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1
00:00:01,564 --> 00:00:03,108
Where's Miles? He's missing breakfast.
2
00:00:03,109 --> 00:00:04,789
Maybe he's upstairs, studying.
3
00:00:06,961 --> 00:00:08,495
That's always funny.
4
00:00:08,496 --> 00:00:10,864
Right? Well, who gets his waffle?
5
00:00:10,865 --> 00:00:12,332
Ah! Prison rules!
6
00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:15,135
Hey, Miles, hurry up and get down
here before Buck licks your bacon!
7
00:00:15,136 --> 00:00:16,537
Ah, too late.
8
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:19,540
- Oh.
- Do we have any more helium?
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:20,674
- More helium?
- Mnh-mnh.
10
00:00:20,675 --> 00:00:22,109
- Oh, damn.
- Mnh-mnh.
11
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:25,312
Look. It's the old man from "Up."
12
00:00:25,313 --> 00:00:27,414
Miles, stop! What are you doing?
13
00:00:27,415 --> 00:00:28,849
Wait, Mom. Let this play out.
14
00:00:28,850 --> 00:00:31,919
Well, we had the extra helium
left over from Maizy's birthday,
15
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,455
so I thought balloon
chair would be great
16
00:00:34,456 --> 00:00:37,925
for my YouTube channel, "Going
the Extra Mile with Miles."
17
00:00:37,926 --> 00:00:41,161
Sounds good, but you should
call it "The Miles High Club."
18
00:00:41,162 --> 00:00:42,930
Not even a little appropriate.
19
00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:44,765
Miles, what were you thinking?
20
00:00:44,766 --> 00:00:47,568
I was thinking I'd like to
see the curvature of the earth,
21
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,902
or at least Lake Michigan.
22
00:00:48,903 --> 00:00:51,205
And how were you
planning on getting down?
23
00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:52,949
Okay, I'm gonna say something
24
00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:54,708
I've said a shocking number of times...
25
00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:56,043
"Hand me the knife, son."
26
00:00:56,044 --> 00:00:57,945
Oh, hell no. That's my knife.
27
00:00:57,946 --> 00:00:59,546
Gi... Hey!
28
00:00:59,547 --> 00:01:02,416
Baby, listen to me. You
cannot do things like this.
29
00:01:02,417 --> 00:01:04,651
- It's too dangerous.
- She's got a point.
30
00:01:04,652 --> 00:01:06,820
Tia, go get me a chair.
The boys needs a co-pilot.
31
00:01:06,821 --> 00:01:08,789
No! Nobody's flying today.
32
00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:11,125
Miles, go upstairs.
33
00:01:11,126 --> 00:01:12,726
We'll talk about this in a minute.
34
00:01:14,362 --> 00:01:15,896
Honey, what are we gonna do with him?
35
00:01:15,897 --> 00:01:17,331
Well, we need to have another boy.
36
00:01:17,332 --> 00:01:19,933
'Cause the way he's going, the
Russell name is gonna die with me.
37
00:01:19,934 --> 00:01:22,277
Oh, no, I'm sure there are a
couple little Bucks out there.
38
00:01:22,278 --> 00:01:23,403
You can't prove that.
39
00:01:23,404 --> 00:01:25,472
There's a lot of black
people with this nose.
40
00:01:25,473 --> 00:01:27,207
Can you excuse us for a minute, please?
41
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,109
I think I can.
42
00:01:30,512 --> 00:01:33,847
So, I guess we can thank your brother
for yet another near catastrophe.
43
00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:35,315
What are you talking
about? This isn't Buck.
44
00:01:35,316 --> 00:01:36,650
Miles has always been impulsive.
45
00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:38,919
He has gotten worse since
your brother's been here.
46
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,287
Hey!
47
00:01:41,356 --> 00:01:42,456
What are you doing?
48
00:01:42,457 --> 00:01:44,258
We're doing indoor s'mores.
49
00:01:44,259 --> 00:01:46,059
Yeah, the torch was my idea.
50
00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:48,061
It's like they feed off of each other.
51
00:01:48,062 --> 00:01:49,730
Okay, maybe Miles is
going through something
52
00:01:49,731 --> 00:01:52,204
and, yes, maybe I have thought
about increasing our insurance,
53
00:01:52,205 --> 00:01:53,708
but this has nothing to do with Buck.
54
00:01:53,709 --> 00:01:55,836
Alexis! Toss me my knife.
55
00:01:55,837 --> 00:01:58,572
The handle side, though.
56
00:01:58,573 --> 00:02:00,941
Whoo!
57
00:02:02,877 --> 00:02:07,932
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
58
00:02:09,817 --> 00:02:12,486
Whoa! Denied, fool!
59
00:02:12,487 --> 00:02:15,789
C'mon, man. You got to give me that one.
60
00:02:15,790 --> 00:02:17,157
You the man.
61
00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:20,260
What, you upset about
your balloon chair?
62
00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:23,530
Yeah. I mean, Mom and Dad
just got so freaked out.
