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1
00:01:44,134 --> 00:01:47,592
Miss Lemmon! Miss Lemmon!
2
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:53,907
Oh. Well. Oh! Dr. Warfield.
3
00:01:54,111 --> 00:01:56,671
Miss Lemmon, get Professor Kelp
in here immediately.
4
00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,475
But Dr. Warfield, I think that
Professor Kelp has a class right now.
5
00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:05,846
He had a class. Can't you hear?
Now, get him!
6
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:19,800
Get the axe. Get the axe.
7
00:02:22,439 --> 00:02:25,772
All right, men. All together, the door.
8
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Look out! Look out! Look out!
9
00:02:46,964 --> 00:02:50,422
Oh. Oh, for... I beg your pardon. Oh.
10
00:02:50,634 --> 00:02:54,627
Oh, this is terrible. Oh.
11
00:02:55,472 --> 00:02:56,905
Oh.
12
00:02:57,107 --> 00:03:00,702
Oh, my. Oh.
13
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:02,936
Oh, my.
14
00:03:04,348 --> 00:03:06,441
Professor Kelp?
15
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:08,809
Are you all right?
16
00:03:09,019 --> 00:03:13,353
And if you are, where are you all right?
17
00:03:14,858 --> 00:03:16,519
Oh.
18
00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:18,354
Oh, my.
19
00:03:26,103 --> 00:03:30,062
Oh, oh, oh.
20
00:03:38,749 --> 00:03:41,217
Oh, Dr. Warfield wants
to see you in his office.
21
00:03:41,418 --> 00:03:44,216
- Dr. Warfield wants...
- Yes, right away.
22
00:03:44,421 --> 00:03:47,151
I used too much...
23
00:05:21,985 --> 00:05:23,748
Kelp.
24
00:05:23,954 --> 00:05:27,685
How long have you been on
the faculty of this university?
25
00:05:28,358 --> 00:05:31,759
Oh, well, I would say...
26
00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:35,625
...oh, prior to my exposure
27
00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:38,232
as a student counselor
at USC, three years...
28
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,732
No, I went to postgrad, naturally.
That was two years prior...
29
00:05:40,938 --> 00:05:44,499
No, there was a botany exposure
that I had in one particular school.
30
00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:46,972
I had decided premed,
botany, whatever.
31
00:05:47,177 --> 00:05:49,475
I would much prefer the sciences,
in other words.
32
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,843
I think I should really go back to
the time that I graduated college...
33
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,450
How long?
34
00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,530
Two years and 22 minutes now.
35
00:06:14,738 --> 00:06:18,606
Kelp, as I recall
upon your arrival here,
36
00:06:18,809 --> 00:06:21,607
I told you, along with the other
new members of the faculty,
37
00:06:21,812 --> 00:06:23,040
that I will not stand
38
00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:27,115
for any member of my staff utilizing
the facilities of this university
39
00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:29,842
for his or her own
personal experiments.
40
00:06:30,053 --> 00:06:32,783
Did I not make myself perfectly clear?
41
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:36,687
Good. I knew my memory
served me well.
42
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:40,595
And Kelp, wasn't it approximately
six weeks later
43
00:06:40,797 --> 00:06:44,528
that you conducted a rather interesting
little experiment before your class?
44
00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:50,105
Let me see. I think it had something
to do with an additive to gasoline
45
00:06:50,307 --> 00:06:52,468
for the purpose of
increasing the efficiency
46
00:06:52,676 --> 00:06:55,873
of the combustion engine. Right?
47
00:06:56,079 --> 00:06:59,640
Yes, it was something
to that effect, Dr. Warfield.
48
00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:02,546
And do you happen to recall
what that additive was?
49
00:07:02,753 --> 00:07:05,381
Yes, as a matter of fact,
now that you bring it up,
50
00:07:05,589 --> 00:07:07,750
the additive was, specifically,
51
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:09,585
three parts carbon,
five parts hydrogen,
52
00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:12,318
one part nitrogen
and three parts oxygen.
53
00:07:12,529 --> 00:07:15,089
- Which, of course, is?
- Nitroglycerin.
54
00:07:15,299 --> 00:07:17,392
- The results were?
- Negative.
55
00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:19,398
- And?
- Noisy?
56
00:07:19,603 --> 00:07:21,127
Noisy?
57
00:07:21,338 --> 00:07:27,106
It was the worst explosion in the
history of this or any other university.
58
00:07:27,311 --> 00:07:28,539
Kelp, that was two years ago,
59
00:07:28,745 --> 00:07:31,339
and they're still talking about
it on the campus today.
60
00:07:31,815 --> 00:07:33,282
Now that you mention that,
Dr. Warfield,
61
00:07:33,483 --> 00:07:35,075
I saw young Phips the other day.
62
00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:37,913
You recall Arnold Phips
was in my class that day.
63
00:07:38,322 --> 00:07:41,086
Oh, yes. Really?
What'd he have to say?
64
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,724
Well, he said he's feeling much better,
65
00:07:42,926 --> 00:07:45,156
and that the bandages should
be off in about two weeks.
66
00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:48,225
Oh, well, a couple... Exactly!
That's exactly what I mean.
67
00:07:48,432 --> 00:07:50,195
You are a menace.
68
00:07:51,902 --> 00:07:53,927
Professor Kelp.
69
00:07:54,137 --> 00:07:57,004
Believe me, I know
what I'm talking about. Kelp,
70
00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:59,903
it's human nature. Kelp,
71
00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:03,637
people just don't like teachers
blowing up their kids!
72
00:08:07,651 --> 00:08:10,677
Kelp, try to understand
that I understand...
73
00:08:10,887 --> 00:08:16,257
...that scientists and creators
have their little eccentricities.
74
00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:18,485
Einstein hated haircuts.
75
00:08:18,695 --> 00:08:20,322
Da Vinci loved to paint. And Newton?
76
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,464
He had something to do
with figs, didn't he?
77
00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:25,533
So therefore, I, too, realize
78
00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:29,672
that you have many of these
same eccentricities.
79
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,971
Try leaving them in the locker when
you come in in the morning, professor.
80
00:08:34,177 --> 00:08:37,544
And by all means, feel free
to take them home with you at night.
81
00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:43,747
All right, Kelp.
82
00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:46,047
Simmer down and relax.
83
00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:50,420
I'm sure that we won't have to have
another little talk like this again.
84
00:08:50,627 --> 00:08:52,117
Am I correct in assuming this?
85
00:08:52,329 --> 00:08:56,288
Oh, without question,
you're absolutely...
86
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:59,094
Yes, we'll never have
to correct our talk.
87
00:08:59,469 --> 00:09:03,030
We won't ever speak... That is,
we'll never have to talk again.
88
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,231
We just never will discuss talking.
89
00:09:05,442 --> 00:09:08,934
We shouldn't really converse
about speaking.
90
00:09:09,146 --> 00:09:13,014
Professor, our discussion has
come to an end.
91
00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:14,444
Oh, thank you very much, doctor.
92
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:16,414
- Kelp?
- Yes.
93
00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:21,455
Your watch. Does it...
94
00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:23,916
...always?
95
00:09:24,127 --> 00:09:28,757
Oh, well, no, just...
Just when I open...
96
00:09:37,607 --> 00:09:39,871
Those are your greens.
97
00:09:55,192 --> 00:09:56,489
Fine. How are you?
98
00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:05,493
"Therefore, through history,
99
00:10:05,702 --> 00:10:07,260
"man has been curious..."
100
00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:10,765
- Professor Kelp?
- Yes, Worfshefski.
101
00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:15,001
- I... I have to go...
- You have to go?
102
00:10:15,212 --> 00:10:18,340
And since when did you find it
necessary to ask permission to go?
103
00:10:18,782 --> 00:10:23,219
No, well, what I meant to say,
Professor Kelp, was that
104
00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:26,480
I have to go to football practice.
105
00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:28,820
Football practice?
106
00:10:29,025 --> 00:10:31,550
At this hour?
What about your studies?
107
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:35,356
Well, Mr. Coughman, the coach,
108
00:10:35,565 --> 00:10:39,023
well, he asked me to try and get off
my first class this morning because...
109
00:10:39,236 --> 00:10:42,467
Get off your first class?
110
00:10:42,672 --> 00:10:46,631
Did he now? To get off your
first class. Mr. Worfshefski,
111
00:10:46,843 --> 00:10:49,004
had you learned anything
in your first class,
112
00:10:49,212 --> 00:10:52,045
and I am in reference
to the elementary class,
113
00:10:52,249 --> 00:10:56,447
you might not be in such
dire need of learning now.
114
00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:57,950
Your request is denied.
115
00:10:58,154 --> 00:10:59,451
Please be good enough to sit down,
116
00:10:59,656 --> 00:11:02,124
and I don't want to hear another word
about your stupid practice.
117
00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:08,494
You didn't have no call to go yelling
at me like that, Professor Kelp.
118
00:11:08,698 --> 00:11:13,499
Worfshefski, I might have been
a little rash.
119
00:11:13,703 --> 00:11:17,036
And that wasn't very nice when you
said that my practice was stupid.
120
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,673
No, I might have meant
that I was stupid
121
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:20,240
in assuming that practice was stupid.
122
00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:23,776
- Naughty, naughty, naughty...
- Now, Worfshef...
123
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:26,141
...teacher.
- Well, no, you shouldn't be upset.
124
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:30,149
Worfshefski, you're breaking my...
Oh, there goes the tibia.
125
00:11:30,353 --> 00:11:32,583
Worfshefski, you're a... Worfshefski.
126
00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:34,984
You must realize that...
You must realize what you're do...
127
00:11:35,191 --> 00:11:37,216
You don't realize what
you're doing, Worfshefski.
128
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:40,918
Really. Worfshefski, you don't
realize what you're doing.
129
00:11:47,537 --> 00:11:49,971
Well, just don't do something,
sit there.
130
00:11:50,173 --> 00:11:52,937
Well, that is... Class dismissed.
131
00:11:53,276 --> 00:11:55,176
You may go.
132
00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:02,683
Can I be of any assistance,
Professor Kelp?
133
00:12:07,424 --> 00:12:09,688
Oh...
134
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,918
Thank you, Miss Purdy.
135
00:12:12,128 --> 00:12:14,323
You're very, very considerate.
136
00:12:14,531 --> 00:12:16,726
Actually, I would appreciate
the assistance,
137
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:18,560
for were it not for your assisting me,
138
00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:22,204
I might very well be here
all semester.
139
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,208
Well...
140
00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:30,307
- Let's start with the book.
- Yeah, that... I don't...
141
00:12:30,513 --> 00:12:32,481
Oh, I...
142
00:12:36,119 --> 00:12:38,383
You have to be...
143
00:12:38,688 --> 00:12:41,748
Wait, it's connected.
You better not press that.
144
00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:46,193
Just pull it right out, Miss Purdy.
Oh. That really snapped.
145
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:48,921
- Oh, I'm sorry, professor.
- That's all right. Just...
146
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:52,898
- No, try and lean...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
147
00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:54,331
No, let me just...
148
00:12:54,537 --> 00:12:57,529
Let me have this arm.
Just, may I have that arm?
149
00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:59,504
- Oh, yes.
- All right, now you just hold
150
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:02,234
some of the body.
151
00:13:05,949 --> 00:13:08,417
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, Miss Purdy.
152
00:13:08,852 --> 00:13:10,444
Are you all right, professor?
153
00:13:10,654 --> 00:13:14,420
Oh, yes, I've... This is
very embarrassing, Miss Purdy.
154
00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:16,683
Why don't you call me
Stella, professor.
155
00:13:16,993 --> 00:13:19,052
Oh, I thought it was Stella Purdy.
156
00:13:19,262 --> 00:13:21,594
Oh, you mean to call you Stella, yes.
157
00:13:21,798 --> 00:13:23,459
How stupid of me. I'm sorry.
158
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:26,101
All right, I will, stupid... Stella.
159
00:13:26,302 --> 00:13:29,567
I'm very upset.
It's very embarrassing.
160
00:13:32,008 --> 00:13:33,805
Honestly, professor.
161
00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:36,706
You shouldn't let a big ox
like that bother you.
162
00:13:36,913 --> 00:13:42,442
He's the typical bully that loves
picking on a small man.
163
00:13:44,921 --> 00:13:47,947
Ye... Yes, you're right, Miss Purdy.
164
00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:51,616
But you had best run along,
or you'll miss your next class.
165
00:13:51,828 --> 00:13:53,420
You're sure you're all right?
166
00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:58,966
Oh, yes, I'm... As I said, I'm just
embarrassed. I'm fine. Thank you.
167
00:14:10,313 --> 00:14:12,281
Miss Pur...
168
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:14,074
Oh!
169
00:14:15,218 --> 00:14:18,881
Miss Pur... Excuse me. The...
170
00:14:32,836 --> 00:14:36,033
He's a typical bully that lovespicking on a small man.
171
00:14:36,239 --> 00:14:41,836
Picking on a small man. Picking ona small man. Picking on a small man.
172
00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:04,894
I think I broke this...
173
00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:45,073
You're going the wrong way, sir.
174
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:47,607
This is the gym. I take it you're new?
175
00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:50,473
- Well, I'm not brand-new.
- No, I mean a new student.
176
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:51,908
Oh.
177
00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:02,652
I'm terribly sorry, sir. Are you hurt?
178
00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:05,284
Well, actually...
179
00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:07,759
...if you would say that a man
with an ulcer
180
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:10,558
had a nail in his shoe
and a splinter in his finger,
181
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:12,029
was then struck by lightning,
182
00:16:12,235 --> 00:16:14,226
if you could say that that man
was not hurt, then yes,
183
00:16:14,437 --> 00:16:15,904
you would say I'm not hurt.
184
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,505
Good. By the way, we don't
wear glasses at Vic Tanny's.
