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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:05,823 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:06,004 --> 00:00:08,007 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:10,108 --> 00:00:11,611 [SHRIEKS] 4 00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:18,718 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 5 00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:22,088 [BURPS] 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,189 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 7 00:00:24,222 --> 00:00:25,625 [YELLS] 8 00:00:30,129 --> 00:00:31,131 [BEEPS] 9 00:00:34,866 --> 00:00:36,835 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:36,868 --> 00:00:38,804 [PLAYING UPBEAT HARP MUSIC] 11 00:00:44,576 --> 00:00:45,577 [TIRES SCREECH] 12 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,881 D'oh! 13 00:00:49,914 --> 00:00:51,451 [GRUNTS] 14 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,486 [1950S-STYLE SITCOM THEME PLAYING] 15 00:00:56,655 --> 00:00:58,658 [1960S-STYLE SITCOM THEME PLAYING] 16 00:01:06,331 --> 00:01:08,333 [1970S-STYLE SITCOM THEME PLAYING] 17 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:11,970 Oh! 18 00:01:13,805 --> 00:01:15,808 [1980S-STYLE SITCOM THEME PLAYING] 19 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,483 [SCREAMING] 20 00:01:27,453 --> 00:01:28,954 [ALL EXHALE] 21 00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:37,195 BOTH: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 22 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,131 - [HOMER GROANING] - Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 23 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,733 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 24 00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:42,635 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 25 00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:45,638 You're here, you're just in a long line. 26 00:01:45,671 --> 00:01:47,840 - Thank you. - We appreciate it. 27 00:01:47,873 --> 00:01:49,841 - [PHONE CHIMES] - [GASPS] 28 00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:51,043 Points. 29 00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:55,414 - [BABY LAUGHS] - Follow me. 30 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:58,284 - Where? - Points. 31 00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,685 Points, points, excuse me, points. 32 00:02:00,718 --> 00:02:02,655 - Coming through, points. - My visor! 33 00:02:05,456 --> 00:02:08,593 No, Dad. No. We've been in line for an hour. 34 00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,263 Hmm, you have a point. 35 00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:12,197 - [GASPS] Points! - [SHOUTS] 36 00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:13,399 [TIRES SCREECH] 37 00:02:15,501 --> 00:02:17,469 Will you please explain where you're taking us, 38 00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:19,137 and don't just say "points." 39 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,540 Okay. Over a lifetime of credit card debt, 40 00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:24,343 and paying for credit card debt with worse credit card debt, 41 00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:27,146 this family has two million hotel rewards 42 00:02:27,179 --> 00:02:30,650 loyalty... points, which we can only use 43 00:02:30,682 --> 00:02:34,453 at the nearest Second Best Western Motel. 44 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:37,322 Oh, Dad, the points expire at midnight. 45 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,792 No worries. 46 00:02:39,824 --> 00:02:42,661 If I average 80 miles an hour for 14 straight hours, 47 00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:45,197 - we'll make it. - I love you, Homer. 48 00:02:45,230 --> 00:02:46,698 - Step on it, Dad! - [PHONE VIBRATING] 49 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,533 And I'll field this call from Grampa. 50 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,468 [FALSETTO VOICE]: Connection failed. 51 00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:51,671 GRAMPA [OVER PHONE]: But my liver! 52 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,338 So where exactly are we going? 53 00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:55,141 Niagara Falls. 54 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:56,217 - Eh. - Meh. 55 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,384 Paid for by points. 56 00:02:57,439 --> 00:02:59,512 [CHANTING]: Points! Points! Points! 57 00:02:59,544 --> 00:03:03,348 I spy a closed-down Toys "R" Us. 58 00:03:05,417 --> 00:03:06,551 [GROANS] 59 00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:10,022 I spy a bankrupt Sears and Roebuck. 60 00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:12,024 - D'oh! - I don't know about this game. 61 00:03:12,056 --> 00:03:13,992 I find it a little... [GASPS] 62 00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:17,362 Circuit City overrun by wild dogs. 63 00:03:17,395 --> 00:03:19,831 [BARKING, GROWLING] 64 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:20,933 BART AND HOMER: Booyah! 