All language subtitles for K.C. Undercover - 02x20 - Undercover Mother.TVVersion.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com
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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:05,307
I can't find my French book anywhere.
3
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:08,776
Probably because you take Spanish.
4
00:00:08,778 --> 00:00:10,679
That explains it.
5
00:00:12,348 --> 00:00:14,715
Don't look now. Here comes Alexis.
6
00:00:14,718 --> 00:00:16,518
I can't stand that girl.
7
00:00:16,519 --> 00:00:19,286
- Hi, KC.
- Hey, girl.
8
00:00:19,289 --> 00:00:21,289
So... did you hear?
9
00:00:21,291 --> 00:00:24,192
The school's top student
is being interviewed by
10
00:00:24,193 --> 00:00:26,260
Scholastic Accomplishments Quarterly.
11
00:00:26,263 --> 00:00:28,230
Scholastic Accomplishments Quarterly?
12
00:00:28,231 --> 00:00:31,432
That is, like, the quarterly publication
for scholastic accomplishments.
13
00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:33,301
I have been dying to get that interview.
14
00:00:33,302 --> 00:00:34,201
Thank you for the heads up.
15
00:00:34,204 --> 00:00:37,338
Ooh, this is awkward.
16
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,441
They're actually interviewing me.
17
00:00:39,442 --> 00:00:42,411
Sorry. Thought you knew.
18
00:00:45,615 --> 00:00:49,951
Wait, so you just click-clacked all the
way over here to rub it in her face?
19
00:00:49,953 --> 00:00:54,322
Why can't you just post your
brags online like everyone else?
20
00:00:54,323 --> 00:00:56,390
Let me just get this straight.
21
00:00:56,393 --> 00:00:58,359
Um, they decided to interview the student
22
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,228
with the second-highest GPS in the school?
23
00:01:00,229 --> 00:01:01,762
No, the first.
24
00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:05,867
Turns out I'm actually the smartest
student in the entire DC-Metro area.
25
00:01:05,868 --> 00:01:08,736
Well, if that were true, you would know
26
00:01:08,739 --> 00:01:12,406
that I am the smartest student
in the entire DC-Metro area.
27
00:01:12,409 --> 00:01:15,376
Tell it to Scholastic
Accomplishments Quarterly.
28
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,944
Oh, that's right.
29
00:01:16,947 --> 00:01:18,579
They don't wanna talk to you.
30
00:01:22,585 --> 00:01:25,287
Well, are you sure you're
not being interviewed by
31
00:01:25,289 --> 00:01:28,423
Obnoxious Accomplishments Quarterly?
32
00:01:28,424 --> 00:01:30,692
Why do you let her get to you like that?
33
00:01:30,694 --> 00:01:32,760
She's been driving you crazy
since we were little kids.
34
00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:34,896
I have my reasons.
35
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:38,599
Nice turkey, KC.
36
00:01:38,602 --> 00:01:41,002
- Thanks, Alexis.
- Just not as nice as mine.
37
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,740
Are those real feathers?
38
00:01:45,741 --> 00:01:46,908
Mm-hmm.
39
00:01:46,909 --> 00:01:49,911
(Shrieking) My boa.
40
00:01:49,912 --> 00:01:52,480
I've been de-plumed.
41
00:01:53,716 --> 00:01:56,784
Nobody plucks my best friend's feathers.
42
00:01:56,787 --> 00:01:59,020
You're going down.
43
00:02:00,822 --> 00:02:02,823
I'm not letting her get away with this.
44
00:02:02,825 --> 00:02:04,825
I'm going to the principal, because
I know I have a higher GPA than her,
45
00:02:04,828 --> 00:02:06,495
and I'm getting that interview.
46
00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:08,729
Are you sure you wanna
be in the nerd report?
47
00:02:08,731 --> 00:02:11,500
Hint: If you want a social
life, the answer is no.
48
00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:16,437
Okay. Good-bye to you, too.
49
00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:17,906
I swear, it's like no one listens to me.
50
00:02:17,908 --> 00:02:19,774
Every time I have something to say...