185
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,539
Oh, well, fine.
Then I'll just take these off.
186
00:16:20,743 --> 00:16:23,803
I didn't realize that you're
not suppose to...
187
00:16:24,013 --> 00:16:25,981
There's nowhere really that I have to...
188
00:16:26,182 --> 00:16:27,843
Is there someplace
that I could put?
189
00:16:28,051 --> 00:16:29,916
Would you like me to put
these in a locker for you?
190
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,349
Well, I certainly would appreciate that.
You're very kind.
191
00:16:32,555 --> 00:16:34,546
I would have put them there
had I known
192
00:16:34,757 --> 00:16:35,191
that there was some
form of restriction.
193
00:16:35,191 --> 00:16:36,954
that there was some
form of restriction.
194
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:41,096
Some people use them for a fa�ade.
I wear them for eyes, you see.
195
00:16:41,297 --> 00:16:44,095
"Four eyes"? It's a play on "eyes".
196
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,700
Well, I hope I did nothing wrong
by wearing them.
197
00:16:46,903 --> 00:16:48,131
You see, I just didn't realize...
198
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:50,135
If we could get started,
I do have a class,
199
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,932
and I do have to get going.
200
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,574
- Come along with me.
- Wonderful.
201
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:56,209
Well, I hope you understand
I've never done this before,
202
00:16:56,412 --> 00:16:58,004
and I don't even know
where to begin.
203
00:16:58,214 --> 00:16:59,875
We start right here.
204
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:01,482
Oh, identical twins.
205
00:17:01,684 --> 00:17:03,914
No, that's a pulley machine.
206
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,350
A... Oh, a pulley machine?
Well, what does it do?
207
00:17:06,556 --> 00:17:08,114
You pull it.
208
00:17:08,324 --> 00:17:11,418
Fifteen or 20 pulls to begin with.
209
00:17:11,628 --> 00:17:13,061
- Oh, I see, well...
- And take it easy.
210
00:17:13,263 --> 00:17:16,755
Oh, take it easy, naturally, I...
I wouldn't strain myself for the world.
211
00:17:16,966 --> 00:17:18,331
Well, thank you very, very much.
212
00:17:18,534 --> 00:17:20,934
You're welcome. Happy muscles.
213
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:24,402
Yes, I certainly do.
214
00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:33,879
Oh, yes, I've seen that
in those magazines.
215
00:17:41,557 --> 00:17:44,685
Oh, that's very invigorating.
216
00:17:47,864 --> 00:17:50,196
Oh, that's terrific.
217
00:17:54,037 --> 00:17:58,337
Oh, I'm going to have a great
deal of fun with this, I can tell.
218
00:18:00,944 --> 00:18:05,904
The various aspects, of course,
is relativity to hydrogen.
219
00:18:06,115 --> 00:18:07,639
There is hydrogen,
220
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,317
duly explosive
221
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:13,080
and more devastating than the atomic.
222
00:18:13,323 --> 00:18:17,157
There is equally
the devastation in nitrogen.
223
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,625
Nitrogen equally...
224
00:19:37,473 --> 00:19:39,771
I... I couldn't help but notice...
225
00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:42,968
I was standing here...
That's amazing,
226
00:19:43,179 --> 00:19:44,908
the way that you
227
00:19:45,114 --> 00:19:49,642
push those things up there, that...
It must take a great deal of patience.
228
00:19:49,852 --> 00:19:52,286
And a little muscle.
229
00:19:52,488 --> 00:19:56,356
Oh, yes. Well, you certainly are...
Yes, you are...
230
00:19:56,559 --> 00:20:01,360
I'd love to be able to... I... I would
really enjoy trying that sometime.
231
00:20:01,564 --> 00:20:04,533
I... I don't think you'd
have the patience for it.
232
00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:07,669
Oh, well, I have the other thing
you mentioned, a little muscle.
233
00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:11,636
I say, that was sort of a corker.
234
00:20:12,008 --> 00:20:14,306
Here, enjoy yourself.
235
00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:32,927
I... I suspect it was somewhat
heavier than I...
236
00:20:48,811 --> 00:20:49,869
...lutely uncanny.
237
00:20:51,547 --> 00:20:53,742
Yes, I am inclined to agree with you,
doctor, but there are
238
00:20:53,950 --> 00:20:56,976
a couple of specific points
that I did neglect to mention.
239
00:20:57,753 --> 00:21:00,313
Specifically, the day
that I went to Vic Tanny,
240
00:21:00,523 --> 00:21:04,118
I got on the scale, as they normally do,
you know, to check in and so on,
241
00:21:04,327 --> 00:21:07,125
and I weighed 153 pounds.
242
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:10,163
And then after six months, I weighed
myself on that very same scale,
243
00:21:10,366 --> 00:21:14,302
and I found that I weighed 151.
244
00:21:15,338 --> 00:21:18,307
Very interesting, Professor Kelp.
245
00:21:18,741 --> 00:21:20,504
But I must admit,
I am somewhat surprised
246
00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:23,804
at a man with your education
and background
247
00:21:24,013 --> 00:21:26,948
to be intimidated by a bully
to this extent.
248
00:21:27,150 --> 00:21:28,583
Plus the fact you must know:
249
00:21:28,784 --> 00:21:31,446
Only some men react
to bodybuilding exercise,
250
00:21:31,654 --> 00:21:34,282
whereas others just don't.
251
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:41,362
Come, come, professor. Revenge
can't be that important to you.
252
00:21:41,564 --> 00:21:44,590
No, oh, I... I must...
I must take objection there, doctor.
253
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,564
Revenge might have
been the motivating force,
254
00:21:47,770 --> 00:21:52,207
but I feel now that curiosity has
taken over where revenge began.
255
00:21:52,708 --> 00:21:55,472
I am... I am more or less
being compelled by
256
00:21:55,678 --> 00:21:57,441
completing something that I started.
257
00:21:57,647 --> 00:22:00,912
I must finish what I start,
finish what I start.
258
00:22:01,117 --> 00:22:04,609
I can't say I don't admire a man
who likes to see something through,
259
00:22:04,820 --> 00:22:08,119
but if your six months have failed,
what do you propose to do now?
260
00:22:08,324 --> 00:22:10,884
Oh, I... I actually don't know, doctor.
261
00:22:11,093 --> 00:22:13,755
That's why I wanted to come
in and see you, you see.
262
00:22:13,963 --> 00:22:17,729
I had one plan, and I thought
I would just mention it to you.
263
00:22:17,934 --> 00:22:20,562
Chemistry is probably, for the
most part, what I know best.
264
00:22:20,770 --> 00:22:22,670
That's all I know, really, is chemistry.
265
00:22:22,872 --> 00:22:25,841
And some of the finest
pharmaceutical companies in the world
266
00:22:26,042 --> 00:22:29,170
make bodybuilding minerals,
vitamins, chemicals,
267
00:22:29,378 --> 00:22:31,107
all based on chemistry.
268
00:22:31,314 --> 00:22:34,408
And therefore, I felt I would approach it
from a chemistry standpoint.
269
00:22:34,650 --> 00:22:36,880
If I may prove a point,
I'd like to show you here...
270
00:22:37,086 --> 00:22:39,452
Oh, professor. Excuse me.
271
00:22:39,655 --> 00:22:41,316
I seem to have run out of time.
272
00:22:41,524 --> 00:22:43,321
I'm due at the hospital.
I hope you'll pardon me.
273
00:22:43,526 --> 00:22:46,393
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, doctor.
I never realized the time.
274
00:22:46,796 --> 00:22:49,458
As a matter of fact, I have a class.
275
00:22:55,304 --> 00:22:56,669
So you go right ahead
and don't worry.
276
00:22:56,872 --> 00:22:59,397
But I'd like to browse around
if it's all right with you.
277
00:22:59,609 --> 00:23:01,406
Not at all.
278
00:23:01,777 --> 00:23:03,608
I hope you find what you're looking for.
279
00:23:03,813 --> 00:23:07,078
You're terribly kind, doctor.
Thank you very much.
280
00:23:08,618 --> 00:23:15,148
Let's see. There should be anatomy,
body structure, structure, body, muscle.
281
00:23:36,512 --> 00:23:39,606
"Man's growth,
physically and mentally."
282
00:23:40,816 --> 00:23:45,310
"The man's mind, from childhood right
through old age, never stops growing.
283
00:23:45,521 --> 00:23:47,318
"Not in size or by measure,
284
00:23:47,523 --> 00:23:51,084
"but by constant learning
and knowledge."
285
00:23:52,228 --> 00:23:55,857
"On the other hand, man's body
does stop at a precise point,
286
00:23:56,065 --> 00:23:58,363
"that of completion in the structure
of the anatomy.
287
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:01,832
"Yet we have learned,
through chemistry...
288
00:24:02,171 --> 00:24:06,198
"...man can grow further with
the aid of additional elements."
289
00:24:52,688 --> 00:24:55,555
Seven weeks and 13 experimentshave gone by
290
00:24:55,758 --> 00:24:57,885
with little or no strides made.
291
00:24:58,094 --> 00:25:02,121
But today, I'm certainmy formula will work.
292
00:25:02,331 --> 00:25:07,394
So certain, that I plantrying it on myself tonight.
293
00:25:21,417 --> 00:25:22,645
Tonight.
294
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:34,525
Oh, I'm real... Oh, Miss Purdy.
295
00:25:34,730 --> 00:25:37,460
I'm terribly sorry. Here...
296
00:25:37,666 --> 00:25:39,531
Just let me get you up there, dear.
297
00:25:39,735 --> 00:25:42,203
Just... That's just ridiculous.
298
00:25:42,405 --> 00:25:45,169
- I never... I just swung the door...
- That's quite all right, professor.
299
00:25:45,374 --> 00:25:47,842
...right open, dear.
Here you are, that's...
300
00:25:48,043 --> 00:25:49,908
- It just knocked the breath out of me.
- I hope...
301
00:25:50,112 --> 00:25:53,275
- That was so stupid of me.
- I'm perfectly all right. No harm done.
302
00:25:53,482 --> 00:25:55,143
- Oh, well, that's fine.
- Professor?
303
00:25:55,351 --> 00:25:58,115
By the way, did anyone remember
to invite you for tonight?
304
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,083
Invite me?
305
00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:01,779
I don't think so... No. Where?
306
00:26:01,991 --> 00:26:04,653
Well, the class is gonna have
a midterm celebration tonight
307
00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:07,454
at The Purple Pit.
We'd love having you join us.
308
00:26:07,663 --> 00:26:10,223
Thank you, Miss Purdy, it's terribly
considerate and kind of you,
309
00:26:10,433 --> 00:26:11,832
and I appreciate it and all that.
310
00:26:12,034 --> 00:26:14,059
And I have always said
that I feel there should be
311
00:26:14,270 --> 00:26:17,398
a closer interrelationship between
the student and the faculty
312
00:26:17,606 --> 00:26:19,335
based on better learning.
313
00:26:19,542 --> 00:26:21,134
Yet at the same time,
I'm sure you're aware
314
00:26:21,343 --> 00:26:23,937
that The Purple Pit is off-limits
to the faculty of the university.
315
00:26:24,146 --> 00:26:25,636
Didn't you know that, Miss Purdy?
316
00:26:25,848 --> 00:26:28,840
Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry, professor.
317
00:26:29,051 --> 00:26:31,713
But I guess the reason
it slipped my mind is that
318
00:26:31,921 --> 00:26:34,788
The Purple Pit has never been
what it's supposed to be,
319
00:26:34,990 --> 00:26:37,288
by reputation, anyway.
320
00:26:37,626 --> 00:26:41,926
You know, I, too, have heard
it's a wild, terrible place,
321
00:26:42,131 --> 00:26:45,396
when it's really just
a quaint little spot
322
00:26:45,601 --> 00:26:47,865
where the students can go
to talk and relax
323
00:26:48,070 --> 00:26:50,937
and just generally get acquainted.
324
00:26:51,140 --> 00:26:53,938
And when you really get down to it,
325
00:26:54,143 --> 00:26:56,907
it's quite dull.
326
00:27:34,450 --> 00:27:37,351
Hey, Stella, couldn't you talk old Kelp
into making the scene with us?
327
00:27:37,553 --> 00:27:41,649
Can you imagine the professor here
in The Pit? He would break into a rash.
328
00:27:41,857 --> 00:27:43,381
Oh, don't be too sure.
329
00:27:43,592 --> 00:27:46,356
Professor Kelp's just the kind of guy
who might fool you.
330
00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:50,128
I bet he likes to get out
on his own a little bit.
331
00:27:50,432 --> 00:27:52,696
I'll bet you right now he's...
332
00:27:52,902 --> 00:27:55,928
...probably on his way to some
secret rendezvous
333
00:27:56,138 --> 00:28:00,131
with a mysterious
dark-haired female.
334
00:28:40,049 --> 00:28:42,643
Come in, Julius.
335
00:28:52,361 --> 00:28:53,760
How are you tonight, Jennifer?
336
00:28:53,963 --> 00:28:56,557
- How are you tonight, Julius?
- I'm just fine.
337
00:28:56,765 --> 00:28:58,232
I'm Julius.
338
00:28:58,434 --> 00:29:00,425
Now, be very, very quiet, Jennifer.
339
00:29:00,636 --> 00:29:02,627
We have a lot of work to do.
340
00:29:02,838 --> 00:29:04,271
Tonight's the big night.
341
00:29:04,473 --> 00:29:06,065
Be very quiet.
342
00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:08,300
He's got a lot of work to do.
343
00:29:08,510 --> 00:29:10,102
Tonight's the big night.
344
00:29:10,312 --> 00:29:12,405
The big night.
345
00:29:43,078 --> 00:29:45,638
Well, we're just about ready, Jennifer.
