight
miss mop-up presents

midnight with madeline,
brought to you by klenzrite.

Channel 89 at 11:00.
K-l-e-n-z-r-l-t-e spells klenzrite!

Hello? Hello, dorothy?
This is doug.

I'm in new york.
No, not on business,

something much
more important.

Dorothy, what is this number
where they reached you?

Oh, your lawyer's.
Well, dorothy, look.

Do you have to go
through with it?

I know, but if you
love me, why a divorce?

We've been over this
a thousand times.

What do you mean,
i've changed?

What's changed about me?

Dorothy, i don't know
what you're driving at.

Hi, tim!

Well, chum,
what'll you have?

Don't you know me, tim?

I'm angie!
Angelo valentine, united states infantry.

A lot of fellas come
and go in here, buddy.

Yeah, i guess they do.

Have you seen
two other fellas today?

I wouldn't be doing
such a good business

if i hadn't seen
two fellas all morning.

Sure.

Should've known.
Number one sucker of all time.

Doug.
You're ted. Hey!

You haven't
changed much, doug,

except for
that brush.

Get a load
of that brush, will you, ted?

Ha ha ha!

Where'd you come
in from, doug?

Chicago.
How about you?

Schenectady.
Same old place.

How about you, ted?

I've been here
the whole time.

You have? I didn't
know you'd been here all this time.

Yeah. Well...

yeah! Well.

We're us!

Hey, tim!
Tim!

Tim, we made it!

Well, well, well,
if it isn't the rover boys.

He didn't even know me
when i first came in.

Tim, you said
we'd never make it, and here we are.

You got no faith,
that's what's the matter with you.

Come on, set 'em up.

Got to break open
a fresh bottle for this.

I don't think i could
handle a drink, ted.

What?

I'm not too fit
digestion-wise.

Little bit of
a nervous stomach.

Oh. Well, come
to think of it,

i haven't had a drink
at noon in a lot of years myself.

Maybe i could
handle one.

I'll take a couple
of these pills.

Ok by me. I'm game.
Boy, this is great.

Well, to us.

To us.

Cut that out, will you?
The sacroiliac.

Oh, i'm sorry.

If connie could
only see me now-

drinking in the middle
of the afternoon.

I got some pictures here
of connie and the kids.

Very nice.

You kept pretty
busy these 10 years.

Yeah. How about
you guys? You married?

Yes, i'm married.

Pictures of the kids?

No. We don't
have any children.

Well, i'll lend you
a couple of mine!

And how about you, ted?
You married?

No, thank you.
Well, let's have another drink.

Yeah. Let's have
another drink.

Boy, this is great.
Great.

You know what?
Let's drink to old bootsie.

Who?
Who's old bootsie?

You know. Don't you
remember? Bootsie.

That kid in our outfit
who was always tripping over everything.

From the south.
We always used to toast old bootsie.

Don't you remember?
It was good luck,

and then we always
used to laugh.

Why?

I don't know.

Sure.
Come on, doug. Old bootsie.

No. I couldn't
handle another one.

All right, angie.
Bottoms up.

Bottoms up.

Here you are, tim.

No, here.
Let me get this.

No. No, i'm
the host here.

This is
my hometown.

Hey, 50 bucks.

You're doing
all right, ted,

but i always
knew you would.

I'm doing swell.

I borrowed it
from my barber this morning.

It's strictly
temporary.

I'll be
in the chips tomorrow.

I got to call connie
and tell her about this.

She didn't believe
you guys would show up.

She's a great girl,
connie. Sometimes a little bit jealous.

Guess you know what
that's like, huh, doug?

Oh, sure.

I'll tell you
what we'll do.

We'll have
a few more drinks here,

and we'll
go somewhere for lunch, huh?

Yeah.

Florio's.

Florio's. Veal parmigiana.
Lasagne.

I couldn't handle
that heavy food.

I have to be
a little careful, restaurant-wise-

go where they know me.

Why don't i take
you two chaps to the turquoise?

The turquoise?
Whoo.

I'll handle it.

No. I can
handle it.

No. I wouldn't
think of it.

I'll just put it
on the expense account.

I'll charge
this whole day off as a business trip.

That's just swell.

Doug, you never did
get back to europe to paint, did you?

No. Career-wise, it
didn't seem practical,

but i've been creative
in the advertising line

with little miss mop-up
for klenzrite and jolio the gelatin man.

No. I don't miss
la vie boheme one bit.

Little miss mop-up.
You did that?

What do you know?

If you're ever up
schenectady way,

you have to drop in
at my place.

Real red meat
at the cordon bleu.

At the what?

The cordon bleu.
That's the name of my hamburger joint.

Ha ha ha!
That's rich.

That is priceless.

What's so funny?

As far as names go,
it seems to me little miss mop-up

and jolio
the gelatin man

are pretty priceless
themselves.

Oh, well, l-

come on. Jolio
the gelatin man.

Your call to
schenectady, sir.

Gee, thanks.

Hello? Connie?
Hey, it's me.

I'm talking
to you from a table at the turquoise.

What a swanky dump.

What do you know?
They both showed up.

Oh, it's great.
Like old times.

How are the kids?
Good.

How did johnny do
in the columbus day school pageant?

Oh? He forgot
"oh, columbus, we salute you"?

Went over that line
a thousand times with him.

Look, connie, i'll
call you back later.

Tell you when
i'm coming home.

Miss you, too.
Yeah. Good-bye.

Ted, how about you?

Law school and
the political arena?

The midtown arena
is about the only arena i know.

Which reminds me-
i have to get up

to stillman's gym
later and look at my fighter.

Racketeers in
the fight game, huh?

Glad i'm in
a respectable business.

I shouldn't have come

i shouldn't have come

this thing's a mistake

an awful mistake

that guy's such a snob

and who is that hick?

Can these be the guys
i once thought

i could never live without?

Doug: Who do you think
will win the world series?

Both teams look
pretty good to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

May the best team win.

This thing is a frost

i'd like to get lost

old pals are the bunk

this guy's a cheap punk

and that one's a heel

and i'm a schlemiel

can these be the guys
i once thought

i could never live without?

This thing's a bad dream

why can't i just scream?

Aaaaah!

Oh, why did i fly

to new york from chi?

To drink scotch at noon

with a hick and a goon

can these be the guys
i once thought

i could never live without?

