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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
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# The fundamental things apply
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# As time goes by #
6
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- Morning, Mum.
- Oh, I thought you'd have gone.
7
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- Nice weekend?
- Yes.
8
00:00:41,647 --> 00:00:44,036
- Yes, it was, actually.
- And how was Aunt...
9
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,681
- Any coffee in the pot?
- Yeah, I'll get you one.
10
00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:48,718
No, no, I'll get it.
11
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:51,361
- How was Aunt Penny?
- Much as usual.
12
00:00:51,407 --> 00:00:54,080
Bit on the depressing side.
She asked after you.
13
00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:56,880
I'll bet she said, "How's poor Judith?"
14
00:00:56,927 --> 00:00:58,918
Poor little Judith, actually.
15
00:00:58,967 --> 00:01:04,121
- Did Uncle Stephen get a word in edgeways?
- Hmm! Just the one!
16
00:01:05,127 --> 00:01:07,516
- What about Lionel?
- What about Lionel?
17
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:11,837
What do you say "What about Lionel?"
Like that for?
18
00:01:11,887 --> 00:01:14,685
Like what? All I said was "What about Lionel?"
19
00:01:14,727 --> 00:01:18,037
- No, you said, "What ABOUT Lionel?"
- Shouldn't you be at the office?
20
00:01:18,087 --> 00:01:21,636
I've got a meeting at ten.
Not much point in going in the office first.
21
00:01:21,687 --> 00:01:25,760
When I started that agency,
I used to be at my desk at eight in the morning.
22
00:01:25,807 --> 00:01:29,117
I assume, on those dark winter mornings,
you used to work by gaslight.
23
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:31,920
Oh, candlelight, actually.
24
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,003
One candle only, of course.
25
00:01:34,047 --> 00:01:36,515
So what about Lionel?
26
00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:41,766
- Oh, not again. What about Lionel?
- Did he have a nice weekend is all I'm asking.
27
00:01:41,807 --> 00:01:44,640
- Oh.
- Bet he didn't.
28
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,723
Well, he did, actually.
29
00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,439
Oh.
30
00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:50,682
I was expecting you back last night.
31
00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:54,800
Yes, well, we were having such a nice time,
we decided to stay over Sunday.
32
00:01:54,847 --> 00:01:56,280
I see.
33
00:01:57,047 --> 00:01:58,639
So we did.
34
00:01:58,687 --> 00:02:01,724
Funny sort of place to have a nice time, isn't it?
35
00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:05,555
Aunt Penny's. It's a very funny place.
36
00:02:05,607 --> 00:02:07,802
- Where's your meeting?
- Fitzroy Square.
37
00:02:07,847 --> 00:02:10,759
- Shouldn't you be on your way?
- Yes, I suppose I should.
38
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:18,165
- Glad you had a nice time.
- Oh, well, I'm glad...
39
00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:20,596
...you're glad I had a nice time.
40
00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:24,198
I'll see you later.
41
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,956
- Morning, boss.
- Morning, Sandy.
42
00:02:30,007 --> 00:02:33,795
Post. Mostly routine,
mostly downright dull, actually.
43
00:02:33,847 --> 00:02:35,565
- Any cheques?
- Some.
44
00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:38,644
- Oh, then it's not all that dull.
- Nice weekend?
45
00:02:38,687 --> 00:02:40,405
Yes, thank you.
46
00:02:40,447 --> 00:02:42,165
I'm glad.
47
00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:47,276
- Good.
- No, I mean, I'm really glad. I like Lionel.
48
00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:50,647
- You've been talking to Judith, haven't you?
- Yes.
49
00:02:50,687 --> 00:02:54,396
I phoned her and she said you and Lionel
had gone away for the weekend.
50
00:02:54,447 --> 00:02:57,041
- Oh, I see.
- Well? That's all I meant.
51
00:02:57,087 --> 00:02:59,442
We did not go away for the weekend.
52
00:02:59,487 --> 00:03:02,081
- You mean Judith made it up?
- No, of course not.
53
00:03:02,127 --> 00:03:05,164
- You're not making a lot of sense.
- I'm making perfect sense.
54
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:09,200
We were invited by my sister-in-law and
her husband to spend a few days with them.
55
00:03:09,247 --> 00:03:12,717
We did not go away for the weekend.
56
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:16,442
- What's the difference?
- Don't play the innocent with me, Sandy.
57
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:20,639
- Why are you so touchy on the subject?
- Because my private life is my business!
58
00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:22,678
OK, fair enough.
59
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:26,035
- I'm glad.
- Now what are you glad about?
60
00:03:26,087 --> 00:03:29,124
Well, that after all these years,
you've got a private life.
61
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:32,477
- Sandy!
- Oh, there's someone at the door.