346
00:29:46,048 --> 00:29:47,481
You might be ready, Julius.
347
00:29:47,850 --> 00:29:50,717
But if I were you, I'd think about it.
348
00:29:50,919 --> 00:29:54,719
Think. Think. Better think.
349
00:29:54,923 --> 00:29:57,448
Better think about it.
350
00:33:04,446 --> 00:33:06,277
I told you, Julius.
351
00:33:06,481 --> 00:33:08,346
I told you, Julius.
352
00:33:08,550 --> 00:33:10,609
I told you, Julius.
353
00:33:10,819 --> 00:33:12,844
I told you...
354
00:34:06,074 --> 00:34:07,769
Thank you very much, sir.
355
00:34:08,410 --> 00:34:11,811
We know you'll be very happy.
And you look...
356
00:34:12,014 --> 00:34:13,242
...just stunning.
357
00:34:13,782 --> 00:34:18,151
And we'll have your other suits
and things no later than next week.
358
00:36:25,414 --> 00:36:29,180
- What'll it be?
- Oh, that's no way to talk.
359
00:36:30,085 --> 00:36:31,450
"What'll it be?"
360
00:36:31,653 --> 00:36:34,213
That's no way to treat a customer.
Come here.
361
00:36:34,623 --> 00:36:35,885
Try it like this.
362
00:36:36,091 --> 00:36:38,616
Pay attention. You'll feel better,
and the customers'll be happier.
363
00:36:38,827 --> 00:36:41,887
Try this: "What'll it be, hmm?"
364
00:36:42,097 --> 00:36:43,689
Try that. Come on,
we haven't got all night.
365
00:36:43,899 --> 00:36:45,093
Try it.
366
00:36:45,801 --> 00:36:48,531
What'll it be, hmm?
367
00:36:48,737 --> 00:36:50,364
Good! That was wonderful.
368
00:36:50,572 --> 00:36:52,267
Did anyone ever tell you
you couldn't sing?
369
00:36:52,474 --> 00:36:55,238
Nice. Make me an Alaskan Polar Bear
Heater, on the double.
370
00:36:55,444 --> 00:36:57,071
Come on, come on.
371
00:37:00,315 --> 00:37:04,274
Say, why don't you pick on somebody
your own disposition?
372
00:37:05,921 --> 00:37:08,719
Oh, please, Mr. Barroom Brawler...
373
00:37:08,924 --> 00:37:11,085
...don't hurt me or anything like that.
374
00:37:26,608 --> 00:37:28,041
Did you say a Polar Bear Heater?
375
00:37:28,243 --> 00:37:31,110
No, you said it.
I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater.
376
00:37:32,114 --> 00:37:33,206
I never heard of that.
377
00:37:33,415 --> 00:37:34,643
- Until now.
- Until now.
378
00:37:34,850 --> 00:37:36,078
All right, pay attention.
379
00:37:36,284 --> 00:37:38,718
- Two shots of vodka.
- Two shots of vodka.
380
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:40,444
- A little rum.
- Little rum.
381
00:37:40,655 --> 00:37:43,283
- Some bitters.
- A little bitters.
382
00:37:43,492 --> 00:37:44,959
And a smidgen of vinegar!
383
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:48,391
A smidgen of...
Are you gonna drink this here,
384
00:37:48,597 --> 00:37:50,622
or are you gonna take it home
and rub it on your chest?
385
00:37:50,832 --> 00:37:53,164
Hey, that was terrific.
386
00:37:53,368 --> 00:37:56,064
Hey, did you hear that, folks?
A regular George Bernard Shaw.
387
00:37:56,271 --> 00:37:59,297
Good boy! And he did it all by himself.
You did it all by yourself,
388
00:37:59,508 --> 00:38:01,237
and nobody helped you.
That's terrific.
389
00:38:01,443 --> 00:38:04,469
And with your very own big mouth. Now,
if you don't want this cocktail shaker
390
00:38:04,679 --> 00:38:06,943
to become a part of your gums,
mix the drink, shut your mouth
391
00:38:07,149 --> 00:38:09,117
and pay attention! Is that clear?
Repeat after me:
392
00:38:09,317 --> 00:38:10,284
- I'll...
- I'll...
393
00:38:10,485 --> 00:38:11,452
- I'll pay...
- I'll pay...
394
00:38:11,653 --> 00:38:13,314
- I'll pay attention.
- I'll pay attention.
395
00:38:13,522 --> 00:38:15,353
All right, let's continue.
396
00:38:15,557 --> 00:38:17,422
- Shot of vermouth.
- A shot of vermouth.
397
00:38:17,626 --> 00:38:19,150
- A shot of gin.
- A little gin.
398
00:38:19,361 --> 00:38:20,828
- A little brandy.
- A little brandy.
399
00:38:21,029 --> 00:38:22,690
- Lemon peel.
- A lemon peel.
400
00:38:22,898 --> 00:38:24,525
- Orange peel.
- Some orange peel.
401
00:38:24,733 --> 00:38:25,757
Cherry.
402
00:38:26,635 --> 00:38:28,432
- Some more Scotch.
- Some more Scotch.
403
00:38:28,637 --> 00:38:30,104
Now, mix it nice.
404
00:38:30,305 --> 00:38:32,899
Then pour it into a tall glass.
405
00:38:36,878 --> 00:38:39,142
Hey, I never tried one of these.
Do you mind if I take a sip?
406
00:38:39,347 --> 00:38:41,008
No, go right ahead.
407
00:38:45,620 --> 00:38:47,019
Not bad.
408
00:39:27,762 --> 00:39:29,059
Hi.
409
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:31,328
I don't know of any place in the world
410
00:39:31,533 --> 00:39:34,934
that's better to get to know a lovely lady
like yourself than on the dance floor.
411
00:39:35,870 --> 00:39:38,065
I hope you don't refuse.
412
00:39:39,140 --> 00:39:40,368
I'm sorry, I'm... I'm with...
413
00:39:40,575 --> 00:39:42,440
Hey. Now, you move along, sonny.
She is with us.
414
00:39:42,644 --> 00:39:44,874
Sit down, sit down.
415
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,344
Come here, honey.
Stand up here a minute, will you?
416
00:39:47,549 --> 00:39:49,449
Just over there. I'll be right back.
417
00:39:49,651 --> 00:39:51,312
Now, we don't want any trouble,
do we?
418
00:39:51,519 --> 00:39:53,077
Why don't you sit like nice boys.
419
00:39:53,288 --> 00:39:55,813
Would you like me to go
to Dr. Warfield, my personal friend,
420
00:39:56,024 --> 00:39:57,514
and tell him of your bad manners?
421
00:39:57,726 --> 00:39:59,523
He would be very displeased.
422
00:39:59,728 --> 00:40:00,695
Well, cool it.
423
00:40:00,895 --> 00:40:03,363
And if you're real nice lads,
cute little chappies,
424
00:40:03,565 --> 00:40:06,796
later on, I'll let you twirl my key chain.
425
00:40:07,002 --> 00:40:08,799
Now, relax.
426
00:40:09,537 --> 00:40:12,563
It's all straight, baby.
Put your arm up there. Right there.
427
00:40:12,774 --> 00:40:14,207
Remember how they do that
in the movies?
428
00:40:14,409 --> 00:40:16,741
They walk like high-class. Go ahead,
come on, come on, come on.
429
00:40:16,945 --> 00:40:22,076
Dancing, nice, with hugging.
It's wonderful. Clear the floor.
430
00:40:48,510 --> 00:40:51,035
I know what you're thinking.
431
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,142
"Where has he been all my life?"
432
00:40:53,348 --> 00:40:54,975
Right?
433
00:40:56,751 --> 00:40:59,117
No, not exactly.
434
00:40:59,721 --> 00:41:01,245
And...
435
00:41:01,790 --> 00:41:05,920
...that you're happy the way I handled
those three goons, right?
436
00:41:06,961 --> 00:41:08,485
Well...
437
00:41:09,497 --> 00:41:11,965
...normally,
I would have belted them.
438
00:41:12,867 --> 00:41:15,563
But I didn't want to muss myself all up
439
00:41:16,104 --> 00:41:18,129
and have you dance
with a sloppy guy.
440
00:41:18,340 --> 00:41:19,807
Dig?
441
00:41:23,712 --> 00:41:28,877
Well, then you restrained yourself
just for little old me.
442
00:41:29,084 --> 00:41:31,279
I knew you'd appreciate it.
443
00:41:32,587 --> 00:41:34,817
I do a lot of nice things.
444
00:41:37,659 --> 00:41:39,320
Well, is that really the case,
445
00:41:39,527 --> 00:41:43,793
or is this line 27-A
for young college girls?
446
00:41:46,835 --> 00:41:48,496
Now, you see?
447
00:41:48,703 --> 00:41:50,796
You went and done it.
448
00:41:51,706 --> 00:41:56,200
For one of the rare times in my life
when I dig down into the soul.
449
00:41:57,212 --> 00:41:59,578
And you doubt my veracity.
450
00:41:59,781 --> 00:42:01,874
Well, that hurts.
451
00:42:04,486 --> 00:42:06,010
Well...
452
00:42:06,354 --> 00:42:09,619
...it's not your veracity that I doubt.
453
00:42:12,627 --> 00:42:15,619
- The music stopped.
- Yeah, I heard.
454
00:42:17,766 --> 00:42:20,234
Hold it a second. Hold it. Hold...
Ho... Ho... Hold it.
455
00:42:20,435 --> 00:42:23,427
We'll make our own music,
gorgeous. Just hold it.
456
00:42:23,638 --> 00:42:24,605
You and you, stay.
457
00:42:24,806 --> 00:42:27,331
Tubby, you go rest your thumbs.
I'll drive.
458
00:42:27,542 --> 00:42:29,703
Sweetie, go get your lips
pressed. Split.
459
00:42:29,911 --> 00:42:31,276
- Will you listen?
- You listen.
460
00:42:31,479 --> 00:42:33,709
Sit down here, and if you listen,
you'll be thrilled.
461
00:42:33,915 --> 00:42:34,904
Believe you me.
462
00:42:35,116 --> 00:42:37,584
Sit and listen and watch.
463
00:42:38,186 --> 00:42:39,813
Mood is wrong. Mood is wrong!
464
00:42:40,021 --> 00:42:41,784
Innkeeper! Got sexy lights?
465
00:42:41,990 --> 00:42:43,617
Lay it on me.
466
00:42:43,992 --> 00:42:45,391
Better. Better.
467
00:42:45,593 --> 00:42:47,424
Now, watch, baby.
468
00:42:48,329 --> 00:42:50,320
Every move a picture.
469
00:43:01,042 --> 00:43:05,911
That old black magicHas me in its spell
470
00:43:06,114 --> 00:43:11,108
That old black magicThat you weave so well
471
00:43:11,352 --> 00:43:16,255
Those icy fingersUp and down my spine
472
00:43:16,458 --> 00:43:21,418
The same old witchcraftWhen your eyes meet mine
473
00:43:21,629 --> 00:43:26,464
The same old tingleThat I feel inside
474
00:43:26,668 --> 00:43:31,503
And then that elevatorStarts its ride
475
00:43:31,706 --> 00:43:34,334
And down, down, down I go
476
00:43:34,542 --> 00:43:36,874
Round, round, round I go
477
00:43:37,078 --> 00:43:39,842
Like a leaf that's caught in the tide
478
00:43:41,583 --> 00:43:43,710
I should stay away
479
00:43:43,918 --> 00:43:46,318
But what can I do?
480
00:43:46,521 --> 00:43:49,046
I hear your name
481
00:43:49,257 --> 00:43:52,055
And I'm aflame
482
00:43:52,260 --> 00:43:56,788
Aflame with suchA burning desire
483
00:43:56,998 --> 00:44:00,399
That only your kiss
484
00:44:00,602 --> 00:44:02,729
Can put out the fire
485
00:44:02,937 --> 00:44:07,340
You're the lover I have waited for
486
00:44:07,542 --> 00:44:11,171
You're the mate that fateHad me created for
487
00:44:11,379 --> 00:44:12,573
Baba doo boo whee
488
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:17,547
And every timeYour lips meet mine
489
00:44:17,752 --> 00:44:20,220
Baby, down and down and down I go
490
00:44:20,421 --> 00:44:22,821
Round and round and round I go
491
00:44:23,024 --> 00:44:25,015
In a spin
492
00:44:25,226 --> 00:44:27,524
Loving the spin that I am in
493
00:44:27,729 --> 00:44:30,721
Under that old black magic called
494
00:44:30,932 --> 00:44:33,230
Old black magic called
495
00:44:33,434 --> 00:44:36,198
Old black magic called
496
00:44:36,404 --> 00:44:38,531
Love
497
00:44:38,740 --> 00:44:40,435
Love
498
00:44:41,109 --> 00:44:44,101
Love
499
00:44:54,289 --> 00:44:55,847
Back. Back!
500
00:44:56,057 --> 00:44:59,151
Thank you, kiddies. You're all very,
very nice little boys and girls.
501
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:00,384
And if you're real nice,
502
00:45:00,595 --> 00:45:04,190
tomorrow night I just might ration out
a little more of this rare talent.
503
00:45:04,399 --> 00:45:06,060
Now, back to your seats. Back.
504
00:45:06,267 --> 00:45:08,201
Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.
505
00:45:08,403 --> 00:45:10,337
Back, back, back!
506
00:45:11,773 --> 00:45:13,604
They're nice kids. All nice.
507
00:45:13,808 --> 00:45:15,673
All nice kids.
508
00:45:15,877 --> 00:45:18,311
They have very, very good taste,
I might add.
509
00:45:18,513 --> 00:45:19,480
I'm glad.
510
00:45:19,681 --> 00:45:23,742
It would be a shame to waste
the genius of yours on the riffraff.