This guy is a punk,
a punk, a punk

this guy is a snob,
a snob, a snob

this guy is a dope,
a hick, a square

i shouldn't have come,
i'm in despair

our dreams are dust
and down the drain

this thing is a bust,
and i'm insane

oh, why did
i come? Why am i here?

A hick
a square a snob

a punk a hick
a square a slob

a ha ha ha
ho ho ho ho

a hick, a square,
a snob, a punk

why did i come?
Why am i here?

Why?

Good afternoon,
miss leighton.

This way, please.

Thank you, carl.

Thank you.

Scotch old-fashioned,
please, carl.

That's what i like.
An old-fashioned girl.

I'm an old-fashioned
boy, myself.

Here we are, gentlemen.

Salisbury steak medium
for you, sir.

Thank you.

Medium rare for you,
mr. Hallerton.

Thank you.

And well done
for you, sir.

Thank you.

Hey! You call this
a hamburger? For 4 bucks?

Angie, shh, please.

Come on, ted,
you taste it.

You know about horses.
I tell you this hamburger ran in the kentucky derby.

Forget it, angie.

Listen. If i served
stuff like this,

i'd be run out
of schenectady on the third rail.

Will you shut up?

What did you say?

I said be quiet.
This is very embarrassing.

Angie, don't act
like a yokel.

We're in a very
high-class place.

Didn't stop you
from trying to make a quick pickup, i noticed.

I've picked up
dames

in better places
than this.

I doubt that.

I don't think
either of you crumbs

could get in a place
like this without me.

Who's a crumb?

You are.
You cheap snob.

I'm sorry.
Me, too.

So am i.

I guess
we've had it.

Yeah.
Guess so.

Waiter.
Check, please.

Man: Hey, hallerton.

Well, well, well.

Oh, mr. Fielding.

I didn't know
you were in town.

Just for the day.

How's
the missis? Fine, thank you.

Is she
with you? No, not this trip.

Oh, mr. Fielding,

these are
two friends of mine.

Mr. Valentine,
and this is mr. Riley.

How do you do,
mr. Fielding?

We were in the war
together.

We're having
a little reunion.

Haven't seen each
other in 10 years.

Must be a lot of fun
getting together to talk about old times.

Mr. Fielding,
excuse me.

Oh, miss leighton.

I've been calling you
and couldn't reach you.

It's very important.

Miss leighton,
i want you to meet hallerton of chicago.

He's one of our executive
vice presidents out there.

He's responsible for
the miss mop-up campaign.

Oh, you're the one.

Miss leighton
is one of our best idea men.

I should
say women.

You certainly should.

You know, she's
the program coordinator

on our biggest
klenzrite tv show-

midnight
with madeline.

What do you know?

Doug, aren't you
going to introduce us?

Oh, certainly.

Miss leighton, this is
mr. Valentine and mr. Riley.

Ted riley.

I suggest
we skip lunch

and get right over
to madeline's rehearsal.

You know how she is.

Sweetie,
i can't.

I'm waiting here
for stamper and trasker.

And donner
and blitzen.

I'm afraid
we really better go.

All right.

Doug, why don't
you come along and have a look-see?

We're
rehearsing over at the fontainebleau.

I'd like
that very much.

Well, so long, fellas.

Bring your
friends along.

No!

I mean, we're
just about through here lunch-wise,

and i'm sure
they're very busy appointment-wise.

Not at all, doug.
We'd love to come along.

I've got about an hour
to kill before i have to be at stillman's gym.

You see, i own a plug-ugly
who's going to be engaged fisticuffs-wise tonight,

and i have to stop by
and put the lead weights in his gloves

and wise him up
wise-wise.

Sure. Sure.
Come along.

You, too, mr. -

i'd sure like
to meet madeline in the flesh-

maybe get her
autograph to take home.

Yes, you could
hang it on the wall of your hot dog stand.

Hamburgers.

Hamburgers, of course.
How crude of you, douglas. Shall we go?

Man: Say, fielding?

Oh, stamper
and trasker.

Yes. We're just
on our way over to the fontainebleau,

and this is-

the fontainebleau,
please.

7 of us couldn't
fit in one cab.

Of all the-

now, don't get mad.
I had a crazy notion

you and i should get
better acquainted.

I see.

Besides, i think
you're about

the prettiest
program coordinator i've ever seen.

You know, a fella's
not safe

alone in a cab
with a girl these days.

All right.

Ok. Satisfied?
I just couldn't face the boredom

of fighting you off
for 10 blocks.

It's the simplest
method, my own invention.

Remove the initiative
from the brute male,

and he'll retire
in confusion.

Now, while you
retire in confusion, i'll do a little work.

What kind of
a screwball are you?

To save you the strain
of trying to understand me,

i'll give you
the salient facts.

Graduate of barnard,
summa cum laude, career girl.

I'm fairly pretty,
which is a nuisance.

I attract a lot of men
at first,

but i can always
find a way of getting rid of them,

and then everybody's
happy all around.

In short, i can
always scare them off.

I don't scare easy.

No?
No.

Did you ever hear
of planck,

who discovered
the quantum theory in 1895?

Without that
and maxwell's field theory,

there never
would have been a theory of relativity.

And did you ever hear
of magadization,

the pre-medieval
musical system

of voices singing
or playing octaves apart?

And did you-
time.

Did you ever hear
of kid mariacchi?

Kid mariacchi?
Yeah.

Middleweight.
Fighting tonight.

5 foot 9,
165.

39,
42.

8 straight knockouts
in a row.

Good chance of flattening
helding tonight.

You're
flattening me right now.

It's just a trick.
It doesn't mean anything.

It has nothing
to do with intelligence,

but men do find it
an awful bore.

And i'll tell
you something. I don't care.

Because as shakespeare
said in the tempest, act 2, scene 7:

"Most friendship
is feigning, most loving mere folly."

"Most friendship
is feigning, most loving mere folly."

Well, in some ways,
you and me

and shakespeare
see eye to eye.

I got my diploma
this afternoon.

You and your
war buddies?

Yeah. You saw it.

We met at our old
wartime hangout,

little place called
tim's bar.

We expected to pick
up where we left off 10 years ago.

What a laugh.

Never mind.
It's on klenzrite.

See? You didn't
bother me

in the least
on the rest of the trip.

My own
invention.