51
00:02:19,776 --> 00:02:21,475
(Theme song begins playing)
52
00:02:21,478 --> 00:02:24,979
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
53
00:02:24,981 --> 00:02:27,949
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
54
00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:31,853
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪
55
00:02:31,854 --> 00:02:36,091
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
56
00:02:36,093 --> 00:02:40,094
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
57
00:02:40,097 --> 00:02:41,930
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
58
00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:45,933
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
59
00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:49,937
♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪
60
00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:51,939
♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪
61
00:02:51,942 --> 00:02:54,109
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪
62
00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:56,645
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
63
00:02:56,646 --> 00:02:58,680
♪ But I always got your back ♪
64
00:02:58,682 --> 00:03:00,681
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
65
00:03:00,683 --> 00:03:02,850
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
66
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:05,586
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
67
00:03:05,588 --> 00:03:07,055
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
68
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,490
I keep it undercover.
69
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:10,491
I keep it undercover.
70
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,365
So I reviewed my transcript
with the principal,
71
00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:20,669
and it turns out I do have
a higher GPA than she does.
72
00:03:20,670 --> 00:03:23,471
So I will be meeting with a
reporter from the magazine tomorrow.
73
00:03:23,473 --> 00:03:25,539
I was right.
74
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:27,741
May I remind you, we're spies.
75
00:03:27,743 --> 00:03:30,412
We go undercover, not on the cover.
76
00:03:30,413 --> 00:03:31,680
You can't do that interview.
77
00:03:31,681 --> 00:03:33,514
Ernie, I earned it, okay?
78
00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:35,383
I'm not gonna give it up.
79
00:03:35,384 --> 00:03:36,685
You should know better than anyone.
80
00:03:36,687 --> 00:03:38,887
There should be more to
life than just being a spy.
81
00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:41,789
School means a lot to
me, and I worked hard,
82
00:03:41,792 --> 00:03:43,658
and I think I deserve to
have my work recognized.
83
00:03:43,659 --> 00:03:45,526
The Organization will never allow it.
84
00:03:45,528 --> 00:03:49,563
The Organization will never find out,
because you will keep your mouth shut.
85
00:03:49,566 --> 00:03:52,734
Look, Mom and Dad are away on a mission,
86
00:03:52,735 --> 00:03:55,437
so I'm gonna have to step
into their roles for a second.
87
00:03:55,438 --> 00:03:57,973
(Sighs)
88
00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:00,882
I know how bad you want this, buddy.
89
00:04:02,912 --> 00:04:04,979
And I know how hard you've worked.
90
00:04:04,981 --> 00:04:06,647
I do.
91
00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,984
But you've gotta cancel that interview.
92
00:04:08,985 --> 00:04:11,519
Okay, fine. I will.
93
00:04:11,521 --> 00:04:12,987
Proud of ya.
94
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:14,923
Glad we had this talk, princess.
95
00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:16,992
Okay, all right, this is weird.
96
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:28,603
C.W. Barnes, Scholastic
Accomplishments Quarterly.
97
00:04:28,605 --> 00:04:33,641
Oh. KC Cooper, scholastic
accomplishments constantly.
98
00:04:33,644 --> 00:04:35,909
I have to tell you, I'm very
excited about this interview.
99
00:04:35,911 --> 00:04:38,713
I have read every issue of your magazine.
100
00:04:38,715 --> 00:04:40,447
Yes. I am the one.
101
00:04:42,451 --> 00:04:44,819
I know what you did.
102
00:04:44,821 --> 00:04:47,822
And you know what you did.
103
00:04:49,759 --> 00:04:51,593
Well, I'm excited, too.
104
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:53,627
I think these next two days
are gonna be a lot of fun.
105
00:04:53,629 --> 00:04:55,596
Two days?
106
00:04:55,598 --> 00:04:59,600
That seems like a lot of
time for just a little blurb,
107
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,536
unless you spend the first day
and a half looking for a pen.
108
00:05:01,538 --> 00:05:03,672
Blurb? Uh, I don't think so.
109
00:05:03,673 --> 00:05:08,643
I wanna do an in-depth article, the likes
of which they have never seen before.
110
00:05:08,644 --> 00:05:11,245
For the next 48 hours,
I'm gonna be your shadow.
111
00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:14,581
Oh, really?
112
00:05:14,584 --> 00:05:19,019
Yes. I'm gonna find out where you go,
what you do, and who you do it with.
