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1
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,529
- And that's pretty much it
for this morning.
2
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:08,791
Except remember to be
3
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,619
on the lookout
for jilted lovers.
4
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:14,188
We'd like to break the streak
of revenge stabbings
5
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,320
this Valentine's.
6
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:17,626
Any questions?
7
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,236
- We can't hear anything
you're saying.
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,542
- What?
9
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,761
- We can't hear anything
you're saying!
10
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,763
- I'm sorry. I--I'm having
a hard time
11
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,243
hearing you over the birds.
12
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,549
- Maybe Dina shouldn't
have brought
13
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,333
her loud, dirty birds
into work.
14
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:32,162
- The birds are suffering
severe separation anxiety.
15
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,643
What am I supposed to do?
Leave them home alone?
16
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,646
- I mean, traditionally,
that is what you do with pets.
17
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,128
- If Dina can bring in
her birds,
18
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,347
I'd like to bring in my cat.
He's very sick with dysentery.
19
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,827
- This is insane.
It smells
20
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,481
like Toucan Sam's butthole!
21
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,309
- Just because you eat
something fruity,
22
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,180
doesn't make your butt
smell fruity.
23
00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:51,703
- For birds, it does.
24
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,532
Small berries pass through them
virtually undigested.
25
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,491
- Okay, good meeting,
everyone!
26
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,492
all: What?
27
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,238
- Attention Cloud 9 shoppers,
28
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,501
today we celebrate
St. Valentine,
29
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,720
a priest who was beaten,
stoned,
30
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,114
dragged through town,
and decapitated.
31
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,682
Some say the color red
represents the pools of blood
32
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,423
around his body.
33
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,730
Cute teddy bears are 15% off.
34
00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:20,776
- What are you getting me
for Valentine's Day?
35
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,430
- Is it Valentine's Day?
36
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,127
- Mm-hmm.
You didn't get me something?
37
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:25,172
- Do you have
any Valentine's Day cards
38
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,260
for my wife
39
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,609
that are cheaper than this?
40
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:30,351
- Well, that one's a dollar,
so, no.
41
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:33,571
- Forget it.
I'll just text her.
42
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,573
- Love is in the air.
43
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,140
- Oh, come on!
44
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,099
Don't go all cynical on me.
This is a big day.
45
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:43,364
This is our first Valentine's
as... daters?
46
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,322
Not really a good word
for an adult relationship.
47
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,194
- No, boyfriend/girlfriend
makes us sound like
48
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,543
we're in 8th grade.
49
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,892
- Lovers is gross.
50
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,590
- Ugh. Partners?
51
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,724
- What are we, lesbians that
own a candle shop together?
52
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,726
- Fair point.
53
00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:00,598
- My main squeeze?
- Don't do that again.
54
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,165
- No?
- No.
55
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,210
- You don't like that,
main squeeze?
56
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,298
- I don't like that,
main squeeze.
57
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:05,516
- Give me a squeeze.
58
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,170
- How much would it be
for just one Post-It?
59
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,825
I don't need the whole pack.
60
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,436
- It's not how it works.
61
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,438
- If any of you guys
don't have plans,
62
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,179
I'm going to an
anti-Valentine's Day party
63
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,615
tonight with some college kids.
64
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:20,444
Should be a ton of ween
and the flyer says
65
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,142
no one shall be turned away.
66
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,230
- I'll go.
67
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,709
Jerry's working late
again tonight,
68
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,711
so I'm on my own.
- Wow, again.
69
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,191
It's funny that a sign spinner
70
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,279
would keep those kinds
of hours.
71
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,672
- I know.
- Sandra?
72
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:31,847
Do you have
any plans for tonight?
73
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:34,284
- Nope. Nuh-uh.
74
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,807
Not seeing anyone,
75
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,636
so I'm just gonna hang alone
in the ol' apartmentito.
76
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,943
- So sad.
- Isn't it?
77
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,339
- Hey, Dana?
