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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:20,927 --> 00:00:24,397
# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
6
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Oh, for...
7
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goodness' sake!
8
00:00:33,807 --> 00:00:35,604
Uhh!
9
00:00:38,607 --> 00:00:42,077
- He's not fighting someone in there, is he?
- I'll enquire.
10
00:00:43,647 --> 00:00:47,003
Ahem. Is sir all right in there?
11
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,242
No, sir is not all right in here.
12
00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:53,041
Sir is hot and sick and tired
of getting in and out of suits
13
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,885
and taking his shoes off
and putting them back on again.
14
00:00:55,927 --> 00:01:00,000
Sir is becoming claustrophobic
and completely brassed off.
15
00:01:00,047 --> 00:01:02,038
Well, that was an outburst.
16
00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:03,884
- Railing.
- I beg your pardon?
17
00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:06,964
- Railing. He does that sometimes.
- About trying on suits?
18
00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:09,999
Oh, about anything.
You name it, he can rail against it.
19
00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:12,242
I wouldn't like his blood pressure.
20
00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:15,040
Once he's had a good rail,
he's quite himself again.
21
00:01:17,047 --> 00:01:19,880
I don't like being discussed
when I'm behind a curtain.
22
00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:22,361
You make that sound like a regular occurrence.
23
00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:24,363
Would sir like a glass of water?
24
00:01:24,407 --> 00:01:29,879
- No, sir would prefer a pint of best bitter.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think...
25
00:01:31,687 --> 00:01:34,918
- I might be able to find a sherry.
- I was joking.
26
00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:38,482
See? He's had a good rail
and now he's himself again - joking.
27
00:01:38,527 --> 00:01:41,599
- Well, what do you think?
- Very smart.
28
00:01:42,647 --> 00:01:44,444
- Yes.
- Is that an opinion?
29
00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:45,476
Yes.
30
00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:48,519
- What does it mean?
- Ye... es.
31
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,364
- Yes, but?
- No.
32
00:01:51,127 --> 00:01:53,687
Er... yes, it's just the job?
33
00:01:53,727 --> 00:01:55,046
No, no.
34
00:01:55,927 --> 00:02:00,921
I appreciate your giving up a Saturday morning
but I assumed you'd bring an opinion with you.
35
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:03,162
Yes, well, it's hard to put into words.
36
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,960
- There isn't time for you to write me a letter.
- Very nice.
37
00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:07,520
Very smart.
38
00:02:08,527 --> 00:02:10,722
In its own way.
39
00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:12,803
It's just a bit, um...
40
00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:15,042
- A bit...
- Go on.
41
00:02:15,087 --> 00:02:17,681
...banker-ish.
- Oh, I'd take that as high praise.
42
00:02:17,727 --> 00:02:20,799
- Well, I wouldn't. Do you mean boring?
- No.
43
00:02:20,847 --> 00:02:23,236
- What do you mean?
- Banker-ish.
44
00:02:23,287 --> 00:02:28,236
- I'm sure I could find you a glass of sherry.
- No, let's not lose the thrust of this argument.
45
00:02:28,287 --> 00:02:31,006
It isn't an argument.
If the suit was for you, I'd know.
46
00:02:31,047 --> 00:02:34,039
- You mean the suit isn't for sir?
- Of course it is.
47
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,965
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
48
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:41,000
- If it was for me? It is for me.
- But you as an author, you at a book launch.
49
00:02:41,047 --> 00:02:44,483
You signing copies,
you making personal appearances.
50
00:02:44,527 --> 00:02:47,519
Oh, a celebrity. What's the book called, sir?
51
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:51,082
- My Life In Kenya.
- What's it about?
52
00:02:53,247 --> 00:02:56,239
Curiously enough, it's about my life in Kenya.
53
00:02:56,287 --> 00:02:58,482
Oh, non-fiction.
54
00:02:58,527 --> 00:03:00,199
I'm afraid so.
55
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:05,840
Well, come on, help me look like a writer,
albeit of non-fiction.
56
00:03:05,887 --> 00:03:08,685
What does Alistair say?
57
00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:13,755
Well, I brought his folder with me
but I was hoping it would only be a last resort.
58
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:18,085
Right.
59
00:03:18,127 --> 00:03:22,325
Clothes, clothes... No. "Interviews, sex..."
60
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:25,359
- Sex?
- He believe in covering everything.
61
00:03:25,407 --> 00:03:29,400
- Er... clothes, here we are.
- Is this going to be helpful to us, sir?
62
00:03:29,447 --> 00:03:31,483
It's gibberish.