65 00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:23,436 How can you booyah this country's decline? 66 00:03:23,468 --> 00:03:24,936 Cheer up, honey. 67 00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:28,240 We're headed to the one place that can never decline, 68 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:33,079 because it was never that great: Upstate New York. 69 00:03:33,111 --> 00:03:35,114 ♪ ♪ 70 00:03:40,252 --> 00:03:43,689 ♪ Start watching Fox News ♪ 71 00:03:43,722 --> 00:03:48,027 ♪ Stop watching your weight ♪ 72 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:52,031 ♪ There is no fancy part of it ♪ 73 00:03:52,063 --> 00:03:55,967 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 74 00:03:56,001 --> 00:03:59,705 ♪ They're fond of their booze ♪ 75 00:03:59,737 --> 00:04:04,075 ♪ Hot wing sauce is great ♪ 76 00:04:04,109 --> 00:04:07,747 ♪ I'm gonna clog my heart in it ♪ 77 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:11,950 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 78 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:16,322 ♪ I want to sleep in, in a city ♪ 79 00:04:16,355 --> 00:04:19,925 ♪ That never wakes ♪ 80 00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:23,095 ♪ And find I'm fitting right in ♪ 81 00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:25,330 ♪ One of the gang ♪ 82 00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:28,133 ♪ Par for the course ♪ 83 00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:32,304 ♪ The Kodak plant closed ♪ 84 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:37,475 ♪ But I'm longing to stay ♪ 85 00:04:37,509 --> 00:04:41,413 ♪ And go on disability ♪ 86 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:46,117 ♪ In Upstate New York ♪ 87 00:04:46,151 --> 00:04:49,922 ♪ Can't make it anywhere ♪ 88 00:04:49,954 --> 00:04:53,591 ♪ But I can make it there ♪ 89 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:57,829 ♪ I love you so ♪ 90 00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:01,233 ♪ Upstate New York. ♪ 91 00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:06,806 Benedict Arnold fought here, baby. 92 00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,776 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 93 00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:12,712 You want a quarter for the binoculars? 94 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:13,879 I guess. 95 00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,448 Those tourist binoculars are never that strong. 96 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,850 [COIN CLATTERS] 97 00:05:21,853 --> 00:05:23,988 LISA: Now, that's worth a quarter. 98 00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,325 BART: So magnificent. 99 00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:30,963 Hey, Lis, want to bounce? 100 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:34,466 Not till I've soaked in the full majesty of the falls. 101 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,601 And done. 102 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,406 Take that, blue boy. 103 00:05:40,439 --> 00:05:42,241 Eat rubber, red head. [GRUNTS] 104 00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:45,577 I can't believe the kids are already bored with the view. 105 00:05:45,610 --> 00:05:47,079 Mmm. 106 00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:49,081 While the kids are bouncing around, 107 00:05:49,113 --> 00:05:52,016 why don't we do a little bouncing, too? 108 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,386 [LAUGHS] 109 00:05:53,418 --> 00:05:57,156 That's even more romantic than what you said at Fort Dix. 110 00:05:57,189 --> 00:05:59,325 [BOTH MOANING] 111 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,494 [BOTH GRUNTING] 112 00:06:01,526 --> 00:06:03,528 - Whoa! - [LAUGHS] 113 00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:08,201 Let's see, the angle of rebound equals the angle of incidence. 114 00:06:10,134 --> 00:06:11,603 [GASPS] 115 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:15,742 Ooh, I forgot to account for surface irregularities. 116 00:06:17,742 --> 00:06:19,043 [GASPS] 117 00:06:19,076 --> 00:06:21,379 Okay, time to take a sick day. 118 00:06:21,413 --> 00:06:23,215 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God! 119 00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:25,384 Ooh, a rainbow. 120 00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:27,085 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 121 00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:28,955 [GRUNTS] 122 00:06:31,156 --> 00:06:32,691 [POPS LOUDLY] 123 00:06:32,723 --> 00:06:34,293 [GROANS] 124 00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:35,995 Where am I? 125 00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:40,298 Oh... handsome, horsey. 126 00:06:40,331 --> 00:06:42,033 Am I in heaven? 127 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,603 Even better, eh? You're in beautiful Canada... 