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♪♪
2
00:00:04,684 --> 00:00:07,379
Halloween. Mua-ha-ha-ha.
3
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,145
It's heist time.
4
00:00:09,862 --> 00:00:11,085
- Dah!
- Thought you could get
5
00:00:11,143 --> 00:00:12,868
a head start on heist prep? Good luck.
6
00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:14,618
I'm already dressed.
7
00:00:14,676 --> 00:00:17,286
Well... I'm also dressed,
8
00:00:17,364 --> 00:00:19,037
and I made breakfast.
9
00:00:19,114 --> 00:00:22,340
- Wait, where are my eggs?
- In my belly.
10
00:00:22,458 --> 00:00:24,426
Now get a move on.
11
00:00:24,684 --> 00:00:25,973
It's heist time.
12
00:00:26,116 --> 00:00:27,950
I love Halloween!
13
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♪♪
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
Season 05 Episode 04
Title: "Halloveen"
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♪♪
15
00:00:44,483 --> 00:00:47,199
♪♪
16
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Some of you have asked me
what got me through prison.
17
00:00:50,856 --> 00:00:52,918
Was it my family?
Don't be stupid.
18
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:55,611
Was it knowing that my friends
would eventually get me out?
19
00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:57,584
Of course not, I never
believed in any of you.
20
00:00:57,651 --> 00:00:59,334
No, the only thing that
kept me sane
21
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,954
was planning for the
Halloween heist
22
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those many years doing hard time.
23
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- It was eight weeks.
- I also went to prison, dog.
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00:01:05,079 --> 00:01:07,161
- We're getting off track here.
- No, we're not, dog.
25
00:01:07,228 --> 00:01:09,186
Peralta's just trying to
play the sympathy card
26
00:01:09,244 --> 00:01:10,297
so we all go easy on him.
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I'd rather send you back to prison
28
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:13,986
- than see you win.
- Okay.
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This year, we compete for
the most elegant and regal
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of all prizes...
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A championship cummerbund.
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Or belt, as normal people call it.
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Belt... I'd like to
see the pair of slacks
34
00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:25,259
whose loops are large
enough for this belt.
35
00:01:25,330 --> 00:01:26,845
No, it is a cummerbund.
36
00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:28,385
- Well, whatever it is...
- Cummerbund.
37
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It's inscribed with the words,
"Amazing human/genius."
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The objective is to have it in
your possession at midnight.
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00:01:33,954 --> 00:01:35,656
This year, the competition
is not limited
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00:01:35,723 --> 00:01:37,471
- to winners of the past heists.
- That's right.
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00:01:37,528 --> 00:01:39,404
Any man, or woman has to
42
00:01:39,462 --> 00:01:40,861
... can enterinto it.
43
00:01:40,928 --> 00:01:43,162
- It's open to everyone.
- Ooh, every man for himself.
44
00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:44,783
It's like "Bachelor in Paradise."
45
00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:46,979
It's really cool that you
guys opened it up to anyone.
46
00:01:47,046 --> 00:01:48,339
Thanks. Yeah,
we talked about it,
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00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:49,612
and we just felt like
it was only fair.
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00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,091
I was being sarcastic.
You all suck,
49
00:01:51,148 --> 00:01:52,548
and I hope Jake goes back to jail.
50
00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:54,939
Oh, cool, I'm glad everyone feels
comfortable joking about that.
51
00:01:54,997 --> 00:01:56,634
- Not joking.
- Insult me all you want,
52
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for I have only this to say...
53
00:01:58,178 --> 00:01:59,935
Victory shall be mine!
54
00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:02,706
I heard you practicing in the shower.
You can't surprise me.
55
00:02:02,773 --> 00:02:05,175
Letting me into your life was
the worst mistake you ever made.
56
00:02:05,232 --> 00:02:06,733
Cool, fun take on our relationship.
57
00:02:06,791 --> 00:02:08,608
Well, I for one thing you're
perfect for each other...
58
00:02:08,665 --> 00:02:09,713
Feel like there's gonna be more.
59
00:02:09,770 --> 00:02:11,705
- Because you're both losers.
- There it is.
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00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:14,622
None of you stand a chance against me.
No courage, no patience,
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00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:15,718
no brains,
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and, of course, a bald old man.
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I'm younger than you.
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00:02:20,026 --> 00:02:21,689
No comeback for the bald thing,
I see.
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00:02:21,763 --> 00:02:23,712
Yeah,
I'm not doing the heist. I'm out.
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00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:24,905
Okay.
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- Bull crap.
- Yeah, right.
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00:02:26,473 --> 00:02:27,853
Just like
you were out last year.
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00:02:27,911 --> 00:02:30,673
- I was out last year.
- As a setup for this year.
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00:02:30,778 --> 00:02:32,746
You're good, Jeffords,
but not good enough.
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00:02:32,813 --> 00:02:35,515
In fact, you're an idiot.
I should've fired you long ago.
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00:02:35,582 --> 00:02:37,353
- What?
- Relax, Terry, chill out.
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00:02:37,493 --> 00:02:38,954
Get your undies out of your buns.
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00:02:39,064 --> 00:02:40,787
Now, if everyone would rise.
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00:02:40,854 --> 00:02:43,089
Rise like the army of the dead,
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00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:46,236
and follow me into the
bullpen of destiny.
