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1
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:13,814
Sometimes the world
looks perfect
2
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,250
Nothin' to rearrange
3
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:19,320
Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:22,156
Like you need
some kind of change
5
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,228
No matter what the odds
are this time
6
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,797
Nothing's gonna stand
in my way
7
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,332
This flame in my heart
8
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,866
Like a long lost friend
9
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:37,271
Gives every dark street
a light at the end
10
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,041
Standing tall
11
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:44,845
On the wings
of my dream
12
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,948
Rise and fall
13
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:51,719
On the wings
of my dream
14
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:58,326
The rain and thunder
15
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,662
It's my life my dream
16
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:05,166
Nothing's gonna stop me now
17
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,817
Cousin, hurry up.
18
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,086
Cousin Bartok will
be here any minute.
19
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,260
(SNIFFS)
20
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,734
Balki?
Yeah.
21
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,837
Have you washed
this sheepskin
since your mama
22
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,739
sent it from Mypos?
23
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,409
Well, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
24
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,580
If we want Cousin Bartok
to feel at home here
25
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,583
the apartment has
to smell barnyard fresh.
26
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,988
Cousin, did I ever
tell you about the time
27
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,524
that Cousin Bartok and I
made water balloons
out of...
28
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,427
(TOGETHER)
...sheep bladders.
29
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:07,761
(TOGETHER)
...Cousin Bartok's hut.
30
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,862
And we dropped them on...
31
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:12,166
(TOGETHER)
Devo the butcher.
32
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,268
so he lowered his prices.
33
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,473
Were you there?
34
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,244
No. No, I was here.
35
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:24,745
I was here
listening to you
36
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:28,081
tell that story over
and over and over again.
37
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,150
Cousin, I can't help myself.
38
00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:32,253
I'm just, I'm just so...
39
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,660
I'm just so excited
that Cousin Bartok
is coming.
40
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,829
My favorite cousin
from Mypos is finally
41
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:45,065
going to meet
my favorite cousin
from America.
42
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,067
Well, I'll be
honored, Balki.
43
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,369
And, who knows,
as long as he's here
44
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:53,741
maybe we can show him
what it's like
45
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:57,211
Huh? Huh? Ho-ho-ho.
46
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,779
(GRUNTS)
47
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,581
(LAUGHING)
48
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,950
Ah, ha ha!
49
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,954
(BOTH SIGHING)
50
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,258
What are we talking about?
51
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,360
Forget it.
Oh.
52
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,128
Cousin, I got to warn you.
53
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,065
Now, um, Cousin Bartok
54
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,734
is a kind of meek,
55
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,571
and mild, and shy.
56
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,907
He only arrived
in Los Angeles
six months ago.
57
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,109
So, you know,
58
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,311
you can't expect him
59
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:34,248
to be as, Neapolitan
as I am.
60
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,319
That's cosmopolitan.
61
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,489
And, uh, after
the last four years
62
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,156
I think I'm prepared
for anything.
63
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:47,328
Thank you, cousin.
64
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,430
The Babo-digo-bo wreath?
65
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,632
The traditional
Myposian welcome wreath.
66
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:55,436
Made from the beards
of 100 un-milked goats.
67
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,804
I'll be right back.
68
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,441
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
69
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,779
Hey, hi.
70
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,449
I'm looking for
Balki Bartokomous.
71
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,421
Balki Bartokomous?
72
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:18,359
Sorry, dude. I must have
the wrong apartment.
73
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,394
No, no, no, no.
74
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,862
You... You must be Bartok.
75
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,831
Yo.
Well, come in.
76
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,566
Alright!
77
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,402
Excellent.
78
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,807
The Babo-digo-bo wreath
is starting to shed.
79
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,309
Balki!
80
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,277
Cousin Bartok!
81
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,781
Alright.
82
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:50,090
Wow!
A Babo-digo-bo wreath.
83
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,326
Alright. Heavy, dude.
84
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:56,564
Oh, Cousin Bartok
85
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,298
Cousin Larry,
Cousin Bartok.
86
00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:00,033
Cousin Bartok,
Cousin Larry.
87
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,374
Likewise, dude.
88
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,741
That's cash.
89
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,013
Are... Are you sure
you two are just cousins?
90
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,416
I... I can't believe
how much you
look alike.
91
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,850
Oh, wow.
92
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,486
You... You really
think so.
93
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,254
Well, cousin,
maybe a little
around the eyes
94
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,791
but I mean,
it's not like
The Patty Duke Show.
95
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,829
for a couple
of nights.
96
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,731
Well, why should you
spend money on a hotel
97
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,934
when we have a very
comfortable couch
right here?
98
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,235
Oh, wow.
99
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,437
A couch!
100
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:41,609
If I didn't
have a bad back
101
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,612
Ah, maybe I better
just scope out a hotel.