62
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:36,006
- Morning.
- Well, good morning.
63
00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:39,039
- Is Jean free?
- Oh, for you?
64
00:03:39,847 --> 00:03:42,236
It's your PL.
65
00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:44,596
- Oh, hello, Lionel.
- Hello.
66
00:03:44,647 --> 00:03:46,638
I'll close the door, shall I?
67
00:03:47,967 --> 00:03:49,958
- Hello, Lionel.
- Hello.
68
00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:55,720
- What's a PL?
- I don't know. Oh, yes, I do. Private life.
69
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:58,964
- Oh. That's rather impertinent, isn't it?
- Impertinent?
70
00:03:59,007 --> 00:04:01,999
- Well, nosy, then.
- Yes, I'll accept nosy.
71
00:04:02,047 --> 00:04:05,164
Judy's just as bad.
"Nice weekend? How's Lionel?"
72
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:07,516
- What did you say?
- I said you were fine.
73
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:10,764
- You know what I mean.
- Nothing. I said nothing.
74
00:04:12,647 --> 00:04:15,445
- I suppose we should be flattered.
- Why?
75
00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:18,524
Being the objects of youthful curiosity
at our time of life.
76
00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:21,161
I'm not flattered, I'm fed up with it.
77
00:04:21,207 --> 00:04:24,677
And I don't like
the "our time of life" much either.
78
00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:26,797
We could follow Alistair's advice.
79
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:32,524
If pressed on personal matters, one just smiles
mischievously and says, "Hey, hey!"
80
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:35,161
- I don't think that's us, do you?
- Not really, no.
81
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:36,435
Yes?
82
00:04:36,487 --> 00:04:38,637
Don't snarl.
83
00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:41,997
It's Atwell's on the phone.
Mr Atwell, to be exact.
84
00:04:42,047 --> 00:04:43,765
- Tell him I'll ring him back.
- OK.
85
00:04:45,287 --> 00:04:47,960
- When?
- Oh, soon.
86
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:52,038
I'm sorry, Lionel,
I'm rather rushed this morning.
87
00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:54,885
- I just popped in for Penny's phone number.
- Oh, why?
88
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:58,761
- I think I've left my watch there.
- Oh. Oh, well, I'll phone her now.
89
00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:01,082
- If you're too busy...
- Oh, don't push it.
90
00:05:03,207 --> 00:05:07,200
Strange, I still can't get used to seeing you
as an executive woman.
91
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:10,239
Look silly if I was a junior nurse, wouldn't it?
92
00:05:11,487 --> 00:05:14,399
- Are you free for lunch?
- Yeah, fine.
93
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,642
- Ah. Penny?
- Hello.
94
00:05:16,687 --> 00:05:18,279
It's Jean.
95
00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:20,636
- Yes, I'm fine, thank you.
- And Lionel?
96
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:25,681
Yes, he's fine, too. Yes, it was a lovely
weekend. Thank you very much.
97
00:05:25,727 --> 00:05:28,605
Oh, a kleptomaniac, I think.
98
00:05:28,647 --> 00:05:32,686
Look, Penny,
Lionel thinks he left his watch at the cottage.
99
00:05:32,727 --> 00:05:35,321
Would you? Oh, yes, all right.
100
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,562
Yes, that's fine. OK, bye.
101
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:43,044
- She's going to ring back.
- Who's a kleptomaniac?
102
00:05:43,087 --> 00:05:47,399
You're treating one. As far as Penny's
concerned, you're a psychiatrist, remember?
103
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,678
Mm, so I am.
I still don't know why you said that.
104
00:05:50,727 --> 00:05:55,164
- You didn't want to talk about the book.
- I know, but why say I was a psychiatrist?
105
00:05:55,207 --> 00:05:59,041
When I've got some time,
I'll see a psychiatrist and ask.
106
00:05:59,087 --> 00:06:01,442
- I'll be off.
- All right, see you for lunch.
107
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:05,685
Yeah, fine. Oh, um, I'd like to have a chat
about something, actually.
108
00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:08,195
- Oh, what about?
- Um...
109
00:06:09,447 --> 00:06:11,881
Us taking a holiday together.
110
00:06:11,927 --> 00:06:13,918
Ooh.
111
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:16,083
See you, Sandy.
Bye.
112
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:24,520
You're not into spritzers, are you, Li?
I'm not into diluted wine.
113
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:27,286
Tell you something else I'm not into. This suit.
114
00:06:27,327 --> 00:06:31,559
- Why not? You look the biz.
- I look like mutton dressed as lamb.
115
00:06:31,607 --> 00:06:35,077
- See the look that waitress gave you?
- She couldn't believe her eyes.
116
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:37,357
It was admiration, mate.