63
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,444
- I'm afraid I don't understand it.
- Give it to me.
64
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:40,764
- It's perfectly plain.
- Well, perhaps you could translate.
65
00:03:40,807 --> 00:03:42,604
Well...
66
00:03:42,647 --> 00:03:46,162
Yes, well, what Alistair is saying is, um...
67
00:03:46,207 --> 00:03:48,675
- Yes?
- Just a minute.
68
00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,877
Is... smart...
69
00:03:52,527 --> 00:03:55,917
...but not too smart. Oh, stylish...
70
00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:57,764
but not too stylish.
71
00:03:57,807 --> 00:03:59,957
Informal, but not too informal?
72
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,918
- I'm lost.
- So am I.
73
00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:04,959
Perhaps we could find that glass of sherry.
74
00:04:06,887 --> 00:04:10,482
- I don't like being patronised.
- Not you, the assistant.
75
00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:13,917
- I mean, all the trouble he went to.
- At least he gets paid for it.
76
00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:16,959
- I had to put up with it for nothing.
- He didn't sell a suit.
77
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,726
- I bought a tie.
- It's not the same.
78
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,964
- Obviously it's not the same.
- What will you do about the suit?
79
00:04:23,007 --> 00:04:25,567
- Save money, not buy one.
- Oh.
80
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:29,680
This vast book-buying public Alistair
chunters on about will have to take me as I am.
81
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,197
You make it sound like a threat.
You will be cheerful, won't you?
82
00:04:33,247 --> 00:04:36,045
Unbearably. I shall grin all the time like this...
83
00:04:36,087 --> 00:04:37,805
Stop it, Lionel.
84
00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:43,198
Lionel, stop it!
85
00:04:45,047 --> 00:04:47,242
Oh, Lionel, stop!
86
00:04:48,647 --> 00:04:51,207
Stop, Lionel. Lionel!
87
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,446
Stop it! Just stop it!
88
00:04:58,607 --> 00:05:01,405
I'm not sure I like this now.
89
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:04,245
If you're thinking of taking it back,
you'll go alone.
90
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:06,084
I probably shan't.
91
00:05:06,127 --> 00:05:10,678
I think the chap in the shop probably deserves
the rest of the day to be a peaceful one.
92
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,718
I think he deserves a medal.
93
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,962
You never make any comment about my coffee.
94
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:19,406
Should I?
95
00:05:19,447 --> 00:05:23,042
You owned a coffee plantation in Kenya
for the best part of your life.
96
00:05:23,087 --> 00:05:25,885
Oh, I see. Well... it's jolly nice.
97
00:05:25,927 --> 00:05:29,442
Jolly nice? That's the sort of thing
the vicar would say.
98
00:05:29,487 --> 00:05:32,524
Does he often pop round here for coffee, then?
99
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:34,717
I was speaking figuratively.
100
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:39,045
You wouldn't want a dissertation on the bean
and the blend every time I have coffee?
101
00:05:39,087 --> 00:05:41,521
Not a dissertation, just an informed opinion.
102
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,762
Oh, all right.
103
00:05:50,407 --> 00:05:52,204
Excuse me!
104
00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:55,316
Well?
105
00:05:56,327 --> 00:05:58,124
It's jolly nice.
106
00:05:58,167 --> 00:06:01,125
And it wasn't the best part of my life in Kenya,
you know.
107
00:06:01,167 --> 00:06:03,158
Major, but not the best.
108
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:08,040
A tiny time with you 38 years ago,
that was the best part of my life.
109
00:06:08,087 --> 00:06:10,282
Are you chatting me up?
110
00:06:10,327 --> 00:06:12,318
Yes, I suppose I am.
111
00:06:13,327 --> 00:06:17,002
- Now, about this sex thing.
- What sex thing?
112
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,322
- Well, Alistair's folder.
- Oh.
113
00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:24,155
How to be an author in ten easy lessons.
You said there was a bit about sex.
114
00:06:24,207 --> 00:06:27,199
- It isn't instructions.
- Oh, dash!
115
00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:29,966
- What does he say?
- See for yourself.
116
00:06:30,887 --> 00:06:34,880
- Do you mind if I pour another cup of your...
- ...jolly nice coffee.
117
00:06:38,727 --> 00:06:40,922
I knew you'd laugh.
118
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,322
Well, it isn't you, is it?
119
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:45,403
- Is it?!
- Of course it isn't.
120
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,439
He wants you to come over
as a bit of an old ram.
