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1
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Pam. Pamela. Pam-elama-ding-dong.
2
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- Making copies.
- I'm not making any copies.
3
00:00:39,409 --> 00:00:41,900
Let's go. Messages. Stat.
4
00:00:41,945 --> 00:00:44,539
Lots to do, lots to do.
Information superhighway.
5
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- Nothing new.
- Lay them on moi. What?
6
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- There's nothing new.
- That's not what you said earlier.
7
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Do you want me to repeat the messages
that I gave you before for the...
8
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The most sacred thing I do is care
and provide for my workers, my family.
9
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I give them money. I give them food.
10
00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:09,370
Not directly, but through the money.
11
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I heal them.
12
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Today, I am in charge of picking
a great new health care plan.
13
00:01:17,547 --> 00:01:19,947
Right? That's what this is all about.
14
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Does that make me their doctor? Um...
15
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Yes, in a way.
16
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Yeah. Like a specialist.
17
00:01:35,598 --> 00:01:38,123
So, which health plan have you decided on?
18
00:01:38,168 --> 00:01:40,102
I am going to go with the best, Jan.
19
00:01:40,136 --> 00:01:44,038
I am going to go with
the one with the acupuncture,
20
00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:47,099
therapeutic massage, the works.
21
00:01:47,143 --> 00:01:51,409
None of the plans have acupuncture.
Have you looked at them closely?
22
00:01:51,448 --> 00:01:57,148
I think it was you who didn't look
closely enough at the Gold Plan.
23
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The Gold Plan? I'm not even on that plan.
24
00:02:00,256 --> 00:02:02,952
- Well, I'd recommend it. It's very good.
- Michael.
25
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:10,455
- You gotta crack these things open.
- We're doing this to save money.
26
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:14,903
So you just need to pick a provider
and choose the cheapest plan.
27
00:02:16,673 --> 00:02:20,507
Well, that is kind of a tough assignment.
28
00:02:21,644 --> 00:02:26,206
- Um... It won't be popular around the orifice.
- It's your job.
29
00:02:26,249 --> 00:02:29,548
Well, it's a suicide mission, you know.
30
00:02:29,586 --> 00:02:32,953
- Michael... Maybe... I mean...
- There... there...
31
00:02:32,989 --> 00:02:38,393
Sometimes a manager like yourself has
to deliver the bad new to the employees.
32
00:02:38,428 --> 00:02:41,295
- I do it all the time.
- When have you ever done that?
33
00:02:41,331 --> 00:02:44,129
I'm doing it right now. To you.
34
00:02:46,736 --> 00:02:50,001
Last night on Trading Spouses...
Have you seen it?
35
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- No. I have a life.
- Interesting. What's that like?
36
00:02:53,176 --> 00:02:55,610
- You should try it sometime.
- Wow.
37
00:02:55,645 --> 00:02:58,808
But then who would watch my TV? That is...
38
00:02:58,848 --> 00:03:00,713
- Your problem.
- Jimbo!
39
00:03:01,684 --> 00:03:03,709
Ha-ha-ha!
40
00:03:05,421 --> 00:03:10,415
There's a decision that needs to be made,
and I'm having a busy day.
41
00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:15,488
So I'm going to let you pick
a health care plan for our office
42
00:03:15,532 --> 00:03:19,024
and then explain it to your co-workers.
43
00:03:20,436 --> 00:03:22,802
- Gosh.
- Yeah!
44
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:26,104
That is a great offer. Thank you.
45
00:03:27,443 --> 00:03:30,674
I really think I should be
concentrating on sales.
46
00:03:30,713 --> 00:03:32,806
- Really?
- Yeah.
47
00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:36,945
I just don't think this is the kind of task
that I...
48
00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:38,977
am going to do.
49
00:03:39,022 --> 00:03:40,922
You know who would be great for this?
50
00:03:40,957 --> 00:03:45,155
Any time Michael asks me to do anything,
I just tell him that Dwight should do it.
