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1
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- This is the chance of a lifetime, Mr. Tanaka.
- Oh?
2
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:59,084
But I need big bait, I need something unique,
3
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,525
something really valuable.
4
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,552
How valuable?
5
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:06,258
This valuable.
6
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:09,894
Do you know how much that is worth?
It is totally priceless.
7
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:14,396
No one in the art world even knows
that it is here in the West.
8
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Oh, Mr. Tanaka.
9
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,972
When Captain Ahab went looking for Moby Dick,
10
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,414
he didn't use frozen peas.
11
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,112
Is you in or is you ain't?
12
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,321
I think I'm in.
13
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,624
Now I know for a fact...
14
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:48,164
that recently Harry Catapodis
spent one and a half million dollars in Russia,
15
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,608
buying what he calls "trinkets".
16
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,942
If your Rublev icon isn't an expensive trinket,
I don't know what is.
17
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:57,245
That's why I plan to ask for $3 million.
18
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,410
What? $3 million?
19
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,477
It is insured for 10 million.
20
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:05,218
If he doesn't think it's a bargain, he won't bite.
21
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:09,187
Lovejoy, I think I have changed my mind.
22
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:14,493
I can see that this operation
is going to cost more than we will recover.
23
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:19,198
Mr. Tanaka, he's not actually
going to buy the icon,
24
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:21,104
only believe he is.
25
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,109
He's gone to a lot of trouble.
At least hear him out.
26
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,170
What do you have there?
27
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,184
I have here a document,
28
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:35,949
which I had made at my own expense.
29
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,722
Hey, this is written in Russian.
30
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,192
Oh, no shit, Sherlock?
31
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,627
It looks rather ancient.
32
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,993
Smells old, too. What does it say, Lovejoy?
33
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:53,130
This document was written in 1850.
34
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,700
Right? It tells the story of your icon.
35
00:02:56,743 --> 00:03:01,476
It says that in the 18th century,
prior to a visit from Catherine the Great
36
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,982
to Vladimir, a town near Moscow,
37
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,884
where and Andrei Rublev screen
was being dismantled,
38
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,115
icons were being taken from the screen
39
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,885
and given to various churches.
40
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:15,019
But some of them were taken
by the old believers.
41
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:18,394
- Old what?
- Pious Russian families
42
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,865
who keep and guard the icons through the ages
43
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,801
and pass them on
from generation to generation.
44
00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:28,034
Your icon is one of those
owned by the old believers.
45
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,735
Did you make that up?
46
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:33,576
Well, yes and no. There are still
Andrei Rublev icons unaccounted for.
47
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,844
They're worth millions.
Only banks can afford them.
48
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,215
Mr. Tanaka will tell you.
Where did you get yours?
49
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:42,653
From a certain eastern European country.
50
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:47,023
It was used as part payment of a large loan.
51
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,585
You see? They're unobtainable.
52
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:55,192
So we're going to tell Catapodis that
this family wants to sell theirs for hard cash.
53
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,863
Catapodis will be very angry with you
54
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:01,567
when he finds out
that you cheated him out of $3 million.
55
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:04,099
Maybe he will even kill you.
56
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:05,667
Tanaka's right, Lovejoy.
57
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,078
Harry's got some very heavy connections.
58
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,680
Won't be me that's doing the swindling.
59
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,151
I'll leave that to my man.
60
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,089
Is your man trustworthy?
61
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:20,354
No, but when it comes to cons,
62
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,089
Mordechai has got
one of the best track records there is.
63
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,393
What exactly do you need from me?
64
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:34,238
I need to copy the Rublev icon,
I need a war chest of £10,000
65
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,242
and I want a promise from both of you
66
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,110
not to be in touch with Harry Catapodis
until this thing is all over.
67
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,137
Do you trust him, Mrs. Lynch?
68
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,743
Don't forget, we're the ones
who asked him to handle this.
69
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,923
Then I'll give you the money.
70
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,119
You pay him and keep accounts.
71
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,626
Agreed.
72
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,130
On one condition.
73
00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:01,031
The Rublev goes nowhere without Watanabe.
74
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,297
Not even for one single moment.
75
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,937
If anything goes wrong, Lovejoy,
you finish up as sushi.
76
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,153
(Prays in Latin)
77
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,827
What on earth is he doing?
78
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,990
He's praying for a miracle.
79
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:12,763
Seigneur, rendez-moi mes cheveux.
80
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,471
Je vous en prie.
81
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,306
Pull yourself together, Marcel.
82
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,278
Your hair's too far gone,
83
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,247
even for an act of God.
84
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:29,387
Marcel, this is Mrs. Lynch.
85
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,388
Enchanté.
86
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,022
- And this is Miki Watanabe.
- Enchanté.
87
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:38,957
Miki will be with the icon at all times.
88
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:44,368
It will arrive by armored vehicle every morning
and leave by armored vehicle every evening.
89
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,894
Aha.
90
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,137
Just look at it.