That invention's
going to explode in your face someday, einstein.

Well, so long.

Aren't you going
to say good-bye to your pals?

We said good-bye
a long time ago.

But don't let
that worry you. You'll see me again.

Just take the male
initiative and pick me up at stillman's gym about 4:00.

I wouldn't
bet on that.

You know, there's
a lot of things you shouldn't bet on.

Like that shakespeare
quote, for instance.

It ain't the tempest act 2,
scene 7. it's as you like it act 2, scene 7.

"Hey-ho, sing hey-ho
unto the green holly,

most friendship is feigning,
most loving, mere folly."

Oh, i'm around
stillman's all the time.

Man: Quiet. Quiet, please.
Rehearsal.

Klenzrite presents...

midnight with madeline,
starring...

madeline!

Music is better than words

you break the spell
when you start to speak

that technique is all wrong

just forget about words
and sing her a song

music was made for romance

love and a sweet song
go hand in glove

every lover knows this

and the sweeter the song,
the sweeter the kiss

when you're
without love, you cry

and your song is the blues

but when you've
got love, you're high

and your song
is a gay refrain

a happy strain
that sings out the news

don't let the night
go to waste

looking for ways
to say i love you

take your cue from the birds

music

music is better

music is better than words

applause, applause,
applause.

And now, you dear
ladies and gentlemen,

we come to the part
of the program which is always my favorite

because it
means something.

Because it means
this big, cold canyon

we call new york
really has a heart,

and if you
listen very hard,

you can hear it throb.

The throb of manhattan.

Last week we brought you
thomas w. Jackwood,

reunited right here with
his wife and children after 30 years in jail.

Tonight again,
our surprise guest

or guests are
somewhere in this room.

Spotlight.

Could it be you?

Yes. Yes, it's you,
mr. Kebbner.

This, ladies and gentlemen,
is donald w. Kebbner of the bronx-

one of the last army
of little gray men

struggling along
from day to day gallantly making ends meet.

Everyone has a dream,
ladies and gentlemen.

Such a one is mr. Kebbner-

a simple man with a dream
of visiting the orient in its unparalleled splendor,

but all his life he has
spent in his candy store on superior avenue,

where he has brought
the orient to him

by constructing,
for 16 years,

a complete table-sized
model of the taj mahal

executed entirely
in chewing-gum wrappers.

No. No. No. No!
I will not have this on my show!

It's terrible!

Jackie, what are you
trying to do, ruin me?

Madeline, it's
the best we could do as a last-minute substitute.

We had something
so wonderful-

a totally reformed drunkard
who was going to tell us his inspiring story.

Yes, but
he got drunk.

You geniuses will
just have to put your heads together.

I won't do the show tonight.
I just won't go on.

I want 40 million people
to sit home and cry and love me.

Sam, get me a club
sandwich, a double order of french fries,

and two cans of beer.
Make it 3!

Madeline, please,
your diet...

you know what happens
to your figure when you start eating.

Who cares about my
diet or my figure?

I'm unhappy,
and i want to eat.

Here's a nice
pimento cheese sandwich.

I don't want
a pimento cheese sandwich.

Sweetie, it took you
so long to take off those 20 pounds.

You mustn't give up
the battle of the bulge.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Look who's talking,
fatso.

You didn't get
that corporation

on lettuce
and tomato sandwiches.

Yeah, but, sweetie,

nobody pays to look
at me in an evening gown.

Who cares? I'm not
going on tonight!

Madeline,
wait a minute.

This chewing-gum
man has no sympathy!

Look, sweetie.
You got to lay off those fat sandwiches.

Now calm down,
everybody.

I think i've got
the spot solved for tonight.

It's the foulest
notion i've had yet,

but after all,
it's for the glory of klenzrite.

The show must go on.

What is it?

It's human. It's
up to the minute.

It's guaranteed to
tear your guts out!

Yes?

It will take
coordination-

everybody pitching
in, even you.

Darling, what is it?

The 3 war buddies.
They met today for the first time

in 10 years at their
old hangout,

a little place
called tim's bar.

You mean hallerton
and what's his name and what's his name?

Right.
And tonight, much to their surprise,

they will meet
again at 11:00

and be interviewed
by madeline on throb of manhattan.

Oh! It's beautiful!
Beautiful!

Our boys and me
and the whole nation watching and weeping.

That's very good. You
think we ought to talk to hallerton about this?

No. This has to be
a surprise show.

Something tells me
these 3 old pals

wouldn't want
to do this.

You just take care
of hallerton

and get him
to the theater by 11:00.

And, madeline,
you take care of mr. Schenectady.

How am i going
to take care of mr. -

don't let him
out of your sight.

Take him anyplace
he wants to go.

To dinner?

Yes. Eat
your head off.

Now, let's see,
that's hallerton and valentine,

and i guess
i'll have to be

responsible
for number 3.

Nashby: Get that.

Ok, that's enough.

Hey, what's
eating you?

Huh? Oh. Nothing.

I was just thinking
about the fight.

Ted.

Thanks, nashby.
So long.

You mad at me
about something?

What have i got
to be mad at you about?

Man: Riley.
Someone to see you.

Someone about 6 foot 4
with a broken nose and an i.o.u. In his hand?

No. About 5 foot 5,
neat little nose, and "i love you" in her eyes.

Hey, lady.
Come in.

Hello.

Well, well, well.
Right on the dot.

Are you always
this prompt?

Yes. I'm just
a machine.

Good. I love
to tinker with machinery.

I had a couple
of hours off,

and i remembered
your kind invitation.

I thought i'd
drop in and see

all you colorful folk
of the world of fisticuffs in action.

Sort of research, huh?

In a manner
of speaking.

You're just in time
for a nice hot cup

of rubbing alcohol
and crumpets.

Miss leighton, this is,
as if you didn't know, kid mariacchi.

How do you do?
Hello.

Ok, kid, get dressed.
You'll be great tonight.

And lefty louie.

Delighted.

Butch mcsween.

Charmed.

Boys, miss leighton.

Pleased to meet you.
Hello.

Miss leighton is here
to do some research.

She says
she wants to see

the colorful folk
of the world of fisticuffs in action.

I'm sure you'll oblige.

Mariacchi: Hey, ted.

Mr. Riley,
i'll be delighted

to escort
miss leighton until your return.

Louie, you're
a gentleman and a scholar.