511
00:45:23,952 --> 00:45:25,544
Well, honey, I always say,
512
00:45:25,753 --> 00:45:26,913
if you're good, and you know it,
513
00:45:27,121 --> 00:45:30,420
why waste time beating
around the bush. True?
514
00:45:31,826 --> 00:45:37,662
And I always say that to love yourself
is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
515
00:45:37,865 --> 00:45:39,355
And after watching you,
516
00:45:39,567 --> 00:45:42,968
I know that you and you will be
very happy together.
517
00:45:43,171 --> 00:45:46,436
Just a minute, sweetheart.
I don't recall dismissing you.
518
00:45:47,442 --> 00:45:50,536
You rude, discourteous egomaniac.
519
00:45:50,979 --> 00:45:53,174
You're crazy about me, right?
And I can understand it.
520
00:45:53,381 --> 00:45:55,849
Only this morning, looking in the mirror
before shaving,
521
00:45:56,050 --> 00:46:00,316
I enjoyed seeing what I saw so much,
I couldn't tear myself away.
522
00:46:00,521 --> 00:46:01,681
Have some, baby?
523
00:46:02,423 --> 00:46:06,223
If I were your baby,
I'd be swinging from a tree.
524
00:46:06,427 --> 00:46:08,657
Oh, Stella, that's not nice.
525
00:46:09,697 --> 00:46:10,994
How do you know my name?
526
00:46:12,667 --> 00:46:14,567
Oh, well, we were introduced.
527
00:46:14,902 --> 00:46:16,995
No, we weren't introduced,
528
00:46:17,205 --> 00:46:19,070
or I would have remembered
your name.
529
00:46:19,273 --> 00:46:20,797
Now, just tell me how you knew mine.
530
00:46:21,009 --> 00:46:24,308
Oh, well, you've heard of ESP,
extrasensory perception?
531
00:46:24,512 --> 00:46:25,979
I'm a firm believer in ESP.
532
00:46:26,180 --> 00:46:28,842
Hey, buddy.
You really sang up a storm.
533
00:46:29,050 --> 00:46:30,142
- Yeah, I know.
- Yeah.
534
00:46:30,351 --> 00:46:31,841
Thanks a lot.
535
00:46:32,253 --> 00:46:33,242
Well, you heard him.
536
00:46:33,454 --> 00:46:35,479
Everybody knows Buddy.
537
00:46:35,690 --> 00:46:37,180
- Buddy?
- Yeah.
538
00:46:37,392 --> 00:46:39,724
Well, is that it?
539
00:46:39,927 --> 00:46:42,555
Or do you find it difficult
remembering two of them?
540
00:46:42,764 --> 00:46:45,528
Hey, you're kooky. That was cute.
541
00:46:45,733 --> 00:46:48,429
"Do you find it difficult
remembering two of them?"
542
00:46:48,970 --> 00:46:51,404
Wonderful, sweetie.
I knew you'd be a barrel of laughs.
543
00:46:51,606 --> 00:46:54,200
No, I don't find it difficult
remembering two of them.
544
00:46:54,976 --> 00:46:56,375
Buddy...
545
00:46:56,577 --> 00:46:58,067
...Love. That's it.
546
00:46:58,279 --> 00:46:59,906
Buddy Love.
547
00:47:00,114 --> 00:47:01,479
Buddy Love?
548
00:47:01,683 --> 00:47:03,514
Of the Los Angeles Loves.
549
00:47:03,885 --> 00:47:07,082
But that's of no consequence.
What do you say we make a move?
550
00:47:07,288 --> 00:47:09,848
- Make a move where?
- You have a car?
551
00:47:10,058 --> 00:47:11,616
- Of course I have a car.
- Crazy.
552
00:47:11,826 --> 00:47:12,952
Let's split.
553
00:47:13,161 --> 00:47:14,594
Let's split what?
554
00:47:14,796 --> 00:47:15,888
Is it a new car?
555
00:47:16,097 --> 00:47:18,190
Well, maybe not brand-new.
I've driven it a whole week.
556
00:47:18,399 --> 00:47:20,492
Nutty. Let's go.
557
00:47:40,755 --> 00:47:42,723
Here you are, baby.
Take this, wipe the lipstick off,
558
00:47:42,924 --> 00:47:45,085
slide over here next to me,
and let's get started.
559
00:47:46,327 --> 00:47:49,091
We have started and finished, buster.
560
00:47:49,297 --> 00:47:52,027
And now, for an encore,
get an earful of the following:
561
00:47:52,233 --> 00:47:54,360
I'll admit you're
a very sharp-looking guy,
562
00:47:54,569 --> 00:47:57,333
and you certainly have
that proverbial gift of gab.
563
00:47:57,538 --> 00:48:00,336
And the only reason I've gone this far,
I think, is because
564
00:48:00,541 --> 00:48:03,203
when you meet someone who is like
nothing you've ever met before,
565
00:48:03,411 --> 00:48:05,311
your curiosity gets stirred up.
566
00:48:05,513 --> 00:48:09,677
Well, mister, this is one kitten that
won't be smitten by that little old devil.
567
00:48:09,884 --> 00:48:11,784
So you can just turn this car
right around
568
00:48:11,986 --> 00:48:14,819
and take me right back
where you picked me up.
569
00:48:15,022 --> 00:48:16,956
That is, where we met.
570
00:48:17,658 --> 00:48:20,593
I said, wipe the lipstick off.
571
00:48:32,774 --> 00:48:34,708
Was it something I said?
572
00:48:34,909 --> 00:48:37,571
You must be deranged.
573
00:48:41,516 --> 00:48:44,110
Yeah, if you don't believe
in idle chatter
574
00:48:44,318 --> 00:48:47,310
and a lot of small talk,
yeah, I'm deranged.
575
00:48:47,522 --> 00:48:49,114
Or would you prefer
that I conduct myself
576
00:48:49,323 --> 00:48:52,190
like the little boys you're
accustomed to dating?
577
00:48:53,227 --> 00:48:56,219
Now, you know darn well that nothing
delights us more than being enjoyed,
578
00:48:56,430 --> 00:49:00,230
appreciated or just plain liked
by someone, right?
579
00:49:02,003 --> 00:49:04,301
Well, you're not gonna tell me...
580
00:49:05,373 --> 00:49:08,103
...that you're here
with me now because...
581
00:49:08,309 --> 00:49:10,334
...I don't appeal to you.
582
00:49:11,312 --> 00:49:13,712
And I'm sure that you can see
583
00:49:13,981 --> 00:49:15,778
I dig you pretty good too.
584
00:49:15,983 --> 00:49:17,280
Right?
585
00:49:18,452 --> 00:49:21,546
Well, isn't it easier to say so?
586
00:49:22,089 --> 00:49:25,024
Or would you much prefer that I used
a lot of that phony dialogue
587
00:49:25,226 --> 00:49:29,128
I'm sure you've heard at least
a half a dozen times before.
588
00:49:30,364 --> 00:49:32,332
So you see, Stell,
589
00:49:32,533 --> 00:49:37,368
when I tell you that you're a vibrant,
beautiful, exciting woman,
590
00:49:38,072 --> 00:49:39,539
you can believe me.
591
00:49:40,274 --> 00:49:42,367
You can bet it's the truth,
592
00:49:42,577 --> 00:49:47,241
because I'd have to be a complete idiot
not to want to hold you...
593
00:49:48,182 --> 00:49:51,948
...and kiss you
and make our time together
594
00:49:52,153 --> 00:49:56,783
a warm and wonderful moment
that could grow and develop...
595
00:49:57,692 --> 00:50:01,492
...into many moments, many hours,
596
00:50:01,696 --> 00:50:04,062
and into something really important.
597
00:50:06,267 --> 00:50:09,862
Nobody ever said anything
like that to me before.
598
00:50:10,972 --> 00:50:13,440
Nor can I ever remember
599
00:50:13,641 --> 00:50:16,872
a more honest approach
to two people being together.
600
00:50:18,379 --> 00:50:21,246
Well, that's what I've been trying
to get you to understand.
601
00:50:21,449 --> 00:50:24,009
Actually, I've never had...
602
00:50:25,820 --> 00:50:27,378
Have... That is...
603
00:50:29,156 --> 00:50:31,215
What I mean is...
604
00:50:48,576 --> 00:50:50,305
Miss Purdy.
605
00:50:53,047 --> 00:50:54,810
Oh, Miss Purdy.
606
00:50:55,816 --> 00:50:58,341
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, professor.
607
00:50:58,552 --> 00:51:02,147
That's perfectly all right, Miss Purdy.
I hope I didn't wake you.
608
00:51:02,356 --> 00:51:05,814
I do not recall excluding you from
the other members of the class
609
00:51:06,027 --> 00:51:08,257
from taking this test, Miss Purdy.
610
00:51:08,562 --> 00:51:10,154
I'm terribly sorry, professor.
611
00:51:10,364 --> 00:51:12,525
I was just getting ready
612
00:51:12,733 --> 00:51:14,132
to start.
613
00:51:14,335 --> 00:51:16,667
Oh, we were just getting ready
to start.
614
00:51:16,871 --> 00:51:19,237
Splendid, splendid.
Just getting ready.
615
00:51:20,841 --> 00:51:21,865
All right, students,
616
00:51:22,076 --> 00:51:25,512
please be aware that the test papers
must go on my desk for marking.
617
00:51:25,713 --> 00:51:29,308
Also, please be equally aware
of tomorrow's problem,
618
00:51:29,517 --> 00:51:33,112
H2O plus NO2, as we did
the other day, if you recall.
619
00:51:33,321 --> 00:51:36,449
I'm awfully sorry, professor,
and if it would be agreeable with you,
620
00:51:36,657 --> 00:51:39,888
I'd like to stay after my last class
and take the test.
621
00:51:40,494 --> 00:51:43,122
Well, that's highly irregular,
Miss Purdy,
622
00:51:43,331 --> 00:51:46,164
but we... We'll probably...
623
00:51:46,367 --> 00:51:48,062
Are you all right, Miss Purdy?
624
00:51:48,269 --> 00:51:49,861
I'll know better tonight.
625
00:51:50,071 --> 00:51:53,529
I mean, yes, sir, I'm quite all right.
626
00:51:53,741 --> 00:51:55,800
Oh, fine, then...
627
00:51:56,010 --> 00:51:57,443
Then I'll see you tonight...
628
00:51:58,045 --> 00:52:01,014
That is, after your last class,
as you said, to take the test.
629
00:52:01,449 --> 00:52:02,473
- Yes.
- Fine.
630
00:52:02,683 --> 00:52:04,981
- I'll hold your paper for you.
- Thank you.
631
00:52:05,186 --> 00:52:07,017
You're quite welcome.
632
00:52:08,389 --> 00:52:11,483
Be certain that it's
after your last class,
633
00:52:11,692 --> 00:52:16,129
and I'll be marking
these papers accordingly.
634
00:53:38,012 --> 00:53:39,980
Professor!
635
00:53:42,283 --> 00:53:43,682
Oh, yes, Gibson.
636
00:53:43,884 --> 00:53:45,545
I've got that book you asked for.
637
00:53:45,753 --> 00:53:48,278
- Oh, thank you very much.
- My pleasure.
638
00:53:48,956 --> 00:53:51,686
Yeah, wonderful. Oh.
639
00:53:53,127 --> 00:53:55,095
Now, then...
640
00:53:55,296 --> 00:54:01,201
...as you might very well recall,
yesterday, in discussing biology,
641
00:54:01,402 --> 00:54:06,601
the long legs of the beetle
and the wonderful body of the ant...
642
00:54:08,776 --> 00:54:11,074
No, no, that is...
What I meant to say was,
643
00:54:11,278 --> 00:54:13,803
the beautiful hair of the blond fish...
644
00:54:14,014 --> 00:54:15,675
No, actually, their...
645
00:54:15,883 --> 00:54:18,477
No. Their... The legs, they...
646
00:54:18,686 --> 00:54:20,153
Terrific-looking.
647
00:54:21,622 --> 00:54:25,319
I am completely aware of whatchemistry and drugs can do
648
00:54:25,526 --> 00:54:27,960
to assist and aid the body and mind.
649
00:54:28,162 --> 00:54:31,495
Yet I don't really believethat what has happened to me
650
00:54:31,699 --> 00:54:33,633
comes strictly from chemistry.
651
00:54:33,834 --> 00:54:37,736
There must be an explanationfor this phenomenon.
652
00:54:39,874 --> 00:54:42,104
- Jennifer?
- Hi, sweetie.
653
00:54:42,309 --> 00:54:43,776
I knew I was on the right track,
654
00:54:43,978 --> 00:54:46,970
but I never ever figured on
anything like this.
655
00:54:47,181 --> 00:54:48,978
I must have hit on heredity.
656
00:54:49,183 --> 00:54:50,275
Yep.
657
00:54:50,484 --> 00:54:52,577
That's it, heredity.
658
00:54:53,387 --> 00:54:55,082
Let's see.
659
00:54:57,691 --> 00:54:59,283
Elmer?
660
00:54:59,860 --> 00:55:01,225
Elmer!
661
00:55:01,428 --> 00:55:03,828
If you're not in here
in just ten seconds,
662
00:55:04,031 --> 00:55:07,728
your dinner will go to your family,
the hogs!
663
00:55:07,935 --> 00:55:09,129
Elm!
664
00:55:09,336 --> 00:55:12,533
Don't you sneak up on me.
665
00:55:12,740 --> 00:55:17,302
I... I... I was just finishing the ironing
of your underthings...
666
00:55:17,511 --> 00:55:18,842
...Edwina.
667
00:55:19,046 --> 00:55:20,809
Darling.
668
00:55:21,015 --> 00:55:22,778
Love?
669
00:55:22,983 --> 00:55:24,780
Angel?
