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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,801 ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 2 00:00:03,869 --> 00:00:06,804 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪ 3 00:00:06,872 --> 00:00:10,275 ♪ travel down the road and back again ♪ 4 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,244 ♪ your heart is true ♪ 5 00:00:12,311 --> 00:00:17,082 ♪ you're a pal and a confidante ♪ 6 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:20,552 ♪ and if you threw a party ♪ 7 00:00:20,619 --> 00:00:24,556 ♪ invited everyone you knew ♪ 8 00:00:24,623 --> 00:00:26,358 ♪ you would see ♪ 9 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:29,061 ♪ the biggest gift would be from me ♪ 10 00:00:29,128 --> 00:00:31,129 ♪ and the card attached would say ♪ 11 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,465 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪ 12 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,500 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪ 13 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:39,003 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪♪ 14 00:00:45,844 --> 00:00:48,780 Captioning made possible by witt/thomas/harris productions, cbs television network 15 00:00:48,847 --> 00:00:51,783 And 1992 nci caption club/ grantsmanship 16 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,456 [telephone rings] 17 00:01:03,629 --> 00:01:06,531 Well, I think we've outdone ourselves. 18 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:10,402 This is shaping up to be the best christmas ever. 19 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,137 What do you say, sophia? 20 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:15,107 Christmas, shmistmas. 21 00:01:15,174 --> 00:01:16,808 What's that supposed to mean? 22 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:20,512 Nothing. I'm just proud,ith these teeth, I can still say it. 23 00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:24,015 It's wonderful that because of this hotel 24 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:26,318 We're able to open ourselves up to strangers 25 00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:27,819 In the spirit of love. 26 00:01:27,886 --> 00:01:31,022 It'll save you travel time from one hotel to another. 27 00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:35,693 Chuy, you've been out in that kitchen all day. 28 00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:37,596 What delicious surprise have you prepared 29 00:01:37,663 --> 00:01:39,164 For tonight's christmas dinner? 30 00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,866 Enchiladas rancheros. 31 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,402 Chuy, it's christmas eve. 32 00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:46,404 You'll have to do better than that. 33 00:01:46,472 --> 00:01:51,109 If you think I'm staying in there roasting my chestnuts, you're crazy. 34 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,914 Christmas isn't exactly my favorite time of year. 35 00:01:56,982 --> 00:01:58,750 Yeah. Christmas, shmistmas. 36 00:01:58,817 --> 00:02:02,187 Hey, that's pretty good with those teeth. 37 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,188 Not weally. 38 00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:04,756 The uppers just swipped. 39 00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:08,726 I'll tell you why I don't love christmas. 40 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:10,395 I got drafted on christmas, 41 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,364 I got divorced on christmas, 42 00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:14,899 But there's one thing that's worse than those... 43 00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:18,603 El queque navidad de los castillos. 44 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:19,604 What's that? 45 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,373 "the castillos walking christmas cake." 46 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,575 It ruined christmas for me forever. 47 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,578 It was this promotional idea my dad came up with 48 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,080 To get people into the restaurant on christmas. 49 00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:31,883 I had to dress up as a layer cake 50 00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:33,885 And walk amongst the customers. 