121
00:06:48,487 --> 00:06:52,480
Well, I could buy a T-shirt
with "Sex Machine" printed across it.
122
00:06:52,527 --> 00:06:57,203
- That's not very subtle, is it?
- Subtlety isn't a word I associate with Alistair.
123
00:06:57,247 --> 00:07:00,319
- He only wants you to hint at it.
- What, leer a lot?
124
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:03,837
Just suggest that your personal life is steamed
without saying it.
125
00:07:03,887 --> 00:07:07,482
- Leer reflectively.
- No, smile mischievously.
126
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,846
- What?
- Yes.
127
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:13,165
If pressed on a ticklish subject,
smile a little mischievously and say, "Hey, hey"
128
00:07:13,207 --> 00:07:16,483
and your potential readers will think "Ho, ho!"
129
00:07:17,487 --> 00:07:21,480
- It isn't me, all this, is it?
- Well, it could be. It's easy enough.
130
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:24,087
- Go on, then, show me.
- I didn't say I could do it.
131
00:07:24,127 --> 00:07:26,846
- You said it was easy.
- Well, it...
132
00:07:26,887 --> 00:07:29,355
All right, it's sort of... sort of, um...
133
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,967
Oh...
134
00:07:35,607 --> 00:07:39,646
That was rather good. What were you
thinking about to make you smile like that?
135
00:07:39,687 --> 00:07:41,723
Gooseberry fool.
136
00:07:42,847 --> 00:07:45,441
I didn't have to carry on like this to sell coffee.
137
00:07:45,487 --> 00:07:47,000
It's not quite the same thing.
138
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:50,244
- I know, I know.
- Hm, that's nice.
139
00:07:50,287 --> 00:07:54,075
- But it won't work, you know.
- What kind of an attitude is that?
140
00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:58,564
Realistic. My Life In Kenya, it's a dull book.
141
00:07:58,607 --> 00:08:01,405
I imagine it might sell marginally more copies
142
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:04,837
than something called
The Anatomy Of A Wireworm.
143
00:08:04,887 --> 00:08:07,685
You've read it, what's your honest opinion?
144
00:08:07,727 --> 00:08:11,436
- Well...
- Well, that's a hesitant start.
145
00:08:11,487 --> 00:08:15,480
Look, just let me finish. It's, um...
Well, it's interesting, isn't it, Judy?
146
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,995
- Yes. And, um...
- Yes. And authentic.
147
00:08:18,047 --> 00:08:20,436
- Yes. Informative.
- Yes.
148
00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:22,079
- Dull?
- Yes.
149
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,687
- A bit.
- Well, you did ask.
150
00:08:24,727 --> 00:08:27,719
Which brings us to one inevitable point.
151
00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:32,925
Why the hell did Alistair ever choose
to publish it in the first place?
152
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:36,721
- Alistair's still not in his office.
- Do you have his home number?
153
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,564
Certainly not. Don't you?
154
00:08:38,607 --> 00:08:40,802
- Certainly not.
- Judith might.
155
00:08:40,847 --> 00:08:43,441
I can't ask her.
She stayed the night with friends.
156
00:08:43,487 --> 00:08:47,480
- Why this rush to get hold of Alistair, anyway?
- Oh, well, it's Lionel.
157
00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:52,998
Look... you've read his book.
What do you honestly think?
158
00:08:53,047 --> 00:08:57,199
- My job doesn't depend on my answer?
- Well, I said be honest.
159
00:08:57,247 --> 00:09:01,399
Well... if it was between reading the book
and counting sheep...
160
00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:03,165
Yes, quite.
161
00:09:04,207 --> 00:09:06,675
Lionel's no fool. He knows that.
162
00:09:06,727 --> 00:09:10,197
But now he wants to know
why Alistair ever chose to publish it.
163
00:09:10,247 --> 00:09:14,604
We all know that. A bit of non-fiction
is good for a publisher's respectability.
164
00:09:14,647 --> 00:09:17,639
I know, but will Lionel find that flattering?
165
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:21,396
I mean, I know him
and for all his feigned indifference,
166
00:09:21,447 --> 00:09:23,677
he really cares about the book.
167
00:09:25,447 --> 00:09:29,156
If I didn't know you better,
I'd say you were falling in love again.
168
00:09:29,207 --> 00:09:32,404
You don't know me better.
Try Alistair's office again, please.
169
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:38,317
Yes. I know one thing. You're much livelier
since Lionel turned up again.
170
00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:40,039
Livelier?
171
00:09:41,127 --> 00:09:47,475
Oh, hello again. It's Miss Pargetter's secretary.
