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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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For many of you,this Bologna mission
3
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,310
will be your last.
4
00:00:29,312 --> 00:00:31,913
There's no other wayof telling you that.
5
00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:35,356
Just basic statisticstell us that.
6
00:00:35,358 --> 00:00:37,559
So...
7
00:00:37,561 --> 00:00:39,120
if any of youshould find yourself
8
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,523
on the wrong sideof the statistics,
9
00:00:41,525 --> 00:00:43,325
and at the risk of statingthe obvious,
10
00:00:43,327 --> 00:00:46,368
I would like to point outthat your sacrifice
11
00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:49,053
will not have been in vain.
12
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:57,621
[upbeat music]
13
00:00:57,623 --> 00:01:04,630
♪ ♪
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00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:12,074
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contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
15
00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:19,805
SOLDIER: Lorenzo, Leonardo!
16
00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:21,567
[men speaking Italian]
17
00:01:21,569 --> 00:01:23,128
SOLDIER: Good, good.
18
00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:26,092
♪ ♪
19
00:01:26,094 --> 00:01:28,534
Yossarian!
Lovely to see you.
20
00:01:28,536 --> 00:01:29,856
Hi, Milo.
How's tricks?
21
00:01:29,858 --> 00:01:31,578
Good. Try that soup.
22
00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:32,699
Gianni.
GIANNI: Huh?
23
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,501
Give Yossarian
a spoonful of that zuppa.
24
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:36,505
GIANNI: [speaks Italian]
25
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,710
Wait till you try this.
26
00:01:47,597 --> 00:01:49,437
My God, Milo.
27
00:01:49,439 --> 00:01:51,199
Tell me that's not the best
tomato soup you've ever had.
28
00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:53,161
That's the best tomato soup
I ever had.
29
00:01:53,163 --> 00:01:55,484
Jesus, those Italians
can cook,
30
00:01:55,486 --> 00:01:57,085
even the little ones.
31
00:01:57,087 --> 00:01:58,927
I gotta go to Wales today.
32
00:01:58,929 --> 00:02:00,970
We got something really special
coming from there.
33
00:02:00,972 --> 00:02:02,974
You won't believe it.
34
00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:07,096
Hey, listen.
35
00:02:07,098 --> 00:02:08,538
I have to--
36
00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:09,939
I have to ask you something.
37
00:02:09,941 --> 00:02:12,823
Anything.
What is it?
38
00:02:12,825 --> 00:02:16,747
What would you say
if I asked you
39
00:02:16,749 --> 00:02:18,949
to put this...
40
00:02:18,951 --> 00:02:20,953
into that soup?
41
00:02:23,196 --> 00:02:25,797
Yossarian,
those are laundry flakes.
42
00:02:25,799 --> 00:02:27,799
I don't want
to fly Bologna, Milo.
43
00:02:27,801 --> 00:02:29,441
A whole lot of us
are gonna die.
44
00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:32,084
Yo-Yo, you tasted this.
It's a masterpiece.
45
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,246
It is, and these are
completely tasteless, man.
46
00:02:34,248 --> 00:02:36,528
I promise you.
How do you know that?
47
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:39,173
Trust me, I--
just trust me.
48
00:02:40,935 --> 00:02:42,735
This enterprise is built
on my good name,
49
00:02:42,737 --> 00:02:44,097
and it's my job
to uphold that name.
50
00:02:44,099 --> 00:02:46,419
Bologna's bad.
It's gonna be really bad.
51
00:02:46,421 --> 00:02:47,901
And if we're sick
for a couple days,
52
00:02:47,903 --> 00:02:50,624
the 10th Infantry will do
the job for us on the ground.
53
00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:53,026
I'm the mess officer, Yo-Yo.
It's a sacred office.
54
00:02:53,028 --> 00:02:54,828
My sacred duty
is to keep you fed
55
00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:58,713
and well-nourished,
not to make you grievously ill.
56
00:02:58,715 --> 00:03:01,796
Your sacred duty
is to keep us alive.
57
00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:04,961
I'd rather be ill than dead.
58
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,407
Hey, uh, fellas.
BOTH: Hey, Yo-Yo.
59
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,849
Dinner tonight
is very important.
60
00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:15,050
Don't eat the soup.
Huh?
61
00:03:15,052 --> 00:03:16,212
The hell are you talking about?
62
00:03:16,214 --> 00:03:18,414
Just don't eat the soup, okay?
63
00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:20,616
KID: Okay.
NATELY: No soup.
64
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:23,059
♪ ♪
65
00:03:23,061 --> 00:03:26,062
[indistinct chatter]
66
00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:33,112
♪ ♪
67
00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:41,601
[music stops,
chatter continues]
68
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,924
Here's to Clevinger, guys.
69
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,606
ALL: To Clevinger.
70
00:03:47,608 --> 00:03:48,887
Clevinger.
71
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:51,770
NATELY: Poor kid.
72
00:03:51,772 --> 00:03:54,653
Maybe he just kept flying,
flew off to Switzerland.
73
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:57,016
No, Clevinger wouldn't do that,
not without telling us.
74
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:58,858
Well, maybe we'll get
a postcard.
75
00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:01,661
[laughs]
76
00:04:01,663 --> 00:04:04,024
You want to come
to Switzerland with me, Yo-Yo?
77
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,105
Visit Clevinger?
78
00:04:05,107 --> 00:04:06,787
I don't want to joke
about Clevinger.
79
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,791
Okay.
80
00:04:10,953 --> 00:04:13,594
But want to come
to Switzerland with me?
81
00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:15,837
Believe me,
I thought about this.
82
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,518
AWOL isn't the answer,
83
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,960
not unless you want to spend
84
00:04:18,962 --> 00:04:20,802
the rest of your life
as a fugitive.
85
00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:22,604
But it's all academic anyway
86
00:04:22,606 --> 00:04:24,766
'cause you never have enough
gas to get anywhere useful.
87
00:04:24,768 --> 00:04:26,608
Well, but let's say
you did have enough gas.
88
00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:28,010
Where would you go?
89
00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:29,652
Well, it wouldn't be
Switzerland.
90
00:04:29,654 --> 00:04:31,534
The Swiss are legally obliged
to lock you up.
91
00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:33,616
They're practically Germans.
92
00:04:33,618 --> 00:04:36,980
If you had enough gas,
which you don't,
93
00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:39,823
your best bet would be to fly
straight over Switzerland,
94
00:04:39,825 --> 00:04:41,424
head to Sweden.
95
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:43,667
AARFY: That's what
your research told you?
96
00:04:43,669 --> 00:04:45,229
Sweden's better
than Switzerland.
97
00:04:45,231 --> 00:04:46,350
KID: Oh, why's that?
98
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,711
YOSSARIAN: Well, in Sweden,
99
00:04:47,713 --> 00:04:49,113
you can swim nude
with beautiful girls
100
00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,514
with voices like honey.