It's a pleasure.
I'll be right back.

Fellow colleagues,
do your stuff.

Yeah!

Look at me.
I'm shadow boxing.

He's got
a glass jaw.

This is headgear.
It protects me.

Sucks wind
in the third round.

Boxer:
1, 2, button my shoe, 3, 4, shut the door.

Louie:
Good counter-puncher.

Well, charming little
place you have here.

Charming little place?
Lady, this is an institution.

It's been like
a mother to us

and to our
fathers before us.

These old walls
are as steeped in tradition

as the ivy-covered
walls of harvard.

Over on new york's
eighth avenue

stands a building
gray and grim

it's the home
of broken noses

our alma mater,
stillman's gym

though the plastered
walls are peeling

and it looks a mess to some

we point with pride to that
spot on the northwest side

mmm

where john l. Sullivan
always parked his gum

stillman's. Stillman's.
Rah, rah, rah!

Hit them in the breadbox.
Uh. Uh.

Fight... for stillman's.
Fight.

Sock them with a right hook.
Ouch. Ouch.

Make him hear the birdies.
Peep. Peep.

Fight... for stillman's.
Fight.

Stillman's,
dear old stillman's

home of famous fighting men

for you, dear old stillman's

i'd lay me down
for the count of 10

rah, rah, rah

stillman's,
dear old stillman's

we worship at your shrine

for you, dear old stillman's

i'd get me up
at the count of 9

as we think
of stillman's graduates

our eyes begin to mist

for the fighting game
has its heavyweight hall of fame

with john l. Sullivan
leading off the list

and after him
came, uh...

james corbett.

Yeah. And then...

bob fitzsimmons,
james jeffries, jack johnson

jess willard, jack dempsey,
gene tunney, max schmeling

primo carnera, max baer,
james braddock, joe louis

ezzard charles, joe walcott,
and rocky marciano

yay!
Yay!

Just a minute!
In what round

did dempsey
knock out firpo?

Round two.

Where?
The polo grounds.

When?
1923.

In what round did louis
knock out schmeling?

First round,
2 minutes, 4 seconds.

When?

1938.

In what round
did jeffries

knock down
fitzsimmons?

The 2nd, the 10th,
and 11th.

Yay!
Yay!

What a dame,
what a dame

she belongs
in the hall of fame

baby, you knock me out

you're the dame
with the frame they whistle at

you're the dame with the brain
in the picture hat

you're the doll
with a wallop like a baseball bat

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10

boing, i'm flat

baby, you knock me out

you're the missis
with the kisses super-sweet

you're the top,
people stop you when you're on the street

you're a wower
with the power, i admit defeat

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10

boing, i'm beat

star light, star bright,
i see stars when you move in

one, two, left, right,
you win

you got me
hanging on the ropes

baby, you knock me out

you're the broad
i'd applaud in a broadway show

you're the chick
with a kick like a rodeo

honeybunch,
you got the punch that lays me low

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10

boing, k.o.

Baby, you knock me out

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10, bong

how strong

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10

bong, come on

you got me hanging
on the ropes!

Boxers: Baby,
you knock me out

you're the broad i'd applaud
in a broadway show

you're the chick with a kick
like a rodeo

honeybunch,
you got the punch that lays me low

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10, boing

k.o.!

Left, right,
hear me shout

baby

you knock me out

thanks, fellas.
Good-bye.

Bye!
Bye! Bye!

I see you made
quite a hit with the fellas.

Thanks. If i'm staying
with you for dinner,

i have some calls
to make-my office, for instance.

Dinner?

Don't you
want me to?

Look, i hate to curb
your male initiative,

but a guy likes to ask
once in a while.

Well, then ask me.

Miss leighton,
would you do me the honor-

yes. Come on.

Look,
it'll have to be a quick dinner.

I got the fight
tonight, you know.

Oh. I'll go
with you to the fight.

Hello, roy.
Is madeline-good.

And fielding? Fine.

Now, what about the costumes
for the singing girls?

Have we any cute
military outfits around?

Oh. Well, listen.

Right after the rehearsal,
i'll meet the girls at the grove costume company.

What do you say, sport?

Hiya, rocky.

Hi.

Hi.

You're pretty smart,
sport.

I mean, you're cagey,
you know what i mean?

No. What do you mean?

I mean, you're so cagey,
you won't even discuss it with me,

what's in on it.

In on what?

On it.

Oh, on, uh...

the fix.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The fix.

Sure. You don't have to
worry about nothing, ted.

Charlie culloran
set it up great.

Charlie culloran's
pretty good at that sort of thing.

Oh, yeah.
We been rehearsing.

We got it down
perfect.

You and, uh...

me and marl-

me and mariacchi.

Look, rocky,
don't you think

you ought to run
over it once again just to make sure?

No. I got it down pat.

Uh, in the fourth round,
me and the kid, we come out,

and we dance around
a little bit. You know.

And all of a sudden,
i throw a beautiful left hook.

Catches the kid
right on the button.

He does a neat
half gainer into the canvas

and swims the length
of the ring. Huh?

Sounds prettier
than the russian ballet.

Well, it'll bring us
maybe not fame, but fortune.

Listen, rocky,
play it cagey, will you?

I mean, don't go around
shooting your mouth off

to somebody who might
not be in on the fix.

That would be,
shall we say, silly?

What-what do you
take me for?

I'm... sheesh.

Uh, i'll see you
at charlie culloran's after the fix-

i mean, the fight.

Sorry. I need the phone.

I'll call you back.

Come on. Come on.

Well, really!

Get me a load
of dimes. Who do you think-

hurry up!

Well, that's that.

You've been
on that phone for years.

I'm sorry, baby.
Last-minute changes, urgent business,

but now we'll
concentrate on you.

We'll go to some
nice quiet place-

listen, there's
something i have to do.

I must go
to the grove costume company

and see about some changes
for tonight's show.

Do you mind coming along?

What have i got
to lose?

Oh, what a day.

The end of old
friendship's beautiful dream,

and now a frame-up.
Taxi!

What?

They're trying to
pull a fast one on me,

but i outsmarted
them.

Who?

I just found out

that sweet kid
you met inside- mariacchl-

is taking
a dive tonight.

What?
Yeah. The fight's fixed.

A big fat
combine behind it.

Oh, that's awful.

Taxi!

Is that what
you were phoning about?