117
00:06:37,407 --> 00:06:40,399
Then she either has poor eyesight
or a screw loose.
118
00:06:40,447 --> 00:06:45,282
- You don't think this'll help sell a book?
- You'd be surprised what can help sell a book.
119
00:06:45,327 --> 00:06:49,923
- I wouldn't, actually. Not since knowing you.
- I'll take that as a compliment.
120
00:06:49,967 --> 00:06:52,037
I thought you would.
121
00:06:52,087 --> 00:06:54,157
Do you know what that suit says?
122
00:06:54,207 --> 00:06:57,404
- Yes. "Take me off."
- Wrong.
123
00:06:57,447 --> 00:07:01,326
It says, "Hold up, coffee planters
can be cool dudes."
124
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:03,881
Is this to do with the "hey, hey" business?
125
00:07:03,927 --> 00:07:05,406
Right!
126
00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:10,559
Speaking of which... um... How shall I put this?
127
00:07:10,607 --> 00:07:12,837
- Carefully, I hope.
- Right.
128
00:07:12,887 --> 00:07:15,117
On second thoughts, hold it for tonight.
129
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,362
What am I doing tonight?
Giving a pop concert?
130
00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:20,205
Dinner. You, me, Jean, Judy.
131
00:07:20,247 --> 00:07:23,080
A little huddle before we go over the top
with the book.
132
00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:27,325
You've been going over the top with the book
since you decided to publish it.
133
00:07:27,367 --> 00:07:30,200
We're using "over the top" in a different sense.
134
00:07:30,247 --> 00:07:33,683
- Yes, we are.
- You and Jean still are on for tonight?
135
00:07:33,727 --> 00:07:37,959
Yes, I'd forgotten, I'm sorry.
You're seeing quite a lot of Judith, aren't you?
136
00:07:38,007 --> 00:07:41,204
We... er... hang out.
137
00:07:41,247 --> 00:07:43,761
Speak English. What exactly does that mean?
138
00:07:43,807 --> 00:07:46,765
Hey, hey!
139
00:07:46,807 --> 00:07:51,517
- She was looking at you again.
- Couldn't believe what she saw the first time.
140
00:07:52,527 --> 00:07:54,916
Oh, no, we don't want to do that.
141
00:07:54,967 --> 00:07:58,516
Well, pop round to the house
and I'll make an omelette.
142
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,559
Yes, in about, what, 20 minutes?
Yes, fine. All right.
143
00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,917
Penny? No, she hasn't phoned back yet.
OK, bye.
144
00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:08,164
You do remember we're having dinner
with Alistair tonight?
145
00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:12,405
- How could I forgot it?
- You know, deep down, he's very sweet.
146
00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:16,326
I'm sure he is.
I just wish he was intelligible, that's all.
147
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:19,200
Well, he's intelligible enough
when he wants to be.
148
00:08:19,247 --> 00:08:22,284
- Sandwiches for the workers.
- What about the queen bee?
149
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:25,399
Queen bee is popping home for lunch.
150
00:08:25,447 --> 00:08:27,438
- With Lionel.
- Oh.
151
00:08:27,487 --> 00:08:31,116
We've just got tired of having sandwiches
in the park, all right?
152
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:34,523
- I didn't say anything.
- Cosier at home, anyway.
153
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:38,003
You two are getting very tiresome,
do you know that?
154
00:08:41,207 --> 00:08:43,084
She's getting rattled.
155
00:08:43,127 --> 00:08:45,118
She is not.
156
00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:50,723
They're going on holiday together.
157
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:53,076
They're not?
158
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:56,119
It's all right, I'll get it. Noble soul.
159
00:08:58,487 --> 00:09:00,682
Good afternoon. Type For You.
160
00:09:00,727 --> 00:09:03,685
Oh, hello, Aunt Penny. No, she just left.
161
00:09:04,687 --> 00:09:09,477
You've found Lionel's watch. No, I didn't
even know that he'd left it. I'll tell him.
162
00:09:09,527 --> 00:09:11,324
Yes, right...
163
00:09:12,407 --> 00:09:14,443
Er... under where?
164
00:09:16,487 --> 00:09:18,478
Under their bed.
165
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:27,003
No, no, look, Aunt Pen, I'm on my lunch break.
You just chatter away as much as you want to.
166
00:09:30,447 --> 00:09:32,438
- This is rather good.
- Mm.
167
00:09:32,487 --> 00:09:36,275
Oh, we have a domestic side,
we executive women.
168
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:41,640
More comfortable than the benches in the park,
as well. We should do this every day.
169
00:09:41,687 --> 00:09:44,155
- Do you think so?
- Mm, rather.
170
00:09:44,207 --> 00:09:47,244
What about the executive side
to my domestic side?
171
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,437
Sorry, I'd forgotten that.