101
00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:52,957
And, uh, you can sire
whole happy tribes
102
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,198
of illegitimate Yossarians
103
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,880
with any number
of Swedish women
104
00:04:55,882 --> 00:04:57,722
who you don't have to marry,
105
00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:59,564
and you can all live
in the same house,
106
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,406
and we all get along,
107
00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:05,370
and the state supplies free
child birth, free education,
108
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,892
and launches
all the little Yossarians
109
00:05:06,894 --> 00:05:08,093
into a life without stigma.
110
00:05:08,095 --> 00:05:10,376
Everybody's happy,
and all my wives love me.
111
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,018
Do they really swim nude?
112
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,741
Totally nude, Kid Sampson.
113
00:05:14,743 --> 00:05:17,263
Totally nude.
114
00:05:17,265 --> 00:05:18,825
Sweet dreams tonight.
115
00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:20,907
Oh, boy.
116
00:05:20,909 --> 00:05:22,389
Yossarian?
Hi.
117
00:05:22,391 --> 00:05:23,670
Hi.
What do we know?
118
00:05:23,672 --> 00:05:25,312
About what?
119
00:05:25,314 --> 00:05:27,555
About the big book
you were gonna read?
120
00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:28,556
What big book?
121
00:05:28,558 --> 00:05:31,399
The big book
on how I get to go home.
122
00:05:31,401 --> 00:05:33,361
Oh, that one.
Yeah, that one.
123
00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:35,964
Not much, and--
and I can't talk right now.
124
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,927
Why not?
125
00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:41,370
What are you doing?
126
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:43,052
What are you doing
with your head?
127
00:05:43,054 --> 00:05:45,534
I can't talk
in front of Cathcart.
128
00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:48,578
He's not listening.
129
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:50,540
I'm making progress,
but I can't talk right now.
130
00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,422
What progress?
131
00:05:52,424 --> 00:05:55,025
[sighs, whispering]
I can't talk about it now.
132
00:05:55,027 --> 00:05:56,987
Christ.
133
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:59,351
What progress?
134
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,240
[jazz music]
135
00:06:09,242 --> 00:06:13,244
[men groaning]
136
00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:20,294
♪ ♪
137
00:06:24,058 --> 00:06:26,259
SOLDIER: Holy Christ!
138
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,061
[man farts]
139
00:06:28,063 --> 00:06:30,343
[chuckling]
140
00:06:30,345 --> 00:06:33,627
♪ ♪
141
00:06:33,629 --> 00:06:34,988
How you boys bearing up?
142
00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,630
Oh, not so great, Doc.
143
00:06:36,632 --> 00:06:37,751
Hey, uh, there's no way in hell
144
00:06:37,753 --> 00:06:39,153
that Bologna's happening
tomorrow, right?
145
00:06:39,155 --> 00:06:42,156
Oh, Bologna's off.
146
00:06:42,158 --> 00:06:48,243
♪ ♪
147
00:06:48,245 --> 00:06:52,367
"Don't eat the soup"!
[laughing]
148
00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:53,608
MCWATT: You know
they'll just be sending us
149
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:55,090
straight back up there
tomorrow.
150
00:06:55,092 --> 00:06:57,252
You'll thank me
one day, McWatt.
151
00:06:57,254 --> 00:06:59,415
How long you think
the squirts last?
152
00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:01,016
Huh?
Couple days at most?
153
00:07:01,018 --> 00:07:04,300
We'll be right back up there
day after tomorrow, latest.
154
00:07:04,302 --> 00:07:05,581
No, we won't.
155
00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,664
10th Infantry is headed
to Bologna right now.
156
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,426
They'll clean out
those artillery guns for us.
157
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:12,949
Oh, man, you really
don't know how this works.
158
00:07:12,951 --> 00:07:15,112
I saw the charts.
10th is less than two days out.
159
00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:17,835
You really don't know
how this works.
160
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,356
YOSSARIAN: I don't know
how what works?
161
00:07:19,358 --> 00:07:20,558
MCWATT: Everything, Yossarian.
162
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,079
That's the point.
What point?
163
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:24,084
What's your point?
Exactly.
164
00:07:26,566 --> 00:07:28,446
It's all a numbers game,
165
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,529
and when your number's up,
your number's up.
166
00:07:30,531 --> 00:07:32,893
Screw your numbers, McWatt.
167
00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:39,901
MILO: Hey, Yossarian! Hey!
168
00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,423
Jump in.
169
00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:44,864
What the hell is this?
170
00:07:44,866 --> 00:07:46,426
I picked it up in Wales.
171
00:07:46,428 --> 00:07:47,827
I found a warehouse full.
172
00:07:47,829 --> 00:07:50,631
65 on land, 35 on water.
173
00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,794
When the war is done,
I ship 'em to Minnesota.
174
00:07:53,796 --> 00:07:56,397
Hey, I got a bone
to pick with you.
175
00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:58,839
They're still gonna send you
to Bologna.
176
00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:00,481
So what was the point
of yesterday?
177
00:08:00,483 --> 00:08:02,483
As soon as the men
can hold their guts in,
178
00:08:02,485 --> 00:08:04,045
you're gonna go back
to Bologna.
179
00:08:04,047 --> 00:08:06,047
Yeah, but this time,
we got ground support.
180
00:08:06,049 --> 00:08:07,409
I got bad news for you,
my friend.
181
00:08:07,411 --> 00:08:08,930
Your ground support
has been rerouted
182
00:08:08,932 --> 00:08:10,652
from the Bologna road
to the Argenti road,
183
00:08:10,654 --> 00:08:14,176
due to a mass illness
on the Pianosa Air Base,
184
00:08:14,178 --> 00:08:16,218
but it's gonna be
all right, pal.
185
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,223
[brakes squealing]
186
00:08:23,428 --> 00:08:26,472
[indistinct chatter]
187
00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:29,513
I need to see the Major.
188
00:08:29,515 --> 00:08:30,714
You can't see him
right now, sir.
189
00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:31,715
Well, when can I see him?
190
00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:32,716
When he goes out to lunch.
191
00:08:32,718 --> 00:08:33,717
Then you can go right in.
192
00:08:33,719 --> 00:08:34,879
I'm sorry, say that again?
193
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,120
TOWSER: Major Major never sees
194
00:08:36,122 --> 00:08:38,803
anyone in his office
while he's in his office.
195
00:08:38,805 --> 00:08:40,445
So when are you saying
I can see him?
196
00:08:40,447 --> 00:08:43,008
Pretty much never, sir.
197
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,289
Hey, Major!
198
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,331
I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave, sir!
199
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,776
Major! Come--
Sir!
200
00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,552
Yossarian.
YOSSARIAN: Hi.
201
00:09:05,554 --> 00:09:07,554
Your man has lost his mind.
202
00:09:07,556 --> 00:09:09,516
Oh, him?
He's--he's just--
203
00:09:09,518 --> 00:09:11,961
YOSSARIAN: Oh, God. Jesus.
204
00:09:13,723 --> 00:09:16,444
[exhales sharply]
205
00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:18,767
So what's this progress
you say you've made?
206
00:09:18,769 --> 00:09:21,610
What progress?
The progress.
