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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:01,402
.
2
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,135
[playing Radiohead's "Creep"
on ukulele]
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:05,535
- You're so
freakin' special
4
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,440
[thunder booms faintly]
5
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:12,075
I wish I was special
6
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:16,423
But I'm a creep
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,220
I'm a weirdo
8
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:23,194
What the hell
am I doing here?
9
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,664
- D-Did Brett like Radiohead?
10
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,363
- No, it's just
the only song she knows.
11
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:32,426
- Her YouTube channel is so sad.
- I don't belong...
12
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,466
Here
13
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,442
[ukulele flourish]
14
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,110
[claps lightly]
15
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:41,079
- Thank you, Sandra.
That was...lovely.
16
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:46,313
We're gathered here today
to honor our dear friend
17
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,347
and co-worker
Brett Kobashigawa.
18
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:53,093
He died doing what he loved
most--collecting carts.
19
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,661
- We do not know he's dead!
20
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,588
- Glenn.
- They did not find a body.
21
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,164
- They found a foot.
22
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,562
- Maybe it's
somebody else's foot.
23
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,433
All we know is that
Brett was in the parking lot
24
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:05,233
collecting carts
when the tornado hit.
25
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,696
And that no one has seen
or heard from him since.
26
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,295
- And the foot...
- Stop with the foot.
27
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,138
We have addressed the foot.
- I agree with Glenn.
28
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,584
Brett wasn't killed
by that tornado.
29
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,308
- Thank you, Dina.
30
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,184
- What usually happens is
all the air is sucked
31
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,652
from your lungs and then they
fill up with blood,
32
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,320
so, technically, he probably
drowned on his own blood.
33
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,894
- Why didn't we know about
Brett's death sooner?
34
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,659
- Apparently someone
was clocking in for him.
35
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,458
Guys, this is one
of the reasons
36
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,890
that clock-in buddies
is a bad idea.
37
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,525
- Also, it could've been
blunt force trauma.
38
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,901
I mean, at those wind speeds,
even a coffee mug
39
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,599
could blow your chest plate
wide open.
40
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:41,501
- At any rate, we hereby
dedicate this bench to Brett,
41
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,695
where he used to sit
on his flip phone
42
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,207
and argue with his wife
for hours.
43
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,680
- Yeah, now might
not be the best time,
44
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,678
but if anybody still hasn't
chipped in for the plaque,
45
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,410
it's $6.83 each, so...
46
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,675
Just, you know, get it to me
when you can.
47
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,354
- His body
isn't even cold yet, Jonah.
48
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:59,354
- Because he's
probably still alive,
49
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,617
basking on some beach
in the Mediterranean.
50
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,286
- Yeah, just waiting for his
foot stump to heal.
51
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,456
- Could've been impaled
by a curtain rod.
52
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,725
I mean, for all we know,
he could be one of
53
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,462
several people on the same rod.
54
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,428
Hopefully, for his sake,
he was on one of the ends.
55
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,697
- Okay, Sandra, how about
another song?
56
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,766
- Oh.
Okay, uh, it's not a song,
57
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,506
but I-I did learn a new chord.
58
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,182
[strums out of tune]
59
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,581
Nope, no--that's not it.
60
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:26,653
[strums out of tune again]
61
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,650
Nope.
62
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,651
[upbeat music]
63
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,594
*
64
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:36,420
[mellow music]
65
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,357
- So that was a...
Cloud 9 funeral.
66
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:42,433
- Yep, there was
way more fanfare
67
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,273
when Deborah got hit
by a forklift.
68
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,468
- Sorry I missed that.
69
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,600
You know, Brett's actually
the first person
70
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,436
I ever knew who died.
71
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,511
- Really?
72
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,239
What about, like, your
grandparents?
73
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:55,284
- Nope.
All still alive and healthy.
74
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,549
My Pop-pop can run
an eight-minute mile.
75
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,278
- That's a weird thing
to brag about.
76
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,623
- I'm just saying.
It's pretty fast.