102
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,547
A hotel!
103
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,281
Bite your tongue off.
104
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:53,253
You're staying right here.
105
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,223
You just take
your suitcase and march
right on in there.
106
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,658
First door on the left.
107
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,496
Alright, B-man.
You're alright.
108
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,031
Oh, dude,
I almost forgot
109
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,266
I got the taxi cab
waiting downstairs.
110
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,035
I'm a little
lean on green.
111
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,504
No. You look fine.
112
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,409
Oh, oh, don't worry,
Cousin Bartok.
113
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:18,646
I'll take care of the cab.
You make yourself at home.
114
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,313
Excellent.
115
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,082
But they're cousins
116
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:25,385
Identical cousins
and you'll find...
117
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,526
Uh, Bart, I...
I have to tell you
118
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,195
you're not at all
what I expected.
119
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,430
I thought somebody
from Mypos
120
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:39,500
would be much more...
Myposian.
121
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:43,170
Yeah, well, um...
122
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,738
Hey, mind if
I call you Larr?
123
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,708
Well, uh, actually
I prefer--
124
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,610
Great, Larr.
Well, the deal is...
125
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,945
See, uh, when,
I first hit LA
126
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,847
I looked like
our friend
Balki out there.
127
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,585
And, uh, people
looked at me like
I was this total geek
128
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,954
and I was like,
oh, wow, I was
like bummed.
129
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,157
And then, I was lucky enough
to, uh, hook up with this dude
130
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:07,495
Frankie Bathgate
131
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,730
And I go, "What?"
132
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,299
And he goes, "Oh, wow."
133
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,668
And I'd go, "Huh?"
134
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:20,574
And he goes, "Numero uno,
what you gotta do is get rid
135
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:21,942
"of everything that says Mypos
136
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,877
"and that includes,
like, the clothes
137
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,715
"the accent, and anything
made out of goat hair."
138
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,684
Hey, um...
139
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,056
Well, no, Balki
decorated it this way
140
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,092
so you'd feel
more at home.
141
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,162
Dude, the way to
really make me feel
more at home
142
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,498
is to get a couple
of babes up here.
143
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,599
You know what I mean?
144
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,234
(LAUGHING)
145
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,004
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
146
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,451
Hi, Larry.
Hi, Lydia. Uh, Lydia?
147
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,754
I heard you met
Balki's cousin, Bart.
148
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,321
What'd you think of him?
149
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:11,124
Ooh, nice.
150
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,397
What'd you really
think of him, Lydia?
151
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:21,468
Well, it may just be me
152
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,804
"Hey, babe.
Nice to you.
153
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,006
"How many bucks
do you pull down
a week?"
154
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,210
Well, I like the guy.
155
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,882
After you had breakfast
with him and Balki
156
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,483
he stuck you
with the check.
157
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,151
I know,
that's why I like him.
158
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,523
Everybody, everybody,
I have great news.
159
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,258
Balki, you got
new sunglasses.
160
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,895
Yeah. Cousin Bartok kind of
talked me into them.
161
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,164
Totally tubular, huh?
162
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,169
Mr. Gorpley,
Ms. Lydia
163
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:59,206
I'm having
for Cousin Bartok
on Saturday night.
164
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,609
Saturday? I thought Bart
was leaving on Wednesday.
165
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,410
That's the
good news, cousin.
166
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,479
Cousin Bartok has decided
to start his business
167
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,182
right here in Chicago
and he'll be staying
with us
168
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:12,252
until he can find
an apartment
in my price range.
169
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,325
Isn't that way cool?
170
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,293
I am totally stoked!
171
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,564
I've got to go tell
everyone else about
the party.
172
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,939
You have got to hand it
to a guy who can
173
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,941
rip off his own family.
174
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,778
I think I'll go
call my mother.
175
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,748
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
176
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,895
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
177
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,839
SAM:
So, Bartokomous.
178
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,642
Well, it's really not
Cousin Bartok's idea.
179
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,812
The idea actually belongs
to a dude in California
180
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,446
named John Greeley.
181
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,382
But Cousin Bartok
has obtained
182
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,817
all the marketing rights.
183
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:17,985
All that's left to do
184
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,922
is the, is the
wheeling
and dealing,
185
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:25,726
and shakin'
and bakin'.
186
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,262
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine.
Now what's the idea?
187
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,269
It's a beach towel.
188
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,641
A beach towel?
189
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,211
Well, move over
Donald Trump.
190
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,218
Balki, I-I hope this
doesn't come as a shock
191
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:54,387
but they've already
invented the beach towel.
192
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:58,425
I know that.
193
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,294
Cousin Bartok says
it's truly bodacious.
194
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,998
You see, it's a towel,
the color of sand.