Is Mr Deacon back yet? He is?
172
00:09:47,527 --> 00:09:49,597
May I? Thank you.
173
00:09:49,647 --> 00:09:52,115
- The whizz kid's whizzed in.
- Thank goodness.
174
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:55,716
Hello, Alistair. Ye... Yes, I'm fine.
175
00:09:55,767 --> 00:10:00,124
- Now, look, Alistair, it's about Lionel...
- Judy's already talked to me.
176
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,476
Oh. Has she?
177
00:10:04,007 --> 00:10:06,077
No, I didn't know.
178
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:09,324
Mind? No. Why should I mind?
179
00:10:10,407 --> 00:10:13,126
Yes, right. Bye, Alistair.
180
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,362
Yes, ciao to you, too. Bye.
181
00:10:16,927 --> 00:10:20,237
- Judy's spoken to him already.
- She must've been up early.
182
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:24,758
She didn't need to. He was the "friend"
she stayed with last night.
183
00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:26,399
Ho ho!
184
00:10:26,447 --> 00:10:29,837
Hm. Ho ho, indeed.
185
00:10:29,887 --> 00:10:31,878
You didn't say that very joyfully.
186
00:10:31,927 --> 00:10:34,316
What do you want me to do?
Dance on the desk?
187
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,846
He's only a bloke.
188
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:39,038
That's like saying a wolf
is only a sort of poodle.
189
00:10:39,087 --> 00:10:42,238
- Well, if you ask me...
- What was it I used to do here?
190
00:10:42,287 --> 00:10:45,359
Oh, yes, I know,
I used to run a secretarial agency.
191
00:10:45,407 --> 00:10:50,606
- Your hints drop like boulders on butterflies.
- Spread your wings, get on with some work.
192
00:10:53,607 --> 00:10:56,997
Sorry to keep you waiting, mate.
I've been on the phone sorting out Italy.
193
00:10:57,047 --> 00:11:00,801
Italians have been trying to do that for years.
Formed a government yet?
194
00:11:00,847 --> 00:11:03,042
Something much bigger than that.
195
00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,123
I've got a hot author in Rome.
196
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:11,116
- So, what do you think of the new office?
- Very impressive.
197
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,762
- It's not as I'd imagined. It's not bookish.
- That was yesterday.
198
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,765
I thought it might be.
There's no paper anywhere.
199
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:21,595
- I commit very little to paper, Li.
- Odd thing for a publisher to say.
200
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:23,842
- I'm a laptop man.
- Are you?
201
00:11:23,887 --> 00:11:27,482
- Laptop computer. You should get one.
- No, thanks.
202
00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:30,724
I'm still very happy with my quill pen.
203
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,842
- Iced tea?
- Certainly not.
204
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:37,322
Oh. No, thank you.
205
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:39,756
- Lemon tea?
- No, thank you.
206
00:11:41,007 --> 00:11:42,486
FT?
207
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,324
No comment.
208
00:11:45,127 --> 00:11:48,722
- Nice one, Li.
- I'm sure you've got all of Europe to sort out.
209
00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:52,840
- Can I say what I came to say?
- Of course. Sit down and fire both barrels.
210
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,566
Why are you publishing my book?
211
00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:58,802
It's what I do.
212
00:11:58,847 --> 00:12:01,998
You haven't got rich
by publishing books like mine.
213
00:12:02,047 --> 00:12:07,041
I didn't say I had. I publish books like yours, Li,
and I'm being mega frank here,
214
00:12:07,087 --> 00:12:09,999
because it makes me feel better.
215
00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:13,642
Are you claiming that my book
has some kind of curative powers?
216
00:12:13,687 --> 00:12:17,600
I'm claiming books like yours
are real books. Hm?
217
00:12:17,647 --> 00:12:21,037
They're not the trash that make the bucks.
218
00:12:21,087 --> 00:12:23,476
Books like yours will last for years.
219
00:12:24,247 --> 00:12:28,843
The sort of book that...
my old man used to publish.
220
00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:30,366
Oh.
221
00:12:31,407 --> 00:12:33,557
All fears laid to rest?
222
00:12:33,607 --> 00:12:37,282
Yes, I suppose so. Thanks for being honest.
223
00:12:38,327 --> 00:12:41,637
- The corners of your mouth have gone down.
- Conceit.
224
00:12:41,687 --> 00:12:44,281
I don't suppose anybody's proud
to be a tax loss.
225
00:12:45,327 --> 00:12:50,401
You do pull some funny cherries out of the bag.