207
00:09:21,612 --> 00:09:23,732
You were going through
the operations manual,
208
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,854
and you told me the other night
that you made progress.
209
00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,937
I haven't made any progress.
210
00:09:27,939 --> 00:09:30,341
Did you read it?
It's very difficult to read.
211
00:09:33,384 --> 00:09:35,745
We can't fly Bologna.
212
00:09:35,747 --> 00:09:38,708
36 planes from other squadrons
have already gone down
213
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,230
in the last ten days.
214
00:09:40,232 --> 00:09:42,272
It's a B-25 boneyard
down there.
215
00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:44,394
Well, you wouldn't be normal
if you weren't afraid.
216
00:09:44,396 --> 00:09:46,957
Even the bravest men
experience fear.
217
00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:50,481
Let me ask you something.
Why did you join up?
218
00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:52,403
Because it was
the right thing--to do good.
219
00:09:52,405 --> 00:09:55,647
Exactly, and you can do good
from right here.
220
00:09:55,649 --> 00:09:57,969
You can save lives
from right here.
221
00:09:57,971 --> 00:09:59,050
I-I don't understand
222
00:09:59,052 --> 00:10:00,652
exactly what it is
that you think I can do.
223
00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:03,655
You're a Major.
You're Major Major Major Major.
224
00:10:03,657 --> 00:10:06,619
You can just sign things.
Sign what?
225
00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:08,060
The form.
What form?
226
00:10:08,062 --> 00:10:09,582
The form to stand us down.
227
00:10:09,584 --> 00:10:10,943
To stand you down, why?
228
00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:12,505
To stand us down, you know,
229
00:10:12,507 --> 00:10:16,229
for unreasonable risk
to life and limb.
230
00:10:16,231 --> 00:10:17,991
I don't have the power
to stand down a squadron
231
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,272
or even a crew.
232
00:10:19,274 --> 00:10:21,074
Then just me.
Stand me down.
233
00:10:21,076 --> 00:10:23,477
Oh, s-suppose everybody
felt that way.
234
00:10:23,479 --> 00:10:26,280
Then I'd certainly be a damn
fool to feel any other way,
235
00:10:26,282 --> 00:10:28,042
wouldn't I?
236
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,805
So you want me
to stand you down
237
00:10:30,807 --> 00:10:32,607
while your friends fly Bologna?
238
00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:33,808
Why not?
239
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,810
It wouldn't be any more
or less arbitrary
240
00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:39,575
than any other decision
that gets made on my behalf.
241
00:10:39,577 --> 00:10:41,457
I'm not afraid of the Germans.
242
00:10:41,459 --> 00:10:43,699
I am afraid
of Cathcart deciding
243
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:45,861
that I need to fly
more missions.
244
00:10:45,863 --> 00:10:47,824
I'm afraid of the person
who decides
245
00:10:47,826 --> 00:10:50,066
where the bomb line
goes on the map.
246
00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:51,948
Who is that person?
247
00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:54,110
And that's what it's
come down to for us.
248
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,713
We're afraid of a line
on a map.
249
00:10:56,715 --> 00:10:59,276
Do you know
what that feels like?
250
00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:02,680
To be afraid
of a piece of string?
251
00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:05,523
[instrumental music]
252
00:11:05,525 --> 00:11:12,572
♪ ♪
253
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,842
ORDERLY: Sorryto disturb you, sir.
254
00:12:17,844 --> 00:12:19,003
We've captured Bologna, sir.
255
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,686
What--
Who's captured Bologna?
256
00:12:21,688 --> 00:12:23,087
I don't know, sir.
257
00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:24,569
I was in
the briefing room, sir.
258
00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:28,055
The bomb line is now
60 miles north of Bologna.
259
00:12:31,699 --> 00:12:33,979
Thank you, Private.
260
00:12:33,981 --> 00:12:37,022
[upbeat jazz music]
261
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:43,870
♪ ♪
262
00:12:43,872 --> 00:12:45,031
Sir.
[shudders]
263
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,833
Sir, it's me, sir--Korn.
264
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:49,356
What is it, Korn?
I'm sorry to wake you.
265
00:12:49,358 --> 00:12:50,878
But I thought
you'd like to know.
266
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,561
We captured Bologna.
[breathing heavily]
267
00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:55,483
When?
Overnight, sir.
268
00:12:55,485 --> 00:13:00,048
The bomb line is now
60 miles north of the city.
269
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,610
That's goddamn terrific.
I thought so too.
270
00:13:02,612 --> 00:13:05,333
Yeah, so should I go ahead
and cancel the mission?
271
00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:06,855
Of course you should
cancel the mission.
272
00:13:06,857 --> 00:13:08,216
We're not gonna bomb
our own men, are we?
273
00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:09,258
Of course--
of course not, sir.
274
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:10,379
Of course not.
275
00:13:10,381 --> 00:13:12,741
Yo-Yo!
276
00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:14,103
Yo-Yo, wake up now!
277
00:13:14,105 --> 00:13:16,185
Hey, you want to hear
some news?
278
00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:19,589
The 10th Infantry took Bologna.
What?
279
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,751
They fucking took it overnight.
280
00:13:21,753 --> 00:13:25,275
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
281
00:13:25,277 --> 00:13:28,118
NATELY: I get to see my girl!
I'm going to Rome!
282
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,560
♪ ♪
283
00:13:29,562 --> 00:13:32,605
[indistinct chatter]
284
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:38,850
MILO: [speaking Italian]
285
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,932
Which one of you
is Milo Minderbinder?
286
00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,455
Oh, hello, Major.
That'd be me.
287
00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:45,657
Oh, Mr. Lamb Chops.
288
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,419
That's right, sir.
289
00:13:47,421 --> 00:13:51,063
Well, now, why is it, son,
that they tell me that all
290
00:13:51,065 --> 00:13:53,906
non-combat planes have to be
requisitioned through you?
291
00:13:53,908 --> 00:13:55,428
Chain of command, sir.
292
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,350
Emanuele, rapido, rapido.
293
00:13:57,352 --> 00:14:00,113
I need a plane to Bologna.
Bologna?
294
00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:02,836
We have taken Bologna.
I need to go to Bologna.
295
00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,478
MILO: We've taken Bologna?
296
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,922
Yes, son.
We have taken Bologna.
297
00:14:07,924 --> 00:14:11,125
♪ Shoo, shoo, shoo, baby ♪
298
00:14:11,127 --> 00:14:13,367
♪ Shoo, shoo, shoo, baby ♪
299
00:14:13,369 --> 00:14:15,049
♪ ♪
300
00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:18,493
♪ Bye, bye, bye, baby,do-dah, do-day ♪
301
00:14:18,495 --> 00:14:21,777
♪ Your papa's offto the seven seas ♪
302
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:24,019
♪ Don't cry, baby ♪
303
00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:25,421
♪ ♪
304
00:14:25,423 --> 00:14:28,624
♪ Don't sigh, baby ♪
305
00:14:28,626 --> 00:14:32,428
♪ Bye, bye, bye, baby,do-dah, do-day ♪
306
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:35,794
♪ When I come back,we'll live a life of ease ♪
307
00:14:43,642 --> 00:14:45,042
YOSSARIAN: I don't understand.