113
00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:21,122
I'm gonna uncover all of
your deepest, darkest secrets.
114
00:05:21,124 --> 00:05:26,494
I'm gonna find out everything
there is to know about KC Cooper.
115
00:05:26,495 --> 00:05:33,968
Well, um, the first thing you should
know is that KC Cooper is a fraud.
116
00:05:33,970 --> 00:05:36,271
Yeah, I am a fraud.
117
00:05:36,273 --> 00:05:40,608
A lyin', stinkin', cheatin' fraud, and
you cannot have me in your magazine.
118
00:05:40,610 --> 00:05:42,043
I don't understand.
119
00:05:42,045 --> 00:05:44,178
Neither do I. I don't understand anything.
120
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:47,148
In fact, I don't even understand
what the word understand means
121
00:05:47,149 --> 00:05:52,687
which is why I cheat, all the time,
off of this young lady here.
122
00:05:52,689 --> 00:05:55,055
This much more smarter than me lady.
123
00:05:55,057 --> 00:05:57,759
(Chuckles) That's not
even correct English,
124
00:05:57,761 --> 00:06:00,762
but I don't even know how
to speak it, 'cause I'm dumb.
125
00:06:00,764 --> 00:06:03,564
C.W., this is the person that
you need to be talking to.
126
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:06,201
Alexis, she is the... ahem...
127
00:06:06,202 --> 00:06:09,704
smartest person in our class.
128
00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:13,074
(Nervous chuckle) In
the entire DC-Metro area.
129
00:06:21,617 --> 00:06:27,122
Take it easy. The drive to a mission
shouldn't be the most dangerous part.
130
00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:28,889
I think someone's following us.
131
00:06:28,891 --> 00:06:34,896
I promise, just like on all your
social media, no one is following you.
132
00:06:34,898 --> 00:06:37,331
Then I guess I'm just
upset about that interview.
133
00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:38,665
That reporter really got in my head.
134
00:06:38,668 --> 00:06:41,069
The reporter? The reporter?!
135
00:06:41,071 --> 00:06:43,937
You mean the reporter I
told you not to talk to?
136
00:06:43,939 --> 00:06:45,606
That reporter?
137
00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,574
Why do you always think
you know better than me?
138
00:06:47,576 --> 00:06:52,713
Because 99.999% of the time,
I do know better than you.
139
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,581
I'm telling you, someone is tailing us.
140
00:06:54,584 --> 00:06:55,783
You're paranoid. Relax.
141
00:06:55,786 --> 00:06:57,584
- You relax.
- I am relaxed.
142
00:06:57,586 --> 00:07:00,754
- (Horn honking)
- (Shrieking)
143
00:07:00,757 --> 00:07:02,589
Can you relax a little quieter?
144
00:07:06,327 --> 00:07:08,663
Ernie: You need to intercept
the Other Side agent
145
00:07:08,665 --> 00:07:10,598
before he can make the drop.
146
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,166
We need that flash drive.
147
00:07:12,168 --> 00:07:13,834
Wait. Sh.
148
00:07:13,836 --> 00:07:16,103
- I think I've got a tail.
- This again?
149
00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:18,305
The targets are six blocks away.
150
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:21,276
If you've got company,
they're not on the guest list.
151
00:07:21,278 --> 00:07:24,178
You would know all about not being
on a guest list, wouldn't you?
152
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:28,783
And by the way, I have 112 followers.
153
00:07:28,785 --> 00:07:31,952
One more word and you're down to 111.
154
00:07:31,954 --> 00:07:34,254
I hear footsteps. Ernie,
I'm right about this.
155
00:07:34,257 --> 00:07:36,324
- Someone is following me.
- Yes, KC, we know.
156
00:07:36,326 --> 00:07:38,793
You're always right. Now get outta there.
157
00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:43,398
Yeah, that's right.
158
00:07:43,399 --> 00:07:44,932
Eat dirt, scuzzball.
159
00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:46,668
You are dealing with the youngest
160
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:49,036
senior junior secret
agent in the Organization.
161
00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:55,877
Can I quote you on that, KC?
162
00:08:03,685 --> 00:08:07,654
What were you saying about being
the youngest junior secret what?
