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1
00:00:00,431 --> 00:00:02,833
♪♪
2
00:00:05,736 --> 00:00:06,707
Where were you
last night?
3
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,509
I was at the library
with Darien.
4
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,182
Again? You guys
are practically dating.
5
00:00:11,182 --> 00:00:13,914
World's most boring
dating, but dating.
6
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,286
Yeah, I wish, okay.
7
00:00:15,286 --> 00:00:17,388
He hasn't even
asked me out yet,
8
00:00:17,388 --> 00:00:20,251
and I don't know why because
we definitely have chemistry,
9
00:00:20,251 --> 00:00:23,294
- in fourth period,
and in person.
- ( Marisa laughs )
10
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:25,796
- Hey, KC.
- Oh, hey,
what's up, Darien?
11
00:00:25,796 --> 00:00:29,029
So I was wondering if you've
seen that new alien movie yet.
12
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,303
No, no. I'm not really
a huge sci-fi fan.
13
00:00:32,303 --> 00:00:35,506
Oh. That's too bad.
14
00:00:35,506 --> 00:00:38,869
I heard about this new
Argentinean steak place.
15
00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:40,611
It's supposed
to be great.
16
00:00:40,611 --> 00:00:42,473
Yeah, well, I'm gonna
have to take your word for it,
17
00:00:42,473 --> 00:00:44,275
because I'm
a vegetarian.
18
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,619
Oh, I forgot.
19
00:00:48,619 --> 00:00:51,422
So are there any good
vegetarian places
20
00:00:51,422 --> 00:00:53,684
you could recommend?
I'd love to try one.
21
00:00:53,684 --> 00:00:56,227
Of course,
I'd hate to eat alone.
22
00:00:56,227 --> 00:00:57,628
Yeah, for sure.
23
00:00:57,628 --> 00:00:59,590
There's a really good one
on Clark Street.
24
00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:01,492
They actually have
communal tables,
25
00:01:01,492 --> 00:01:04,165
so you can meet
a lot of interesting people.
26
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,543
Uh, okay.
So I'll just see you later.
27
00:01:12,543 --> 00:01:14,375
All right.
28
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,147
He is so cute!
29
00:01:16,147 --> 00:01:18,779
Why won't he just
ask me out already?
30
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:22,012
He just did.
Three times.
31
00:01:22,012 --> 00:01:24,815
What do you think
the movie and the steak,
32
00:01:24,815 --> 00:01:29,160
and the "where can I eat
vegetarian not alone" was about?
33
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,363
Darien, wait up!
I wanna try the steak place.
34
00:01:32,363 --> 00:01:34,525
They have salads, right?
35
00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:38,169
♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪
36
00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:41,101
♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪
37
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:45,005
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪
38
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:49,310
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
39
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:53,314
♪ Don't tell nobody,
tell nobody ♪
40
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,115
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
41
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:59,119
♪ So many things
I wanna tell you ♪
42
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:03,194
♪ But I, I, I,
I keep it undercover ♪
43
00:02:03,194 --> 00:02:05,226
♪ Livin' my life,
no way to learn ♪
44
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,428
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
45
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,860
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
46
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,902
♪ But I always
got your back ♪
47
00:02:11,902 --> 00:02:13,804
♪ Nobody can do it
like I can ♪
48
00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:16,006
♪ I gotta find out
who I am ♪
49
00:02:16,006 --> 00:02:18,669
♪ Ain't got to worry
about me ♪
50
00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:20,271
♪ It's all
part of the plan ♪
51
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,613
I keep it undercover.
52
00:02:22,613 --> 00:02:23,674
I keep it
undercover.
53
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,320
- So I'll pick you up
Saturday night?
- Yeah, yeah.
54
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,252
I'm not gonna be
picking you up,
55
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,324
you know, 'cause
you're twice my size.
56
00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:34,585
( awkward laughter )
57
00:02:34,585 --> 00:02:35,956
All right, that's cool.
58
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,131
Hey, Ernie,
how's it going?
59
00:02:41,131 --> 00:02:43,063
Me Ernie?