172
00:09:49,487 --> 00:09:52,126
- It's not a hobby, Lionel.
- Don't get prickly.
173
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:57,764
It's just the assumption that work is something
I do when I've got an odd ten minutes to spare.
174
00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:00,605
- Too many men have made that assumption.
- What men?
175
00:10:00,647 --> 00:10:04,322
- Oh, men.
- What, you mean men you've known?
176
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:05,959
Not necessarily.
177
00:10:06,007 --> 00:10:08,999
You must've known them all
to know they made the assumption.
178
00:10:09,047 --> 00:10:12,164
- When I say all...
- I'm not asking for figures.
179
00:10:12,207 --> 00:10:14,596
You're not getting figures.
180
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:18,481
Oh, let's change the subject.
You said something about a holiday.
181
00:10:18,527 --> 00:10:20,995
Ah, right.
182
00:10:21,047 --> 00:10:23,766
- I've been offered a cruise.
- Oh, what on?
183
00:10:24,647 --> 00:10:26,524
A ship.
184
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:28,956
I know that. Who offered you the cruise?
185
00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:32,602
It's odd, really.
You know the lecture circuit I'm on?
186
00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:35,036
My Life In Kenya.
187
00:10:35,087 --> 00:10:39,239
- A chap I know is on the same circuit.
- What's he doing? My Life In Clapham?
188
00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:41,403
- Do you want to hear this?
- Sorry.
189
00:10:41,447 --> 00:10:44,723
Well, he somehow got himself a cruise out of it.
190
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:47,440
Six days of luxury just for three talks.
191
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:53,483
He said it was an absolute doddle
and he thinks, if he recommends me to the line,
192
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:56,519
- it'd be the Mediterranean.
- Well, well.
193
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,764
I knew there must be some perks,
I've just never found them.
194
00:10:59,807 --> 00:11:02,275
Well, I hope you have a nice time.
195
00:11:02,327 --> 00:11:06,206
- You could come, too. He took his wife.
- I'm not your wife.
196
00:11:06,247 --> 00:11:09,796
That's all right. Nobody bothers
with questions like that any more.
197
00:11:09,847 --> 00:11:12,315
We could put down "companion".
198
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:15,803
No, we couldn't.
Rich old ladies have companions.
199
00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:18,919
- It doesn't matter what you're called.
- It does, actually.
200
00:11:18,967 --> 00:11:23,165
Well, I could hardly put "old sweetheart",
could I?
201
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:24,686
What about "nurse"?
202
00:11:26,847 --> 00:11:30,840
No, no. I made the mistake of talking about
what we'd put you down as.
203
00:11:30,887 --> 00:11:33,606
We just put you down as your name.
There's no problem.
204
00:11:33,647 --> 00:11:36,798
- What do you say to the captain?
- Why should I say anything?
205
00:11:36,847 --> 00:11:39,759
As a celebrity speaker,
you're bound to be introduced to him!
206
00:11:39,807 --> 00:11:44,005
How will you introduce me?
Providing you haven't hidden me in the lifeboat.
207
00:11:44,047 --> 00:11:48,802
- I'd say, "This is my friend Jean Pargetter."
...Jean Pargetter, who is sharing my cabin.
208
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:51,361
- Of course I wouldn't say that.
- He'd know it.
209
00:11:51,407 --> 00:11:54,365
Why are you suddenly so concerned
about the captain?
210
00:11:54,407 --> 00:12:00,198
There's all the other people nudging each other
and saying, "She's not a new model, is she?"
211
00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:04,126
I'm tired of my private life being discussed,
let alone by strangers.
212
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:09,366
I see. Well, you make a compelling case
for not wanting to come.
213
00:12:09,407 --> 00:12:10,886
Oh.
214
00:12:10,927 --> 00:12:12,918
I'm sorry, Lionel.
215
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:15,003
It was free, as well.
216
00:12:20,047 --> 00:12:21,446
What was all that for?
217
00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:23,955
To stop myself from hitting you over the head.
218
00:12:24,007 --> 00:12:26,077
Ask me why, go on, say why, why!
219
00:12:26,127 --> 00:12:29,119
- Why?
- Yes, why! I'd be a freebie!
220
00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:31,476
I'd be a hanger on!
221
00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:34,599
Is she included? Oh, sure, chuck her in!
222
00:12:34,647 --> 00:12:39,038
- That's not the way I thought...
- It's the way it... Oh, I'm going back to work.
223
00:12:39,087 --> 00:12:41,885
What if I asked for separate cabins?
224
00:12:43,727 --> 00:12:47,276
- I wonder if they'd stretch to that.
- I...
225
00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:53,639
Taxi!
226
00:13:23,127 --> 00:13:24,719
Nice lunch?