51 00:02:33,952 --> 00:02:35,387 I had this big headdress 52 00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:37,722 Made out of whipped cream and spoons. 53 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,224 People picked bites off me. 54 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:42,760 I felt like tippi hedren in the birds. 55 00:02:42,828 --> 00:02:46,331 Boy, whatever happened to normal christmas traditions? 56 00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:47,332 I know. 57 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,567 That reminds me-- 58 00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:51,002 I have to melt cheese on my pillow, 59 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:54,172 Or santa won't fill my stocking with stew. 60 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,545 No. No, I understand. 61 00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,547 Oh, it'll be my pleasure to help out. 62 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,048 Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 63 00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:05,983 O.K., yeah. You're very welcome. 64 00:03:06,051 --> 00:03:07,185 Who was that? 65 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,187 A friend at the children's hospital. 66 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,690 They want me to play santa claus tomorrow. 67 00:03:11,757 --> 00:03:13,225 Their original santa fell through. 68 00:03:13,292 --> 00:03:14,593 Oh, roland, 69 00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:16,094 This is quite an honor. 70 00:03:16,161 --> 00:03:18,430 I hope you've had the necessary training. 71 00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:22,300 I'll just put on a red suit and pass out gifts. 72 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,737 Oh, no, you're not, buster! 73 00:03:25,804 --> 00:03:26,938 What? 74 00:03:27,005 --> 00:03:29,608 The real santa doesn't go through the motions. 75 00:03:29,675 --> 00:03:31,943 You're going to do this right. 76 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:33,845 Now, let's see your belly. 77 00:03:35,314 --> 00:03:36,748 I beg your pardon? 78 00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:38,550 Your belly, mister! 79 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,553 I hope you can make it shake 80 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:44,055 Like a bowl full of jelly. 81 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,189 Show him, blanche. 82 00:03:53,932 --> 00:03:56,200 Rose, I do 150 sit-ups every night 83 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,703 To get my stomach to look like this. 84 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,004 Great-- a taut santa. 85 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:03,541 We have a lot of work to do, my friend. 86 00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,543 That's not much of a beard. 87 00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:07,712 I hope you can come up with 88 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,914 Some really good facial hair by tomorrow. 89 00:04:09,982 --> 00:04:11,483 Show him, sophia. 90 00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:34,171 Hewwo, santa. 91 00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:35,906 Hel--aah! 92 00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:39,343 I'm warning you, little girl. 93 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,078 You pinch santa there again, 94 00:04:41,145 --> 00:04:44,081 He's going to wing your wittle neck. 95 00:04:44,148 --> 00:04:46,683 All right, now ask her what she wants. 96 00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:49,586 What do you want for christmas, little girl? 97 00:04:49,653 --> 00:04:52,923 I want to stay on your lap till new year's. 98 00:04:52,991 --> 00:04:54,724 Sophia! 99 00:04:54,792 --> 00:04:57,194 How about a sponge bath from the elves? 100 00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:58,428 Get off me, sophia. 101 00:04:58,496 --> 00:05:00,030 Jolly. Be jolly. 102 00:05:00,098 --> 00:05:02,532 Get off me, you disgusting little old woman! 103 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,067 Ho ho ho ho! 104 00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:06,636 You're doing much better, roland. 105 00:05:06,704 --> 00:05:08,972 Don't forget that twinkle in your eye! 106 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,008 Yes, sir, may I help you? 107 00:05:11,075 --> 00:05:13,510 I'm dr. Charles from the inner strength seminars. 