63
00:02:23,531 --> 00:02:26,633
Well, that's their job. If
you die, they get arrested.
64
00:02:27,535 --> 00:02:29,770
Down in Atlanta, I was a legend.
65
00:02:29,771 --> 00:02:32,639
People did not know
what I was gonna do next.
66
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,108
But down here, nobody knows who I am.
67
00:02:35,109 --> 00:02:38,045
I get it. Trying to
build a rep, ain't you?
68
00:02:38,046 --> 00:02:40,013
Yeah, exactly.
69
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:42,382
Tia's perfect, and Maizy's so cute
70
00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:45,152
that if she farts,
everybody goes, "Aww."
71
00:02:45,153 --> 00:02:47,854
I mean, being unpredictable is my thing.
72
00:02:47,855 --> 00:02:50,791
Preach, little brother.
Preach. Let the haters hate.
73
00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:53,927
Finally, someone around
here understands me.
74
00:02:53,928 --> 00:02:55,729
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Uncle Buck.
75
00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:58,098
I'm glad that you're living with us.
76
00:02:58,099 --> 00:03:00,567
Aw, man. Me too. You know what?
77
00:03:00,568 --> 00:03:04,338
Between your balloon chair
and Maizy's little farts,
78
00:03:04,339 --> 00:03:06,373
you kids are pretty entertaining.
79
00:03:08,009 --> 00:03:10,577
Okay, guys! Let's go.
It's line-up time. Come on.
80
00:03:10,578 --> 00:03:13,213
I'm gonna step out.
Line-ups never sway my way.
81
00:03:13,214 --> 00:03:15,682
Now, before we go to
parent-teacher meetings,
82
00:03:15,683 --> 00:03:18,151
does anyone have anything
they think we should know?
83
00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:19,953
We don't want to hear any surprises.
84
00:03:19,954 --> 00:03:22,556
Depends. Do you find
the words "straight A's
85
00:03:22,557 --> 00:03:25,826
and exemplary compliance with
the school code" surprising?
86
00:03:25,827 --> 00:03:28,061
Oh. You know I don't. That's my girl!
87
00:03:28,062 --> 00:03:29,329
Look for my drawing.
88
00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:31,765
Some of the kids say it's a masterpiece,
89
00:03:31,766 --> 00:03:33,967
but I don't do it for the applause.
90
00:03:33,968 --> 00:03:35,469
I'm looking forward to it.
91
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:37,013
You know, I've been a big fan of yours
92
00:03:37,014 --> 00:03:38,872
since your stick-figure period.
93
00:03:38,873 --> 00:03:41,508
Uh, Miles, you're not looking at me.
94
00:03:41,509 --> 00:03:43,510
Is there something you want to tell us?
95
00:03:43,511 --> 00:03:46,246
You know what? Skip mine. It's boring.
96
00:03:46,247 --> 00:03:49,650
You two should go to dinner,
reconnect as a couple.
97
00:03:49,651 --> 00:03:52,686
I hear there's a great new
tapas place on Randolph Street.
98
00:03:52,687 --> 00:03:55,255
Uh, y-y'all go and get out of here.
99
00:03:55,256 --> 00:03:58,091
I'll make sure they don't have no fun.
100
00:03:59,627 --> 00:04:01,361
Why are you hugging me so hard?
101
00:04:01,362 --> 00:04:04,097
Because I may not want
to when I get home.
102
00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:05,632
- You ready, honey?
- Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:07,601
Let's go. Bye, kids!
104
00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:09,936
I'm so grounded.
105
00:04:09,937 --> 00:04:12,139
You stay in trouble. What'd you do?
106
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:14,041
Today on the "Extra Mile with Miles,"
107
00:04:14,042 --> 00:04:16,009
we're gonna settle
the age-old question...
108
00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,944
Who's faster, the rat
from the biology lab
109
00:04:17,945 --> 00:04:20,147
or the first-grade hamster?
110
00:04:20,148 --> 00:04:22,849
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Go, go, go, go, go!
111
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:24,584
Come on! Go, go, go!
112
00:04:25,887 --> 00:04:28,355
Oh, no! The rat's eating the hamster.
113
00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:30,824
- Ooh. That took a turn.
- Gross!
114
00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:33,193
But it's still going the
extra mile with Miles.
115
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,164
Oh.
116
00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:40,500
So that's what happened to Sprinkles.
117
00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:42,284
- The rat went rogue.
- You're cooked, Miles.
118
00:04:42,285 --> 00:04:44,104
Say goodbye to outdoors, desserts,
119
00:04:44,105 --> 00:04:45,372
your homemade nunchuks.
120
00:04:45,373 --> 00:04:48,442
And maybe think about
what you did to Sprinkles.
121
00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:51,011
Yeah, they right.
You're going to the hole.
122
00:04:51,012 --> 00:04:53,280
But that don't mean we
can't do it big tonight.
123
00:04:54,449 --> 00:04:56,149
What are you talking about?
