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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:06,139
( Holly plays Happy Birthday )
2
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:08,609
- Recognize that tune?
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,144
You've probably sung it
a million times,
4
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,479
but do you have any idea
who wrote it?
5
00:00:13,479 --> 00:00:15,616
So if the person who penned
6
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,784
the most popular song
in the English language
7
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,053
can't be remembered
for their accomplishment,
8
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,155
what chance
do the rest of us have?
9
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,157
I know I did not act
in the manner
10
00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:27,160
befitting a Hobbie,
unless you're Grandma,
11
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,329
who suggested
I withold the truth.
12
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:32,365
Or Robbie, who witheld the truth
in the first place.
13
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,537
Sorry,
what was the question again?
14
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,639
- Why did it take you so long
to tell us that Robbie
15
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,807
was responsible
for the destruction
16
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,810
of Mr. Dodge's cucumber?
- Take your time, Holly-kins.
17
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:48,014
- Because every word
will be used against you.
18
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,784
- I plead the fifth.
19
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:54,187
What about the fourth?
- Sure. If you can name it.
20
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:57,658
- Fine.
I just didn't want
21
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,660
my big brother
to get into loads of trouble.
22
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,863
But that's not exactly
a crime, is it?
23
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,866
- No! The real crime is Holly
outed me in the first place!
24
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,301
- So you don't think you deserve
to be in loads of trouble?
25
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,170
- It was an accident!
No harm was done!
26
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:13,006
- Except to the cucumber.
- Which was a dumb vegetable.
27
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,742
- Actually, it's a fruit.
It has seeds.
28
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,545
- And Mr. Dodge,
29
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,847
he spent years trying to grow
one for the record books.
30
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,383
- OK. My point is
it was the bull that did it,
31
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,485
not me, so if anything
the bull should be in trouble,
32
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:27,854
or my buddies
for suggesting we do
33
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:31,224
the stupid viral challenge,
or society for creating
social media,
34
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:33,226
which forces teens
to do outrageous things
35
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:36,563
for positive feedback.
- So just to be clear,
36
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:40,066
you're blaming society?
- Or the bull.
37
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,402
- And was it the bull's idea
to blame Tyler for a crime
38
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:45,539
he didn't commit?
- He didn't speak up, did he?
39
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,808
- So you don't think
you owe Tyler an apology?
40
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,243
- For copping to a crime
he didn't commit
41
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:52,713
and totally complicating
my life? No!
42
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,881
If anything,
Tyler owes me an apology.
43
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,250
Thanks to him,
I'm in hot water with you guys
44
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,720
and Robbie hates my guts.
- Well...
45
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,624
I think we have
all the information we need.
46
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:09,262
(soft music)
47
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:12,198
- Someone is trying
to learn
48
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,435
about the Roman Empire.
- Hey, traitor!
49
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,871
Any word
from the parental units?
50
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,406
- No. What about you,
ruiner of cucumbers?
51
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:23,309
- No. This is literal torture.
52
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,411
- No. Literal torture is
what happened to Valerian.
53
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,615
He was forced
to drink molten gold.
- If you hadn't outed me,
54
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,751
we would be in trouble.
- Maybe they've decided
55
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,919
we've already paid the price
for our actions.
56
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,756
- It happened after
he let his guard down
and showed up to negotiate
57
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,859
a peace treaty with his enemy.
- Hi, kids!
58
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,430
That's for you.
- And you. Go ahead. Open them.
59
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,636
- A hammer?
- And nails?
60
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,706
- I'm sure you have
nothing to worry about.
61
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,709
(tearing)
62
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,945
- As punishment
for your crimes,
63
00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:01,481
we've volunteered
your handyman services
64
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,684
to help Old Man Dodge
at his farm.
65
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,319
Tomorrow.
- No. Absolutely not.
66
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,488
We're playing
Merrickville tomorrow.