108 00:05:13,577 --> 00:05:14,711 Delighted to meet you. 109 00:05:14,779 --> 00:05:16,479 Your group's checking in today. 110 00:05:16,547 --> 00:05:18,148 Get all this cleaned up. 111 00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:19,116 Excuse me? 112 00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:21,118 Get rid of all these decorations. 113 00:05:21,185 --> 00:05:25,722 The woman on the telephone promised me a strictly yuletide-free environment. 114 00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:28,358 She said we would totally ignore christmas? 115 00:05:28,426 --> 00:05:30,160 Actually, she said, "christmas, shmistmas," 116 00:05:30,228 --> 00:05:32,195 Which I found rather impressive. 117 00:05:33,697 --> 00:05:34,998 Wait, I don't understand. 118 00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,300 Who doesn't like christmas? 119 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,835 This is a group of recently divorced people, 120 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,437 Bitter over their shattered dreams. 121 00:05:40,504 --> 00:05:42,372 My whole therapy is to take people 122 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,374 Who are traumatized over christmas 123 00:05:44,442 --> 00:05:46,876 And put them in a non-festive environment. 124 00:05:46,945 --> 00:05:48,745 What's a couple of wreaths? 125 00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:50,780 Perhaps we'll cancel our 15 rooms. 126 00:05:50,848 --> 00:05:54,251 What is a wreath, anyway? 127 00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:55,752 Some people say it's 128 00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:57,254 A symbol of hope. 129 00:05:57,322 --> 00:06:00,324 I say it's a fire hazard with holly. 130 00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:03,093 Any signs of christmas whatsoever, 131 00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:05,295 And these people will check out. 132 00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:06,830 Well, that's just rotten. 133 00:06:06,897 --> 00:06:09,799 Sophia, you've just ruined christmas for all of us. 134 00:06:09,867 --> 00:06:12,302 I can't believe you'd do something so stupid. 135 00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:14,338 What do you say for yourself? 136 00:06:14,405 --> 00:06:16,373 God bless us, everyone. 137 00:06:20,778 --> 00:06:22,012 What's that mean? 138 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,349 Nothing. I'm trying to get out of it by being cute. 139 00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:26,516 Look... 140 00:06:26,584 --> 00:06:29,219 We'll just have to make the best of this. 141 00:06:29,287 --> 00:06:31,188 We're responsible adults. We can handle it. 142 00:06:31,255 --> 00:06:33,656 ♪ deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 143 00:06:33,724 --> 00:06:36,994 ♪ fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪♪ 144 00:06:37,061 --> 00:06:38,395 We need to talk, rose. 145 00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:39,929 Oh, rose isn't here! 146 00:06:39,998 --> 00:06:43,800 I'm nicodemus, santa's number one helper-in-chief! 147 00:06:46,804 --> 00:06:49,239 Rose, honey, we've got some bad news. 148 00:06:49,307 --> 00:06:51,375 There's been a terrible mix-up. 149 00:06:51,442 --> 00:06:52,876 We cannot mention christmas 150 00:06:52,943 --> 00:06:54,844 Around the guests we've got coming. 151 00:06:54,912 --> 00:06:55,845 What? 152 00:06:55,913 --> 00:06:57,981 The costume's got to go. 153 00:06:58,049 --> 00:06:58,982 No way! 154 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:01,651 I'm going to wear my elf costume, 155 00:07:01,719 --> 00:07:04,388 Or I'm going to walk around naked. 156 00:07:04,455 --> 00:07:08,858 I know. I've said the same thing myself many times. 157 00:07:12,196 --> 00:07:13,163 But, honey, 158 00:07:13,231 --> 00:07:16,166 They'll check out if they see or hear 159 00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:17,734 Anytng related to christmas. 160 00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:21,104 Can't we secretly celebrate in one of our rooms? 161 00:07:21,172 --> 00:07:23,106 If they hear a christmas carol 162 00:07:23,174 --> 00:07:24,207 Or laughter 163 00:07:24,275 --> 00:07:25,975 Or merriment of any kind, they'll just leave. 164 00:07:26,044 --> 00:07:28,111 Oh, but it's christmas! 165 00:07:28,179 --> 00:07:30,547 And we'll all be so disappointed 166 00:07:30,614 --> 00:07:32,516 If we can't have christmas. 