124
00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,813
I'm talking about a
"going to jail" party.
125
00:04:57,814 --> 00:04:58,852
That's what you do
126
00:04:58,853 --> 00:05:01,288
the night before your
homeboy gets locked up.
127
00:05:01,289 --> 00:05:03,890
You show them a good time
before you doin' time.
128
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:04,858
Awesome!
129
00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:06,760
Man, I want to go to jail!
130
00:05:06,761 --> 00:05:09,262
And the wonderful lessons continue.
131
00:05:09,263 --> 00:05:11,298
Sprinkles lost a lot of blood,
132
00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:13,467
but he's on the road to recovery.
133
00:05:13,468 --> 00:05:15,001
Eventually, the rat race gets us all.
134
00:05:15,002 --> 00:05:16,503
Am I right?
135
00:05:16,504 --> 00:05:17,871
Okay, it's too soon.
136
00:05:17,872 --> 00:05:20,574
We're finding that Miles
kind of lives in the moment.
137
00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:22,442
He doesn't think of consequences.
138
00:05:22,443 --> 00:05:25,312
Well, you know, we're going
through some changes at home,
139
00:05:25,313 --> 00:05:26,546
and he is 12 years old.
140
00:05:26,547 --> 00:05:29,282
There's lots of hormones
splashing around in there.
141
00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:30,851
Well, it can be a difficult time.
142
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,887
FYI, parental body-shaming at this age
143
00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:35,589
can have lasting negative effects.
144
00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:37,157
So you might want to watch that.
145
00:05:37,158 --> 00:05:39,526
Oh, no, I wasn't...
We don't body-shame.
146
00:05:39,527 --> 00:05:42,129
We actually don't even talk
to him about his body at all.
147
00:05:42,130 --> 00:05:44,898
So he's often left to
figure things out on his own?
148
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,035
Now, do you two argue in front of Miles?
149
00:05:49,036 --> 00:05:51,438
- I'm sure we've had disagreements in front of him.
- Mm...
150
00:05:51,439 --> 00:05:54,741
But nothing big. Like, no yelling
or screaming or anything like that.
151
00:05:54,742 --> 00:05:55,842
Right, honey?
152
00:05:55,843 --> 00:05:57,778
No. No, no. We don't scream or yell.
153
00:05:57,779 --> 00:05:59,413
If we feel like yelling,
154
00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:02,115
we just stuff it down and get silent.
155
00:06:03,818 --> 00:06:05,652
You're doing an awful
lot of writing, there.
156
00:06:05,653 --> 00:06:08,221
Just making a few notes for my files.
157
00:06:08,222 --> 00:06:10,357
- Nothing to worry about.
- Oh, I'm not worried.
158
00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:14,528
Did you just write that I'm not worried?
159
00:06:14,529 --> 00:06:16,396
Hmm.
160
00:06:20,301 --> 00:06:22,702
Uncle Buck, this is amazing.
161
00:06:22,703 --> 00:06:25,806
I'm playing two video games
and drinking hard soda.
162
00:06:25,807 --> 00:06:27,474
Go ahead, drink another Red Bull.
163
00:06:27,475 --> 00:06:28,742
You ain't got to drive.
164
00:06:28,743 --> 00:06:30,911
Tonight's all about the
stuff that you're gonna lose
165
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,145
when the warden gets home.
166
00:06:32,146 --> 00:06:33,980
- Can I swear?
- Within reason.
167
00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:36,183
- Ass.
- Ooh, that's the sweet spot.
168
00:06:36,184 --> 00:06:38,251
- Can I say the "S" word?
- Huh?
169
00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:40,554
- Stupid!
- Oh, I like that.
170
00:06:40,555 --> 00:06:42,255
You zigged, then you zagged.
171
00:06:42,256 --> 00:06:43,390
Are you sure this party
172
00:06:43,391 --> 00:06:45,358
is a good message to be sending Miles?
173
00:06:45,359 --> 00:06:46,960
You don't know what it's like to be
174
00:06:46,961 --> 00:06:48,962
a teenager that gets
in trouble all the time.
175
00:06:48,963 --> 00:06:50,497
I do. And I'm here to tell you...
176
00:06:50,498 --> 00:06:52,766
I'm your ghetto Jimmy the Cricket.
177
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,101
It's "Jiminy," and I don't
think he lived in the city.
178
00:06:55,102 --> 00:06:57,204
Look, I think you're
going about this all wrong,
179
00:06:57,205 --> 00:06:58,805
and I don't want to be a part of...
180
00:06:58,806 --> 00:07:00,640
Hey, that's my jam!
181
00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:01,641
- Yes!
- Yeah!
182
00:07:01,642 --> 00:07:03,677
That's what I'm talking about.
183
00:07:03,678 --> 00:07:05,542
But that doesn't mean
I'm endorsing this party.
184
00:07:05,543 --> 00:07:07,314
Oh, okay.