77
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,319
- I go to, like,
three funerals a year.
78
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,821
It's a good excuse
to see family.
79
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,592
- I don't even know anybody
who's ever been in, like,
80
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,760
a major accident.
81
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,388
- Also a weird thing
to brag about.
82
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,363
- Except for Garrett, maybe.
83
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:16,326
That was an accident, right?
He was...how, uh...
84
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,004
- Huh. I don't know.
85
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,601
- Me neither.
86
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,703
I feel like I should know that.
- Why?
87
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,805
- Because he's, you know,
one of my best friends.
88
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,568
And my roommate.
89
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,477
We're definitely close enough
for me to know.
90
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,840
We pee with the doors open.
91
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,748
- I don't pee
in front of anyone.
92
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,450
- Well then, I guess you
don't have any best friends.
93
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:41,758
- Oww!
94
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,659
Ohh!
These things are impossible.
95
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,461
- Yeah, and who is gonna steal
96
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,763
a "Matrix 2" and "3" box set?
97
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,855
- Okay, I can't, I can't--
98
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,327
This is blood. I'm bleeding.
- Where?
99
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,026
- Hey, you two.
How's it going?
100
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,867
- Ugh. Pretty sucky.
101
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,743
- Because of Brett?
102
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,541
- Huh?
103
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,813
- I think it's very, very likely
that he is still alive.
104
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:06,883
But if you two are upset about
his disappearance,
105
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,384
then you can take a break
for a while.
106
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,047
- Oh, no, that's okay,
we don't--
107
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,654
- Thank you, Glenn.
108
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:16,516
We, um, we could really use
a chance to sit and reflect.
109
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:19,527
You know, Brett was like
a father to me, so...
110
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,760
- Yeah, and he was--he was like
a grandfather to me.
111
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,597
- [clears throat]
112
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:29,873
Uh, I'm young enough that he was
also like a grandfather to me.
113
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,613
- I had no idea.
114
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:35,379
Well, you two take
as long as you need, okay?
115
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,079
You know,
a book of Matthew says,
116
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,780
"Blessed are those
who mourn--"
117
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,782
- Glenn, we're gonna mourn
in our own way.
118
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,075
- [whispers] Yeah.
119
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,787
- Nice.
- [squeaks]
120
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,359
[rain pattering,
thunder booming]
121
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,789
- Hey, Dina, Justine's
complaining about an odor
122
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,534
in the women's room again.
123
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:56,630
She's describing it as
a liquid raccoon smell.
124
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,534
Hey, Dina. You okay?
125
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,866
- What?
Yeah, sorry, I just
126
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,601
haven't really
been sleeping lately.
127
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,536
[sighs] You know,
weather's getting worse.
128
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:05,742
I'm starting to think
we should get everyone
129
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,443
into the new storm shelter.
130
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,105
- [scoffs] Uh, I don't think
that's necessary.
131
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,753
It's just a rainstorm.
132
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,109
- Tell that to Brett.
Oh, wait, you can't.
133
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,377
'Cause he's smeared
all over the Midwest.
134
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,888
['80s pop song]
135
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:28,834
136
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,370
- I get that it's weird
for a dude to say this,
137
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,800
but I'm gonna miss
Brett's laugh.
138
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,874
- Me too, me too. Hey, man, uh,
let me ask you something.
139
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:40,374
How...
140
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:43,878
How, uh...
How did, how were you--
141
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,411
- I'm sorry. What?
142
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,706
- No, it's just--
wh--did--did...
143
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,677
Were you always...
Did--because I don't--
144
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,687
Oh, look! Look at that!
That's Amy. Hey, Amy.
145
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:55,719
- Hey. Have you guys noticed
anything weird about Dina?
146
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,886
[thunder booming faintly]
147
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,555
- Well, Dina's her own thing.
148
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,503
We've had sex in
three different houses,
149
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,599
and I'm not totally sure
any of them were hers.
150
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:07,171
- Okay. I mean, not normal
Dina-weirdness, like,
151
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,600
something's off.