167 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,317 The tree's in the dumpster 168 00:07:34,385 --> 00:07:36,653 And I feel like a million bucks. 169 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,621 This will be the best christmas-- 170 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:39,889 No caroling, no gifts, 171 00:07:39,957 --> 00:07:41,925 No dinner to clean up afterwards-- 172 00:07:41,992 --> 00:07:43,760 No reminders of christmas whatsoever. 173 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:46,530 Didn't you forget to say, "bah, humbug"? 174 00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:48,031 So I did. 175 00:07:48,099 --> 00:07:49,832 Bah, humbug! 176 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,634 Bah, humbug. 177 00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:55,772 Chuy, every time you say "bah, humbug," an elf cries. 178 00:07:55,839 --> 00:07:58,508 Rose, they're crying because they're lonely little men 179 00:07:58,576 --> 00:08:03,346 Whose dating pool consists of reindeer and each other. 180 00:08:03,414 --> 00:08:04,814 Look, I'm sorry, 181 00:08:04,882 --> 00:08:07,350 We just obviously have different ideas about christmas. 182 00:08:07,418 --> 00:08:10,187 People shouldn't go into hock up to their ears 183 00:08:10,254 --> 00:08:11,688 To buy gifts for people 184 00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,023 Who are just going to desert them. 185 00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:15,959 Christmas-- who needs it? 186 00:08:16,026 --> 00:08:17,627 Bah, humbug! 187 00:08:17,695 --> 00:08:19,463 Ohh! 188 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:23,032 How can anybody be so cruel on christmas eve? 189 00:08:24,868 --> 00:08:26,536 Let's fire him! 190 00:08:34,378 --> 00:08:35,645 Christmas... 191 00:08:35,713 --> 00:08:37,814 Bah, humbug. 192 00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:39,316 Christmas... 193 00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:40,950 Huh! 194 00:08:41,018 --> 00:08:43,487 Oh. I was having a dream. 195 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,122 Yeah, I was just having-- 196 00:08:45,189 --> 00:08:46,789 Aah! 197 00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:48,492 Chuy... 198 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,661 Chuy castillos. 199 00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:53,196 Who are you? 200 00:08:57,768 --> 00:09:00,270 Rose? What are you doing in my bedroom? 201 00:09:00,338 --> 00:09:03,072 I am the ghost of christmas past. 202 00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,341 What? 203 00:09:04,408 --> 00:09:08,145 Why am I wearing this goofy hat? 204 00:09:08,212 --> 00:09:11,014 Haven't you ever had a christmas dream before? 205 00:09:11,081 --> 00:09:12,015 Never! 206 00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:15,318 They only come to those who wait. 207 00:09:15,386 --> 00:09:17,086 No, that's something else. 208 00:09:20,824 --> 00:09:22,526 You're not really here. 209 00:09:22,593 --> 00:09:26,696 You're just something I ate at woodstock. 210 00:09:26,764 --> 00:09:28,865 Chuy castillos... 211 00:09:28,932 --> 00:09:31,868 You have neglected the spirit of christmas 212 00:09:31,935 --> 00:09:34,871 And the welfare of your fellow man. 213 00:09:34,938 --> 00:09:39,142 I am going to take you back to your childhood. 214 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:42,145 O.K., but can we skip junior high? 215 00:09:42,213 --> 00:09:45,715 I had zits and no friends. 216 00:09:45,783 --> 00:09:47,784 Save it for the shrink. 217 00:09:49,487 --> 00:09:51,721 Come with me. 218 00:09:51,789 --> 00:09:53,890 Come with me. 219 00:09:53,957 --> 00:09:55,892 Come with me. 220 00:09:55,959 --> 00:09:57,260 Come with me. 221 00:09:57,328 --> 00:09:59,862 Come with me. 222 00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:04,434 My mistake. 223 00:10:04,502 --> 00:10:06,336 My mistake. 224 00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:08,938 My mistake. 225 00:10:09,006 --> 00:10:10,640 My mistake. 226 00:10:19,415 --> 00:10:22,818 Behold--the kitchen of your father's restaurant 227 00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:25,687 That you left 30 years ago. 228 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:29,658 This is the kitchen of the hotel I left 30 minutes ago. 229 00:10:29,725 --> 00:10:32,194 Was there an oven in your father's kitchen? 230 00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:33,228 Yes. 231 00:10:33,296 --> 00:10:36,031 Was there a sink in your father's kitchen? 