185
00:07:07,315 --> 00:07:11,117
Miles, it's too loud! It's
making my heart attack.
186
00:07:11,118 --> 00:07:13,220
Turn it up louder... louder!
187
00:07:13,221 --> 00:07:15,404
So people hear it and know
where the party's at, right?
188
00:07:15,405 --> 00:07:17,858
Yes, sir. The party's over here, dude.
189
00:07:17,859 --> 00:07:19,626
No, sir, there's no party over here.
190
00:07:19,627 --> 00:07:21,661
We're having a "going to jail" party.
191
00:07:21,662 --> 00:07:23,563
Uh, don't pay no attention to her.
192
00:07:23,564 --> 00:07:25,632
She's 6 and drinks out of a sippy cup.
193
00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,734
Just keep it down, because
if we come back again,
194
00:07:27,735 --> 00:07:29,169
we'll have to issue a citation.
195
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:30,604
Uh, who snitched?
196
00:07:30,605 --> 00:07:33,507
Sorry, sir. We're not allowed
to divulge that information.
197
00:07:33,508 --> 00:07:36,843
All right. Have a good day.
198
00:07:38,713 --> 00:07:40,361
That's our creepy neighbor,
199
00:07:40,362 --> 00:07:42,626
Mr. Creepy Neighbor.
200
00:07:42,627 --> 00:07:43,350
I named him.
201
00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:45,418
He's been a jerk ever
since we moved here.
202
00:07:45,419 --> 00:07:47,354
He puts all of his leaves in our yard.
203
00:07:47,355 --> 00:07:49,356
Plus, he kicked down our nativity scene.
204
00:07:49,357 --> 00:07:51,057
He broke Baby Jesus.
205
00:07:51,058 --> 00:07:52,459
That ain't right.
206
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:54,761
Hey!
207
00:07:54,762 --> 00:07:57,497
One of the other parents just
told me Mrs. Lin is taking
208
00:07:57,498 --> 00:07:59,699
psychology classes at
the community college.
209
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,800
Can you believe that?
210
00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:02,068
Furthering her education?
211
00:08:02,069 --> 00:08:03,970
Who does she think she is?
212
00:08:03,971 --> 00:08:06,540
Let's get the torches and
drive that witch out of town.
213
00:08:06,541 --> 00:08:08,074
Not funny, honey.
214
00:08:08,075 --> 00:08:11,244
Her amateur analysis could end
up on Miles' permanent record.
215
00:08:11,245 --> 00:08:13,028
I really don't think
it's that big of a deal.
216
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:15,982
It is a big deal. Maybe that stops
him from getting into college.
217
00:08:15,983 --> 00:08:17,617
And then he befriends a criminal
218
00:08:17,618 --> 00:08:19,185
and they do robberies together.
219
00:08:19,186 --> 00:08:21,454
And because Miles is smart,
it goes well at first.
220
00:08:21,455 --> 00:08:24,157
But then the dumb friend turns
on him, and he gets arrested,
221
00:08:24,158 --> 00:08:26,793
and ends up on "Dateline,"
which is such a guilty pleasure,
222
00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:28,895
but I don't think I
would enjoy that episode.
223
00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:31,097
I'd tell you you're overreacting,
224
00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:32,691
but I think you know, right?
225
00:08:32,692 --> 00:08:35,235
I just know that we need to go
in there and straighten this out.
226
00:08:35,236 --> 00:08:36,236
"We"?
227
00:08:36,237 --> 00:08:38,138
You're right. You're
just gonna slow me down.
228
00:08:38,139 --> 00:08:39,906
Look, Alexis, I know where this goes.
229
00:08:39,907 --> 00:08:42,042
You're just gonna end
up having a confrontation
230
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,611
and we're gonna end up writing
apology letters for a week.
231
00:08:44,612 --> 00:08:47,486
Not true. I'm just gonna go in there
and have a little chitchat with her
232
00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:48,787
and work this whole thing out.
233
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:50,183
No, Alexis, come back.
234
00:08:50,184 --> 00:08:51,318
Alexis?
235
00:08:51,319 --> 00:08:53,053
Ale... Alexis!
236
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,821
What's happening?
237
00:08:54,822 --> 00:08:56,690
Damn, I never lived any place
238
00:08:56,691 --> 00:08:59,559
where you call the police
and they actually come.
239
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,761
Oh, well. I guess the party's over.
240
00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:03,229
It was fun while it lasted.
241
00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:05,298
No. We cannot let him
get away with this.
242
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:07,734
Creepy Neighbor is making
us all look like punks.
243
00:09:07,735 --> 00:09:09,603
The police have already
been here. It's done.
244
00:09:09,604 --> 00:09:12,272
If we do anything else, next
time, we're gonna get tased.
245
00:09:12,273 --> 00:09:13,773
Honey, they don't tase us.
246
00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:16,276
Now, your brother's right about
the Russell family reputation.
247
00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:17,811
- Really?
- Uh, yes, really.