78
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,515
So I don't know
what you thought you saw
79
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,256
me and Jerry doing
during the blizzard.
80
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,171
- Oh, I know what I saw.
81
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,825
It was like Winnie the Pooh
with his head in the honeypot.
82
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:57,307
- What had happened was I had
spilled coffee on my pants,
83
00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,570
so I took them off to dry,
and Jerry came over to help,
84
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,747
but he tripped and tipped over
into my crotch, so--
85
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,489
- Stop, please.
86
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,622
I'm not gonna tell anyone
about your little affair.
87
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:12,670
- Okay, thank you.
I hate having secrets,
88
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:16,587
although the sneaking around
has made it even sexier.
89
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,937
- Nope, nope, nope.
That's gross.
90
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,462
- He comes over every night,
91
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:24,595
and sometimes
we make lasagna together
92
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,684
and eat it off
each other's bodies.
93
00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:29,513
- Elias, I'm gonna need you
to clean up the vomit
94
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,254
that's gonna be all over
the ladies' bathroom
95
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,821
in about three minutes.
96
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,825
Go on.
97
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:40,698
- Everyone's calm.
No eye contact.
98
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,831
- Seems like a lot of work
just to buy some chips.
99
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:46,835
- I'm not gonna let
some stupid birds
100
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:51,405
stop me from getting
my morning Takis.
101
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,885
- You know we sell Takis
in the store, right?
102
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,584
- Uh-huh, but I like
the little ones
103
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,542
that come out of
the vending machine.
104
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:02,242
- Aww, I like learning
about your little rituals.
105
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,896
- So you want Cheyenne
to tattoo your mom's face
106
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,508
on your back
as a gift to your mom?
107
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,900
- Yeah, I was gonna go
to a pro,
108
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,424
but you cannot get
an appointment
109
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,903
at a tattoo parlor
on Valentine's Day.
110
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,731
- Don't worry,
my instructor says
111
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,559
that I'm the best in the class.
112
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:18,432
He was trained by the guy
who did Steve-O's back.
113
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,868
- I'm sorry,
I'm still not over this.
114
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,914
You want a tattoo of your mom,
for your mom,
115
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,960
on Valentine's Day.
Why?
116
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,396
- 'Cause I'm her special guy,
117
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,006
and the tattoo will be
a surprise
118
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,921
for when she scratches my back
while I fall asleep.
119
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:33,055
Don't make this weird.
- Yeah, I made it weird.
120
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:36,580
- Which sweater makes me look
more like a wise dad,
121
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,278
the charcoal or the smoke?
122
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,845
- Hmm, I think the charcoal.
123
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,500
- That's the smoke.
124
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,807
Dina's right,
you don't know fashion.
125
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,505
- Okay. Well, what do you
need them for?
126
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,942
- Oh, I'm making videos
of myself for Rose to watch
127
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,770
when I'm not home
'cause, you know,
128
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,946
I work here
16 to 19 hours a day,
129
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,774
so I'm missing
a lot of time with her.
130
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:57,949
- Wait, what--why?
131
00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,647
Why are working
that many hours?
132
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,344
- Well, you know,
I get here around 4:00 a.m.
133
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:02,911
to walk the store,
134
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,913
and then there's the workday,
and then after closing,
135
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,915
it takes me two hours
to prepare my script
136
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,612
for the next morning's
break room meeting.
137
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,528
- Those are
pre--prepared comments?
138
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,617
- No, I just come up
with all that
139
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,358
off the top of my head.
140
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,925
Come on, Amy.
141
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,710
- Careful, careful.
142
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,016
- I'm being careful.
143
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,887
I don't need you
to tell me to be careful.
144
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,759
All right, here we go.
145
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,851
- Nice job.
- All right.
146
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:34,377
You see, the trick
is steady hands.
147
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,727
I was gonna be a surgeon, but--
148
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,425
- Oh, no!
- Whoa!
