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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:05,103
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:08,707
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,543
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:16,448
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,483
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:23,321
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:28,360
♪ You would seethe biggest
giftwould be from me
8
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,296
♪ And the card attachedwould say
9
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:37,535
♪ "Thank youfor being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:08,533
Blanche, I'm trying to decide what
to get Dorothy for her birthday.
11
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,101
What do you think about this?
12
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:15,841
"Good looking single white male seeks
fun times on a regular basis."
13
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:19,444
Well, it's something
she doesn't have.
14
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,811
Hi.
15
00:01:20,813 --> 00:01:22,313
Dorothy, you're
home from school.
16
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:26,284
Aw, Ma, do you realize
you've said the same thing to me
17
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:30,222
just that way ever since I was
in the third grade. It's sweet.
18
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:34,392
It's not sweet, it's pathetic.
19
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:39,297
52 years and you've never stopped
off anywhere. Get a life!
20
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,901
So did you teach anybody
anything today?
21
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,703
Well, I tried but
it seems none of the kids
22
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,606
are interested in learning
how to diagram sentences.
23
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:53,245
I really don't get it. Am I the only one
who thinks diagramming sentences is fun?
24
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:56,247
You talk like this
on dates, don't you?
25
00:01:58,217 --> 00:02:00,418
Dorothy, you're a substitute.
26
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:02,587
Your job isn't
actually to teach.
27
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,822
Then what is it?
28
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,790
To keep the kids from
burning the school down
29
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,527
before the other teacher
gets back.
30
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,561
No, normally, you'd be right.
31
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:13,265
But this class knows that I'm
filling in for the whole semester.
32
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,034
I must say it's really nice
having the same class every day
33
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,503
and watching them
grow and learn.
34
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:22,507
And of course, they're not trying any
of that usual substitute shenanigans.
35
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:38,623
Is that "kick me hard" sign
a fashion statement?
36
00:02:39,591 --> 00:02:41,859
Another one?
37
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,330
Oh, no, this isn't
what you think.
38
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,731
No, this isn't
because I'm a substitute.
39
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:51,369
This is because I am flunking
the star of the football team,
40
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,838
and he's not gonna be
able to play on Saturday.
41
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,275
Oh, what a relief.
I thought you were the brunt of a joke.
42
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:59,544
Turns out they really hate you.
43
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:04,114
Dorothy, why don't you pass
the kid so he can play?
44
00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:08,720
I doubt if The Canterbury Tales
is gonna come up in a huddle.
45
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,156
I agree, Dorothy.
Saturday's game is a big one.
46
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:16,194
And speaking as a former cheerleader
and ex-bad girl in a health film,
47
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:23,235
I can tell you the importance of
school-sanctioned extracurricular activities.
48
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:27,505
Now, look, I want you both to know
that I don't enjoy failing anybody.
49
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:30,642
Especially this kid.
But he's lazy.
50
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:34,379
In his book report on A Tale of
TwoCities, he said he liked them both,
51
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:39,651
but he really prefers Minneapolis,
'cause that's where Prince is from.
52
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,088
Hi, Rose.
Oh, hi, honey.
53
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,924
Rose? Honey?
54
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,292
Is something the matter?
55
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:50,528
I just got back from
having my teeth worked on.
56
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:51,796
Oh, what was it,
a wisdom tooth?
57
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:55,900
(all laughing)
58
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:03,642
My dentist touched me.
I think he felt my breast.
59
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,511
Oh, Rose, that's terrible.
What happened?
60
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:09,847
Well, when the nitrous oxide wore
off, and my head began to clear,
61
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:14,519
Lou, that's my dentist, said
he was checking my heartbeat,
62
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,255
but I think he was
up to more than that.
63
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,425
Well, why, Rose?
I mean, what gave you that idea?
64
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,663
I don't think "wowee-wow-wow-wow"
is a medical term.
65
00:04:29,601 --> 00:04:31,302
How could he do
a thing like that?
66
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:35,106
Believe me, just because men in the
medical profession wear white,
67
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,908
does not mean
that they're angels.
68
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:41,178
He did something horrible and unethical,
and he has to answer for it.
69
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,381
We are gonna find out
who the proper authorities are,
70
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,417
and you're gonna lodge
a formal complaint.
71
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:49,354
I wish men would have breasts
just for one day.
72
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:53,791
Then they'd know what it's like to
be judged by some physical trait.
73
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,793
I mean, just because
I'm built like this,
74
00:04:55,795 --> 00:05:00,765
you wouldn't believe
how many people think I'm dumb.
75
00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:05,637
Rose, you're
too hard on yourself.