91
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:54,776
Imagine Rublev's state of mind
to paint such a thing.
92
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,305
Without mysticism,
93
00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,444
man can achieve nothing great.
94
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,682
Ah, it glows.
95
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,683
It's vibrant.
96
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,728
How exact do you want this copy?
97
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,391
Exact.
98
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,368
- Lovejoy?
- Yes?
99
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,268
Exactly who is that man?
100
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,933
Seems like he rows with only one oar.
101
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,373
Marcel Jaworski,
102
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:27,311
finest, baldest and poorest
icon restorer in Europe.
103
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:30,315
Poorest? You just paid him
£1,000 for a week's work.
104
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,011
No, that'll all be gone by next week
on hair restorer.
105
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,519
You think he's flaky?
106
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,146
You ain't seen nothing yet.
107
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,178
Oh.
108
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,293
Ma Nishma? Ma Nishma?
109
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:44,421
How is the boychik?
How are you, Lovejoy?
110
00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:49,800
Fine. This is the Mrs. Lynch I was telling
you about. Mordechai, an old friend of mine.
111
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:54,034
- Pleased to meet you, Mordechai.
- The pleasure's mine, the pleasure's mine.
112
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,200
Please, take a seat, take a seat.
113
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,142
Thank you.
114
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,407
Can I get you a glass of tea?
115
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,846
How about a G&T?
116
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,316
Lovejoy, gin and tonic!
117
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,277
Madam?
118
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,915
Yes, gin and tonic would be just fine, thank you.
119
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,421
Ah, yes, gin and tonic coming up.
120
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:18,853
(Jewish accent lapses) Sorry to hear
you got blowed by this Greek gonif.
121
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:22,766
But we'll get it all back for you, Mrs. Lynch.
Every penny plus interest.
122
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,930
Believe me, I know these things.
123
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,997
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
124
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,769
Bacon?
125
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,572
Well, some do, some don't.
126
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,111
There's only one thing wrong
with this scheme of yours, Lovejoy.
127
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:38,639
What's that?
128
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,450
A couple of genuine
Russian matelots I can supply -
129
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:47,187
boys with so much utzpah you'd buy
the Battleship Potemkin from them for cash.
130
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,215
But...
131
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,990
Enjoy, enjoy.
132
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,656
But?
133
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:55,064
But the one flaw in your plan, Lovejoy, is this.
134
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,968
Where in God's name
are we going to get a Russian ship from?
135
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,472
I mean, they're not exactly locks and bangles.
136
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,998
Mordechai, part of the reason
I've brought you in on this gig
137
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,240
is because of a small but important
conversation we had a while ago
138
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,248
about your brother-in-law, the docker.
139
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:13,582
The one who was so connected
with Russian ships he fed his cat caviar.
140
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:14,984
Oh, you mean Moshef.
141
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,122
Yes, well, I'm...
142
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:20,592
No, I'm afraid... I'm afraid
he don't work there no more.
143
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:24,426
He... He got three years
for stealing the ship's lifeboat.
144
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:26,829
- Oh.
- Yeah.
145
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,857
Wait a minute.
146
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:33,929
I think I know someone who can get us a ship.
In fact, I think he owns a shipping company.
147
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,372
How well do you know him?
148
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,741
He asked me to marry him
a couple of times but I wouldn't dream of it.
149
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,474
And I'm afraid he doesn't serve his cat caviar.
150
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,953
So, did you spot the deliberate mistake?
151
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,217
No, can't say I did. What was it?
152
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,823
Mordechai's not Jewish.
153
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:57,761
He's not Jewish? You've got to be kidding.
154
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,992
He just talks and dresses that way.
155
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,591
Is he a little...
156
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:05,661
Crazy? No. Sane as you or I.
157
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:10,608
He reckons the public have respect for uniforms.
They think they know who they're dealing with.
158
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,167
Gives him an edge.
159
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,216
That's the spirit, lads.
160
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,011
See?
161
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,648
Yes.
162
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:27,919
Keep at it.
163
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,858
So...
164
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,892
You still miss Donald, do you?
165
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,902
Sure I do.
166
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:46,307
Sometimes I miss him so much that I feel
like I'm the only person left on the earth.
167
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:51,580
Nights are the hardest.
168
00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:52,948
I'm lonely.
169
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,184
Have you ever been married, Lovejoy?
170
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:00,781
Yeah.
171
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,794
Oh, not anymore.
172
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,730
We were both very young. We confused
"I love you" with "I want to marry you."
173
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:12,935
It's our daughter, really, who kept us together.
She's 18 now.
174
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,837
Do you think you would ever do it again?
175
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,241
No.
176
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:21,904
Sugar?
177
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,190
Well, Lovejoy,
178
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:36,991
has Marcel Jaworski triumphed again
or has he not?
179
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,065
Yes, he has triumphed again.
180
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:42,825
Acrylic?
181
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:50,464
You gave me one week, Lovejoy.
I could have used emulsion and wallpaper paste.
