Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:23,299
New York City, the world capital
of culture and industry.
2
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,300
Here, among the towering skyscrapers,
3
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,299
civilization is guided by men of progress
and the wonders of technology.
4
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:34,299
But for all this industrial advancement,
there is a price to pay.
5
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:38,800
Pollution. The unavoidable
byproduct of today's society.
6
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,299
Every year, millions of
gallons of poisonous wastes,
7
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:48,799
garbage, and radioactive chemicals
are disposed of in nearby towns
8
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:53,300
such as Tromaville, the toxic waste
dumping capital of the world.
9
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,999
Our story takes place at the Tromaville
Health Club
10
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,500
Where a young man named Melvin Furd works.
11
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,299
Melvin's entire life, in fact
12
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:06,800
entire being was
changed by toxic chemical waste.
13
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,300
Would you take a look at
that fucking guy?
14
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,300
Dumb mop boy can't even mop right.
15
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,299
He's so stupid!
16
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:41,300
He's always got that
shit-eating grin on his face.
17
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,300
What's he so happy about?
18
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:45,800
I hate that mop boy.
19
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,300
I think that creep is coming over here.
20
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:58,299
Julie, you smell something?
21
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:02,800
Ew! P-U! What's that stink?
22
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,800
Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing.
23
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,799
Melvin, clean up the toilet,
it stinks over here!
24
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,300
OK. I'll be right there!
25
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,299
Look what you did,
you fucking asshole!
26
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,299
Yeah, you fucking asshole!
27
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,799
- Hey, what are you, retarded?
- Huh? retarded?
28
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:29,300
I'm sorry!
29
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,299
Sorry, huh?
30
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,300
You want me to go and
get a fucking disease!
31
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,800
Yeah, you want her to go and
get a fucking disease?
32
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,299
I didn't mean it!
33
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,140
Aw, I didn't mean it.
34
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,800
Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take
this mop and shove it down your throat.
35
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,299
He is stressing me, Julie!
36
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,799
He is stressing me!
37
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,799
Oh, Bozo...
38
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,800
I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie.
He is screwing up my karma!
39
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,799
See what you did, you idiot?
See what you did!?
40
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,299
You've stressed Bozo!
41
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:06,299
I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it.
He was sitting there and I...
42
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,900
Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp!
43
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,300
Keep it up, Bozo.
Keep it up.
44
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,400
But remember,
45
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,300
there is only one muscle
you gotta worry about.
46
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,299
Hey, you know. I think you ought to
work a little bit on your gut.
47
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,300
You're getting a little bit
flabby there.
48
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,799
Where!? What are you talking about?
49
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,800
I don't got no fat!
There's no fat here. I don't got no f...
50
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,300
Fat! Fat!
51
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,799
Slug, are you sure
no one will come in?
52
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,799
I paid Tony 15 bucks.
53
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,300
He said the place is ours
until tomorrow morning.
54
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,799
Relax. You want a drink?
55
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,600
- Yeah.
- Alright.
56
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,299
Slug, can I come again next time
you and Bozo go driving?
57
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,199
If you want to, bad enough.
58
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,799
I love it when we go real fast.
59
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,299
And they never know what hit 'em.
60
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:41,399
They never believe we're
going to run 'em down.
61
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,399
We keep getting closer and closer.
62
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,699
And faster and faster.
63
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,999
They're just standing there and yeah.
64
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,199
We hit them!
65
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,199
I love the sound of breaking bones!
66
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,299
The car driving over them,
dragging their bodies.
67
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,799
All that beautiful blood!
68
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,799
Slug!
69
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,800
I want you, now.
70
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,300
Oh, Slug!
71
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,000
Oh, Slug!
72
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:33,000
Give it to me! Give it to me!
More! More!
73
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,000
Get out of here, you pervert!
74
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Or I'll kill ya!
75
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,299
Julie. Julie, the points.
The rules, what are they?
76
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,799
Let me see if I can
remember the whole list.
77
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:16,799
Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks,
78
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,300
they're all worth twenty-five points.
79
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,799
But Puerto Ricans, they're
worth thirty points.
80
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,300
Now kids under twelve
they're worth double points.
81
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,499
Skippy, don't forget your helmet.
82
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,500
OK, sis.
83
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,800
And be careful out there.
84
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,800
Julie, does it count if
I graze them?
85
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:49,500
You got to destroy them!
Bozo, I want them dead.
86
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,499
Now we're gonna get 'em.
87
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:59,000
Come on. Come on! Come on! Where the fuck is everybody?
Where the fuck is everybody?
88
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:08,499
How much is a kid on a bicycle?
89
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,220
Where?
90
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,300
Twenty-eight points if you
get both the kid and the bike?
91
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,200
Let's take a closer look.
92
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,799
Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he?
93
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,300
Out pretty late, aren't you, honey?
94
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,299
The coast is clear, Bozo.
95
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,800
We got him!
96
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,800
We're gonna kill him!
We're gonna get him!
97
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,499
Now you get full points!
98
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:10,000
No way! The kid's still moving!
99
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,300
We're not finished yet!
100
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,299
He's still moving, no way
you get full points.
101
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:20,800
No way, huh? No way?
I'll fucking show you no way.
102
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,800
Give me that!
Gibe me that!
103
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,799
Full points, my man!
104
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,300
Look at him!
Wow, oh my God!
105
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,100
These are gonna be the best shots
we've ever taken.
106
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,100
Yeah, this is fun!
107
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,600
These are great!
108
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,100
Show me your pretty pictures!
109
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,600
That was good!
That was good!
110
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,100
I want to do it again!
I want to do it again!
111
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,600
- Yeah, let's do it again!
- Yeah, let's go for it again!
112
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:27,099
No, no I can't.
I've got to go home.
113
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,099
What?
114
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,600
Well, I got to get up early
in the morning.
115
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,400
Got to go to church.
116
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:33,950
Oh!
117
00:10:39,148 --> 00:10:41,648
And up! Up! Up! Up!
118
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:44,674
Now kick! Out! Out! Out!
119
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,100
Now arms up! Stop. Stop.
120
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:50,799
That's really pitiful.
Just stop. Just stop a second.
121
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,799
Look how many times do
I have to tell you people?
122
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,300
Do exactly what I do.
123
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,599
If I kick my right foot,
you kick your right foot.
124
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,399
If I kick my left foot,
you kick your left foot.
125
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,499
Okay? Whatever I do,
you do exactly the same thing.
126
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:08,500
Okay? Now how about we start again?
You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing.
127
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,750
Okay guys, you know
what I'm talking about?
128
00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:15,000
Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's
get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey...
129
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,699
Watch what I'm doing here.
Watch how I hit this ball.
130
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,700
Are you watching me!?
Are you watching me!?
131
00:11:42,725 --> 00:11:45,285
I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it!
I'm going to kill it!
132
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:50,000
Aah!
I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in!
133
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:55,599
Bozo, it's okay. It's okay.
Hey, guys, come here.
134
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,100
Have I got a plan to fix
that mop boys wagon.
135
00:11:59,455 --> 00:12:00,650
Great!
What is it?
136
00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:02,641
Well...
137
00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:08,490
Hi, Melvin.
138
00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:10,100
Whoa!
139
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,024
Melvin. Melvin, it's okay.
It's okay.
140
00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:20,100
Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes, I
didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday.
141
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,099
Oh, that's okay, Julie.
I didn't really mind.
142
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,599
In fact, I was hoping
you could help me,
143
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,600
with a little problem.
I've been having.
144
00:12:27,825 --> 00:12:30,099
- Who, me?
- Yes but...
145
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,100
I can't talk about here
with all these people around.
146
00:12:33,607 --> 00:12:36,035
Hey, I got a great idea.