670
00:55:25,352 --> 00:55:28,515
All the other nice things
I wish I could think of to call you,
671
00:55:28,722 --> 00:55:30,087
so you...
672
00:55:30,291 --> 00:55:33,385
...won't hit or yell.
673
00:55:34,428 --> 00:55:35,622
Honey?
674
00:55:35,829 --> 00:55:37,091
Honey?!
675
00:55:37,298 --> 00:55:40,961
Don't you "honey" me, you...
676
00:55:41,168 --> 00:55:44,433
You artificial son of a lizard.
677
00:55:44,638 --> 00:55:46,401
Now, sit down!
678
00:55:46,607 --> 00:55:49,599
And for the third time today,
679
00:55:49,810 --> 00:55:54,804
make a slob of yourself
trying to find your mouth!
680
00:56:08,362 --> 00:56:09,761
Idiot!
681
00:56:09,964 --> 00:56:12,524
Can't you eat
with your mouth closed?
682
00:56:12,733 --> 00:56:14,860
Not until I get something in it, dearest.
683
00:56:15,069 --> 00:56:17,503
What was that?
684
00:56:17,705 --> 00:56:20,230
Nothing. Nothing. It's quite all right.
685
00:56:20,441 --> 00:56:22,739
You're right. You're always right.
686
00:56:26,747 --> 00:56:29,113
My poor da-da.
687
00:56:29,524 --> 00:56:32,152
My poor da-da.
688
00:56:42,670 --> 00:56:44,160
Well, Jennifer,
689
00:56:44,372 --> 00:56:46,499
if that's what's to be, then I'll be it.
690
00:56:46,708 --> 00:56:48,539
You know what they say, Julie, baby:
691
00:56:48,743 --> 00:56:51,337
Que ser� ser�.
692
00:56:54,249 --> 00:56:56,877
Oh, Jennifer,
you know what I'm thinking?
693
00:56:59,254 --> 00:57:02,849
If this formula were to fall
into the wrong hands,
694
00:57:03,058 --> 00:57:06,050
the consequences
could be devastating.
695
00:57:06,394 --> 00:57:09,056
Now, it's much, much
too complicated to memorize
696
00:57:09,264 --> 00:57:12,358
and far too vitally important
to destroy.
697
00:57:13,034 --> 00:57:15,628
Now, the only two people
that I know that I can trust
698
00:57:15,837 --> 00:57:17,600
are my mother...
699
00:57:18,273 --> 00:57:19,968
...and my father.
700
00:57:20,575 --> 00:57:22,406
What I should do...
701
00:57:23,778 --> 00:57:27,009
...is mail my formula, the copy,
702
00:57:27,715 --> 00:57:29,580
to Mother and Father,
703
00:57:30,552 --> 00:57:32,383
with instructions
704
00:57:33,188 --> 00:57:35,748
that were anything to happen to me,
705
00:57:35,957 --> 00:57:38,551
they are to send the copy
of the formula
706
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:42,389
and my original copy to Washington.
707
00:57:42,697 --> 00:57:46,633
- George or Martha?
- No, Washington D...
708
00:57:48,336 --> 00:57:50,270
You're a silly bird...
709
00:57:50,472 --> 00:57:52,099
...with a big mouth.
710
00:58:34,082 --> 00:58:36,277
- Professor Kelp.
- Yes?
711
00:58:43,158 --> 00:58:47,891
- I'm ready, professor.
- Oh, that's very... Yes... What?
712
00:58:48,096 --> 00:58:52,590
- Did you forget about my test?
- Oh, no.
713
00:58:54,202 --> 00:58:58,935
Actually, no. I'm terribly sorry.
I did... I had another thing.
714
00:58:59,140 --> 00:59:03,600
Why don't you sit down at your table,
dear, and I'll get your paper.
715
00:59:04,245 --> 00:59:09,182
I actually didn't really forget.
716
00:59:09,384 --> 00:59:10,942
I...
717
00:59:15,223 --> 00:59:17,714
...have so many members of the...
718
00:59:20,995 --> 00:59:23,293
...class, it's difficult to...
719
00:59:27,936 --> 00:59:30,666
Oh, yes, here we are.
720
00:59:32,207 --> 00:59:34,402
It's very difficult to...
721
00:59:37,312 --> 00:59:40,179
You do want me to take the test?
722
00:59:40,381 --> 00:59:42,679
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Miss Purdy.
723
00:59:42,884 --> 00:59:45,876
Certainly, of course, it's necessary...
724
00:59:46,588 --> 00:59:48,818
...for you to take it.
725
00:59:49,557 --> 00:59:52,048
- Miss Purdy.
- Yes, Professor Kelp?
726
00:59:52,260 --> 00:59:57,197
I was going to say, I sincerely hope
that you don't mind if I don't linger.
727
00:59:57,398 --> 01:00:00,856
I do have some very essential matters
that I must take care of.
728
01:00:01,069 --> 01:00:05,403
Certainly, Professor Kelp.
And thank you for understanding.
729
01:00:06,241 --> 01:00:10,803
I understand far better than you
would ever believe, honey.
730
01:00:11,012 --> 01:00:12,912
Miss Purdy, that is.
731
01:00:13,648 --> 01:00:18,381
You just go right on,
and thank you for...
732
01:00:34,102 --> 01:00:37,697
Julius, in the afternoon?
733
01:00:40,208 --> 01:00:42,108
Hiya, chicky baby.
734
01:00:43,778 --> 01:00:45,473
How's it going?
735
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,371
- Fine.
- Crazy.
736
01:00:48,583 --> 01:00:52,383
I thought I'd visit your little land
of learning. Cute. Cute pad.
737
01:00:53,121 --> 01:00:57,353
What happened to you last night?
What'd you run away like that for?
738
01:00:57,558 --> 01:00:59,958
I thought you saw a ghost
or something.
739
01:01:00,261 --> 01:01:02,388
Oh, yeah. How about that?
740
01:01:02,597 --> 01:01:05,532
Well, that's why I stopped by.
I thought I'd lay it on you,
741
01:01:05,733 --> 01:01:08,463
but this ain't the place to talk.
742
01:01:09,570 --> 01:01:11,834
What do you say we meet later
at The Purple Pit?
743
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:16,101
- We could talk better there, huh?
- Well, I don't know.
744
01:01:16,311 --> 01:01:18,541
You're pretty weird, you know,
and I don't want...
745
01:01:18,746 --> 01:01:20,805
- Ten o'clock?
- Perfect.
746
01:01:21,182 --> 01:01:22,547
Figures.
747
01:01:24,385 --> 01:01:26,353
Hey, honey, you look a little drawn.
748
01:01:27,955 --> 01:01:32,654
Did you find it a little difficult going
all this time without seeing me?
749
01:01:35,663 --> 01:01:37,187
Don't fight it.
750
01:01:37,665 --> 01:01:39,690
Look, I don't wanna
hang you up, honey.
751
01:01:39,901 --> 01:01:44,031
I see you're doing
your little test here.
752
01:01:45,306 --> 01:01:49,072
But don't worry about it, beautiful.
Science will do fine without you.
753
01:01:49,444 --> 01:01:51,708
But man needs you the most.
754
01:01:51,913 --> 01:01:54,108
This man. Come here.
755
01:01:55,683 --> 01:01:57,310
That's good for you.
756
01:01:58,353 --> 01:02:00,947
If you want more, call for refills.
757
01:02:01,356 --> 01:02:02,755
Later.
758
01:02:04,892 --> 01:02:06,450
Write nice.
759
01:02:45,767 --> 01:02:48,235
I just told you what time it is.
It's still 11:15.
760
01:02:48,436 --> 01:02:53,396
- Yeah, I know.
- OK, kids! You can all relax!
761
01:02:54,942 --> 01:02:57,308
Watch where you're going, Mac.
762
01:02:59,013 --> 01:03:02,505
Now that your desperate attempt
at having a good time's flunked,
763
01:03:02,717 --> 01:03:05,982
have no fear, Buddy's here.
764
01:03:06,621 --> 01:03:08,919
Let the good times roll.
765
01:03:09,524 --> 01:03:11,219
Hiya, baby!
766
01:03:11,993 --> 01:03:13,620
There's my date!
767
01:03:14,195 --> 01:03:17,221
That sharp-looking chick's my date.
768
01:03:45,593 --> 01:03:49,393
Here you are, baby.
Your prize package has arrived.
769
01:03:50,798 --> 01:03:52,356
Hello, stale ones.
770
01:03:52,567 --> 01:03:55,161
- You're pretty late, Mr. Love.
- Hold it.
771
01:03:55,369 --> 01:03:57,564
Hold it, baby.
You got it a little mixed-up.
772
01:03:57,772 --> 01:03:59,933
You're just way too early, that's all.
773
01:04:00,141 --> 01:04:02,541
Now, be a nice girl
and plant one over there.
774
01:04:02,743 --> 01:04:06,270
You'll feel better. Come on, honey.
Best things in life are free.
775
01:04:06,481 --> 01:04:08,574
Now, you'll have to admit
you got one of the best things.
776
01:04:08,783 --> 01:04:12,241
- Go ahead, lay it on me.
- You are impossible.
777
01:04:12,453 --> 01:04:15,183
Yeah, well, have some impossible.
Come on.
778
01:04:20,895 --> 01:04:22,419
See?
779
01:04:23,130 --> 01:04:24,995
Wasn't that worth waiting for?
780
01:04:29,237 --> 01:04:33,571
Now, you gotta admit that I'm not one
of the run-of-the-mill-type creeps
781
01:04:33,774 --> 01:04:36,299
that hang around this joint, right?
782
01:04:36,511 --> 01:04:38,911
You got a good thing. Don't louse it up.
783
01:04:39,113 --> 01:04:43,447
Isn't it enough that you got
the swingingest and the best?
784
01:04:43,651 --> 01:04:46,916
You want me to be on time too?
785
01:04:48,089 --> 01:04:51,456
- OK. OK, you win.
- Naturally.
786
01:04:54,028 --> 01:04:57,327
Would you please be good enough
to tell me why you ran away last night
787
01:04:57,532 --> 01:05:01,866
- and left me just sitting there?
- Hey, hey, hey, don't get all riled up.
788
01:05:02,069 --> 01:05:04,094
Cool it, cool it.
789
01:05:05,373 --> 01:05:08,570
I don't want to get into no discussions
on an empty stomach anyhow.
790
01:05:08,776 --> 01:05:10,641
This is flat.
791
01:05:12,513 --> 01:05:14,447
Vampira!
792
01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:16,776
Bring your kit.
793
01:05:21,188 --> 01:05:22,712
You rang?
794
01:05:22,924 --> 01:05:26,189
Hey, you don't sound exactly
too thrilled to serve the leader.
795
01:05:26,394 --> 01:05:31,229
Oh, on the contrary, I find it a rare
privilege to serve His Royal Lowest.
796
01:05:31,432 --> 01:05:34,560
Hey, you're cute.
Like a black widow spider.
797
01:05:34,769 --> 01:05:37,237
Shut your mouth
and just take the order, lady.
798
01:05:37,438 --> 01:05:41,670
I've decided that I shall not continue
the flight with the fuel I got.
799
01:05:42,043 --> 01:05:45,706
So give me a boilermaker,
and heavy on the boil.
800
01:05:46,614 --> 01:05:50,778
Go on, go on, go on. Come on,
come on, I haven't got all night.
801
01:05:54,989 --> 01:05:56,718
She's crazy about me also.
802
01:05:58,059 --> 01:06:00,721
Now, Lost Weekend Jr.,
803
01:06:00,962 --> 01:06:02,827
you've ordered your drink.
804
01:06:03,331 --> 01:06:06,562
About last night. Would you
like to explain what happened?
805
01:06:06,767 --> 01:06:09,531
I told you I was gonna tell you. It's...
806
01:06:10,605 --> 01:06:13,165
Why don't we kind of table it a while,
sweetie, huh?
807
01:06:13,374 --> 01:06:16,639
I mean, all the kids,
they're kind of waiting, you know.
808
01:06:16,844 --> 01:06:20,302
It's Dullsville out. I'll be back.
You take five.
809
01:06:20,514 --> 01:06:22,778
And I love you, baby.
Mean it sincerely.
810
01:06:22,984 --> 01:06:24,849
You wait for me, huh?
811
01:06:25,786 --> 01:06:29,347
Oh, there you are, sweets.
Thanks a lot.
812
01:06:37,898 --> 01:06:39,866
Sickening, isn't he?
813
01:06:42,003 --> 01:06:44,130
But he's got something.
814
01:06:45,039 --> 01:06:48,304
And I mean to find out what it is.
815
01:06:49,910 --> 01:06:51,878
I think I'll do a...
816
01:06:53,514 --> 01:06:56,176
Do a tune that I'm gonna...
817
01:06:56,717 --> 01:06:59,982
...record for Poverty Records.
818
01:07:01,989 --> 01:07:03,889
That's the only ones that'd have me.
819
01:07:09,030 --> 01:07:12,158
I'm in the mood
820
01:07:14,068 --> 01:07:15,968
For love
821
01:07:17,271 --> 01:07:21,765
Simply... Simply because
822
01:07:23,344 --> 01:07:26,245
You're near me
823
01:07:27,248 --> 01:07:31,241
Fun... Fun... Funny
824
01:07:32,319 --> 01:07:35,345
But when you're near me
825
01:07:36,424 --> 01:07:39,791
I... I'm
826
01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:43,896
I'm in the mood for
827
01:07:45,566 --> 01:07:47,193
Love
828
01:07:55,276 --> 01:08:01,272
That's... I think that'll be it
for a while, kids, and...
829
01:08:03,584 --> 01:08:06,314
Later, Stella. Late...