182
00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:52,374
Did you get the other stuff I asked for?
183
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:53,742
Mm-hm.
184
00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:57,912
What do you think, Cass?
185
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,620
It's incredible.
186
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,415
I really can't tell the difference.
187
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,450
What about you, Miki? Fooled you too?
188
00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:11,689
They look the same to me.
189
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,926
I still need a couple more hours,
190
00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:16,628
just to get the right bloom and patina.
191
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,467
So if you want to go out for a meal
192
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,474
and come back at three o'clock,
I will be delighted to see you.
193
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,874
No, no. By the time
we come back at three o'clock,
194
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,105
he'll be halfway to Paris with the real Rublev.
195
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,478
Won't you, Marcel?
196
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,176
(Curses in Japanese)
197
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,216
You point to the real icon, please.
198
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,120
Yes. Si.
199
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,648
- There.
- Is he telling the truth?
200
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,991
Yes, he's telling the truth.
201
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,525
I don't know. I know what it looks like but...
202
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:51,229
I was just testing, Lovejoy.
203
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:54,239
I would not pull a stroke like that.
204
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,468
(French accent) "I would not pull
a stroke like that."
205
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,568
You're ruthless, Marcel.
206
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:01,338
You'd do anything for a full head of hair.
207
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,647
I don't know why you bother.
208
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,745
I'm sure a lot of women
find that very seductive.
209
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,222
Really?
210
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,052
- Thank you. Au revoir.
- Au revoir.
211
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,991
Au revoir.
212
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,800
Au revoir.
213
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,415
Afternoon, Lovejoy.
214
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:43,785
Just a bloody minute,
that's my bed you've got there.
215
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,051
Not anymore it isn't.
216
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,115
But we've left your bedding up there.
217
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:52,563
The couple that bought the refectory table
and chairs found me the matching bed,
218
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,361
so we sold them the whole set.
219
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,867
Got a good price for it too.
220
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:59,200
But I can't sleep on the floor.
It's the '90s, not the '60s.
221
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,899
That's a bit before my time.
222
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,737
- Lovejoy...
- Why?
223
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,402
- Can I see you?
- Yeah.
224
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:07,435
Please, take this the way it's intended, but...
225
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:11,513
you can't operate out of a barn
so why not stay at my place for a few days?
226
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:14,110
There's eight bedrooms.
227
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:16,178
- No, it's an imposition, Cass.
- No, no.
228
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,349
And listen, people start to spread rumors.
229
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,324
You know, gossip and lies.
230
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:24,626
Look, after Donald died
the locals spread rumors
231
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,690
that I was either dating or sleeping
with people like Mick Jagger or Donald Trump.
232
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,466
Oh.
233
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:37,171
Well, maybe just for a couple of days
until I can pick something up at an auction.
234
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,608
Oh, Eric?
235
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,134
Excuse me, Cass.
236
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,410
- You're a genius.
- Eh?
237
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,819
Are you selling those too?
238
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:05,469
Single icons were kept in velvet bags.
Now, we need two of them.
239
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:09,804
It's important that they feel and smell right.
Would you hold that?
240
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:14,404
So they would have accumulated
smells like must, dust,
241
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:18,906
mouse pee, vodka, borscht, tobacco
and a host of other things Russian.
242
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,612
OK.
243
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:27,022
No. Needs another century
and a couple of wars thrown in.
244
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,825
Smell that.
245
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,789
That's incredible.
246
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,267
- It smells like the inside of a...
- What?
247
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,795
Of a very old church. I can smell...
248
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:43,535
candles, incense...
249
00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:46,976
You know, that sweet and sour smell
of something very, very old.
250
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:49,480
- Good.
- Lovejoy, you're a genius.
251
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,782
- You any good at sewing?
- Sure. There's a machine around someplace.
252
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:57,687
No, Cass. I don't think Mr. Singer
was around at the time of Catherine the Great.
253
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,055
You mean I have to sew by hand?
254
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,423
I'll help you.
255
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,060
- You think of everything, don't you?
- Mm-hm.
256
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,259
You know, Lovejoy, this is...
257
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:12,361
almost the most exciting thing
I've ever done in my whole life.
258
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,073
I said "almost".
259
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,541
And now, Mr. Tanaka,
260
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,417
it's testing time.
261
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:34,357
Would you care to ask the real Andrei Rublev
to stand up, please?
262
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,263
You can ask Miki to help you.
He watched it being painted.
263
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,333
(Speaks Japanese)
264
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,187
(Speak Japanese)
265
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:16,557
(Speaks Japanese)
266
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,329
We choose this one. This is the copy.
267
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,238
Good.
268
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:28,178
Then that's the one that Harry Catapodis
is going to pay $3 million for.
269
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,646
You are lying, Lovejoy.
270
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:34,584
You are about to walk out of here
with $10 million worth of icon.
271
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,552
- I know you!
- Miki, what the hell are you doing?
272
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:40,490
This is the original, the one you chose.