308
00:14:45,044 --> 00:14:46,443
Why don't you just pay
for all three
309
00:14:46,445 --> 00:14:48,005
and send the other two away?
310
00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:49,687
Because then Clara
will be angry with me
311
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,249
for making her work
312
00:14:51,251 --> 00:14:53,051
and paying the others
to have the night off.
313
00:14:53,053 --> 00:14:55,053
She says
that if I really liked her,
314
00:14:55,055 --> 00:14:56,494
then I'd give her
the night off
315
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,816
and go to bed
with one of the others.
316
00:14:57,818 --> 00:14:59,458
And they're $30 each?
317
00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:02,421
Yeah, it's, uh, $30.
318
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,743
$30 is a lot of money
for pieces like these.
319
00:15:04,745 --> 00:15:06,545
Besides, I've never paid
for it in my life.
320
00:15:06,547 --> 00:15:07,546
No, you don't understand--
321
00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:08,948
you don't have to pay
for a thing.
322
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,710
I'll pay for all three--
you guys just need to take
323
00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,592
the other two so she doesn't
get her nose out of joint.
324
00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:14,394
I just don't understand
why you--why you have to pay
325
00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:15,435
for her friends
in the first place.
326
00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:16,757
To make her happy!
327
00:15:16,759 --> 00:15:18,198
You know,
I remember this one time
328
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,040
we tricked these two
dumb high-school girls
329
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:21,362
into the fraternity.
330
00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:22,763
Made them put out
for all the fellas
331
00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:24,485
by threatening
to call their folks
332
00:15:24,487 --> 00:15:26,207
and tell them they were
putting out for the fellas.
333
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:28,890
And what is it, "putting out"?
334
00:15:28,892 --> 00:15:31,092
AARFY: Screw, fuck, you know.
335
00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:34,055
Ah, so you--
you tricked the girls,
336
00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:35,777
and you fuck them?
337
00:15:35,779 --> 00:15:38,220
Yeah, sure.
It was a bit of fun.
338
00:15:38,222 --> 00:15:41,223
And the girls?
They were having fun?
339
00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:42,745
AARFY: Yes, of course.
340
00:15:42,747 --> 00:15:45,668
So you made them have fun, yes?
341
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:47,070
Yes?
342
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:49,072
You get a load of this shit?
343
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,995
I'm getting lectured by a guy
who sells women for a living.
344
00:15:51,997 --> 00:15:55,519
I'm aware of my profession.
345
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,681
[soft music]
346
00:15:57,683 --> 00:15:59,723
CLARA: Nate-er-ly?
347
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,205
Is problem?
348
00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:04,489
I-I'm coming.
I'm coming.
349
00:16:04,491 --> 00:16:07,652
Yo-Yo, come on,
will you take the other two?
350
00:16:07,654 --> 00:16:09,494
Help me out here, man.
351
00:16:09,496 --> 00:16:16,504
♪ ♪
352
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,941
[music stops]
353
00:16:52,943 --> 00:16:55,987
[bell tolling]
354
00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:06,516
My good man.
355
00:17:06,518 --> 00:17:08,238
Would you be kind enough
to provide me
356
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,000
with the name of the legal
owner of this building?
357
00:17:10,002 --> 00:17:11,922
I wish to requisition it
for the fighting men
358
00:17:11,924 --> 00:17:14,204
of the United States
of America.
359
00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:16,209
Scusi?
360
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,814
[speaking broken Italian]
361
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:24,898
The...
362
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,442
SOLDIER: [speaking German]
363
00:18:00,737 --> 00:18:02,377
[laughter, indistinct chatter]
364
00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:05,260
YOSSARIAN: Yeah, I am.
I try to be.
365
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:07,264
[laughter]
366
00:18:08,946 --> 00:18:10,948
Hey.
367
00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:23,880
CLARA: Sister.
368
00:18:23,882 --> 00:18:25,602
She's your sister?
369
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,606
Sister, sister.
370
00:18:37,097 --> 00:18:38,336
Insects.
371
00:18:38,338 --> 00:18:40,661
Ah, insetti. Insects.
372
00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:48,227
Gelato--
I know this word.
373
00:18:48,229 --> 00:18:51,230
Gelato.
You want one?
374
00:18:51,232 --> 00:18:52,952
Okay, she's up for it.
375
00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:55,076
What's that called?
376
00:18:57,879 --> 00:18:59,719
Ice cream.
377
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,124
Rolls off the tongue better
than "ice cream," doesn't it?
378
00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:07,448
Finestra,
that's window, yeah?
379
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,210
Finestra.
380
00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,214
With an R, right?
381
00:19:11,975 --> 00:19:14,095
Can you say "window"?
Try that?
382
00:19:14,097 --> 00:19:15,697
Window.
Window, yeah.
383
00:19:15,699 --> 00:19:17,701
Exactly.
[car doors close]
384
00:19:19,223 --> 00:19:20,702
Yeah.
Yeah.
385
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:22,706
Wha--
386
00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:33,636
Fuck.
387
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:36,600
She'll be back, buddy.
388
00:19:36,602 --> 00:19:40,003
God damn it.
389
00:19:40,005 --> 00:19:43,968
[engine roaring]
390
00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:45,850
Major de Coverley
has gone missing,
391
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,173
and one of you fuckers
is going to prison for it.
392
00:19:49,175 --> 00:19:51,696
I know you're here,
393
00:19:51,698 --> 00:19:53,698
and I am going to hunt you down
like a jackal,
394
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,263
and I'm gonna mount you
on my fucking wall!
395
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,427
So, if any of you
knows anything
396
00:20:01,429 --> 00:20:03,629
about my bomb line being moved,
397
00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:06,472
now would be the time
to speak up!
398
00:20:06,474 --> 00:20:08,114
Because I am gonna
get to the bottom of this.
399
00:20:08,116 --> 00:20:11,197
You can mark my fucking words,
gentlemen.
400
00:20:11,199 --> 00:20:14,241
This is a black eye
on the squadron.
401
00:20:14,243 --> 00:20:17,484
A good man has gone missing,
presumed captured.
402
00:20:17,486 --> 00:20:19,849
Maybe missing, presumed dead!
403
00:20:22,852 --> 00:20:25,094
The person who did it
is in this room...
404
00:20:27,057 --> 00:20:29,940
Right now--
I can fucking feel it.
405
00:20:31,822 --> 00:20:35,063
Oh, and by the way,
406
00:20:35,065 --> 00:20:37,866
we're going back to Bologna.
407
00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:40,789
Mark my fucking words.
408
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:44,313
And you're going back there,
and you are gonna bomb the fuck
409
00:20:44,315 --> 00:20:45,675
out of those fuel dumps,
410
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,156
and you are going to bomb
the fuck
411
00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,478
out of those antiaircraft guns,
412
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,921
and I hope it's fucking bad.
413
00:20:50,923 --> 00:20:53,363
And you'd better hope
that you don't bomb
414
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:56,967
wherever it is they're holding
Major de Coverley.