227
00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:29,761
One more personal question this afternoon
and you're out. That goes for you, too.
228
00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:38,237
So much for love in the afternoon.
229
00:13:38,287 --> 00:13:41,324
Perhaps they should stick to sandwiches.
230
00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:19,166
Ah.
231
00:14:19,207 --> 00:14:22,916
- I'd like to see your commander in chief.
- She just went out.
232
00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:28,603
- Do you really expect me to believe that?
- Do I re... Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.
233
00:14:28,647 --> 00:14:30,683
Well, I don't.
234
00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:36,197
- I'd like to talk to your mother.
- She just went out.
235
00:14:36,247 --> 00:14:39,284
- Do you really expect me to believe that?
- That's what he said to me.
236
00:14:39,327 --> 00:14:41,318
- Well, do you?
- Yes.
237
00:14:44,127 --> 00:14:46,766
- Would you like a cup of coffee?
- No, thanks.
238
00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:49,196
- A wine gum?
- No, thanks.
239
00:14:49,247 --> 00:14:54,480
- I'm waiting for you to produce your mother.
- That's biologically impossible.
240
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:58,122
- I don't find that amusing.
- I don't find being called a liar amusing.
241
00:14:58,167 --> 00:15:02,126
- That makes two of us.
- Jean just went out. That's what you're saying.
242
00:15:05,047 --> 00:15:09,199
I have days like this.
I don't suppose you know where she's gone?
243
00:15:09,247 --> 00:15:11,238
- Yes.
- You going to tell me?
244
00:15:11,287 --> 00:15:14,279
- No.
- Look, we don't know. She just went.
245
00:15:14,327 --> 00:15:18,718
- Rather early, isn't it?
- That's up to her. She can go when she wants.
246
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:25,163
We had a bit of a disagreement.
I suppose she told you.
247
00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:27,004
No.
248
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:30,835
If you don't know the facts,
why are you taking sides?
249
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:34,765
Oh, I see, all girls together.
250
00:15:34,807 --> 00:15:38,163
What would you say
if I referred to you as a boy?
251
00:15:38,207 --> 00:15:40,641
I'd say your mind had snapped.
252
00:15:40,687 --> 00:15:42,166
Exactly!
253
00:15:43,607 --> 00:15:45,518
She likes Mum.
254
00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,603
Yeah, so I gathered.
255
00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:52,237
This misunderstanding...
256
00:15:52,287 --> 00:15:56,041
- Look, I don't want to know.
- Perhaps I put it badly.
257
00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:57,918
What did you put badly?
258
00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:02,245
I told her that I could possibly get
a little lecture job on a cruise ship
259
00:16:02,287 --> 00:16:05,279
and she could come along free
if she wanted to.
260
00:16:08,647 --> 00:16:10,638
I think I'll go.
261
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:15,522
- 400.
- Three.
262
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,124
Four.
263
00:16:19,287 --> 00:16:21,482
Three-and-a-half.
264
00:16:21,527 --> 00:16:25,122
Mr Atwell, if you want girls on a regular basis,
you must...
265
00:16:26,927 --> 00:16:31,125
Girls on a regular basis.
There's quite a double meaning there.
266
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:36,241
Oh, is there really? Well, secretaries, then.
To avoid any other subtle double meanings.
267
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:40,280
If you want secretaries on a regular basis,
we're talking of regular salaries.
268
00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:44,684
- Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?
- Yes, thank you.
269
00:16:44,727 --> 00:16:48,322
- Afraid it might go to the head?
- Yes, something like that.
270
00:16:48,367 --> 00:16:52,679
Such an attractive little lady,
such a strong will.
271
00:16:52,727 --> 00:16:54,922
It's four.
272
00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:57,925
- Look, dear...
- And don't call me dear.
273
00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:01,119
Sorry.
274
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:04,239
Just a term of endearment.
275
00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:07,085
- Mr Atwell...
- Cyril.
276
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:13,441
Mr Atwell, we have no need of of endearments.
We are not endeared. We're talking business.
277
00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:15,682
- Three-and-a-half.
- Four.
278
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:19,759
- I've got a timeshare.
- Oh, have you really?
279
00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:21,399
Marbella.
280
00:17:22,447 --> 00:17:27,840
Through-lounge, all ethnic tiled, microwave,
sun deck, use of pool.
281
00:17:27,887 --> 00:17:32,165
Maria comes every day.
She's very good, despite the limp.
282
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:34,516
- Is this relevant?
- Think about it.
283
00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:37,400
I have. Incredibly fast. Four.
284
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,765
You misunderstand me. I wasn't inviting you.
285
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:47,240
- Oh.
- No, I thought perhaps you and hubby might...
286
00:17:47,287 --> 00:17:50,996
- I don't have a hubby.