128 00:06:44,636 --> 00:06:48,307 is what I'd say if Canadians weren't too modest to brag. 129 00:06:48,339 --> 00:06:49,641 But we are. 130 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,644 Oh... 131 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,480 I have a young girl who may... I repeat, may... 132 00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:56,382 need medical attention, eh? 133 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,418 - I repeat: eh. - [SIRENS WAILING] 134 00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:04,924 [SIGHS] 135 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,930 Ms. Simpson, you're a very lucky lady. 136 00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,299 Oh, sweetie, thank God, thank God. 137 00:07:13,331 --> 00:07:15,300 [GRUNTING] 138 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:18,937 Your daughter's fine, but I recommend a five-day stay. 139 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,639 Of course, of course. We'll take out a third mortgage. 140 00:07:21,673 --> 00:07:26,812 Sir, you're in Canada now, where your health care is free. 141 00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:29,448 Free health care. Why can't America do that? 142 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,983 She's delirious, Doc. 143 00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:33,686 America can't pay for health care and give corporations 144 00:07:33,718 --> 00:07:36,355 the tax breaks they so desperately need. 145 00:07:36,387 --> 00:07:37,856 I'm not delirious. 146 00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,625 In fact, I've never felt more protected. 147 00:07:40,658 --> 00:07:42,327 Not like back home. 148 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,531 Ooh, hang on. Did you just say you don't feel safe 149 00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:46,932 in your home country? 150 00:07:46,964 --> 00:07:48,933 Why should she feel safe? 151 00:07:48,966 --> 00:07:52,471 In America, the great El Barto roams the streets. 152 00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:55,140 So, let me get this straight: you're afraid of America. 153 00:07:55,173 --> 00:07:56,542 Is that right, young lady? 154 00:07:56,574 --> 00:07:59,177 - Well, there's voter suppression... - Shh. 155 00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,208 and utter disregard for the environment... 156 00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:02,237 Shh. 157 00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:04,817 - a president who's such a son of a... - Shh. 158 00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:07,953 Oh, save that language for the lower 48. 159 00:08:07,985 --> 00:08:11,524 No, I'm telling you. Our president really is a god... 160 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,658 - Shush. - We know. 161 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,129 [MOANS] 162 00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:20,298 Lisa, as you're clearly a victim of political persecution 163 00:08:20,331 --> 00:08:23,067 who fears for her life, I must keep you in Canada 164 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:26,471 where you'll be safe and assigned your own hockey team. 165 00:08:26,504 --> 00:08:29,341 Please not Ottawa, please not Ottawa. 166 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:31,810 Yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry. 167 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:34,312 [GASPS] You can't keep my daughter. 168 00:08:34,346 --> 00:08:36,981 She's the heart and soul of this family. 169 00:08:37,014 --> 00:08:39,250 - Hey. What am I? - You're the spleen. 170 00:08:39,283 --> 00:08:41,419 We don't know what it does and we don't care. 171 00:08:41,452 --> 00:08:42,754 My hands are tied, ma'am. 172 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,923 She's in the asylum pipeline now. 173 00:08:44,956 --> 00:08:46,926 You can't separate us from our child. 174 00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,560 That's America's thing. 175 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,262 Well, then you leave us no choice. 176 00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:53,865 We have to deport you, Canadian-style. 177 00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,634 Great. Come on. Bring it in, bring it in. 178 00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:05,009 Lisa, are they taking care of you? Are you eating okay? 179 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,678 [CANADIAN ACCENT]: Look, I'm fine, eh. 180 00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:08,112 We're losing her. 181 00:09:08,145 --> 00:09:09,447 Mom, I'm okay. 182 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,216 They put me in a nice foster home 183 00:09:11,249 --> 00:09:12,884 with Gord and Francette here. 184 00:09:12,918 --> 00:09:14,385 Enough with the accent. 185 00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:15,721 [REGULAR ACCENT]: Okay. 186 00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:18,389 Lisa, where should we go for dinner tonight? 