163
00:08:07,656 --> 00:08:09,656
Wow.
164
00:08:09,658 --> 00:08:11,959
You must've hit the ground pretty hard,
165
00:08:11,961 --> 00:08:16,697
because, uh, I don't know what you're
talking about, or why you're even here.
166
00:08:16,699 --> 00:08:19,701
Call it reporter's intuition,
but you were acting weird.
167
00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:21,369
I thought there was more to the story.
168
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,704
Now I am sure of it.
169
00:08:22,706 --> 00:08:24,172
Get rid of him.
170
00:08:24,173 --> 00:08:25,906
The targets are in range.
171
00:08:25,908 --> 00:08:28,076
Uh, you know what? Let's talk later.
172
00:08:28,077 --> 00:08:29,744
This isn't really a safe place.
173
00:08:29,745 --> 00:08:33,147
Oh, so it's safe for you, but not for me.
174
00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:35,149
Now I'm really intrigued.
175
00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:36,783
Okay, look out.
176
00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,688
Sweet dreams.
177
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:54,369
Sorry, C-Dubs.
178
00:09:03,312 --> 00:09:05,113
I'll take that flash drive.
179
00:09:05,115 --> 00:09:06,748
Thank you very much.
180
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,750
All right, C-Dubs.
181
00:09:08,751 --> 00:09:10,784
Let's roll.
182
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:16,890
Okay, we'll go on three, all right?
183
00:09:16,893 --> 00:09:19,994
One, two...
184
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:25,767
Three.
185
00:09:25,769 --> 00:09:27,368
I said we go on three.
186
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:29,303
That would be the number after two.
187
00:09:29,306 --> 00:09:31,272
You should've listened to me.
188
00:09:31,274 --> 00:09:33,774
I told you not to mess
around with this interview.
189
00:09:33,777 --> 00:09:35,909
I told you, I told you, I told you.
190
00:09:35,912 --> 00:09:38,913
Will you stop telling me you told
me and help me get him in here?
191
00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:41,149
Ready? On three.
192
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:45,820
One, two, three.
193
00:09:47,489 --> 00:09:49,090
What? I said three.
194
00:09:49,091 --> 00:09:51,225
I know. You got all up in my head.
195
00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:54,261
Just get in the van, please.
196
00:10:03,404 --> 00:10:07,908
Can you just admit for once you
wouldn't be in this situation
197
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:09,811
if you had done what I told you?!
198
00:10:09,812 --> 00:10:12,913
He wouldn't know you exist, and he
definitely wouldn't have followed you
199
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,216
on your top-secret mission.
200
00:10:15,217 --> 00:10:19,320
Now, what do you suggest we do
with this guy when he wakes up?
201
00:10:41,943 --> 00:10:46,813
So up until I was, I don't know, three
years old, I thought it was A-B-Z's.
202
00:10:46,816 --> 00:10:49,116
Oh, man, kids can be so dumb.
203
00:10:49,119 --> 00:10:51,818
Even the really smart ones.
204
00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:54,422
Um... what are we doing here?
205
00:10:54,423 --> 00:10:56,823
Apparently putting you to sleep.
206
00:10:56,826 --> 00:10:58,926
Uh, no, no.
207
00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:00,528
No, wait, I followed you.
208
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,931
No, you came up to me earlier and asked
if we could meet here for the interview
209
00:11:03,932 --> 00:11:06,466
and then you insisted on
getting the Hawaiian pizza,
210
00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:08,269
which you will pay the price for later
211
00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:10,370
when it feels like you've
been slammed up against a van.
212
00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:13,908
It'll make sense, trust me.
213
00:11:13,909 --> 00:11:16,878
Uh, well, I don't remember any of that,
214
00:11:16,879 --> 00:11:20,914
but I guess we should start the interview.
215
00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,616
Or continue it.
216
00:11:22,619 --> 00:11:24,152
Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
217
00:11:24,153 --> 00:11:26,453
Ask away. I am an open book.
218
00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:28,523
I have no secrets whatsoever.
219
00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:31,958
So tell me, did you always
wanna be a journalist?
220
00:11:31,961 --> 00:11:34,495
Absolutely.
221
00:11:34,496 --> 00:11:38,131
When I was five, I did my
first investigative report.