- Oh, poor woman.
287
00:17:51,047 --> 00:17:54,642
I'm not a poor woman,
I'm a businessman... woman.
288
00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:57,042
And that's all there is, is there?
289
00:17:57,087 --> 00:18:00,921
You make that sentence sound
as if it should have black edges round it.
290
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:03,356
Let's be fair, it explains a lot.
291
00:18:03,407 --> 00:18:05,204
It explains nothing. Four.
292
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:10,242
Three-and-three-quarters.
293
00:18:10,287 --> 00:18:12,084
Four.
294
00:18:12,127 --> 00:18:14,516
You're a tough lady.
295
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:16,637
Not a rascal or a rogue?
296
00:18:19,007 --> 00:18:22,477
- I'm not with you.
- No, never mind.
297
00:18:22,527 --> 00:18:25,519
- You little business ladies...
- Four.
298
00:18:26,967 --> 00:18:28,559
Four.
299
00:18:30,127 --> 00:18:34,325
- Li, Li, Li.
- I hate being called Li, let alone Li-Li-Li.
300
00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:37,837
And I still don't see what I did or said
that was so terrible.
301
00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:40,082
You admitted you were on a freebie.
302
00:18:40,127 --> 00:18:43,961
- Well, actually, I said perk.
- Same thing, different generation.
303
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:47,795
Perks are fine,
but the one thing you never, never do
304
00:18:47,847 --> 00:18:50,759
is tell your lady that she's on a freebie.
305
00:18:50,807 --> 00:18:53,560
- It's not very flattering, is it?
- It's honest.
306
00:18:53,607 --> 00:18:58,397
Li, we are talking man-woman,
we are not talking about honesty.
307
00:18:58,447 --> 00:19:02,759
I'm out of touch with women. I don't think
I've ever been in touch with women.
308
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:06,516
What about the great romance with Jean
in the early part of the century?
309
00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:09,320
- The middle of the century, actually.
- So it was.
310
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:14,964
Oh, that was... well... Understanding
each other didn't really come into it.
311
00:19:15,007 --> 00:19:18,795
- Well, there must have been something.
- Yes, there was.
312
00:19:18,847 --> 00:19:24,080
And then later, there was never a relationship
which required me to understand women.
313
00:19:24,127 --> 00:19:27,722
- What about Kenya? Your wife?
- She didn't want to be understood.
314
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:31,476
Any effort on my part would've been
looked on as a kind of intrusion.
315
00:19:32,327 --> 00:19:35,717
- Jean is coming tonight?
- Well, she was.
316
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:40,602
In the prevailing climate, she may not lend her
wholehearted support to this book business.
317
00:19:41,407 --> 00:19:45,002
Actually, Lionel,
that may not be entirely a bad thing.
318
00:19:46,487 --> 00:19:49,684
It's the Three Graces rolled into two women!
319
00:19:49,727 --> 00:19:52,719
That makes us one-and-a-half women each.
320
00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:56,482
- Lionel.
- Hello.
321
00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:59,121
- Hello, Judith.
- Sandy's forgiven you.
322
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:01,237
- What for?
- All I said was...
323
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:04,484
- Oh, one of those.
- Shall we take in some bubbles?
324
00:20:04,527 --> 00:20:06,324
Judith.
325
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:09,719
Excuse me.
326
00:20:10,647 --> 00:20:13,241
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
327
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,761
Thank you.
328
00:20:16,807 --> 00:20:19,196
So what do you think?
329
00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:21,477
- It's Lionel.
- I like it.
330
00:20:21,527 --> 00:20:25,315
- I feel a twerp.
- Lionel, it's the biz!
331
00:20:25,367 --> 00:20:28,120
- Friend of mine fixed us up.
- Hm, another perk?
332
00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:33,921
- Shall we order?
- Actually, with everybody's permish,
333
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:37,880
I've put ordering on hold.
Let's do the stuff first, then mungus.
334
00:20:37,927 --> 00:20:41,522
I'm sorry, I only understood every other word
in that sentence.
335
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:44,320
Alistair wants to talk about the book first
and then eat.
336
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:46,562
You should take Judy on as an interpreter.
337
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,476
I'm sorry. I get carried away sometimes.
338
00:20:50,527 --> 00:20:53,644
It's trying to keep up with the young fellows,
I suppose.
339
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,996
Now we have ignition.
340
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:57,844
We publish in a week
341
00:20:57,887 --> 00:21:02,165
and then, hopefully, comes a time
when Lionel will be in the public eye.
342
00:21:02,207 --> 00:21:05,085
- In this suit?
- Which they will love!
343
00:21:05,127 --> 00:21:08,119
It's part of the image
we're trying to create, hm?
344
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:12,763
If the public gets interested in an author,
then they also get interested in the book.