149
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,078
- Uh, nope. Uh, oh.
No. Uh-uh.
150
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,471
- No, no, no, no.
Get the birds!
151
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,559
- I know!
152
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,047
- No thank you, no thank you,
no thank you.
153
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:54,571
- Wait, stop it! No!
154
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,966
- No. No, wait.
155
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,796
The birds are out!
Lock all the doors!
156
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,406
They're getting away!
157
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,060
Shut the doors!
It's not too late!
158
00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:06,583
Oh, God! No!
159
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,063
Don't let them get away!
160
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,978
- Oh, my God!
- Come back!
161
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,067
Oh, no! The doors! Please!
162
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,504
Ah! My babies!
163
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,159
No!
164
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,990
- Sebastian! Where are you?
165
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,951
Cockatrice!
166
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,040
I'm here, baby!
167
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,216
Birdie!
168
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,480
- Ugh, I feel so bad for her.
169
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,482
It's like with kids, you know?
170
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,353
You can be the best parent,
171
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,181
and then one day you forget
to lock the cage,
172
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,357
and they're gone.
173
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,968
I don't put my kids in cages.
That's...
174
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:46,014
- It wasn't Dina,
it was Garret.
175
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,842
- What?
- Yeah, it was a mistake.
176
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:50,453
Uh, he wanted these Takis.
It's--you had to be there,
177
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,977
but anyway, he--he
cracked the door open,
178
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,326
and the birds
just all flew out.
179
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,850
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
180
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,417
- Hey, can you two stop
scissoring each other
181
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,201
for one second
and help me call my birds?
182
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,898
- Yes, sure.
183
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:10,517
- Happy Valentine's Day.
184
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,389
- Ooh, I thought
you weren't seeing anyone.
185
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,304
- It's not--I mean,
it's kind of a--
186
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,001
it's just--it's complicated.
187
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,048
- What are you laughing at?
188
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,180
- Oh, I was just remembering
the time you wanted everyone
189
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:24,966
to think you had a boyfriend,
so you kept sending yourself
190
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,968
Valentine's gifts from Jeff.
191
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,622
- I didn't send this
to myself.
192
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,493
- There's a card.
193
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,147
- No, wait. No, no.
194
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:36,107
- "To my Sandy Bear,
love Antonio Lasagna."
195
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:42,113
That's a--such a distinctive,
real-sounding name.
196
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,899
- It's Italian, probably.
It sounds Italian.
197
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,597
- Mm-hmm.
- Yup.
198
00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:49,643
- Now, this book is one
199
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,427
that Nana Sturgis
used to read to me
200
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,907
when I was little.
201
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,213
It's called "You Can Do It."
202
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,522
"Jimmy wants to be
an astronaut
203
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,307
"and fly a rocket to space.
204
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,962
"You can do it, Jimmy!
205
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,399
"Polly wants to be
an astronaut's wife
206
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:11,055
"and keep the house tidy
the way Jimmy likes it.
207
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,406
You can do it, Polly."
208
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,714
Wow, I have not read this
in a while.
209
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,934
Um, what else we got?
210
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,545
"Midget Sam Goes
To Darkest Africa," no.
211
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,460
"Get To Know The Orientals"?
212
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,985
- Oh, man! Oh, God!
213
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,205
You do not get used
to that pain!
214
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,425
Oh! But it'll all be worth it
for that look at my mom's face
215
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,949
when she takes my shirt off.
216
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,690
- Totally, totally!
217
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,999
- Uh, can you hang on
for a second?
218
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,610
I just have to tell Mateo
something before I forget.
219
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,613
- Oh, oh.
- Hey.
220
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,353
I up.
221
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,138
- What are you talking about?
222
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:53,271
- Marcus's tattoo.
It's way harder than I thought.
223
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,708
- I thought you were
taking classes.
224
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:57,145
- I am, but so far,
I've only tattooed grapefruits,
225
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,973
and I thought it would be
the same, but it's not!