Did you tip off
the boxing commission?

Did i tip off-

you think
i want to get my head bashed in

in a dark alley
some night?

Oh, no.
I played dumb.

Took a lot of doing,
but i managed to get all my bets

switched
to rocky helding.

I should make
a pile of dough out of it.

Hey, taxi!

Oh.

Situation-wise
and saturation-wise,

i think this fiscal
year is going to top them all.

What do you think,
hallerton?

What wise?

I said
situation-wise.

Excuse me.
I thought you said saturation-wise.

I did. I said
situation-wise and saturation-wise.

Definitely.
Mr. Fielding, i've got to get home.

I want to see dorothy.
I'm just beginning to see-

nonsense. You can't
leave now.

You've got to stay
and see that program tonight,

and celia's expecting you
for dinner.

Trasker,
where were we?

Trasker: Sales-resistance-wise
and competition-wise,

we have nosed out
every other brand from coast to coast.

That's consumer-wise
and housewife-wise.

Fielding: But soft-spot-wise
and danger-wise,

we've got to keep our eyes
on november, december, january, and february.

All: I think
this fiscal year is going to top them all.

And sales-resistance-wise
and competition-wise,

we've nosed out every
other brand from coast to coast.

But situation-wise
and saturation-wise,

i think this fiscal year
is going to top them all.

And sales-resistance-wise
and competition-wise...

we've got to keep
our eye on...

we've got to
keep our eye on...

keep our eye on...

november, december,
january, february,

january, february,
january, february...

march, march, march,
april, may, june

june, june, june...

oh, excuse me.
I have a little bit of a headache.

Pardon me.
I'll just step outside for a minute.

I'll be here.

Ok, madeline,
that's all.

Girls, over to
grove's costume.

Oh, schenectady!
Meet you in the lobby

as soon
as i change.

Don't forget,
you're taking me to dinner.

I'll be there.
Well, bye, girls.

Thanks a lot
for showing me everything...

and everything.

You're welcome.

Can't wait to see
the show tonight

and watch
donald kebbner's face

when he finds
he's a surprise guest.

Boy, they really
keep it secret, don't they?

That's the whole fun.

Hey, look at that.

I always dreamed
of having things like that

in my restaurant
in schenectady.

Do you own
a place like this?

Well, it's not exactly
like this.

It's only, uh...
it's more modern.

Oh. Bye.

Bye.

Man: Oh,
there you are.

It's late.
Come on, girls. Line up.

Jackie: I know, max.
I'm terribly sorry. Sorry, girls.

Oh, max,
the hats are all wrong.

It's supposed to
be america, not mauritania.

We'll have to do
something about them.

Let me see.
Get me those little overseas caps,

number 9764-j
in your catalog. Come on, girls.

Ok, girls,
follow me.

I'll be
right back, ted.

When the time has come
for parting

and the marching
music ends

no matter where
our lives may lead us

we'll be friends
until we die

once upon a time,
i had two friends

once upon a time

i thought
that friendship never ends

once i had
a dream

what a joke

all: Gone is that dream

up in smoke

all: Once i had a dream

what a joke

gone is that dream

up in smoke

gone is that dream

up

in

smoke

ted.

Ted, shall we go?

Look, lady,
you're excused.

You don't have to
hang around with me all evening.

I wish i didn't
have to hang around with myself.

Jackie: But, ted,
we were going to have dinner and go to the fights.

Don't you remember?

I don't get you.

First it was
strictly no dice,

for which i can
hardly blame you, and now-

i don't figure
a broad like you.

I don't get you.
You talk like a mug, or you try to,

but obviously-
well, that shakespeare quote.

Oh, no. I used to
have quite a fund of useless information.

Just ask angie and doug.

I don't have to
ask angie and doug.

You know something?
Those two used to think

i was greater
than babe ruth, justice holmes,

and dick tracy
rolled into one.

What did they think
you were going to turn out to be?

Oh, nothing much,
just a great man.

I have
a sneaking feeling i've let them down

just a wee bit.

If they knew
about my, shall we say,

helpful attitude
toward this fix,

the boys would be
real proud of me.

Don't you think so?

Don't look for
any sermons from me.

I've been involved
in some fixes myself.

I suppose everybody's
in some racket or other.

Say, what is this
tough-woman-of-the-world pose of yours?

What's your problem?
Some man done you wrong?

Oh, really.

No. You'd never let
anyone get near enough.

You think you know
all the answers.

You take
the initiative. You-

actually, you're just
plain inhibited. That's your problem.

Look.

Don't give me
any two-bit snap psychoanalysis.

Anyone can do it.

10 years ago, fresh out of the army,

you were going to
amount to something,

but you had
a disappointment.

I don't know if
it was a small blond one or a tall dark one,

but ever since then,
you've been taking it out on the world

and yourself.

That'll be 25 cents,
please.

That was no
snap analysis, lady. That was my life.

I'm sorry.

Nah,
that's all right.

You were terrific,
doc.

You hit it
square on the hose.

Speaking of
snap analysis,

i owe you 25 cents.

Hmm?

You hit it
square on the nose about me, doc.

Sorry. Got to lock up.

Oh. We were just going.

Here. Go get yourself
analyzed.

The chicago concert
season sounds just divine.

Mrs. Hallerton and i

have subscription
tickets to everything,

but she always
has to go with her cousin minnie

because old fatso
over there keeps me working too long.

Who? Ha ha ha!

How is dear
mrs. Hallerton?

How should i know?
I'm married to her.

Does she still have
those awful headaches?

Yeah, and she's
tried everything-

pills, analysis,
astrology, witchcraft.

Nothing helps.
It's very simple- she's dying.

I'm boring her
to death.

Ha ha ha!

She has a certain
look when she's with me.

It's a combination
of boredom, disgust, and pity.

I saw that same look
on ted and angie's faces today.

You know who's
looking at me right now

with that same look?

Not me?

No, not you,
4 eyes. Me.

Hey, garcon! Hey!

Boy, i wouldn't have
any more of those if i were you, doug.

And i sneaked
5 on the side. That makes 8.

Hey, you!

Fielding: You've got
to stay in shape tonight, my boy.

You're coming
to madeline's program, you know.

Do i have to witness
that maudlin, disgusting junk-

see some poor, helpless
surprised guest make an idiot of themself?

Well... ha ha ha!