345
00:21:12,807 --> 00:21:16,197
If you'd published Shakespeare,
he would've really been something.
346
00:21:16,247 --> 00:21:18,715
- Judy, I was being serious.
- So was Judy.
347
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:21,679
Look, what we don't want to suggest
348
00:21:21,727 --> 00:21:26,482
is that My Life In Kenya is simply the story
of someone who planted coffee.
349
00:21:26,527 --> 00:21:30,122
- But it is.
- We know that, mate.
350
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:33,364
But what we want to hint is that
that guy who planted coffee
351
00:21:33,407 --> 00:21:35,637
didn't just plant coffee.
352
00:21:35,687 --> 00:21:39,396
- We're back to the "hey, hey" thing, aren't we?
- Right!
353
00:21:39,447 --> 00:21:44,077
Look, Alistair, if you want to persist
with this ridiculous fiction...
354
00:21:44,127 --> 00:21:47,005
- He does sell books.
- He does sell books.
355
00:21:47,047 --> 00:21:49,197
...what does it have to do with me now?
356
00:21:49,247 --> 00:21:52,444
Lionel, if we're to believe the then,
we have to take the now
357
00:21:52,487 --> 00:21:55,126
and believe now is still halfway then.
358
00:21:56,447 --> 00:21:57,436
Judy?
359
00:21:57,487 --> 00:22:00,797
You've got to come across
as a bit of an old dog.
360
00:22:00,847 --> 00:22:04,157
- Leap in the imagination.
- Which is where you come in, Jean.
361
00:22:04,207 --> 00:22:09,486
What do you want me to do?
Follow him around saying, "He's an old dog"?
362
00:22:09,527 --> 00:22:14,317
Don't get me wrong, Jean. As you know,
I think you're one helluva lady, hm?
363
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:17,962
But for the sake of the book,
I don't want you to follow him around at all.
364
00:22:18,967 --> 00:22:21,162
- Oh, I see.
- Alistair!
365
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,005
I'm not talking people, I'm talking business.
366
00:22:24,047 --> 00:22:27,323
- And I know the difference.
- I don't know what anyone's talking about.
367
00:22:27,367 --> 00:22:32,361
Being followed around by a lady of mature years
would do nothing for the old-dog image.
368
00:22:32,407 --> 00:22:34,682
- I see.
- No offence, Jean.
369
00:22:34,727 --> 00:22:37,685
- As you say, it's business.
- In that case, bugger business.
370
00:22:39,527 --> 00:22:43,600
Follow me around? But for her, I'd have
packed the bloody thing in weeks ago.
371
00:22:43,647 --> 00:22:48,004
She's put up with my moaning,
she's given up her time to encourage me.
372
00:22:48,047 --> 00:22:52,757
She's even persuaded me that
your crack-brained ideas actually make sense.
373
00:22:52,807 --> 00:22:55,640
Well, maybe they do, but not this one, Alistair.
374
00:22:56,647 --> 00:23:01,038
If Jean has the will or the stamina or the time
to help me try and sell this damn book,
375
00:23:01,087 --> 00:23:05,797
then all I will feel is gratitude
and you'd better get used to it.
376
00:23:06,807 --> 00:23:10,197
Oh, and I'll feel something else, as well,
and that's proud.
377
00:23:11,847 --> 00:23:15,442
Right, now I'm ready to eat.
May we see a menu, please?
378
00:23:23,967 --> 00:23:27,164
- Sure you don't fancy coming on somewhere?
- No, thanks.
379
00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:29,402
We'd be asleep by the time we got there.
380
00:23:29,447 --> 00:23:32,837
Then we'd wake up, go inside
and fall asleep again.
381
00:23:32,887 --> 00:23:36,163
See you for the book launch, then.
Both of you.
382
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:39,199
- With my walking frame.
- And I'll wear the suit.
383
00:23:39,247 --> 00:23:41,715
You're starting to like it, aren't you?
384
00:23:41,767 --> 00:23:43,917
- No, I'll just wear it.
- Good.
385
00:23:43,967 --> 00:23:46,765
- See you both.
- Night, Mum.
386
00:23:46,807 --> 00:23:48,798
Good night, you.
387
00:23:52,527 --> 00:23:56,156
Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you both.
Aunt Penny phoned.
388
00:23:56,207 --> 00:23:58,163
She found Lionel's watch.
389
00:23:58,207 --> 00:24:00,277
It was under your bed, apparently.
390
00:24:02,927 --> 00:24:04,724
Night-night.
391
00:24:17,767 --> 00:24:21,316
- You dropping off?
- Too many late nights.
392
00:24:21,367 --> 00:24:23,358
Have you had many recently?
393
00:24:23,407 --> 00:24:25,204
Just tonight.