248
00:09:17,812 --> 00:09:19,946
Look, let me give y'all
some street knowledge.
249
00:09:19,947 --> 00:09:22,082
When someone hits you,
you got to hit 'em back
250
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:24,017
twice as hard, or
they'll be coming back.
251
00:09:24,018 --> 00:09:26,286
They'd be riding past your
mama's house, school...
252
00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:27,921
That doesn't sound very smart.
253
00:09:27,922 --> 00:09:30,156
It's not smart. It's called revenge.
254
00:09:30,157 --> 00:09:31,725
Yeah, we're gonna be dumb.
255
00:09:31,726 --> 00:09:34,194
- Dumb! Dumb!
- That's right, kids.
256
00:09:34,195 --> 00:09:36,455
That's what I'm talking about.
257
00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:40,209
This is really dumb.
258
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:41,443
Then why are you here?
259
00:09:41,444 --> 00:09:43,812
Because I want to see something dumb.
260
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,061
Target is locked.
261
00:09:59,062 --> 00:10:01,096
Release the hound.
262
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:15,244
Ohh!
263
00:10:15,245 --> 00:10:16,311
Ohh!
264
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,281
Okay, she's on a break. Let's go.
265
00:10:19,282 --> 00:10:21,550
- That's not going.
- That's the opposite of going.
266
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:23,319
The files are right here.
267
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,154
I just want to take a
quick peek and make sure
268
00:10:25,155 --> 00:10:26,822
she didn't say anything
bad about our son.
269
00:10:26,823 --> 00:10:28,557
You can't look through her files.
270
00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:30,359
This isn't an episode of "Castle."
271
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,828
Honey, watch the door!
272
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:35,397
Look at yourself right now.
273
00:10:35,398 --> 00:10:36,932
You're picking up things with tissue.
274
00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:38,200
To avoid fingerprints.
275
00:10:38,201 --> 00:10:39,468
I know why you're doing it!
276
00:10:39,469 --> 00:10:41,136
I'm just saying, you're going too far.
277
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:42,938
I'm tired of you
acting this way, Alexis.
278
00:10:42,939 --> 00:10:45,808
You know what? Do
whatever you want. I'm out.
279
00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:47,843
Honey, you can't leave me.
280
00:10:47,844 --> 00:10:49,678
You're talking to no one.
281
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:50,679
Honey!
282
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,781
I'm the car.
283
00:10:54,751 --> 00:10:55,851
Did you read it?
284
00:10:55,852 --> 00:10:56,819
No.
285
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:57,953
- Good.
- Mm.
286
00:10:57,954 --> 00:11:00,422
- I'm proud of you.
- You did the right thing.
287
00:11:00,423 --> 00:11:01,890
- Alexis, what the hell?
- I know!
288
00:11:01,891 --> 00:11:03,659
Another parent came in and I panicked
289
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,494
and shoved a bunch of them in my purse.
290
00:11:05,495 --> 00:11:08,297
Honey, there's a crazy
amount of "R's" in this class.
291
00:11:08,298 --> 00:11:10,766
Come on. We can't get
caught with these files.
292
00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:13,569
"We"?! You said you didn't want
to have anything to do with this.
293
00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:16,638
I don't, but if you get arrested,
I'll have to do Maizy's hair.
294
00:11:19,175 --> 00:11:20,776
I laughed so hard, I peed my pants.
295
00:11:20,777 --> 00:11:22,745
- That's disgusting.
- Should I change them?
296
00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:27,549
Hey, besides her pants, we did good.
297
00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:29,284
Hell of an idea, Miles.
298
00:11:29,285 --> 00:11:32,054
Thank you. I don't know
where this stuff comes from.
299
00:11:32,055 --> 00:11:33,255
I'm blessed.
300
00:11:33,256 --> 00:11:34,356
But, Uncle Buck,
301
00:11:34,357 --> 00:11:37,026
it was your spider web
that really made it pop.
302
00:11:37,027 --> 00:11:39,261
- We work good together, like jazz.
- Yeah.
303
00:11:39,262 --> 00:11:41,797
But this is gonna be amazing
on my YouTube channel.
304
00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:43,132
My man.
305
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:45,968
And, Tia, I want to thank
you for not being a snitch,
306
00:11:45,969 --> 00:11:48,069
even though I know you was
fighting your instincts.
307
00:11:49,172 --> 00:11:51,774
Yeah, I had my finger on
speed dial to call Mom,
308
00:11:51,775 --> 00:11:53,108
but I fought the urge.
309
00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:55,210
Maybe I'm just a bad girl at heart.
310
00:11:55,211 --> 00:11:56,278
- Ooh.
- Okay...
311
00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:57,862
It's fun dancing on the edge, ain't it?
312
00:11:57,863 --> 00:11:59,048
Though, I have to say,
313
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:01,450
I'm a little worried about consequences.
314
00:12:01,451 --> 00:12:03,619
Wow. A bad girl for four whole seconds.
315
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:04,820
That's amazing.