There must be
some more dignified way to sell klenzrite-

like you taking a bath
stark-naked in macy's window.

Well, why don't you
fire me?

I wouldn't dream
of it, my boy.

I just want you
to stay in shape tonight, that's all.

Where do you get off
owning paintings like these-

picasso, braque,
rouault, renoir?

What do you know
about painting anyway, you old goof?

Your art appreciation
ended with mutt and jeff.

Ha ha ha!

Do you have any idea
what it takes to be a great artist

or even
an inferior one?

The dedication,
the sacrifice, the time?

Come on, meathead.
Fire me.

Speaking of meatheads,
that reminds me.

Dinner-

just a second.
Just a second.

Doug. Doug!

This is a surprise
for ted and angie.

Ha ha ha!

It's a surprise
for ted and angie.

Voila! No mustache.

Huh? Ted and angie
would know me now.

Doug, i'm glad you're down.
We're a little late, dinner-wise.

Dinner-wise. Gee,
i wish i'd have said that-wise.

Whoop. Drink-wise.
Drink-wise, drink-

sorry-wise.

Apologize.

Sorry-wise,
apologize.

Sorry-wise,
apologize.

Sorry-wise,
apologize

sorry-wise
and apologize-wise

apologize-wise
and sorry-wise

apologize-wise
and apologize-wise

situation-wise,
saturation-wise, competition-wise

sales-resistance-wise,
television-wise, and meathead-wise

and fatso-wise
and wise-and-wise

ba ba ba ba ba bap

situation-wise,
saturation-wise

saturation-wise
and situation-wise

drink-wise, pill-wise

audio-wise and video-wise
and video-wise and audio-wise

audio-video-wise
and video-audio-wise

i dream of jeanie
with the light brown hair

situation-wise

saturation-wise

situation-wise,
saturation-wise, and sl-

be my love,
for no one else can end this yearning

for you, i'll make
the sweetest music

time for the party-wise!

Do do do do ha!

Do do, ooh ooh,
hee hoo

hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm

doodle oo, doodle oo,
doodle oo

sound retreat!

Damsel in distress!
Charge!

Follow me!
Over the moat!

Dinner-wise,
i'm with you, jerry-lewis-wise.

Stand back.
My old trick.

Nothing up my sleeves.
No mustache.

Max.

Think he'll win?

Sure. Hi.

Hi.

Well, if it isn't
ted riley.

Well, if it isn't
charlie culloran. What a nice surprise.

What are you
doing here, charlie?

Just came over
to say hello to you

and wish the kid
good luck.

That's swell
of you, charlie.

He looks great.
Thanks.

Frankly,
when i lost him to you,

i thought he was
just nothing.

You've done
wonders with him.

Thanks again.

I'll see you
around.

A few things
i want to talk to you about soon.

Sure thing, charlie.

I want you
to come up to the house.

I'll have my wife cook us
a nice chicken dumpling dinner

with all
the trimmings.

And bring
the young lady.

Sure thing, charlie.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Who is that?

That's little
miss fix-it and his crowd of debutantes.

Oh.

Ted: Hiya, kid.

Where were you?
You're late, ted.

I get it.

Good luck
tonight. Thanks.

Ok, georgie,
i'll finish here.

Wait outside.
Thanks.

Get a good rest?

Sure. I feel swell.

I'm glad,
because i got everything i own

riding on you
tonight, kid, but i know

i'm a cinch
to clean up on you.

Yeah.

You seem
a little nervous.

Who, me? Uh-uh.

You got nothing
to be nervous about.

It's a big night.

Yeah. It was
a big day today, too.

Remember that
date i had to keep at 12:00?

Yeah.

That wasn't
with a girl.

It turned out
to be a date with myself.

Huh?

First time
i met up with myself

in about
10 years.

You sound nuts.

But i'm glad
i got you, kid.

You're my one
accomplishment.

Yeah, you're right.
The boys are real proud of you.

Huh? What
did you say?

I said the boys
are real proud of you.

The boys.

Look, kid,
remember what i told you

about keeping
your hands down? Come here.

See, you got them
down like this, all relaxed.

George: Come on, kid!
They're waiting for you!

Ok, go ahead.
He'll be right up.

Come on.
Let's get out of here.

You go on, georgie.
I'll bring him right up.

Taxi.

530 east 48th street.

Ted, you idiot,
what did you do?

Those men
are going to kill you.

Between
the two of us,

we can handle
anybody.

But, ted,
aren't you in terrible danger?

Yeah. Yeah,
i'm in terrible danger.

I'm in danger
of believing

that look
on your face.

You know,
10 years ago,

i told myself
i'd never let this happen again.

And then-

oh!

That's nothing,
darling. It's only the car.

No, it isn't.
Remember?

It's my own invention...

exploding in my face.

How's he coming,
swenson?

Fine, mr. Fielding.

I'll have him
shipshape in half an hour.

Good. We have to leave
for the telecast at 10:30.

I'll give him
deep massage,

and he'll be
good as new.

Oh. Somebody stole
my mustache.

Fielding, i want
that mustache returned, every hair in place.

Ha ha ha!

Miss leighton,
what on earth are you up to?

Hmm?

You've been
living here two years.

You know our simple,
steadfast rules-

no men beyond this line.

Couldn't you make
an exception in my case?

I'm a traveling
salesman.

I'm sorry.
And besides, miss leighton,

what are you
doing here at this hour?

You're usually
at your broadcast by this time.

Oh, the broadcast!
Ted, will you please wait here for me?

I have to change.
I'll be down in 10 minutes.

And listen, there's
something about the program i've got to tell you.

I'll tell you
on the way over, and you can make up your mind.

About what?

It's ridiculous,
and i'm sick of it,

and i'll explain it
on the way over. I'll hurry.

I'll be here.

Have you a side
entrance here?

Yes. There.

Tell miss leighton
i had to leave.

I'll meet her
at the broadcast. Thank you. Good-bye.

Why am i feeling
so good?

Why am i feeling
so strong?

Why am i feeling,
when things could look black

that nothing could
possibly go wrong?

This has been
a most unusual day

love has made me
see things in a different way

can it be

i like myself?

She likes me,
so i like myself

if someone wonderful
as she is

can think i'm wonderful

i must be
quite a guy

feeling so
unlike myself

always used to
dislike myself

but now my love
has got me riding high

she likes me, so

so do i

she likes me, so

so do i

ladies and gentlemen,

in just 3 minutes,
midnight with madeline will start.