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00:02:46,665 --> 00:02:47,837
This heist,
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the belt will not be
locked up or hidden away.
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00:02:50,531 --> 00:02:53,189
It will be suspended from
the ceiling in plain sight
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00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,868
- for all to see.
- How poetic.
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00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,725
It will hang just out of reach,
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00:02:56,783 --> 00:02:58,529
like Tantalus's fruit.
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00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,740
Yes, that's where I got
the inspiration from,
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00:03:00,798 --> 00:03:03,510
Greek mythology, not an episode
of the Nickelodeon show "Guts."
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00:03:03,577 --> 00:03:05,173
Amy, will you please do the honors?
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00:03:05,231 --> 00:03:06,459
Mm-hmm.
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00:03:09,216 --> 00:03:12,376
- The belt is in place.
- Whoever has it at midnight
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will be declared the...
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00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:15,134
What's going on?
90
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,556
- What's happening?
- I can't see!
91
00:03:16,623 --> 00:03:18,228
Everybody just grab
something random.
92
00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:19,401
Back off, Hitchcock.
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Silence!
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It's gone.
The cummerbund is gone!
95
00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:25,587
Who took it? We're all here.
Where'd it go?
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00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:27,734
Nowhere.
It's still in this room.
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00:03:27,892 --> 00:03:31,505
In fact, it's right here!
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00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,306
Nope, it's just your tum-tum.
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00:03:33,373 --> 00:03:37,276
I don't have the cummerbund,
because it's right here!
100
00:03:37,486 --> 00:03:40,514
Or is it right here?
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00:03:40,581 --> 00:03:41,948
Everybody stop undressing.
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00:03:42,015 --> 00:03:43,649
We just had harassment training.
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00:03:43,716 --> 00:03:46,520
Hey... over here, losers.
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00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:48,108
This is Gina Linetti.
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00:03:48,175 --> 00:03:50,156
You really thought you
could do this without me?
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00:03:50,223 --> 00:03:51,925
I'm the defending champion.
107
00:03:51,992 --> 00:03:54,462
Gina... I should have known
it was you, you punk.
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00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,205
Yeah, you punk,
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00:03:56,263 --> 00:03:58,139
why aren't you showing
your face, you punk?
110
00:03:58,206 --> 00:03:59,433
Yeah, I just had a baby.
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00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,358
I haven't washed my hair
in three weeks.
112
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:02,669
Oh, how is she?
113
00:04:02,736 --> 00:04:04,877
- Yeah, how's she doing?
- None of your business.
114
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,162
Now, if you wanna find the belt,
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00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:08,708
you're gonna have to work for it.
116
00:04:08,775 --> 00:04:10,877
Behind my desk are boxes of baby stuff
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00:04:10,944 --> 00:04:12,713
that I didn't wanna assemble.
118
00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:15,248
You get a clue for each
item you put together.
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00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,619
Linetti, Lin-out-ti.
120
00:04:17,677 --> 00:04:18,767
This is crazy.
121
00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:21,994
I mean, no one is actually gonna
do Gina's dumb chores, right?
122
00:04:22,055 --> 00:04:23,589
Right, absolutely not.
123
00:04:23,647 --> 00:04:25,182
It's completely ridiculous.
124
00:04:28,462 --> 00:04:30,363
I got the reach-and-play!
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00:04:30,430 --> 00:04:32,165
You can all suck it!
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00:04:37,905 --> 00:04:41,194
- They fell for it.
- Hook, line, and sphincter.
127
00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:43,165
- It's sinker.
- No, it's sphincter.
128
00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:45,018
That's where you put the
hook in when you're eeling.
129
00:04:45,075 --> 00:04:46,931
Well, I never use that
expression again.
130
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,681
- Hey, guys.
- Ah.
131
00:04:48,802 --> 00:04:51,504
- And right on time, here's Bill.
- Welcome.
132
00:04:51,571 --> 00:04:53,978
Man, it is amazing how
similar you guys look.
133
00:04:54,036 --> 00:04:55,245
- I don't see it.
- Me neither.
134
00:04:55,302 --> 00:04:56,315
- Not even a little.
- Not at all.
135
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:58,080
Twins. So,
did you have any issues
136
00:04:58,142 --> 00:05:00,023
- getting into the vents?
- Went like clockwork.
137
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,126
Sir, only authorized personnel
are allowed up here.
138
00:05:03,229 --> 00:05:05,072
Oh, Detective Boyle,
didn't see it was you.
139
00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:06,939
Get better eyes, you moron.
140
00:05:07,118 --> 00:05:09,611
Ah, man, I'm friends with Officer Lou.
141
00:05:09,669 --> 00:05:11,603
Not anymore. He was very upset.
142
00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,060
Anyway, once I got in the vents,
it was smooth sailing.
143
00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:15,634
The belt is in place.
144
00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:18,514
Whoever has it at midnight
will be declared the winner
145
00:05:18,572 --> 00:05:20,346
of the fifth annual...
146
00:05:20,413 --> 00:05:21,674
- What's going on?
- What's happening?
147
00:05:21,731 --> 00:05:23,845
I can't see! Everyone just
grab something randomly.
148
00:05:23,903 --> 00:05:25,444
Back off, Hitchcock.