67
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,456
- After, Robbie's going to drive
everyone to the Open Mic
68
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,794
so it can be the biggest ever!
- The town hates me because
of the cucumber.
69
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,029
Winning this game is the only
way to turn them around.
70
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,064
- But then, all you'd learn is
that if you're good at football,
71
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:20,801
you can get away with anything.
- Yeah. A valuable lesson!
72
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,936
- Please!
Literally any other day.
73
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,338
- We chose tomorrow
for a reason.
74
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:27,608
The cucumber was important
to Mr. Dodge,
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00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,677
something neither of you
appreciate.
76
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,346
So i stands to reason,
you lose out
77
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:36,182
on something important, too.
- Well said.
78
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,719
- Thank you.
- OK!
79
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,357
- But I was working
on a new set!
80
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:48,529
- Eye for an eye.
Your mom's gone biblical.
81
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,297
- Actually,
that concept is Babylonian.
82
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:54,801
I know things!
83
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,973
- Wherever it's from,
it's unfair. Not just to me,
84
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,375
but to all the talented people
who signed up.
85
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,545
I'm trying to create
a safe place
86
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,713
where people
can express themselves.
87
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,849
But this week, all I'm building
is a heaping pile
88
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,017
of disappointment.
- Breathe.
89
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,754
- What if I take the reigns
of the Open Mic this week?
90
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,722
- You?
91
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,858
Oh, I couldn't ask you
to do that.
92
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,493
It's a lot of work.
- I could help too.
93
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,929
I don't have
cheerleading practice tomorrow.
94
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,265
- Great! That's...
95
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,334
so great.
You two...
96
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,070
working on
my Open Mic.
97
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,072
Together.
- Yay!
98
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,541
I'm so glad you agreed!
- Yay!
99
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:42,583
- ♪♪♪♪ You and me run
to a different beat ♪♪
100
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:45,886
♪♪ We are brave, lead the way
Lead the way ♪♪
101
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:49,890
♪♪ Be the you inside
And watch the world take fly ♪♪
102
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:53,093
♪♪ You're brave, lead the way
Lead the way ♪♪
103
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:57,263
♪♪ Be the change ♪♪
104
00:04:57,263 --> 00:05:00,601
♪♪ Be the change ♪♪
105
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:05,471
♪♪ Gotta be the change ♪♪♪♪
106
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,382
- Now, those don't look
like working hands.
107
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,552
- Don't worry. Whatever
you've got, we can handle it.
108
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:22,088
- You're building
a chicken coop.
109
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,226
- That's a lot of lumber
for a chicken coop.
110
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,428
- Here are the plans.
111
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,498
And I want screws,
not finishing nails.
112
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,568
You know how to use these?
- Yes, sir.
113
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,937
- Good. Because I expect
90 degree angles.
114
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,739
You got phones on you?
- No. Our parents took them.
115
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,775
- Good. Because I want you
focused on work, not friends.
116
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,878
- This is cruel
and unusual punishment.
117
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,080
- Well, when you get
your phone back,
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00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,415
you can call child services.
119
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:52,252
- This is going
to take forever.
120
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,755
- Then we better get started!
121
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,893
- Six miles in under a hour.
122
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:03,396
What an amazing way
to kick off the day.
123
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,266
Can I help you find something?
- Nope.
124
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,434
I'm good. I am ...
125
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:11,538
just looking for...
the sewing kit.
126
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,107
- Uh-uh! I knew it.
Turn around.
127
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:17,578
Drop your sweatshirt.
128
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,580
You split your pants!
129
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,916
We... are going shopping.
- Not necessary.
130
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,085
I'll just stitch it up
once I find the sewing kit.
131
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:28,722
- There's not enough fabric.
- Then I'll wear something else.
132
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,092
- Everything you own
is too short or too tight.
- Then I'll leave as is.
133
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,861
Some morons pay hundreds
for ripped jeans.