76
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:09,340
I know people who think
you're dumb over the phone.
77
00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:15,746
(doorbell rings)
78
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,948
Doorbell!
79
00:05:19,951 --> 00:05:21,719
(doorbell rings)
80
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,189
Doorbell!
81
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:28,560
Ma, what is the matter with you?
Can't you answer the door?
82
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:32,330
My butt's asleep, and you know,
I'm kinda gettin' into it.
83
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:39,604
Hi, Zbornak. We need to talk.
Yeah, come in, Coach.
84
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:42,474
Ma, this is Nick Odlivak,
the football coach.
85
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:46,644
I never thought I'd say this, Dorothy,
but I think you can do better.
86
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,614
Coach, let me
save you a speech.
87
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:54,285
Kevin deserves an F,
and that's what he's getting.
88
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,187
In all the years
I've been at St. Sebastian
89
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,156
Kevin Kelly's the best athlete
I've ever coached.
90
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:01,526
For the very first time, we got
a genuine shot at taking state.
91
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,462
With Kevin playing, we can
win that game in our sleep.
92
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,831
My butt's asleep.
93
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:10,268
We don't get much company.
94
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,537
Look, that's my decision.
95
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,272
Goodbye, Coach.
All right, all right, all right.
96
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,275
I'll tell you what.
I'll sweeten the pot.
97
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,310
You let Kevin play
this weekend,
98
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,880
and I'll take you out
Saturday night.
99
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,620
You haven't read The Art of
theDeal, have you, Coach?
100
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,726
Do I smell aftershave?
101
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:40,165
The coach was here, trying to get
me to compromise my principles.
102
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,267
I don't see what the big deal is
about passing this boy.
103
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,401
Why, in my neck of the woods,
104
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,471
they practically
gave grades away.
105
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:51,910
Blanche, in your neck of the woods,
men named Bubba get into law school.
106
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,013
Look, Blanche, it's time
that somebody took a stand.
107
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,917
I mean, it's time that somebody
made a difference in Kevin's life.
108
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,386
Oh, Rose. Honey,
did you make the call?
109
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:05,557
Blanche, I appreciate you giving
me the dental examiner's number,
110
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:08,226
but when I thought about
actually filing a report...
111
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:11,963
Rose, people like your dentist count
on their victims to back down.
112
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,965
Honey, you have
to have courage.
113
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:18,369
Rose, this is not unusual.
In most cases when a person is molested,
114
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:22,173
it's by a friend or a relative.
Someone they know.
115
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:26,377
But there are other considerations.
What if I were wrong?
116
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:30,982
The last time I had courage,
I confronted Lukan Ulfnooner,
117
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,853
St. Olaf's
moodiest plastic surgeon.
118
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,622
Thank you very much, Rose.
That was a great story.
119
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,457
Nice try, Dorothy.
120
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:45,797
Anyway, Doctor Ulfnooner
did some work on my mom.
121
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:50,735
And do you know who she came out
looking like? Raymond Massey.
122
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,905
Rose, that's terrible.
123
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:58,743
That's what I thought when I accused him
of malpractice and ruined his business.
124
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,246
Unfortunately,
little did I know...
125
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,982
Know what, Rose?
126
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,550
That was the look
she was going for.
127
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:12,656
Rose, just because you
had one bad experience
128
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,059
doesn't mean you shouldn't
confront Dr. Norgan.
129
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,728
Now, you were
taken advantage of.
130
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,362
Blanche, I was groggy.
131
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:21,199
And I'm not 100% sure
he did it.
132
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:26,004
And as far as being taken
advantage of, look who's talking.
133
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:30,541
I beg your pardon.
Why, when I submit to a man's advances,
134
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:34,512
it is with my consent.
135
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,982
A woman has the option to say no.
Honey, you weren't given that option.
136
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:41,118
You were given nitrous oxide!
137
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:46,557
By the way, Blanche,
when did you ever say no?
138
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:52,763
Did I say there was going to be a
question and answer period after I spoke?
139
00:09:06,511 --> 00:09:11,516
Oh, Sophia. Thank you, honey.
How perfectly lovely.
140
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:15,787
Well, I was boiling water anyway
to shrink the cyst on my backside.
141
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:26,063
I figured, "What the hell?
I'll throw in a tea bag and make myself a hero."
142
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,701
(doorbell rings)
143
00:09:34,239 --> 00:09:37,007
Ah, Father O'Mara,
this is a surprise.
144
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,509
Hello, Dorothy.
May I come in?
145
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:40,445
Well, of course you may.
Please, come in.
146
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:45,115
Ma, Blanche, this is Father O'Mara, St.