147
00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:38,213
Why don't you meet me
in the girls locker room?
148
00:12:38,911 --> 00:12:40,669
Girls' locker room?
149
00:12:40,732 --> 00:12:44,600
Yes.
Then we can discuss it alone.
150
00:12:45,092 --> 00:12:47,333
Oh, oh!
151
00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:51,333
Okay.
152
00:12:51,373 --> 00:12:53,380
Great! Let's say 7 o'clock.
153
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,534
Okay. That'll be good for me, too,
'cause I gotta to clean the toilets
154
00:12:56,549 --> 00:12:59,100
in there around that time anyway.
155
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:01,599
Good. It's a date. See you then.
156
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,600
Okay.
157
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:13,590
490... 491... 492...
158
00:13:15,491 --> 00:13:23,491
493... 494... 495...
159
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:28,313
Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell
for it. Hook line and sinker.
160
00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:29,000
Great!
161
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,599
We've been driving for
two whole hours.
162
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,205
Let's pull this rig over
and take a break.
163
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,611
Hey, the boss'll have our asses.
164
00:13:42,627 --> 00:13:44,838
You know he don't want us
to stop in habitated areas
165
00:13:44,853 --> 00:13:47,599
with this radioactive chemical
waste we got on the back.
166
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,296
It's dangerous. It's like that
cancerogenic stuff, you know.
167
00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:55,455
Hey Joey, you remember that dope
we were snorting last week?
168
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:59,752
- Do I?
- Well, buddy boy. Check this out.
169
00:13:59,845 --> 00:14:01,599
Holy shit! Why didn't you say so.
170
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,600
Let's pull it over!
171
00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:14,021
Julie.
172
00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:18,002
- Hi, Melvin.
- Hi, Julie.
173
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,041
Come in, don't be shy.
174
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,600
So, what was it that
you wanted me to help you with?
175
00:14:24,979 --> 00:14:27,099
- Well, it's about Bozo.
- Bozo?
176
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,099
Yeah, you see, I'm so sick
of the way he goes around
177
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,599
pushing people around all the time.
178
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,599
He's so immature.
179
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,100
In fact, I don't like to go out
with him anymore.
180
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,600
But I don't know quite
how to tell him.
181
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:45,599
In fact, Melvin, I think
you're handsome,
182
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:53,600
and sensitive and kind.
Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible.
183
00:14:55,871 --> 00:14:57,100
- Me?
- Yes.
184
00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:00,212
Melvin, I want to do it with you.
185
00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:00,977
Do it?
186
00:15:00,994 --> 00:15:01,884
Do it!
187
00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:02,742
Do what?
188
00:15:02,798 --> 00:15:04,099
Do it, Melvin, do it!
189
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,363
Do it? Okay.
190
00:15:07,722 --> 00:15:10,712
Wait a minute.
Have I got a great idea, Melvin.
191
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:11,719
What is it?
192
00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:13,100
We'll go down by the pool.
193
00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,907
And afterward we can take a cool dip.
194
00:15:16,446 --> 00:15:17,575
Alright.
195
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:20,841
There's one other little thing, Melvin.
196
00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:23,100
You're not wearing pink.
197
00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:26,600
- Pink?
- It's my favorite color.
198
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,073
I have my pink on.
199
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:34,599
So, I brought this for you.
200
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:39,600
- But this is sissy stuff.
- Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot.
201
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,100
- It does.
- Yes.
202
00:15:42,634 --> 00:15:46,942
If you put on your pink,
I'll take off my pink.
203
00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:56,600
- I love pink!
- Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you.
204
00:15:58,276 --> 00:16:00,432
- And bring your mop.
- I will!
205
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,599
- Julie?
- Here I am, Melvin.
206
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,295
It's so dark in here,
where are you? I can't see you
207
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:34,100
I'm right here, Melvin. Come here.
208
00:16:34,818 --> 00:16:37,100
My lips are waiting for you, Melvin.
209
00:16:37,842 --> 00:16:40,332
Whoa, put your arms around me.
210
00:16:40,386 --> 00:16:44,426
Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie!
I'm here!
211
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,600
Okay! Turn on the light!
212
00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:51,015
You're so soft, Julie.
213
00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:52,028
Baaa.
214
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:53,420
Ooh!
215
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,708
Ooh, he doesn't
look very good to me.
216
00:18:24,747 --> 00:18:25,989
Aaahh!
217
00:18:28,598 --> 00:18:30,872
He's faking it, Julie!
He's faking it.
218
00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:36,324
I think he's in trouble.
219
00:18:36,412 --> 00:18:39,412
Julie, this guy,
if he can't take a joke, he stinks.
220
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,908
Get back! Get back!
Step off! Get back!
221
00:18:45,955 --> 00:18:46,939
Get out of here!
222
00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:48,658
Easy, guy.
223
00:19:05,373 --> 00:19:07,797
Melvin's on fire!
Melvin's on fire!
224
00:19:24,381 --> 00:19:27,121
Melvin, dear, are you alright?
225
00:19:28,982 --> 00:19:30,730
Is anything the matter?
226
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:39,411
God, my arms!
Ow! Ow!
227
00:19:41,278 --> 00:19:42,499
Oh my feet!
228
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:48,492
Oh my God!
Ahhhhhh!
229
00:20:21,646 --> 00:20:23,349
Aaahhh!
230
00:20:23,873 --> 00:20:25,494
Are you okay?
231
00:20:40,451 --> 00:20:42,384
Melvin, dear, are you alright?
232
00:21:21,145 --> 00:21:27,145
My little Melvin! He must
have finally reached puberty.
233
00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:29,532
Grrrr!
234
00:21:43,623 --> 00:21:45,795
One. Two.
235
00:21:46,131 --> 00:21:49,052
Three. Four. Five.
236
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:51,817
When we lay this wad on, old Clancy.
237
00:21:51,849 --> 00:21:54,539
The boss is going to
have him by the balls.
238
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,437
I don't think old Clancy
will take the money.
239
00:21:58,492 --> 00:22:01,148
Everyone says he's an honest cop.
240
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:05,560
If he don't take the dough,
I'm gonna give him a blow.
241
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,310
Ha ha!
242
00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:08,576
A pair of knuckles.
243
00:22:13,628 --> 00:22:19,260
Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are
you and your friends up to?
244
00:22:19,456 --> 00:22:22,049
We brought you a little
present from the boss.
245
00:22:22,205 --> 00:22:22,987
Here.
246
00:22:26,786 --> 00:22:29,993
No way.
You're wasting your time.
247
00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:32,118
No. That's where you're wrong.
248
00:22:32,524 --> 00:22:34,100
You're wasting our time.
249
00:22:36,178 --> 00:22:38,178
Now we're going to waste you!
250
00:22:39,381 --> 00:22:40,381
Ow!
251
00:22:42,264 --> 00:22:47,112
Now you're going to find out
why they call me Cigar Face.
252
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,085
Aaahh!
253
00:22:58,607 --> 00:22:59,831
Get him Nipples, yeah!
254
00:23:08,967 --> 00:23:10,220
Come on, now. Come on!
255
00:23:20,373 --> 00:23:22,039
What the matter, Clancy?
256
00:23:25,756 --> 00:23:27,008
Get him!
257
00:23:37,623 --> 00:23:42,085
Honest cops are all alike!
A bunch of fuckin' fagots!
258
00:23:43,058 --> 00:23:46,241
What do you say, shall
I blow his nose off or what?
259
00:23:46,513 --> 00:23:48,874
Boss says if he doesn't
want to cooperate,
260
00:23:49,045 --> 00:23:51,567
we should make love to him.
261
00:23:52,466 --> 00:23:55,848
Well, whatever the boss says, goes.