134
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,930
- Get ready.
We're leaving in ten minutes.
135
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:40,100
- You don't have to do this.
Come on! You know how this goes.
136
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,203
You pick something I hate,
I pick something you hate,
137
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,606
then boom! World War Three.
Kim Jong Un didn't even have
138
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,941
to launch a nuke.
- So you're saying
139
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,544
that the worst day you could
imagine is shopping with me?
140
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,779
- It's going to take
the whole day?
141
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,348
- Oh! I can make it two.
142
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,151
- So much for world peace.
143
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,060
- What if Piper and Amy forget
to light the candles?
144
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,130
- Then there will be no candles.
- Which means the ambience
will be off.
145
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,132
It will be too dark
and people won't be able to see
146
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,535
or too bright
and it'll be awkward.
147
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,837
- This is not a tragedy.
A tragedy would be
148
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,973
if they couldn't find
the fire extinguisher.
- Why would they need
149
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,142
a fire extinguisher?
- In case they find the candles,
150
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,645
accidentally knock one over,
the entire place catches on fire
151
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,847
and everybody dies
a horrible death and blames you.
152
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:30,016
- Me? But I'm not even there!
- Exactly. If you had been,
153
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,653
none of this would've happened.
- That would definitely
154
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,821
make this
the worst Open Mic ever.
155
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,891
Not to mention the last.
- That's a tragedy.
156
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:44,865
- You look parched.
Let me get you some water.
157
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,170
- Would you like
a couple scoops of rum raisin
158
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,472
with that, Missy?
- That'd be great!
159
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,475
Or not. Never mind.
160
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,545
But while I'm here, do you mind
if I make a quick call?
161
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,681
- Phone's over there.
- Thanks.
162
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,049
I've got a life
or death situation on my hands.
163
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,387
How do you use this?
164
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,355
- What's the number?
165
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,559
- Oh! I forgot
my best friend's phone number.
166
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,695
Does it ever happen to you?
167
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,197
- My best friend's been dead
for ten years.
168
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:21,167
- Oh! Uh...
I am sorry for your loss.
169
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,204
(clears throat)
170
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:28,074
You don't happen to have
a computer, do you?
171
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,243
(laughs)
172
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:48,028
These are great. Who did them?
- What's it to you?
173
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:55,135
- Hello?
174
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,238
- [The fire extinguisher's
by the door.]
- I know.
175
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,307
Where are you calling from?
- [1995.]
176
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:04,044
I just wanted to check in.
- [And make sure]
177
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,079
[I was up to date
on my fire safety protocol?]
178
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,249
- Have you calculated?
I don't think we have
enough food.
179
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:12,485
- [Why isn't there enough food?]
[Did you eat it all?]
- Don't worry,
180
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,755
everything's fine.
- Hey, Holly.
181
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:18,324
[You didn't tell her, did you?]
- Tell me what?
182
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:21,461
- [Nothing. Gotta go.]
- Amy Abbasi,
183
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,164
I've known you since the cradle.
I know every embarrassing thing
184
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,432
that has ever happened to you
and I will reveal them all
185
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,935
at the most inopportune moment
if you do not spill your guts
186
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,104
this second.
- [Piper got]
187
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,708
[the Radical Llamas.]
- THE Radical Llamas?
188
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:38,111
They only play in Bureau County.
How did you get them to come
to Collinsville?
189
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,581
- [Xylophone Zack.]
- [You know, the weird kid]
190
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,116
[who makes Youtube videos of
himself playing the xylophone.]
191
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,285
- [Christine Shaw's brother.
And Ryder, the drummer]
192
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,554
[from the Radical Llamas,
has a crush on Christine.]
193
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,790
- So you think
she'll bring Ryder?
194
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,793
- [Of course not!
But she's posted online]
195
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,761
[she's going and now
he's begging to perform]
196
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,964
[so he can show off
his guitar skills.]