232 00:10:36,099 --> 00:10:37,166 Yes. 233 00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:40,803 Then shut up and work with me on this. 234 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,808 Hey, it's my pop. 235 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:49,812 I never realized what a good-looking man he was. 236 00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:52,380 Hey, pop, looking good! 237 00:10:52,448 --> 00:10:55,184 He can neither see nor hear us. 238 00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:56,651 Who said that? 239 00:10:58,521 --> 00:11:00,122 O.K., chuy... 240 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:01,890 Chuy, come out! 241 00:11:01,958 --> 00:11:03,225 No! 242 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:06,161 Chuy, all the customers are waiting for you. 243 00:11:06,229 --> 00:11:08,096 Make them go away! 244 00:11:08,164 --> 00:11:09,764 I can't do that. 245 00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:13,335 They're all waiting for el queque navidad de los castillos. 246 00:11:13,402 --> 00:11:15,603 We can't have christmas without you. 247 00:11:15,671 --> 00:11:17,605 Here it comes. I can't look. 248 00:11:17,673 --> 00:11:19,174 Look, look. 249 00:11:19,242 --> 00:11:21,109 How bad can it be? 250 00:11:30,253 --> 00:11:31,186 I-- 251 00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:32,754 Ahem. 252 00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:35,657 I feel stupid. 253 00:11:35,725 --> 00:11:37,159 You tell him, kid. 254 00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:38,160 Stupid? 255 00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:41,529 The most important member of our family? 256 00:11:41,597 --> 00:11:44,366 You have been given a great honor. 257 00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:47,535 You get to walk into the room with dignity, 258 00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:51,039 Carrying 12 generations of castillos tradition, 259 00:11:51,107 --> 00:11:52,540 So stand tall. 260 00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:56,444 Now come here. I got to fill up that hat. 261 00:12:03,719 --> 00:12:05,087 Know what it's like 262 00:12:05,154 --> 00:12:07,455 To have your head filled with whipped cream? 263 00:12:07,523 --> 00:12:08,556 Mm-hmm. 264 00:12:12,095 --> 00:12:13,161 Tell me again-- 265 00:12:13,229 --> 00:12:15,497 Why am I reliving this humiliation? 266 00:12:15,564 --> 00:12:18,833 Chuy castillos, your father was trying to teach you 267 00:12:18,902 --> 00:12:20,335 A valuable lesson, 268 00:12:20,403 --> 00:12:22,337 But because of your embarrassment, 269 00:12:22,405 --> 00:12:25,040 You didn't listen. 270 00:12:25,108 --> 00:12:26,008 Remember, chuy-- 271 00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:28,676 We open our restaurant on christmas 272 00:12:28,744 --> 00:12:31,213 So people without a loving family like ours 273 00:12:31,281 --> 00:12:33,215 Can have a nice, warm, friendly place 274 00:12:33,283 --> 00:12:34,716 To celebrate the holidays. 275 00:12:34,784 --> 00:12:37,386 This is what christmas is all about-- 276 00:12:37,453 --> 00:12:39,187 The joy of giving. 277 00:12:39,255 --> 00:12:40,688 I know that, papa, 278 00:12:40,756 --> 00:12:43,491 But why do I have to wear the costume? 279 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:44,859 Because. 280 00:12:44,928 --> 00:12:47,695 A two-drink minimum requires a floor show. 281 00:12:47,763 --> 00:12:49,731 Now get out there. Come on. 282 00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,534 I don't know about you, 283 00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:54,269 But I was touched. 284 00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:58,873 O.K., ghost of christmas past-- 285 00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,608 Where'd she go? 286 00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:04,046 Whoa! Who are you? 287 00:13:04,113 --> 00:13:08,783 I am the ghost of christmas presents. 288 00:13:08,851 --> 00:13:09,818 The ghost of christmas presents? 289 00:13:11,254 --> 00:13:12,421 I've come to find out 290 00:13:12,488 --> 00:13:14,056 What presents you bought. 291 00:13:14,123 --> 00:13:15,057 For who? 292 00:13:15,124 --> 00:13:16,458 For that young fellow, 293 00:13:16,525 --> 00:13:17,792 Those two older ladies, 294 00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:21,896 And that gorgeous young southern girl. 295 00:13:21,965 --> 00:13:23,398 I didn't get them anything. 296 00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:25,334 It's not like they're family. 