60
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,736
Yes, you Ernie.
61
00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:47,798
I'm good.
Thanks for asking.
62
00:02:57,648 --> 00:02:59,650
What just happened?
63
00:02:59,650 --> 00:03:03,654
It's contact
popularity.
64
00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:07,288
When a popular guy
like Darien says hi to you,
65
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,520
people think that
you're more important
66
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,161
than you really are.
67
00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:13,924
It's like you're
cool-adjacent.
68
00:03:13,924 --> 00:03:16,667
That's pathetic.
69
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:19,099
I'll take it.
70
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,174
All right, Marisa, do not
go all crazy, all right,
71
00:03:24,174 --> 00:03:28,579
but I have my first
official date with Darien
this Saturday night.
72
00:03:28,579 --> 00:03:32,443
( high-pitched
shriek )
73
00:03:34,084 --> 00:03:37,147
I'm glad you didn't
go all crazy.
74
00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:38,919
Yes, I'm
excited, too,
75
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,691
okay, but I'm also
very nervous.
76
00:03:40,691 --> 00:03:43,294
I've never really been
on a real date before.
77
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:45,256
What about when you went
to the dance with Lincoln?
78
00:03:45,256 --> 00:03:46,657
Mission.
79
00:03:46,657 --> 00:03:48,098
What about when you
went to the movies with Brett?
80
00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:49,700
Mission.
81
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,332
What about that guy
you made out with at camp?
82
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,033
He was not a mission.
83
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,336
No, he was imaginary.
84
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,867
I made him up.
85
00:03:56,867 --> 00:03:58,869
That is too bad.
86
00:03:58,869 --> 00:04:01,372
You guys really
seemed to click.
87
00:04:06,277 --> 00:04:08,549
Hey, Dad, I just
wanted to let you know
88
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,780
that I have
a date Saturday night.
89
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:11,552
Let me guess.
90
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:15,255
With the guy
from summer camp?
91
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,657
No.
92
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,229
It's a real date
with a real guy
93
00:04:19,229 --> 00:04:21,161
that actually exists.
94
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,735
Oh. Okay, well,
have fun.
95
00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:26,367
That's it?
96
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,938
You don't wanna know
anything about him
97
00:04:27,938 --> 00:04:29,740
or meet him
before we go out?
98
00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,772
KC, the last guy
you were interested in
99
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,744
tried to kill you.
100
00:04:33,744 --> 00:04:35,506
I say anyone
is a step up from that.
101
00:04:37,247 --> 00:04:38,479
( knocking at door )
102
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,787
Hi. Is this
the Cooper residence?
103
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,359
That depends.
Who's asking?
104
00:04:48,359 --> 00:04:51,161
Oh, sorry.
Hi. I'm Abby Martin.
105
00:04:51,161 --> 00:04:52,993
I just moved to D.C.
from Chicago.
106
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,665
That's great.
107
00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:57,267
So sorry I didn't
pick you up from the airport,
108
00:04:57,267 --> 00:05:00,631
probably because I don't
know who you are.
109
00:05:00,631 --> 00:05:02,803
Right. Of course
you don't,
110
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,836
because I'm a total stranger
showing up at your door.
111
00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,738
I'm originally from
Evanston,
112
00:05:07,738 --> 00:05:09,340
I'm a freshman at
Howard University,
113
00:05:09,340 --> 00:05:11,311
I live at
the Wheatley dorm,
114
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,113
and what was
the other thing?
115
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,015
Oh, yeah, I think
we might be related.
116
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,218
( clears throat )
Excuse me.
117
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,720
Could you just
back that up a little bit?
118
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,623
Oh, uh, I'm originally
from Evanston...
119
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,825
Yeah, I meant
the related part.
120
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,156
Right. Um...
121
00:05:26,156 --> 00:05:28,298
Here's the thing.
122
00:05:28,298 --> 00:05:29,660
My dad passed away
recently.
123
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,001
I never really
knew my mom.
124
00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:32,803
So I started
researching her,
125
00:05:32,803 --> 00:05:34,234
and public records
led me to you.