Now, don't forget,
we have a battery of television cameras

cleverly concealed,
so be careful what you say to your neighbor

or how affectionate you are
with your partner of the evening

because remember,
you may be on tv.

What am i doing here?

Doug, if you stand
over here at the bar,

you'll be able
to see everything.

All right.

Host: If you look
up to the right of the monitor...

right this way,
mr. Valentine.

Host: Each time you see
the applause sign...

yes, sir,
what is it?

I want to see
miss leighton. Tell her it's ted riley.

Oh, mr. Riley,
i'm trasker.

The show's
just going on.

Please step
over here.

She'll see you
right afterwards.

Oh, thank you.

Host: Yes, yes, yes,
it's 11:00,

and the makers of
klenzrite, dozerite, isrite, and wasrite,

also manufacturers
of h2o cola,

that effervescent cola
that's pure as water,

as nonfattening as water,
but, oh, boy, that cola taste that zooms you up to the skies,

presents midnight with madeline,
starring...

me. May i come in?

Remember

that klenzrite is
the only washing soap

for you

remember

that klenzrite
is the soap

that washes things
so new

please remember

the many things
that only klenzrite can do

remember

to call your grocer
to send you

klenzrite

and now you dear
ladies and gentlemen,

guess what i'm
going to do.

I'm going to
sing you a song.

It's my latest recording,
and i do hope you just love it.

But even if you don't,
i don't really mind,

as long as you love me.

I'm watching and waiting

hello, sam. Hello, joe.

I'm waiting and watching

hello, max. Hello, bob.

Hello, jasper.

I hope and i yearn

hello, bill. Hello, phil.

Just for his return

hello, fellas!

Thanks for the present
of the silver-blue mink

thanks for the plane
and the ice-skating rink

thanks for the yacht
and for the solid-gold sink

thanks a lot,
but no, thanks

thanks for the scrabble set
with platinum board

thanks for the factory
once known as ford

thank you for finding me
the famous lost chord

thanks a lot,
but no, thanks

for i am just
a faithful lassie

waiting for
her faithful lad

and there's no gift,
however classy

by which this lassie
can be had

thanks for the banks
and for the santa fe line

thanks for the darling
uranium mine

but i'm a gal
with only one valentine

thanks a lot,
but no, thanks

thanks for the champagne

and thanks for
the state of maine

and thanks for the autographed
picture of john wayne

thanks a lot,
but no, thanks

thanks for the cruise

and thanks
for the oil wells that ooze

and thanks for that pair
of fred astaire shoes

thanks a lot,
but no, thanks

for i am just
a faithful lassie

waiting for
her faithful lad

and there's no gift,
however classy

by which this lassie
can be had

thanks for losing
your mind

and thanks for
fort knox, sealed and signed

but i've got a guy
who's clifton webb and marlon brando combined

thanks a lot,
but no, no, thanks

now, ladies and gentlemen,
our weekly featurette,

the throb of manhattan.

Dear ladies and gentlemen,

we come to the part
of the program which is always my favorite

because it means something,

because it means
this big, cold canyon we call new york

really has a heart.

Somewhere in this room
is the surprise guest or guests for this evening.

Could it be you?

Yes, boys,
you're on television!

Oh, the time has come
for parting

and the marching
music ends

no matter where
our lives may lead us

in our hearts,
we'll still be friends

for friends we are now,
and friends we'll stay

until we meet again
one wonderful day

let a million miles
divide us

let the years go
rolling by

although the time
has come for parting

we'll be friends
until we die

ladies and gentlemen,

10 years ago,
these 3 g.i. Joes returning from the war

made a solemn pledge
to meet again today.

They had their glorious
reunion at noon,

proving true friendship
never dies.

Yes, friends,
this is ted riley,

angelo valentine,
and douglas hallerton.

Boys, this reception
is also being given to you

by millions of people
sitting in their homes all over the country,

and i know that
just like me,

they are all feeling
a wee bit misty.

Bless you.

Oh, look. Little angelo
is blushing.

Bless him.
Isn't this wonderful?

Isn't this
a great surprise?

It certainly is
for me,

though i think
i was about to be tipped off.

This is why
you spent every minute of the day with me.

I should have
smelled a rat.

Hey, connie,
if you're watching, nothing happened!

Ha ha ha! Connie,
ladies and gentlemen,

is little angie's
wife, who is watching the show from schenectady.

And this is
douglas hallerton, everyone,

who knew nothing
about it,

even though he is
one of our own executive vice presidents

from chicago.

Now, really, doug,
isn't this a great moment for you,

being the surprise guest
on one of your own shows?

Madeline, sincerely,
i deserve every bit of it.

It's truly
a fitting climax

to 10 years
of self-degradation,

and if anyone interested
is watching,

i know what she meant,
change-wise, that is.

Uh, yes, yours is a true
success story, doug.

But not all of us
can reach the top, ladies and gentlemen.

Some of us sometimes
need a helping hand.

Take mr. Valentine,
for instance.

Now, mr. Valentine
is a sweet, simple person,

one of the vast army
of little gray men

who struggle along
from day to day,

gallantly making
ends meet.

Angie, we are going to
give you, absolutely free,

a klenzrite washing machine
plus a 5-year supply

of fishmayer's
non-scuffle shoes

for your poor, dear
little kiddies.

Bless you. Here is
your klenzrite guarantee

and mr. Fishmayer's
personal certificate.

Thanks a lot...

but no, thanks.

I'm not looking
for any handouts,

and i'm not one
of any vast army of little gray men.

I'm doing all right,
and i can take care of my own family.

Thank you.

Isn't that wonderful,
ladies and gentlemen?

And you, mr. Riley.

I understand that
you are engaged

in the glamorous world
of sports.

Tell us about
yourself, won't you?

There's nothing
to tell. I'm a bum.

Hmm?

A bum. You know,
a small-time operator.

I'm mixed up with
some of the shadiest characters in town.

As a matter of fact,

knowing the inspiring,
uplifting work you do on this program,

i feel terrible
about showing my face

in decent homes
all over the country.

Boys, don't be like me.
Live clean. Use klenzrite.

Uh, why, thank you.

And now tell us
about your glorious reunion.