- [And we think with them,]
197
00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,133
[plus the post-football
game crowd, we'll have...]
198
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,636
[74 people, with a variance
of plus or minus 3.]
199
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,138
- I'm glad I checked in.
200
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,908
You're gonna need more food.
- [Right.]
201
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:11,011
[We should get back at it.]
- [Bye, Holls.]
202
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:13,479
- Huh.
203
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:17,183
So that's what qualifies as life
and death for kids these days.
204
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:23,123
- So is everything falling apart
without you?
- Worse.
205
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,158
It's going to be
the best Open Mic ever
206
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,327
and do you know
who's responsible for that?
207
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,696
Not me, the one
who started it all. Piper.
208
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,565
Because she got
Xylophone Zack.
209
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:34,735
- That weird kid who makes
the Youtube videos?
210
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,003
- How are you
so okay with this?
211
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,840
You're missing a huge game
and without you,
212
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,208
your team will lose
and everyone will blame you.
213
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,344
And then your legacy
in this town won't be
214
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,180
star quarterback,
it will be... Cucumber Murderer.
215
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,349
- Hey, the bull
did the murdering.
216
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,018
Robbie was just along
for the ride.
217
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,855
- Uh... Robbie,
why are your buddies here?
218
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,190
- To take me to the game.
- But we have
219
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,459
to finish the coop.
- And we will,
220
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,528
quickly, with their help,
then split to get
221
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,031
to our respective obligations.
- This was your plan all along?
222
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,100
Why didn't you tell me?
223
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,870
- Well... You can't
keep a secret.
224
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,873
- (laughing): Burn!
225
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:16,276
- So are you in or out?
226
00:11:18,579 --> 00:11:21,381
- Mom and Dad are already mad.
227
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,250
It's not like
they could get madder.
228
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,887
Right?
229
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,170
- You done with the ramp yet?
- Just give me 10 more minutes.
230
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,372
- You better hurry.
The base is done.
231
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,274
- That was quick.
232
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:51,011
Should you have
all those pieces left over?
233
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,213
- Couldn't find
a place for them.
234
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,016
- Did you read
the instructions?
235
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,384
- Don't worry. It's like Lego.
There's always pieces left over.
236
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,854
- I don't know. Maybe we should
ask Farmer Dodge.
237
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,156
- Holls, we are
on a deadline here.
238
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,692
- What if it's important
to the integrity of the coop?
239
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:07,861
- It's for chickens,
not royalty.
240
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:11,164
Now hurry up
and finish that ramp.
241
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,202
- Oh! Uh...
Hello, Mr. Dodge.
242
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,204
- I see
you brought reinforcements.
243
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,708
Bet you all have an appetite.
I've set out some lunch
244
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,511
for you inside.
- That's so kind of you!
245
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,680
- But we've got a real rhythm
going on and we don't want
246
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,049
to mess with it. Sorry, sir.
You understand, right?
247
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,351
- Yup. It's clear as a whistle
248
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:35,822
You're a bunch of hard workers.
Bet your parents are real proud.
249
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:39,092
- They will be
once we finish this coop.
250
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:48,201
- What about
this fetching garment?
251
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:51,505
- Oh! Oh, I love that.
- It's a skirt.
252
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:54,240
- Actually, it's a skort.
- Even worse.
253
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,078
Now this is something
I could get behind.
254
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,547
Hmm?
- "““Sarcasm. A natural defense
255
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,383
against stupid."””
- Functional and educational.
256
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:07,253
- Well, is there any chance
you'd consider something
without a punchline?
257
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,090
- What about this?
This seems to be more in line
258
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,358
with your essence.
- A dog eating a hot-dog?
259
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,295
Spectacular.
Any more like that?
260
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,931
(sights)
261
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,567
- Would you like
some chamomile tea?
262
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:25,171
It's very calming.
- We can just pay for those.
263
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,474
- So there's nothing
that I picked out that you like?