126
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:39,009
Oh, I'm pretty sure
I'm not your mother.
127
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:41,171
And not just because
you're older than me.
128
00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:46,747
Actually, my mom
passed away when
I was really young.
129
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,719
Totally sad, I know.
130
00:05:48,719 --> 00:05:50,050
But what can you do?
131
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,583
Guess I'm like
Little Orphan Annie
132
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:55,626
without all the fun
singing and dancing.
133
00:05:55,626 --> 00:05:58,158
Anyway...
134
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:01,632
uh, I'm actually
looking for Kira Cooper.
135
00:06:01,632 --> 00:06:03,894
Her maiden name
is King?
136
00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:05,335
I think she might be
my mother's sister.
137
00:06:05,335 --> 00:06:07,598
I'm... I'm sorry,
138
00:06:07,598 --> 00:06:10,070
but I think you
might've found
the wrong Kira Cooper,
139
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,373
'cause my mom
never had a sister.
140
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,105
But... good luck.
141
00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:18,679
Okay. Thanks.
Sorry to bother you.
142
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,311
It's all good.
143
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:22,783
Oh, hey, Mom.
144
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,515
That was
really weird.
145
00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:26,517
She was saying that
you might be her aunt,
146
00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,188
but I told her that
you didn't have a sister.
147
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,791
Actually, um...
148
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,494
we need to talk.
149
00:06:37,428 --> 00:06:38,929
I cannot believe
that I have an aunt
150
00:06:38,929 --> 00:06:40,300
that I never even
knew about.
151
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,232
How could you
keep this from me?
152
00:06:42,232 --> 00:06:44,705
- Why didn't you
tell me about this?
- KC, calm down.
153
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:47,808
I can't believe
you have a sister
that I never knew about.
154
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,910
Why wouldn't you
tell me this?
155
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,643
Why would you
keep this from me?
156
00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:54,915
I think we're missing
the big picture here.
157
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,688
I have a late aunt
who may have left me
a small fortune.
158
00:06:57,688 --> 00:07:01,221
Will you all
be quiet and
let me explain?
159
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,924
Sit down.
160
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,227
Kira said her sister
was the black sheep
of the family.
161
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,800
- Judy!
- What?
162
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,862
You were taking too long,
so I accessed the files.
163
00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:13,263
This is my story
to tell.
164
00:07:13,263 --> 00:07:15,435
Let's move it along,
shall we?
165
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,970
Anyway, my sister
Erica and I
166
00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:21,842
really never got along.
167
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,974
Didn't have that in
your files, did you, Judy?
168
00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:26,146
Actually, I did,
169
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,849
I just didn't think
it was my place
170
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,652
to bring up
your personal business.
171
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,854
As I was saying,
172
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,856
after Erica learned
that my parents and I
173
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,457
were part of
the Organization,
174
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,459
she joined
the Other Side.
175
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,031
Wait, wait.
176
00:07:41,031 --> 00:07:42,893
Your sister joined
the Other Side?
177
00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:45,966
Yes, and it broke
our hearts.
178
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,138
My parents got rid
of everything that showed
179
00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:49,740
she ever existed.
180
00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:51,341
They figured it'd be
easier that way.
181
00:07:51,341 --> 00:07:53,203
But I managed to save
a few pictures
182
00:07:53,203 --> 00:07:54,875
from when we were kids,
'cause no matter what,
183
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,508
she was my sister.
184
00:07:57,508 --> 00:07:59,510
Judy, I want you to access
my personal computer.
185
00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:02,713
- My password is--
- I already figured out
your secret password.
186
00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:04,114
SpyMom1?
187
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,357
I thought it was
ILoveCraig.
188
00:08:07,357 --> 00:08:09,920
No, honey,
that's your password.
189
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,693
Oh, yeah,
that's right.
190
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,494
Lights off.
191
00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:20,731
Pulling up super secret
sister pictures.
192
00:08:20,731 --> 00:08:22,703
I loved my sister,
193
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,875
but she never really fit in
with the rest of the family.
194
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:32,543
She just walked to the beat
of her own drum.