152
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,966
- I don't know. I mean,
maybe she's just--
153
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,644
[thunder booms]
- [gasps]
154
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:13,573
- Oh! See?
155
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,777
[percussive music]
156
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:20,410
- Attention--all customers and
employees to the storm shelter.
157
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,648
Now, people! Let's go!
158
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,723
[panting]
159
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,521
Ugh! Move, grandpa!
160
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,532
[clattering, clinking]
161
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,574
- Again, I'm so sorry
for the false alarm.
162
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,670
There's no tornado.
You're free to leave.
163
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,702
- Now, better safe than sorry,
so no apologies.
164
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,467
- Yes, but, well,
we are apologizing.
165
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,137
- I am absolutely
not apologizing.
166
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,175
- Well, some people should be.
- Well, some people
167
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,750
should shut their damn yaps.
168
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:55,149
- Anyway, as a thank you,
please enjoy a coupon
169
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,822
for 50 cents off frozen yogurt
in the café.
170
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,551
- [clears throat]
[softly] We could only find ten.
171
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,587
- So...get them
while they're hot.
172
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,164
Thank you.
173
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:09,563
Give one to her.
Dina was really rough with her.
174
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:13,797
- * When we are apart,
I feel it too...
175
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:17,714
[water pit-pattering]
176
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,738
I feel the pain
177
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:27,583
- Hey, Myrtle, you've been here
a long time, right?
178
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,675
- Since 1987.
179
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,717
- Oh, yeah,
so you were here, then,
180
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,722
when Garrett
first started--
181
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,164
- The Cards were in
the World Series.
182
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:40,489
I was having an affair
with Ozzie Smith.
183
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,598
The Wizard,
we used to call him.
184
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,730
- Wow, no kidding. So--
185
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,865
- Turns out
it wasn't really Ozzie.
186
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,041
He was a waiter at Beffa's,
187
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,740
which was a popular
establishment back then.
188
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,844
- Beffa's?
Never heard of it.
189
00:07:55,876 --> 00:08:00,876
- I once saw Al Wiman having
a roast beef sandwich there.
190
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:05,554
Well, he ordered it.
I don't recall if he ate it.
191
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,846
- That's a really good story.
192
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,617
Um, Myrtle, when--
- Back then,
193
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,157
people were tougher
than they are now.
194
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:15,662
You can't even call someone
a [bleep]
195
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,796
even if they're being one.
196
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,531
[laughs]
Which reminds me of a story...
197
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:24,768
I once had a sister-in-law
who really was [bleep],
198
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,765
and she was adorable.
199
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,237
- I finally get to catch up
on Kylie Jenner's Insta.
200
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,306
- Man, she does sponsored posts
in a way that
201
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,814
make you really believe
that she loves the product.
202
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,817
- I know. It's beautiful.
203
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,589
- How's it going, you two?
204
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,919
- Oh, uh...comes in waves.
205
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,764
One second I'm, like, "Huh?"
And the next I'm, like, "Huh."
206
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,732
- Well, you know,
I'm still holding out hope
207
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,660
that Brett's alive.
208
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,656
- Even with the foot?
209
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:53,698
- I don't wanna
re-litigate the foot, but...
210
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,304
I did wanna write
a Brett tribute
211
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,306
for the newsletter--
you know, just in case.
212
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:02,808
And you guys knew him so well
I thought maybe you could help.
213
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:06,813
- Of course. I mean,
we would love to honor him.
214
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,217
- So what was
his wife's name?
215
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,819
- Um...
216
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,321
- Cinnamon.
- Margaret.
217
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,692
- Cinnamon Margaret?
218
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:14,961
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
219
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,258
- Uh-huh.
That is...what we said.
220
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,830
- Okay, uh, I also wanna include
a funny story.
221
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,701
- Well... [laughs]
222
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:26,330
We obviously have...
so many of those.
223
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,696
- Obviously.
[laughs]
224
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,695
From real life.
- Mm-hmm.
225
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,767
- Great. Okay.