149
00:05:29,776 --> 00:05:31,678
Hey, over here, losers.
150
00:05:31,745 --> 00:05:33,946
I gotta say, Bill,
your Gina impression was spot-on.
151
00:05:34,013 --> 00:05:35,085
I'm very good at roleplay,
152
00:05:35,152 --> 00:05:36,832
and I'm super comfortable wearing masks.
153
00:05:36,899 --> 00:05:38,789
Right, I forgot you were
maybe a male prostitute.
154
00:05:38,846 --> 00:05:40,203
I was definitely a male prostitute,
155
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:41,440
but I don't do that profession anymore.
156
00:05:41,497 --> 00:05:43,173
Now I sell vitamin supplements.
157
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,556
I made $90,000 this year alone,
158
00:05:45,614 --> 00:05:47,448
working out of the
comfort of my own home.
159
00:05:47,506 --> 00:05:48,534
- Uh-huh?
- How did I do it?
160
00:05:48,591 --> 00:05:49,619
- NutriBoom.
- Right.
161
00:05:49,677 --> 00:05:51,292
And the good news is,
you can do it too.
162
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,812
Okay, this is clearly a pyramid
scheme. We're not interested.
163
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,179
Okay, your loss.
164
00:05:55,237 --> 00:05:57,171
- Here's the belt...
- Ah...
165
00:05:57,229 --> 00:05:59,265
- she's a beauty.
- Hi-yah!
166
00:05:59,506 --> 00:06:01,345
Ow! Charles, what are you doing?
167
00:06:01,412 --> 00:06:03,257
The hardest thing I've
ever done: betraying you.
168
00:06:03,314 --> 00:06:04,663
Bill, the belt.
169
00:06:04,769 --> 00:06:06,311
- Bill, you're in on this too?
- Yep.
170
00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:08,122
Charles promised he'd
buy a ton of supplements
171
00:06:08,179 --> 00:06:09,566
and become one of my
downstream distributors.
172
00:06:09,623 --> 00:06:11,299
No, look, listen to me,
don't do this, okay?
173
00:06:11,356 --> 00:06:13,533
I really need to win this year.
I'm begging you.
174
00:06:13,611 --> 00:06:15,712
Those baby browns aren't
gonna work on me, not today.
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00:06:15,770 --> 00:06:16,775
This is crazy.
176
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:18,730
You're never gonna get out of
here with that belt on your own.
177
00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:20,689
I'm not on my own.
I have an alliance.
178
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:23,853
An alliance.
179
00:06:23,911 --> 00:06:26,369
It's not "Bachelor in
Paradise." It's "Survivor."
180
00:06:26,499 --> 00:06:28,211
Rosa,
I am very disappointed in you.
181
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,401
Your approval means
nothing to me.
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00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,790
Copy that. And Terry,
I knew you were playing.
183
00:06:31,863 --> 00:06:34,080
- Last year was a setup.
- Hell yeah, it was.
184
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,767
I'm sick of you, Amy,
and Holt winning.
185
00:06:35,825 --> 00:06:38,408
- You're all so damn smug.
- Yeah, you guys may be champs,
186
00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:41,787
but this year... this year
belongs to The Tramps.
187
00:06:41,845 --> 00:06:43,690
- Charles, that's a bad name.
- Ha, you're just jealous.
188
00:06:43,747 --> 00:06:45,001
- Everyone loves it.
- No.
189
00:06:45,059 --> 00:06:47,165
- Nuh-uh.
- Bill, keep an eye on him.
190
00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:50,246
Let's go, Tramps. Charles, no! No!
191
00:06:50,437 --> 00:06:52,866
Hey, let me ask you this,
how would you like to be your own boss?
192
00:06:52,923 --> 00:06:54,035
Not now, Bill!
193
00:06:58,689 --> 00:07:00,580
Amy! Amy, in here!
194
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,189
In here. Help.
195
00:07:03,495 --> 00:07:05,370
- Hello, fake Charles.
- Hi.
196
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,848
Hello, tied-up Jake.
197
00:07:06,914 --> 00:07:08,505
Will you please help me
get out of this?
198
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,393
It's not for the heist.
I just really have to pee.
199
00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:13,322
I know you don't drink water.
You pee once every two days.
200
00:07:13,438 --> 00:07:15,706
- And you went this morning.
- Damn it, you know me so well.
201
00:07:15,763 --> 00:07:16,708
All right, how about this?
202
00:07:16,766 --> 00:07:19,720
I've got top secret info
about various dealings.
203
00:07:19,866 --> 00:07:21,475
If you let me out of these cuffs,
204
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:23,490
- I'll share it with you.
- What kind of info?
205
00:07:23,548 --> 00:07:25,545
Well, first off, Wolf Gina...
206
00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:28,009
Was just a ruse so you and
Charles could steal the belt.
207
00:07:28,306 --> 00:07:29,967
Yeah-huh, but also...
208
00:07:30,025 --> 00:07:32,670
Charles teamed up with Rosa
and Terry to form The Tramps.
209
00:07:32,728 --> 00:07:33,951
Gah! How did you know that?
210
00:07:34,009 --> 00:07:35,580
I gave Charles the idea last year.
211
00:07:36,869 --> 00:07:38,830
Gina's one of the champs.
212
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,920
And I'm just one of the tramps.