297 00:13:25,401 --> 00:13:29,304 Really? I wonder if they feel that way about you. 298 00:13:29,372 --> 00:13:30,839 Come and look. 299 00:13:32,608 --> 00:13:33,708 ♪ two turtle doves ♪ 300 00:13:33,776 --> 00:13:37,112 ♪ and a partridge in a pear tree ♪♪ 301 00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,613 O.K., o.K., I believe you. 302 00:13:38,681 --> 00:13:40,615 There is a 48-day version. 303 00:13:40,683 --> 00:13:43,618 The last time I was in a place this cold, 304 00:13:43,686 --> 00:13:46,221 They were hanging up jimmy hoffa by his-- 305 00:13:46,289 --> 00:13:48,223 ♪ jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 306 00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,459 ♪ jingle all the way ♪♪ 307 00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:52,294 Can we get out of here? 308 00:13:52,362 --> 00:13:53,595 Oh, I'm so sorry. 309 00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:56,398 This is the only place we can celebrate 310 00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:57,932 Without upsetting the guests. 311 00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:01,236 I think we all need some more eggnog. 312 00:14:05,341 --> 00:14:08,543 You want some nutmeg sprinkled on top of that? 313 00:14:08,611 --> 00:14:11,046 Can we get out of here now, please? 314 00:14:11,114 --> 00:14:13,448 That's not a very nice christmas attitude 315 00:14:13,516 --> 00:14:15,917 For someone who wants to play st. Nick. 316 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:19,454 Come on, let's hear those reindeer names, buster! 317 00:14:19,522 --> 00:14:22,090 Dancer, prancer, 318 00:14:22,158 --> 00:14:23,758 Donner, blitzen, 319 00:14:23,826 --> 00:14:25,827 Freezin', fricken', mother-- 320 00:14:25,895 --> 00:14:27,095 Roland! 321 00:14:30,299 --> 00:14:33,301 Look, we're all cold, 322 00:14:33,369 --> 00:14:36,838 But we can't leave until we open our presents. 323 00:14:36,906 --> 00:14:38,840 We can't open our presents yet. 324 00:14:38,908 --> 00:14:41,143 Chuy's still in his room, 325 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,512 Probably wrapping all our gifts. 326 00:14:43,579 --> 00:14:46,581 Oops. 327 00:14:46,649 --> 00:14:48,783 We can't open presents till chuy gets here. 328 00:14:48,851 --> 00:14:50,285 He's part of the family. 329 00:14:50,353 --> 00:14:52,087 You squirming yet? 330 00:14:52,155 --> 00:14:54,222 Yeah, I'm squirming, I'm squirming. 331 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:55,924 Boy, it's cold. 332 00:14:55,991 --> 00:14:57,259 I'm frozen stiff. 333 00:14:57,326 --> 00:15:00,429 All I can move is my mouth. 334 00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:04,132 There's a no-win situation. 335 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,134 I never thought I'd say this, 336 00:15:06,202 --> 00:15:07,635 But this has really been 337 00:15:07,703 --> 00:15:08,870 A wonderful christmas. 338 00:15:08,938 --> 00:15:10,939 It's brought us closer together. 339 00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:12,941 We may not have the trimmings, 340 00:15:13,008 --> 00:15:14,609 But we've got each other. 341 00:15:14,677 --> 00:15:15,944 That's really more important 342 00:15:16,011 --> 00:15:18,547 Than all the fancy parties and presents. 343 00:15:18,614 --> 00:15:20,549 That's the thing about christmas-- 344 00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:22,551 You know where your home is. 345 00:15:22,618 --> 00:15:24,519 Whether you can get there or not, 346 00:15:24,587 --> 00:15:26,054 You know where it is. 347 00:15:26,122 --> 00:15:27,055 Right here. 348 00:15:27,123 --> 00:15:28,957 Yeah. A toast, then... 349 00:15:29,024 --> 00:15:30,792 To us. 350 00:15:30,859 --> 00:15:31,793 Ah. 351 00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:32,794 And chuy. 352 00:15:32,861 --> 00:15:34,062 To absent friends. 353 00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:35,564 Yeah. Merry christmas. 354 00:15:35,631 --> 00:15:36,531 Merry christmas. 355 00:15:36,599 --> 00:15:38,100 Merry christmas. I love you. 356 00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:40,469 So how do you feel? 357 00:15:40,536 --> 00:15:42,137 About this big. 358 00:15:42,205 --> 00:15:45,773 Yeah, I'm cold, too. Let's get out of here. 359 00:15:46,775 --> 00:15:48,543 Huh! 360 00:15:48,611 --> 00:15:50,078 What a nightmare! 361 00:15:50,146 --> 00:15:52,981 You're no andy garcia yourself. 362 00:15:55,751 --> 00:15:57,319 Who are you? 363 00:15:57,386 --> 00:15:58,753 Topper. 