All language subtitles for Jane.The.Virgin.S05E10.iNTERNAL.720p.WEB.h264-BAMBOOZLE

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, boy, oh, boy. You'll recall

we last left our Jane
working with her father

on This Is Mars, which,
you'll recall, was a remake

of The Passions
of Steve and Brenda,

which, of course, was a remake
of The Passions of Santos.

But the creative juices
weren't flowing for everyone.

Mateo is really struggling
with his reading.

He is quite far behind
the rest of the class.

Just read a lot to him.

Play word games.
Just engage him.

And so Jane and Rafael tried
to put their feelings aside

to focus on their son.
Art?

But this was easier said
than done for poor Jane.

See, she still loved Rafael,
but he'd moved on,

and Jane was trying to as well.

JANE:
It was the first time
I've been with him in weeks

where my heart
didn't just break.

It was brief, but still,
there was a moment.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Also trying to move forward?

Petra and J.R. See,

J.R. lost her job
because Petra had lied.

But they decided
to work through it.

Aw, I heart them.

Only problem?
RAMOS: My mentor.

She thinks she found me
a job opportunity.

What? That's amazing.

Thing is, the job's in Houston.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Also facing a big decision...

Rafael and Jane let Mateo meet
his Aunt Luisa.

But unfortunately...
DENNIS: Rafael.

It's Dennis. Do you know
where your sister is?

Yes, I do.

Well, we just found out

that all the money
from Rose's Satin Road

was funneled into an account
under her name.

We think they're still
working together.

I know!
Straight out of a telenovela,

which this is, after all.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva
was 30 years old...

I'm pregnant.
Huh?

(gasps)

Wait, what?

I didn't even have sex.

Okay, now I'm really confused.

ROGELIO:
Jane!

I have big news.

Ah, I see.

She's writing her novel.

Sorry, I lost focus
for a second.

Juggling a lot of things.
So?

What are you working on?

Since Alba and Jorge
are on their honeymoon,

I'm taking advantage of the
quiet time to work on my novel.

Well, quiet time is over!

The network liked your

This Is Mars outline so much,

they want you
to write the pilot script.

What? That's amazing.
Oh, my God.

Are you serious?

(squeals, laughs)

Mm!
So amazing.

They did insist,
however,

that you be paired
with a senior writer.

Just to help guide you.

Oh, I'll take all the guidance
I can get. Who'd they hire?

It's actually Dina, since she
worked on the original Santos.

Really? Dina's willing
to work with you again?

Well...

No way in hell.

You never respected
me as a writer.

I was constantly putting out
fires you created,

and you cut me out

of your American version
of The Passions of Santos

even though I created it.

To be honest, she called
the prospect of working with me

again "a real life low."

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And that was after she called
him "a real lowlife."

But money talks,
and the network met her price.

So get ready to live on Mars.

(stifled scream)

Uh, one more thing.

Hmm.

$7,500?

Holy crap.

I can... I can
actually pay my bills.

And you'll get more
when you finish the script.

Though, of course, you'll
have to split it with Dina.

That's fine with me,
I'm just, uh...

RAMOS:
So overwhelmed.

You're right,
taking out the sweaters.

See? I have no idea
what to pack.

I mean, I've never
even been to Houston.

What am I supposed to do there?

Eat barbecue
and talk about the Astros?

PETRA:
Always a good idea to talk
about football in Texas.

(chuckles) The Astros are
baseball, not football.

Same difference.

You know, it's funny,
I never saw myself

working for a non-profit,
or in public policy,

but...

I should at least
go check it out, right?

Yes, absolutely.

This is a really
good opportunity,

and you shouldn't
second-guess it.
(sighs)

What's taking you
so long in there?
Here I come.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, hey,
it's Houston Petra, y'all.

Wow.
I wanted to show you

that when I come to Houston,
I can fit

right in with all
your new friends.

You're really sweet...

(laughs)

...and so crazy.

Look, if we have to do
long distance, we will.

(laughs):
I'm sorry, Petra, that hair...

(Southern accent):
Oh, I'm not Petra.

No, I'm Patti, tonight.

Well, come here, Patti.

MARLENE:
I'm so into this.