273
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:43,290
But I've no intention of going anywhere
with either of them.
274
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:46,593
Tell him to quit that Seven Samurai stuff
of I'm off the case.
275
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,691
(Speaks Japanese)
276
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,683
I'm deeply sorry.
277
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,617
I apologize.
278
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,980
Oh, I...
279
00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:14,048
I accept your apology, Miki.
280
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:18,257
We're going to have a bit of magic now.
281
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:21,596
Hm? If an icon's been kept in a bag
for a couple of hundred years,
282
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,067
you'd expect some of the paint
to flake off, right?
283
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,836
Well, these are authentic paint samples
from a 14th century icon.
284
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:33,806
So when Catapodis wants
to test the paint for age,
285
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:38,249
he can have all the samples he wants.
286
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,592
Product launch on a Russian cargo ship.
287
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:57,527
My dear sweet Cassandra, have you ever been
on board one of these things?
288
00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,833
They're not exactly cruise liners.
289
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,670
You'd never get
anybody in his right mind to come.
290
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,199
What are you launching?
291
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,075
A green diesel oil?
292
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:10,980
A new aftershave called Perestroika.
We think it will go down well in the West.
293
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:13,883
(Laughs) Ought to go down well in the East too.
294
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:19,117
Now I've marked off
all the Russian ships we deal with
295
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,889
with a schedule to call into UK ports
during the next few months.
296
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:26,295
Now you choose one
and I'll arrange for you to go on board.
297
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,396
You are a most kind and generous man, J.P.
298
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,198
How can I ever repay you?
299
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:38,141
Oh, my dear Cass,
by coming with me to Cap d'Antibes next week.
300
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:42,671
My mother's staying at the villa.
She enjoys your company enormously.
301
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,380
Well, I'm sorry I can't. I...
302
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:50,252
do have a stable to run.
We're in the middle of the season.
303
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:57,056
Don't you think Cassandra should let me
make an honest woman of her, Lovejoy?
304
00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:59,586
I thought she already was, J.P.
305
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:10,235
(Mordechai)
"Ships expected in the British Isles."
306
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,477
What about that one?
307
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,242
The Nikolai Bulganin.
308
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:20,183
No, that's going to Liverpool.
We want Felixstowe, Harwich or Tilbury.
309
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:28,316
What about this -
the Alexander Katorga,
310
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,158
general cargo from Archangel,
311
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:34,063
arrives in Southampton in five days' time?
312
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:38,263
- Does that give us enough time?
- Five days is a lifetime in this scam.
313
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:41,329
And it goes on to Rotterdam
after leaving Southampton,
314
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:46,834
so maybe they've got a buyer for the Rublev
in Holland, if you know what I mean.
315
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:50,780
- We go for it, then?
- Yeah, let's go for it.
316
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,886
Do you realize that
what we're about to do is criminal?
317
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,946
I mean, it's not like
stealing hub caps or anything.
318
00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:02,825
Lady, if you're going to put your hand
into the haimische pickle jar,
319
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,192
put it in...
320
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:06,356
right up to the elbow.
321
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,497
Oy vey!
322
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:17,468
(Radio) And for Dallas, it's a high-line drive
over short, and the bases are loaded.
323
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,237
- That's OK.
- Thanks a lot, chief.
324
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,805
(Phone)
325
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:26,044
- You have yourself a good day.
- Hello?
326
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,575
Thank you, Michelle.
327
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,555
Lovejoy, what a surprise.
328
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,080
How are you?
329
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,786
Fine, Harry, just fine.
330
00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:36,293
What can I do for you?
331
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:41,925
I've had a very good tip from a friend of mine
which I thought might interest you.
332
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:48,031
There's an Andrei Rublev icon
arriving on a Russian ship in five days.
333
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,404
It's for sale.
334
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:51,671
Get the Getty Foundation, Dan Hughes.
335
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,701
Oh, yeah? Hm.
336
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,144
How much they want?
337
00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,842
$3 million.
338
00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:58,941
(Laughs)
339
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,251
It sounds to me like it's been stolen.
340
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:06,155
No, apparently not. They've got papers
of provenance for it and everything.
341
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:08,455
I don't know, Lovejoy.
342
00:22:10,028 --> 00:22:12,792
Icons, they're very hard to place.
343
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:16,824
The black market is...
It's a very narrow band.
344
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,997
No, no.
345
00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,938
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
346
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,304
I'm not sure.
347
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,333
I'll have to give it some thought.
348
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,376
Have they got anything else?
349
00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:31,610
No, only the icon.
I just thought it might interest you.
350
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:35,416
I think they've got someone
lined up for it in Rotterdam anyway.
351
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:40,181
Well, it's good that you think of old Harry, eh?
352
00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:45,458
Ah, have you seen anything
of the widow Lynch recently?
353
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:49,058
Not since the charity do.
Why? Do you want me to give her your best?
354
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:50,261
Are you kidding?
355
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:52,202
That ungrateful bitch?