364 00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:01,423 I'm the ghost of christmas yet to come. 365 00:16:01,491 --> 00:16:04,259 You're not much for picking up on a pattern. 366 00:16:04,327 --> 00:16:05,560 Look at the tv. 367 00:16:05,628 --> 00:16:08,997 Hey...It's me. 368 00:16:09,064 --> 00:16:11,133 That's right. It's your future. 369 00:16:13,302 --> 00:16:15,737 How far in the future are we? 370 00:16:15,804 --> 00:16:17,705 It's an all-gay army now. 371 00:16:17,773 --> 00:16:19,707 They haven't won any wars, 372 00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:22,277 But the parades are fabulous. 373 00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:25,147 Psst! 374 00:16:27,316 --> 00:16:29,584 Christmas gift exchange at 5:00. 375 00:16:29,652 --> 00:16:31,186 What are you, crazy? 376 00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:34,156 The new owner doesn't allow us to celebrate christmas! 377 00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:35,123 New owner? 378 00:16:35,191 --> 00:16:37,725 You mean the ladies lose the hotel? 379 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:40,195 Rose, rose, it was horrible! 380 00:16:40,263 --> 00:16:42,297 Oh, blanche, what's wrong? 381 00:16:42,365 --> 00:16:44,699 I just came from my church social. 382 00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:47,702 Henry richards, the most eligible man in the congregation... 383 00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:49,538 He tried to-- 384 00:16:49,605 --> 00:16:51,373 He tried to-- 385 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,407 Kiss me. 386 00:16:52,475 --> 00:16:53,708 Oh! 387 00:16:53,776 --> 00:16:56,278 I just felt so unclean. 388 00:16:56,345 --> 00:16:58,780 I simply cannot ever look at another man 389 00:16:58,847 --> 00:17:01,949 Ever since that horrible, evil thing married me 390 00:17:02,017 --> 00:17:04,586 And then divorced me to get this hotel. 391 00:17:04,654 --> 00:17:05,853 Oh, I hate him! 392 00:17:05,921 --> 00:17:07,121 I hate him, too. 393 00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:10,024 Hey, who is this monster who bought the hel? 394 00:17:10,092 --> 00:17:13,528 [roland] oh, look. It's mr. Castillos, 395 00:17:13,596 --> 00:17:14,796 Prince of business, 396 00:17:14,863 --> 00:17:16,798 Who drives all lesser mortals before him 397 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:18,300 Like leaves in a storm. 398 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,267 What's up? 399 00:17:19,335 --> 00:17:20,802 Now do you see? 400 00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:24,272 Your hatred of christmas turned you into a greedy, selfish monster 401 00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:25,773 Who everybody hates. 402 00:17:25,841 --> 00:17:27,875 Surely not everybody can hate me. 403 00:17:27,943 --> 00:17:29,744 What about sophia? 404 00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:31,213 Hey, where's sophia? 405 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:35,450 Oh, mr. Castillos, I know how you hate and despise christmas, 406 00:17:35,518 --> 00:17:38,953 But I was wondering if you could find it in your heart 407 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,155 To let us have a little celebration? 408 00:17:41,224 --> 00:17:43,291 You want a celebration? 409 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:44,259 O.K. 410 00:17:44,327 --> 00:17:46,928 But we celebrate my way. 411 00:17:46,995 --> 00:17:49,130 Oh, spoonhead! 412 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,467 Spoonhead, come out here! 413 00:17:52,535 --> 00:17:55,136 Ha ha ha ha ha! 414 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:58,206 Dance, spoonhead! Dance, I say! 415 00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:08,216 This is terrible! 416 00:18:08,284 --> 00:18:11,620 Isn't there anything I can do to stop this from happening? 417 00:18:11,687 --> 00:18:12,687 Of course. 418 00:18:12,755 --> 00:18:15,223 Change your ways and you change the future. 419 00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:17,225 I got to go now. 420 00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:20,128 Oh, man, what a dream! 421 00:18:20,195 --> 00:18:23,231 It's still christmas. I haven't missed it. 422 00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:30,538 Merry christmas, everybody! 423 00:18:31,574 --> 00:18:32,741 The freezer! 