226
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,628
The skin is all mushy
and bleed-y.
227
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:04,413
- Girl, don't be so hard up
on yourself, okay?
228
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:07,242
I'm sure it's not nearly
as bad as you--.
229
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,504
- What?
230
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,420
- That is just so amazing.
231
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:14,031
Um, is your mother a model?
232
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,120
- Uh, kind of.
She used to wear
233
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,600
the Fredbird costume
for the Cardinals.
234
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,517
I can see that.
235
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,173
- Wow, that's a lot.
- Yeah, what do you think?
236
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,349
I had to take down that poster
of that missing kid,
237
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,525
but I mean at this point...
238
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,614
I never should've left
them in that cheap cage
239
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,615
with that crap lock.
240
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,530
This is why workplaces need
241
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,663
secure, dedicated aviaries.
242
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,360
- Dina, you can't really
blame yourself.
243
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,057
- That's sweet of you to say,
244
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,711
but I have to take
responsibility for what I did.
245
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,626
I let my birds escape,
246
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,281
and I to live with that
for the rest of my life.
247
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,543
- Um, no, Dina--
248
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,676
- No, it's fine.
It's fine.
249
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,547
I'm already getting used
to the feeling.
250
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,377
It's just like a--
like a searing gnawing
251
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,553
deep inside my soul.
252
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,121
It's very, very specific.
253
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,731
Um, oops!
254
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,428
Out of flyers.
255
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,789
- I feel guilty
about the birds.
256
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:20,358
- Okay.
- I just...
257
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:21,708
I just kind of need
to talk to a friend.
258
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:25,450
- Oh, oh, well,
I'm a friend, so talk away.
259
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:28,410
- It's just this is, like,
the worst thing I've ever done,
260
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,804
and I have no idea what Dina's
going to do
261
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,675
if she finds out
that it was me.
262
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,156
- Oh, listen, you--you do not
have to worry about that, okay?
263
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,679
Because I am not gonna
tell her.
264
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,160
This is a secret
that stays amongst friends.
265
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,379
- No, I--I--I know
I can trust you.
266
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,120
I mean, it's not like
you're going to run off
267
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,426
and tell Amy
or anything like that.
268
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,428
- Oh, uh, Amy--Amy too.
269
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,473
I mean, uh,
of--of course Amy too.
270
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,693
That's--nobody needs to know.
271
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,391
- You haven't told her, right?
272
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,829
- Mm-mm.
273
00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,484
Oh, hey! Hey, hey.
I was looking for you.
274
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:00,703
- I was looking for you.
275
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,139
- You haven't said anything
to Dina
276
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,271
about Garrett yet, have you?
277
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,402
- No, but we have to tell her.
278
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,577
- Uh, no, actually,
we--we can't.
279
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,275
- No, no.
We have to.
280
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,190
She's thinks she's the one
who let the birds loose.
281
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,887
- Uh, yeah, okay,
yeah and that sucks,
282
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,759
but I wasn't supposed
to say anything to you
283
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:15,283
in the first place,
so now you can't say anything.
284
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,154
- So, I'm sorry, I'm supposed
to just let her go on
285
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,200
beating herself up when
it wasn't really her fault?
286
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,550
- Uh, exactly.
- No! I can't do that.
287
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:24,292
How am I supposed to do that?
- Just pretend you don't know.
288
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,773
- But I do know.
- That's why I said pretend.
289
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,600
- Excuse me,
290
00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,386
this card has a frog and a bear
kissing each other.
291
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,170
- Very good, yeah.
- What's next,
292
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,564
kangaroos and sharks
having full on anal sex?
293
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:36,870
Shame.
294
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,916
- Wow.
295
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,704
How's it going back there?
296
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,053
- It's... good.
297
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,882
- It's really turning
into something.
298
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,666
- Uh, need more ink.
299
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,888
- What do I do?
- Can't you just cover it up?
300
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,672
- Oh, yeah, sure.