262
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,218
No... No, no, please!
Please, oh God, please.
263
00:24:00,264 --> 00:24:03,715
No, no. No, please. Come on.
I've got a family!
264
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:05,903
Say your prayers, copper!
265
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,554
Holy shit!
266
00:24:40,137 --> 00:24:44,596
Could that be the,
O'Shanahee boy back from school.
267
00:24:46,341 --> 00:24:47,393
No! No!
268
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,740
Grrr!
269
00:25:00,505 --> 00:25:01,527
Ow!
270
00:25:02,263 --> 00:25:06,013
Aaahhh!
271
00:25:18,506 --> 00:25:21,896
Aaaahhhh!
272
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:26,490
Aaahhh!
273
00:26:20,092 --> 00:26:22,942
I'll get you for this,
you monster faggot!
274
00:26:25,271 --> 00:26:27,622
Grrrr!
275
00:26:37,318 --> 00:26:39,360
Don't worry.
Don't worry, I won't hurt you.
276
00:26:39,540 --> 00:26:40,938
I don't know what came over me.
277
00:26:42,638 --> 00:26:45,138
I just couldn't control myself.
278
00:26:45,162 --> 00:26:47,578
I've never done anything
like this before.
279
00:26:58,896 --> 00:26:59,664
Bye.
280
00:27:01,646 --> 00:27:02,539
Quiet!
281
00:27:03,629 --> 00:27:06,410
Quiet!
282
00:27:06,842 --> 00:27:13,790
Now, you will raise your hand
and you will ask one question at a time.
283
00:27:14,319 --> 00:27:15,819
Exactly where did it happen?
284
00:27:16,021 --> 00:27:18,204
It happened in Shinbone Alley.
285
00:27:18,418 --> 00:27:20,418
These three guys were
going to kill me, see.
286
00:27:20,427 --> 00:27:24,428
And then of nowhere comes
this thing, this monster,
287
00:27:24,474 --> 00:27:26,701
I never seen anything like it before.
288
00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,318
Because it took the three guys
and threw them away.
289
00:27:30,410 --> 00:27:34,410
I don't know what it was but,
but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life.
290
00:27:47,146 --> 00:27:48,553
Alright, boys.
291
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,700
Chief, what have you got?
292
00:27:51,903 --> 00:27:55,584
That alleyway was the most
gruesome sight I have ever seen.
293
00:27:55,926 --> 00:27:57,240
Gruesome, huh?
294
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,199
Have you ever met
my mother-in-law?
295
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,199
Now, that's gruesome
296
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,366
What about Cigar Face?
297
00:28:03,379 --> 00:28:05,100
Have we gotten anything
out of him yet?
298
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,199
He must still be in shock.
All he does is sit around
299
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,591
all day babbling about
some seven foot monster.
300
00:28:11,615 --> 00:28:14,699
Yeah, and the only other clue
we've got are those mops,
301
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:16,699
stuffed in their mouths.
302
00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:21,215
Mops... It must be some sort of political statement.
Do we have any suspects?
303
00:28:21,246 --> 00:28:26,168
Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles
and Nipples were hated by everyone.
304
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,699
Not by me. They were
our two best producers.
305
00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,700
Speaking of which, I almost forgot.
306
00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:35,627
The boys made their rounds last
night and here is the collection.
307
00:28:35,658 --> 00:28:37,700
Yeah, and it would've been
double if it wasn't for this
308
00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:40,715
devastating tragic turn of events.
309
00:28:40,942 --> 00:28:41,816
Yeah.
310
00:29:35,387 --> 00:29:36,387
Aah!
311
00:29:39,918 --> 00:29:43,152
Slug, will you stop with that
Elephant Man bullshit.
312
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:48,832
I am not an animal.
I'm Melvin, the mop boy.
313
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,108
- Who is it?
- It's me, Ma. Melvin.
314
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,105
Aah!
315
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,714
Ma? Ah, Ma!
316
00:31:21,028 --> 00:31:24,806
Tom. Tom, is he dead?
317
00:31:25,129 --> 00:31:26,313
Hey, Tom.
318
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:31,380
Yeah, over here. Tom,
the zoning board has designated
319
00:31:31,404 --> 00:31:35,365
the old Rawlins Chemical Plant
as the new toxic waste dump site.
320
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,968
Now that's contaminated, but
valuable waterfront property.
321
00:31:44,926 --> 00:31:48,926
We think it's a crime to let that
property go to waste as a dump.
322
00:31:49,152 --> 00:31:52,411
You are aware, of course, that that would
place our new toxic chemical dump
323
00:31:52,425 --> 00:31:55,247
just 20 feet from the
reservoir for the entire area.
324
00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:04,184
Gentlemen, I think we have a deal.
325
00:32:06,214 --> 00:32:09,272
Here to better living through chemistry.
326
00:32:31,816 --> 00:32:35,316
Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred,
what's wrong with this thing!?
327
00:32:50,214 --> 00:32:51,291
Alright, everybody!
328
00:32:51,317 --> 00:32:53,893
Drop your tacos or
I'll blow your brains out!
329
00:32:56,887 --> 00:32:58,773
Rico, get the cash register!
330
00:32:58,816 --> 00:33:00,758
Okay, you got it!
331
00:33:02,329 --> 00:33:03,993
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
332
00:33:04,512 --> 00:33:07,352
We are the entertainment
for this afternoon.
333
00:33:07,473 --> 00:33:11,489
Now on shotgun,
we've got my man Leroy.
334
00:33:12,567 --> 00:33:16,591
On cash register
we've got magic fingers, Rico!
335
00:33:16,739 --> 00:33:17,669
That's me.
336
00:33:18,301 --> 00:33:22,005
And last but not least, yours truly Frank.
337
00:33:23,911 --> 00:33:24,966
On the stick.
338
00:33:27,661 --> 00:33:28,584
Shut up!
339
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,149
Now if you all do just
what we tell you,
340
00:33:32,169 --> 00:33:36,383
you just might, just might
get your asses home all intact.
341
00:33:38,082 --> 00:33:43,016
Look who we got here!
A little mother, and a littler baby.
342
00:33:44,332 --> 00:33:46,484
Do you like Mexican food, little baby?
343
00:33:47,319 --> 00:33:49,039
Well, How'd you like to
have this hot tamale
344
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:50,672
shoved down your throat?
345
00:33:53,286 --> 00:33:54,523
What are you looking at?
346
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,960
Hey, Frank, teeny boppers!
347
00:34:00,709 --> 00:34:02,392
You like video games,
teeny boppers?
348
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,798
Your mom give you
quarters for video games?
349
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:06,235
Well, cough them up!
350
00:34:07,608 --> 00:34:10,108
Hey, this one's cute, Frank.
351
00:34:10,218 --> 00:34:12,573
Look how cute she is, Frank.
352
00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:14,346
Say, Leroy, I think she likes you.
353
00:34:22,140 --> 00:34:23,925
Hey, why don't you leave her alone?
354
00:34:26,359 --> 00:34:28,269
We'll give you our money,
if you want money.
355
00:34:29,155 --> 00:34:31,445
Hey, look, pal, why don't
you just let everyone go
356
00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:33,460
and keep me as a hostage, huh?
357
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:34,000
Huh?
358
00:34:34,742 --> 00:34:36,930
That's an idea, ainft it, Frank?
359
00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:38,891
- Yeah.
- No, thanks.
360
00:34:50,733 --> 00:34:53,509
Shut up! It was self defense.
361
00:34:56,602 --> 00:35:00,286
Yo, Leroy, check out
this pretty little thing,
362
00:35:00,867 --> 00:35:02,902
and the bitch got a dog.
363
00:35:04,453 --> 00:35:07,442
Hey, wait a minute.