187 00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:20,525 Harvey's or Swiss Chalet? 188 00:09:20,558 --> 00:09:22,093 How about Mr. Submarine? 189 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,861 [GASPS] Or Earls? 190 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,129 Don't forget Humpty's. 191 00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:29,301 Mmm, restaurant chains I never heard of. 192 00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:32,103 [MOANS] 193 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,772 Homer, you take Bart back to Springfield. 194 00:09:34,806 --> 00:09:37,442 I am going for my daughter. 195 00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:40,312 Local smarty-pants Lisa Simpson has been abducted 196 00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:43,449 by America's Ned Flanders to the north, Canada. 197 00:09:43,481 --> 00:09:45,951 Here in Springfield, reactions to Lisa's loss 198 00:09:45,984 --> 00:09:48,754 have been loud and uninformed. 199 00:09:48,787 --> 00:09:50,623 Lisa was the moral center of this town. 200 00:09:50,655 --> 00:09:52,625 Now it's Barney, who knows nothing. 201 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:56,128 Except it is the purpose of government to see that not only 202 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,796 the legitimate interests of the few are protected, 203 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,500 but that the rights of the many are conserved. 204 00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:04,769 - Shut your gibber-hole. [GRUNTS] - Ow! 205 00:10:04,802 --> 00:10:08,240 Ugh! She was the only one in this band worth a tinker's damn. 206 00:10:08,273 --> 00:10:10,808 - [ALL GROANING] - Oh, come on. 207 00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:12,276 You know you all stink. 208 00:10:12,309 --> 00:10:15,179 We've been working on the same song for 30 years. 209 00:10:15,212 --> 00:10:16,814 ♪ ♪ 210 00:10:16,847 --> 00:10:19,851 [GASPS] Can you fall in love with a country? 211 00:10:19,884 --> 00:10:23,621 The science textbooks acknowledge climate change. 212 00:10:23,654 --> 00:10:25,990 Class, let's give an enthusiastic 213 00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:28,460 but quiet hello to Lisa Simpson. 214 00:10:28,493 --> 00:10:30,129 STUDENTS: Hello. 215 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,665 As an American, I'd like to apologize 216 00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:34,298 for something our president said about 217 00:10:34,331 --> 00:10:36,968 your wonderfully progressive prime minister. 218 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,604 Is there any way I can send a note? Or maybe I could... 219 00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,774 - Right this way. - Oh. 220 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,841 Hmm! 221 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:45,977 - Mr. Trudeau? - Yes, Lisa? 222 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:47,379 Oh. 223 00:10:47,412 --> 00:10:51,483 I am really, really sorry about what our president called you. 224 00:10:51,515 --> 00:10:55,187 I don't think about it, I've moved on. 225 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,355 Weak. He called me weak. 226 00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,024 Absolutely. 227 00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:00,359 Let me ask you. 228 00:11:00,392 --> 00:11:02,795 Does this look weak? 229 00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:04,196 Seriously? 230 00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:06,965 Wow, that is impressive. 231 00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:08,901 Uh, watch your tie. 232 00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:11,502 So, listen, if I could just ask you one question 233 00:11:11,535 --> 00:11:14,038 about the SNC-Lavalin scandal? 234 00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:16,075 [SUSPENSEFUL ESPIONAGE MUSIC PLAYING] 235 00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:25,750 MRS. SCARBOROUGH: Now, Lisa, 236 00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:29,087 we'll be doing a class play based on a great Canadian novel. 237 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,057 The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz by Mordecai Richler? 238 00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,425 Maybe next year, Oliver. 239 00:11:33,457 --> 00:11:34,826 It's never Duddy. 240 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,329 No, we're doing a child-friendly version 241 00:11:37,361 --> 00:11:38,429 of The Handmaid's Tale. 242 00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:40,765 Ooh, I'd like to try out for Offred. 243 00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,600 [SOUNDS OF AWE] 244 00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:46,105 Oh, so you're asking directly for something you want. 245 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:49,441 Well, that's not very Canadian, but I like it. 246 00:11:49,474 --> 00:11:51,477 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] 247 00:11:55,246 --> 00:11:59,117 I've never been happier. [GIGGLES] 248 00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,852 Polite applause, children. 