213
00:07:40,978 --> 00:07:43,080
Ooh, The Tramps.
214
00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:45,415
That's a great name for something.
215
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,462
I just don't know what.
216
00:07:48,798 --> 00:07:49,865
But I do.
217
00:07:49,923 --> 00:07:52,556
I told you, I'll always
be one step ahead of you.
218
00:07:52,626 --> 00:07:54,704
You can't surprise me.
Ya boring.
219
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:56,507
You know what spices up
a relationship?
220
00:07:56,565 --> 00:07:58,353
Co-owning a multi-tiered marketing...
221
00:07:58,431 --> 00:07:59,867
Ignore him.
Look, there are three Tramps.
222
00:07:59,924 --> 00:08:01,627
The only way we're gonna
win is if we team up.
223
00:08:01,684 --> 00:08:04,595
Good point.
I guess my response is,
224
00:08:04,798 --> 00:08:06,824
rot in hell, crap-face!
225
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:08,541
Also, I love you, and I treasure you,
226
00:08:08,608 --> 00:08:11,069
- and ya bore me.
- God, you're being so mean.
227
00:08:11,688 --> 00:08:13,667
- Do it more.
- I hope you die.
228
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,197
Bye.
229
00:08:15,415 --> 00:08:18,824
Fine! Go! Who needs you,
ya freakin' jag!
230
00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:21,308
Looks like we're all clear.
Good job, guys.
231
00:08:21,366 --> 00:08:23,917
Oh, nothing can stop
this Tramp train.
232
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,441
Boyle, stop finding
variations on a word we hate.
233
00:08:26,499 --> 00:08:28,273
Okay, Sarge, lift up
the super heavy thing
234
00:08:28,331 --> 00:08:30,025
that no one else is
strong enough to lift.
235
00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:37,562
Nice, Sarge! Keep lifting
heavy stuff like that,
236
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,295
and maybe you'll work off
some of that bulk, huh?
237
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,689
- What?
- I set up an electric eye yesterday,
238
00:08:41,756 --> 00:08:43,796
so if anyone enters this room,
an alarm will go off.
239
00:08:43,863 --> 00:08:46,371
Let's move. Don't cross the beam.
240
00:08:53,058 --> 00:08:56,081
Cool, yeah, that's something I
can do, without any problem.
241
00:08:58,878 --> 00:09:00,097
Alarm works.
242
00:09:01,511 --> 00:09:02,556
All right, fine,
243
00:09:02,623 --> 00:09:04,969
looks like I'm gonna have
to "127 Hours" this sitch.
244
00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:07,146
- You're gonna cut off your own arm?
- Is that how it ends?
245
00:09:07,203 --> 00:09:09,167
Oh, man, I got busy,
and my rental period expired.
246
00:09:09,234 --> 00:09:11,970
I thought he just wiggled out.
Come, will you just please un-cuff me?
247
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:13,064
Please, you gotta, man.
248
00:09:13,131 --> 00:09:15,206
I've never treated you
like a prostitute.
249
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,495
- You just did.
- Touché.
250
00:09:17,636 --> 00:09:19,425
All right,
how about this? I will buy...
251
00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:21,468
double the amount of
supplements that Boyle did.
252
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,186
- $8,000?
- What? He gave you 4 grand?
253
00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:26,375
All right, fine, I'm in.
254
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,152
He didn't give it to me.
He invested it in his future.
255
00:09:29,253 --> 00:09:31,261
- And you can too.
- Yeah, I already agreed to it.
256
00:09:31,339 --> 00:09:33,504
- You don't have to keep selling me.
- Sorry, the script we're given
257
00:09:33,561 --> 00:09:35,066
anticipates a lot more resistance.
258
00:09:35,269 --> 00:09:36,828
Okay, so let's get the
paperwork started.
259
00:09:36,885 --> 00:09:38,680
First things first, you are not allowed
260
00:09:38,738 --> 00:09:40,364
to have any of this
reviewed by an attorney.
261
00:09:40,421 --> 00:09:41,469
Yeah, this seems bad.
262
00:09:41,575 --> 00:09:43,195
So, where on Gina's mobile
263
00:09:43,253 --> 00:09:45,527
should I place this moonless Jupiter?
264
00:09:45,605 --> 00:09:48,289
I pity the child who lies
beneath this solar system.
265
00:09:48,347 --> 00:09:50,566
Hey, Captain, something's
going on with this heist.
266
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,175
You tell us everything you know,
267
00:09:52,308 --> 00:09:53,774
and we'll tell you everything we know.
268
00:09:53,831 --> 00:09:55,654
- I'd rather not.
- Jokes on you,
269
00:09:55,712 --> 00:09:58,039
- we don't know anything.
- Well, good day then.
270
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,399
- Wait, why are you sweating?
- I'm not sweating.
271
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,883
No, I've had enough heart attacks
272
00:10:01,941 --> 00:10:04,456
to know what sweating looks
like, and that's sweat.
273
00:10:08,214 --> 00:10:10,722
Well, if I'm sweating,
as you claim,
274
00:10:10,824 --> 00:10:13,716
it's because I was watching
an exciting video on the net.
275
00:10:13,783 --> 00:10:15,503
Really? What?
276
00:10:15,652 --> 00:10:18,245
It was a video of an American gymnast.