830
01:08:10,424 --> 01:08:13,052
I feel like the girl
on her wedding night
831
01:08:13,461 --> 01:08:17,522
whose absent-minded husband goes
home to his mother for dinner.
832
01:08:32,446 --> 01:08:34,505
- Where is he?
- Where do you think he is?
833
01:08:34,715 --> 01:08:36,876
- What time is it?
- I think he's getting his watch fixed.
834
01:08:37,084 --> 01:08:39,951
- I hope nothing's happened to him.
- Think he had an accident?
835
01:08:40,154 --> 01:08:42,349
- Where is he?
- He's never been late.
836
01:08:42,556 --> 01:08:45,457
- 10-to-1 he doesn't show.
- Nothing's wrong.
837
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:53,822
The...
838
01:10:37,571 --> 01:10:40,631
Baby, down and down and down I go
839
01:10:40,841 --> 01:10:43,241
Round and round and round I go
840
01:10:43,444 --> 01:10:47,403
In a spinLoving the spin that I am in
841
01:10:48,048 --> 01:10:53,418
Under that old black magic calledOld black magic called
842
01:10:53,621 --> 01:10:58,581
Old black magic called love
843
01:10:58,792 --> 01:11:00,851
Love
844
01:11:01,428 --> 01:11:07,367
"One chemical,
having many individual parts,
845
01:11:09,036 --> 01:11:11,266
"can always be broken down."
846
01:11:11,705 --> 01:11:13,866
Broken down, always.
847
01:11:15,276 --> 01:11:19,736
"To such a degree,
that we never need to be in the dark
848
01:11:19,947 --> 01:11:23,348
"about the whys and wherefore
of their capacity."
849
01:11:23,550 --> 01:11:29,819
And to me, carbon dioxide
has always been a gas.
850
01:11:31,792 --> 01:11:33,419
No, I didn't mean... Yes.
851
01:11:33,627 --> 01:11:36,619
Actually, it kind of swings and...
852
01:11:52,746 --> 01:11:58,446
The formula needs to be stronger
to insure more time.
853
01:11:59,286 --> 01:12:01,982
Stronger. Insure more time.
854
01:13:02,483 --> 01:13:05,043
Tired. Tired.
855
01:13:05,953 --> 01:13:08,854
Yes, Dr. Warfield
appreciated it very much.
856
01:13:09,423 --> 01:13:12,153
- Hi, Millie. Can I go right in?
- What's the rush?
857
01:13:12,659 --> 01:13:16,993
The faculty, as always, is ready
to serve the needs of the student body.
858
01:13:17,197 --> 01:13:19,859
I'm terribly sorry I'm late,
Dr. Warfield.
859
01:13:20,067 --> 01:13:22,592
Any time, Miss Purdy. Any time at all.
860
01:13:23,404 --> 01:13:24,996
Thank you.
861
01:13:25,973 --> 01:13:29,909
Therefore, as I said,
the success or failure of the prom
862
01:13:30,110 --> 01:13:31,941
rests squarely
on the shoulders of you,
863
01:13:32,146 --> 01:13:34,808
the members of the
entertainment committee.
864
01:13:35,182 --> 01:13:38,879
Miss Lemmon, will you send in
the proposed list of the entertainers?
865
01:13:42,689 --> 01:13:47,683
Good, good. The Lightlighters,
wonderful. Love folk singers.
866
01:13:48,095 --> 01:13:53,032
The bluenose beetleLikes to needle all the people
867
01:13:55,235 --> 01:13:57,897
Who is this Wickern and Wett?
Is that the comedy team?
868
01:13:58,105 --> 01:13:59,595
Oh, good, good, perfect.
869
01:13:59,807 --> 01:14:01,502
My, I thought they'd split up.
870
01:14:02,176 --> 01:14:04,337
Who's this Buddy Love?
871
01:14:05,412 --> 01:14:06,845
What's a Buddy Love?
872
01:14:07,347 --> 01:14:10,714
He's a local boy. He's just terrific.
873
01:14:10,918 --> 01:14:13,512
- He's our new leader.
- Leader?
874
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:17,383
- He's, like, too much.
- Like too much what?
875
01:14:17,591 --> 01:14:21,027
He's one of the truly great swingers
of all time.
876
01:14:22,296 --> 01:14:24,662
Swingers. Swingers of all time. Oh...
877
01:14:25,799 --> 01:14:28,165
It seems that you students
know Mr. Love quite well.
878
01:14:28,368 --> 01:14:31,030
What about the members
of the faculty?
879
01:14:31,238 --> 01:14:34,435
- Anyone here familiar with Mr. Love?
- Oh, he's the greatest.
880
01:14:34,808 --> 01:14:36,275
Do you know Mr. Love?
881
01:14:36,743 --> 01:14:39,109
Oh, me? No...
882
01:14:39,313 --> 01:14:42,612
No, what I meant... Well, I heard
all of the other students, that's...
883
01:14:42,816 --> 01:14:45,546
Professor Kelp, I heard that myself.
884
01:14:45,752 --> 01:14:49,688
- Yes, you certainly...
- Anyone here know Mr. Love?
885
01:14:50,757 --> 01:14:54,818
Very well. In that case, I will have
to insist upon meeting him myself.
886
01:14:55,028 --> 01:14:58,156
Will one of you have him come
to my office this afternoon at 3:00?
887
01:14:58,365 --> 01:15:00,094
Dr. Warfield.
888
01:15:00,501 --> 01:15:04,460
Well, we don't exactly know
how to get in touch with Mr. Love.
889
01:15:04,671 --> 01:15:06,536
On such short notice, that is.
890
01:15:06,740 --> 01:15:09,038
What do you mean, you don't know
how to get in touch with him?
891
01:15:09,243 --> 01:15:11,905
Is he some kind of roving bum
or something?
892
01:15:12,112 --> 01:15:13,943
I've never heard of such a thing,
Miss Purdy.
893
01:15:14,148 --> 01:15:17,640
- Well, I might run into him tonight.
- That's not good enough.
894
01:15:17,851 --> 01:15:20,149
I want to see him today at 3:00.
895
01:15:21,555 --> 01:15:25,889
I beg your pardon, Dr. Warfield,
but I just might be able
896
01:15:26,093 --> 01:15:31,963
to see my way clear possibly
to contact this Mr. Love.
897
01:15:32,833 --> 01:15:35,563
Professor Kelp,
I don't care who contacts him.
898
01:15:35,769 --> 01:15:40,069
Just get him here by 3:00 today
or forget the whole thing.
899
01:15:40,507 --> 01:15:41,997
Meeting dismissed.
900
01:16:12,306 --> 01:16:14,433
- Where's your pad?
- Oh, it's only about a mile
901
01:16:14,641 --> 01:16:17,303
from the campus, and I have bought
the craziest new drapes...
902
01:16:17,511 --> 01:16:21,072
You mean my dictation pad, which
is in my office. I'm terribly sorry.
903
01:16:21,281 --> 01:16:24,011
- I'll get it immediately, sir.
- Never mind. What did you want?
904
01:16:24,585 --> 01:16:29,147
Mr. Love is waiting outside to see you,
and he's a gasser.
905
01:16:29,957 --> 01:16:31,982
I mean, shall I ask him
to come in, sir?
906
01:16:32,192 --> 01:16:35,093
If you can do so without fainting,
Miss Lemmon.
907
01:16:35,295 --> 01:16:36,853
Yes, sir.
908
01:16:53,714 --> 01:16:56,649
You gonna make that
your life's work, baby?
909
01:16:57,050 --> 01:16:58,642
Hey, here.
910
01:17:01,989 --> 01:17:03,581
Mr. Love?
911
01:17:04,124 --> 01:17:05,386
Buddy, to you.
912
01:17:05,592 --> 01:17:07,583
What's your moniker, kid?
What do they call you?
913
01:17:07,794 --> 01:17:11,594
Mortimer? Harvey? Norman?
Homer? Which is it?
914
01:17:11,999 --> 01:17:14,263
You may call me Dr. Warfield,
young man.
915
01:17:14,468 --> 01:17:18,234
OK, doc it is. What kind of doctor
are you, by the way, sweetie?
916
01:17:18,438 --> 01:17:20,235
Sawbones, is that the idea?
917
01:17:20,440 --> 01:17:23,534
Or a head shrinker?
I went to them once. You dig?
918
01:17:23,744 --> 01:17:26,008
Head shrinker. He told me
I had a dual personality, you know.
919
01:17:26,213 --> 01:17:28,272
Split, schizo and all that jazz.
920
01:17:28,482 --> 01:17:31,474
Then he lays an $82 tab on me.
So I gave him 41 bucks,
921
01:17:31,685 --> 01:17:33,550
and I said get the other 41
from the other guy.
922
01:17:38,025 --> 01:17:41,153
- What's eating you?
- Mr. Love...
923
01:17:41,762 --> 01:17:46,790
...I sent for you in regard
to the senior prom.
924
01:17:47,334 --> 01:17:50,326
However, after seeing you,
might I remind you that my door...
925
01:17:50,537 --> 01:17:52,630
Would you think I was terribly rude
926
01:17:52,839 --> 01:17:56,070
if I were to ask you
the name of your tailor?
927
01:17:57,477 --> 01:18:00,241
That's wild. Absolutely gorgeous.
928
01:18:01,148 --> 01:18:03,048
- Oh, you mean this?
- Just beautiful.
929
01:18:03,250 --> 01:18:06,549
Oh, well, it's... Actually,
it's just a ready-made suit.
930
01:18:06,753 --> 01:18:08,015
Oh, you're kidding. Not that.
931
01:18:08,221 --> 01:18:13,386
Well, it's sort of a handmade-to-order
ready-made suit off the rack.
932
01:18:13,593 --> 01:18:16,391
Just magnificent. I think you're
modest. Is that the picture, sweetie?
933
01:18:16,596 --> 01:18:18,530
Little modest?
You just got the perfect physique,
934
01:18:18,732 --> 01:18:21,565
and anything you put on swings, right?
You look great in?
935
01:18:21,768 --> 01:18:23,633
Did you ever think about going
into show business?
936
01:18:23,837 --> 01:18:25,668
- Well, I did do a few plays in school...
- Nutty.
937
01:18:25,872 --> 01:18:29,069
Nutty. Girls backstage mob you,
swamp you, is that the picture?
938
01:18:29,276 --> 01:18:30,675
Stay right there a second,
don't move.
939
01:18:30,877 --> 01:18:33,971
- You might say that in my time, I...
- Oh, I'm sorry about that, doc.
940
01:18:34,181 --> 01:18:35,409
- You all right?
- Yes.
941
01:18:35,615 --> 01:18:38,175
Did you really, really do a job
in show business?
942
01:18:38,385 --> 01:18:40,717
Anyone ever tell you you got
a Cary Grant-ish kind of look?
943
01:18:40,921 --> 01:18:42,684
- Really? Well, I...
- Did you ever see him walk
944
01:18:42,889 --> 01:18:45,449
towards a gal in a picture like that?
Try that walk. Let me see, doc.
945
01:18:45,659 --> 01:18:48,924
I'm just curious. Just walk to me
like Cary Grant. Beautiful.
946
01:18:49,129 --> 01:18:51,723
Just beautiful. You sure you're doing
the right thing working here?
947
01:18:51,932 --> 01:18:53,524
Show business.
What did you do, Shakespeare?
948
01:18:53,734 --> 01:18:55,998
- I did Hamlet one time.
- I knew it. Hamlet. Would you do it?
949
01:18:56,203 --> 01:18:58,501
- Only once. It's been so long.
- Would you stand right there?
950
01:18:58,705 --> 01:19:00,502
- Would you do it for me, doctor?
- Well, if...
951
01:19:00,707 --> 01:19:04,803
Come on, baby, lay it on me.
It's gotta be wild. Go ahead.
952
01:19:05,379 --> 01:19:09,145
- Let's see. To be...
- Hold it. Do it right. Do it right.
953
01:19:09,349 --> 01:19:11,112
- Right?
- Get up on the stage. Let me sit here.
954
01:19:11,318 --> 01:19:13,343
- Let me be your audience.
- Really, the faculty may...
955
01:19:13,553 --> 01:19:15,919
Come on, you know it's the best thing
in the world for you.
956
01:19:16,123 --> 01:19:17,988
- Get up there and perform.
- Well, if you insist.
957
01:19:18,191 --> 01:19:20,819
- Let it out. Let it all out.
- To be or not to be...
958
01:19:21,027 --> 01:19:24,622
Hold it a second. Hold it. Let's make it
a stage. Let's make it right.
959
01:19:24,831 --> 01:19:27,197
Hold it one second, doc.
You're gonna be beautiful.
960
01:19:27,401 --> 01:19:29,096
- All right.
- Just beautiful. Go ahead.
961
01:19:29,302 --> 01:19:30,769
- There we are.
- Lay it on me.
962
01:19:30,971 --> 01:19:32,802
- Am I in the light?
- That's beautiful. Go ahead.
963
01:19:33,006 --> 01:19:35,474
- To be or not to be...
- Hold it a second. Hold it. Do it right.
964
01:19:35,675 --> 01:19:37,802
Be in show business. Hamlet, right?
965
01:19:38,011 --> 01:19:42,448
You gotta play it all the way. Hamlet,
be... Here, put it on. This is... Put it on.
966
01:19:42,649 --> 01:19:45,345
- It's gonna make you feel beautiful.
- Oh, I feel it already, yes.
967
01:19:45,552 --> 01:19:48,248
You'll play Shakespeare
like it's never been played.
968
01:19:48,455 --> 01:19:49,683
- Go on.
- It's a difference.
969
01:19:49,890 --> 01:19:51,858
Let it out and enjoy it.
970
01:19:53,760 --> 01:19:55,728
- To be, or not to be...
- Hold it a second. Do it right.