301
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,152
I'll just turn it into
a top hat
302
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,762
and then tattoo his mom's face
underneath,
303
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,025
and then that way it's like
she's a magician, huh?
304
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,331
How's that?
305
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,333
You've never been sarcastic
with me before.
306
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:06,900
I don't care for it.
307
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,427
- It's tough to watch, huh?
- Yeah, it's terrible.
308
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,864
- I just wish there was
something we can do for her,
309
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,824
make her not blame herself
so much.
310
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,782
- Yeah, I wish we--
I can do that too.
311
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,698
- Hey, what are y'all two fools
312
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,134
talking about, huh?
Stuff?
313
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,745
- Nothing.
- Dina.
314
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,659
- Dina?
What are you saying about Dina?
315
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:31,794
- Nothing, just that I wish
we knew how her birds got out,
316
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,317
'cause she thinks
it was her fault.
317
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,016
- Well, it probably is
her fault, for all we know.
318
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,801
- Yup, none of us were there.
319
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,803
- Nope.
320
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,065
- You told her, didn't you?
- I did not.
321
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,371
- Yes, he did.
- Amy!
322
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,199
- Dude, I trusted you!
- I trusted her!
323
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,983
- Fine, you both messed up.
324
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,029
- What about you?
- What did I do?
325
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,902
- ♪ All this love
326
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:58,038
♪ Is waiting for you
my baby ♪
327
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:01,693
all quartet: ♪ Keep
the love-light glowing ♪
328
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:05,088
♪ In your eyes so true
329
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,177
- How much is it costing her
to keep this up?
330
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,701
- It's so sad. I love it.
331
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,747
all quartet: ♪ Let me
call you, sweetheart ♪
332
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:17,100
♪ I'm in love with you
333
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,974
- What are you doing?
334
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,802
- Not gonna need
this stuff anymore.
335
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,499
- I mean,
they might still come back.
336
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:25,848
They--birds have, like,
337
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,023
a great sense of direction,
right?
338
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,329
- They don't know where
the store is.
339
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,026
They could be halfway
to Mexico by now.
340
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,723
That's assuming
they didn't find their way
341
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,248
into a jet engine
or an archery event
342
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,903
or a really clear window,
343
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,252
all because of me.
344
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,210
- Look, Dina,
the fact is that, um--
345
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,821
- Although,
I guess it is possible
346
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,431
they could find their way back
to my apartment.
347
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,867
- It is?
- Yeah.
348
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,042
I mean, a few of them
could've found their way,
349
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:47,391
and the rest just followed.
350
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,045
- Well, that's awesome.
351
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,525
Let's go check it out
right now.
352
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,179
- Wow, you really care
about this, huh?
353
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,398
- You have no idea.
Come on, let's go. Let's go!
354
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,314
- When a man and a woman
355
00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:01,536
go into a bedroom with God,
356
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,800
and they...
357
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:09,326
There comes a moment of, uh--
358
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:12,416
between that is holy and...
359
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:21,077
- Ow!
360
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,906
No!
361
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,908
Oh!
362
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:33,089
- Wow, that--that sure
is something.
363
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,570
- It's a work in progress.
364
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,398
- You think my mom
will be surprised?
365
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,226
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, she's going to be...
366
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,227
shocked.
367
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,011
Hey Jonah,
368
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,970
wanna see what my mom
looks like on my back?
369
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,797
- No, thanks.
I'm busy.
370
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,975
- Drama.
- Excuse me.
371
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,282
All right, let's keep going.
372
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,893
Oh.
373
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:59,333
Ow! Oh, God! Why?
374
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,119
- Are you actually mad at me?
375
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,860
- A little bit, yeah.
376
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,166
- Wow, okay, well,
377
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:07,994
I'm not really
that happy with you either.
378
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,952
- Great, it should be
an exciting Valentine's dinner.
379
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,955
- You can't expect me to side
with Garrett over Dina.