I think this bitch is blind.
364
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,668
Are you sure she is blind, Frank?
365
00:35:13,156 --> 00:35:15,301
Yeah, the bitch is blind.
366
00:35:15,554 --> 00:35:16,098
Ow!
367
00:35:16,296 --> 00:35:18,547
Hey, what are you doing?
Don't do that!
368
00:35:18,561 --> 00:35:19,382
Let go of me!
369
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,835
Yo, Leroy, you want to
walk this damn dog!
370
00:35:24,773 --> 00:35:25,944
Yeah, sure, Frank.
371
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:31,063
Gary?
372
00:35:33,242 --> 00:35:35,867
Harry!
What have you done to my dog?
373
00:35:35,889 --> 00:35:37,820
I didn't do anything to the dog,
but listen...
374
00:35:38,336 --> 00:35:39,410
Gary! Gary!
375
00:35:39,434 --> 00:35:40,856
You wanna meet my friend, Ben?
376
00:35:40,863 --> 00:35:43,343
We's make everything alright.
Just let me introduce you to Ben.
377
00:35:43,488 --> 00:35:44,550
Ben who!?
378
00:35:44,562 --> 00:35:46,562
Ben Dover!
379
00:35:49,875 --> 00:35:54,875
Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want
to cornhole me a blind bitch.
380
00:35:55,047 --> 00:35:56,047
Ow!
381
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,627
I'm going to enjoy this!
382
00:36:02,210 --> 00:36:04,190
Yeah, it's going to be nice.
383
00:36:06,109 --> 00:36:07,494
What the shit!?
384
00:36:22,070 --> 00:36:23,797
Okay, you motherfucker!
385
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,680
Aah! Aahh!
386
00:39:26,390 --> 00:39:29,810
No, no, no! We were only kidding!
387
00:39:30,265 --> 00:39:32,740
What's the matter?
You can't take a joke?
388
00:39:33,195 --> 00:39:34,805
We were only kidding.
389
00:39:34,828 --> 00:39:37,100
Please, no!
You can't do this to me!
390
00:39:40,296 --> 00:39:43,213
No! Please! Please, stop it!
391
00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:46,093
Stop, no! No!
392
00:39:46,366 --> 00:39:48,491
No! We were, we were only kidding!
393
00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:05,364
Grrr! Grrrrr!
394
00:40:31,609 --> 00:40:35,067
Please, please don't touch me!
395
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:36,999
Please!
396
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright.
I'm not going to hurt you.
397
00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:41,207
Are you okay?
398
00:40:41,437 --> 00:40:44,937
Yes, I think so. My dog!
399
00:40:45,281 --> 00:40:49,023
Those men killed my dog!
They shot my dog!
400
00:40:49,577 --> 00:40:51,936
Could you take me out of here, please?
401
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:58,202
Please. I'll never make it
by myself without my dog.
402
00:40:58,225 --> 00:40:58,984
Please.
403
00:40:59,343 --> 00:41:03,500
Okay, alright, but come on,
let's go out the back way.
404
00:41:03,867 --> 00:41:07,193
Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you.
Come on, I'll help you up.
405
00:41:34,094 --> 00:41:36,581
- Don't trip over the step, Melvin.
- What?
406
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,534
I'd better get my cane.
407
00:41:45,484 --> 00:41:46,584
Why don't you have a seat?
408
00:41:46,616 --> 00:41:47,974
There's a place for you on your left.
409
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000
Right over there.
410
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:50,037
Ow!
411
00:41:50,351 --> 00:41:51,851
Would like you like something to eat?
412
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,999
Uh-huh.
413
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,761
Is peanut butter and jelly, okay?
414
00:41:54,796 --> 00:41:55,558
Uh-huh.
415
00:41:55,859 --> 00:41:56,745
Good.
416
00:41:58,003 --> 00:41:59,000
Grr!
417
00:41:59,336 --> 00:42:01,362
Now, boys, what have we got here?
418
00:42:02,305 --> 00:42:05,054
Looks like we got a nice crispy taco
supreme over here, chief.
419
00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:11,127
Looks like I got a a
strawberry thickshake over here.
420
00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:14,226
What have you got?
421
00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,463
I've got a pizza with
the works to go, Jimmy.
422
00:42:17,367 --> 00:42:21,367
Chief, it was unbelievable.
It had an eye up over here,
423
00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:23,750
His nose was twisted to the side.
424
00:42:24,031 --> 00:42:24,695
Huh?
425
00:42:24,732 --> 00:42:27,141
It was the strangest thing
I ever saw in my life.
426
00:42:27,155 --> 00:42:30,670
Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too.
427
00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:33,107
I'm telling ya, these guys
were going to kill us.
428
00:42:33,412 --> 00:42:36,920
It saved our lives. It was a hero.
429
00:42:36,937 --> 00:42:38,221
A hero!
430
00:42:40,343 --> 00:42:41,479
This guy is drunk.
431
00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:47,571
Would you mind if
I touched your face?
432
00:42:47,593 --> 00:42:48,168
No!
433
00:42:48,194 --> 00:42:52,110
No? Why not?
I won't hurt you, Melvin.
434
00:42:52,140 --> 00:42:56,640
It's not that. It's just that
I have a rash on my face.
435
00:42:56,648 --> 00:42:59,078
A rash? You mean acne?
436
00:42:59,101 --> 00:43:02,155
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
It's nothing to worry about
437
00:43:02,156 --> 00:43:03,999
but I wouldn't want you to touch it.
438
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,499
You shouldn't be ashamed of acne.
439
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,499
Everybody's had acne at
one time or another.
440
00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:12,894
Hey, I know. Would you
like me to tell your fortune?
441
00:43:12,937 --> 00:43:13,613
Huh?
442
00:43:13,656 --> 00:43:16,230
I read palms. Give me your hand.
443
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,658
What big hands you have.
444
00:43:22,346 --> 00:43:24,205
I bet you're very strong.
445
00:43:24,825 --> 00:43:27,499
Hmm. Let me see.
You're going to have
446
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:30,999
a lot of good things coming
too you in the future.
447
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,000
You're going to become
a very important man.
448
00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:36,596
Let me see your other hand.
449
00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,444
Grr?
Grrrrr!
450
00:43:41,561 --> 00:43:44,069
Oops! Sorry.
451
00:43:51,970 --> 00:43:53,783
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
452
00:43:54,017 --> 00:43:57,179
With us this afternoon is,
Dr. Mertyn Snodberger
453
00:43:57,500 --> 00:44:00,999
from the Garden State State Cerebral
Reflex Research Center.
454
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,172
Ah, can you tell me, sir,
455
00:44:03,188 --> 00:44:06,500
is it true that the monster
only attacks bad people?
456
00:44:06,820 --> 00:44:12,477
Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil
people have been destroyed
457
00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:18,000
by the monster, I would have
to answer your question. Ja.
458
00:44:18,421 --> 00:44:21,604
From traces that have
been found on the scenes
459
00:44:21,627 --> 00:44:25,999
of the crime, and analyzed,
we have determined
460
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,499
that whatever it is,
this monster has been exposed
461
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,561
to toxic chemical waste.
462
00:44:33,203 --> 00:44:34,670
Achoo!
463
00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:44,499
It is also highly probable
that this monster may
464
00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:48,499
have developed a very
basic instinct which draws him,
465
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:54,728
or should I say, commands
him to destroy evil.
466
00:45:12,945 --> 00:45:15,736
That new camera really
captures the moment!
467
00:45:15,804 --> 00:45:20,142
I know. The reds are so red!
Really get me hot!
468
00:45:32,008 --> 00:45:32,798
Mr. Mayor?