424 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,479 Aah! 425 00:18:41,984 --> 00:18:43,652 Oh, man... 426 00:18:43,719 --> 00:18:45,687 Talk about gilding the lily. 427 00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:48,356 All right, I get it, I get it! 428 00:18:48,424 --> 00:18:49,557 No more goofy cap. 429 00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:52,927 I am awake... And I still have time! 430 00:18:56,666 --> 00:18:59,200 And thanks to inner strength seminars, 431 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:03,037 My horrible memories of that so-called holiday 432 00:19:03,105 --> 00:19:04,939 Are almost completely gone. 433 00:19:09,345 --> 00:19:10,412 Thank you. 434 00:19:10,479 --> 00:19:12,914 Thank you, wanda, for that very special testimony 435 00:19:12,981 --> 00:19:14,982 On a day like any other day. 436 00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:16,518 Merry christmas! 437 00:19:16,585 --> 00:19:18,486 Merry christmas, everybody! 438 00:19:18,554 --> 00:19:19,688 Will you stop it? 439 00:19:19,755 --> 00:19:21,889 They're trying to get over christmas! 440 00:19:21,957 --> 00:19:24,292 I used to be just like you. 441 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,928 Let me tell you this little story, o.K.? 442 00:19:26,995 --> 00:19:29,431 When I was a kid, I hated christmas. 443 00:19:29,498 --> 00:19:32,934 My dad was a fair man, but he worked us hard 444 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:34,936 And had this strange way of celebrating christmas. 445 00:19:35,003 --> 00:19:37,739 Yeah. Rose, thank you for everything you've done. 446 00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,741 I hope I don't let you down. 447 00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:40,875 Oh, don't worry. 448 00:19:40,943 --> 00:19:43,411 The minute you put on that red jacket 449 00:19:43,479 --> 00:19:45,413 And grab your sack of goodies, 450 00:19:45,481 --> 00:19:48,583 You can't help but bring pleasure to people's lives. 451 00:19:48,651 --> 00:19:49,718 Merry christmas, everybody! 452 00:19:49,785 --> 00:19:50,719 Merry christmas! 453 00:19:50,786 --> 00:19:52,554 Come on in. 454 00:19:52,621 --> 00:19:54,556 Hey, wait a minute! What is this? 455 00:19:54,623 --> 00:19:56,358 I thought you hated christmas! 456 00:19:56,425 --> 00:20:00,362 Well, we did, but chuy told us about this amazing dream he had, 457 00:20:00,429 --> 00:20:02,664 And after checking his blood alcohol level, 458 00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:04,532 It really got us thinking. 459 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,567 Chuy's right. 460 00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:07,769 Christmas isn't a time to be self-involved, 461 00:20:07,837 --> 00:20:10,271 It's a time for sharing your life with others. 462 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:12,774 Maybe if I was a licensed therapist, 463 00:20:12,842 --> 00:20:14,509 I'd have kno that. 464 00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:17,979 This is what I call a real christmas celebration-- 465 00:20:18,046 --> 00:20:21,683 Everybody talking and sharing and acting jolly. 466 00:20:21,751 --> 00:20:24,352 Did somebody say jolly? 467 00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:26,187 Oh-ho-ho! 468 00:20:26,255 --> 00:20:28,155 Look at you! You're so authentic! 469 00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:29,691 What do you say, blanche? 470 00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:31,760 Hey, those are my boots. 471 00:20:34,129 --> 00:20:36,498 Let's sing some christmas carols. 472 00:20:36,565 --> 00:20:38,966 I don't know if they're ready for carols. 473 00:20:39,034 --> 00:20:40,702 Let's give it a shot. 474 00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:44,338 ♪ o come, all ye faithful ♪ 475 00:20:44,407 --> 00:20:47,509 [singing perfect harmony] ♪ joyful and triumphant ♪ 476 00:20:47,576 --> 00:20:49,343 ♪ o come ye ♪ 477 00:20:49,412 --> 00:20:54,549 ♪ o come ye to bethlehem... ♪ 478 00:20:54,617 --> 00:20:55,650 Sophia... 479 00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:58,352 You're being awful quiet through all of this. 480 00:20:58,421 --> 00:21:00,221 Don't you have something to say? 481 00:21:00,289 --> 00:21:02,223 Actually, I do. 482 00:21:02,291 --> 00:21:05,326 Merry christmas, shmistmas to all... 483 00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:09,130 And to all a good night. 484 00:21:09,197 --> 00:21:14,135 ♪ o come let us adore him ♪ 485 00:21:14,202 --> 00:21:19,307 ♪ christ the lord ♪ 486 00:21:19,374 --> 00:21:23,010 ♪ sing, - choirs of angels... ♪♪ 487 00:21:23,078 --> 00:21:26,080 Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc. 33774

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