415
00:20:56,969 --> 00:20:59,129
And I've got some good news.
416
00:20:59,131 --> 00:21:02,493
I'm raising the mission count
from 40 to 45.
417
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,736
Oh, I knew you'd like that.
418
00:21:04,738 --> 00:21:07,659
And as punishment for this act
of fucking treason,
419
00:21:07,661 --> 00:21:11,022
I'm also raising it
from 45 to 50.
420
00:21:11,024 --> 00:21:12,464
[men grumbling softly]
421
00:21:12,466 --> 00:21:16,068
CATHCART: Oh, do I sense
discontent, hmm?
422
00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:18,390
Well, look, fellas...
423
00:21:18,392 --> 00:21:20,673
I'm not an unreasonable man.
424
00:21:20,675 --> 00:21:23,718
What's say we make a deal, hmm?
425
00:21:26,641 --> 00:21:29,282
If the repugnant swamp scum
426
00:21:29,284 --> 00:21:31,965
that moved my bomb line
were to step forward
427
00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:34,007
and admit his guilt,
428
00:21:34,009 --> 00:21:36,971
I would be willing to lower
the mission count
429
00:21:36,973 --> 00:21:40,294
from 50 to 45.
430
00:21:40,296 --> 00:21:41,816
Hmm?
431
00:21:41,818 --> 00:21:43,940
Effective immediately.
432
00:21:57,115 --> 00:21:59,117
You fucking coward.
433
00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:03,119
Dis-fucking-missed!
434
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:06,164
[indistinct soft chatter]
435
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,413
AARFY: All right,that's 45 seconds to run.
436
00:22:15,415 --> 00:22:16,894
45 seconds.
437
00:22:16,896 --> 00:22:18,576
PILOT: It's getting hotup here, fellas.
438
00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:20,218
NATELY: Down there!Just beyond the bridge!
439
00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:22,020
There's a whole convoyon that road!
440
00:22:22,022 --> 00:22:24,022
AARFY: Yeah,we're coming up on it now.
441
00:22:24,024 --> 00:22:25,824
You all right up there?
442
00:22:25,826 --> 00:22:28,467
PILOT: We got you, we got you.You're okay.
443
00:22:28,469 --> 00:22:31,110
PILOT 2: We're gettinghammered! Let's go!
444
00:22:31,112 --> 00:22:33,312
[dramatic music]
445
00:22:33,314 --> 00:22:36,596
AARFY: All right, McWatt.Bring her to 043.
446
00:22:36,598 --> 00:22:39,198
Holding steady at 4,500.
447
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,681
043 at 4,500.
448
00:22:41,683 --> 00:22:43,483
NATELY: Is that itdown there?
449
00:22:43,485 --> 00:22:45,045
MCWATT: Is that whatdown there?
450
00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:47,287
Fucking Bologna!
AARFY: No, no, no.
451
00:22:47,289 --> 00:22:49,169
It's still 13 milesto Bologna.
452
00:22:49,171 --> 00:22:50,731
NATELY: Holy shit.
453
00:22:50,733 --> 00:22:53,534
CATHCART: They make it
with a pesto sauce.
454
00:22:53,536 --> 00:22:55,536
And the parmesan, oh...
455
00:22:55,538 --> 00:22:57,739
It is something,
let me tell you, Korn.
456
00:22:57,741 --> 00:22:59,020
It is something.
457
00:22:59,022 --> 00:23:01,024
Yes, sir.
458
00:23:02,746 --> 00:23:04,066
[siren wailing]
459
00:23:04,068 --> 00:23:07,029
What in God's green earth
is that?
460
00:23:07,031 --> 00:23:09,351
What is that?
461
00:23:09,353 --> 00:23:12,757
[wailing continues,
plane engines roaring]
462
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,602
MILO: It's only me.
It's only me.
463
00:23:19,284 --> 00:23:20,604
CAPTAIN: Hands in the air!
464
00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:22,726
No, it's okay!
These are ours now!
465
00:23:22,728 --> 00:23:25,689
I said, "Hands in the air."
MILO: Yes, I understand that.
466
00:23:25,691 --> 00:23:27,411
There's been
a crossed wire somewhere.
467
00:23:27,413 --> 00:23:28,532
CAPTAIN: Who are you?
468
00:23:28,534 --> 00:23:30,094
I'm Milo! I'm--
469
00:23:30,096 --> 00:23:32,376
I'm the mess officer.
You know me, Captain.
470
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:33,458
I feed you.
471
00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:34,779
State your business here.
472
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:37,142
Business!
My business is business.
473
00:23:37,144 --> 00:23:40,145
These are no longer military,
these are trade.
474
00:23:40,147 --> 00:23:41,586
CAPTAIN: These are
enemy planes.
475
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:43,108
MILO: Well,
technically speaking,
476
00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:46,151
that's no longer the case
as of today.
477
00:23:46,153 --> 00:23:49,835
This explains, in great detail,
478
00:23:49,837 --> 00:23:51,637
that these
are syndicate planes now.
479
00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:54,040
CAPTAIN: What syndicate?
MILO: Our syndicate.
480
00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:56,483
We're all part
of the syndicate, even you.
481
00:23:56,485 --> 00:23:57,844
And these are all in order.
482
00:23:57,846 --> 00:23:59,526
I said put your hands
in the air!
483
00:23:59,528 --> 00:24:01,728
Of course.
Anyway, the Germans are part
484
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:04,051
of the syndicate, too, and so
what's happening today is,
485
00:24:04,053 --> 00:24:07,014
the Germans are contributing
three cargo planes
486
00:24:07,016 --> 00:24:08,135
to the syndicate.
487
00:24:08,137 --> 00:24:09,417
CAPTAIN: Who are these men?
488
00:24:09,419 --> 00:24:10,778
Are they Germans?
489
00:24:10,780 --> 00:24:12,941
Well, yes and no.
They're delegates.
490
00:24:12,943 --> 00:24:14,422
They're here today
representing the interests
491
00:24:14,424 --> 00:24:15,944
of M&M Enterprises.
492
00:24:15,946 --> 00:24:17,225
No, I know
what you're gonna say.
493
00:24:17,227 --> 00:24:18,787
Sure, we're at war
with the Germans,
494
00:24:18,789 --> 00:24:21,190
but the Germans are also
members in good standing
495
00:24:21,192 --> 00:24:23,152
of the syndicate,
and they pay their bills
496
00:24:23,154 --> 00:24:26,035
a lot more promptly than a lot
of allies of ours I could name.
497
00:24:26,037 --> 00:24:28,998
So it's my job to protect
their rights as shareholders,
498
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,081
just as I will protect yours
as members of the syndicate.
499
00:24:32,083 --> 00:24:35,365
CATHCART: Weapons down!
Put your goddamn weapons down!
500
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,247
[engine revs, brakes squeal]
501
00:24:37,249 --> 00:24:39,490
Sir, these are German flyers,
and those are German planes.
502
00:24:39,492 --> 00:24:40,811
And you did
the right thing, Captain.