[laughs]
226
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,807
- Cheyenne,
what's your favorite?
227
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,909
- Just a heads-up,
we're gonna need to do
228
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,377
a full restock of the jerky.
229
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,824
I'm taking this down
to the storm shelter.
230
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,250
- Oh, do we need that much?
231
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,994
Tornadoes last, like,
15 minutes.
232
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,859
- Uh, what if the roof
caves in?
233
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,318
Sorry, everybody. Looks like
we're gonna starve down here
234
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,857
because Amy thought we'd only
be trapped for 15 minutes.
235
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,263
- Uh, Dina?
That seems a little dramatic.
236
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,765
- [mockingly] "Okay, uh, Dina?
That seems a little dramatic."
237
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,268
Look, I don't have time
to roast you, okay?
238
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,739
I still need sun lamps,
mylar blankets...
239
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,869
- Are you maybe
going through anything
240
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,774
you wanna talk about, or...
241
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,676
- Okay, I need
to have games for morale.
242
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,378
Chess, Scrabble,
Uno for the dummies.
243
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,279
- Okay, Dina?
I'm worried about you.
244
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,782
As a friend.
- You wanna be a friend?
245
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,645
Go freeze a couple hundred
pounds of chard.
246
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,294
- I'm not doing that.
247
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,848
- [scoffs]
Fine.
248
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,417
Guess we won't have chard.
249
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,725
- I bought a toothbrush,
toothpaste
250
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,899
A flannel for my face
251
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,298
Pajamas, a hairbrush
252
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,300
New shoes and a case...
253
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,803
- Okay. Thank you.
254
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,436
- Hey, Sandra,
how's it going?
255
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,410
- I just found out Jerry's
feeding tube got infected and--
256
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,880
- Ah, same here.
257
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,009
So let me ask you a question,
258
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,813
but don't tell Garrett.
259
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,345
- Okay.
- Okay.
260
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:50,779
Has he ever told you how
he ended up in a wheelchair?
261
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,048
- Um...let me think.
262
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,316
- Hey, what's up, guys?
263
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,424
- Hey.
264
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,885
- Hey! What's going on?
265
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,334
- What you guys
talking about?
266
00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,428
- Nothing.
267
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,029
- Nothing?
268
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,401
So you guys are just
in the hallway
269
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,800
staring at each other
saying nothing?
270
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,744
- Well, not nothing.
I mean, we were--
271
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:09,969
we were talking about...
272
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,873
- [stammering]
Jonah's going to a barbecue,
273
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,405
and he asked
if it'd be interesting
274
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,080
to put burrata on
a burger instead of provolone.
275
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,809
And I said,
"Who uses provolone?"
276
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,306
[both laugh]
277
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,977
And he was laughing,
and then I started laughing.
278
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,346
And then he asked,
"Are burgers cliché in general?"
279
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,916
And I said, "No,
not if you use venison."
280
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,357
But then you said,
281
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,361
"Venison does not
pair with burrata," so...
282
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,804
here we are.
283
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,070
- Yeah.
A-and then you--
284
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,928
and then you came up.
- Mm-hmm.
285
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:43,037
- So...
- Well, I'm sorry I asked.
286
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,910
- Okay.
- I-I'll see you around.
287
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,339
- Mm.
288
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,944
- Wow, you are
an incredible liar.
289
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,077
- Thank you.
290
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,882
[laughs]
291
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:58,392
- Swam up the Panama Canal.
292
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:01,318
Hey, how long was he
a cowboy trick rider for?
293
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:05,494
- Well, he was in the circuit
for a number of years
294
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:09,025
with his horse named...
295
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,303
Cloud Tie.
296
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,931
- Cloud Tie.
- Yeah.
297
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,966
- And, uh,
then he joined the Marines.
298
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:19,013
He was in the...
Blue Shirt Division.
299
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,939
- Okay.
- At the battle of, uh...
300
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,405
- Khaki Pants.
- Yep.
301
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,314
- Like it sounds?