469
00:45:32,819 --> 00:45:33,360
Yeah?
470
00:45:33,374 --> 00:45:37,374
I got todayfs receipts from
the drug division. Ha ha!
471
00:45:37,834 --> 00:45:40,334
Good boy, Dennis.
Put it over there on the table.
472
00:45:40,484 --> 00:45:42,002
Bookie will get to it later.
473
00:46:04,539 --> 00:46:05,843
Grr!
474
00:46:05,844 --> 00:46:06,703
Aahhh!
475
00:46:27,741 --> 00:46:30,417
Grrr!
476
00:48:11,186 --> 00:48:13,262
Listen, you asshole, how many
times are you going to
477
00:48:13,278 --> 00:48:14,816
pull that Elephant Man joke?
478
00:48:17,412 --> 00:48:19,212
- Grrr!
- Aahhh!
479
00:48:31,695 --> 00:48:33,625
Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass!
480
00:48:41,734 --> 00:48:45,734
This monster may have
developed a very basic instinct,
481
00:48:45,773 --> 00:48:48,737
to destroy evil.
482
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,495
Hey, you! In the alley!
483
00:48:51,507 --> 00:48:57,260
Hey, knucklehead! How about
some nice young poontang, huh?
484
00:48:57,289 --> 00:49:01,151
No! No, take me home!
No, take me home!
485
00:49:01,162 --> 00:49:03,080
No, you lied to me!
486
00:49:03,124 --> 00:49:06,177
You said you were going to take
me to see the David Bowie concert!
487
00:49:06,217 --> 00:49:08,005
He's not David Bowie!
488
00:49:09,201 --> 00:49:13,865
Only twelve years old,
and only twelve dollars!
489
00:49:18,586 --> 00:49:20,966
Boys! Boys! Help!
490
00:49:25,044 --> 00:49:27,544
Help, boys! Help!
491
00:49:32,812 --> 00:49:33,663
Aaahh!
492
00:50:00,140 --> 00:50:02,227
And you can tell all your
scum friends that things
493
00:50:02,241 --> 00:50:04,532
are going to change in this town!
494
00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:06,415
I'm not just another pretty face!
495
00:50:07,242 --> 00:50:08,868
Grrr!
496
00:50:33,346 --> 00:50:36,405
Two prime candidates.
497
00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:37,643
Yeah.
498
00:50:37,851 --> 00:50:39,573
Rack 'em up!
499
00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:42,872
Grrr!
500
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,320
- Wow!
- Wow!
501
00:50:53,617 --> 00:50:57,229
Grrr!
502
00:51:00,509 --> 00:51:01,423
503
00:51:12,379 --> 00:51:14,386
504
00:51:18,358 --> 00:51:19,238
Aahh!
505
00:51:54,632 --> 00:51:56,632
I hear the monster is so big.
506
00:51:56,648 --> 00:51:59,131
Well, I bet he's got his eye on me.
507
00:51:59,249 --> 00:52:01,802
For your information, everyone
knows Monster Prefer Blondes!
508
00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:04,415
There's a feeling going
around town that this monster
509
00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:06,369
is here to protect the people.
510
00:52:06,609 --> 00:52:09,462
And the jail's are becoming overcrowded.
511
00:52:09,468 --> 00:52:13,158
This monster has cleaned
the streets of every criminal.
512
00:52:13,242 --> 00:52:18,241
Almost all the criminals.
He hasn't gotten us yet.
513
00:52:18,242 --> 00:52:20,670
What the hell are we going
to do about this monster, eh?
514
00:52:20,687 --> 00:52:23,474
I'll tell you what we're going
to do. We're going to kill him.
515
00:52:23,570 --> 00:52:28,327
Because if we don't kill him,
he's going to kill us.
516
00:52:32,617 --> 00:52:33,342
Grrr!
517
00:52:33,391 --> 00:52:36,660
I owe you for the other
night, monster fagot!
518
00:52:36,725 --> 00:52:37,972
Grrr!
519
00:52:41,500 --> 00:52:44,691
So now we're going to give
you six new assholes,
520
00:52:44,781 --> 00:52:47,567
compliments of me, Cigar Face!
521
00:52:48,373 --> 00:52:49,588
Grrr!
522
00:52:57,522 --> 00:52:59,022
Grr!
523
00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:06,777
Boom! You should've seen it!
His teeth was everywhere!
524
00:53:06,820 --> 00:53:08,820
They looked like Chiclets!
525
00:53:09,452 --> 00:53:11,747
Hey, what are you doing, blondie?
526
00:53:12,036 --> 00:53:13,536
I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
527
00:53:13,718 --> 00:53:14,998
She's waiting for her boyfriend.
528
00:53:15,014 --> 00:53:17,823
Well, maybe I'm going to
be your boyfriend, baby!
529
00:53:18,476 --> 00:53:21,737
Hey, stop that!
My boyfriend won't like that!
530
00:53:21,788 --> 00:53:25,027
Maybe we'll have to take care
of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh?
531
00:53:25,763 --> 00:53:26,668
Melvin! Melvin!
532
00:53:26,999 --> 00:53:27,801
Melvin!
533
00:53:27,828 --> 00:53:28,933
Melvin!?
534
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:29,941
Melvin!
535
00:53:30,427 --> 00:53:33,374
Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?
536
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,955
Aah!
537
00:53:53,710 --> 00:53:58,340
Why, Melvin, you're beautiful.
You're a beautiful person.
538
00:54:00,289 --> 00:54:05,605
You're so muscular. It's been
two years since I touched a man.
539
00:54:09,258 --> 00:54:14,328
What are you doing to me?
I've never felt like this before.
540
00:56:11,186 --> 00:56:12,250
Murderer!
541
00:56:12,413 --> 00:56:14,742
- Aaahhh!
- Grrrrrr!
542
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,403
I'm gonna teach you a lesson
you'll never forget!
543
00:56:19,433 --> 00:56:21,059
Aaahh!
544
00:56:35,814 --> 00:56:36,478
No!
545
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:37,820
Sorry, madam.
546
00:56:46,203 --> 00:56:49,540
Open up please, open up!
547
00:56:50,710 --> 00:56:54,710
Help me! Oh, please open up!
Help me!
548
00:56:57,991 --> 00:56:58,991
Grrr!
549
00:56:58,999 --> 00:57:01,282
Aaahh!
550
00:57:01,749 --> 00:57:02,782
Going up?
551
00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:08,825
Let me out Let me out!
Please, someone help me!
552
00:57:09,366 --> 00:57:10,864
Aaahh!
553
00:57:13,399 --> 00:57:15,399
Aaahhh!
554
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:27,501
Aah! She's stressing me, Slug!
Julie is stressing me, Slug!
555
00:58:27,515 --> 00:58:29,548
I can't take it!
I cannot take this, Slug!
556
00:58:29,750 --> 00:58:31,567
She's not here with car
and I've got to drive.
557
00:58:31,608 --> 00:58:33,122
I gotta drive, Slug!
I gotta drive!
558
00:58:33,123 --> 00:58:35,044
Alright, already. Alright.
Will you chill out?
559
00:58:40,748 --> 00:58:44,996
Hey, how would you like
to be behind the wheel
560
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,339
of a beautiful Japanese import?
561
00:58:50,422 --> 00:58:52,194
Oh, that would be good!
562
00:58:56,133 --> 00:58:58,133
Hi, can we help?
563
00:58:58,288 --> 00:58:59,780
Oh, you sure can.
564
00:59:01,133 --> 00:59:04,132
Thank you so much.
Oh, it's so nice to have you
565
00:59:04,133 --> 00:59:06,510
boys like you here
in the neighborhood.
566
00:59:07,773 --> 00:59:10,041
Aahh!