249 00:12:00,885 --> 00:12:03,288 [WEAKLY]: Yay. 250 00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:05,324 ♪ ♪ 251 00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:10,928 No. 252 00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:12,264 [GROANS] 253 00:12:13,731 --> 00:12:15,767 [GRUNTS] 254 00:12:17,635 --> 00:12:19,070 [DELIGHTED GASP] 255 00:12:19,104 --> 00:12:21,139 Hi, Mrs. Simpson. 256 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:24,143 I have to get my daughter back. Can I hide in the trunk? 257 00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:27,479 Okay, but don't tell anyone we're going up for beer. 258 00:12:27,511 --> 00:12:29,447 MARGE AND DRIVERS: We all know. 259 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,615 [FEEBLE GROAN] 260 00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:32,650 ♪ ♪ 261 00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:35,153 D'oh. 262 00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:42,660 What's this blue stuff, eh? 263 00:12:42,693 --> 00:12:45,463 Oh, um, it's called a car tail. 264 00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:47,331 Stupid new American fad. 265 00:12:47,365 --> 00:12:48,914 Oh, we'll get it in six months. 266 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,299 Move along. 267 00:12:58,342 --> 00:12:59,844 SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN: Good-bye! 268 00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:01,747 Where is she? 269 00:13:01,779 --> 00:13:03,314 Mom. 270 00:13:04,349 --> 00:13:06,285 - [GASPS] Oh, sweetie. - [GRUNTING] 271 00:13:06,317 --> 00:13:09,420 Mmm, this is the best hug we've ever had. 272 00:13:09,453 --> 00:13:11,289 Yes, it's wonderful. 273 00:13:11,322 --> 00:13:13,257 Please don't make me leave. 274 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,694 Your home is with us, not them. 275 00:13:15,726 --> 00:13:18,163 You must have known I wasn't happy in Springfield. 276 00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:20,365 All I did was play the blues. 277 00:13:20,398 --> 00:13:22,033 Are you sure you didn't play the blues 278 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,936 because slow tempos are easier? 279 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,337 Maybe a little. 280 00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:27,306 But this country is better. 281 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:30,175 Their Fox News is just news about foxes. 282 00:13:30,207 --> 00:13:32,443 Listen, you little traitor. I'm your mother. 283 00:13:32,476 --> 00:13:34,011 And you live where I live. 284 00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:35,847 You're coming home with me. 285 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,152 I'm really gonna miss this place. 286 00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:42,019 If it makes you feel any better, 287 00:13:42,052 --> 00:13:44,355 Canada exploits its environment, too. 288 00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:46,825 - Wha...? - This country does it all. 289 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:50,228 Tar sands, strip-mining, Mountie-mocking, 290 00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:53,698 geese-goosing, French fry-gravying. 291 00:13:53,731 --> 00:13:57,568 Okay, but I'm sure you treat all peoples equally. 292 00:13:57,601 --> 00:14:00,639 - Except the Québécois. - And the Newfies. 293 00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,740 KIDS: Stupid Newfies. 294 00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:04,142 I'm a Newfie. 295 00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:06,177 Whee. 296 00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:10,748 I guess that does make me feel a little better. 297 00:14:10,782 --> 00:14:12,017 Thank you. 298 00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:16,687 ♪ Where the wind blows cold ♪ 299 00:14:16,721 --> 00:14:19,057 ♪ And there's ice and snow ♪ 300 00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:22,761 ♪ Some days go on forever ♪ 301 00:14:22,793 --> 00:14:25,264 ♪ But I'm warm and fed ♪ 302 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:27,432 ♪ In a Newfoundlander's bed ♪ 303 00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:31,570 ♪ I'll be an islander forever ♪ 304 00:14:31,602 --> 00:14:34,605 ♪ I'll be an islander ♪ 305 00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:36,475 ♪ Forever. ♪ 306 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,349 MARGE: Sir, we'd appreciate it 307 00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:47,785 if you gave us safe passage back to America. 308 00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:51,455 Sorry, but as it now says on the Statue of Liberty, 309 00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:53,425 "No re-entry without hand stamp." 