277
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,019
His leotard ripped, exposing his butt.
278
00:10:21,198 --> 00:10:23,066
- It was highly erotic.
- You're lying.
279
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,253
I.T. just installed blocker software,
280
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,169
- thanks to moi.
- Uh, yes,
281
00:10:27,354 --> 00:10:29,489
but they didn't install
it on my computer,
282
00:10:29,547 --> 00:10:30,988
because I'm a captain.
283
00:10:31,129 --> 00:10:33,062
You don't look hot and
bothered at all to me.
284
00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:34,558
- Show us the erotica.
- Gentlemen,
285
00:10:34,616 --> 00:10:36,351
I assure you, there's nothing to see.
286
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:40,136
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to grab some fresh air.
287
00:10:47,937 --> 00:10:50,239
Good boy, Cheddar.
Bring me that cummerbund.
288
00:10:50,392 --> 00:10:51,777
Oh, yeah.
289
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:55,366
Wait a minute...
290
00:10:55,511 --> 00:10:57,634
this isn't the championship cummerbund.
291
00:10:57,701 --> 00:11:00,019
This is some common cummerbund.
292
00:11:00,571 --> 00:11:03,583
And you're not Cheddar.
You're just some common bitch.
293
00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:05,821
And this says you've received
your sales training.
294
00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:07,378
- Great.
- And this one is
295
00:11:07,436 --> 00:11:09,927
a sworn affidavit stating that
you have seen Debbie Stovelman,
296
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:12,011
the wife of NutriBoom founder,
David Stovelman,
297
00:11:12,078 --> 00:11:14,269
and that you found her to be
happy, healthy, and alive.
298
00:11:14,336 --> 00:11:15,776
Okay, fine. Great, all right, done.
299
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,221
Just get me out of these.
300
00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:22,503
Hey, what's going on here?
301
00:11:24,662 --> 00:11:27,597
Yeah! Didn't think I could get
out of my cuffs, did you, Boyle?
302
00:11:27,664 --> 00:11:29,666
But you forgot about
one important thing...
303
00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:32,436
- NutriBoom.
- NutriBoom! That's right.
304
00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:34,438
I'm in the President's Circle now.
305
00:11:34,505 --> 00:11:36,873
Sorry, Charles, this year's
heist was just too important.
306
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:39,510
- Watch him, Bill.
- Check in, Boyle, check in.
307
00:11:39,577 --> 00:11:41,845
Uh-oh, Jake, they check
in every ten minutes,
308
00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:46,017
and I have to respond
with a code only we know.
309
00:11:47,918 --> 00:11:49,734
- I am a Tramp.
- Copy that.
310
00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:51,334
Did I guess it? Did I guess the code?
311
00:11:51,401 --> 00:11:53,807
I couldn't hear what Rosa said
back, but was that right?
312
00:11:53,874 --> 00:11:55,509
- You got it.
- Yeah, I thought so, okay.
313
00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:58,662
Okay, security system, talk to me.
314
00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:00,830
What have I missed? What's going on?
315
00:12:00,897 --> 00:12:03,767
Ah-ha! Holt used Cheddar
to steal the belt.
316
00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:05,247
But that's not Cheddar.
317
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:07,331
Holt and Cheddar always
walk in a perfect lockstep.
318
00:12:07,398 --> 00:12:08,715
Which means someone took Cheddar,
319
00:12:08,772 --> 00:12:10,340
and that person has the belt.
320
00:12:10,407 --> 00:12:14,074
But who? Who took Cheddar?
321
00:12:14,721 --> 00:12:17,027
- Where are you coming from?
- Why do you care?
322
00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:18,749
- Thought you weren't heisting.
- I'm not.
323
00:12:18,816 --> 00:12:20,717
I'm just interested in
your comings and goings,
324
00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:22,551
because I care about you as a friend.
325
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,348
Okay, friend, I went to the bathroom.
326
00:12:24,415 --> 00:12:26,290
Well, you were gone a long time, friend.
327
00:12:26,357 --> 00:12:28,558
- You feeling okay, friend?
- No, it was number two,
328
00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:31,394
and it was very intense, friend.
329
00:12:31,461 --> 00:12:33,263
Bless you.
330
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,432
She sneezed. Dog allergies.
331
00:12:35,499 --> 00:12:37,701
Which means that Amy took...
332
00:12:37,768 --> 00:12:39,403
Cheddar!
333
00:12:40,565 --> 00:12:42,253
Where is my dog?
334
00:12:42,363 --> 00:12:44,064
Aren't you standing
right next to him?
335
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,409
This bitch? Please. Watch.
336
00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:48,378
Shake. Shake.
337
00:12:49,284 --> 00:12:50,413
Idiot.
338
00:12:50,566 --> 00:12:52,316
I know one of you took Cheddar,
339
00:12:52,383 --> 00:12:54,184
and you did it for the
sake of the heist,
340
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:57,121
but if anything happens
to him, I will end you.
341
00:12:57,188 --> 00:12:59,289
I couldn't bring myself
to neuter Cheddar,
342
00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,589
but I will neuter you all.
343
00:13:02,937 --> 00:13:04,679
Uh, bing-pot.