316
00:12:04,821 --> 00:12:06,989
Look, that dude hit
us, and we hit him back.
317
00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:08,724
And if y'all had done that before,
318
00:12:08,725 --> 00:12:11,059
y'all wouldn't have had
a busted-up Baby Jesus.
319
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:15,297
Um, do you hear... that buzzing?
320
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:18,433
Yeah, I know what's buzzing...
You high on them energy drinks.
321
00:12:22,138 --> 00:12:24,907
Go! Go! Go! Go!
322
00:12:28,445 --> 00:12:30,679
Come on, I ain't scared of you.
323
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:31,947
Yeah, come on!
324
00:12:31,948 --> 00:12:33,248
Yeah!
325
00:12:33,249 --> 00:12:36,018
I don't know karate,
but I know "ca-razy."
326
00:12:36,019 --> 00:12:38,787
I ain't playing with you. Yeah.
327
00:12:38,788 --> 00:12:41,089
Come on! I ain't scared of no drone!
328
00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:56,872
How did he get it up so fast?
329
00:12:56,873 --> 00:12:59,208
He's magic! We messed with a wizard!
330
00:12:59,209 --> 00:13:01,143
Yeah, and how did he
make me sound like Maizy?
331
00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:03,145
By accurately recording your voice.
332
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:04,713
I don't scream like that.
333
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:09,585
Get that costume off that damn dog.
334
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,087
I blame Buck for this.
335
00:13:12,088 --> 00:13:13,522
For this? Really?
336
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:16,058
Yes. Where else
did Miles learn all this from?
337
00:13:16,059 --> 00:13:17,659
He acts before thinking.
338
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:18,694
Uh-huh...
339
00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:21,330
And he doesn't even
consider consequences.
340
00:13:21,331 --> 00:13:22,931
Right... And he gets himself stuck
341
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,234
in situations that
he has to dig himself out of.
342
00:13:25,235 --> 00:13:27,002
Like sitting in a janitor's closet
343
00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:29,938
with urinal cakes and
all of the "R" files?
344
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,807
Aw, damn.
345
00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:34,843
- It's me, not Buck.
- Yeah.
346
00:13:34,844 --> 00:13:36,512
I wanted to tell you earlier,
347
00:13:36,513 --> 00:13:39,248
but you had to find out
on your own, like Dorothy.
348
00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:43,018
Man, that got ugly quick.
349
00:13:43,019 --> 00:13:44,553
You didn't tell me he had drones.
350
00:13:44,554 --> 00:13:48,223
I thought he was the crazy
neighbor, not the damn CIA.
351
00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:51,126
So, according to your
"street knowledge,"
352
00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:52,895
we have to push back twice as hard.
353
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:55,297
So, what's our next move...
We burn his house down?
354
00:13:55,298 --> 00:13:56,999
We're not doing that...
355
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Are we?
356
00:13:58,001 --> 00:13:59,134
No, no, no, no, no.
357
00:13:59,135 --> 00:14:00,636
Let a brother think. Let me think.
358
00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:02,838
Come on. You know this is over.
359
00:14:02,839 --> 00:14:04,706
- Let's just quit.
- No, never quit!
360
00:14:04,707 --> 00:14:06,141
Never retreat!
361
00:14:06,142 --> 00:14:09,311
But it is late. Maizy does
have those sleepy eyes.
362
00:14:09,312 --> 00:14:13,882
Maybe we regroup and fortify
our position in the morning.
363
00:14:13,883 --> 00:14:15,784
Miles, I got our next move.
364
00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:17,820
- It's not a move.
- Defense is a move.
365
00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:19,454
Hey, I already made our move.
366
00:14:19,455 --> 00:14:21,156
Check it out. Come on, come on, come on.
367
00:14:21,157 --> 00:14:22,925
His car was unlocked,
368
00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:25,994
So I took the brake off
and put it in neutral.
369
00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:31,900
Now what?!
370
00:14:31,901 --> 00:14:32,935
Retreat!
371
00:14:32,936 --> 00:14:34,836
Go! Go!
372
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,796
Why are we in an Armenian diner?
373
00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:39,264
Well, first of all, we laying low.
374
00:14:39,265 --> 00:14:41,257
Second of all, I like lamb.
375
00:14:41,258 --> 00:14:43,392
So we're eating lamb
and we're on the lam.
376
00:14:43,393 --> 00:14:45,524
Uncle Buck, I'm in your head.
377
00:14:45,525 --> 00:14:47,225
Look, Miles...
378
00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:50,295
Take Maizy over there to the claw
machine and get out of my head.
379
00:14:50,296 --> 00:14:52,698
Here, take these quarters.
380
00:14:52,699 --> 00:14:55,267
I told your mama to get pre-natal care.
381
00:14:55,268 --> 00:14:58,203
Look, you need to say something
to Miles about what happened.
382
00:14:58,204 --> 00:14:59,504
That was bad.