The writing is great,
the story moves,

this first chapter just works.

(laughs):
Who is your mentor?

Oh, right, me. (laughing)

Marlene, what has gotten
into you? You're so happy.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I don't think
I've ever seen

Marlene's teeth before.
They are white.

Because the writing is so great.

Okay, and I also
have a new lover!

(laughs) But really, I would
have been this happy anyway,

because of your writing.

Okay, a click less happy
but still very happy.

You're doing
great, Jane.

Keep it up.

Thank you. I-I plan to.

Although,
now I have to divide my time

between my novel
and my dad's telenovela.

Oh, well, don't lose focus
on your novel.

Because I would love to show it
to a friend in the industry.

Really? That would be...
Okay, okay.

The friend is actually my lover.

(laughs) She's in publishing,
and she's a genius.

That's amazing.
She's amazing.

You're amazing.
Write that novel, you have to.

I will. I will work on it
in the mornings,

and the telenovela
in the afternoons.

I will have new material
for you to show your lover

in a couple weeks.

Great. We'll probably
be married by then.

Oh!
I'm kidding.

Oh, maybe I'm not. Ah!

Okay, I got to go.

I have a meeting
with Mateo's teacher.

He's having trouble
learning to read.

Oh, that's funny,

because you're a writer.

Yeah, funny.
(chuckles)

Hadn't thought of that.

You seem a little
wired this morning.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR (chuckles):
Maybe he has a new lover.

I am just excited.

I am close to selling
my first million dollar house,

and there is a couple coming

for their second appointment
this week.

Ms. Everette, hi.
Thanks for coming in.

Thank you.
Of course.
So I just thought

we should discuss
Mateo's progress.

Great. We wanted to
check in, too. At home,

his rhyming is improving, but
he'd still rather build castles

with his flashcards
than do his work.

Yeah, but who wouldn't?
I wouldn't.

Besides you.
Well, one
of the reasons

I called you in is because I'm
wondering whether there might be

something else
going on with Mateo.

There's no cause
for alarm,

but sometimes
when kids are struggling

more than they should,
just, you know,

makes sense to have them tested.

Uh, tested for what, exactly?

Could be any number of things.
Could be a learning disability,

it could be a sensory
processing disorder,

ADHD, dyslexia,

or it could be nothing at all.

This just could be who Mateo is.

But there's
enough red flags

that I do think it's worthwhile,

having him evaluated
by a professional.

So, uh, I'll call the doctor
and make an appointment today.

You really think
that's necessary?

He's only six.

And the teacher
said it herself,

it all might just be
his personality.

But she also said she thought
Mateo should get tested.

Well, I don't want to. No.

Wait, what do you mean, "No"?

He's just a kid
with a lot of energy.

I had a lot of energy
when I was a kid.

Uh, boys in general
have a lot of energy.

Great, so then what's the harm
of getting him tested?

Because they'll find something,
even if there's nothing to find.

People these days, they hand out
diagnoses like Halloween candy.

I'm sorry,
but I am putting my foot down.

You're putting your foot down?

He is not getting tested,
end of story.

Now I got to get back to work.

"End of story."

(scoffs)
Well, you know what?

(chuckles) I'm the writer,
I'll end the story.

Hi, this is Jane Villanueva.
I'd like to make

an urgent appointment for my son
as soon as possible.

Yes, I'll hold.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Man, I can't believe Jane made

that doctor's appointment
behind Rafael's back.

Oops. Wrong appointment.

Boy, I really got to focus.

Hi, good to see you.

Let's jump in. I have
a lot of notes, and we need

to turn a finished script in
to the studio in two weeks.

Wow, that fast, huh?

Yeah. That's how it works in TV.

Everybody's on deadline
all the time, and we need to do

rounds and rounds
of rewrites for the studio

and then again
for the network.

The work never stops.

Is that too much for you?

Of course not.
Agreed.

Of course not. I'm
excited to get started.

ROGELIO: All right,
the dream team.

With your talent and passion
combined with Dina's

decades of experience...
One more thing.

I will only speak to you.

Any thoughts
your dad may have

must only be relayed
through you.

What?

(clears throat)

Uh, ask her "What?"

What?
No need for "what."
You got it.