567
00:59:10,633 --> 00:59:11,588
Aahhh!
568
00:59:12,703 --> 00:59:16,431
Oh, what a feeling, today!
569
00:59:26,633 --> 00:59:29,632
Did you see her face
when I punched her?
570
00:59:29,633 --> 00:59:31,860
I beat that old lady like a dog!
571
00:59:34,133 --> 00:59:35,855
Slug, there's that thing again!
572
00:59:37,836 --> 00:59:39,003
Let's get it!
573
00:59:46,382 --> 00:59:48,395
Shit! he's on the roof!
He's on the roof!
574
00:59:48,882 --> 00:59:50,747
Get him off!
He's going to kill both of us!
575
00:59:51,516 --> 00:59:53,715
Swerve the car, Bozo!
Swerve the car!
576
00:59:55,156 --> 00:59:56,883
I can't control the car!
577
01:00:03,437 --> 01:00:05,545
He's still there, swerve it again!
Swerve it again!
578
01:00:13,133 --> 01:00:15,633
I can't get him off the car, Slug!
I can't get him off!
579
01:00:20,249 --> 01:00:21,749
Slug, I'm going to die!
580
01:00:22,163 --> 01:00:24,731
Take the wheel, Slug!
Take the wheel!
581
01:00:25,318 --> 01:00:26,718
I'm stressed!
582
01:00:27,133 --> 01:00:28,083
Ah, what?
583
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:30,320
What?
584
01:00:30,969 --> 01:00:33,822
Aaaahhh!
585
01:00:37,711 --> 01:00:39,211
Get out of here!
586
01:00:44,568 --> 01:00:45,318
No!
587
01:00:49,905 --> 01:00:51,602
See how you like this face, huh, Bozo?
588
01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:54,360
You know who this is?
It's Melvin, that's who it is!
589
01:01:17,633 --> 01:01:20,169
Hey, hey, hey, what about the
kid on the bike, Bozo?
590
01:01:20,227 --> 01:01:22,727
How does it feel to hit
a kid on a bike? Feels good!
591
01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:26,991
I've got problems! I've got problems!
I'm a stressed person!
592
01:01:32,051 --> 01:01:33,004
No, no!
593
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:12,259
Give me the wheel!
594
01:02:15,133 --> 01:02:17,680
Just give me the wheel!
You'll going to kill both of us!
595
01:02:19,882 --> 01:02:23,882
You want the wheel?
Here, take the wheel!
596
01:02:25,617 --> 01:02:26,117
Aaahhh!
597
01:02:30,851 --> 01:02:35,048
Grrr! Ha ha!
598
01:03:35,633 --> 01:03:38,054
Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!
599
01:03:38,133 --> 01:03:40,163
Mrs Haskel, how are you?
600
01:03:40,273 --> 01:03:41,492
Fine, thank you.
601
01:03:41,524 --> 01:03:43,024
How are the boys?
602
01:03:43,312 --> 01:03:46,960
Those boys are such terrors.
Especially Scott.
603
01:03:47,078 --> 01:03:50,319
He took his best girl out
last night and he came home
604
01:03:50,352 --> 01:03:53,139
with these stains, all over his pants.
605
01:03:53,749 --> 01:03:55,381
I don't know what they are.
606
01:03:55,747 --> 01:03:56,958
I don't either.
607
01:03:56,983 --> 01:03:58,483
Do you think you can get them out?
608
01:04:00,171 --> 01:04:03,671
My car! They're putting
a ticket on my car!
609
01:04:03,929 --> 01:04:06,597
Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Donft' move.
Stay right where you are.
610
01:04:06,615 --> 01:04:07,480
I'll be right back.
611
01:04:07,497 --> 01:04:10,817
You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket!
I have to go to a funeral...
612
01:04:13,882 --> 01:04:15,834
Hey, who do you think you're pushing?
613
01:04:17,249 --> 01:04:18,342
What do you want?
614
01:04:19,006 --> 01:04:21,826
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!
615
01:04:21,835 --> 01:04:25,763
Help! Help! Help! Help!
616
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:29,810
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me! Help!
617
01:04:30,187 --> 01:04:32,187
Help! Help!
618
01:04:32,679 --> 01:04:33,458
What the...?
619
01:04:35,866 --> 01:04:38,153
Put me down!
I didn't do anything!
620
01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:46,979
No Dickie here. No washie.
621
01:04:57,453 --> 01:05:01,453
Please, don't give me a ticket!
Please, don't give me a ticket!
622
01:05:06,602 --> 01:05:09,602
Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what
we can do with these stains.
623
01:05:09,633 --> 01:05:13,508
Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel,
what are you doing back there?
624
01:05:13,609 --> 01:05:16,198
You know customers are
not allowed on that machine.
625
01:05:17,117 --> 01:05:18,617
Mrs. Haskel.
626
01:05:20,132 --> 01:05:21,510
Aah!
627
01:06:06,773 --> 01:06:08,842
Melvin, is that you?
628
01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:14,178
Melvin?
629
01:06:18,933 --> 01:06:20,074
Who's there?
630
01:06:21,713 --> 01:06:22,937
Who is that?
631
01:06:35,386 --> 01:06:38,386
It's me, Sarah. Only me.
632
01:06:39,127 --> 01:06:42,315
You scared me.
Is something wrong?
633
01:06:42,345 --> 01:06:44,345
Everything is wrong.
634
01:06:45,096 --> 01:06:47,096
What the matter?
What have I done?
635
01:06:47,190 --> 01:06:51,190
No, it's not what you've done.
It's what I've done.
636
01:06:51,378 --> 01:06:53,378
I think I'm out of control.
637
01:06:53,433 --> 01:06:57,330
You see, you're blind, Sara.
You don't know who I am.
638
01:06:58,433 --> 01:07:01,932
I'm really the monster
hero you heard about.
639
01:07:01,933 --> 01:07:04,933
And everyday I go out
and I mash people.
640
01:07:05,025 --> 01:07:07,525
I tear them apart and I can't stop.
641
01:07:08,003 --> 01:07:09,302
You better move back
to your apartment.
642
01:07:09,339 --> 01:07:10,849
I don't think its safe
for you to be around me.
643
01:07:10,870 --> 01:07:15,892
Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave
you now. I love you, Melvin.
644
01:07:17,955 --> 01:07:20,455
I wish we could go somewhere.
645
01:07:20,933 --> 01:07:25,533
Yeah, some far away place.
Where there are no people.
646
01:07:25,563 --> 01:07:27,979
Where I can't kill anybody.
647
01:07:28,034 --> 01:07:31,034
What about that spot near Millers
farm that you told me about?
648
01:07:31,433 --> 01:07:33,432
Where you used to go to be alone.
649
01:07:33,433 --> 01:07:35,775
You said that was a very special place.
650
01:07:35,798 --> 01:07:39,280
Well, we could try it.
651
01:07:40,433 --> 01:07:42,932
Do you think I look
inconspicuous enough?
652
01:07:42,933 --> 01:07:45,433
I'll feel better when
we get to the campsite.
653
01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:49,329
Mayor, Mayor!
654
01:07:49,362 --> 01:07:52,362
Chief, look. Our monster
made a little bit of a mistake.
655
01:07:52,799 --> 01:07:54,799
You can't go around dry
cleaning little old ladies
656
01:07:54,839 --> 01:07:56,839
the public won't stand for it.
657
01:07:56,933 --> 01:07:59,089
We can kill him now with
no flack from anybody.
658
01:07:59,096 --> 01:08:01,534
Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor,
659
01:08:01,933 --> 01:08:05,159
That old lady was hardly
a pillar of the community.
660
01:08:05,214 --> 01:08:09,431
In fact, she can a head of an
international white slavery ring.