264
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,511
Not even a bit?
265
00:13:30,511 --> 00:13:34,781
- The cherry shirt
wasn't the worst.
266
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,417
- You like it?
- Sure.
267
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:41,421
- Then what about...
What about this blue cardigan?
268
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,590
I mean, they look
so cute together.
269
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:46,126
- If you say so...
- Great! OK. You go inside
270
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,328
and try everything on
to make sure they fit properly.
271
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,764
And this.
272
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:53,133
And this. And... this.
Just for fun.
273
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:56,603
And I... I will take that tea.
274
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,972
- Make that two.
275
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,513
- Uh...
276
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,315
Is it supposed to sag like that?
- Whatever.
277
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,652
If we don't leave now,
we're going to be late.
278
00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:14,320
Holls, let's go.
279
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,490
- It doesn't look
structurally sound.
280
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,626
I don't want to be responsible
for the coop killing a bunch
281
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,996
of innocent chickens!
We have to fix it.
282
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:27,467
- Fine. Go ahead.
- By myself?
283
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,837
- Whatever. It's your fault
we're here in the first place.
284
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,139
- I knew you were
still mad at me!
285
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,175
- Mom and Dad
would've never found out
286
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,944
if you hadn't said something.
- What were my options?
287
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,180
Let Tyler Flaherty
take the blame?
288
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,248
- His mom's the mayor.
He would've been fine.
289
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,551
Besides, if it wasn't this
that got him branded,
290
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:49,022
it'd be something else.
The kid's a delinquent.
- Takes one to know one.
291
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:51,491
- Ouh!
- Tyler's not a delinquent.
292
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:55,028
He's... a really nice guy
who's just misunderstood.
293
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,363
- Ouh!
- Shush, you.
294
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,533
- Robbie,
we're going to be late.
295
00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,835
- Mom and Dad
are going to be furious!
296
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:04,204
- They'll forgive me eventually.
But if the team loses the
297
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,573
because I'm not there,
the town won't.
298
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,474
- You, Robbie Hobbie,
299
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:11,377
are not a nice guy!
I hope you break your leg
300
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,714
in that stupid game of yours!
301
00:15:13,714 --> 00:15:16,917
(sights)
302
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,224
(grunting)
303
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:27,127
(frustrated scream)
304
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,395
- Need a hand?
305
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:32,866
Where's that brother of yours?
- He ditched me
306
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,702
and now he's going to win
and be feted town hero.
307
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:39,072
Everyone's going to adore him
and I'm stuck here.
308
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,374
It's just not fair.
309
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,710
- Life isn't fair.
Never has been.
310
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:47,548
- Yeah, but everyone gets
their just desserts, right?
311
00:15:47,548 --> 00:15:49,716
- Or they get
a college scholarship,
312
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,119
go on to the NFL, makes loads
of money and marry a model.
313
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,722
- But they're not happy.
- Ha! Ha! Ha!
314
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,559
Sounds like a sweet life to me.
Better than spending
315
00:15:58,559 --> 00:16:01,562
your golden years growing
the largest cucumber on record
316
00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:04,598
to have it destroyed
by a bunch of careless kids.
317
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,936
- I'm really sorry, sir.
- Well, this ain't no gulag.
318
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,439
You want to go, go.
- Really?
319
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,942
- You're not doing any favors
by sticking around
320
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,311
and doing a crappy job.
(laughs)
321
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:25,451
- Thank you. We're home!
322
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,588
Ha! Ha! Ha!
- I hope you robbed a
323
00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:29,923
while you were at it.
- We spent the whole morning
324
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:32,793
shopping on Main Street.
Tell Dad how much fun we had.
325
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:35,495
- So much fun.
326
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,463
I have homework.
- OK. Hang on! Just one second.
327
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,465
Doesn't Heather look so stunning
in her new duds?
328
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:43,804
- Like a whole new girl.