51
00:03:45,194 --> 00:03:48,357
Yes. I can do it. I'm your man.
52
00:03:49,265 --> 00:03:50,960
Right now, this is just a job.
53
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,629
If I advance any higher in this company,
then this would be my career.
54
00:03:54,671 --> 00:04:02,168
And, er... Well, if this were my career,
I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
55
00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:06,875
OK. First, let's go over some parameters.
How many people can I fire?
56
00:04:06,916 --> 00:04:13,048
- None. You're picking a health care plan.
- We'll table that for now.
57
00:04:13,089 --> 00:04:16,217
Two, I'll need an office.
The conference room should be fine.
58
00:04:16,259 --> 00:04:19,319
You can use the conference room
as a temporary workspace.
59
00:04:19,362 --> 00:04:22,593
Yes. I have an office. Bigger than his.
60
00:04:22,632 --> 00:04:25,931
- No, you cannot use it.
- OK, it's a workspace.
61
00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:28,460
Temporary workspace. You can use it.
62
00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:30,529
Thank you.
63
00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:37,006
If Dwight fails, then that is strike two, and good
for me for giving him a second chance.
64
00:04:37,046 --> 00:04:41,346
And if he succeeds,
then no one will be prouder than I am.
65
00:04:41,384 --> 00:04:44,547
I groomed him. I made him what he is today.
66
00:04:46,255 --> 00:04:51,283
(Michael) Unless he fails,
and we've talked about that already.
67
00:04:55,365 --> 00:04:57,925
(Dwight) What did I do? I did my job.
68
00:04:57,967 --> 00:05:01,266
I slashed benefits to the bone.
I saved this company money.
69
00:05:01,304 --> 00:05:06,139
Was I too harsh? Maybe.
I don't believe in coddling people.
70
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:09,576
In the wild, there is no health care.
71
00:05:09,612 --> 00:05:14,242
In the wild, health care is,
"Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run.
72
00:05:14,283 --> 00:05:17,081
"A lion eats me and I'm dead."
73
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,146
Well, I'm not dead.
74
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:24,523
I'm the lion. You're dead.
75
00:05:29,032 --> 00:05:32,968
There's no dental, there's no vision,
there's a $1,200 deductible.
76
00:05:33,002 --> 00:05:34,629
(Phone)
77
00:05:36,506 --> 00:05:40,704
- Dundler Mifflin. This is Pam.
- Pam, Michael Scott. How's tricks?
78
00:05:40,743 --> 00:05:43,735
Where are you?
79
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:46,840
Oh, I am in my office. I am swamped.
80
00:05:46,883 --> 00:05:51,513
I have work up to my ears.
I'm busy, busy, busy. Can't step away.
81
00:05:51,554 --> 00:05:55,422
I just wanted to check in
and see how everybody's doing.
82
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:59,258
- Everybody cool out there?
- Actually, people are really unhappy.
83
00:05:59,295 --> 00:06:02,458
Dwight sent around this memo
and people are freaking out...
84
00:06:02,498 --> 00:06:06,332
(Michael) Pam! Whoa! I'm sorry.
I gotta go. I'm getting a call.
85
00:06:07,403 --> 00:06:09,462
No, you're not.
86
00:06:10,373 --> 00:06:13,638
I have to make a call after I finish... my work.
87
00:06:13,676 --> 00:06:17,578
You know what? Just don't let anybody
in my office under any conditions.
88
00:06:17,613 --> 00:06:21,174
I'm just too busy. Too swamped, you know?
89
00:06:21,217 --> 00:06:25,051
I am unreachable.
I am incommunicado, capisce?
90
00:06:25,088 --> 00:06:28,057
- OK.
- Thank you. Oh, here we go again.
91
00:06:28,091 --> 00:06:31,549
- Gotta go. I have to take this.
- Still no one calling.
92
00:06:36,299 --> 00:06:38,597
- Dwight, what...