661
01:08:09,432 --> 01:08:09,932
Shit...
662
01:08:09,979 --> 01:08:12,550
And she had a police record a mile long.
663
01:08:13,073 --> 01:08:14,231
We've got to cover this up.
664
01:08:14,433 --> 01:08:16,653
If it ever gets out to
the press we're sunk.
665
01:08:16,682 --> 01:08:19,751
And I want you to do me a favor.
Kill that bastard for me! You got it?
666
01:08:19,766 --> 01:08:20,319
Kill him!
667
01:08:20,355 --> 01:08:21,855
Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor!
668
01:08:22,433 --> 01:08:24,933
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention please.
669
01:08:25,191 --> 01:08:27,691
Mayor Peter Bellgoode
will now take questions
670
01:08:27,933 --> 01:08:29,884
from the ladies and gentlemen
of the press.
671
01:08:33,729 --> 01:08:34,937
Uh, Miss Fink.
672
01:08:35,268 --> 01:08:38,767
What your administration stance
in regards to this alleged monster?
673
01:08:38,768 --> 01:08:40,268
Is he a menace or a miracle?
674
01:08:40,652 --> 01:08:43,652
He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink.
Right now therefs a massive
675
01:08:43,667 --> 01:08:47,654
search underway to find
the thing and destroy it.
676
01:08:48,933 --> 01:08:50,432
Yes, Mr. Leonard?
677
01:08:50,433 --> 01:08:52,432
Instead of trying to kill him,
shouldn't we be trying
678
01:08:52,433 --> 01:08:55,263
to capture him,
bring him in, study him?
679
01:08:55,286 --> 01:09:00,245
It is not a human being.
It is an it. You kill an it.
680
01:09:00,393 --> 01:09:01,549
Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor.
681
01:09:01,573 --> 01:09:02,400
Yes, Mr. Williams?
682
01:09:02,588 --> 01:09:05,845
The victim killed in the dry
cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel.
683
01:09:06,183 --> 01:09:07,906
What's her background?
What do we know about her?
684
01:09:07,932 --> 01:09:11,432
Mrs. Haskel was a member of
our community for over 30 years.
685
01:09:11,933 --> 01:09:15,932
Also a member of the PTA.
She had two fine sons.
686
01:09:15,933 --> 01:09:17,677
Everyone that know her, loved her.
687
01:09:18,057 --> 01:09:20,739
Question! Question!
Are you certain, Mr. Mayor,
688
01:09:20,755 --> 01:09:22,544
that the chief Himmel
and the police department
689
01:09:22,573 --> 01:09:24,512
can handle the situation in Tromaville?
690
01:09:24,552 --> 01:09:27,933
I have the utmost regard for
the chief, and his department.
691
01:09:28,339 --> 01:09:30,339
As I've said, he's conducting
a massive search
692
01:09:30,354 --> 01:09:31,854
for the monster right now.
693
01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:35,667
I want this thing found
and I want this thing killed!
694
01:09:35,933 --> 01:09:38,932
The mayor has notified the
governor and he's prepared
695
01:09:38,933 --> 01:09:41,432
to give us all the assistance we need.
696
01:09:41,433 --> 01:09:43,432
Should we break out
the heavy weapons?
697
01:09:43,433 --> 01:09:44,432
Come on, boys.
698
01:09:44,433 --> 01:09:46,932
I'd be dead right now if
it wasn't for the monster!
699
01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:50,432
Don't you think you're
being a bit hasty?
700
01:09:50,433 --> 01:09:54,432
Clancy, you will do as you're
told or you'll find yourself
701
01:09:54,433 --> 01:09:57,433
walking a beat in the city dump!
702
01:09:57,456 --> 01:10:02,456
Now I want this thing shot
and I want you to shoot to kill!
703
01:10:02,753 --> 01:10:06,426
That monster saved my life.
He's done a lot of good for this town.
704
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,440
Why are they going to kill him?
705
01:10:08,823 --> 01:10:11,323
We should speak out!
Do something!
706
01:10:11,339 --> 01:10:13,339
Roy, why don't you do something!
Speak out!
707
01:10:13,628 --> 01:10:15,800
You want me to speak up?
If I speak up,
708
01:10:15,816 --> 01:10:18,910
I lose my business license.
If I lose my business license,
709
01:10:18,933 --> 01:10:21,432
I'm dead.
Do you want another shake?
710
01:10:21,433 --> 01:10:24,433
No! I want them
not to kill the monster.
711
01:10:24,628 --> 01:10:26,128
I want us to do something!
712
01:10:26,433 --> 01:10:28,932
Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid.
713
01:10:28,933 --> 01:10:31,932
People can't go around doing
things just because they're right.
714
01:10:31,933 --> 01:10:33,932
We have to leave these
decisions up to the mayor
715
01:10:33,933 --> 01:10:35,932
- and the police chief.
- That's right.
716
01:10:35,933 --> 01:10:37,932
But why would the mayor
want to destroy something
717
01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:40,933
that does more good than
the entire police force?
718
01:10:42,433 --> 01:10:43,932
No offense.
719
01:10:43,933 --> 01:10:46,932
I know how you feel, Johnny,
he saved my life too.
720
01:10:46,933 --> 01:10:50,932
But us, little guys, are just not
qualified to make these decisions.
721
01:10:50,933 --> 01:10:53,432
That's why he's the mayor.
722
01:10:53,433 --> 01:10:55,433
Right?
723
01:10:58,433 --> 01:11:01,933
We're gonna find that bastard, now.
Come on. Come on, girl!
724
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:02,905
Heel. Come on.
725
01:11:03,064 --> 01:11:05,694
My first day on the force
and I'm chasing monsters!
726
01:11:11,433 --> 01:11:12,992
The dogs got a scent!
727
01:11:18,183 --> 01:11:20,932
I'm missing the ball
game for this bullshit!
728
01:11:20,933 --> 01:11:22,432
We ain't going to find
no monster out here,
729
01:11:22,433 --> 01:11:25,932
all we're going to find is a bunch
of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole!
730
01:11:25,933 --> 01:11:27,933
Shut your fuckin' mouth!
731
01:11:28,198 --> 01:11:29,984
Hold on a second,
I think I see something.
732
01:11:30,002 --> 01:11:31,125
You don't see nothing but a couple
733
01:11:31,140 --> 01:11:33,932
of campers humping each other.
Come on, let's go home!
734
01:11:33,933 --> 01:11:35,932
Holy shit! It's the monster!
735
01:11:35,933 --> 01:11:36,932
Oh, sure!
736
01:11:36,933 --> 01:11:38,433
And he's got a bimbo with him!
737
01:11:38,933 --> 01:11:40,432
Oh, he's got your Mama with him!
738
01:11:40,433 --> 01:11:42,933
And she's wearing a bikini! Wow!
739
01:11:42,955 --> 01:11:44,455
Wait, let me see!
740
01:11:44,933 --> 01:11:47,866
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
741
01:11:49,933 --> 01:11:53,164
Come on, let's go tell the chief!
I'm going to get me a medal for this!
742
01:11:53,171 --> 01:11:54,836
Mayor! Mayor! Mayor!
743
01:11:55,753 --> 01:11:58,914
The monster has been sighted
in a field near Miller farm.
744
01:11:58,933 --> 01:11:59,932
That's wonderful!
745
01:11:59,933 --> 01:12:02,932
I'll have the National Guard
meet us out there in full force.
746
01:12:02,933 --> 01:12:03,683
You leave now!
747
01:12:03,814 --> 01:12:04,699
Ja!
748
01:12:05,433 --> 01:12:08,433
Hello, Mr. Governor,
how are you, sir?
749
01:12:08,894 --> 01:12:11,432
Fine, just fine.