Sebastian's Dean of Boys.
147
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:49,020
Father, this is my mother, Sophia
Petrillo, my roommate, Blanche Devereaux.
148
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:53,591
Hello. Blanche Devereaux?
I've heard quite a bit about you.
149
00:09:56,361 --> 00:09:58,363
All good, I hope.
150
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:02,132
I'm sorry, I can't reveal
things learned in confession.
151
00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:07,739
But it's nice to match
the name up with a face.
152
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,675
Father, won't you sit down?
And would you like something to drink?
153
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:13,044
Tea would be lovely,
if it's no trouble.
154
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,178
No, not at all.
155
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:18,216
I already had some boiling water on
account of this cyst on my bottom.
156
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,317
Ma!
157
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,556
Dorothy, as you're
already eminently aware,
158
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:29,894
St. Sebastian's has a very big
football game on Saturday.
159
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:33,798
Father, I would think that you, of all
people, would have higher ideals.
160
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,001
The highest. What I'm trying
to say to you, Dorothy,
161
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:42,740
is I truly believe that He would
want Kevin to play Saturday.
162
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:46,610
Really?
163
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:50,782
I had no idea that He...
164
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:55,086
took such an interest
in high school football.
165
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:59,323
Oh, yes. He likes all sports.
Even gymnastics.
166
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:03,594
And I'm told
you're quite the gymnast.
167
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,598
Oops.
168
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:13,538
Father, I could really use the support
of the administration on this.
169
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,840
I'm thinking of the school
as a whole, Dorothy.
170
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,442
I'm thinking of the community.
171
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,711
I'm thinking about Kevin.
172
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,313
Well, if there's nothing
I can say to change your mind...
173
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,415
But I feel I should inform you
174
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,917
that we have an active
and vocal alumni
175
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,387
and I can't be responsible
for their actions.
176
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,122
Is that a threat?
177
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,758
More like a concern.
178
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:39,030
I appreciate your concern, Father,
but I'm sticking to my decision.
179
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,667
Ma, what is it now?
180
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:46,504
You threw a priest out of the house.
You disgust me.
181
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,572
I'm gonna go sit in my tea.
182
00:12:00,618 --> 00:12:02,453
Ma, what are you doing?
183
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,723
I can't believe I have a daughter
who threw a priest out the door.
184
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:11,529
Ma, you have relatives who
threw priests out of windows.
185
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,865
That was business.
186
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:18,602
Dorothy, somebody left this package
for you outside on the front porch.
187
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:21,372
Oh? What is it?
188
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,775
A fish wrapped in newspaper.
189
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,576
Oh, my God! Dorothy,
you know what this means?
190
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,913
White wine with dinner?
191
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,549
Do I look like I'm laughing?
Here, read this note.
192
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:35,052
"If Kevin Kelly doesn't
play in Saturday's game,
193
00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:39,556
Dorothy Z.
sleeps with the fishes."
194
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,259
Dorothy, please,
give the kid a "D."
195
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,628
Oh, come on, Ma,
it's just a prank.
196
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,430
Dorothy, I don't think you realize the
significance of football in the South.
197
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,902
I've had men break dates with
me to go to football games.
198
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:55,573
Oh, come on. Nobody's going to kill
me over a high school football game.
199
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,942
They killed this fish.
Dorothy, please. I'm scared.
200
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:03,847
All right. All right, Ma.
Nothing to be scared about.
201
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:07,351
I'll change Kevin's grade.
I mean, this isn't worth it.
202
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,654
I can't put my family
through this.
203
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,956
I thought I could
make a difference.
204
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,925
I can't. They win.
205
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,260
Thank you, Dorothy.
That makes me feel better.
206
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:17,261
That's good, Ma.
207
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,564
Dorothy, can we have
a big-screen TV?
208
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,731
No.
209
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,901
Dorothy, please.
I'm scared.
210
00:13:33,511 --> 00:13:36,781
What's going on?
Oh, Blanche is telling me about Freud.
211
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:40,551
Why you asking her?
I'm the one who slept with him.
212
00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:47,358
Sophia, this is serious, honey.
213
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,394
According to this book, if Rose
doesn't confront Dr. Norgan,
214
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,730
she could take her
hostilities out on us.
215
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,232
Tunnels. He loved to
drive through tunnels.
216
00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:04,074
Cheesecake. Good idea.
Now we can be old and fat.
217
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:05,409
Let me handle this.
218
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,779
Rose, you obviously had
a very traumatic childhood.
219
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,014
I need to hear your whole life.
220
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,252
I want you to start at the beginning
and tell me your first memory.