380
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,523
- I was expecting you
to side with me over Dina.
381
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,525
- Why?
Because you're my boyfriend?
382
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,135
- Yeah, pretty much.
That's how it works.
383
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,310
- Well, not for me.
384
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,138
- Great, well, if you love Dina
so much,
385
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,400
why don't you go to dinner
with her tonight then, huh?
386
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,575
- Oh great, just go on
and be a dick.
387
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:25,750
- Oh, come on.
388
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,361
- Of course I don't love Dina.
I love you.
389
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,928
- Yeah, well, I love you too,
390
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,494
but that has nothing to do
with what we're talking about,
391
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,279
and I'm pretty sure
we both just said
392
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:35,325
that we love each other.
- Yeah, I know what we said!
393
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,067
- Well, I'm glad
you're listening.
394
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:41,897
- Portobello! Squeedledee!
395
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,248
Russell Crow,
where are you guys?
396
00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:46,989
Follow my voice!
397
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,339
- Garrett, it's okay.
398
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,080
They're gone.
399
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,213
- Damn it!
400
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,345
- Wow, you're almost as upset
about this as I am.
401
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,913
- Yeah, man,
I--I love those guys.
402
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,654
- Guess I'm going to have
to get used to being alone.
403
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,177
- No, Dina, you're not alone.
404
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,875
I mean...
405
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:05,181
I'm here.
406
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,009
- Thank you.
407
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,359
You're a really good friend.
408
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,405
- No. No, I'm not.
409
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:15,148
Look, Dina, um...
410
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:17,106
I need to, um...
411
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,370
I guess I wanted to, um...
412
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,505
I wanted to give you this.
413
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,682
- Why are you giving me $17?
414
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:31,207
- 'Cause, uh, I thought that
you needed it.
415
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,557
- Well, you're just full
of surprises.
416
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,038
Thank you.
417
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,518
- You know what?
No, look, here's the deal.
418
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,172
This was not what I was--
419
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,695
whoa, whoa, whoa!
Dina, what are you doing?
420
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,305
- I just--I just don't want
to think about the birds
421
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,350
right now.
422
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,484
You're into this, right?
423
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,225
- Uh-huh.
- All right.
424
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:53,055
- You're--you're just
not taking your clothes off.
425
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,231
- Uh, uh, eh,
that gets me horny.
426
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,712
- That's new. Hot.
427
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:04,197
- Thanks, not just
for the sex--
428
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,546
but, I mean, it was decent.
429
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,069
- Sure.
430
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,158
- I mean...
431
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,160
thanks for being so supportive.
432
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,554
I guess we'll always be there
for each other, huh?
433
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,077
- Yup.
434
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,688
- I mean, it was better
than decent.
435
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:18,776
It just wasn't great.
436
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,778
You know, it was fine.
437
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,563
If it were a meal,
it would be like,
438
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,652
"Oh, that's done."
439
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,436
You know?
440
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,789
Did I climax? Sure.
441
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,144
Ah, this is good.
442
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,754
I think as soon
as this is done,
443
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,625
I am going to be ready
for round deux.
444
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,717
- Now you're probably
in a lot of pain right now,
445
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,590
so you're probably
not seeing it right.
446
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,113
- That's a good point.
447
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,115
It you can see it
how we're seeing it,
448
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,117
it's even better than this.
449
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:58,164
- Yeah, and--and the reason
for the hat is because
450
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,731
moms today have to wear
so many different hats,
451
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:03,604
or, like, one big hat.
452
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,781
- What was that?
453
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,217
What have you done to me?
454
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,871
- Huh?
- I'm sorry.
455
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:12,134
What have you done to me?
456
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:15,572
- So to review, you released
Dina's birds into the wild,
457
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,226
allowed her to believe
it was her fault,
458
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,620
persuaded her to go back
to her apartment,
459
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:22,797
and proceeded to have sex
with her in exchange for $17?