Now your father needs to leave
so I can give you my notes.

Dina, I assure you,
I'll be nothing but...
Jane?

Is someone speaking?

You know what, Dad? Maybe
it's best if you go.

Dina and I can take
care of it from here.

Uh...

Of course.
Okay.

(quietly):
Dad...

Okay. Let's get to work.

It worked.

Our scientists did it.

They've made the air
sustainable for life,

which resulted in this...

(exhales):
Wow...

...the first-ever
Martian flower.

It is an amazing achievement
for our administration.

Wow. This should be the symbol

on the new
Martian-American flag.

Crumple it.

Crumple the flower.

Don't listen to
that Earth child.

You can't crumple the
first Martian flower.

See?

That's what happens
to your virginity.

Once it's gone,
you can never, ever get it back.

(scoffs) Please,
it's a little late for that.

My flower's been crumpled
for 96 Martian years.

What is she talking about?
What is this?

(exhales)

(heavenly choir singing)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Good, Jane.

Focus on the telenovela.

RAFAEL:
Flowers are not gonna make
me forgive you, Luisa.

Your signature was
all over Rose's bank accounts.

The woman can forge faces, I'm
sure she can forge a signature.

I promise,
I'm not part of...

whatever criminal things
she's doing.
And I don't believe you.

You have lied
too many times before.

But I'm not lying now.

Come on, Rafael.
Think of how far we've come.

I'm sorry. Rose is too
dangerous. I can't risk it.

How did it go?
Did he believe you?

(sighs)
No.

Well, don't give up, girl.

Get him some proof
that you're innocent.

You're so sweet to care so much.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, sweet, or diabolical,

conniving and working for
your psychopath ex-girlfriend.

Oh, you know
who you have to go see?
Who?

Your psychopath ex-girlfriend.

"Sociopath."

Oh, my bad.
Mine, too.

Maybe she could
help with proof.

No. It's too hard
for me to see her.

That woman's all hair
and cheekbones.

Luisa, you are stronger
than you know.

And your brother's
worth it, right?

Come on. You got this, girl.

PETRA:
Girls, Mommy needs

some privacy. Stay in your room

and play with your toys.

RAMOS (over phone):
You've reached Jane Ramos.

Please leave a message.
Hey, J.R.,

it's me. I'm-I'm sorry
I keep missing you.

Call me back when you can.

(Southern accent):
Oh, it's, uh,

it's Patti, by the way.

Who's Patti?
(regular accent):
Don't you knock?

I did.
I guess Patti didn't hear me.

Okay, well...
(scoffs)

if you must know,
J.R. is in Houston right now,

and we haven't spoken
since she left.

We keep missing each other.
I'm sorry.

That sucks. And Patti?

Never mind about Patti.
Look, the girls

will be ready for you
in a second. Girls!

Uh-- stop playing. Let's go!

Oh, I should warn you,
they're obsessed

with their new circuit builder.

They can't focus
on anything else.
(chuckles)

Maybe we should
have them tested, too.

Uh, Mateo's teacher suggested

getting him tested
for a learning disability

or an attention thing
and Jane's all for it.

But it's ridiculous,
because there's nothing wrong.

Really?

He's six. He's rambunctious.

Or there's a real problem

that needs to be addressed.
There isn't.

Rafael, your daughters
are in therapy,

you're on antidepressants.

Your son may also need
some professional help.

Okay, look, I know
it's hard, all right?

But, hey, as Patti would say,

(Southern accent):
when you dig a ditch,
that dirt's got to go somewhere.

What the hell does that mean?
(regular accent):
It means

get over yourself and have Mateo
take the damn test.

Okay, so I thought
about what you said,

and I think
you're right.

We should get Mateo tested.

So, I will

call the doctor.

Oh, no, wait, um... I'll do it.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She already did it!

But later. I-I just want
to be in front of my computer

so that I can take notes
if they say anything important.

Oh, it's okay. I have a pen.
I'll just take notes.
Um...

You're gonna lose your tip.
Go. I'll handle this.

Sorry.

Hi, I'd like
to make an appointment.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Focus, Jane!

Hey, hey, hey...
Oh! Oh, oh--
shoot. Oh, sorry.