- Knock, please.
93
00:06:38,634 --> 00:06:41,626
- Please knock. This is an office.
- It says "workspace".
94
00:06:41,671 --> 00:06:46,074
- Same thing.
- Then why did you write "workspace"?
95
00:06:46,109 --> 00:06:49,806
Just knock. Please?
As a sign of respect for your superior.
96
00:06:49,846 --> 00:06:52,679
- You are not my superior.
- Then why do I have an office?
97
00:06:52,715 --> 00:06:55,878
- I thought it was a workspace.
- OK. Dwight.
98
00:06:55,918 --> 00:06:58,250
Are you really in charge of health care?
99
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:02,314
- Yes. And my decision is final.
- This is a ridiculously awful plan.
100
00:07:02,358 --> 00:07:06,260
- You cut everything.
- Times are tough, Pam. Deal with it.
101
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,354
- Did you cut more than you had to?
- Sure.
102
00:07:08,397 --> 00:07:11,127
Why? You work here.
Don't you want good insurance?
103
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:13,795
Don't need it. Never been sick.
Perfect immune system.
104
00:07:13,836 --> 00:07:17,067
If you've never been sick,
then you don't have any antibodies.
105
00:07:17,106 --> 00:07:20,542
I don't need them.
Superior genes. I'm a Schrute.
106
00:07:20,576 --> 00:07:22,567
And superior brainpower.
107
00:07:22,612 --> 00:07:26,378
Through concentration,
I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
108
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:31,647
- Why would you raise your cholesterol?
- So I can lower it.
109
00:07:32,989 --> 00:07:36,356
He literally won't come out of his office.
110
00:07:36,392 --> 00:07:39,225
He's gotta come out sometime.
111
00:07:40,696 --> 00:07:45,656
- To go to the bathroom!
- Kevin. That's inappropriate.
112
00:07:48,237 --> 00:07:53,607
- Michael, can I talk to you?
- I would love to but I'm busy. Rain check?
113
00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:57,545
Michael. Michael, please.
Can we talk to you about this memo?
114
00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:00,447
What? Which memo?
115
00:08:00,483 --> 00:08:02,178
Dwight's health care memo.
116
00:08:02,218 --> 00:08:04,243
- Is it a good plan?
- It's a great plan.
117
00:08:04,287 --> 00:08:07,279
- It saves the company a fortune.
- It's a pay decrease.
118
00:08:07,323 --> 00:08:09,917
- Michael, he made huge cuts.
- Cuts? What?
119
00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:12,427
- Dwight, did you make cuts?
- Yeah, you said...
120
00:08:12,461 --> 00:08:17,831
No! You know what? I said nothing specific
because I was so busy.
121
00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:23,601
Why don't you go in there and find these
people a plan that will work for them?
122
00:08:23,639 --> 00:08:26,699
- I can handle that.
- OK? All right.
123
00:08:26,742 --> 00:08:29,836
Do we feel good? All right.
124
00:08:29,879 --> 00:08:31,744
Good.
125
00:08:32,949 --> 00:08:36,441
Plus, there's some other good news.
126
00:08:37,653 --> 00:08:39,917
Today, at the end of the day,
127
00:08:39,956 --> 00:08:43,824
I will have, for all of you,
128
00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:45,851
a big surprise.
129
00:08:45,895 --> 00:08:49,922
OK? So hang in there,
and I will see you at the end of the day.
130
00:08:50,867 --> 00:08:53,165
Right?
131
00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:02,541
- This is not good.
- It's ridiculous.
132
00:09:02,578 --> 00:09:05,775
- Did you talk to him?
- What was that?
133
00:09:05,815 --> 00:09:08,648
You let him walk all over you.
It's just pathetic.
134
00:09:08,684 --> 00:09:11,517
- What are you guys talking about?
- Nothing, Kevin.
135
00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:15,285
Do I know what the surprise is?