Who said anything about you being a tax loss?
226
00:12:50,447 --> 00:12:53,757
It may be a proper book
but it's not going to sell, is it?
227
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,923
- Not mega, no.
- Not even mini.
228
00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:58,765
We won't know that
until we hit the bookshelves.
229
00:12:58,807 --> 00:13:02,083
- Incidentally, have you bought that suit yet?
- No.
230
00:13:02,127 --> 00:13:04,118
You're not gonna fight me on this one?
231
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:09,002
No, it's just that neither I or nor the salesman
could make any sense of your description.
232
00:13:09,047 --> 00:13:12,756
Strange. No problem, I'll send you to my guy.
233
00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:17,835
- We're talking about a different price range.
- Still no problem. He owes me a favour.
234
00:13:17,887 --> 00:13:21,960
- I set him up in the first place.
- I see.
235
00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,162
How's the sex?
236
00:13:25,207 --> 00:13:26,925
I bet your pardon?
237
00:13:26,967 --> 00:13:31,563
The "hey, hey". The "boy, did I steam
but I'm not telling you" bit.
238
00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:34,041
Oh, that bit. I'm working on it.
239
00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:38,046
Great. Well, I'm sorry to be a party-pooper...
240
00:13:38,087 --> 00:13:40,123
Oh... yes, of course.
241
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,476
- Love to Jean.
- Thanks.
242
00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:46,315
- Any movement on that front, by the way?
- Oh... yes.
243
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,516
Oh?
244
00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:51,401
Yes, we've started calling each other
by our first names.
245
00:13:55,407 --> 00:13:57,443
- I didn't drag you out, did I?
- No.
246
00:13:57,487 --> 00:14:02,083
- Nice to have someone to have lunch with.
- What about all those business lunches?
247
00:14:02,127 --> 00:14:05,836
They're not really lunches,
just sit-down sparring matches.
248
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,685
There's a seat. Are you good at sparring?
249
00:14:08,727 --> 00:14:11,287
I am now. I wasn't when I started.
250
00:14:11,327 --> 00:14:13,795
Oh, damn and blast.
251
00:14:14,807 --> 00:14:18,004
When we were young,
we had a trick for clearing park benches.
252
00:14:18,047 --> 00:14:19,844
So we did.
253
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:23,804
- So we did.
- No, I don't mean do it.
254
00:14:23,847 --> 00:14:26,805
Think of it as striking a blow for the aged.
255
00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:11,758
Silliest thing I've done in years.
256
00:15:11,807 --> 00:15:14,526
- We did it rather well, didn't we?
- Yes, we did.
257
00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:17,365
- Glad you haven't forgotten how to be so silly.
- So am I.
258
00:15:17,407 --> 00:15:20,604
- Don't expect it to become a way of life.
- Oh, no.
259
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,318
- Cheese or ham?
- Ham.
260
00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:24,925
Oh.
261
00:15:28,287 --> 00:15:31,836
- I went to see Alistair this morning.
- Oh?
262
00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:35,325
I asked him what he would call
the mega question.
263
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,916
Why would he choose to publish
what is a very ordinary book?
264
00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:42,676
- Did you get the right answer?
- Quite a convincing one.
265
00:15:42,727 --> 00:15:46,037
- Course, he'd had time to rehearse it.
- I'm not with you.
266
00:15:46,087 --> 00:15:48,078
He'd been nobbled, got at.
267
00:15:49,087 --> 00:15:52,557
- Did Alistair say that?
- He was too ready. You got to him first.
268
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:54,757
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
269
00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:56,286
- Judy did.
- Ah.
270
00:15:56,327 --> 00:15:57,999
I just tried to.
271
00:15:58,047 --> 00:16:01,960
If you're going to get precious about that,
eat your lunch on another bench.
272
00:16:02,007 --> 00:16:04,202
- I have my pride.
- Off you go.
273
00:16:04,247 --> 00:16:06,841
- Oh, don't be absurd.
- Very well, I'll go.
274
00:16:24,607 --> 00:16:27,405
- You've got my sandwich.
- I've got all the sandwiches.
275
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:31,520
- Oh, come back here.
- No, I'm very happy here, thank you.
276
00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:48,842
Look, I only said I've got my pride.
277
00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:51,003
You made it sound like the VC.
278
00:16:51,047 --> 00:16:53,242
If you must know...
279
00:16:53,287 --> 00:16:56,279
...I'm rather touched that you tried to help.
280
00:16:56,327 --> 00:16:58,443
Oh... are you?
281
00:16:58,487 --> 00:17:01,047
Yes, I am.