383
00:14:59,505 --> 00:15:01,809
Hey, I was trying to make the
boy feel good about himself.
384
00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:03,575
By slamming a car into a pole?
385
00:15:03,576 --> 00:15:05,611
Look, I know you guys
are two peas in a pod,
386
00:15:05,612 --> 00:15:07,946
but one of the peas isn't
telling the whole story.
387
00:15:07,947 --> 00:15:10,682
Wait a minute. I'm a pea?
388
00:15:10,683 --> 00:15:12,517
I ain't no pea. I'm a man.
389
00:15:12,518 --> 00:15:14,586
Even you have to admit,
390
00:15:14,587 --> 00:15:16,755
being Buck hasn't always been easy.
391
00:15:16,756 --> 00:15:20,626
True. I've had my ups and
downs, my profits and my losses.
392
00:15:20,627 --> 00:15:23,328
- Your arrests and releases.
- Allegedly.
393
00:15:23,329 --> 00:15:25,430
That's why I'm here with you kids...
394
00:15:25,431 --> 00:15:28,166
'cause I'm really trying
to do better for myself.
395
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,802
Trying to become Buck 2.0.
396
00:15:30,803 --> 00:15:34,339
Yeah, but you're only teaching
Miles how to do Buck 1.0.
397
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:36,174
I'm glad that you're living with us,
398
00:15:36,175 --> 00:15:38,210
and it's good that
Miles looks up to you.
399
00:15:38,211 --> 00:15:40,512
But please fix this so that
Miles isn't living with me
400
00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:43,815
in his 40s, making torch
s'mores with my children.
401
00:15:43,816 --> 00:15:46,518
Wait. You're getting
a little too dramatic.
402
00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:48,654
Hey, Uncle Buck,
look what I got Maizy to do!
403
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:51,490
Look at me! I'm a prize!
404
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,531
- Hurry up.
- Okay.
405
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,967
What are you doing?
406
00:16:01,968 --> 00:16:03,502
They're not even alphabetized.
407
00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:04,936
The "L" is next to the "E"?
408
00:16:04,937 --> 00:16:06,705
I mean, and they're judging our son?
409
00:16:06,706 --> 00:16:09,307
Miles might be compulsive,
but he does know his alphabet.
410
00:16:09,308 --> 00:16:11,443
- Alexis. Alexi...
- Hello, there.
411
00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:13,078
Hello.
412
00:16:13,079 --> 00:16:14,746
What's going on here?
413
00:16:14,747 --> 00:16:17,015
Well, the "R" files...
414
00:16:17,016 --> 00:16:19,651
I took them because
I was gonna read them
415
00:16:19,652 --> 00:16:21,755
because I wanted to know
what you wrote about our son
416
00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:24,489
but I didn't and I'm returning
them because I felt bad.
417
00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:27,426
And I now realize where Miles
gets his compulsiveness from.
418
00:16:27,427 --> 00:16:29,261
But you know what?
419
00:16:29,262 --> 00:16:31,430
We're gonna work on it,
and we're gonna do better.
420
00:16:31,431 --> 00:16:32,931
You can read the file if you want.
421
00:16:32,932 --> 00:16:34,766
- Oh, I mean, if you insist. I mean...
- No!
422
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:35,867
We're good.
423
00:16:35,868 --> 00:16:38,170
- Thank you.
- Come on.
424
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,472
Mnh, mnh, mnh.
425
00:16:40,473 --> 00:16:42,507
Don't judge me, Karen.
426
00:16:42,508 --> 00:16:44,768
I saw you how much you drank
at that school fundraiser.
427
00:16:47,013 --> 00:16:49,214
We're seriously doing this?
428
00:16:49,215 --> 00:16:51,850
Yeah. It's the right thing to do.
429
00:16:51,851 --> 00:16:55,020
Come on, Uncle Buck. This isn't us.
430
00:16:55,021 --> 00:16:56,421
What about our rep?
431
00:16:56,422 --> 00:16:58,757
Okay, the thing about a rep is,
432
00:16:58,758 --> 00:17:01,359
- you got to take it to the edge.
- I know.
433
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,295
Here's what you don't know...
434
00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:06,465
When you do that, sometimes
you got to burn a bridge.
435
00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:08,834
I've been burning bridges all my life.
436
00:17:08,835 --> 00:17:10,135
Girlfriends, jobs...
437
00:17:10,136 --> 00:17:12,170
I actually burnt a real bridge.
438
00:17:12,171 --> 00:17:14,206
Sounds awesome.
439
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,975
It was. And then it wasn't.
440
00:17:16,976 --> 00:17:18,977
You know, if you do stuff like that,
441
00:17:18,978 --> 00:17:21,480
the only rep you get is
people don't trust you.
442
00:17:21,481 --> 00:17:23,882
- My mom and dad trust you with us.
- Exactly.
443
00:17:23,883 --> 00:17:26,585
And this is my last bridge,
and I ain't burning it.
444
00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:27,786
So let's go.