222
00:11:38,134 --> 00:11:42,102
"Mall Santas: Lap of
luxury or knees of disease?"
223
00:11:42,105 --> 00:11:45,338
Mmm, interesting. Please go on.
224
00:11:49,211 --> 00:11:52,379
You should've seen it. I
played him like a fiddle.
225
00:11:52,381 --> 00:11:55,015
If there's one thing I learned
from being friends with you,
226
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,984
it's that people love
to talk about themselves.
227
00:11:56,985 --> 00:12:01,254
So I managed to finish the interview
without giving up any real information,
228
00:12:01,256 --> 00:12:04,024
and I still get the recognition I deserve.
229
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,225
Take that, Alexis.
230
00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:06,894
(Scoffs)
231
00:12:06,895 --> 00:12:09,263
Uh, I saw that.
232
00:12:09,264 --> 00:12:11,231
- Saw what?
- You rolled your eyes.
233
00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:14,668
Well, I had to roll them,
or else I would fall asleep.
234
00:12:14,671 --> 00:12:19,039
How many times are we gonna talk about
this Alexis and Who Cares quarterly?
235
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,942
Could you not mock and criticize
me for once in your life?
236
00:12:21,945 --> 00:12:23,945
When have I ever criticized you?
237
00:12:23,947 --> 00:12:25,913
I don't know. Our entire friendship.
238
00:12:25,914 --> 00:12:30,985
Where is the sparkly unicorn
vest I laid out for you?
239
00:12:30,986 --> 00:12:32,953
You cannot wear flannel on Picture Day.
240
00:12:32,956 --> 00:12:35,423
Why? It never goes out of style.
241
00:12:35,424 --> 00:12:38,359
Because it's never been in
style. You can't wear that.
242
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,195
Not only will I wear flannel today.
243
00:12:41,197 --> 00:12:44,698
I will wear flannel every
day for the rest of my life.
244
00:12:44,701 --> 00:12:45,932
What about when you get married?
245
00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:48,568
Flannel veil.
246
00:12:48,571 --> 00:12:51,605
Oh, so you're blaming
your lack of style on me?
247
00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:54,107
- Is that what this is about?
- I'm stylish.
248
00:12:54,110 --> 00:12:56,210
Ish.
249
00:12:56,211 --> 00:12:59,947
Look, this is about you supporting me,
which apparently is just too much to ask.
250
00:12:59,948 --> 00:13:01,982
- KC.
- I don't wanna fight.
251
00:13:01,985 --> 00:13:05,153
I'm just kind of stressed out because
of this interview, but you know what?
252
00:13:05,154 --> 00:13:07,154
At least it's over.
253
00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:10,323
KC, there you are. I wanna set up
a time to interview your parents.
254
00:13:10,326 --> 00:13:12,559
Uh, what do you mean by parents?
255
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:16,096
I mean the people who raised you.
256
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:19,000
Oh, that's impossible,
'cause my dad's out of town.
257
00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,467
Then I can wait till he gets back.
258
00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:23,070
He's an astronaut.
259
00:13:24,239 --> 00:13:26,139
It could be months.
260
00:13:26,142 --> 00:13:27,975
Then your mom.
261
00:13:27,976 --> 00:13:30,443
She has
outta-house-aphobia.
262
00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:35,182
That is the fear of being out of the house.
263
00:13:35,184 --> 00:13:37,985
Well, then, I will come to her.
264
00:13:37,986 --> 00:13:39,586
All right? See you this afternoon.
265
00:13:39,588 --> 00:13:41,154
Okay.
266
00:13:41,157 --> 00:13:45,125
Outta-house-aphobia?
267
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,528
How are you the smartest
person in our school?
268
00:13:51,299 --> 00:13:54,100
(Knocking on door)
269
00:13:54,102 --> 00:13:56,169
Hello. Anybody home? Mrs. Cooper?
270
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:58,572
- Hello.
- Coming.
271
00:14:01,743 --> 00:14:04,144
Hello, hello, hello.
272
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,714
I am Kira Cooper, KC's mother.
273
00:14:06,716 --> 00:14:08,349
How ya feelin'? What's the dealie?
274
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,518
Whazzup?!