282
00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:07,199
Why not come back over there
and finish your lunch?
283
00:17:07,247 --> 00:17:09,078
All right.
284
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,359
Thanks.
285
00:17:25,327 --> 00:17:27,318
Pardon.
286
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:30,558
You're very interesting.
287
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:40,797
- Nice lunch?
- Oh, yes, very nice. Nice night?
288
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,321
Oh.
289
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:48,838
- You said you were staying with friends.
- Well... Alistair is a friend.
290
00:17:49,887 --> 00:17:53,118
Mum... it's not anything serious.
291
00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:56,159
Judy, men like Alistair...
292
00:17:57,287 --> 00:17:59,482
Yes? Go on.
293
00:17:59,527 --> 00:18:03,725
I can't finish the sentence.
I don't know any men like Alistair.
294
00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:06,918
- Well, there you are, then.
- You haven't proved anything.
295
00:18:06,967 --> 00:18:08,958
- Neither have you.
- True.
296
00:18:09,007 --> 00:18:14,035
Come on, be fair. I mean, you're going out
with a bit of a one-off yourself.
297
00:18:14,087 --> 00:18:16,806
That probably means we're both peculiar.
298
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:20,237
- He's more sensitive than you think, you know.
- I know he is.
299
00:18:20,287 --> 00:18:22,881
I'm sure he let Lionel down very gently.
300
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,964
Yes, he did.
Well, good, that's got all that sorted out.
301
00:18:28,047 --> 00:18:30,242
I've been thinking about Lionel.
302
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:33,120
What is this strange power
he has over women?
303
00:18:33,167 --> 00:18:35,283
I wonder. What have you been thinking?
304
00:18:35,327 --> 00:18:38,717
Well, we all know why Alistair's
publishing the book
305
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:41,918
but why is he personally
taking so much trouble with it?
306
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:44,561
- He's a pro.
- He's a rich pro.
307
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:48,998
Exactly. So why does he make the time
to act like Lionel's personal manager?
308
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:53,757
He's always there for him.
A rich pro helping him, pushing him?
309
00:18:53,807 --> 00:18:58,005
A rich pro would delegate that
to some junior nobody... like me.
310
00:18:58,047 --> 00:19:02,438
Why put so much effort into a book that
he expects to make tuppence-ha'penny?
311
00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:06,881
Well, it's just a thought.
312
00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:09,487
Let's hope Lionel doesn't have
the same thought.
313
00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:13,520
- Yes, let's.
- About this secretarial agency you run.
314
00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:17,276
- The one with the risk-taking secretary?
- That's the one.
315
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:19,283
I wonder if you could sign these.
316
00:19:19,327 --> 00:19:20,919
Hm.
317
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:24,758
You put "Jean Pargetter"!
318
00:19:31,647 --> 00:19:35,435
- Nice to see you again, mate!
- It's good of you to make the time, Alistair.
319
00:19:35,487 --> 00:19:39,685
- I've always got time for you.
- That's what bothers me. You shouldn't have.
320
00:19:39,727 --> 00:19:43,356
- Come again?
- I am a minor author.
321
00:19:43,407 --> 00:19:46,604
- Let's qualify that.
- No, let's not. I'm not a complete fool.
322
00:19:46,647 --> 00:19:50,242
- May I sit down?
- Sure, but to be, like, super-honest, I...
323
00:19:50,287 --> 00:19:54,075
Don't worry, I shall come, like,
super-fast to the point.
324
00:19:58,087 --> 00:20:00,043
Shoot.
325
00:20:00,087 --> 00:20:04,877
You told me why you're publishing the book,
which I can just about make myself believe,
326
00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:09,398
but why the hell are you personally putting
so much time and effort into it, into me?
327
00:20:10,447 --> 00:20:13,439
- I like you.
- Alistair, to do what you're doing,
328
00:20:13,487 --> 00:20:18,277
it wouldn't be enough to like me, you'd have to
be madly in love with me. You're not, are you?
329
00:20:19,967 --> 00:20:22,003
I'm not bi, Li.
330
00:20:23,007 --> 00:20:28,286
No. Then tell me the truth. And I warn you,
I'm going to sit here until you do.
331
00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:32,642
- The truth can sometimes be a bit painful.
- So can clich�s.
332
00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:36,646
- Iced tea?
- No, thank you. Just the truth.
333
00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:39,919
Right.
334
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:41,764
The truth.
335
00:20:52,327 --> 00:20:54,318
I thought you liked that.
336
00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:56,164
Oh, I do.