195
00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:34,715
I can relate.
196
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,217
And after college,
when Erica found out
197
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,489
that I was recruited
to be a spy like our parents,
198
00:08:39,489 --> 00:08:40,751
she really felt
left out.
199
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:43,123
I can relate.
200
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,626
She was always
a little off,
201
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,998
doing weird things,
acting all strange.
202
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,462
And sometimes,
it was just embarrassing
203
00:08:52,462 --> 00:08:53,934
being in the same family.
204
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,566
Oh, look at that.
205
00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:57,908
Now I can relate.
206
00:08:57,908 --> 00:09:00,170
Erica and I
never spoke again
207
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:01,942
after she joined
the Other Side.
208
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,414
That was almost
20 years ago.
209
00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:07,077
It was hard,
but sometimes,
210
00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:10,550
you just have to know
when to let go.
211
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,783
Now that she's
really gone...
212
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,024
Mom, Mom, Mom.
213
00:09:14,024 --> 00:09:16,657
Hey, on the bright side,
we got Abby now.
214
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,188
She is a part
of the family.
215
00:09:18,188 --> 00:09:20,030
We could always
reach out to her.
216
00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:21,692
Oh, no. Uh-uh.
Absolutely not.
217
00:09:21,692 --> 00:09:23,994
I got a bad feeling
about this whole thing.
218
00:09:23,994 --> 00:09:26,096
But we're the only family
that she has.
219
00:09:26,096 --> 00:09:28,398
KC, enough.
I'm shutting this down.
220
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,603
Hey, is that a picture
of you in a hot tub?
221
00:09:32,603 --> 00:09:34,544
With MC Hammer?
222
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,580
I'm shutting that
down, too.
223
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,157
Okay, hypothetical
question, right?
224
00:09:47,157 --> 00:09:49,159
Let's just say I'm
on my date with Darien tonight,
225
00:09:49,159 --> 00:09:52,322
and I pass out
from nervousness.
226
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:55,766
Now, is it better
to faint into my food,
227
00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:57,067
or onto the floor?
228
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,129
If it were me,
I would just faint
229
00:09:59,129 --> 00:10:01,902
right into his arms,
but that is an advanced move,
230
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,634
and you may not
be ready for it.
231
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:05,936
Marisa, I'm serious,
all right.
232
00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,208
I really, really
like this guy,
233
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,641
and I need your help.
What if he thinks
I'm boring?
234
00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:12,943
Boring? Please,
you have traveled the world.
235
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:14,715
You've met royalty.
236
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,347
You have been
in the same room
as the president.
237
00:10:17,347 --> 00:10:19,650
All things
I cannot tell him.
238
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,221
Everything that's
unique about me
239
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,893
is classified.
240
00:10:22,893 --> 00:10:25,896
Or gross, like
the plantar's wart
on my foot.
241
00:10:27,858 --> 00:10:29,329
Okay, little hint.
242
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,232
Try not to mention
your warts to him.
243
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:35,035
Or anyone.
Ever.
244
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,669
So basically,
all I can tell him is...
245
00:10:38,669 --> 00:10:40,911
I have a great family,
I go to school,
246
00:10:40,911 --> 00:10:42,943
and I come home
to my great family.
247
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,514
Then make something up.
248
00:10:46,016 --> 00:10:47,878
This date
needs to go well.
249
00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:49,279
We need this.
250
00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:50,951
Why do you care?
251
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,322
Thanks to him,
252
00:10:52,322 --> 00:10:53,523
I'm popular-adjacent.
253
00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:55,085
Since he acknowledged me,
254
00:10:55,085 --> 00:10:56,887
I've gotten 13 "Heys,"
ten "'Sups,"
255
00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:59,259
and I passed a group of
people talking about a party,
256
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,091
and for the first time
in my life,
257
00:11:01,091 --> 00:11:03,133
the conversation didn't
come to a screeching halt.
258
00:11:03,133 --> 00:11:05,696
Marisa, help her!
259
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,300
Okay, KC, here's
all the dating advice
260
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,902
you will ever need.