(laughs softly)

Wow.

What are the, uh, chances?

They already have an appointment
scheduled for a boy

named Mateo Gloriano Rogelio
Solano Villanueva.

(laughs) Who knew
it was such a popular name?

You went behind my back?
Seriously?
It's just, uh,

the doctor's really hard to get
into, so I didn't want to wait,

plus, everything I've read
about these learning issues

says that early diagnosis
is extremely important,

and I just felt like you were
acting irrationally, so...

Oh, so you're diagnosing me,
too, now, Doctor?

I just meant...
I don't want to hear it,

I will see you at the test.

And then he walked away.
Didn't even say bye.

Yikes, that's bad.
Right?

You just went behind his back
and made the appointment?

I know, I know. It's awful.

(phone buzzing)

It's Marlene. Hey.

Jane, I have to tell you
something,

but you have to promise
not to get mad at me.

I gave your pages to my lover!
What...

And my lover loved your pages

and can't wait to see the next
installment in two weeks.

Uh, wait, I-I won't be
done with it in two weeks.

The telenovela writing
is taking up more of my time.

No, Jane, you cannot
let the novel languish.

Opportunities like this are
rare, and so is inspiration.

You're right. Okay.

Who needs sleep?
(chuckles)

Not me and Jill.
Now get to work.

I'm beginning to think we need
to put our phone calls

on the calendar if we're ever

gonna be able to talk.
I know.

Long distance sucks.
But I do have 15 minutes before

my next round of interviews.
PETRA: Okay!

What's the most important thing
for us to talk about?

The people? The weather?
The chicken?

Actually, I'm not really
in the mood to talk.

Oh.

Well, do you want me
to get Patti?

No. I think I want Petra.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw...

Ooh, they nasty.

(Petra moaning)

What are you doing here?
Uh, nothing.

I-I, I wanted to talk to Petra
but sounds like she's busy,

so I'll come back.
What's going on out here?

Nothing.
She was spying on you.

I wasn't.
Mind your own business, Temp.

And get me a water, I'm parched.
I bet.

Um, are you alone in here?

(sighs)
Well, if you must know,

J.R. and I were
just having FaceTime sex.

Ooh.
Because out
of the blue,

a job opportunity came up,
but it's in Houston.

Houston.
Yes. It's in immigration,

and I'm really happy for her.

Of course you are.

Then again,
Houston is pretty far away.

Oh, people make long distance
work all the time.
Come on, Petra.

Okay, fine. I'm terrified
of what will happen,

but I can't stand in the way
of her happiness.

Has J.R. looked
for immigration jobs in Miami?

I don't know.

It's worth a conversation.

Speaking of jobs,

can I have nights off
for the next two weeks?

I need more writing time.

Yeah, sure.

How's the telenovela going?

Yeah-- it's definitely
out there.

Do not worry.

I had our spacesuits customized

so we could make
love in outer space.

Oh, good. Thank God.

It's okay, we're married.

Who is this chick?

(air escaping)
(screams)

¡Dios mío!

Wha...?

(exhales)

(heavenly choir singing)

How's it going?

Eh, balancing the novel
and the telenovela

is turning out to be
a lot harder than I thought.

(chuckles)
Oh-- don't worry,

I won't let Dad down.

I'll just put the novel aside
for a while,

and focus on finishing
the telenovela.

And you're okay with that?

Of course. Ready to go,
Mr. Sweetface? Mwah.

(sighs)

JANE: Do you remember
what we talked about earlier?

You're gonna have a fun day.

And you get to play fun games,
and a lot of kids do this,

so don't worry, 'cause it's
gonna be really, really fun.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Maybe overselling the fun...

And when you're done,
we can go get ice cream.

(gasps)
Hey.
(imitates explosion)

Hi, guys.
Hi.

So the evaluation will
take about three hours.

Feel free to go
get a cup of coffee

and come back when
it's all done.

BOTH:
Thank you.

Ready, Mateo?

Bye, Mr. Sweetface. Mwah.

See you soon, buddy.

I'm really sorry.

I-I know I overstepped.

Yeah, you're right, which is why
I've decided to get a lawyer,

so we can adjust our custody
agreement to make sure

you never make another
medical decision for Mateo

without my input again.