337
00:20:56,207 --> 00:20:59,244
Not that I expected to send you
into absolute raptures.
338
00:20:59,287 --> 00:21:01,596
I'm sorry. I was just thinking.
339
00:21:01,647 --> 00:21:03,956
About last night?
340
00:21:04,007 --> 00:21:05,998
Yes, of course.
341
00:21:09,927 --> 00:21:12,236
Well, it's a lovely evening.
342
00:21:12,287 --> 00:21:15,723
Why don't we drive up the river somewhere
to eat?
343
00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:19,198
OK.
344
00:21:19,247 --> 00:21:21,966
Maybe go on somewhere afterwards.
345
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:24,759
OK.
346
00:21:24,807 --> 00:21:27,526
Singapore's nice at this time of year.
347
00:21:28,807 --> 00:21:30,923
OK.
348
00:21:30,967 --> 00:21:35,358
- Did you just say Singapore?
- I admit I was trying to gain your attention.
349
00:21:35,407 --> 00:21:38,604
- Alistair, can I ask you something?
- Of course.
350
00:21:38,647 --> 00:21:40,638
It's a bit personal.
351
00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:43,842
Excellent.
352
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:47,084
- It's about Lionel.
- Oh, look, I...
353
00:21:47,127 --> 00:21:52,724
How can I put this? Just for one day,
I'm up to here with Lionel, hm?
354
00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:06,435
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!
355
00:22:06,487 --> 00:22:09,206
Quiet, be quiet, get down!
356
00:22:09,247 --> 00:22:11,238
- Who is it?
- It's me.
357
00:22:11,287 --> 00:22:13,881
Oh, just a minute.
358
00:22:20,167 --> 00:22:22,761
Should I have brought a bone with me?
359
00:22:23,807 --> 00:22:26,958
- Good deterrent, dogs.
- Yes.
360
00:22:27,007 --> 00:22:28,998
Does it attack on command?
361
00:22:29,047 --> 00:22:31,515
How did you know
that wasn't a dog from outside?
362
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:35,719
Something to do with the click at the beginning
and the click at the end.
363
00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:38,235
Must give that some thought.
364
00:22:38,287 --> 00:22:42,075
- Why are you here all alone?
- I've got some work to catch up on.
365
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:45,597
- There's more to life than being successful.
- I'm not trying to be.
366
00:22:45,647 --> 00:22:49,640
I'm catching up on work because
I spent the day being preoccupied by you.
367
00:22:49,687 --> 00:22:52,724
- You saw me at lunch time.
- I didn't say missing you.
368
00:22:53,327 --> 00:22:56,524
I know... but there's really no need.
369
00:22:56,567 --> 00:23:02,881
I found Alistair's description of my book being
the dull but respectable one quite satisfactory.
370
00:23:02,927 --> 00:23:04,918
- Did you?
- Yes.
371
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:07,559
Did you?
372
00:23:07,607 --> 00:23:10,326
Yes. So you're quite happy about it?
373
00:23:10,367 --> 00:23:13,564
- Almost sublimely.
- You're not, I can tell.
374
00:23:13,607 --> 00:23:18,203
Well, perhaps "sublimely" is an overstatement.
375
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:24,086
I asked Alistair another question this afternoon.
376
00:23:24,127 --> 00:23:26,118
- Oh?
- Yes.
377
00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:29,364
Not the half why, the whole why.
378
00:23:30,487 --> 00:23:33,126
Oh. And?
379
00:23:35,687 --> 00:23:38,838
How shall I put this? I'm a favour.
380
00:23:38,887 --> 00:23:40,718
- A favour?
- Mm.
381
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:45,158
Alistair's father owed my father a favour
and I'm it.
382
00:23:46,567 --> 00:23:50,355
- Oh, I see.
- That's why Alistair's been looking after me.
383
00:23:50,407 --> 00:23:54,878
Oh. Did your father save
Alistair's father's life or something?
384
00:23:54,927 --> 00:23:59,523
In a way. He lent him L500 in 1947
to start up a publishing firm.
385
00:23:59,567 --> 00:24:02,764
Oh, what a lovely story!
386
00:24:02,807 --> 00:24:05,799
- Your father must love you.
- Yes, he must.
387
00:24:05,847 --> 00:24:09,283
- I could strangle him.
- There's gratitude.
388
00:24:09,327 --> 00:24:12,763
Patronising old bugger.
I'm not a child. I don't need his help.
389
00:24:12,807 --> 00:24:16,356
It won't do you any harm.
I wish I had someone to help me.