344
00:13:07,507 --> 00:13:10,769
♪♪
345
00:13:10,826 --> 00:13:12,628
♪♪
346
00:13:12,777 --> 00:13:15,276
Cheddar? Cheddar?
347
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:16,595
Shake.
348
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:18,715
Ah, good grip, pristine coat.
349
00:13:18,782 --> 00:13:20,045
That's my doggie!
350
00:13:20,112 --> 00:13:22,348
You betrayed me.
You'll explain yourself later.
351
00:13:22,415 --> 00:13:24,199
Return to my office.
352
00:13:25,155 --> 00:13:27,791
Guys, why is there smoke
coming from the break room?
353
00:13:27,858 --> 00:13:29,759
What's going on?
Is someone doing something?
354
00:13:29,826 --> 00:13:32,162
Who's doing something?
355
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,575
"Handmaid's Tale." This is Amy.
356
00:13:33,642 --> 00:13:35,749
She won't shut up about
how relevant that show is
357
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,301
- in today's political landscape.
- It's relevant as hell,
358
00:13:38,368 --> 00:13:40,371
but I'm not doing anything.
359
00:13:40,438 --> 00:13:42,372
Terry also loved the show.
This is him.
360
00:13:42,439 --> 00:13:44,492
No, no,
I love Elisabeth Moss.
361
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:46,084
Terry thought the show was too bleak.
362
00:13:46,151 --> 00:13:47,610
Oh, they're coming from everywhere.
363
00:13:47,677 --> 00:13:50,187
Hello. Blessed be the fruit, baby.
364
00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:52,100
- Hitchcock, you watch that show?
- Watch what?
365
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:53,998
- That's my pickup line.
- What are they doing?
366
00:13:54,055 --> 00:13:55,951
We haven't heard from Charles.
We need to check to make sure
367
00:13:56,008 --> 00:13:58,059
- everything's fine.
- Check what? The server?
368
00:13:58,182 --> 00:14:00,450
I stole the cummerbund from
under there an hour ago.
369
00:14:00,654 --> 00:14:04,128
- You knew about...
- About you playing? The server?
370
00:14:04,195 --> 00:14:05,840
I've known about your plans for weeks.
371
00:14:05,898 --> 00:14:08,159
Uh-oh, they're circling. Stop!
372
00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:10,934
Hello, Ofamy.
373
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,598
Hello.
374
00:14:13,671 --> 00:14:16,246
- I don't know what's going on.
- I do.
375
00:14:16,341 --> 00:14:18,028
Handmaids, out!
376
00:14:19,045 --> 00:14:20,413
They really listen to you.
377
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,274
You figured out I had
the belt in my safe,
378
00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:24,542
and you thought you could
distract me and steal the key.
379
00:14:24,608 --> 00:14:26,082
I did think those things, yes,
380
00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:28,686
and then... I did it.
381
00:14:28,753 --> 00:14:30,554
Please. Impossible.
382
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:33,824
The key has been in my
shoe the entire time.
383
00:14:33,899 --> 00:14:35,639
Okay, well, it's almost midnight.
384
00:14:35,698 --> 00:14:37,874
Why don't you try and use your key?
385
00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:42,062
It fits.
386
00:14:42,129 --> 00:14:44,131
I knew you were lying.
You are so predictable.
387
00:14:44,198 --> 00:14:45,517
Uh-oh, it's not turning.
388
00:14:45,575 --> 00:14:47,754
I guess I'm not quite as
predictable as you thought.
389
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,707
And I also bet none of you
can predict
390
00:14:49,774 --> 00:14:51,032
what I'm gonna do next.
391
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,346
Use your key to open the safe
and act like a dick about it?
392
00:14:53,403 --> 00:14:54,779
Yes, obviously that's
what I'm gonna do, Rosa.
393
00:14:54,836 --> 00:14:57,114
You just have to be so
spot-on all the time.
394
00:14:57,247 --> 00:14:58,581
If I may... mm...
395
00:14:58,676 --> 00:15:01,105
just get my skirt up, thanks.
396
00:15:02,119 --> 00:15:03,749
Oh, look at that, the key fits.
397
00:15:03,816 --> 00:15:07,545
And the lock is turning,
and the safe is... empty?
398
00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:08,823
- What?
- There's no cummerbund?
399
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,408
- Never was. It was always a belt.
- I don't understand. Who took it?
400
00:15:11,465 --> 00:15:13,474
We haven't heard from Charles in an
hour. Maybe he betrayed The Tramps.
401
00:15:13,531 --> 00:15:15,622
Oh, God, I just called us The
Tramps. What have I become?
402
00:15:15,679 --> 00:15:17,053
It's not Charles. I locked him up.
403
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,022
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, I put a
GPS tracker on the belt.
404
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:21,951
It's on the move,
and it's going fast!
405
00:15:22,018 --> 00:15:23,719
Let's take my bike.
They'll never catch us.
406
00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:26,007
- Later, dorks.
- Should we follow them? I...
407
00:15:27,483 --> 00:15:29,219
Captain, why are you giggling?
408
00:15:29,277 --> 00:15:33,182
I put a GPS tracker inside of Terry.
409
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,445
Sarge, Kevin purchased one too
many full-fat French yogurts.
410
00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:40,742
- You want it?
- Absolutely.
411
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:43,891
Enjoy, Jeffords. Enjoy.