356
00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:56,901
She says she's going to sue me for three
quarters of a million dollars for a Canaletto.
357
00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,105
She claims it's phoney.
Phoney, my ass!
358
00:23:00,812 --> 00:23:02,302
Stay away from her, Lovejoy.
359
00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:04,838
She's bad news, believe you me.
360
00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:07,613
Well, thanks for the warning, Harry.
361
00:23:07,652 --> 00:23:11,782
Anyway, I'll give your icon some thought.
362
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:13,290
I'll ask around.
363
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,452
Thanks for phoning, Lovejoy.
364
00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,684
Pleasure, Harry.
365
00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:25,166
Good morning, Dan. How are you?
366
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,864
Harry. I'm fine.
367
00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:30,170
Look, I just wanted to check your feelings
368
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:36,340
about the possibility
of an Andrei Rublev for the foundation.
369
00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:38,246
A Rublev?
370
00:23:38,283 --> 00:23:40,547
We'd be very interested.
371
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,886
Let me introduce Terry and Johnny Slingsby.
372
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,325
Two better boys for this Russian shtick
you could not have.
373
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:51,522
Come in, boys. Come on, come on in.
374
00:23:52,197 --> 00:23:53,824
- All right?
- Yeah.
375
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,493
They look about as Russian as Stevie Wonder.
376
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,833
I understand your mother was in the circus.
377
00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:00,030
- Yeah.
- That's right.
378
00:24:00,071 --> 00:24:03,700
She used to be the anchor woman
in the Ukrainian human pyramid.
379
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:06,267
She taught us Russian
soon as we could open our mouths.
380
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,474
She reckoned if ever the Red Army
come bowling down Commercial Road,
381
00:24:09,514 --> 00:24:13,780
we'd at least be able to understand the geezers
when they said, "Hands up!"
382
00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:15,684
Go on, then, say something in Russian.
383
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,712
(Both speak made-up Russian)
384
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,563
(Mordechai) Go on, then, sing something.
385
00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:37,200
♪ Kalenka, kalenka, kalenka...
386
00:24:38,343 --> 00:24:39,332
Stop.
387
00:24:39,377 --> 00:24:41,607
Where the hell did you get this?
388
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,581
It's the ugliest bloody thing
I've ever seen in my life.
389
00:24:44,616 --> 00:24:46,311
It's embarrassing, isn't it, Cass?
390
00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:48,080
It's '50s kitsch, Lovejoy.
391
00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,888
It's all the rage.
We got the whole lot from a house clearance.
392
00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:54,892
- Why oh why do you do this to me, Eric?
- (Phone)
393
00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:58,384
You wouldn't like to have to eat
off the floor again, would you, Lovejoy?
394
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,955
Would you answer that for me, Eric?
395
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:03,263
- Where's the list?
- Under the phone.
396
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,769
- Lovejoy Associates. Can I help you?
- Lovejoy.
397
00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:11,275
And who's calling?
398
00:25:11,309 --> 00:25:12,674
Harry Catapodis.
399
00:25:12,711 --> 00:25:17,273
OK, Mr. Catapodis, if you'll just hold on,
I'll go and see if he's in the workshop.
400
00:25:17,315 --> 00:25:19,044
Harry, good to hear you.
401
00:25:19,985 --> 00:25:21,509
Hold on a second.
402
00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:23,214
(Whispers) Goodbye, Eric.
403
00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:26,217
Where are you calling from, Harry?
404
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:29,022
White's Hotel, London, England.
405
00:25:29,594 --> 00:25:32,324
I just got here. Uh, thank you.
406
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:35,595
I had some urgent business in Bond Street,
407
00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:38,501
so I thought I'd check in with you.
408
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,732
Well, that's very thoughtful of you, Harry.
409
00:25:40,772 --> 00:25:42,501
Any news of the icon?
410
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,736
Did your Ruskis ever show up?
411
00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:46,573
Apparently the ship has docked
412
00:25:46,611 --> 00:25:50,103
but I didn't go through with it
because you didn't call me back.
413
00:25:50,148 --> 00:25:53,345
I mean, that kind of thing's out of my league.
414
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:57,219
Maybe I could meet this friend of yours.
What do you think?
415
00:25:57,255 --> 00:26:01,214
There's no harm in checking it out
if it's still here, is there?
416
00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:02,954
I suppose not. I could call him.
417
00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:06,760
It's just that Mordechai has got this thing
about paying telephone bills.
418
00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:08,459
I could send him a telegram, though.
419
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,901
Look, Lovejoy, I only plan to be here
for a few days.
420
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:15,498
Why don't you just get yourself a cab
and bill it to me?
421
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,201
OK?
422
00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:22,277
He's on the hook.
423
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,417
Tanaka, it's Lovejoy.
424
00:26:29,454 --> 00:26:32,514
Catapodis is in town
and he wants to see the Rublev.
425
00:26:32,557 --> 00:26:34,184
We have lift-off.