302
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,816
- Mm-hmm.
303
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:31,478
K-H...
K...A-K-I.
304
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,918
- I just think that the tornado
and this Brett stuff
305
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,494
is really affecting you.
306
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,162
- How many iodine tablets
to sterilize urine?
307
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,990
Is it two or three?
- I really couldn't say.
308
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,456
- Maybe err on
the side of caution.
309
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,463
- Are you okay?
'Cause you seem a little manic.
310
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,126
- Is this your thing?
Do you like to
311
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,125
just follow people
and tell them everything
312
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,997
you think is wrong with them?
'Cause I could do that too.
313
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,336
- No, that's not--
- Hair. Chin. Shrimpy build.
314
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,141
Boobs.
Well, left boob.
315
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,813
- I'm willing to ignore that
316
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,082
because I know
you're lashing out.
317
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,539
- Ankles.
- I have joint inflammation!
318
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,847
You need to get help!
- I'm fine!
319
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,010
[loud crash]
320
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,178
man: Sorry.
321
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:05,418
.
322
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:08,192
- I think there's something
wrong with Dina.
323
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:09,319
- Heck, yeah, there is.
[laughs]
324
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,263
- No, Glenn.
It wasn't a diss.
325
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,831
- [continuous laughing]
326
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,030
- Okay.
327
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,161
- Good burn!
That was fun.
328
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,966
Hey, let's do Elias now--
329
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,998
- Glenn, I think the tornado
really affected her.
330
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,174
I don't know if this is
a workman's comp type of thing,
331
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,443
but she needs
to talk to someone.
332
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,441
- Oh, Lisa's a good listener.
333
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,013
- I was thinking
like a professional.
334
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,012
- Ohh! Okay.
335
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,875
Now, we don't have a binder
on dealing with tornadoes,
336
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,145
but I did find one
on workplace shootings
337
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,024
that I think
I can make work.
338
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,122
- The tornado was like
two months ago.
339
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,355
We're over it.
340
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,230
- Well, maybe you are.
341
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:48,928
But maybe there's someone else
who's having trouble coping.
342
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,862
- Who is it?
- It doesn't matter.
343
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,228
- Is it Sandra?
- Nope.
344
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,425
- Is it Dina?
- I'm not gonna say.
345
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,096
- [whispers] Carol.
- No!
346
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,435
- Thanks, Ames.
- I'm sorry.
347
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,209
This is not what I had
in mind.
348
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,038
- "If you're reading this,
then your branch
349
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:03,043
"has been the victim
of a workplace...tornado.
350
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,446
"Workplace tornados
are a growing epidemic
351
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,348
"that we need to face while
still respecting the right
352
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:12,121
of every American
to own tornados."
353
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,152
It's good.
354
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,186
[water pit-pattering]
355
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:18,192
['80s pop song]
356
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:23,125
*
357
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:27,103
- "Many tornado victims
describe worrying
358
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,004
"that behind every hallway,
359
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:32,236
there's a lone tornado
waiting to tornado them."
360
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,472
- This is waste of time.
361
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,506
- Look, Dina.
I just think
362
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,352
that you're holding in
a lot of pent-up emotion
363
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,378
and that it's good
to talk about these things.
364
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,083
I learned that
in couples therapy.
365
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,975
- Oh, and that worked out
great for you, didn't it?
366
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,247
- Dina, that didn't
367
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,985
work out for them, though,
actually.
368
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,290
They're getting a divorce.
- [softly] I know.
369
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,522
- You know, there's no shame
370
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,127
in admitting
you're having a tough time
371
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,329
dealing
with something, okay?
372
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,400
In college,
I discovered that my dad
373
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,998
was having an affair
on Parents Weekend.
374
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,431
Try enjoying
"Stomp" after that.
375
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,266
- Ugh, that's your trauma?
376
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,541
I watched my brother drown
in the South China Sea.
377
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,110
- Well, it's not a contest.
378
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,409
- Well, if it was, you'd lose.