503
00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,333
Milo, have you got
those papers?
504
00:24:42,335 --> 00:24:43,374
Yes, sir.
Can I lower my arms, sir?
505
00:24:43,376 --> 00:24:44,935
CATHCART: Lower your arms.
506
00:24:44,937 --> 00:24:46,457
Have you got the originals
and carbon copies?
507
00:24:46,459 --> 00:24:47,658
MILO: Yes, sir,
they're all right here.
508
00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:50,221
CATHCART: Korn!
Milo, I apologize
509
00:24:50,223 --> 00:24:52,023
for not passing
the relevant information
510
00:24:52,025 --> 00:24:54,866
down the chain of command--
hence, all this kerfuffle.
511
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,349
As of now, these planes
512
00:24:57,351 --> 00:24:59,994
are part of
the M&M Enterprise fleet.
513
00:25:02,076 --> 00:25:03,996
Beautiful. Follow me, sir.
514
00:25:03,998 --> 00:25:07,160
These planes are a beauty.
They fly like a dream.
515
00:25:07,162 --> 00:25:08,521
Watch your head.
516
00:25:08,523 --> 00:25:10,083
Hey, that's beautiful work,
Luca.
517
00:25:10,085 --> 00:25:12,485
Perfetto, grazie!
518
00:25:12,487 --> 00:25:14,448
Very nice, Milo.
519
00:25:14,450 --> 00:25:16,290
Very elegant.
Thank you, sir.
520
00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:18,252
I think so, too, sir.
521
00:25:18,254 --> 00:25:20,574
[dramatic music]
522
00:25:20,576 --> 00:25:23,778
NATELY: 043 at 4,500!043 at 4,500!
523
00:25:23,780 --> 00:25:26,701
Are you reading me, Yossarian?PILOT: Hey, can you hear me?
524
00:25:26,703 --> 00:25:28,383
PILOT 2: This ain't the timeto fuck around, man.
525
00:25:28,385 --> 00:25:30,065
PILOT 3: Yeah, they're reallylighting it up.
526
00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,107
NATELY: Come on,you getting close?
527
00:25:32,109 --> 00:25:33,548
Yo-Yo, what's going on?
528
00:25:33,550 --> 00:25:35,671
There's something wrong
with the plane!
529
00:25:35,673 --> 00:25:37,833
There's something wrong
with the--
530
00:25:37,835 --> 00:25:39,755
[transmission breaking up]
531
00:25:39,757 --> 00:25:41,557
Something's wrong
with the plane?
532
00:25:41,559 --> 00:25:43,559
What's the matter?
533
00:25:43,561 --> 00:25:45,121
There's just something
the matter with--
534
00:25:45,123 --> 00:25:46,803
[distorted speech]
KID: I don't know!
535
00:25:46,805 --> 00:25:48,605
Who is that screaming?
536
00:25:48,607 --> 00:25:50,567
This is Yossarian in the nose!
537
00:25:50,569 --> 00:25:51,808
Yossarian in the nose!
538
00:25:51,810 --> 00:25:53,610
Didn't you say there was
something the matter--
539
00:25:53,612 --> 00:25:55,492
KID: I thought you saidsomething was the matter.
540
00:25:55,494 --> 00:25:57,374
Everything seems fine up here.
Everything's all right.
541
00:25:57,376 --> 00:25:59,377
[dramatic music]
542
00:25:59,379 --> 00:26:00,898
I can't hear you.
543
00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:04,182
KID: I said everythingseems all right.
544
00:26:04,184 --> 00:26:07,425
MCWATT: Holding steady,4,500 feet.
545
00:26:07,427 --> 00:26:10,268
AARFY: Drop those fuckers,Yo-Yo! Let's go!
546
00:26:10,270 --> 00:26:14,553
PILOT: Come on, boys, let's--[transmission breaking up]
547
00:26:14,555 --> 00:26:16,916
I said I still can't hear you!
548
00:26:16,918 --> 00:26:18,597
Is anybody there?
549
00:26:18,599 --> 00:26:21,801
MCWATT: How close are we?
550
00:26:21,803 --> 00:26:24,043
Are we dropping or what?
551
00:26:24,045 --> 00:26:27,447
Hey, I can't hear you.
What?
552
00:26:27,449 --> 00:26:28,648
I can't hear you.
553
00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:30,130
I don't know
what you're saying.
554
00:26:30,132 --> 00:26:31,772
I can't hear you!
I said I can't hear you!
555
00:26:31,774 --> 00:26:33,814
I'm shouting as loud as I can!
556
00:26:33,816 --> 00:26:35,816
Look, there's something wrong
with the intercom!
557
00:26:35,818 --> 00:26:38,219
We have to turn back.
For an intercom?
558
00:26:38,221 --> 00:26:40,902
We're not turning back
for a broken intercom.
559
00:26:40,904 --> 00:26:43,304
[explosions]
560
00:26:43,306 --> 00:26:45,907
Turn back, or I'll break
your fucking head!
561
00:26:45,909 --> 00:26:47,589
You're kidding, right?
562
00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,351
I can't do my job
563
00:26:49,353 --> 00:26:51,313
if I can't fucking hear you
up there!
564
00:26:51,315 --> 00:26:52,835
Yes, you can!
No, I can't!
565
00:26:52,837 --> 00:26:54,196
Yes, you can!
No, I can't!
566
00:26:54,198 --> 00:26:55,878
I think we need
to pull out, McWatt.
567
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,363
No fucking way!
568
00:27:05,330 --> 00:27:08,133
Fine. Fuck you.
569
00:27:09,535 --> 00:27:11,537
Jesus.
570
00:27:12,939 --> 00:27:15,099
All planes,
this is "Yankee Doodle."
571
00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:16,140
We are pulling out.
572
00:27:16,142 --> 00:27:19,103
We have
a technical difficulty here!
573
00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:23,190
[explosions]
574
00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:48,217
Good. Good.
575
00:27:52,262 --> 00:27:55,265
[tires crunch, screech]
576
00:27:58,268 --> 00:28:00,228
Hey, you know
what your problem is?
577
00:28:00,230 --> 00:28:02,150
You still think you're
gonna get out of here.
578
00:28:02,152 --> 00:28:04,553
And you fly like you don't.
Exactly.
579
00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:06,115
I fly however the fuck I want.
580
00:28:06,117 --> 00:28:07,676
Sure, fly however
the fuck you want.
581
00:28:07,678 --> 00:28:09,558
Just not when I'm
in the same plane.
582
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,520
Oh, it doesn't make a goddamn
bit of difference how I fly.
583
00:28:11,522 --> 00:28:12,682
You're just a coward.
584
00:28:12,684 --> 00:28:14,484
I'm the bravest
fucking man you know.
585
00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:16,366
Okay, do what you got to do.
586
00:28:16,368 --> 00:28:18,288
I mean, I'm not going to tell
anyone you pulled those wires.
587
00:28:18,290 --> 00:28:19,890
I mean, I-I'm swell with it.
588
00:28:19,892 --> 00:28:22,412
I mean, it's okay
if you're afraid.