394
00:24:28,207 --> 00:24:31,961
- Quite a speech you made in that restaurant.
- I just said what I thought.
395
00:24:32,007 --> 00:24:34,760
I know, that's why it was quite a speech.
396
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:37,924
Sorry I was so ratty
about the freebie and the cruise.
397
00:24:37,967 --> 00:24:42,006
- Probably won't come off.
- Well, if it does, I'm your shipmate.
398
00:24:43,207 --> 00:24:46,040
I was offered a timeshare in Marbella
this afternoon.
399
00:24:46,087 --> 00:24:47,679
- Oh, yes?
- Mm.
400
00:24:47,727 --> 00:24:52,517
Nothing like that. I don't get those offers now.
No, he wanted me to bring the hubby along.
401
00:24:52,567 --> 00:24:56,162
- Hubby?
- Yes. He was that kind of chap.
402
00:24:56,207 --> 00:25:00,405
- He referred to women as "little ladies".
- Which hospital's he in?
403
00:25:00,447 --> 00:25:03,644
No, I hit him where it really hurt - in his wallet.
404
00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:07,198
Used you to get that sort of offer?
405
00:25:07,247 --> 00:25:08,965
Sometimes.
406
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:12,079
- Did you ever...
- Mind your own business!
407
00:25:13,087 --> 00:25:16,875
No, I didn't. It was the young woman
alone in business.
408
00:25:16,927 --> 00:25:20,636
- You know, the fair game syndrome.
- It's called sexual harassment now.
409
00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:25,522
- Oh, gosh, you're moving with the times.
- I heard it from the town crier!
410
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:29,321
- What was it called in those days?
- Putting up with it.
411
00:25:29,367 --> 00:25:33,918
See, when he died, David didn't leave
much money. There was Judith.
412
00:25:33,967 --> 00:25:38,597
I just started here.
Me and a telephone and a typewriter.
413
00:25:38,647 --> 00:25:41,366
It's probably in the British Museum by now.
414
00:25:41,407 --> 00:25:44,001
- But you made it.
- Yes.
415
00:25:44,967 --> 00:25:48,676
Do you know the highest compliment
a male client thinks he can pay me?
416
00:25:48,727 --> 00:25:52,322
"My God, you're as tough as a man."
417
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:58,800
If we hadn't lost touch,
if things had worked out right...
418
00:25:59,807 --> 00:26:02,844
would you have wanted
to go into business then?
419
00:26:02,887 --> 00:26:04,878
Would you have wanted me to?
420
00:26:04,927 --> 00:26:07,316
After this conversation,
that's a leading question.
421
00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:09,164
I know.
422
00:26:10,167 --> 00:26:12,158
No, I wouldn't.
423
00:26:12,207 --> 00:26:14,004
No, I thought not.
424
00:26:14,047 --> 00:26:17,039
- Would you have wanted to?
- That's a leading question.
425
00:26:17,087 --> 00:26:19,282
It was my turn.
426
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:21,443
All right, then, no.
427
00:26:21,487 --> 00:26:27,278
I would have cooked the meals for us and our
15 children and become a Mother Earth figure.
428
00:26:27,327 --> 00:26:29,158
Don't tell anyone I said that.
429
00:26:31,367 --> 00:26:32,846
- Oh!
- Oh, God.
430
00:26:32,887 --> 00:26:35,924
What are we going to do
about that smirk on Judith's face?
431
00:26:35,967 --> 00:26:38,162
- Questions will be asked.
- Not in the House?
432
00:26:38,207 --> 00:26:40,004
I sincerely hope not.
433
00:26:40,047 --> 00:26:43,483
Have you any constructive idea
what we should say?
434
00:26:44,887 --> 00:26:46,684
As a matter of fact, I have.
435
00:26:46,727 --> 00:26:51,676
Alistair does talk an awful lot of twaddle, but
he has one phrase that might come in handy.
436
00:26:51,727 --> 00:26:53,763
Hey, hey!
437
00:27:01,727 --> 00:27:04,287
# You must remember this
438
00:27:04,327 --> 00:27:06,921
# A kiss is still a kiss
439
00:27:06,967 --> 00:27:10,164
# A sigh is just a sigh
440
00:27:12,647 --> 00:27:16,003
# The fundamental things apply
441
00:27:16,047 --> 00:27:19,835
# As time goes by
442
00:27:23,367 --> 00:27:26,086
# And when two lovers woo
443
00:27:26,127 --> 00:27:28,721
# They still say I love you
444
00:27:28,767 --> 00:27:31,964
# On that you can rely
445
00:27:34,447 --> 00:27:38,645
# The world will always welcome lovers
446
00:27:40,167 --> 00:27:48,120
# As time goes by #
447
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:59,120
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