261
00:11:11,902 --> 00:11:14,204
If you can't be interesting,
262
00:11:14,204 --> 00:11:16,576
then be interested.
263
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,548
Guys love to talk
about themselves,
264
00:11:18,548 --> 00:11:20,580
so just talk about
things he likes.
265
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,953
Oh, we'll treat this
like a mission.
266
00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:24,955
I'll find out
everything Darien likes,
267
00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:27,117
put together a dossier,
and prep you.
268
00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:29,059
Okay, guys, come on.
269
00:11:29,059 --> 00:11:32,122
This seems a little weird,
creepy, and super stalkery.
270
00:11:32,122 --> 00:11:33,423
Yeah, welcome to
the world of dating.
271
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,967
No one goes in cold anymore.
272
00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:41,571
Now in case
all else fails,
273
00:11:41,571 --> 00:11:43,934
you are also
gonna need a go-to story.
274
00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:45,736
Okay, I know I'm gonna
hate myself for asking,
275
00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:47,137
but what is a go-to story?
276
00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:49,339
It is a story that
makes you seem sweet,
277
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:51,181
vulnerable and lovable,
278
00:11:51,181 --> 00:11:53,744
preferably featuring
a small, helpless animal.
279
00:11:53,744 --> 00:11:55,685
Yeah, I don't have
one of those.
280
00:11:55,685 --> 00:11:57,087
Oh, you can borrow mine.
281
00:11:57,087 --> 00:11:59,349
I got it from my friend
Angela in Connecticut.
282
00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:02,022
Now listen and learn.
283
00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:05,655
I was almost seven.
284
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,831
I had begged my parents
for months to get me a puppy.
285
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,233
Then on my birthday,
they got me...
286
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,665
Mr. Doodles.
287
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:19,770
I took him for a walk,
but the collar was too big.
288
00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,042
He got loose,
and out of nowhere,
289
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,473
a car came barreling
down the street--
290
00:12:23,473 --> 00:12:25,475
This is ridiculous.
291
00:12:25,475 --> 00:12:29,079
No one is going to buy
this manipulative, ridiculous--
292
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:32,682
Poor sweet, vulnerable,
lovable Marisa.
293
00:12:35,225 --> 00:12:37,027
Go on, I'm listening.
294
00:12:45,836 --> 00:12:48,038
Where did you get
those pants?
295
00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:50,100
These? I've had
these for years.
296
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,572
I guess I never
told you about 'em.
297
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,574
Kinda like you never
told me about your sister.
298
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,446
Hmm.
299
00:12:56,446 --> 00:12:59,009
I wonder what else
you're not telling me.
300
00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:02,082
Fine. I didn't
want you to know,
301
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,314
but I guess
I have no choice.
302
00:13:04,314 --> 00:13:06,186
I'm not really your wife.
303
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,257
I'm working deep undercover,
304
00:13:07,257 --> 00:13:09,019
( deep voice )
and my real name is Frank.
305
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,292
Don't ask me where
them kids came from,
306
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,294
because I don't know.
307
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,297
Fine. If you're not
gonna take me seriously,
308
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,270
I have no choice
but to go play golf
with Stu.
309
00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:21,972
Stu? Who's Stu?
310
00:13:21,972 --> 00:13:24,474
I have secrets,
too, woman.
311
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,512
You dragged that brush
through your hair 36 times.
312
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,485
I didn't think it was gonna
get any better after 35,
313
00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:38,188
but boy, you proved me wrong.
314
00:13:38,188 --> 00:13:40,720
Don't you have
someplace to be,
315
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,193
like a scrap heap?
316
00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:50,100
Oh, look at you.
317
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,102
Gorgeous.
Okay, remember
318
00:13:52,102 --> 00:13:54,134
not to use your phone
during the date,
319
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,735
except to check if
there's spinach in your teeth.
320
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,239
And if Marisa gave you
any advice, ignore it.
321
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,640
And most important--
322
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,943
Okay, Mom, please. I'm
nervous enough as it is.
323
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,545
You're gonna give
my pit stains pit stains.