750
01:12:11,433 --> 01:12:15,365
Governor, I need your help, sir.
751
01:12:15,394 --> 01:12:18,154
It's about this monster that's
been terrorizing my town.
752
01:12:18,394 --> 01:12:21,959
The local authorities can no
longer handle the situation.
753
01:12:23,331 --> 01:12:24,866
That's why I need your help.
754
01:12:25,727 --> 01:12:27,444
The National Guard?
755
01:12:27,933 --> 01:12:30,733
I was hoping you'd say that,
so we can kill it.
756
01:12:33,541 --> 01:12:38,414
Capture it? Well, I was
thinking the very same thing.
757
01:12:38,894 --> 01:12:43,394
Yes, capture would be fine.
Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor.
758
01:12:43,863 --> 01:12:46,863
Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir.
759
01:12:50,261 --> 01:12:52,257
Capture, my ass!
760
01:13:07,697 --> 01:13:10,373
I don't like the way
this is going sargent.
761
01:13:10,393 --> 01:13:11,893
I know.
762
01:13:11,933 --> 01:13:14,272
The little people think he's
done a lot for this town.
763
01:13:19,706 --> 01:13:24,095
Oh, my God! They're calling
in the National Guard!
764
01:13:24,134 --> 01:13:26,432
Oh, look at all those men!
765
01:13:26,433 --> 01:13:27,932
Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster.
766
01:13:27,933 --> 01:13:30,400
Monster, they aught to give
him a medal, not kill him.
767
01:13:34,933 --> 01:13:38,833
They're going to nuke him!
They're going to nuke the monster!
768
01:13:45,433 --> 01:13:48,433
- They found the monster!
- He's at the Miller Farm!
769
01:13:48,464 --> 01:13:49,709
They're going to kill him!
770
01:13:49,768 --> 01:13:52,740
Holy cow! We can't let him die!
771
01:13:54,229 --> 01:13:56,229
Let's go!
772
01:14:42,314 --> 01:14:43,314
Out of the way!
773
01:14:43,861 --> 01:14:44,886
Stand aside.
774
01:14:44,931 --> 01:14:47,878
Tent's in the clearing, Mayor.
My troops have it surrounded.
775
01:14:47,908 --> 01:14:49,198
We think he's still asleep.
776
01:14:49,476 --> 01:14:52,282
Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out.
777
01:14:52,494 --> 01:14:55,499
You can't do that, Mayor.
I've rechecked with headquarters
778
01:14:55,516 --> 01:14:57,692
They want us to
take him alive, not kill him.
779
01:14:57,693 --> 01:14:59,689
Your in charge, Pete.
Come on, give the orders!
780
01:14:59,704 --> 01:15:02,937
Mr. mayor, please, please, think of
what you are doing!
781
01:15:03,485 --> 01:15:05,297
There's an innocent girl
in there with him!
782
01:15:06,540 --> 01:15:08,321
Just one life for the whole town!
783
01:15:08,501 --> 01:15:10,313
But, Mr Mayor,
you don't understand!
784
01:15:10,398 --> 01:15:12,469
He saved my life!
He doesn't deserve to die!
785
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:13,305
Shut up!
786
01:15:13,353 --> 01:15:16,353
Now you don't understand the
seriousness of this situation here, boy!
787
01:15:16,462 --> 01:15:20,462
How dare you discuss my
son's life or death like this.
788
01:15:20,900 --> 01:15:23,482
I'm Melvin's mother.
He's a good boy.
789
01:15:23,931 --> 01:15:25,779
He's never hurt anybody!
790
01:15:27,876 --> 01:15:32,686
Silence! Silence!
The orders have been given!
791
01:15:33,243 --> 01:15:36,571
It is our destiny to follow the orders!
792
01:15:46,243 --> 01:15:50,119
You in the tent, come out
with your hands up!
793
01:15:50,212 --> 01:15:51,572
You are surrounded!
794
01:15:52,650 --> 01:15:53,705
Grrr?
795
01:15:55,751 --> 01:15:57,473
The minute he comes out, kill him.
796
01:15:59,798 --> 01:16:01,298
- I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.
797
01:16:01,330 --> 01:16:02,567
You've got to stay here.
798
01:16:02,599 --> 01:16:07,156
No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero. I
can't let you do it! I can't let you do it!
799
01:16:07,181 --> 01:16:09,681
Don't shoot him! Don't shoot!
800
01:16:09,705 --> 01:16:12,478
If you want to shoot my son,
you'll have to shoot me first!
801
01:16:20,639 --> 01:16:23,061
Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there!
802
01:16:24,931 --> 01:16:26,931
It's okay, Mom. Kids.
803
01:16:26,954 --> 01:16:27,954
Shoot it!
804
01:16:28,016 --> 01:16:29,516
Run! Run! Grrr!
805
01:16:30,001 --> 01:16:31,001
Fire!
806
01:16:31,033 --> 01:16:33,394
No, I won't do it.
807
01:16:33,494 --> 01:16:35,139
These kids are right.
808
01:16:40,610 --> 01:16:42,147
Captain, have your men fire!
809
01:16:42,165 --> 01:16:43,444
No, I can't.
810
01:16:43,728 --> 01:16:45,228
Shoot them! You shoot!
811
01:16:51,697 --> 01:16:52,518
Fire!
812
01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:53,557
Melvin!
813
01:16:53,579 --> 01:16:55,079
Alright, I'll do it myself!
814
01:16:55,351 --> 01:16:56,417
No!
815
01:16:57,056 --> 01:16:59,535
You touch me again and I'll kill you!
816
01:17:18,165 --> 01:17:19,609
Get away from me!
817
01:17:21,338 --> 01:17:22,664
Get away from me!
818
01:17:24,353 --> 01:17:27,258
No!
Ah, get away from me!
819
01:17:27,540 --> 01:17:29,687
Leave me alone!
Look, I'll make you a deal!
820
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:32,141
I'll give you 10%, anything,
just leave alone!
821
01:17:32,258 --> 01:17:33,021
Grr!
822
01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:35,529
Don't hurt me!
I'm too young to die!
823
01:17:35,563 --> 01:17:37,063
Please don't hurt me!
824
01:17:37,079 --> 01:17:40,013
Please!
825
01:17:41,095 --> 01:17:43,934
You fat slob,
let's see if you have any guts!
826
01:17:46,055 --> 01:17:49,055
Aaahhh!
827
01:17:59,915 --> 01:18:04,421
Officer O'Clancy,
take care of this toxic waste.
828
01:18:07,939 --> 01:18:09,142
Melvin!
829
01:18:09,533 --> 01:18:10,260
Sarah!
830
01:18:10,641 --> 01:18:11,641
Melvin!
831
01:18:11,657 --> 01:18:12,603
Sara!
832
01:18:12,775 --> 01:18:14,283
Melvin! Ah!
833
01:18:14,532 --> 01:18:15,674
Sarah!
834
01:18:15,696 --> 01:18:16,823
Melvin!
835
01:18:17,056 --> 01:18:18,370
Sarah!
836
01:18:18,433 --> 01:18:19,553
Melvin?
837
01:18:20,159 --> 01:18:20,995
Sarah!
838
01:18:44,431 --> 01:18:48,431
So, Melvin, the monster hero,
rid Tromaville of all of it's evils,
839
01:18:48,438 --> 01:18:52,006
so the good citizens could live
their lives in peace and happiness.
840
01:18:53,228 --> 01:18:56,092
And the next time you're in
danger or in need to help,
841
01:18:56,445 --> 01:19:00,326
look to the horizon and
maybe, just maybe...
842
01:19:01,642 --> 01:19:04,225
The Toxic Avenger will be there.61772
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.