195
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,800
So it actually looks like
196
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,802
a piece o' the beach.
197
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,706
But what happens
if you go swimming?
198
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,808
How... How do you find
your towel again?
199
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:20,981
Wow.
200
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,684
That is a good question.
201
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,354
But I'm sure Cousin Bartok
has already thought of that.
202
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,157
He never thinks about
anything but business.
203
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,127
You know,
204
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,367
I knew you were awesome.
205
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:44,805
I was, like, "Oh, wow!"
206
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:48,075
Obliterated.
207
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,077
But...
208
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,145
There's something missing.
209
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,882
Me.
210
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,549
Oh, you're not missing.
211
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,018
You're right here.
212
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,488
You are heavy.
213
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,994
Forget it.
214
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,796
And I'm not heavy.
215
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,701
Don't tell me.
You're Bart--
216
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,469
You know,
the minute I saw you,
217
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,841
I knew you were awesome.
218
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:26,179
I was, like, "Oh, wow!"
219
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,881
Obliterated.
220
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,017
But there's
something missing.
221
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,219
And you're right.
It's me.
222
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,892
I see you've, uh,
met Jennifer,
my girlfriend.
223
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,264
And... And she's
a total babe.
224
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,904
(LAUGHING)
225
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,809
Where do I
come up with them?
226
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,479
(LAUGHS POLITELY)
227
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,148
Uh, Jennifer,
would you mind seeing
228
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,183
if the rest of
the cheddar puffs are ready?
229
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,919
Sure, um, nice
meeting you, Bart.
230
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,387
Later, babe.
231
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,257
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
232
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,759
Larr, major wipe out
on my part.
233
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,862
Way sorry, dude.
234
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:18,065
Look, Bart never hits
on another dude's lady.
235
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,003
Listen, Larr, I got
some killer news.
236
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,305
I finally got the financial
backing for my project
237
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,008
and I'll be getting
my own pad this week.
238
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:31,078
Well, that is
killer news.
239
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,046
Well, congratulations.
Who's your backer?
240
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,814
Everyone! Everyone!
241
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,850
I have an announcement
to make.
242
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,751
Uh, Cousin Bartok
243
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,287
would you join me,
please?
244
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,224
Hit it, Balkman.
245
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:48,461
Uh, Cousin Bartok and I
are going into
business together.
246
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,664
Um, with his keen
business instincts
247
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,666
and my life savings
248
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,202
I don't see
how we can miss.
249
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,908
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
250
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,421
Okay, cousin,
here we go.
251
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,356
Balki, where's Bart?
252
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,225
It would've been nice
if he helped us clean up.
253
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,160
Oh, he's playing basketball.
254
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,329
Basketball?
255
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,132
At 1:00 in the morning?
Yeah.
256
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:34,841
He told me he was
going to play
257
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,209
Balki.
258
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,948
We have to talk.
259
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,383
You do?
Yes, I do.
260
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,385
And I couldn't
agree with you more.
261
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,256
Cousin, I'm
as tired as you are
262
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,359
of always having
cheddar puffs
at our parties.
263
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,427
Now, I thought,
maybe, we could have--
264
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,530
No, Balki.
No. No. Balki.
Little sausages in the--
265
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,601
Balki. Balki.
266
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:05,305
I wanna talk about
this beach towel business.
267
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:09,909
Risky.
268
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,244
Oh, well...
269
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,646
Cousin Bartok and I have
talked about the risk
270
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:17,150
and we agree it's
a no-prob situation.
271
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:23,556
Balki, he's using
the fact that he's a relative
272
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,658
to take your money.
273
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,560
Cousin, on Mypos
274
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,562
family trusts one another.
275
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,731
Balki, LA
did something to him.
276
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,566
He's changed.
277
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,136
Cousin, just because he
278
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:39,639
dresses different
and talks different,
279
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,575
and acts different
280
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,278
don't mean that
he's different.
281
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,249
Balki,
282
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,185
if it walks like a duck
and quacks like a duck
283
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,654
chances are, it's a duck.
284
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,432
Now, you were talking
about my Cousin Bartok
285
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,335
and then, you're
talking about a duck.
286
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,405
I know it's late
and you're tired
287
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,742
so I'm gonna give
you some time
288
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,145
to organize your thoughts.
289
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,680
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
290
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,057
Larr, dude!
What's happenin'?
291
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,561
Everything leveled out
and cool, bro-heim?
292
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,565
Hey, is the
Balkster home?
293
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:43,170
No, the Balkster
is at the bank
294
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,637
transferring his life savings
295
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,406
into his checking account.
296
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,841
Alright, 'cause
I'm psyched to get
297
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,110
the ball rolling
on this deal.
298
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,778
I noticed.
299
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,314
Bart, I know
what you're doing
300
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,249
and I'm not gonna
let you get your hands
301
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,584
on Balki's money.