445
00:17:27,787 --> 00:17:29,454
I'm a little scared.
446
00:17:29,455 --> 00:17:32,257
So am I. This is my first
time doing this, too.
447
00:17:32,258 --> 00:17:34,259
But we're gonna do it together,
448
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:36,261
'cause maybe Mr. Creepy's cool.
449
00:17:36,262 --> 00:17:37,729
Might make a new friend.
450
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:39,965
I accept your apology.
451
00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,568
I'll send you an
estimate for the damage.
452
00:17:43,569 --> 00:17:46,771
All right. Cool.
453
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:51,243
Hey, but know this...
454
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,512
If you ever step to me again,
455
00:17:53,513 --> 00:17:56,615
I'll come at you
like a tornado full of hate.
456
00:17:58,417 --> 00:17:59,785
That was a good lesson.
457
00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:02,687
But next time, we'll just
leave a note and some cash.
458
00:18:02,688 --> 00:18:04,623
- We learnin' here.
- Yeah.
459
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:08,093
Great. Now my mom and
dad are back from school.
460
00:18:08,094 --> 00:18:10,428
Guess it's time to get my sentence.
461
00:18:10,429 --> 00:18:11,797
You'll get through it.
462
00:18:11,798 --> 00:18:14,065
I'll send you a letter and
put some money on your books.
463
00:18:14,066 --> 00:18:15,200
You coming with me?
464
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:17,435
Nah, you gonna walk
that green mile alone.
465
00:18:20,106 --> 00:18:21,506
Dead man walking.
466
00:18:21,507 --> 00:18:23,141
- Really?
- Really.
467
00:18:25,077 --> 00:18:27,045
Two days for the rodent bloodbath,
468
00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:29,147
and a week for Creepy Neighbor's car.
469
00:18:29,148 --> 00:18:31,349
- So seven days?
- Nine.
470
00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:34,886
I was thinking about business
days. But still not bad.
471
00:18:34,887 --> 00:18:36,822
Baby, it should have been a month,
472
00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:38,957
but you know what I realized tonight?
473
00:18:38,958 --> 00:18:42,060
You and I have a lot in common,
and we both need to promise
474
00:18:42,061 --> 00:18:45,197
that we think about consequences
before we do crazy things.
475
00:18:45,198 --> 00:18:47,065
What crazy thing did you do?
476
00:18:47,066 --> 00:18:48,967
Never mind. Just promise.
477
00:18:48,968 --> 00:18:50,669
I promise.
478
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:51,937
Thank you.
479
00:18:51,938 --> 00:18:53,805
Right here, bring it in.
480
00:18:53,806 --> 00:18:56,708
- Mm, I love you, Son.
- Love you, Mom.
481
00:19:04,617 --> 00:19:08,420
Ooh, that boy is twisted.
482
00:19:08,421 --> 00:19:09,788
You guys really did it up.
483
00:19:09,789 --> 00:19:11,923
Seriously, we were only gone two hours.
484
00:19:11,924 --> 00:19:13,992
Yeah, that part only took 20 minutes.
485
00:19:13,993 --> 00:19:15,760
We was on the run for the rest.
486
00:19:15,761 --> 00:19:17,896
Hey, so what was it like in that house?
487
00:19:17,897 --> 00:19:21,466
Whew, dark, man. Smelled
like soup and murder in there.
488
00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:22,930
You got everything settled with him?
489
00:19:22,931 --> 00:19:23,802
Oh, yeah. We cool.
490
00:19:23,803 --> 00:19:26,504
Yeah. E-E-Everything's cool.
491
00:19:34,146 --> 00:19:35,380
Ooh, ooh, unh!
492
00:19:39,296 --> 00:19:41,000
Maizy brought her
picture home from school.
493
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:43,355
- Have you seen it?
- No, we were so busy with Miles,
494
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:45,061
we didn't even make
it to her conference.
495
00:19:45,062 --> 00:19:46,263
Check it out.
496
00:19:46,264 --> 00:19:47,264
Whoa.
497
00:19:47,265 --> 00:19:50,298
Oh, my God! That is vivid.
498
00:19:50,299 --> 00:19:52,701
- Mm-hmm.
- Is that a school bus on fire?
499
00:19:52,702 --> 00:19:55,670
No, I think it's just basking
in the sun rays, honey.
500
00:19:55,671 --> 00:19:57,772
What are y'all talking
about? That's a fire.
501
00:19:57,773 --> 00:20:00,008
You don't see the children
running from the bus?
502
00:20:00,009 --> 00:20:01,810
What kids run from the sunshine? Look!
503
00:20:01,811 --> 00:20:04,379
Plus, that is definitely
Maizy on the back of a dragon.
504
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,247
That's just one interpretation, honey.
505
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,383
Y'all are paying
attention to the wrong kid.
506
00:20:08,384 --> 00:20:10,418
That little girl's
who I'd keep my eye on.
507
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:13,555
- She done lost her...
- Are you guys looking at my picture?
38054
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