589
00:28:22,414 --> 00:28:25,376
I'm not afraid.
I'm just keeping us alive.
590
00:28:25,378 --> 00:28:27,778
Oh, yeah, you are.
You're afraid.
591
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:30,261
Oh, Christ, you're ridiculous.
592
00:28:30,263 --> 00:28:32,664
You know the difference
between me and you?
593
00:28:32,666 --> 00:28:35,947
Me, happy, happy,
happy, happy, dead.
594
00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:39,911
You, worry, worry,
worry, worry, dead.
595
00:28:39,913 --> 00:28:42,394
Don't drag me
into your shit, okay?
596
00:28:42,396 --> 00:28:45,399
[airplane engine
roars overhead]
597
00:29:16,633 --> 00:29:18,954
CHAPLAIN: Sorry about today.
598
00:29:18,956 --> 00:29:20,836
Just when you think
you're close to heading home,
599
00:29:20,838 --> 00:29:23,159
ten more missions--I-I can only
imagine how that must feel.
600
00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,001
He's a goddamn monster.
601
00:29:25,003 --> 00:29:27,483
To punish the squadron
for one man's transgression?
602
00:29:27,485 --> 00:29:29,325
I-I'm not a believer
603
00:29:29,327 --> 00:29:31,327
in that sort of Old Testament
retribution myself.
604
00:29:31,329 --> 00:29:34,331
And was it really
a transgression?
605
00:29:34,333 --> 00:29:37,334
Well, to knowingly allow
your fellow men to be punished
606
00:29:37,336 --> 00:29:38,776
for a crime you committed,
607
00:29:38,778 --> 00:29:41,058
I-I would say
that's a transgression.
608
00:29:41,060 --> 00:29:43,581
But what if the crime
wasn't really a crime?
609
00:29:43,583 --> 00:29:45,903
Or even if it was a crime,
so what?
610
00:29:45,905 --> 00:29:47,465
The punishment is irrational.
611
00:29:47,467 --> 00:29:49,347
Should that man
be held responsible
612
00:29:49,349 --> 00:29:51,189
for the irrationality
of the punishment?
613
00:29:51,191 --> 00:29:53,031
I would have thought
that you of all people
614
00:29:53,033 --> 00:29:55,554
would be incensed
at the actions of this person.
615
00:29:55,556 --> 00:29:57,596
He's just caused you
to fly ten more missions.
616
00:29:57,598 --> 00:29:59,638
I am.
I'm incensed.
617
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,321
Not to mention
poor old Major de Coverly.
618
00:30:02,323 --> 00:30:04,003
[sighs]
619
00:30:04,005 --> 00:30:06,726
Was it a prank?
An act of sabotage?
620
00:30:06,728 --> 00:30:08,968
[scoffs]
What if it was an accident?
621
00:30:08,970 --> 00:30:11,932
Well, I-I don't see
how it could be an accident.
622
00:30:11,934 --> 00:30:15,055
My understanding is the bomb
line is a piece of string.
623
00:30:15,057 --> 00:30:16,817
It doesn't just move
on its own.
624
00:30:16,819 --> 00:30:20,301
We don't know that,
and Cathcart certainly doesn't.
625
00:30:20,303 --> 00:30:23,544
How do--how do we know
Cathcart didn't do it himself
626
00:30:23,546 --> 00:30:25,947
just to raise the missions,
because he's nuts.
627
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,709
He's crazy as a bedbug.
628
00:30:27,711 --> 00:30:30,672
Chaplain,
insanity is contagious.
629
00:30:30,674 --> 00:30:32,794
Everybody's crazy
except for us.
630
00:30:32,796 --> 00:30:35,477
You and I have to be careful.
631
00:30:35,479 --> 00:30:38,401
We may be the only sane people
in the entire world,
632
00:30:38,403 --> 00:30:41,564
and we're bullied and insulted
and harassed
633
00:30:41,566 --> 00:30:45,168
and shoved around
all day long by insane people.
634
00:30:45,170 --> 00:30:47,250
And we do our duty,
mission after mission--
635
00:30:47,252 --> 00:30:51,014
35, 40--then we're told
it's not good enough.
636
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,697
And when we object,
people like Cathcart tell us
637
00:30:53,699 --> 00:30:56,180
any true patriot would be proud
to fly as many missions
638
00:30:56,182 --> 00:30:57,822
as they're forcing us to fly.
639
00:30:57,824 --> 00:30:59,744
You look at it that way,
640
00:30:59,746 --> 00:31:03,668
I don't know
if this bomb line guy
641
00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:05,670
really did the wrong thing.
642
00:31:05,672 --> 00:31:08,716
I mean...
You know what I mean?
643
00:31:10,237 --> 00:31:12,920
[indistinct shouting
in the distance]
644
00:31:17,445 --> 00:31:20,446
[smooth jazz music]
645
00:31:20,448 --> 00:31:27,456
♪ ♪
646
00:31:54,405 --> 00:31:57,407
[indistinct chatter]
647
00:31:57,409 --> 00:31:59,609
♪ ♪
648
00:31:59,611 --> 00:32:01,291
CATHCART: At ease, at ease.
649
00:32:01,293 --> 00:32:03,335
Sit. Sit, please, sit.
650
00:32:06,779 --> 00:32:08,419
You did a lot
of damage today, boys.
651
00:32:08,421 --> 00:32:11,023
Bravo, we gave them
the real what-for.
652
00:32:12,665 --> 00:32:15,346
We lost 12 men...
653
00:32:15,348 --> 00:32:17,949
12 damn fine men.
654
00:32:17,951 --> 00:32:19,953
God rest their souls.
655
00:32:22,796 --> 00:32:24,476
But we did a lot of damage.
656
00:32:24,478 --> 00:32:26,198
Aerial photographs
are developed.
657
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,160
Bombing patterns
are meticulous.
658
00:32:28,162 --> 00:32:30,683
So job well done.
659
00:32:30,685 --> 00:32:34,967
Now, by way of saying
thank you...
660
00:32:34,969 --> 00:32:37,690
of letting you know
that your brave efforts
661
00:32:37,692 --> 00:32:40,534
do not go unappreciated...
662
00:32:40,536 --> 00:32:43,817
I have asked Milo,
our fine mess officer,
663
00:32:43,819 --> 00:32:47,143
to come up with something
special for you all.
664
00:32:49,105 --> 00:32:53,027
A personal favorite of mine--
Baked Alaska.
665
00:32:53,029 --> 00:32:55,390
Haven't had it
since before the war.
666
00:32:55,392 --> 00:32:57,392
Come on, boys, bring it in!
667
00:32:57,394 --> 00:32:59,795
There you go!
668
00:32:59,797 --> 00:33:01,797
There you go, boys.
669
00:33:01,799 --> 00:33:05,000
[indistinct chatter]
670
00:33:05,002 --> 00:33:07,803
CATHCART: Milo, looks great.
671
00:33:07,805 --> 00:33:11,209
[chatter continues]
672
00:33:26,746 --> 00:33:29,949
[speaking Italian]
673
00:33:32,752 --> 00:33:35,475
[chatter continues]
674
00:33:37,598 --> 00:33:40,239
Goddamn yummy!