275
00:14:10,519 --> 00:14:13,520
Oh, I'm sorry. I know that
is old-timey expressions.
276
00:14:13,523 --> 00:14:15,056
How do you young kids say it nowadays?
277
00:14:15,057 --> 00:14:17,024
Uh... hi.
278
00:14:17,025 --> 00:14:19,493
You kids and your crazy slang.
279
00:14:19,495 --> 00:14:21,662
Come on.
280
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:24,164
It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cooper.
281
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,735
And can I just say, you look so
young to have a teenage daughter.
282
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,471
You know what? The secret is clean living.
283
00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:33,039
And lots and lots and lots of makeup.
284
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:35,442
I mean, under here, I am an old hag.
285
00:14:36,337 --> 00:14:38,178
So you're doing a little
article about my baby?
286
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,147
Yes.
287
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,183
Ernie!
288
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,552
What are you doing here?
289
00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:47,120
I live here.
290
00:14:47,123 --> 00:14:50,524
Well, don't just stand there, my son.
291
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:52,525
Your what?!
292
00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:56,230
Give your mama some sugar. Come here now.
293
00:14:56,231 --> 00:14:58,231
(Whispering) I am this
close to getting my article.
294
00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:00,067
You better not mess it up for me.
295
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:02,436
Oh! Look at my little boy.
296
00:15:02,437 --> 00:15:04,238
All right, so where were we?
297
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,106
We were waiting for KC.
298
00:15:06,109 --> 00:15:08,542
We don't have to wait
for her; she's boring.
299
00:15:08,543 --> 00:15:10,745
I think she should be here.
300
00:15:10,746 --> 00:15:12,446
Well, you know what?
301
00:15:12,447 --> 00:15:14,782
She's actually at NASA
waiting for her father.
302
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,183
Could be months.
303
00:15:17,186 --> 00:15:19,720
Actually, Mother, KC is back.
304
00:15:19,721 --> 00:15:21,087
She's right upstairs.
305
00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:26,259
KC always has to be right... upstairs.
306
00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,229
You're mistaken, dear.
307
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:31,731
Don't forget, you're still not too
old to get a little spanking.
308
00:15:31,734 --> 00:15:33,466
Nope. She just texted me.
309
00:15:33,469 --> 00:15:35,568
Should I text her and
tell her to come on down?
310
00:15:35,571 --> 00:15:37,370
(Stammering) You know what?
311
00:15:37,373 --> 00:15:40,140
That won't be necessary.
I will be right back.
312
00:15:40,143 --> 00:15:41,241
With KC?
313
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:42,777
(Angrily) Yes, with KC.
314
00:15:43,879 --> 00:15:48,215
I mean, you hope for two geniuses, but
this one is just not that bright.
315
00:15:56,258 --> 00:15:57,725
KC's right upstairs.
316
00:15:57,726 --> 00:15:59,527
He is lucky that I am not his mother.
317
00:16:11,306 --> 00:16:12,807
Oh, hey, C.W.
318
00:16:12,808 --> 00:16:14,174
My mom said you needed me. What's up?
319
00:16:14,177 --> 00:16:15,375
I need both of you actually.
320
00:16:15,378 --> 00:16:19,447
Oh, well, she's upstairs, and I
only have a few minutes, you know.
321
00:16:19,448 --> 00:16:21,548
So much homework, so little time.
322
00:16:21,551 --> 00:16:23,216
Go ahead. Ask away.
323
00:16:23,219 --> 00:16:25,452
Uh, okay.
324
00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:27,687
Would you say you inherited your
work ethic from your parents?
325
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,557
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
326
00:16:29,558 --> 00:16:32,726
My parents have always encouraged
me to be the best I can be.
327
00:16:32,729 --> 00:16:34,361
I'm sure my mom would agree.
328
00:16:34,364 --> 00:16:36,931
But why leave it to chance?
329
00:16:36,932 --> 00:16:40,167
Why not go get her?
330
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:44,304
I'm sure it'll be nice for C.W. to
talk to both of you at the same time.
331
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,874
Maybe even take a picture of both of you.
332
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:50,811
- Together.
- That would be great.
333
00:16:50,812 --> 00:16:53,547
Mmm, wouldn't it? I'll be right back.