Hell, no! It doesn't matter.
136
00:09:15,324 --> 00:09:17,349
They're not unhappy anymore.
137
00:09:17,393 --> 00:09:20,760
They're out there thinking,
"Wow, my boss really cares about me.
138
00:09:20,796 --> 00:09:23,697
"He has a surprise. He's cool.
139
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:26,759
"What a great guy. I love him.
140
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:31,338
"I... love him."
141
00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:34,334
OK, everyone. Gather round.
142
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:40,340
Step forward.
143
00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:44,451
I believe that some of you
are unhappy with my plan.
144
00:09:44,487 --> 00:09:46,717
So what I'd like you to do is to fill this out
145
00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:50,021
and write down any diseases you have
that you might want covered
146
00:09:50,059 --> 00:09:51,424
and I'll see what I can do.
147
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:56,056
We can't write our diseases down for you
because that's confidential.
148
00:09:56,098 --> 00:10:00,228
I didn't say to write your name down, did I?
Fill it out, leave it anonymous.
149
00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:04,262
Or don't write any disease down at all
and it won't be covered. Fair? Good.
150
00:10:04,307 --> 00:10:06,741
- I'll be in my office.
- (Jim) Workspace.
151
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:10,404
You know what? Come with me.
152
00:10:10,446 --> 00:10:14,348
We are going on a little mission.
Operation Surprise.
153
00:10:16,018 --> 00:10:20,079
- Where are you going?
- Um... Headed out.
154
00:10:20,122 --> 00:10:22,113
Part of my busy day, you know.
155
00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:24,649
Meetings.
156
00:10:25,628 --> 00:10:27,755
(Giggles) Couldn't find the knob.
157
00:10:30,132 --> 00:10:33,829
So, basically, I want to do something nice
for my employees.
158
00:10:33,869 --> 00:10:36,064
Atlantic City, OK?
159
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:39,939
They have this thing where
they send a bus, right, for free,
160
00:10:39,976 --> 00:10:43,104
picks everybody up,
you head down there, get to the hotel,
161
00:10:43,145 --> 00:10:46,581
the room is comped, they give you
a pile of chips, and your food,
162
00:10:46,615 --> 00:10:51,245
everything just kind of all-inclusive,
free kind of weekend.
163
00:10:51,287 --> 00:10:57,419
I don't know of anything like that, but you might
want to call those casinos directly.
164
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,928
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
165
00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:02,487
I did. So.
166
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:18,138
Wait. What are you writing?
Don't write Ebola or mad cow disease.
167
00:11:18,180 --> 00:11:22,014
Right? Cos I'm suffering from both.
168
00:11:23,586 --> 00:11:26,555
- I'm inventing new diseases.
- Oh, great.
169
00:11:26,589 --> 00:11:30,855
Let's say my teeth turn to liquid
and they drip down the back of my throat.
170
00:11:30,893 --> 00:11:34,385
- What would you call that?
- I thought you were inventing diseases.
171
00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:37,695
That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.
172
00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:39,667
- Nice.
- Thank you.
173
00:11:39,702 --> 00:11:42,899
(Michael)
Calling you ask you a little favoroonie.
174
00:11:42,938 --> 00:11:47,068
Trying to give the troops around here
a little bit of a boost.
175
00:11:47,109 --> 00:11:50,738
I was thinking that maybe
we could take them down
176
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:53,840
to take a spin on your big ride.
177
00:11:53,883 --> 00:11:58,684
You mean the elevator that takes you down
into the mine shaft? It's not really a ride.
178
00:11:58,721 --> 00:12:03,090
It says here that it's a 300ft drop.
179
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,425
It goes 300 feet into the earth
but it moves really slowly.
180
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:13,364
- So it's not a free fall.
- It's an industrial coal elevator.
181
00:12:13,402 --> 00:12:15,199
Uh...
182
00:12:15,237 --> 00:12:19,606
All right. Well, once you get down
into the mine, what...