324
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,078
Can't a mother
give her daughter
a little dating advice?
325
00:14:08,078 --> 00:14:09,819
Is that what Grandma
used to do for you?
326
00:14:09,819 --> 00:14:12,152
No, but my older sis...
Never mind.
327
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,084
You were gonna say
sister, weren't you?
328
00:14:14,084 --> 00:14:15,585
Yes, I was.
329
00:14:15,585 --> 00:14:18,658
Sister Mary Elizabeth.
330
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:21,631
She was one of
my teachers at
parochial school.
331
00:14:21,631 --> 00:14:23,863
And for a woman
who was married to God,
332
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,665
she knew a lot
about dating.
333
00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:30,640
Okay, Mom, I can
clearly see that
you're hurting about this.
334
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,372
Why don't you just
reach out to Abby?
335
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,604
She's your niece.
She deserves to know
her family.
336
00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:38,178
KC, she is a stranger
who showed up at our door.
337
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,050
We don't have any proof
that she is who she
says she is.
338
00:14:40,050 --> 00:14:41,611
We don't have
any proof that she's not.
339
00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:43,783
Okay, well, say
she is my niece.
340
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,485
If she's anything
like her mother,
341
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,387
- that girl is no good.
- You don't know that.
342
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,159
Just because her mom's bad
does not mean that she is.
343
00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:50,921
It's true.
344
00:14:50,921 --> 00:14:52,792
Not everybody turns out
like their parents.
345
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,125
My mother
was a coffee machine.
346
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,798
KC, look, I'm done
talking about this.
347
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,270
Mom, we could
just call her--
348
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:02,602
No! This conversation
is over.
349
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,604
I don't want anyone
from this family
350
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:07,237
to have any contact
whatsoever with
that Abby girl.
351
00:15:11,341 --> 00:15:13,313
Wow. At least when
my mom got that hot,
352
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,615
you'd get
some coffee out of it.
353
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,621
All right,
let's review.
354
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,253
What's Darien's
favorite thing to do
on the weekend?
355
00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:24,724
- Motocross racing.
- Favorite food.
356
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,026
His grandma's
salmon croquettes.
357
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,427
Favorite Harry Potter
movie.
358
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,460
Trick question.
He loves them all.
359
00:15:32,202 --> 00:15:34,064
You're ready.
360
00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:37,237
Now go out there
and make me popular...
361
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,270
I mean proud.
Proud.
362
00:15:41,671 --> 00:15:43,413
Change of plans, KC.
363
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,315
You have an emergency
extraction mission.
364
00:15:45,315 --> 00:15:46,816
Okay, Dad, I love you,
but I am not squeezing
365
00:15:46,816 --> 00:15:48,979
your back pimples
ever again.
366
00:15:48,979 --> 00:15:51,681
This is Organization
business.
367
00:15:51,681 --> 00:15:53,853
You can't do this to us!
She has a date.
368
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,685
I'm this close
to being popular.
369
00:15:59,829 --> 00:16:02,532
Dad, can't the mission wait
until 10:00 or 11:00 tonight?
370
00:16:02,532 --> 00:16:05,395
Yeah, I'm sure the agent
who's been captured
371
00:16:05,395 --> 00:16:06,896
won't mind waiting
a few hours.
372
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:09,139
Maybe they'll give him
some coconut water
373
00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:11,671
- and a foot massage.
- Oh, so we're good.
374
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,743
Get in the van.
375
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,510
Okay, KC, an agent
from the Organization
376
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:22,012
has been captured
by the Other Side.
377
00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:24,554
Intel shows that
they might be holding him
378
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:26,116
in this apartment.
379
00:16:28,918 --> 00:16:31,291
Hey, Dad, thermal scan
confirms there are two perps
380
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,762
in there with
our compromised agent.
381
00:16:32,762 --> 00:16:35,495
- I'm going in.
- KC, our orders are
382
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,797
- to wait for back-up.
- I can't wait.
I have a date,
383
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,270
and an unreasonably
early curfew.
384
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:42,102
- I'm going in.