426
00:26:55,213 --> 00:26:58,239
Lovejoy, so nice of you to come.
427
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,843
Harry Catapodis, Mordechai Frobel.
428
00:27:00,885 --> 00:27:04,582
Mordechai. Please, gentlemen, come in.
Make yourselves at home.
429
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:06,022
Come and sit down.
430
00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:11,252
Make yourselves at home.
431
00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:19,668
Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink?
Gin, whiskey?
432
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:23,435
- Oh, no, no. I never touch it, thank you.
- Good. Down to business.
433
00:27:24,175 --> 00:27:26,507
It's good to make your acquaintance, Mordechai.
434
00:27:29,347 --> 00:27:32,248
You... bring the papers?
435
00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:33,944
Oh, yes.
436
00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,603
What do you think of this?
437
00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:57,597
Oh, it looks like a Rublev
but I'd want to see it myself first.
438
00:27:59,077 --> 00:28:01,272
Any idea what this thing says?
439
00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:04,007
Oh, yes, it's the...
440
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,950
the Rublev icon family tree.
441
00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:10,887
Where it's been, who owned it,
which father passed it onto which son.
442
00:28:10,922 --> 00:28:13,914
It goes from 1750 to 1950.
443
00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:19,530
- May I borrow this?
- Oh, no, no, no, no. Please, keep the...
444
00:28:19,564 --> 00:28:21,191
- The Polaroid.
- Yes.
445
00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,964
I even signed it for you on the back.
446
00:28:29,340 --> 00:28:32,605
OK, how much they want for this thing?
447
00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:35,477
Well, only $3 million.
448
00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:37,344
- Cash.
- Three million?
449
00:28:38,616 --> 00:28:40,277
You must be crazy.
450
00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:44,484
Who is this guy, Lovejoy, eh?
451
00:28:46,424 --> 00:28:48,790
$3 million is pitsel.
452
00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:52,558
Don't you know
the Andrei Rublev icon is off the scale?
453
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,360
There's not one in the West.
454
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:57,334
I know that, Mordechai,
but three million? I ask you.
455
00:28:57,368 --> 00:28:59,598
I'm wasting my time here.
456
00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:02,401
You said he was a mensch.
457
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,340
I thought he was a major player.
458
00:29:04,375 --> 00:29:08,004
What is he? Some sort of Greek goy
who still thinks in drachma?
459
00:29:08,046 --> 00:29:10,537
Look, Mordechai, let's get one thing straight.
460
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,847
First I want to see the goods.
I want to translate the papers.
461
00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:17,878
And not until I am 150% satisfied
462
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,549
that this thing is kosher
463
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,991
will I even think of the money. Versteh?
464
00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:26,963
Well, you think about it, Catapodis, but
don't waste your time scratching your tuchus.
465
00:29:27,732 --> 00:29:31,395
I'm leaving.
If he makes up his mind, call me.
466
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:32,528
Oy prac.
467
00:29:34,005 --> 00:29:34,994
Oy kolera.
468
00:29:42,313 --> 00:29:44,747
Well, what do you make of that?
469
00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:47,882
Well...
470
00:29:49,020 --> 00:29:50,851
The whole thing sounds fishy to me.
471
00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:54,651
The Rublev's got to be worth three times that.
472
00:29:54,692 --> 00:29:59,925
No, it's obvious that they want our currency.
I've dealt with the Russians before, don't forget.
473
00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:02,432
They don't give a damn about their heritage.
474
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:05,925
They'd sell you the Kremlin
if you were dumb enough to haul it away.
475
00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:09,963
OK, where do we get this stuff translated?
476
00:30:10,008 --> 00:30:11,669
Well, under T,
477
00:30:11,709 --> 00:30:13,836
for translators.
478
00:30:13,878 --> 00:30:15,846
Let's have a look.
479
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,509
What have we got?
Translators, here we go. We've got...
480
00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:20,882
Arabic...
481
00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:22,648
Oh, we've got Greek even.
482
00:30:22,687 --> 00:30:24,712
Russian. Here we go.
483
00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:26,087
Popov.
484
00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:28,857
Popov.
485
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,268
This is old Russian
486
00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:41,932
with a bit of Armenian thrown in
for good measure, you understand?
487
00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:43,998
But what does it say?
488
00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:49,344
It tells that an icon was painted
by Rublev Andrei.
489
00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:52,645
It was taken from a...
490
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,948
What's this word?
491
00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:58,547
Oh yes, a screen in the cathedral of Vladimir.
492
00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:00,888
- A very famous place.
- Very famous, yes.
493
00:31:01,659 --> 00:31:06,824
And has been guarded by a family
of old believers since the 18th century.
494
00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:09,827
Everyone, fathers and sons,
495
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:14,100
who have guarded the icon
up until the 1950s
496
00:31:14,138 --> 00:31:16,504
have put their names on the list.
497
00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:20,944
- You want me to read them out to you?
- No, that's OK, Mr. Popov. Don't bother.