183
00:12:19,642 --> 00:12:22,167
Have you got Laser Tag or something?
184
00:12:22,211 --> 00:12:25,772
OK, so I don't know what the surprise is.
Am I worried? No.
185
00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:28,215
No way. See, I thrive on this.
186
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:31,708
This is my world. This is improv.
This is Whose Line Is It Anyway?
187
00:12:32,254 --> 00:12:33,619
(Dwight shouts)
188
00:12:34,957 --> 00:12:36,515
(Shouts)
189
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:42,454
Who did this? I'm not mad. I just want to know
who did it so I can punish them.
190
00:12:42,498 --> 00:12:46,901
- What are you talking about?
- Someone forged medical information.
191
00:12:46,936 --> 00:12:51,236
- That is a felony.
- Whoa. That's a pretty intense accusation.
192
00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:54,800
- How do you know that they're fake?
- Uh, leprosy?
193
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:58,579
"Flesh-eating bacteria.
194
00:12:59,815 --> 00:13:02,648
"Hot-dog fingers.
195
00:13:02,685 --> 00:13:08,282
"Government-created
killer nanorobot infection."
196
00:13:08,324 --> 00:13:10,292
- You did this, didn't you?
- No.
197
00:13:10,326 --> 00:13:14,023
I know it was you. Fine.
I'll have to interview each and every one of you
198
00:13:14,063 --> 00:13:17,032
until the perpetrator
makes him or herself known.
199
00:13:17,066 --> 00:13:21,002
And until that time, there will be no
health care coverage for anyone.
200
00:13:24,807 --> 00:13:27,799
- Killer nanorobots?
- It's an epidemic.
201
00:13:30,346 --> 00:13:35,909
The problem, Jim, is that people who are
really suffering from a medical condition
202
00:13:35,951 --> 00:13:37,942
won't receive the care they need,
203
00:13:37,987 --> 00:13:42,651
because someone in this office
is coming up with all this ridiculous stuff.
204
00:13:44,193 --> 00:13:47,754
- "Count Choculitis."
- (Whistles) Sounds tough.
205
00:13:47,796 --> 00:13:51,630
Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it
because you know I love Count Chocula?
206
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:55,967
- Do you?
- I think you need to confess the fact...
207
00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:59,941
- Yeah.
- What are you doing? Those are my keys.
208
00:13:59,975 --> 00:14:02,341
- Good luck.
- Jim! Damn it!
209
00:14:02,378 --> 00:14:04,642
- No! Jim! Let me out!
- (Banging)
210
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,444
Jim! Let...
211
00:14:07,483 --> 00:14:09,383
The light green...
212
00:14:10,052 --> 00:14:11,952
(Phone)
213
00:14:15,491 --> 00:14:17,049
- Jim Halpert.
- Let me out.
214
00:14:17,092 --> 00:14:19,083
- Who is this?
- You're fired.
215
00:14:19,128 --> 00:14:22,427
- You can't fire me.
- I can. I'm manager for the day.
216
00:14:22,464 --> 00:14:26,230
- Clean out your desk.
- Can you hold on? I'm getting the, er... beep.
217
00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:30,795
- Jim Halpert.
- Hey, Jim. It's Pam.
218
00:14:30,839 --> 00:14:33,501
Hey, Pam. How are you?
219
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:36,033
- Good. How are you?
- I'm doing OK.
220
00:14:36,078 --> 00:14:38,740
Getting excited for the weekend.
What are you up to?
221
00:14:38,781 --> 00:14:40,908
- I'm not bothering you, am I?
- Not at all.
222
00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:43,578
- You're not doing anything?
- I have nothing to do.
223
00:14:43,619 --> 00:14:44,711
Jim!
224
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:48,018
(Pam) This weekend? Nothing.
I'm not really doing anything.
225
00:14:48,057 --> 00:14:50,617
I might go to the mall. I need new shoes.