971
01:19:55,929 --> 01:20:00,366
Hamlet, right? A prince? You've gotta
go all the way. With a sword.
972
01:20:00,567 --> 01:20:02,694
- You dig Hamlet. Do it. You'll enjoy it.
- All right.
973
01:20:02,903 --> 01:20:05,235
- It's beautiful. You're doing beautifully.
- Fine, thank you.
974
01:20:05,439 --> 01:20:08,067
You've wasted all your life
with this school jazz. Go ahead.
975
01:20:08,275 --> 01:20:10,641
- I have often thought of chucking it all.
- Go ahead. Do it.
976
01:20:10,844 --> 01:20:13,108
- To be, or not to be...
- Hold it one second. Hold it.
977
01:20:13,313 --> 01:20:15,645
- Royalty is one thing. A crown.
- Now, just a minute.
978
01:20:15,849 --> 01:20:19,649
Do it right. Hamlet. Do it right.
Have the crown.
979
01:20:19,853 --> 01:20:23,550
- Well, that's my hat.
- Be Hamlet. Be it the way it should be.
980
01:20:23,757 --> 01:20:25,816
There you are. You've got the crown.
981
01:20:26,026 --> 01:20:30,395
- Now I think I have it.
- Do Hamlet and really let it out.
982
01:20:30,597 --> 01:20:35,432
- You're beautiful.
- To be, or not to be:
983
01:20:35,635 --> 01:20:37,102
that is the question:
984
01:20:37,304 --> 01:20:42,037
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows
985
01:20:42,242 --> 01:20:45,177
- of outrageous fortune...
- Oh, beautiful, doctor.
986
01:20:45,378 --> 01:20:47,346
- I'm not through, I...
- Doctor, you choke me.
987
01:20:47,547 --> 01:20:49,674
- Wait, wait, I'm not...
- You choke me. It was gorgeous.
988
01:20:49,883 --> 01:20:52,113
The prettiest thing I've ever seen
in my life.
989
01:20:52,319 --> 01:20:54,014
- I'm not through.
- See you at the prom, doc?
990
01:20:54,221 --> 01:20:56,018
- At the prom, yes.
- Behind the footlights, doc?
991
01:20:56,223 --> 01:20:57,815
We'll have you there
behind those lights.
992
01:20:58,024 --> 01:21:00,185
- I knew it, baby. Enjoy!
- And carry on
993
01:21:00,393 --> 01:21:02,759
- the great tradition of the theater.
- Enjoy, you're beautiful.
994
01:21:02,963 --> 01:21:04,521
- Thank you.
- Practice that Shakespeare.
995
01:21:04,731 --> 01:21:06,392
At the prom, Mr. Love!
996
01:21:09,236 --> 01:21:14,230
To be, or not to be:
that is the question...
997
01:21:15,876 --> 01:21:19,334
Dear Mr. Love: Looking forwardto your appearance at the prom.
998
01:21:19,546 --> 01:21:21,377
Here's to show biz.
999
01:21:29,055 --> 01:21:33,492
You are to be a chaperonat the senior prom. This is a must!
1000
01:21:41,768 --> 01:21:44,601
Jennifer. What am I to do, Jennifer?
1001
01:21:44,804 --> 01:21:47,466
Have you ever thought
of taking poison?
1002
01:21:47,841 --> 01:21:50,309
Julius taking poison.
1003
01:24:18,324 --> 01:24:20,053
Hi, doctor.
1004
01:24:21,428 --> 01:24:23,953
- Kelp.
- Yes, sir.
1005
01:24:24,330 --> 01:24:26,127
Do you mind?
1006
01:24:26,332 --> 01:24:28,459
Oh, not at all.
Do you lead, Dr. Warfield?
1007
01:24:28,668 --> 01:24:31,102
Oh, I am sorry, I did misunderstand.
1008
01:24:31,304 --> 01:24:33,932
I get terribly carried away,
what with the music.
1009
01:24:34,140 --> 01:24:37,200
It was a toe-tapper. I must admit that.
1010
01:24:37,410 --> 01:24:41,005
It's very rare that you do hear
instrumentation these days, you know,
1011
01:24:41,214 --> 01:24:42,806
what with the folk singers
and all of those.
1012
01:24:43,016 --> 01:24:45,951
Would you care for some refreshment,
Miss Lemmon?
1013
01:24:46,152 --> 01:24:49,553
Oh, why, thank you, sir.
I think I would, but let me go.
1014
01:24:49,756 --> 01:24:51,451
I mean, you really don't have
to bother at all.
1015
01:24:51,658 --> 01:24:54,855
Oh, there's no bother.
It will be my pleasure.
1016
01:24:55,395 --> 01:24:57,955
- Kelp.
- Yes, I'll have a lemonade too.
1017
01:24:59,165 --> 01:25:01,156
Kelp, will you please get us
two lemonades?
1018
01:25:01,367 --> 01:25:06,270
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, doctor.
I was, again, just so terribly distressed
1019
01:25:06,473 --> 01:25:10,102
at that wonderful toe-tapper.
Well, zip, and I'm gone.
1020
01:25:33,433 --> 01:25:34,991
Hi, professor.
1021
01:25:35,201 --> 01:25:37,328
- Oh, Stell.
- Stell?
1022
01:25:37,537 --> 01:25:40,904
That is, Miss Purdy. I'm sorry.
How are you?
1023
01:25:41,107 --> 01:25:44,941
Are you having a good time, dear?
1024
01:25:45,145 --> 01:25:48,979
I'm having a good time,
but I'd have a much better time
1025
01:25:49,182 --> 01:25:51,377
if somebody would ask me to dance.
1026
01:26:03,029 --> 01:26:05,589
What's the matter, professor,
cat got your tongue?
1027
01:26:05,799 --> 01:26:10,202
Oh, no, the punch bowl has my arm.
1028
01:26:11,538 --> 01:26:14,098
- I didn't realize I...
- Here, let me help you.
1029
01:26:14,307 --> 01:26:17,504
Thank you. I guess I'm
just accident-prone.
1030
01:26:18,845 --> 01:26:21,643
- Don't worry about it, professor.
- No, I won't worry about it.
1031
01:26:21,848 --> 01:26:23,713
Come on, let's dance.
1032
01:26:23,917 --> 01:26:27,546
Oh, yes, all right.
Well, let me leave the... Yes.
1033
01:26:28,121 --> 01:26:30,749
Dancing sounds like a splendid idea.
1034
01:27:00,987 --> 01:27:03,285
I believe I neglected to mention,
Miss Purdy,
1035
01:27:03,489 --> 01:27:05,548
you're looking very beautiful
this evening.
1036
01:27:05,758 --> 01:27:08,750
You must be looking forward to seeing
your Buddy Love tonight.
1037
01:27:08,962 --> 01:27:10,452
How did you know that?
1038
01:27:10,663 --> 01:27:13,632
Oh, well, everyone knows
that he's going to appear here tonight.
1039
01:27:13,833 --> 01:27:15,357
Oh, here.
1040
01:27:16,836 --> 01:27:19,168
I guess I'm looking forward
to seeing him.
1041
01:27:19,739 --> 01:27:22,537
But I can't for the life of me
figure out why.
1042
01:27:23,910 --> 01:27:27,744
Well, he is quite good-looking,
is he not?
1043
01:27:28,181 --> 01:27:32,140
Oh, yes, he is.
But that means nothing to me.
1044
01:27:33,319 --> 01:27:39,690
Well, he... I'm told he is a young man
with a very nice personality.
1045
01:27:41,427 --> 01:27:42,985
On the contrary.
1046
01:27:43,830 --> 01:27:48,358
He's rude, disrespectful,
self-centered and discourteous.
1047
01:27:48,568 --> 01:27:51,093
Well, then it's not
his nice personality?
1048
01:27:51,304 --> 01:27:52,794
Hardly.
1049
01:27:53,273 --> 01:27:55,833
Well, I'm told that he's
quite talented, though.
1050
01:27:56,376 --> 01:27:58,469
Oh, yes, he's very talented.
1051
01:27:58,678 --> 01:28:01,408
But talent comes in many forms.
1052
01:28:02,248 --> 01:28:06,014
I believe intelligence is
a greater talent than anything.
1053
01:28:06,552 --> 01:28:09,077
If Buddy has any real intelligence,
1054
01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:12,452
he has a fantastic talent
for keeping it hidden.
1055
01:28:13,760 --> 01:28:16,661
I see. Well, then evidently,
Miss Purdy,
1056
01:28:16,863 --> 01:28:18,990
whatever it is that you see
in this young man,
1057
01:28:19,198 --> 01:28:22,292
it must be very well-buried.
1058
01:28:23,970 --> 01:28:25,835
I think you're getting warm.
1059
01:28:26,039 --> 01:28:30,066
Well, then perhaps,
and it's just a possibility,
1060
01:28:30,476 --> 01:28:34,139
he chooses to keep
the inner man locked up
1061
01:28:34,347 --> 01:28:36,178
so that no one steps on him.
1062
01:28:37,450 --> 01:28:40,851
Oh, but he should know
I don't want to step on him.
1063
01:28:41,754 --> 01:28:44,552
And maybe someday
I'll get to prove it to him.
1064
01:28:45,191 --> 01:28:50,026
If he ever unlocks that inner man
and lets him loose
1065
01:28:50,229 --> 01:28:53,221
so that I can grab him and hold him.
1066
01:28:53,433 --> 01:28:55,628
- I'd appreciate it.
- What?
1067
01:28:55,835 --> 01:28:59,168
That... What I meant was,
that's very nice.
1068
01:29:13,853 --> 01:29:15,377
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
1069
01:29:15,588 --> 01:29:17,954
Now it's showtime. If you'll all gather
around the bandstand,
1070
01:29:18,157 --> 01:29:19,920
we'll get the show on the road.
1071
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:23,290
Before we go on, I'd like to have you
meet some of the specialists
1072
01:29:23,496 --> 01:29:26,021
who've been with our band for many
years. It's Butch Stone up there.
1073
01:29:26,232 --> 01:29:27,961
You remember Butch, don't you?
1074
01:29:30,937 --> 01:29:32,905
And my kid brother, Stumpy Brown.
1075
01:29:33,106 --> 01:29:34,767
Stumpy not only plays
the bass trombone,
1076
01:29:34,974 --> 01:29:37,875
but also the tuba and sings a little.
And of course, Butch Stone is known
1077
01:29:38,077 --> 01:29:40,307
for that "Good Man Is Hard to Find".
1078
01:29:40,880 --> 01:29:44,441
We have a great show lined up for
you, a few surprises, including...
1079
01:29:44,650 --> 01:29:46,743
Why do men keep running
away from me?
1080
01:29:46,953 --> 01:29:48,716
Now let's get on with the show.
1081
01:30:11,110 --> 01:30:12,543
The formula.
1082
01:30:16,849 --> 01:30:18,908
- Jennifer!
- Hi there.
1083
01:30:19,118 --> 01:30:20,642
Jennifer!
1084
01:30:29,529 --> 01:30:31,121
My formula.
1085
01:30:35,301 --> 01:30:36,495
The formula.
1086
01:30:37,437 --> 01:30:38,768
Jennifer.
1087
01:30:38,971 --> 01:30:41,963
You've eaten all of my formula.
1088
01:30:43,209 --> 01:30:44,403
Excuse me.
1089
01:30:44,744 --> 01:30:47,645
Oh, shut up, you stupid bird.
1090
01:30:47,847 --> 01:30:50,748
Then I can't suggest
you call your mother and father
1091
01:30:50,950 --> 01:30:54,283
and get them to read you the formula
from the copy you sent.
1092
01:30:54,487 --> 01:30:57,354
- Can't suggest.
- Oh, what a wonderful bird.
1093
01:30:57,557 --> 01:30:59,388
Where's the? Where's the phone?
1094
01:31:02,728 --> 01:31:04,992
Long distance would be area code...
1095
01:31:05,198 --> 01:31:07,189
Oh, yes, the area code.
1096
01:31:07,400 --> 01:31:11,928
That's a splen... Splen...
Splendid idea, Jennifer.
1097
01:31:16,109 --> 01:31:17,633
Hello, Father.
1098
01:31:17,844 --> 01:31:19,505
Hello.
1099
01:31:19,712 --> 01:31:21,839
I say, hello, Father.
1100
01:31:22,048 --> 01:31:24,346
This is Julius. Yeah, I...
1101
01:31:24,550 --> 01:31:25,710
Julius.
1102
01:31:25,918 --> 01:31:27,351
J... Yes, your son.
1103
01:31:27,553 --> 01:31:31,887
I just... Would you be
good enough, Dad,
1104
01:31:32,091 --> 01:31:36,391
to open the formula for me and read
it to me so that I can mark it down?
1105
01:31:36,596 --> 01:31:39,997
Yes, I certainly...
Actually, I'd apprec... Yes.
1106
01:31:47,106 --> 01:31:50,166
Just gonna have to be enough,
that's all.
1107
01:32:22,942 --> 01:32:24,637
Where can he be?
1108
01:32:24,844 --> 01:32:27,312
I hope nothing's happened
to prevent his getting here.
1109
01:32:27,513 --> 01:32:30,505
Well, he'd better get here,
or there'll be a riot.
1110
01:32:43,729 --> 01:32:47,062
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1111
01:32:47,266 --> 01:32:49,791
Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing the next performer
1112
01:32:50,002 --> 01:32:52,937
is actually one of the easiest chores
I've ever had.
1113
01:32:53,139 --> 01:32:56,666
Well, simply because this card
I'm holding is the announcement
1114
01:32:56,876 --> 01:33:00,277
that the performer wants read
exactly as written.
1115
01:33:00,880 --> 01:33:02,677
That makes it easy.
1116
01:33:03,216 --> 01:33:08,051
"Ladies and gentlemen, presenting
the world's greatest everything.