498
00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:24,244
This script is ancient. It's hard to read.
499
00:31:26,150 --> 00:31:28,584
This is a very important icon, if you ask me.
500
00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:31,350
Does that document look genuine to you?
501
00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:34,881
Sure, for a photocopy
it looks very genuine to me.
502
00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:39,124
It's so old, I could have written it myself.
503
00:31:39,964 --> 00:31:41,625
Is that a fact?
504
00:31:45,503 --> 00:31:47,562
I got the feeling we should take a look.
505
00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:51,132
If you want my opinion, it's a waste of time,
but take a look by all means.
506
00:31:51,175 --> 00:31:53,405
- Can you fix it?
- Of course I can fix it.
507
00:31:53,444 --> 00:31:56,607
- First of all we have to fix some ground rules.
- And they are?
508
00:31:56,648 --> 00:32:00,049
10% of the final selling price,
if the deal goes through.
509
00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:02,279
- Are you?
- 10%, Harry.
510
00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:24,874
This is Mrs. Lynch. Captain Valentin.
511
00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:26,774
- Hello.
- Hello, captain.
512
00:32:26,811 --> 00:32:29,336
I've explained everything
to the captain, my dear.
513
00:32:29,380 --> 00:32:31,644
He's going to do everything he can to help you.
514
00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:34,311
I hope it all works out.
515
00:32:34,352 --> 00:32:37,321
This is all very kind of you, J.P.
How can I ever thank you?
516
00:32:38,222 --> 00:32:39,655
No comment.
517
00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:08,045
Captain Valentin, I'd like you
to meet my associate, Mr. Frobel.
518
00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,075
Hello.
519
00:33:19,030 --> 00:33:22,557
This is one hell of a way to come
to see some icon, Lovejoy.
520
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,602
Where did you say this place was?
521
00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:28,571
Southampton. Frankly, Harry,
I wouldn't have bothered.
522
00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:32,008
My attitude is,
what you never have, you never miss.
523
00:33:32,043 --> 00:33:34,603
That's the difference
between you and me, Lovejoy.
524
00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:38,376
I'd never sleep nights
if I thought I was close to something
525
00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:41,249
and I didn't know whether it was gold or dog do.
526
00:33:41,285 --> 00:33:42,684
You will soon.
527
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:02,237
Before we reveal the icon,
528
00:34:03,608 --> 00:34:05,473
I just want to say
529
00:34:07,245 --> 00:34:10,510
that these two boys here
530
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:15,850
have brought it to the West
at great personal risk to themselves.
531
00:34:16,621 --> 00:34:18,646
And if word gets out,
532
00:34:18,689 --> 00:34:24,355
the K.G.B. Would open a gulag
especially for them. Versteh?
533
00:34:25,163 --> 00:34:26,790
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got that.
534
00:34:26,831 --> 00:34:28,355
Now where is it?
535
00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:32,836
What Mordechai say is pravda, truth.
536
00:34:32,870 --> 00:34:34,201
Understand?
537
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,640
This... most beautiful thing you see, huh?
538
00:34:48,486 --> 00:34:50,545
My God.
539
00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:54,080
It is incredible,
540
00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:55,456
I agree.
541
00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:06,594
What do you think, Lovejoy?
542
00:35:06,637 --> 00:35:08,730
Oh, yes, it is...
543
00:35:10,141 --> 00:35:11,438
incredible.
544
00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:16,444
But it could have been made
in Vladivostok yesterday.
545
00:35:16,481 --> 00:35:18,574
What kind of talk is that?
546
00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:22,950
If you're not interested, these are good people.
Do not waste their time.
547
00:35:22,987 --> 00:35:25,012
Who's wasting their time?
548
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,293
Just calm down.
549
00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:33,024
Excuse us one moment.
550
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:34,962
Lovejoy.
551
00:35:41,672 --> 00:35:44,869
Well, Lovejoy, what do you think?
552
00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:48,339
Looks like a Rublev, smells like a Rublev.
553
00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:53,146
Hm, and there's the papers of provenance.
I mean, they look genuine enough.
554
00:35:53,885 --> 00:35:56,945
I mean, these guys, they're too dumb
to think that one up.
555
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,684
Oh, don't be too sure.
It's the first thing I'd do.
556
00:35:59,724 --> 00:36:04,593
Do you think that we could have a microscopy
test done of the paint before tomorrow?
557
00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:06,961
Sure, if they give us a sample.
558
00:36:13,437 --> 00:36:17,806
Look, fellas, just to confirm
that we're not buying the washroom door,
559
00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:21,005
we want to have the paint tested.
560
00:36:22,346 --> 00:36:23,677
(Speaks mock Russian)
561
00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:27,741
Er...
562
00:36:27,785 --> 00:36:29,776
(Replies in mock Russian)
563
00:36:36,060 --> 00:36:37,687
- Niet.
- Niet.