The three of you
walked into tim's bar-

look, madeline,
i'd like to help you out

and give you

all the phony
sentiment and corn you want,

but i'm afraid
i'll have to disappoint you.

When the three of us
met today

in tim's bar
for the big moment, it was horrible.

The years had-

the years had
made us strangers.

We-we hated
one another.

I know now
why i hated them.

It's because
i hated myself.

But i'm glad
it happened

because i'd like
the guys to know

that whatever
they think of me,

i don't blame them,

and i'd give several
arms and legs

to win their
friendship and respect again.

I'll try and spend
the next 10 years winning it back.

Good night,
madeline. It's been swell.

Uh-

and now, ladies and gentlemen,
the klenzrite cakewalkers.

Hello, riley.

Charlie culloran.

Hi, rocky.

Dirty crook.

Ted: I'm sorry you feel
that way, rocky.

Charlie: We hate to
interrupt your evening of nightclubbing-

nightclubbing?
Why, this-

oh, yeah?

Yeah, but we'd like
to have you come along with us.

To your house
for that chicken dumpling dinner?

Ted, i'm afraid
you won't be able to enjoy

a chicken dumpling
dinner for 3 or 4 years.

Cover ted riley
with number 3 camera.

Get that mike
down closer and keep it there!

Maybe after 5 or 6
months,

you can take
a little clear broth.

Oh, really?

I'm afraid so.

Well, why this
attitude, charlie?

Of course you know, ted,
there was no fight tonight.

When the kid
regained consciousness,

he told us how
you'd knocked him out.

When charlie culloran
fixes a fix,

he wants it
to stay fixed.

What was that,
charlie?

I say when i fix them,
i want them to stay fixed.

Oh, fixed? Oh.
Thank you very much.

Yes. Well, i can
understand that, charlie.

Pride in one's work
and all.

Ted: I kind of felt
that tonight, too.

I was a little annoyed
at the kid for wanting to throw the fight

after all the hard work
i had done with him,

so i thought the best
thing to do was to incapacitate him

and prevent the fight
from going on.

Of course, if it was
just a matter of me being upset,

i'd forget about it,
but there are several other gentlemen involved,

and they'd like to have
a little chat with you.

Who could they be?

Barney gaber,
larry treadman, zeb o'flair-

barney, larry, zeb?
They're all in on the, uh, fix?

Yes, and i think
it would be a little rude

to keep them
waiting.

I have a couple
of boys here to escort us out.

Say, charlie,
have you ever been on tv?

What?

Have you ever
been on tv?

You know,
you got a beautiful full face,

but let's see
your profile.

The profile
is very important

for love scenes
and so forth.

That's very,
very nice.

Rocky, don't you think
charlie would be good on tv?

To tell you
the truth,

i never thought
about it before,

but up on the
screen, there's an actor there

who ain't
no prettier than charlie.

If i didn't
want to be deemed crazy,

i'd say
it was charlie.

What are you
talking about?

Yes, charlie,
you're on television.

You've just given
a nice, clear statement

before about
60 million people.

Why, you-

ted, you all right?

Doug: Angie, cover me!

Ready on the right.
Ready on the left.

Ready in the firing line.

Charge!
Charge!

Ted: Bombs away!

Hit the dirt!

Yay!
Yay! Yay!

Fire one!

I'm coming, angie!

Hey, look.

Let's get out of here
before they ask a lot of questions.

Ladies and gentlemen,
your madeline has done it again.

You have witnessed
not only the reunion of the 3 ex-g.i. S,

but also our additional
surprise guest,

charles z. Culloran,
notorious racketeer and gambler,

making a spontaneous
and unrehearsed confession

which will doubtless
send him up the river for 50 or 60 years!

All this on our weekly
human-interest featurette, the throb of manhattan.

March, march,
march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july
and august, september

sept, sept, september,
october-

what happened
to the rover boys?

We've been
on television.

Come on, tim.
Set 'em up.

Sure got to
hand it to you guys.

10 years, and
the same old pals.

Nothing changed.

Ha ha ha!

Tim, we love you.

You got a sharp eye.

Hello, dorothy?
It's me-doug.

I just wanted
to tell-

what?

Oh, you saw the program?

Oh, you do?

Yeah, well, so do i.

Listen, darling,
i don't know how you stood me up till now.

Yes, i am.

But now i've got
a chance to show you-

listen, dot,
i know we can make it.

Yeah. L-
well, i...

i can't say any more
right now.

Just-

i love you.

Bye.

To dorothy.

Dorothy.

And one for connie
and the kids.

And the cordon bleu.

No. No more
cordon bleu.

From now on,
it's just going to be

plain "angie and connie's
roadside diner."

Well...

hey, i remember
old bootsie.

The kid from the south

that was always
tripping all over himself?

Sure. His name
was george something-or-other.

Bootsie.
Brown?

No, no.
George barry.

Barry! That's it!

We were always
toasting him.

It was good luck
or something.

Why?

I don't know.
I remember.

When we landed
at anzio on the beachhead,

he fell over
his big feet and fell flat on his face.

We followed him down.
We thought it was orders.

The machine guns
opened up to let us have it,

but we were
down flat.

That's right.
That idiot saved our lives.

Gee.
Old bootsie.

Bootsie.
Bootsie.

Hey,
you remember

corporal
zimmerman?

Corporal zimmerman!

All right, all right!
One more, and that's all.

I got a license
here, remember?

It's closing time.
It's late.

We all got homes
to go to.

Pay up,
and let's go.

Let's see.
That'll be 4 bucks even.

I got it.
I got it.

Hey, hey!

Wait a minute.
The safe!

The safe.
The safe.

There it is.

4 even.

4 bucks.

Tim, that about
wraps it up.

Jackie: Not quite.

There's a little
unfinished business.

I think everything's
going to be all right with you, too, ted.

What do you think,
angie?

Vote for riley.

Tim: Though the time
has come for parting

and the marching
music ends

no matter where
our lives may lead us

in our hearts,
we'll still be friends

though the time
has come for parting

and the future
lies unknown

although the years
may come between us

we will never
feel alone

chorus: For friends
we are now

and friends we'll stay

until we meet again

one wonderful day

let a million miles
divide us

let the years
go rolling by

although the time
has come for parting

we'll be friends
until we die

captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group

captioned by the national
captioning institute -www.ncicap.org-