Uh, uh...

A lawyer?

U-Uh, isn't that
a little extreme?

Rafael, can we at least talk?
No.

What do you mean, "No"?

I mean, I have to open a house
to potential buyers,

and I got a bunch
of muffins in my trunk.

Muffins?
Is that a euphemism?

I'll be back to pick up my son
after the evaluation.

Wait, you can't
just leave like that.

(tires screeching)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Don't do it, Jane.

Just focus on Mateo.

(tires screeching)

Oh, no.

Looks like we got ourselves
a high-speed car chase.

Well, more like
a "going the speed limit

and obeying stop signs" chase.
(phone ringing)

Are you chasing me?

JANE:
Yes! Because it's not okay

to say something like,
"I'm getting a lawyer,"

and then run away.

Oh, but it's okay
to go behind my back

to make a major medical decision

about our son?

I understand
that you're upset with me,

but I really don't think
we need to get lawyers involved.

Go screw yourself!

Are you kidding me right now?

You cannot talk to me like that.

No, I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to the guy

in front of me driving
like a complete ass!

Maybe if you weren't driving
like a maniac...

RAFAEL:
See you, sucker.

Was that to someone else?
Nope.

Rafael, can we please
talk about this?

(horn honking, metal crashes
over phone)

RAFAEL: Damn it.
Are you okay?

Yeah. I got
into a fender bender.

(beeps)

Are you hurt?
RAFAEL:
No, I'm fine.

But I have a showing
and now I have

to wait for the police
to show up.

Let me go to the house.

What?
Text me the address and I'll

stall the buyers
until you get there.

Just give me your muffins.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us to...

Jane the Realtor.

Oh, uh,
we were expecting...

Mr. Solano, I know.

I'm his associate, uh,
he should be here any minute.

Uh, but, he just asked me
to show you around.

Great. Well, I'm excited
to show

my husband Kenny the place.
He missed the open house,

but I absolutely
fell in love with it.

KENNY:
Can't wait. Let's see it.

Sure. Uh, but first

would you like to just
take a beat and enjoy a muffin?

No, thanks.
Just the tour.

Great.

Uh, well, um, th-this here
is the living room.

As you can see,
it is very... roomy,

uh, really built for living.

(softly):
Right.

And, uh, over here we have...

the bathroom.

I-I, I don't know why
I said that so surprised.

It's a bathroom. (chuckles)

What year was this house built?

Mmm...

uh...

why don't you take a guess?

MORGAN:
Uh...

the '90s?

Ding, ding, ding!

Good eye.

Oh, look! Here we have a...

another bathroom.

Why don't you check
this one out?

You know, take your time.

You know, feel free to check
the water pressure,

really get to know the space.
I'll wait out here.

I'd love to know
the walkability score.
Uh...

yes, that-that
is good to know.

Um... I can
personally attest

that it's
very... flat.

(chuckles)
Like most of Florida.

You know, easy to
walk here. No hills.

I meant access to local shops
and restaurants.

Of course, I was just
getting to that.

Excellent access.

Yeah, you can,
you can really

get to so many
things, um...

gas stations,
coffee shops,

other stores.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hurry up, Rafael.

I can't watch this.

So how much longer
is this gonna take?

Never mind,
take your time.

So, the microwave
is built into the cabinet.

Pretty cool.

Uh, a-as you can see,
the stove is, uh, gas.

What about the HVAC?

Is that gas
or electric?

That is a great question.
You guys came prepared.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Someone had to.

Let me just pull up the specs.

What's wrong?
Is there something

you're not telling us
about the HVAC?

No, of course not.
The, the HVAC is amazing.

Top of the line.
Have you tried the muffins?

What my associate
is trying to say

is that the HVAC was
just updated last year.

It's eco-friendly and it uses
an electric heating coil.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, thank God, I was about

to put in an offer
just to end this misery.

They also have questions
about the walkability score.

Hmm, 80, which is great.
Not only are you blocks

from the grocery score,
but you could even

walk to your
local elementary school.

KENNY:
That's good to hear.

But it is
in a flood zone.

This is Miami.
Everything's in a flood zone.

That's what insurance is for.