412
00:15:43,949 --> 00:15:45,703
Devious, I know, but...
413
00:15:45,781 --> 00:15:47,481
I also put a tracker in Terry's yogurt.
414
00:15:47,539 --> 00:15:48,966
Same here. No reason.
415
00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:50,734
Just 'cause you're a great sergeant.
416
00:15:51,008 --> 00:15:52,203
Now suck it down.
417
00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:54,320
Eh, no problem, take it.
418
00:15:54,396 --> 00:15:55,833
Swallow the 'gurt.
419
00:15:55,891 --> 00:15:57,458
Do you guys think all that radiation
420
00:15:57,516 --> 00:15:59,500
- is bad for him?
- I'm sure he'll be fine.
421
00:15:59,609 --> 00:16:01,797
- He's lived a long life already.
- Yeah.
422
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,217
Good luck keeping up with me.
423
00:16:07,284 --> 00:16:08,852
I've done my morning calisthenics.
424
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,460
Oh, I'll keep up with you...
425
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,022
Rah!
426
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,700
In hell. Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
427
00:16:22,728 --> 00:16:24,129
- Hello, Jacob.
- Dah!
428
00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:25,658
What... Ames...
429
00:16:25,716 --> 00:16:27,933
What are you doing here? Why aren't
you out looking for the belt?
430
00:16:27,990 --> 00:16:29,998
You and I both know the belt
never left the precinct.
431
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:31,386
I don't know that. Nobody knows that.
432
00:16:31,443 --> 00:16:33,819
I kept thinking,
"How did anyone swap my key?"
433
00:16:33,877 --> 00:16:37,181
And then it hit me... they didn't.
They swapped the safe.
434
00:16:37,248 --> 00:16:39,827
One of the handmaids,
I'm assuming fake Charles,
435
00:16:39,885 --> 00:16:43,979
took my safe, and then Ofamy
deposited a lookalike.
436
00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:46,082
What did you give fake
Charles so he'd help you?
437
00:16:46,149 --> 00:16:47,843
Nothing.
In fact, he gave me something,
438
00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:49,593
the power of financial freedom.
439
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,128
I invested in a pyramid scheme.
440
00:16:51,195 --> 00:16:52,796
It's no time to go into it right now.
441
00:16:52,863 --> 00:16:54,913
Okay... so, while we
all tried to figure out
442
00:16:54,971 --> 00:16:56,307
who had the real key,
443
00:16:56,393 --> 00:16:58,604
fake Charles broke into the safe,
removed the tracke,
444
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,955
and led Terry and the whole
squad on a wild goose chase.
445
00:17:01,057 --> 00:17:04,260
My only question is,
which box is the belt in?
446
00:17:04,338 --> 00:17:06,221
Well, good luck figuring it out,
447
00:17:06,283 --> 00:17:08,469
because the clock is tick-tick-tocking.
448
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,890
- It's that one.
- No!
449
00:17:09,948 --> 00:17:12,239
The dust pattern on top
doesn't match its neighbors.
450
00:17:12,305 --> 00:17:15,221
You see, Jake, I'm always gonna
be one step ahead of you.
451
00:17:15,346 --> 00:17:17,186
You've lost the ability to surprise me.
452
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,557
Ya just plain boring.
453
00:17:18,615 --> 00:17:21,182
Again, weird take on a
very loving relationship.
454
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:22,952
And it's midnight,
455
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:26,396
so I guess I'm an amazing
human/genius.
456
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,999
Yeah. Although...
457
00:17:29,362 --> 00:17:31,562
you might wanna read the
inscription on that there belt.
458
00:17:31,698 --> 00:17:35,038
Why? Oh, no, what does it say?
459
00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:37,932
"Amy Santiago, will you marry me?"
460
00:17:40,155 --> 00:17:41,456
Surprise.
461
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,228
I'm so confused... I don't know
what's happening right now.
462
00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:51,250
"I'm so confused... I don't know
what's happening right now,"
463
00:17:51,307 --> 00:17:54,051
- title of your sex tape.
- "Oh, my God, I'm shaking."
464
00:17:54,118 --> 00:17:56,639
I'm definitely gonna cry,"
Title of your sex tape.
465
00:17:56,706 --> 00:17:59,620
Wait, is this really happening?
Is this part of the heist?
466
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,231
If this is part of the heist,
I will dump you so hard.
467
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,733
No, please, Ames, look,
it's really happening, okay?
468
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,010
It's not part of the heist.
I promise, this is real.
469
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,299
- It is?
- Yeah.
470
00:18:10,064 --> 00:18:12,221
Okay, here it goes.
471
00:18:12,415 --> 00:18:15,218
Ames, I love you.
472
00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:18,613
I love how smart you are.
I love how beautiful you are.
473
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,883
I love your face,
and I love your butt.
474
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:22,089
I should've written this down first.
475
00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:23,924
No, no, it's okay. Go on.
476
00:18:23,987 --> 00:18:26,432
I love how much you pretend
to like "Die Hard."
477
00:18:26,571 --> 00:18:28,377
- I like the second one.
- You don't have to.
478
00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:29,377
- Okay.
- Yeah.
479
00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:31,994
You're kind, and you're funny,
480
00:18:32,061 --> 00:18:33,627
and you're the best person I know,
481
00:18:33,685 --> 00:18:36,554
and the best detective.