379
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,310
- I went to the movie "Saw"
380
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,212
thinking it was about carpentry.
381
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,554
It is not!
382
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,549
I threw up in my lap.
383
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,421
And then Jerusha made us stay
because it was our date night
384
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,250
and the tickets
were non-refundable.
385
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:20,716
- Okay, there's a lot
to unpack there,
386
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,263
but let's circle back
to Dina.
387
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,060
- I once got caught
trying to run
388
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,533
a badger game
in Kansas City.
389
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:32,001
Ha.
I had to cut my way out.
390
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,467
[water pattering]
391
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:38,372
["I Can Dream About You"
plays]
392
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:41,405
- * I can dream about you...
393
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,381
- Thank you, Cheyenne,
for taking us
394
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,380
through your visit
to Cancun, but...
395
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,282
I'm not clear--
what was traumatic about it?
396
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,575
- Nothing. It was awesome.
397
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,017
- Great. Okay, uh, well,
who hasn't shared yet?
398
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,324
- Uh, Garrett hasn't.
- Oh. Garrett?
399
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,056
- Oh, no,
I've lived a blessed life.
400
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,462
- I have something.
401
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,503
My first apartment
was in a pet cemetery--
402
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,069
- You're saying
nothing traumatic
403
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,598
has ever happened
to you?
404
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:10,373
'Cause, you know,
this--this is a safe space.
405
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,474
- Well, when I was a kid,
406
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,405
I was really into
horseback riding.
407
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,181
I was good at it too.
408
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,509
Until Chestnut bucked me
going over a hurdle
409
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,175
and I landed on my neck.
410
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,483
[all gasp]
411
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,384
Doc said I was lucky
to walk away.
412
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,116
But I came in last place,
so...
413
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,093
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, that sounds bad.
414
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,362
- [laughing] Are you kidding?
That's, like, nothing.
415
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,091
- My worse trauma
was when Sandra
416
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,296
tried to murder me
during a tornado.
417
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,528
- I didn't try to murder you.
418
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,504
I just didn't try to save you.
419
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,802
- I love your friendship.
Frick and Frack.
420
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,104
- You know, this--
right here, right now--
421
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,067
this is my greatest trauma.
- Glenn, let's wrap this up.
422
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,637
- Yeah. I'm out of here.
- No, Dina--
423
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,375
- Look. Listen. I get it.
424
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,110
You want me to suddenly
get in touch
425
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,605
with some deep, dark emotions,
but guess what.
426
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,576
I don't have time
to whine about my issues,
427
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,375
and frankly, I am sick
of listening
428
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,117
to all you people
whine about yours.
429
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,322
Get off me!
430
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,493
Move, Brett!
431
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,726
- So, apparently
when the tornado was coming,
432
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,632
Brett was able to run
and make it to his car.
433
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,641
- And then his car
got swallowed up by the tornado?
434
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,169
- No, he just drove home.
- Oh.
435
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,666
- And then we emailed
the wrong Brett,
436
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,707
so we never knew
he was scheduled to work.
437
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,252
- Well,
I knew he wasn't dead.
438
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,278
- Yeah.
I guess you were right.
439
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,184
- Though,
just between you and me,
440
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:32,186
I thought he was dead
for sure.
441
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,849
But now look at him.
God bless.
442
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,657
Hanging out
with his best friends.
443
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,789
- Oh.
Never knew they were friends.
444
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,855
- You sure are bagging
those groceries.
445
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,203
- Oh. I thought you had
a spider on your shoulder.
446
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,271
- Oops. Oh. Got it.
There it is.
447
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,569
- [giggling]
- There it is.
448
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,870
- Is Glenn still watching?
449
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,301
- [clears throat]
Yep.
450
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,297
- Okay.
[laughs]
451
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,868
[both laugh]
452
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:57,105
- Wait. Oh, my God.
Whose foot was that?
453
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,605
- Hey, man.
I'ma take off early.
454
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:04,248
I, uh...saw a motorcycle
in the parking lot
455
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:08,764
and it's the same motorcycle
that I was riding the night...