RAFAEL:
Exactly.

If you plan
when things are good,

then you are covered
if things are bad.

I mean, can't you
just imagine our son

growing up here? We could
put in a swing set,

there's plenty of
room in the den

for his blanket forts,
and look at that tree--

you've been wanting to
build a tree house forever.

It's pretty idyllic.

And as he gets older, he can
really grow into that room.

Okay, let's do it.

MORGAN:
We'll have our agent
put in the offer tonight.

Perfect. Come on.
I'll walk you guys out.

Yeah.

(exhales)

Congratulations,
expert real estate guy.
(door closes)

Sorry, but that was stressful
and I missed breakfast.

(chuckles)
Thanks for covering my ass.

It was the
least I can do.

And I'm so sorry...

for going behind
your back.

And for chasing you down
the streets of Miami.

Obviously, we can
say without a doubt

I'm in the wrong.

That was really hard,
you know?
What?

Hearing that couple talk
about their kid's future.

Just kind of hit me.

What if Mateo
really has an issue?

We don't know
that he does.

But what if he does?

Then we'll deal with it.
I know.

But I think you just
want your kid to have,

like, a normal life.

Whatever that means.

It will be.

His normal.

Look, here's
what I know.

Mateo is the same
amazing kid today

as he was yesterday.

And now it's just up
to us to figure out

how we can support that
kid that we both love

so much as best we can.

And we will.

Because no matter what,
we're in this together.

And...

I'm sorry I acted
like we weren't.

You are forgiven.

And thank you.

Muffin bottom?

Yeah.

(inhales sharply)

So, uh, one of us
should go pick up Mateo.

The only thing
more traumatizing

than a three-hour doctor
appointment is to get out

to find out that your
parents forgot about you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I can think of something
more traumatizing.

Wow.

Just...

beautiful.

My prison girlfriend

has nothing on you.

Oh. So you're dating?

Mostly I just close my eyes
and pretend she's you.

As flattering as that is...

that is not why I'm here.

There are these bank documents,

and my name is on them,
and obviously

I never signed them, so I need
you to tell my brother that.

I'll tell him whatever you want.

Thank you.

But you did sign them.
What?

No, I didn't.
Remember that night

on the submarine?

When we dressed up
as Victoria's Secret Angels?

In Liverpool?

Madagascar.

You were in the
Giselle sequin wings,

I was in the Naomi feathers.

♪ ♪

You were drunk and
insecure about us.

And I said I'd prove
my love to you

by giving you everything I had?

I gave you...

all of my accounts.

You signed the documents,
putting everything in your name.

Oh, my God, I do remember.

(exhales)

I signed the papers
and then that man that said

that he works for
Paul Manafort came on board

and took everything.
Exactly.

And after Michael
started sniffing around,

I had to do something
to stop him, didn't I?

So you...

Would do anything
to protect you?

Even though you're the
reason I'm in prison?

Yes.

Why are you trying
to claw your way

back into Rafael's life
when you have someone

who loves you?

Unconditionally.

I even sent someone
to watch over you.

"Girl"?

Girl. Girl. Girl.

Go to him, Luisa.

Then I'll know you love me, too.

That will never happen.

We'll see.

(journalists clamoring)
Listen up,
everyone, focus.

I assure you we are
addressing our oxygen shortage.

Our Martian filters
will deliver

breathable air
very soon.

(clamoring)
Yes, you.

Mr. President,
what about the rumored affair

with your interplanetary
ambassador?

For the last time,
my relationship with Blooki

is strictly professional.

REPORTER:
So you deny the rumors?

She doesn't even
have a mouth.

(Blooki screeches)

(reporters clamoring)

What about the milkshake?

I'm gonna have a baby?

MATEO:
Yes, me, Mommy.

Mom? Mommy.
What about me?

I can't focus.

Mommy, Mommy. Mommy!

ALL (chanting):
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...

Oh, boy.

Is it a bad time?

Nope. Actually,
I can use a break.

But don't worry,
I'll get Dina the pages.

Actually, that's
why I'm here.

Uh...

I spoke to
your mother...

and I want to let
you off the hook.

What do you mean?
Well, you can quit
the telenovela

if you'd rather
be writing your novel.