310 00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,827 - Where do you get the hand stamp? - There isn't one. 311 00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:03,302 Our top story tonight: Estranged Brew. 312 00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:05,070 Marge Simpson and her daughter have now been 313 00:15:05,102 --> 00:15:08,205 banned from the United States, just like asbestos. 314 00:15:08,239 --> 00:15:10,108 And this just in: asbestos is back 315 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:11,943 into America's hospitals and schools. 316 00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:14,111 Let me just say this asbestos will be 317 00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:16,180 reinstalled with the greatest of care. 318 00:15:19,583 --> 00:15:21,152 [COUGHS] 319 00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:25,423 Oh, Homie, I don't know how we're gonna get back. 320 00:15:25,456 --> 00:15:27,992 Hmm... how soon can you grow a mustache? 321 00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:29,327 That won't work. 322 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,163 Your call. 323 00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:32,831 Hmm, at least it looks like 324 00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:35,000 you're getting along okay without us. 325 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:40,305 You know, since Lisa and I are stuck here, 326 00:15:40,337 --> 00:15:42,573 maybe you should move up here with us. 327 00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:44,308 Great idea, great idea. 328 00:15:44,341 --> 00:15:46,077 What the heck? Bring Bart. 329 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:48,346 No way. I can't move to Canada. 330 00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,081 I revere this country. 331 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,485 Really? The last vote you cast was for Quisp. 332 00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,153 And I won. 333 00:15:55,186 --> 00:15:58,956 Maybe we could find a way to sneak out. I snuck in. 334 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,859 You do what you want; I'm not leaving. 335 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:05,096 Okay. You win, Lisa. 336 00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:07,698 Looks like we're gonna be here together. 337 00:16:07,731 --> 00:16:09,467 But there's one thing I need you to do. 338 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,636 Take one last look at the country you left behind 339 00:16:12,669 --> 00:16:15,506 and focus on anything good about it. 340 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,110 You're right. America's like a great boyfriend 341 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,644 that maybe got a little fat and lost a little hair. 342 00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:24,883 What does that have to do with anything? Just go. 343 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,451 Good-bye, USA. 344 00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:29,553 I feel like we did the best we could. 345 00:16:29,586 --> 00:16:31,389 And we can still be friends. 346 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:35,059 Okay, now I'm gonna focus on the good things that you've got. 347 00:16:35,092 --> 00:16:39,296 ["BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC" PLAYING] 348 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,867 [TRUMPETS] 349 00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:44,302 Abe Lincoln... Dumbo... 350 00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:47,372 Aretha Franklin, Eleanor Roosevelt, 351 00:16:47,404 --> 00:16:50,975 Seabiscuit, the computer that won on Jeopardy! 352 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,711 WATSON: What is "We miss you, Lisa"? 353 00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:55,647 [GASPS] Judy Blume. 354 00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:57,548 Oh, I own all your books. 355 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,985 I know, I read my royalty reports. 356 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,153 Having awkward new feelings for your country... 357 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,654 it's normal, Lisa. 358 00:17:03,687 --> 00:17:06,258 [WHISPERING]: And you're one of my favorite readers. 359 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,893 Welcome home, Lisa. 360 00:17:07,925 --> 00:17:09,760 Well, I haven't decided yet. 361 00:17:09,794 --> 00:17:12,264 Hello, Lisa. 362 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:15,767 - Louis Armstrong. - Yeah. And I'm mighty tired 363 00:17:15,799 --> 00:17:18,537 of having to keep appearing in your fantasies. 364 00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:20,105 Get your ass back over here. 365 00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:21,872 Yes, sir, Satchmo. 366 00:17:21,905 --> 00:17:24,775 America ain't perfect, but it's my job to make it better. 