- Take this upstairs.
329
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:47,541
- No.
330
00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:50,511
- Ha! Ha! Ha!
Very funny. Here.
331
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,547
- You heard what I said.
- Take the bags up for your mom.
332
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:56,449
- She can take them up herself!
- Oh, so I go
333
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,719
and I buy all these new clothes
for you and you're acting
334
00:16:58,719 --> 00:17:02,322
like a spoiled little brat?
- I hate these clothes
335
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,324
and if you want
a kid who doesn't,
336
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,560
maybe you should find yourself
a whole new daughter!
337
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,577
- I've been thinking.
338
00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:25,746
You did grow
the biggest cucumber
339
00:17:25,746 --> 00:17:28,114
even if you don't have
a certificate to prove it.
340
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,250
- It's... better.
I mean, it's not perfect,
341
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,219
but it's definitely better.
- It's incredible.
342
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,055
Where'd you get
the plans for it?
343
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:39,259
- Just something I dreamt up.
- Those prints in your study...
344
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,428
Those are yours?
- I always wanted
345
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,598
to be an architect,
but things didn't go
346
00:17:44,598 --> 00:17:47,467
according to plan.
- You're not dead yet.
347
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,437
Sorry.
348
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:54,007
That was an inside thought.
That escaped.
349
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:56,977
- My wife would have liked you.
350
00:17:56,977 --> 00:17:59,145
She died last year.
351
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:02,282
We never did have kids,
so I guess when I go,
352
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,484
there won't be anyone left
to remember me.
353
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,788
- I will. You taught me how
to master a tight miter joint.
354
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:10,156
And to be honest,
that's way more useful
355
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,158
than a giant cucumber.
- Well,
356
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,227
I guess that's something,
isn't it?
357
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,462
And sweetheart,
you're no master.
358
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,865
- Well, then I guess I'll have
to come back for lessons.
359
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,767
- I'd like that.
360
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,904
Actually, I think you can
still make your Open Mic.
361
00:18:23,904 --> 00:18:26,640
- Actually...
362
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,209
There's another mess
I have to clean up first.
363
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:36,850
(knocking)
- Heather! Honey!
364
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:41,655
Forcing you to wear clothes
that make you uncomfortable
365
00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:45,491
isn't fair.
But those clothes,
366
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:50,664
they were about me, not you.
- And how you wish
367
00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:53,266
I was more like you.
- Exactly.
368
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,736
But...
369
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:58,204
not in the way
you think, though. OK?
370
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:01,041
Look, I... I mean, I...
371
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,510
I suck at baseball and building
things
372
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,613
and that card game
you always play.
- Which one?
373
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,849
- Well, all of them. And...
374
00:19:08,849 --> 00:19:12,285
sometimes I worry that...
we have nothing in common.
375
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,220
- So you bought me
clothes I hate?
376
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,356
- No, I didn't want you
to hate them.
377
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,525
I wanted you to love them
and then I wanted you to...
378
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,762
love me more
for finding them.
379
00:19:21,762 --> 00:19:24,364
- Why do you care
what I wear?
380
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,900
- It's a very good question.
381
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:28,869
Well...
382
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:31,237
I guess I'm one
of the only women in town
383
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,707
with a big job.
And your father,
384
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:36,042
he does all the heavy lifting
at home and some people,
385
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:39,445
especially ones with ovaries,
they judge me for that.
386
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:42,082
So when one of you
gets in trouble
387
00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:44,417
or walks around
in ripped jeans,
388
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,588
I know that people, they talk.
Not about you,
389
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:49,723
but about me
390
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:53,259
and how I'm failing you.
- So which is it?
391
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,562
You care what other people think
or what I think?
392
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,131
- Both?
393
00:19:58,131 --> 00:20:01,167
I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
394
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:05,005
- Yeah, me too.
(both laugh)
395
00:20:05,005 --> 00:20:08,408
(panting)
396
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,512
- What is it?