221
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:20,558
Ma, I'm sorry. I didn't want
your last days to be like this.
222
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,495
Close your eyes and think back.
What do you see?
223
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,463
A cow.
224
00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:40,344
A chicken, a goat, a lamb, a rooster...
no, two roosters.
225
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:44,615
A pig. There's a man with a gun.
226
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:49,453
He lifts the gun up into the air.
He shoots it and they're off.
227
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,822
The pig takes the lead,
the chicken is in second place,
228
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,158
the roosters are neck and neck,
right on the tail of the chicken.
229
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,762
They're going down the back stretch...
Rose, Rose, Rose.
230
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,798
Before the menagerie rounds
the clubhouse turn,
231
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,435
you have to make the decision
to confront Dr. Norgan.
232
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:08,105
You can't keep something like
this bottled up inside.
233
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,207
You're not alone. I have
trouble confronting people.
234
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:15,579
Yeah, right, Ma. Like just the other
day when you made the butcher cry.
235
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,450
The man wouldn't trim the fat.
What choice did I have?
236
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:24,288
When somebody does something wrong and it
violates you, you should tell them about it.
237
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,290
She's right. It's not easy
living with yourself
238
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:29,293
when you haven't stood up
for what you believe in.
239
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:32,930
I know. I backed down
myself today.
240
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,167
I guess I have to go and talk to him.
You'll feel better.
241
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,903
I'll go. Thank you, Blanche.
All of you.
242
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:44,808
Oh, Blanche, you did a pretty good job
focusing this for Rose. And for me.
243
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:48,779
I have to admit, you would have
made a very good psychologist.
244
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,782
Great idea, Pussycat.
Give Blanche an office with a couch
245
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:56,486
and a license to
charge by the hour.
246
00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:08,466
(doorbell rings)
247
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,234
Doorbell.
248
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:21,912
Morning, Ms. Zbornak.
Can we come in?
249
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,249
Well, I don't know, Kevin.
Can you?
250
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:28,185
Uh, may we come in?
Yes, of course.
251
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,121
Please come right in.
252
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:35,092
I don't know what just happened here, but
it didn't sound like it deserved an F.
253
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,762
It's because Kevin
is not an F student.
254
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:42,265
Look, it's not that I'm lazy, Ms. Zbornak.
I'm just really busy with ball.
255
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:45,636
I wanted to read The Tale of Two
Cities, but I didn't have the time.
256
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:52,409
That was my fault, Kevin - for interrupting
the high school experience with a book.
257
00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:56,113
Hey, you didn't know.
258
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,585
Kevin, what're you gonna do
when you're out in the world
259
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:04,588
competing with young men
who have applied themselves?
260
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,524
Like Ralph Zaldin.
261
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:12,029
You know, the boy whose underpants you
turned into a hat yesterday after school?
262
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,933
Yeah, well, I'm sorry, Ms.
Zbornak, but Ralph Zaldin's a geek.
263
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:20,337
Oh, a student pays attention,
works hard, gets good grades.
264
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,239
Does that make him a geek?
265
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,375
No, that makes him a dork.
266
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,012
A geek is more like, you know,
somebody with no friends,
267
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,882
stays home every Saturday night,
nose always buried in a book.
268
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:36,120
One word out of you and I cut
off your supply of Metamucil.
269
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,061
Look, Kevin, the reason
you're in this trouble
270
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,731
is because you have not been
working up to your ability.
271
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,735
I'll tell you what: if you can
spare me two evenings a week,
272
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:56,006
I'll give you an incomplete in
English and tutor you privately
273
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,843
until you can pass
the whole course.
274
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,178
That way you'll be
eligible to play tomorrow.
275
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,215
Fine. Fine. Well, as soon
as football season's over.
276
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:09,419
Young man, she is doing you a favor.
She's taking time from her busy schedule...
277
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:12,556
They don't know
you have no life.
278
00:18:15,193 --> 00:18:19,296
Kevin, no dice. You take it
or leave it. These are my terms.
279
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,598
Look, Coach, you told me if I was
nice to her, she'd roll over.
280
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,200
I'm outta here.
281
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:26,971
If you wanna win tomorrow,
it's up to you. Kevin!
282
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:31,775
Life gets tougher outside of the Driver's Ed.
car, doesn't it, Coach?
283
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:36,146
Zbornak, I'll do whatever I have to do to
make sure that Kevin plays in that game.
284
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,448
If you don't want to make it
easy on us, fine.
285
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,920
But you're not gonna stop us.
I guarantee you, that boy will be playing.
286
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:48,492
Well, at least I stood up
for my principles.