226
00:14:50,659 --> 00:14:52,889
Oh, interesting. What kind of shoes?
227
00:14:52,928 --> 00:14:53,917
(Ringing tone)
228
00:14:53,963 --> 00:14:55,726
- Hello?
- Hello.
229
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:58,961
This is Dwight Schrute
calling for Jan Levenson-Gould.
230
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:01,595
- This is Jan.
- Hi.
231
00:15:01,637 --> 00:15:04,629
Dwight Schrute,
Acting Manager, Scranton branch.
232
00:15:04,673 --> 00:15:07,665
I needed your permission to fire Jim Halpert.
233
00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:10,907
- Who is this?
- Dwight Schrute.
234
00:15:10,946 --> 00:15:13,710
From sales? Where's Michael Scott?
235
00:15:13,749 --> 00:15:17,981
He is not here right now.
He put me in charge of the office.
236
00:15:19,488 --> 00:15:23,185
Dwight, listen carefully.
You are not a manager of anything.
237
00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:27,025
- Understand?
- That's not entirely true.
238
00:15:27,062 --> 00:15:30,293
He put me in charge
of picking the health care plan.
239
00:15:30,332 --> 00:15:34,860
Really? OK. When Michael gets back,
tell him to call me immediately.
240
00:15:34,903 --> 00:15:37,371
Call you immediately. Good. Oh, listen.
241
00:15:37,406 --> 00:15:41,604
Since I have you on the phone,
can I fire Jim?
242
00:15:41,644 --> 00:15:45,102
No.
Please don't use my cellphone ever again.
243
00:15:45,147 --> 00:15:47,138
Oh, I thought this was your...
244
00:15:47,182 --> 00:15:48,774
(Dialing tone)
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00:15:53,389 --> 00:15:59,225
Hey, everybody.
Ice-cream sandwiches! Aaahh! (Laughs)
246
00:15:59,261 --> 00:16:03,254
Here you go. Take one, take one.
It's all good. Phyllis, think fast. Ya-bome!
247
00:16:03,299 --> 00:16:06,063
Oh, I see Angela. Angela? Waaaahhh!
248
00:16:06,869 --> 00:16:10,635
Hey, temp. Why don't you take two?
249
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:14,609
Because you don't get health care.
And faster metabolism.
250
00:16:14,643 --> 00:16:17,043
Did you get the kind with the cookies?
251
00:16:17,079 --> 00:16:19,274
Why don't you just eat it, OK?
252
00:16:19,315 --> 00:16:23,945
- And here you go, Stanley the manly.
- Oh, thanks.
253
00:16:23,986 --> 00:16:28,685
This isn't the big surprise, is it? Because
we've been having a pretty horrible day.
254
00:16:28,724 --> 00:16:32,023
Er... Nope. Nope. This isn't the surprise.
255
00:16:32,061 --> 00:16:35,758
It's surprising, um...
because you didn't expect it.
256
00:16:35,798 --> 00:16:39,199
But you will... You'll know it when you see it.
257
00:16:40,469 --> 00:16:42,369
Michael. Michael?
258
00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:44,268
Oh, Christ.
259
00:16:55,017 --> 00:16:58,316
I tried being rational, OK,
and what happened?
260
00:16:58,354 --> 00:17:01,255
The employees went crazy.
I got no help from Corporate.
261
00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:03,155
That leaves me with no options.
262
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:05,717
I'm going to read your submitted conditions.
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00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:09,253
When you hear yours,
raise your hand to indicate that it is real.
264
00:17:09,298 --> 00:17:12,461
If you do not raise your hand,
it will not be covered.
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00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:16,938
- What about confidentiality?
- You have forfeited that privilege.
266
00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:22,376
I have tried to treat you all as adults
but obviously I am the only adult here.
267
00:17:22,411 --> 00:17:24,538
Number one. Inverted penis.
268
00:17:30,652 --> 00:17:35,817
Could you mean vagina?