334
00:16:57,952 --> 00:17:00,354
♪ Mommy's home! ♪
335
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,924
Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
336
00:17:04,926 --> 00:17:07,961
I was at... plastic surgery.
337
00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:12,199
Which is why I look so young.
338
00:17:12,201 --> 00:17:14,234
But don't put that in your article.
339
00:17:14,237 --> 00:17:16,403
That is off the record, mister.
340
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,373
Who's this?
341
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:21,909
Oh, I'm KC's mother.
342
00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:26,212
Then who's that?
343
00:17:26,214 --> 00:17:30,851
KC's other mother.
344
00:17:30,853 --> 00:17:33,586
KC has two moms?
345
00:17:33,588 --> 00:17:35,990
Looks like it.
346
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:46,366
I didn't realize KC had two moms.
347
00:17:46,368 --> 00:17:48,903
Neither did she.
348
00:17:50,505 --> 00:17:53,406
Well, it's not like when I was a teenager.
349
00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:58,311
There's lots of ways to
make a family nowadays.
350
00:17:59,681 --> 00:18:01,981
Can I talk to you outside for a second?
351
00:18:01,983 --> 00:18:04,384
This one is so pushy.
352
00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:10,356
One second.
353
00:18:10,358 --> 00:18:12,026
What the heck do you think you're doing?
354
00:18:12,028 --> 00:18:13,993
Why would you come over here
and pretend to be my mother?
355
00:18:13,996 --> 00:18:17,298
You told me I don't support
you, so I came to support you.
356
00:18:17,299 --> 00:18:20,433
That's actually really sweet. Thank you.
357
00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:22,336
Now get outta here before
you ruin everything.
358
00:18:24,405 --> 00:18:28,275
I'm sorry. Just to clarify,
KC lives here with you two?
359
00:18:28,277 --> 00:18:30,009
- Her moms?
- Yeah, so?
360
00:18:30,011 --> 00:18:31,612
Just a little surprised.
361
00:18:31,614 --> 00:18:34,448
Why? 'Cause I'm white?
362
00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:36,349
No. No.
363
00:18:36,352 --> 00:18:40,320
Because my background information says
KC lives here with her mom and her dad.
364
00:18:40,323 --> 00:18:42,021
A Craig Cooper?
365
00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:46,826
The guy that's in all the family photos
inside while you aren't in any of them.
366
00:18:46,828 --> 00:18:48,729
There's a simple
explanation for all of that.
367
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:51,332
I'm a vampire.
368
00:18:57,605 --> 00:18:59,306
A vampire?
369
00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:02,343
You, a vampire?
370
00:19:02,345 --> 00:19:06,814
Well, I know it's not as original
as having outta-house-aphobia
371
00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:09,482
while your father is stuck in space,
372
00:19:09,484 --> 00:19:12,653
but then again, I'm not
the smartest girl in school
373
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:14,989
- like you.
- Just help me drag him inside.
374
00:19:20,095 --> 00:19:22,028
I can't believe it.
375
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,696
You actually asked me to
help you with something.
376
00:19:23,699 --> 00:19:26,400
Excuse me, but what is
that supposed to mean?
377
00:19:26,402 --> 00:19:28,501
It means you never want anyone's help
378
00:19:28,503 --> 00:19:29,737
because you have to
have everything your way.
379
00:19:29,739 --> 00:19:30,871
Exactly.
380
00:19:32,973 --> 00:19:35,075
- Why am I on the floor?
- Hey, let me help you up.
381
00:19:38,747 --> 00:19:41,414
Your problem is you
always have to be right.
382
00:19:41,416 --> 00:19:43,384
Now we're having a conversation.
383
00:19:43,385 --> 00:19:45,019
Why is everybody ganging up on me?
384
00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:47,654
So you don't like that
we're challenging you?
385
00:19:47,656 --> 00:19:51,392
Probably because you're not used to it
because you always have to be right.
386
00:19:51,394 --> 00:19:55,028
And you always have to be the best...
the best student, the best athlete,
387
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:57,463
- the best fake mom.
- Okay, guys, this is crazy.
388
00:19:57,465 --> 00:20:00,634
Is it? You couldn't let
Alexis be in the magazine
389
00:20:00,635 --> 00:20:03,971
because you couldn't stand the idea of
people thinking she's better than you.