It's goddamn yummy!
675
00:33:40,241 --> 00:33:43,042
Is it not, gentleman?
Colonel Korn, what say you?
676
00:33:43,044 --> 00:33:44,723
KORN: Yes, sir, it's yummy.
677
00:33:44,725 --> 00:33:47,609
[chuckles]
Milo, fine job.
678
00:33:51,573 --> 00:33:54,294
Did you not get any?
679
00:33:54,296 --> 00:33:57,177
I say, did you not get any?
NATELY: We did not, sir.
680
00:33:57,179 --> 00:34:00,901
CATHCART: I can't hear you.
We did not, sir.
681
00:34:00,903 --> 00:34:04,387
Do you not want some?
NATELY: No, thank you, sir.
682
00:34:11,274 --> 00:34:13,397
One plane turned back today.
683
00:34:15,839 --> 00:34:18,242
Would the crew of that plane
stand up?
684
00:34:27,532 --> 00:34:31,937
And who might the pilot
of this intrepid ship be?
685
00:34:34,380 --> 00:34:37,062
That'd be me, sir.
KORN: That's McWatt, sir.
686
00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:41,708
McWatt.
687
00:34:43,469 --> 00:34:45,590
And pray tell, McWatt,
688
00:34:45,592 --> 00:34:49,716
what precipitated this urgent
need to be back at base?
689
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,920
Broken intercom--
690
00:34:54,922 --> 00:34:56,922
Speak up
so everybody can hear you.
691
00:34:56,924 --> 00:34:59,327
A broken intercom, sir.
692
00:35:01,489 --> 00:35:02,688
Oh.
693
00:35:02,690 --> 00:35:04,693
[sucks teeth]
694
00:35:11,180 --> 00:35:16,063
Major Major, you've been
reading the manual, I believe.
695
00:35:16,065 --> 00:35:19,587
Tell us, in the course
of your studies,
696
00:35:19,589 --> 00:35:22,150
have you come across
a paragraph or a subclause
697
00:35:22,152 --> 00:35:26,514
that tells you
that a broken intercom
698
00:35:26,516 --> 00:35:29,157
is a valid Procedural
Termination Mechanism
699
00:35:29,159 --> 00:35:31,159
for Mission Abortion?
700
00:35:31,161 --> 00:35:32,441
I don't, um--
701
00:35:32,443 --> 00:35:33,962
[clears throat]
702
00:35:33,964 --> 00:35:37,849
I haven't necessarily--
CATHCART: No, you haven't!
703
00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:41,731
Because there isn't one!
704
00:35:41,733 --> 00:35:45,215
And I want everyone to take
a good look at this table,
705
00:35:45,217 --> 00:35:47,177
because at this table,
706
00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:50,783
you will see the face
of cowardice!
707
00:35:55,988 --> 00:36:01,595
And that is not a face that
gets Baked Alaska put in it.
708
00:36:04,318 --> 00:36:07,319
[slow jazz music]
709
00:36:07,321 --> 00:36:14,368
♪ ♪
710
00:36:22,417 --> 00:36:24,818
Hi.
[girls giggle]
711
00:36:24,820 --> 00:36:26,660
[indistinct chatter]
712
00:36:26,662 --> 00:36:33,670
♪ ♪
713
00:36:39,676 --> 00:36:42,719
[seagulls crying]
714
00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:53,651
[airplane engine
roars overhead]
715
00:37:00,138 --> 00:37:03,460
[all shouting]
716
00:37:03,462 --> 00:37:06,183
It's goddamn McWatt!
717
00:37:06,185 --> 00:37:09,108
[laughing]
718
00:37:10,830 --> 00:37:14,552
Oh, Jesus Christ.
KID: Get out of here, McWatt!
719
00:37:14,554 --> 00:37:16,434
AARFY: What the fuck?
720
00:37:16,436 --> 00:37:18,396
You piece of shit!
721
00:37:18,398 --> 00:37:21,762
McWatt, you fucking maniac!
[chuckles]
722
00:37:25,646 --> 00:37:26,885
Son of a bitch.
723
00:37:26,887 --> 00:37:29,608
Come on, McWatt,
let's see what you got.
724
00:37:29,610 --> 00:37:32,412
AARFY: McWatt, you nut!
What's he doing?
725
00:37:32,414 --> 00:37:34,654
Yeah, get him, Sampson.
Yeah, Kid, get him!
726
00:37:34,656 --> 00:37:36,856
Come on, Kid, get him.
NATELY: Here he comes.
727
00:37:36,858 --> 00:37:38,538
KID: Come on, McWatt!
Here he comes!
728
00:37:38,540 --> 00:37:41,341
KID: Come on!
Let's see what you got!
729
00:37:41,343 --> 00:37:44,026
Oh, I see you, motherfucker.
Come on, McWatt.
730
00:37:45,548 --> 00:37:46,947
YOSSARIAN: That's right,
give it to him.
731
00:37:46,949 --> 00:37:48,509
Kid Sampson,
shove it up his ass!
732
00:37:48,511 --> 00:37:50,151
Shove it right up his ass!
KID: Come on!
733
00:37:50,153 --> 00:37:51,312
Whoo!
734
00:37:51,314 --> 00:37:52,874
[engine roaring]
735
00:37:52,876 --> 00:37:54,596
Shove it up his ass!
736
00:37:54,598 --> 00:37:57,038
This is going
straight up your ass, McWatt!
737
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,321
Oh, shit!
738
00:37:59,323 --> 00:38:01,763
KID: Whoo!
739
00:38:01,765 --> 00:38:05,447
[somber music]
740
00:38:05,449 --> 00:38:07,690
Oh.
741
00:38:07,692 --> 00:38:09,532
He got Kid Sampson.
742
00:38:09,534 --> 00:38:12,375
He got Kid Sampson!
Fuck!
743
00:38:12,377 --> 00:38:15,538
Fuck! No, no!
Oh, God!
744
00:38:15,540 --> 00:38:20,584
♪ ♪
745
00:38:20,586 --> 00:38:23,747
[yelling]
746
00:38:23,749 --> 00:38:27,672
♪ ♪
747
00:38:27,674 --> 00:38:29,434
Oh, no.
748
00:38:29,436 --> 00:38:31,436
[grunts]
749
00:38:31,438 --> 00:38:37,484
♪ ♪
750
00:38:49,177 --> 00:38:51,297
What are you doing, McWatt?
751
00:38:51,299 --> 00:38:58,347
♪ ♪
752
00:39:14,004 --> 00:39:15,203
[spits]
753
00:39:15,205 --> 00:39:21,252
♪ ♪
754
00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:26,778
Happy, happy, happy, happy!
755
00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:31,944
Aah!
756
00:39:34,026 --> 00:39:37,027
[soft music]
757
00:39:37,029 --> 00:39:44,037
♪ ♪
758
00:40:04,910 --> 00:40:09,910
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758
00:40:10,305 --> 00:40:16,762
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