302
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,352
Oh, wow!
303
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,454
I catch what's going on here.
304
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,257
I come up
with the most happenin',
305
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,859
outer-lunar,
money-making scheme
306
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,328
since the talking teddy bear
307
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,063
and I don't offer you
a piece of it.
308
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,931
(LAUGHS) Oh, well, Larr.
309
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,700
You have every right
to be angry.
310
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,035
Mea culpa, amigo.
311
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,406
Larr, I'll let you in
on the deal.
312
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,074
Go ahead and get
your checkbook.
313
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,115
Oh, look,
my two favorite cousins.
314
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,882
I'm so happy
you're getting along.
315
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,286
Balkman,
glad you made it.
I was startin' to worry.
316
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,922
Oh, don't worry. Be happy.
317
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,390
It's check writing time.
318
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,792
Now wait
a minute, Balki.
319
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,994
There's something
you should know.
320
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,763
I did a little
investigating.
321
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,665
I called the west coast.
322
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,602
I talked to the designer
of the Piece o 'the Beach,
beach towel.
323
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,771
Oh, wow. You talked
to Mr. Greeley?
324
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,275
Yes, and according to him,
Bart has absolutely
325
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,877
no marketing rights
to the towel at all.
326
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:01,013
Cousin, I thought
you had an agreement
with Mr. Greeley.
327
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,650
But, hey, no biggie.
I mean, I get...
328
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,418
Those rights
are just a phone call away.
329
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,787
I can reach out and touch
the dude tonight.
330
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,358
Bart, it won't matter.
331
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,726
Mr. Greeley said he has
no intention of ever
332
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,094
giving you those rights.
333
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,098
Major downer.
334
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,704
there's like a zillion killer
ideas out there.
335
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,673
Like, I heard...
I heard one
the other day.
336
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,074
Pet rock candy.
337
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,243
Blow my mind!
338
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,213
Balki, with my brains
339
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,381
and you're righteous bucks
340
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,815
we can make it happen.
341
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,086
You're the last person
on Earth
342
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,854
Balki would lend
money to.
343
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,390
Balki, what are you doing?
344
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,896
You're what?
Cousin.
345
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,532
When a member
of your family
needs your help
346
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,202
you help him,
no matter what the cost.
347
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,778
Oh, Balki, uh,
you made a mistake.
348
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,415
You... You made this
check out to Bartok.
349
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,617
And the bank only
knows me as Bart.
350
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,821
No, cousin,
I didn't make a mistake.
351
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,859
I'm not giving
this money to Bart.
352
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,694
That would be stupid.
353
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,331
I'm giving
this money to Bartok
354
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,567
because I know
that somewhere inside
355
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:31,471
them fancy clothes
is the Bartok I grew up with.
356
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,108
And I know that that Bartok
357
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,177
will use this money wisely.
358
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,854
I hate when you do this.
359
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,524
Bart.
360
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,726
Your Myposian accent's
coming out.
361
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,798
can't be far behind.
362
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,867
Come on, cousin.
Come on.
363
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:04,571
Let it out.
364
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:07,240
I have to keep
Bartok locked up.
365
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,741
Bartok is a dork.
366
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,747
And what is a dork?
367
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,351
A loser.
368
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,886
The only way
I can be a success
369
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,721
is by being Bart.
370
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,324
My friend
Frankie Bathgate says so.
371
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,695
but your friend
Frankie Bathtub
372
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,431
don't know Dick Butkus
about success.
373
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,936
The only way
to be a true success
374
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,838
is by being yourself.
375
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,310
Yeah, well...
376
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,345
I...
377
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:50,517
I don't...
378
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,286
I think I lost him
somewhere along the way.
379
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,396
Mypos.
380
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:09,135
Well, how I can get back?
I don't have any money.
381
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,503
Well, I tell you what.
382
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,672
I'll lend you
the money to go home.
383
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,275
You will?
384
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,879
Thank you, Cousin Balki.
385
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,752
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
386
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:35,362
"And make sure you give
Cousin Larry my regards
387
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:38,297
"and tell him when
I visit America again
388
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:40,600
"we'll do lunch.
389
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,669
"That's a joke.
390
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:53,846
Well, it sounds like Bartok
is happy to be back on Mypos.
391
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:59,686
Oh, look, cousin,
he sent his business card.
392
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:02,889
"Bartok's glow in the dark
sheep collars.
393
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:07,660
"Never lose a lamb
at night again."
394
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,399
It looks like Bartok
took a little bit of Bart
395
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,466
back to Mypos with him.
396
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,301
Well, of course, he did.
397
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,003
Don't be bogus, dude.
398
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:24,310
Balki, promise me you'll
never say dude again.
399
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,012
You got it.
400
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,850
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
27608
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