- KC, stand down.
385
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,203
I repeat, stand down.
386
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:47,637
Hey, think fast.
387
00:17:06,656 --> 00:17:09,799
KC! KC, are you there?
KC! Are you there?
388
00:17:09,799 --> 00:17:12,102
I'm right here.
389
00:17:12,102 --> 00:17:15,034
- KC, you could've been
seriously hurt.
- But I wasn't.
390
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,506
- But you could've been.
- But I wasn't.
391
00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:17,537
But you could've been.
392
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,739
But again, I wasn't.
393
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,641
That's not the point.
394
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:25,375
I believe Agent Murphy here
would disagree.
395
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:28,348
He also thinks that
10:00 is a little bit early
396
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,580
for a curfew,
right, Agent Murphy,
397
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:32,352
whose life I just
saved?
398
00:17:37,987 --> 00:17:40,390
Oh, hey, how'd
the mission go?
399
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:43,563
Oh, I would tell you,
but it's a secret.
400
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,196
Really, Craig?
Really?
401
00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:48,968
When are you gonna stop
all this nonsense?
402
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,540
Hey, I'm a man
of many secrets.
403
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:54,104
For instance, did you know
I can burp the entire alphabet?
404
00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:55,545
Wasn't cute on
our first date,
405
00:17:55,545 --> 00:17:57,447
and it's not gonna
be cute now.
406
00:17:57,447 --> 00:17:59,549
And if you don't
stop acting like a darn fool,
407
00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:02,011
you're gonna be sleeping
on this couch tonight.
408
00:18:05,255 --> 00:18:08,318
Dad, I get that
you're upset with Mom,
409
00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:10,260
but if you wanna
patch things up,
410
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,362
can I give you
a little advice?
411
00:18:12,362 --> 00:18:14,964
Stop worrying about
being interesting,
412
00:18:14,964 --> 00:18:17,567
and worry more about
being interested.
413
00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:20,600
What the heck
does that mean?
414
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,332
I don't know.
415
00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:23,673
Marisa came up with it.
416
00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:25,505
But I think,
in this case,
417
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,707
it means stop making
a big deal about you,
418
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,239
and worry about her.
419
00:18:29,239 --> 00:18:31,441
Huh.
420
00:18:31,441 --> 00:18:34,043
You know, that
actually makes sense.
421
00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:36,416
Thank you, son.
422
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,519
And if that fails,
tell her a story
about a dead dog.
423
00:18:53,102 --> 00:18:54,534
I'm here.
I'm here.
424
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:58,107
I'm here.
Uh, sorry I'm late.
425
00:18:58,107 --> 00:19:00,069
I just, um, had to
help my dad with something.
426
00:19:00,069 --> 00:19:01,511
Anything interesting?
427
00:19:01,511 --> 00:19:03,543
Interesting? No.
428
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,446
I am not interesting
at all.
429
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,618
But I am interested...
430
00:19:08,618 --> 00:19:10,480
in what you like
on the menu.
431
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,752
I'm not sure what to get.
432
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:16,626
How about salmon croquettes?
433
00:19:16,626 --> 00:19:19,759
Because it's a pizza place
and they're not on the menu.
434
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,791
Yeah.
435
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:24,163
Sure, that's a good reason.
436
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,695
I just love them so much.
437
00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,397
I thought you were
a vegetarian.
438
00:19:27,397 --> 00:19:29,539
I am.
439
00:19:29,539 --> 00:19:33,203
I am, but I like to pretend
to eat salmon croquettes...
440
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:37,106
while motocross racing
and reading
441
00:19:37,106 --> 00:19:38,908
all seven
Harry Potter books.
442
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,482
I mean, is there
a best one?
443
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:45,585
Don't ask me 'cause
I love them all.
444
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,887
KC, are you randomly
mentioning things that I like?
445
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,489
Why would you say that?
446
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,891
Because you're randomly
mentioning things that I like.
447
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,124
Please tell me you did not
internet-stalk me
448
00:19:55,124 --> 00:19:56,696
to prepare for our date.
449
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,499
No. Of course not.