- Robbie.
397
00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:18,018
- Hey! Your Mom said
I'd find you here.
398
00:20:18,018 --> 00:20:21,087
- So does another crime
need a scapegoat?
399
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,123
- Yes.
400
00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:25,959
A murder.
401
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:29,262
(laughing): You play smart,
but you're very gullible.
402
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,432
- So you came here to insult me.
- No...
403
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,001
I came to apologize.
404
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,303
And I was wrong to believe
that you were responsible
405
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,439
for the cucumber.
So I am willing
406
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,775
to grant you one favor.
- Like what?
407
00:20:41,775 --> 00:20:44,945
- I could clean your room.
- We have a maid.
408
00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:48,081
- I could cook a meal.
- We have a chef.
409
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:51,451
- Can we just be friends again?
410
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:55,155
- Were we...
friends before?
411
00:20:55,155 --> 00:20:57,457
- A long time ago,
412
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,793
before you told everyone
I peed my pants.
413
00:20:59,793 --> 00:21:02,262
And then sort of again
before you took off
414
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,965
and didn't tell anyone
where you were. Yeah, actually,
415
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:07,634
I'm starting to believe
that you owe me an apology.
416
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:12,305
Why did you say you destroyed
the cucumber when you didn't?
417
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,975
- When everyone thinks
the worst of you,
418
00:21:14,975 --> 00:21:17,678
it's better to just
let them believe it.
419
00:21:17,678 --> 00:21:21,915
- I don't think
the worst of you.
420
00:21:24,918 --> 00:21:28,955
(people laughing)
421
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,991
(xylophone music)
I built that
422
00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:34,661
Isn't it cool?
- It'd be cooler
if we were inside.
423
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:38,398
- I can make that happen.
424
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,601
(xylophone melody)
425
00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:43,369
- Holly!
What are you doing here?
426
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:45,572
Why aren't you
at the hospital?
427
00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:57,217
- Oh, my goodness!
Are you okay?
428
00:21:57,217 --> 00:21:59,953
- I tore my ACL.
429
00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:03,524
I was desperate to prove myself
and I was willing
430
00:22:03,524 --> 00:22:06,527
to do anything to do it.
- Including trying to
431
00:22:06,527 --> 00:22:08,995
through a 250 pound linebacker.
432
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,864
He needs surgery
433
00:22:10,864 --> 00:22:13,266
and football might be done
for a while.
434
00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:16,637
- This is all my fault.
435
00:22:16,637 --> 00:22:19,405
I wished for you
to break your leg.
436
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:22,042
- Cool. Then I'd like
a million dollars.
437
00:22:22,042 --> 00:22:25,546
If you're magic now. Or at least
a sweet TV for my room.
438
00:22:25,546 --> 00:22:28,882
(scoffs)
Look...
439
00:22:28,882 --> 00:22:32,452
Holls, this is my fault.
I'm the one thing in life
440
00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:35,956
I can control. And this is
how I'll be remembered.
441
00:22:35,956 --> 00:22:38,424
- Robbie, life is long.
442
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:40,360
I'm sure, given enough time,
443
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,896
you'll be remembered for doing
something even dumber.
444
00:22:42,896 --> 00:22:46,499
(laughter)
445
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:49,936
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Kids!
446
00:22:49,936 --> 00:22:52,472
- Maybe it doesn't matter
how we're remembered.
447
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:54,908
Maybe the best we can do
is put as much good
448
00:22:54,908 --> 00:22:57,443
out into the universe
and hope some of it sticks.
449
00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:59,379
Although,
just between you and me,
450
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:03,116
I'd kill to write a song people
love as much as Happy Birthday.
451
00:23:03,116 --> 00:23:05,251
Ha! Ha! Ha!
452
00:23:05,251 --> 00:23:08,254
♪♪♪♪♪♪
453
00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:11,457
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