460
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,581
- Twice. We did it twice.
461
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,192
- What is wrong with you?
462
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,629
- I just wanted some Takis,
you know?
463
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,631
Rolled up tortilla chips,
bit of flavor in the morning,
464
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:31,980
and then everything
just escalated.
465
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,590
- You know, as your friend,
I'd ask you
466
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,070
to consider
your part in this,
467
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,725
which is all of it.
This is all your fault.
468
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,988
- Yeah, you're right.
I'm gonna tell her.
469
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,468
- No!
- Good.
470
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,773
- No! Absolutely not!
471
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,601
She must never know
any of this.
472
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,212
- You were the one who said
he should be telling her.
473
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,170
- Yes, but that was before!
474
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,085
Before I was the friend
who sat idly by
475
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,131
while her birds' murderer
went off and sympathy-sexed her
476
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,828
at her lowest moment.
477
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,830
Absolutely not! No, sir!
She will not know any of this!
478
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,571
- Wait a second,
so I'm supposed to sit around
479
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:58,963
with this for the rest
of my life?
480
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,226
I can't live with
that kind of guilt.
481
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,837
- Well, too bad!
482
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,882
Find a way.
483
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,018
- While I have you,
484
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,847
um, we said we love each other,
485
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,936
so pretty cool.
486
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,156
I'll fill you in
on the details later.
487
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:20,855
- Sandra, are you sure
488
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,117
you don't wanna come
to the party?
489
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,032
It's going to be, like,
dong central.
490
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,165
- That sounds really fun,
but no thank you.
491
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,036
- Take the hint, Justine.
492
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,169
She obviously
has big plans tonight
493
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,171
with Antonio Lasagna.
494
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,999
- Well, if you wanna crush
some dong, call me.
495
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,219
- They better have food
at this party.
496
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,787
- Actually, they told me
I had to bring pizzas.
497
00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,702
- I really hate her.
498
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,747
- Me too, Sandy Bear.
499
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,188
- Rose, I am so sorry
500
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,842
I couldn't be there
for your wedding day,
501
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:56,064
but I am so happy for you
and your husband--
502
00:19:56,107 --> 00:20:00,068
or--or wife or sex android.
503
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,636
I--I don't know
what the future is like.
504
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,594
Just don't make
505
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,596
the same mistakes I made,
you know?
506
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,685
Spending all your time at work
and missing out
507
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,252
on these precious moments.
508
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,646
I mean, if I could go back
in time
509
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,648
and do it all over again,
510
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,780
I...
511
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,304
huh.
512
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,657
I think I'm done
being manager.
513
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:31,752
- So where are we going
to dinner?
514
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,101
- It's a surprise.
515
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,755
- Is it that tapas place
I love?
516
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,322
It's that tapas place I love.
517
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:39,063
- You guys heading out?
- Yeah, going to dinner.
518
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,935
- Oh, that sounds fun.
519
00:20:40,978 --> 00:20:43,111
I'd go with you but, uh,
I've got to deal with the birds
520
00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:45,156
and their medicine and...
521
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,724
Wow, I guess I don't
522
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:50,684
have to deal
with any of that anymore.
523
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,295
You know what?
I can go with you.
524
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,819
- Oh, yeah, well--
- Oh, wow, that's perfect.
525
00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:57,778
- So where we headed?
526
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:01,738
- Uh, it's this place off of 44
called Barrel and Sage,
527
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:04,132
kind of a, um,
small plates tapas thing.
528
00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:06,352
- Not gonna work for me.
Not enough vegan options.
529
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:08,310
I do know of a grocery store
that has tables,
530
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,964
that way we can all do
our own thing.
531
00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:12,923
Or, oh, have you guys
ever been to Super Tofu?
532
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:15,143
It's not great, but you do not
need reservations.
533
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:16,318
There's never anyone there.
534
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:17,972
I mean, it smells bad,
535
00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,800
but you get used to it
as the meal progresses.
36631
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