I would never do that.
450
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,100
That is so weird
and creepy and...
451
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,832
very manipulative.
452
00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:07,937
I was almost seven.
453
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:13,042
I had begged my parents
for months for a puppy,
454
00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:15,485
and then,
on my birthday, I, um...
455
00:20:15,485 --> 00:20:17,487
I'm sorry.
456
00:20:21,391 --> 00:20:23,152
Here's a little
secret for you.
457
00:20:23,152 --> 00:20:25,094
The last time
this blanket was used,
458
00:20:25,094 --> 00:20:27,627
Ernie had the stomach flu
and threw up on it.
459
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,699
Sweet dreams.
460
00:20:29,699 --> 00:20:31,531
Can I tell you
a secret?
461
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,133
I can be an idiot
sometimes.
462
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,006
Oh, tell me something
I didn't already know.
463
00:20:37,006 --> 00:20:41,210
I was upset because
I didn't know about
your sister,
464
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:42,672
and I acted like
a jerk.
465
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:44,814
What I should've done
was sit you down,
466
00:20:44,814 --> 00:20:48,418
and asked,
how you doing, baby?
467
00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:50,820
I know this whole thing
must be really painful.
468
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,652
You okay?
469
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,924
Oh, Craig.
470
00:20:57,627 --> 00:21:00,590
Now if there's
anything else you're hiding,
471
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:02,762
and you wanna
get it off your chest...
472
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,594
Don't ruin it, Craig.
473
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:13,443
Thank you.
I had a great time tonight.
474
00:21:13,443 --> 00:21:16,105
Did you?
Did you really?
475
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,248
No.
( laughs )
476
00:21:19,248 --> 00:21:21,180
Neither did I.
477
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:22,552
Yeah, I'm sorry.
478
00:21:22,552 --> 00:21:25,154
It was horrible,
and it was all my fault.
479
00:21:25,154 --> 00:21:27,557
And the worst part is
I really, really like you,
480
00:21:27,557 --> 00:21:30,159
and I just ruined
my very first date ever.
481
00:21:30,159 --> 00:21:31,691
Okay, wait a minute.
482
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,363
This is your
very first date?
483
00:21:33,363 --> 00:21:34,924
Yes.
484
00:21:34,924 --> 00:21:36,596
Now wait another minute.
485
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,598
Did you just say
you really liked me?
486
00:21:39,769 --> 00:21:41,931
Maybe.
487
00:21:41,931 --> 00:21:43,973
KC, I like you, too,
488
00:21:43,973 --> 00:21:45,835
and I wanna
get to know you.
489
00:21:45,835 --> 00:21:47,737
Who's the real KC?
490
00:21:47,737 --> 00:21:49,939
Um...
491
00:21:49,939 --> 00:21:52,141
Well, the real me...
492
00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:55,545
The real me has never had
a salmon croquette,
and never wants to.
493
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,519
I have no interest
in motocross racing,
494
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:02,622
and I am way behind
in my Harry Potters.
495
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:06,125
I guess the real KC
is someone
496
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:10,430
who really, really,
really cares about her family.
497
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:14,033
They are, like,
the most important
thing in the world to me.
498
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:17,036
I couldn't even imagine
going through life without...
499
00:22:20,269 --> 00:22:21,771
You know what,
thank you so much
for everything,
500
00:22:21,771 --> 00:22:24,013
and I really wanna
do this again,
501
00:22:24,013 --> 00:22:27,517
but I gotta go talk to
a family member right now.
502
00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:34,654
Thanks for...
walking me to your door?
503
00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:40,660
So...
how'd it go, buddy?
504
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,662
Will we be
seeing you again?
505
00:22:55,905 --> 00:22:57,707
Oh, hi.
506
00:22:57,707 --> 00:22:59,649
Hi. Um, I'm sorry.
507
00:22:59,649 --> 00:23:01,811
I didn't get to properly
introduce myself before.
508
00:23:01,811 --> 00:23:06,185
I'm KC Cooper,
and I'm your cousin.
509
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:08,918
Come on in.
37080
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