456
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,588
it all went down.
- Okay, all right.
457
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,363
Okay, okay, I get it.
You're messing with me.
458
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,892
You can stop now.
459
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,356
- Cool.
460
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,725
- Hey, just an FYI.
461
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,833
I wasn't trying to be nosy.
I just--
462
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,795
I thought it would be cool
to know you better. That's all.
463
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,244
You know, you're my roommate,
and you're my best friend, and--
464
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,571
- Okay. First of all,
I don't need a best friend.
465
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,806
I'm an adult.
466
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,540
And if I did have
a best friend,
467
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,906
it would be
my boy Randy Mendoza.
468
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,883
We've known each other since
the second grade.
469
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,612
- Always about Randy...
470
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,747
- Look. What if I told you
I got shot in Iraq?
471
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,193
Or got drunk and hit
a bus full of nuns?
472
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,819
- Is this also in Iraq?
473
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:45,593
- Whatever it is,
it's gonna put me in a box.
474
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,725
And I don't want that.
475
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,729
- Understood.
476
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,727
Hey. D--um...does Randy know?
477
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,595
- Of course.
He's my best friend.
478
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,169
- That's messed up.
479
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,783
- Wow.
480
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,379
Really got everything
in here, huh?
481
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,952
Beef jerky...
482
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,780
beans...
483
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:11,917
pornography?
484
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:14,251
- People are gonna
need a release, Amy.
485
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,417
It could be hours down here.
486
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,756
- Look, you know
Brett is alive, right?
487
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,362
No one died.
It's all okay.
488
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,265
So, we can just head out.
489
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,668
- I'm not leaving.
490
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:33,742
- You cannot...stay...
down here!
491
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,313
- Are you being
serious right now?
492
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,682
- [gasps] Oh, God.
493
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,310
Okay, you know what?
494
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,776
Fine. I get it.
You don't want my help.
495
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,784
I give up.
I'm giving up.
496
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,917
- Great.
497
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:51,393
Oh, it's just getting sad
at this point.
498
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,434
You're so tiny!
499
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,700
- [gasps]
- Look, you know what?
500
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,728
Just for that, you don't
get a space in the shelter.
501
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,774
- Oh, I'm so sad
that I don't get a spot
502
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,399
in your little
masturbation jail.
503
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,444
- All jails
are masturbation jails.
504
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:04,800
- Look, things happen, okay?
505
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,467
You can't be prepared
for everything.
506
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,706
- No, you can't prepare
for everything,
507
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:10,780
but I can and I always do.
508
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,718
- Dina...
- Forget it.
509
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,320
You don't wanna
hear about my problems.
510
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,852
- No, I-I do.
511
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,288
Of course I do.
512
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,823
- Really?
513
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,327
[sobbing]
I couldn't sleep or eat,
514
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:31,730
so I just watched old VHS tapes
of the 1994 Winter Olympics.
515
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:35,504
I'm Team Tanya all the way,
you know? [sobs]
516
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,035
- Mm.
- I'm pretty sure
517
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,269
Nancy Kerrigan
hit herself in the leg. [sobs]
518
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:43,977
Nobody tells you at six
that a dog can't eat chocolate.
519
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,910
- Oh, wow. We're going back
to the beginning.
520
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,745
Okay.
[clears throat]
521
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,050
- And for the rest of camp,
522
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,952
all the kids called me
"Bagel Boobs."
523
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,385
[sobs]
524
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,332
I just feel like this feeling
is gonna last forever.
525
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,928
- I know.
With Adam gone,
526
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,529
I'm on my own
for the first time,
527
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,001
and I'm just--I'm terrified.
528
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,399
- Maybe don't make this
about you right now.
529
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,402
- Yeah. No. Sorry.
You go, you go.
530
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:08,844
You go.
- Okay.
531
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,998
So I think we got up
to my tenth birthday?
532
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,537
- Mm-hmm. We're at ten.
533
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:16,742
- [sobbing] It's about
to get really bad.
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