No, no. I-I'm just
feeling overwhelmed.

There's a lot going on
right now.

You won't hurt my feelings
if you don't want to do it.

Thanks, Dad.

But it's also a lot of money.

Well, being paid
to make art is tricky.

Money can buy a lot of things.

But passion isn't one of them.

You have to follow
your passion.

And, frankly, I need

someone who will live
and breathe the telenovela.

Because this is my passion.

My novel has been calling to me.

Then answer the muse.
Dina will write the show.

But she won't even speak to you.

Let me worry about that.
You get your book done.

PETRA:
Oh, thank God.

I missed you so much.
Mmm.

It's just been
a few days.
Mmm.

I know, but I missed you
every minute of those days.

Mmm.

So?
Drumroll.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
On it.
(drumroll)

They offered me the job.

Really?

Congratulations.
Wait.

That's not even
the biggest news.

I got another job offer

on the way back
from the airport.

From the Florida
Immigrant Commission.

Oh, that's great news.

They don't even want
to interview me.

They said I came
so highly recommended.

Yes.

By one of their biggest donors.

Wait, you did this?

I sit on the board

of several charitable
organizations in Miami.

When I learned
you were interested
in immigration policy,

I put out feelers for any
similar opportunities here.

Without asking me first?

I thought you'd be happy.

You don't have
to move to Houston.

We don't have
to do long distance.

I can't believe
you did that.

There was a problem,
and I solved it.

Wh-What's the issue?

The issue is I want a
girlfriend, not a headhunter.

Don't you think you've
done enough for my career?

I was only trying to help.
After what happened

last time, your help is...

the last thing I need.

I know there's a lot
of anxiety for parents

around this
whole process,

so I'll cut
to the chase.

I believe Mateo does have ADHD.

I w...

What does that mean
for him, specifically?

Well, Mateo really struggles
with both inattention

and impulsivity.

His executive functions

are somewhat impaired,
which is why

tasks aren't completed, why he
has trouble self-regulating.

It's just harder
for Mateo to focus

and prioritize
than it is for other kids.

How can we help him?

Well, there are
treatment options that range

from behavior interventions
to medication.

I'm happy to go over
all of that with you.

Thank you.

Sorry, I...

just trying to imagine
what it feels like for Mateo.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You know what? Let me show you
what it feels like.

Oh, wait, look at that.

Whoops. Spoiler alert.

Oh, hello, Alba.

Ooh, pretty bug.

Now, where were we?

(exhales)
You okay?
Yeah. Fine.

Oh, come on.

You were the strong one
for me yesterday.

I promise I'm good,
so if you need to fall apart

a little... I'm here.

I'm just scared.

And a little sad.

Yeah, I know.

I just want him
to have a good life.
He will.

I don't want it
to be harder.

It might be.
Oh...

But, hey, that's
all he knows.

I just keep thinking
about something

a friend of mine said.

How Mateo's the same great kid
today as he was yesterday.

(sighs)

That friend sounds
super smart.

She can be.

We've got this.
Together.

All right, I'm going to win Dina
over with this super-sized

cupcake I made.
What do you think?

Isn't that just a cake?

It's-- oh.

No baked goods,

Rogelio, that won't help.

(sighs)
Hey.

Hey.

You doing okay?

How are you feeling about Mateo?

Uh, I'm still processing,
but okay.

Good.

And you and Rafael?

Also better.

But we are adjusting
our custody agreement.

It's kind of like

homeowner's insurance.

You get it when things are good

to protect when things aren't.

I think that's smart.

And I also think
you look sad.

I just don't want to prepare
for a future

where Rafael and I
aren't together.

But it's like Mateo's diagnosis.

I don't like it, it's hard,
but I have to accept it.

Relationships change,
people change.

Yes. That's so true.

And you know what?

That's exactly why I don't need
this giant cupcake.

I mean, I would
have had some.

Oh.

I was very clear. I will only
speak to you through Jane.

I know. And that's actually
what I'm here about.

Jane is no longer
working on this project.

Therefore, is no longer
available to act as our buffer.

Then I'm off the project.

Please, Dina.

I don't trust anyone else
to get it right.