482
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,699
Also, for reals, I love your butt.
483
00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:42,754
- I love yours too.
- Gross.
484
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,097
Amy Santiago...
485
00:18:46,446 --> 00:18:47,988
will you marry me?
486
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,979
Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
487
00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:01,351
I love you so much.
488
00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:03,377
Hey, jerkos, this little Tramp escaped,
489
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,089
so that ought to teach...
490
00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:07,800
- D-did you just...
- Mm-hmm.
491
00:19:07,921 --> 00:19:10,056
- And did you say...
- Mm-hmm.
492
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:16,488
- To Jake and Amy.
- To Jake and Amy!
493
00:19:16,596 --> 00:19:18,145
Great stuff, great stuff.
494
00:19:18,297 --> 00:19:19,614
So, since Peralta
altered the cummerbund,
495
00:19:19,671 --> 00:19:21,379
no one really
won the heist this year.
496
00:19:21,598 --> 00:19:22,973
Is that what everyone's thinking?
497
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:24,410
- Captain...
- Right, right, sorry.
498
00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:26,449
Not the time.
I'm so happy for you both.
499
00:19:26,573 --> 00:19:28,280
Technically, there was
no winner. Continue.
500
00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:29,168
Hey, Gina just texted me.
501
00:19:29,226 --> 00:19:31,769
She said, "Weird, I didn't even
realize they were dating."
502
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:34,064
JK, so happy for you bitches."
503
00:19:34,123 --> 00:19:36,418
- Oh.
- So, Jake, tell us everything.
504
00:19:36,559 --> 00:19:39,214
- Did you call Amy's dad first?
- I actually did.
505
00:19:39,339 --> 00:19:41,163
Mr. Santiago,
I'm calling to inform you
506
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,881
that I plan to ask your
daughter to marry me,
507
00:19:42,938 --> 00:19:45,974
but since it's 2017, I am not
asking you for your permission,
508
00:19:46,032 --> 00:19:47,362
as she is not your property,
509
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,472
nor would she be mine,
if she chooses to say yes.
510
00:19:49,638 --> 00:19:52,127
She's a strong independent woman,
and she don't need no man.
511
00:19:52,195 --> 00:19:53,918
That being said,
I truly hope she says yes.
512
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:55,629
But it's her decision,
so just back off!
513
00:19:55,687 --> 00:19:58,121
Aww, that was perfect.
What did he say?
514
00:19:58,179 --> 00:20:00,675
I have no idea, I left a voicemail.
I'm terrified of him.
515
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:02,323
Not to talk out of turn,
516
00:20:02,381 --> 00:20:05,754
but I think I get credit for
giving Jake the idea to propose.
517
00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:07,089
- How's that?
- Remember?
518
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:08,289
That day in the kitchen.
519
00:20:08,356 --> 00:20:09,464
So, what I'm saying is,
520
00:20:09,522 --> 00:20:10,857
vanilla yogurt is good,
521
00:20:11,032 --> 00:20:13,449
but pair it with a blueberry yogurt,
522
00:20:13,507 --> 00:20:15,474
and both of them taste even better.
523
00:20:15,617 --> 00:20:17,886
- Get it?
- Yes?
524
00:20:17,965 --> 00:20:19,047
I did not get it,
525
00:20:19,105 --> 00:20:21,972
but speaking of yogurt, you've
eaten six GPS devices this week.
526
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:23,090
You should see a doctor.
527
00:20:23,148 --> 00:20:24,222
- What?
- Hm?
528
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,183
Look, Sarge,
I think everyone knows that
529
00:20:26,241 --> 00:20:28,152
I planted the idea in Jake's head
530
00:20:28,241 --> 00:20:30,127
eight years ago.
531
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,972
Oh, hi, I'm starting today.
Detective Santiago.
532
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:35,666
Oh, Detective Peralta. Welcome aboard.
533
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:38,550
I'm hearing wedding bells.
534
00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:40,168
Hi, Detective Boyle.
535
00:20:40,287 --> 00:20:42,029
That actually really slowed things down.
536
00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:44,065
It took, like, four years for
me to forget that memory.
537
00:20:44,122 --> 00:20:47,004
- Yeah, I'm my own worst enemy.
- Look, no one gave me the idea.
538
00:20:47,074 --> 00:20:50,496
I decided to ask Amy to marry
me all on my own on April 28th.
539
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:54,074
There's a typo in
this crossword puzzle.
540
00:20:56,981 --> 00:20:59,066
I don't get it. Seems pretty normal.
541
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,288
I don't know what to tell you.
That's just when I knew.
542
00:21:01,355 --> 00:21:02,744
Romantic epiphanies are dope.
543
00:21:02,811 --> 00:21:04,199
Thank you, Rosa. They are dope.
544
00:21:04,257 --> 00:21:06,066
Yes, dope. Congratulations.
545
00:21:06,124 --> 00:21:07,800
I'm so happy you two
are getting married.
546
00:21:07,858 --> 00:21:10,035
- We're getting married.
- We're getting married!
547
00:21:10,263 --> 00:21:12,932
- And no one won the heist.
- Captain!
548
00:21:13,124 --> 00:21:14,746
Get over it, ya jag!
549
00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:16,173
Yeah, ya jag!42275
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