390
00:24:16,407 --> 00:24:18,398
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
391
00:24:18,447 --> 00:24:21,598
- I'm not with you.
- No, well, you know, parents.
392
00:24:21,647 --> 00:24:26,323
Even when you're, well, older,
you never stop missing them.
393
00:24:26,367 --> 00:24:29,564
You can't go to someone and say,
"What shall I do?"
394
00:24:29,607 --> 00:24:34,920
All my father ever did if I said
"What shall I do?" was say "Rock on."
395
00:24:34,967 --> 00:24:38,755
- He couldn't have said that before rock 'n' roll.
- Well, the equivalent.
396
00:24:38,807 --> 00:24:41,844
Now he wants to help you
without wanting you to know.
397
00:24:41,887 --> 00:24:45,243
- Yes, interfering old...
- Oh, stop it.
398
00:24:45,287 --> 00:24:48,199
- Just saying that cos your pride's hurt.
- No, it isn't.
399
00:24:48,247 --> 00:24:51,842
- Dented.
- All right, dented.
400
00:24:53,807 --> 00:24:56,446
- I'm here.
- Yes, I know that.
401
00:24:57,647 --> 00:25:01,162
If ever you wanted to say "What shall I do?"
402
00:25:01,207 --> 00:25:05,086
Oh, Lionel, that's very sweet.
403
00:25:05,127 --> 00:25:07,960
But I don't see you as a substitute father.
404
00:25:08,647 --> 00:25:12,117
- What do you see me as?
- Well, someone, um...
405
00:25:14,287 --> 00:25:16,847
- Someone... er...
- Yes?
406
00:25:17,847 --> 00:25:21,044
- It isn't as if you need the money.
- You're changing the subject.
407
00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:23,282
Yes, I know.
408
00:25:23,327 --> 00:25:26,000
- What money?
- The money from the book.
409
00:25:26,607 --> 00:25:30,077
Ah, well, that's the thing of it, you see.
410
00:25:30,127 --> 00:25:35,759
Kenya's a beautiful country but I reached that
stage in my life when I wanted to come home.
411
00:25:35,807 --> 00:25:39,004
And then I got the third-class lecture tour.
412
00:25:39,047 --> 00:25:41,925
- You know, waffling on about...
...my life in Kenya.
413
00:25:41,967 --> 00:25:47,963
That was all right, then I wrote the book and,
in my innocence, I thought that'll be all right.
414
00:25:48,007 --> 00:25:53,240
I wasn't looking to make a fortune, you see,
just, um, well, enough for me to get by, really.
415
00:25:53,287 --> 00:25:57,883
Unless you've been lying through your teeth,
you owned a coffee plantation in Kenya,
416
00:25:57,927 --> 00:25:59,724
assuming you sold the odd bean.
417
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:04,363
The only place I can spend the money
from the plantation in Kenya is Kenya.
418
00:26:04,407 --> 00:26:06,602
They moved the goalposts.
419
00:26:09,087 --> 00:26:11,282
Let's go and find something to eat.
420
00:26:13,167 --> 00:26:16,921
Yes, let's. Nowhere too expensive.
421
00:26:17,727 --> 00:26:22,437
- Just getting by isn't enough any more.
- Are you suggesting that I'm expensive?
422
00:26:22,487 --> 00:26:26,685
I'm suggesting that, for me,
getting by isn't enough any more.
423
00:26:27,327 --> 00:26:30,239
And I don't want to go back to Kenya.
424
00:26:30,287 --> 00:26:33,484
- Why?
- Oh, that's a pretty coy question.
425
00:26:33,527 --> 00:26:35,324
I'd like to know.
426
00:26:35,367 --> 00:26:40,760
Let's face it, we can't wait another 38 years
before we see each other again, can we?
427
00:26:49,047 --> 00:26:51,607
# You must remember this
428
00:26:51,647 --> 00:26:54,241
# A kiss is still a kiss
429
00:26:54,287 --> 00:26:57,484
# A sigh is just a sigh
430
00:26:59,967 --> 00:27:03,516
# The fundamental things apply
431
00:27:03,567 --> 00:27:07,162
# As time goes by
432
00:27:10,687 --> 00:27:13,406
# And when two lovers woo
433
00:27:13,447 --> 00:27:16,041
# They still say I love you
434
00:27:16,087 --> 00:27:19,079
# On that you can rely
435
00:27:21,767 --> 00:27:25,760
# The world will always welcome lovers
436
00:27:27,487 --> 00:27:35,440
# As time goes by #
437
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:46,440
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