390
00:20:03,972 --> 00:20:06,440
Because she's not.
391
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:12,145
I have a teeny, tiny, slightly
higher GPA than she does.
392
00:20:12,147 --> 00:20:13,513
I don't always have to be the best.
393
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,981
It's just that...
394
00:20:14,983 --> 00:20:16,549
You usually are?
395
00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:18,419
Hey, you said it, I didn't.
396
00:20:18,421 --> 00:20:21,154
I really am confused.
397
00:20:21,156 --> 00:20:22,855
I don't know where all this
is suddenly coming from.
398
00:20:22,857 --> 00:20:26,492
- Suddenly?!
- This has been going on forever.
399
00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:29,963
KC, Marisa and I are signing
up for the talent show.
400
00:20:29,965 --> 00:20:31,832
Yeah. We've been practicing.
401
00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,400
Look what we can do. Hit it, Ernie.
402
00:20:33,402 --> 00:20:38,972
(Playing "Chopsticks" off-key)
403
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,816
That's great. I've been
practicing, too. May I?
404
00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:59,125
(Playing "Flight of the
Bumblebee" flawlessly)
405
00:21:08,569 --> 00:21:10,871
And that's how you play the piano.
406
00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:14,208
I'm not having fun anymore.
407
00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:18,612
I'm never going to try to be
good at anything ever again.
408
00:21:20,648 --> 00:21:22,482
You know what? I just realized something.
409
00:21:23,652 --> 00:21:25,885
I should've never quit piano lessons.
410
00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:28,622
I was really good.
411
00:21:28,624 --> 00:21:30,790
That's not the point of the story.
412
00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:32,625
Okay, fine.
413
00:21:32,627 --> 00:21:34,627
So sometimes I have a little itty bitty
414
00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:38,632
overwhelming need to be the
absolute best at everything I do,
415
00:21:38,634 --> 00:21:40,467
but what's wrong with
wanting to be the best?
416
00:21:40,469 --> 00:21:46,740
Nothing, but it's also not the end of the
world if sometimes, somebody else is.
417
00:21:46,741 --> 00:21:48,808
So what? I'm just supposed
to dumb myself down?
418
00:21:48,810 --> 00:21:50,576
I'm not gonna do that.
419
00:21:50,578 --> 00:21:52,112
No, we wouldn't want you to do that.
420
00:21:52,114 --> 00:21:57,050
But all of this "failure isn't an option"
stuff is really a lot of pressure.
421
00:21:57,052 --> 00:21:59,819
And when you're so focused on
beating everyone around you...
422
00:21:59,822 --> 00:22:02,655
Then I lose sight of
what's really important.
423
00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:05,659
Like the fact that I
have an amazing brother
424
00:22:05,661 --> 00:22:08,628
and best friend who are
actually very, very right.
425
00:22:08,631 --> 00:22:11,498
I'm sorry, guys, and I will work on it.
426
00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:12,932
Okay? I promise.
427
00:22:12,934 --> 00:22:14,167
Now can we go get some fro-yo?
428
00:22:14,170 --> 00:22:16,036
Sounds good.
429
00:22:16,038 --> 00:22:18,638
Ooh, better not forget this.
430
00:22:18,641 --> 00:22:21,575
Mommy loves a senior discount.
431
00:22:27,015 --> 00:22:29,982
C.W. did a really great
job with this article.
432
00:22:29,984 --> 00:22:31,684
It is very well-written.
433
00:22:31,686 --> 00:22:33,554
Best article I've read all year.
434
00:22:33,556 --> 00:22:37,124
Okay, the only article I've read all year.
435
00:22:37,125 --> 00:22:42,895
Ooh. Enjoying the article
written about... me?
436
00:22:42,897 --> 00:22:44,664
Yes, actually.
437
00:22:44,666 --> 00:22:46,633
Congrats, Alexis. Well-deserved.
438
00:22:46,634 --> 00:22:50,104
Oh. Thank you, KC.
439
00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:55,608
It's killing you, isn't it?
440
00:22:55,611 --> 00:22:57,711
A little bit.
441
00:22:59,948 --> 00:23:01,714
Rob, your name's on TV.
33726
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