1117
01:33:08,688 --> 01:33:11,680
"The best dressed,
the swingingest performer
1118
01:33:11,891 --> 01:33:15,884
"and one of the nicest guys
in the whole world.
1119
01:33:16,262 --> 01:33:20,596
"Here he is, the 1963 senior prom's
answer to Don Juan,
1120
01:33:20,800 --> 01:33:22,700
"Mr. Buddy Love."
1121
01:33:52,665 --> 01:33:55,964
Up at dawnin'Sleepy and yawnin'
1122
01:33:56,168 --> 01:33:59,331
Still the taste of wine
1123
01:34:00,072 --> 01:34:03,473
Then I remember you're mine and
1124
01:34:03,676 --> 01:34:06,839
I've got a world that's fine
1125
01:34:07,847 --> 01:34:11,078
What's before meRoutines that bore me
1126
01:34:11,284 --> 01:34:13,775
Punch the clock at 8
1127
01:34:15,288 --> 01:34:18,655
But what a lucky guy I am
1128
01:34:18,858 --> 01:34:22,225
I've got a world that's great
1129
01:34:22,928 --> 01:34:25,055
Atom bombs
1130
01:34:25,264 --> 01:34:28,825
Cape Canaveral and false alarms
1131
01:34:29,035 --> 01:34:32,562
Half the universe is up in arms
1132
01:34:32,772 --> 01:34:38,108
So I flip a little tooUntil I'm holding you
1133
01:34:38,311 --> 01:34:41,576
What's the hassleI'll buy the castle
1134
01:34:41,781 --> 01:34:45,308
We can live like kings
1135
01:34:45,651 --> 01:34:49,143
If we're together forever
1136
01:34:49,355 --> 01:34:51,016
I've got a world that
1137
01:34:51,223 --> 01:34:53,054
You've got a world that
1138
01:34:53,259 --> 01:34:56,786
We've got a world that swings
1139
01:34:57,763 --> 01:35:01,130
I'd like to take you throughThis wild, wonderful venture
1140
01:35:01,334 --> 01:35:05,202
Fly like a kite through spaceNo strings
1141
01:35:05,404 --> 01:35:09,272
I don't wanna loseThat bell that rings
1142
01:35:09,475 --> 01:35:11,375
I've got a world that
1143
01:35:11,577 --> 01:35:13,442
You've got a world that
1144
01:35:13,646 --> 01:35:15,944
We've
1145
01:35:16,148 --> 01:35:21,176
Got a world that swings
1146
01:35:21,687 --> 01:35:25,817
We've got a world that swings.
1147
01:35:43,709 --> 01:35:45,700
You're very wise.
1148
01:35:47,446 --> 01:35:50,847
Now, if you'll just hold it a second,
I'll thrill you some more.
1149
01:35:51,050 --> 01:35:52,347
I'd like to do a tune for you
1150
01:35:52,551 --> 01:35:55,884
that's been a favorite of the gang
down at The...
1151
01:35:56,088 --> 01:35:59,615
...you should pardon the expression,
Dr. Warfield, Purple Pit.
1152
01:36:03,529 --> 01:36:04,496
You dig?
1153
01:36:04,697 --> 01:36:08,394
It's that old standard, "Black Magic".
1154
01:36:19,445 --> 01:36:21,777
That old...
1155
01:36:49,508 --> 01:36:52,170
That old...
1156
01:37:02,788 --> 01:37:04,483
I...
1157
01:37:08,727 --> 01:37:12,925
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm not usually at a...
1158
01:37:14,733 --> 01:37:19,363
I'm not usually at a loss for words...
1159
01:37:19,972 --> 01:37:22,270
...but if you just...
1160
01:37:23,476 --> 01:37:27,276
...bear with me a moment,
I think I might be able to explain.
1161
01:37:30,950 --> 01:37:34,784
It happened some time ago.
1162
01:37:34,987 --> 01:37:37,547
Being a scientist...
1163
01:37:38,023 --> 01:37:41,049
...I just happened
to have stumbled on...
1164
01:37:41,527 --> 01:37:45,827
...one of the curious mysteries
of science.
1165
01:37:46,866 --> 01:37:49,334
I found myself...
1166
01:37:49,835 --> 01:37:52,269
...so curious that I was...
1167
01:37:53,372 --> 01:37:55,363
...unable to...
1168
01:37:55,574 --> 01:37:56,905
...just stop.
1169
01:37:57,109 --> 01:37:58,736
Nonetheless...
1170
01:38:00,012 --> 01:38:03,846
...I never really knew
what was going to prevail.
1171
01:38:05,384 --> 01:38:07,978
I do know now that I...
1172
01:38:08,187 --> 01:38:10,121
...should have left it alone.
1173
01:38:11,156 --> 01:38:12,350
Actually.
1174
01:38:13,292 --> 01:38:14,987
But...
1175
01:38:16,729 --> 01:38:19,493
...it is a very, very hard thing to do.
1176
01:38:23,035 --> 01:38:25,128
Particularly when you...
1177
01:38:25,337 --> 01:38:28,101
...found that you've been able
to do something...
1178
01:38:28,374 --> 01:38:32,003
...that so many others failed to do.
1179
01:38:33,913 --> 01:38:35,175
Therefore...
1180
01:38:42,621 --> 01:38:45,146
Actually, I...
1181
01:38:45,491 --> 01:38:51,259
I have no real defense
for my actions other than
1182
01:38:51,764 --> 01:38:56,167
I had no control over
what I said or did as...
1183
01:38:56,702 --> 01:38:58,294
...Buddy Love.
1184
01:39:17,356 --> 01:39:19,688
I can only say...
1185
01:39:23,629 --> 01:39:25,756
I... I hope...
1186
01:39:26,265 --> 01:39:28,665
I hope I haven't hurt anyone...
1187
01:39:28,867 --> 01:39:30,494
Hurt anyone.
1188
01:39:32,605 --> 01:39:34,129
I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
1189
01:39:34,340 --> 01:39:36,865
And I didn't mean to do...
1190
01:39:37,743 --> 01:39:41,440
...anything that wasn't of a kind nature.
1191
01:39:45,985 --> 01:39:49,284
Learning a lesson in life is...
1192
01:39:50,155 --> 01:39:52,146
Is never...
1193
01:39:53,425 --> 01:39:55,655
It's never really too late.
1194
01:39:58,564 --> 01:40:01,294
And I think that the...
1195
01:40:02,301 --> 01:40:05,532
The lesson that I learned
came just in time.
1196
01:40:09,775 --> 01:40:12,141
I don't want to...
1197
01:40:12,911 --> 01:40:15,812
I don't want to be something
that I'm not.
1198
01:40:16,682 --> 01:40:19,116
I didn't like being someone else.
1199
01:40:20,719 --> 01:40:23,517
At the same time, I'm very glad I was.
1200
01:40:25,958 --> 01:40:29,018
Because I found out something
that I never knew.
1201
01:40:34,566 --> 01:40:37,160
You might as well like yourself.
1202
01:40:39,772 --> 01:40:43,230
Just think about all the time
you're gonna have to spend with you.
1203
01:40:44,043 --> 01:40:45,635
And...
1204
01:40:48,447 --> 01:40:49,880
Well...
1205
01:40:54,720 --> 01:40:56,278
...if you don't think too much
of yourself,
1206
01:40:56,488 --> 01:40:58,183
how do you expect others to?
1207
01:40:58,390 --> 01:40:59,914
That's what I found out.
1208
01:41:19,845 --> 01:41:21,745
Dr. Warfield.
1209
01:41:21,947 --> 01:41:24,609
I'm very sorry and...
1210
01:41:26,085 --> 01:41:29,248
...I like it here at the university
very much.
1211
01:41:29,455 --> 01:41:31,389
I hope that...
1212
01:41:32,524 --> 01:41:34,890
I hope that after you hear the facts,
1213
01:41:35,094 --> 01:41:37,961
you won't think
too terribly wrong of me.
1214
01:41:38,964 --> 01:41:41,762
Because I love everybody here,
and I...
1215
01:41:42,668 --> 01:41:47,196
I wouldn't really like to leave, actually.
1216
01:42:31,917 --> 01:42:34,818
Can I be of any assistance, professor?
1217
01:42:38,190 --> 01:42:39,680
Oh.
1218
01:42:41,560 --> 01:42:44,654
No, thank you very much. I'll...
1219
01:42:45,097 --> 01:42:49,966
I'll have to just try and work this out
myself, thank you.
1220
01:42:51,470 --> 01:42:52,960
Well, there's...
1221
01:42:53,505 --> 01:42:57,669
...really nothing to work out,
professor, other than
1222
01:42:58,277 --> 01:43:00,370
to understand that
1223
01:43:00,579 --> 01:43:03,377
just being one person is
1224
01:43:03,649 --> 01:43:08,052
more than enough
for any human being to handle.
1225
01:43:09,621 --> 01:43:11,680
You mean that?
1226
01:43:12,691 --> 01:43:14,459
Well, you have to understand that...
1227
01:43:14,459 --> 01:43:14,823
Well, you have to understand that...
1228
01:43:17,596 --> 01:43:20,121
I'm only trying to say that
1229
01:43:20,799 --> 01:43:24,496
I wouldn't ever wanna spend the rest
of my life with anyone like Buddy.
1230
01:43:24,903 --> 01:43:26,200
But...
1231
01:43:27,272 --> 01:43:32,141
...being the wife of a professor
would be much more normal and...
1232
01:43:33,679 --> 01:43:35,579
...much happier.
1233
01:43:40,452 --> 01:43:42,545
Oh, Stella.
1234
01:43:43,822 --> 01:43:45,483
You see, I...
1235
01:43:45,691 --> 01:43:49,627
I told you I'm accident-prone.
1236
01:44:09,214 --> 01:44:11,011
That's actu...
1237
01:44:12,150 --> 01:44:17,144
"The psychological properties
of visual quality and quantity
1238
01:44:17,356 --> 01:44:23,352
can be represented conveniently
by a three-dimensional diagram."
1239
01:44:23,562 --> 01:44:26,053
Three-dimensional diagram. Right.
1240
01:44:26,899 --> 01:44:27,866
Oddly enough...
1241
01:44:28,066 --> 01:44:31,661
Thanks, sonny! Thanks for telling us
where our kid works.
1242
01:44:31,870 --> 01:44:33,303
Not so loud, Elmer, dear.
1243
01:44:33,505 --> 01:44:35,564
Loud! Who the devil's loud?
1244
01:44:41,079 --> 01:44:42,410
Mush. Mush, mush, mush.
1245
01:44:42,614 --> 01:44:44,309
Back up there, yeah.
1246
01:44:44,516 --> 01:44:46,848
Hi, class, how are you?
1247
01:44:47,185 --> 01:44:48,709
Couldn't be much.
1248
01:44:51,523 --> 01:44:54,151
Well, well.
1249
01:44:55,494 --> 01:44:59,828
If it isn't the square bookworm
we laughingly refer to as our son.
1250
01:45:02,100 --> 01:45:05,228
Here. Here you are, square bookworm.
Have a cigar.
1251
01:45:05,437 --> 01:45:08,372
Go ahead. Go on. Pure Havana,
straight from Havana.
1252
01:45:08,573 --> 01:45:09,631
Yeah.
1253
01:45:09,841 --> 01:45:12,435
It cost us $6,000,000 ransom.
1254
01:45:13,712 --> 01:45:15,373
Pretty good, huh?
1255
01:45:15,914 --> 01:45:17,438
Good to see you again, Julius.
1256
01:45:17,649 --> 01:45:21,449
Hey, hey! Mush and hush, mouth.
Mouth, hush, mush, ho!
1257
01:45:21,653 --> 01:45:26,056
Here. Now. Back. Back, back, back.
Now, hush. Nothing.
1258
01:45:27,459 --> 01:45:28,790
Here it is, kids.
1259
01:45:28,994 --> 01:45:33,124
Are you tired of being a square? Are
you tired of a dull, dull, dull existence?
1260
01:45:33,332 --> 01:45:37,200
Well, for $1,
the tenth part of a sawbuck,
1261
01:45:37,402 --> 01:45:39,632
try Kelp's Kool Tonic!
1262
01:45:39,838 --> 01:45:42,466
You, too, can be the life of the party!
The life of the party!
1263
01:45:42,674 --> 01:45:44,437
He's right, kids. It's a gasser.
1264
01:45:44,643 --> 01:45:48,875
Step right up, folks!
Be somebody! Be anybody!
1265
01:45:50,582 --> 01:45:52,413
- Give me 16 bottles.
- Twelve here.
1266
01:45:52,617 --> 01:45:53,948
Five.
1267
01:45:57,089 --> 01:45:59,148
Wait, wait, wait, Stella. Stella.
1268
01:45:59,358 --> 01:46:01,918
Wait, sweetheart, dearest.
What have I done?
1269
01:46:02,127 --> 01:46:04,186
What has he done? What will I do?
1270
01:46:04,396 --> 01:46:06,921
Well, I know what you'll do.
Do you have the license?
1271
01:46:07,132 --> 01:46:09,862
Oh, oh, yes. Here it is, dearest.
1272
01:46:10,068 --> 01:46:13,037
- Well, what are we waiting for?
- Oh, well, what about the formula?
1273
01:46:13,238 --> 01:46:15,604
What about Mother?
What about Father?
1274
01:46:15,807 --> 01:46:17,434
Well, what's done is done.
1275
01:46:17,642 --> 01:46:20,008
And we have our own lives to live.
1276
01:46:20,212 --> 01:46:22,043
Come on, let's go.
1277
01:46:24,116 --> 01:46:28,018
Yes, actually, Stella,
what's right is right.
1278
01:46:28,220 --> 01:46:30,188
Let's split.
100563
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