Because if you do, I want that covered.
269
00:17:35,858 --> 00:17:38,622
Your vagina was removed
during your hysterectomy.
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00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:41,493
A uterus is different from a vagina.
271
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:43,521
I still have a vagina.
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00:17:57,613 --> 00:18:03,381
OK. Great. Dermatitis. Thank you, Angela.
I'll make sure that's covered.
273
00:18:03,419 --> 00:18:07,913
OK. Now. Who wrote this... hysterical one?
274
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:10,550
- Anal fissures?
- That's a real thing.
275
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:12,719
(Dwight) Yeah, but no one here has it.
276
00:18:15,264 --> 00:18:17,858
Someone has it.
277
00:18:29,244 --> 00:18:33,271
- Do you think we should go?
- I don't know. This is important.
278
00:18:33,315 --> 00:18:36,045
- What is he doing?
- I don't know.
279
00:18:44,526 --> 00:18:46,118
(Sighs)
280
00:18:46,161 --> 00:18:47,685
Well?
281
00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:51,392
Well, what?
You could be referring to anything.
282
00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:53,731
OK. The health care plan.
283
00:18:53,769 --> 00:18:56,397
Why did you put Dwight in charge?
He was horrible.
284
00:18:56,438 --> 00:18:59,999
Dwight? Did you raise benefits?
285
00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:03,102
- I most certainly did not.
- Oh, come on. That's horrible.
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00:19:03,145 --> 00:19:05,306
Aah...
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00:19:05,347 --> 00:19:10,512
Thanks, Dwight, for a crappy plan. Ah, damn!
288
00:19:10,552 --> 00:19:12,315
Oh...
289
00:19:12,354 --> 00:19:16,347
I wish I had time to change it
but Jan needs it by five.
290
00:19:16,391 --> 00:19:19,417
What time is it? It's after five.
291
00:19:19,461 --> 00:19:21,395
Oh...
292
00:19:21,430 --> 00:19:23,728
Oh, it's awful!
293
00:19:23,765 --> 00:19:26,359
So. Well. OK.
294
00:19:26,401 --> 00:19:28,460
See you guys on Monday.
295
00:19:29,671 --> 00:19:32,037
What about the surprise?
296
00:19:32,074 --> 00:19:38,013
Oh... Yes. Exactly.
Thank you, Angela, for reminding me.
297
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:42,278
Terrific. Before I tell everybody
what the big surprise is,
298
00:19:42,317 --> 00:19:47,380
would you like to tell me
what you think the big surprise is?
299
00:19:47,422 --> 00:19:51,483
- We all think you don't have a surprise.
- I have some news for you.
300
00:19:51,527 --> 00:19:53,154
There is a big surprise.
301
00:19:54,429 --> 00:19:57,455
And... here it is. Here we go.
302
00:19:57,499 --> 00:20:02,232
And the big surprise is...
303
00:20:02,271 --> 00:20:05,798
Brrrrrrrr! Drum roll...
304
00:20:05,841 --> 00:20:09,140
Brrrrrrrr! Brrrrrrrr!
305
00:20:25,961 --> 00:20:30,193
When I am backed into a corner,
that is when I come alive.
306
00:20:30,232 --> 00:20:36,432
See, I learned improv from the greats,
like Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles.
307
00:20:36,471 --> 00:20:39,702
God, yeah... Ah!
308
00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:42,608
This...
309
00:20:49,051 --> 00:20:53,579
Robin Williams. Man, would I love
to go head-to-head with him. Oh!
310
00:20:53,622 --> 00:20:56,318
That would be exciting.
"Hi. I'm Mork from Ork."
311
00:20:56,358 --> 00:21:02,058
Well, I'm Bork from Spork.
Nanoo, nanoo. Jibelee, baloobaloo.
312
00:21:27,656 --> 00:21:29,749
Oh, um...
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00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:31,884
Jan wants you to call her.
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