287
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,195
This is the proudest I've been
of you in my whole life.
288
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,697
Thanks, Ma.
Can you believe it?
289
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:57,934
My whole life and this is
the proudest I've ever been.
290
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:05,141
I'm depressed.
I need a cookie.
291
00:19:12,249 --> 00:19:14,084
Hello, Rose.
Hello.
292
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,921
Well, let's get to work.
Hop in the chair.
293
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:21,025
Look, Dr. Norgan... Hey, what's this "Dr.
Norgan"? What happened to "Lou"?
294
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:24,295
All right. Lou... There's something
I have to talk to you about.
295
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,564
Great. We'll talk while I work.
Come on, sit.
296
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,832
I, uh...
297
00:19:31,902 --> 00:19:35,672
Here we go.
I'll do that.
298
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,908
Now, Rose, what is it that you
wanted to talk to me about?
299
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:41,011
Well, I...
300
00:19:44,315 --> 00:19:47,818
(muffled indistinct)
301
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,686
Now, Rose, don't be ridiculous.
302
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,523
You can feel free to
discuss any subject with me.
303
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,758
(muffled)
304
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,893
Certainly I remember
our last appointment.
305
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:59,964
Bill's already in the mail.
306
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,733
(muffled)
307
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,502
No, there was nothing out of the
ordinary about the procedure.
308
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:09,006
I put in a temp, and now
you are ready for a crown.
309
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,775
I'm not talking
about the procedure.
310
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,344
I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
311
00:20:15,346 --> 00:20:19,683
You touched me.
You fondled me. Didn't you?
312
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:23,053
Rose, this happens
to dentists all the time.
313
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:27,958
A side effect of the anesthesia
can be hallucinations, fantasy.
314
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,560
It's like a dream.
315
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:33,330
I probably brushed up against
you and in your woozy state...
316
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,132
I am so sorry.
317
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,567
It's all right, Rose.
318
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,303
Well, listen, what do you say
we take a look at that crown.
319
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:41,038
Oh, you must hate me.
320
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,706
Rose, I don't hate you.
You're a friend.
321
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:45,676
A nice person. I look forward
to our times together.
322
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,878
(mumbles)
323
00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:57,654
You truly are a considerate,
compassionate, understanding woman.
324
00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:04,928
Lovely woman. Delicate.
Innocent. Enchanting.
325
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,831
Wowee-wow-wow-wow.
326
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,367
Oh!
327
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,703
Stand back. I'm not
afraid to use this.
328
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,405
Rose, what are you doing?
329
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:17,007
Oh, darn you! I believed you.
330
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,176
I even apologized to you.
331
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:22,112
Rose, I forgot myself.
It will never happen again.
332
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,848
You're damn right it won't happen again.
Not to me or to anybody else.
333
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:26,950
I'm reporting you to
the State Dental Board.
334
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,186
Rose!
One more thing before I go.
335
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:31,321
What?
Dance.
336
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:42,366
Come in.
337
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:48,572
Oh, no. You're not a
substitute nurse too, are you?
338
00:21:51,609 --> 00:21:53,443
I'm sorry about your knee.
339
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:56,413
You know, you wouldn't have been
blindsided if you'd stayed in the pocket.
340
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:59,783
You know football?
I know everything.
341
00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:05,255
Ah, I see some people have
already signed your cast.
342
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,792
Uh, yeah. Some of the guys from the team.
Uh, are you signing it?
343
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:11,328
Correcting it.
344
00:22:14,198 --> 00:22:19,102
There is no K in victory.
345
00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:21,438
Oh, yeah, and we'll just
change this to:
346
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:27,511
"Ms. Zbornak
eats shiitake mushrooms."
347
00:22:30,481 --> 00:22:34,952
Listen, if you're feeling guilty about
not influencing my life, don't.
348
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,755
People have been trying to get
me to be serious for years.
349
00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:41,391
We made a deal.
You promised me that I could tutor you
350
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:45,062
once football season was over,
and it looks like it is.
351
00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:47,297
Yeah, but this isn't
exactly fair. I can't move.
352
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:52,435
I know. I know. It'll be like
teaching fish in a barrel.
353
00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:54,905
Shall I begin?
Do I have a choice?
354
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,640
Well, you could push
the call button,
355
00:22:56,642 --> 00:23:00,677
but I'll be done with the book
by the time the nurse gets here.
356
00:23:02,947 --> 00:23:09,152
So, "It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times."
357
00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:11,388
Good stuff, huh?
358
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:15,392
"It was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness.
359
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:21,031
"It was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity.
360
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,866
It was the season of Light..."
30627
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