You were there
from the beginning,

and you're the only one
who has the passion for it.

Well, you should have
thought about that

one of the numerous times
you so egregiously

mistreated and disrespected me!

You're right. I was a selfish
and inconsiderate man.

But I've changed since
we last worked together.

Why should I believe that?

I thought you
might ask that,

which is why it's not my word
I'm asking you to believe.

It's theirs.

♪ ♪

I have also

egregiously mistreated
and disrespected

each of these women.

He abandoned me for his career.

He broke his contract
and ruined my reality show.

He burned off my eyebrows,

got my toe bitten off by a wolf,

and paralyzed half my face.

Oh, my God.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Geez, how is this guy
still standing?

And yet they have
all forgiven me.

I had a baby with him.

I married him.

I signed on to spend
the next seven to ten years

of my life with him.

And they did that because
I've grown and changed.

Sort of.
A little.

His heart's in the right place.

ROGELIO:
Dina, I promise,

if you decide to work with me
on this pilot,

I will not repeat the mistakes
of the past.

And because you have

zero reason to believe the
words coming out of my mouth,

I've even put it
in writing.

I've made us a contract.
For insurance.

So we have
rules in place

in case things go bad.

And these three women
are your guarantee

that it
will be enforced.

One toe out of line,

and I will have these three
in my ear.

I mean, seriously, like...

(nagging gibberish)

...from every direction.

Shut it, Rogelio!

Okay.

You got a deal.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you.

You won't regret this.

To Mars we go.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, sorry.

Lost focus for a second.

Here we are.

I didn't mean to overstep.

I love you.

I would never do anything
to undermine your happiness.

I know I overreacted.

Yeah, you were just
trying to help.

Honestly, I think
I was just...

looking for a fight.

Why?

Thing is...

spending time in Houston
made me realize

how much I need
a fresh start.

Nobody there
knows my history

or looks at me like
I'm a criminal or...

a bartender.

Really...

the idea of starting over

is even more appealing
than the job itself.

Oh.

I am so sorry.

No. I get it.
(chuckles)

I understand the need
for a fresh start.

We'll just...

make long distance work.

Patti's been begging me
for a comeback.

No, I mean a...
complete fresh start.

(sniffles)
Being away for a few days

helped me understand...

that it's impossible
for me to look at you

without seeing all
of our baggage.

I've forgiven you,
but I want to put

the trauma of this
past year behind me.

And I can't do that
with you in my life.

What?

No.

(softly):
I'm so sorry.

But I... need
to start over.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And as Petra's heart broke
into a million pieces,

Jane was finally able

to put the pieces
of her novel together.

See, as soon as she cleared
the distractions from her mind,

her executive functions
began to, well...

really function.

Jane, I need to talk to you.

I need you to lock
your front door.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, looks like Jane
included Petra in the novel.

Jane!

(crying)
Oh, my bad.

What's wrong? S-Sit.

(sobbing)

Can I use this rag?

Well, that's my sweatshirt...
(blows nose)

J.R.'s taking the
job in Houston

and she broke up with me,

and I feel like someone cut
out a piece of my heart.

Oh, Petra.

I'm fine. I should go.

I just thought
you'd want to know.

Sit your butt back down here.

You're not
going anywhere.

Okay. Can I sleep
here tonight?

Of course.
Just give me a second.

(sighs)
(sobbing)

You want to hear
something really stupid?

I-I was gonna propose.

Oh, no.

Hey, it could be
a friendship ring.

Ah, it's already engraved.

"Petra and Jane."

(laughs, sobs)

Thank you for letting
me stay here.

That's what sisters are for.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw.

If only our story
could end there.

But this is a telenovela
after all.

Luisa, you have
to stop calling me.

I just needed to tell you
something important.

I did sign my name
to Rose's accounts.

I knew it.

You are such a liar.

No, I wasn't lying.
I just didn't remember doing it.

It was years ago when I was...
I was blackout drunk.

Oh, of course.
But I am not...

still working with Rose.

I promise.
Luisa.

Enough. I'm done.

Don't come near me
or my family again.

♪ ♪

Hey, girl, what's up?

I'm in.

What does Rose need me to do?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, boy.

I don't want to focus on that.