367 00:17:24,808 --> 00:17:26,177 See you soon. 368 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,247 [LAUGHS] 369 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:31,416 What are you going over there for? 370 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,419 It's legal now. 371 00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:36,954 - WATSON: What is "Pass the Dutch"? - [SEABISCUIT NEIGHS] 372 00:17:36,988 --> 00:17:38,590 [DUMBO TRUMPETS] 373 00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:43,361 Psst, Mom. 374 00:17:43,394 --> 00:17:45,130 Psst. I want to go home. 375 00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,964 Oh, finally. 376 00:17:46,998 --> 00:17:49,701 We're out of this hellhole. 377 00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:51,269 Who made my bed? 378 00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:53,071 Least I could do. 379 00:18:02,446 --> 00:18:04,748 [FRENCH ACCENT]: We will get you across the river. 380 00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:07,985 Nous allons vous faire traverser la rivière. 381 00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:11,256 God, it wastes so must time saying everything twice. 382 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:17,295 I feel so relieved to have finally made up my mind. 383 00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:19,330 [SCRAPING, CRACKING] 384 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:22,800 Ooh. We must ditch our excess cargo. 385 00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,669 - You two. - [MARGE AND LISA GASP] 386 00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:27,972 You're abandoning us in the middle of a frozen river? 387 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:31,243 Wow, Canadians really can be jerks. 388 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,245 Yes, for every Martin Short, 389 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,346 there is no shortage of Shatners. 390 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,117 [EVIL FRENCH LAUGHTER] 391 00:18:39,483 --> 00:18:41,619 Hope you wash up on a shore you like! 392 00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,654 [EVIL FRENCH LAUGHTER FADING] 393 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,794 [CAR HORN HONKS] 394 00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:51,129 - Homie! - Dad! 395 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:54,366 Guess who's here to save the day. 396 00:18:57,201 --> 00:18:59,336 Why did you get a truck so big? 397 00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:01,438 It's the smallest one Detroit makes. 398 00:19:01,471 --> 00:19:03,741 [ICE RUMBLING] 399 00:19:04,509 --> 00:19:06,144 How will we get in? 400 00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:09,480 I know one place where there's always plenty of room. 401 00:19:09,513 --> 00:19:11,516 ["AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING] 402 00:19:16,854 --> 00:19:19,324 I missed you, Krusty Burger where there's only 403 00:19:19,356 --> 00:19:20,858 one thing I can eat. 404 00:19:20,892 --> 00:19:23,461 I missed you, pony I had for a week. 405 00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:27,031 I missed you, snarky comic book seller. 406 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:28,466 Thanks for nothing. 407 00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:32,403 I missed you, nuclear ash that looks like snow. 408 00:19:32,436 --> 00:19:35,639 I missed you, mixed martial arts megachurch. 409 00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:37,308 I missed you, Ralph. 410 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:38,643 You were gone? 411 00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:40,144 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 412 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:41,980 Now can we do Duddy Kravitz? 413 00:19:42,012 --> 00:19:43,881 No, we're gonna watch an episode 414 00:19:43,914 --> 00:19:46,117 - of The Beachcombers. - Oh... 415 00:19:48,005 --> 00:19:54,159 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 416 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:55,727 For my show and tell, 417 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,430 I brought something from my trip to Canada. 418 00:19:58,462 --> 00:20:00,065 [HORSE WHINNIES] 419 00:20:00,097 --> 00:20:01,599 What did you do this week, sir? 420 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:04,436 Well, a Japanese tourist took pictures of me, 421 00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,938 I fed my horse an apple, and I found 422 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:10,608 a very interesting man hiding in Medicine Hat. 423 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,278 - Papa. - Hey, Nelson, good news. 424 00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:16,080 You've got a brother in Fort McMurray. 425 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:18,950 - What's his name? - How would I know? 426 00:20:18,982 --> 00:20:21,319 ["O, CANADA" PLAYING] 30587

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