564
00:36:37,728 --> 00:36:39,719
(Speaks mock Russian)
565
00:36:42,733 --> 00:36:44,064
What's he say?
566
00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:46,729
They don't want you to touch the paint.
567
00:36:46,771 --> 00:36:50,036
If you do, they'll break your bleedin' arm.
568
00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:54,511
You're talking $3 million one minute
and he wants to put me in plaster the next?
569
00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:58,982
You're crazy! I can't do business like this.
You should be locked up, the lot of you!
570
00:36:59,016 --> 00:37:00,711
What are you talking about?
571
00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:02,844
We're talking $3 million!
572
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:06,823
You're going to break my arm! You should
grow up, you know that? You're crazy!
573
00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:10,190
- Ah!
- Just a moment, just a moment!
574
00:37:13,664 --> 00:37:14,995
Paint samples.
575
00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:23,331
Flakes from the paint.
576
00:37:30,348 --> 00:37:31,337
So...
577
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,141
We have sample...
578
00:37:35,052 --> 00:37:37,612
and nothing is broken.
579
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:44,361
(Speaks mock Russian)
580
00:37:44,395 --> 00:37:46,863
OK. You test paint.
581
00:37:46,897 --> 00:37:50,424
Then we leave in 24 hours.
We go to Rotterdam.
582
00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:54,161
Can't be fairer than that, can we?
583
00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:57,003
Don't pass it up, Catapodis.
584
00:37:57,041 --> 00:38:00,772
You won't get another chance this century.
That I know for nothing.
585
00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:04,144
- How come you're not interested?
- Who, me?
586
00:38:04,181 --> 00:38:08,481
(Laughs) Saints, virgins -
hardly my kind of theology, is it?
587
00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:12,388
OK, for the moment we stop business.
588
00:38:12,423 --> 00:38:14,186
We come back later.
589
00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:15,783
Lovejoy.
590
00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:24,364
Dosvedanya.
591
00:38:27,571 --> 00:38:29,436
- All right, all right.
- All right!
592
00:38:29,473 --> 00:38:30,701
(Speaks Japanese)
593
00:38:30,741 --> 00:38:32,368
All right.
594
00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:38,742
Come on, come on. What does it show?
595
00:38:40,584 --> 00:38:43,075
As far as I can tell
there are no substances in the paint
596
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,714
to indicate the icon
is a contemporary copy.
597
00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:50,420
What you're saying is that the paint
comes from the 14th century?
598
00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:54,026
I can't say that. As yet no test can.
599
00:38:54,065 --> 00:38:55,930
What I can say with absolute certainty
600
00:38:55,966 --> 00:38:59,265
is that the pigments you've given me
are consistent with that era,
601
00:38:59,303 --> 00:39:02,500
which in this case
just happens to be the 14th century.
602
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:05,936
So it's old?
603
00:39:05,976 --> 00:39:08,536
That's about what we know. It's old.
604
00:39:09,647 --> 00:39:11,376
Excuse me.
605
00:39:12,149 --> 00:39:13,138
Lovejoy.
606
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:16,051
Lovejoy, what is this?
607
00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:18,749
You got some deal
with the Dutch in Rotterdam?
608
00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,986
15% instead of 10? Come on, out with it.
609
00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,051
Whatever happens, it's your decision.
610
00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:28,156
I just don't want to find myself in the position
of having to say, "I told you so."
611
00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:33,364
You won't. Call Mordechai and ask him
if Tom and Jerry will take banker's drafts.
612
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,380
Thank you, Ted.
613
00:39:57,695 --> 00:39:58,992
I just want to confirm
614
00:39:59,029 --> 00:40:03,022
that the Alexander Katorga
is leaving Southampton today for Rotterdam.
615
00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:06,763
It is? Thank you very much.
616
00:40:08,105 --> 00:40:11,040
Well, there it is, boys.
617
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,805
That's my apartment you're looking at there.
618
00:40:13,844 --> 00:40:17,211
Very spacious.
Have you got the banker's drafts?
619
00:40:18,549 --> 00:40:20,915
I want you to think about this very carefully.
620
00:40:20,951 --> 00:40:22,441
I already have.
621
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:24,414
Let's go.
622
00:40:24,455 --> 00:40:25,979
You two, bring it.
623
00:40:35,132 --> 00:40:36,463
They're coming.
624
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:22,913
Ah, it's good to see you again. Catapodis.
625
00:41:22,947 --> 00:41:24,209
Nice to see you.
626
00:41:25,516 --> 00:41:27,746
It's good to see the gang's all here, eh?
627
00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:31,615
Can I offer anybody a nice cup of Russian tea?
628
00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:33,520
That's very kind but I don't think so.
629
00:41:33,557 --> 00:41:35,422
I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.
630
00:41:35,459 --> 00:41:37,620
- I wouldn't mind a cup of vod... tea.
- Tea.
631
00:41:37,661 --> 00:41:40,061
I suppose we have to keep the workers happy.
632
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:42,361
Very kind of you.
633
00:41:42,399 --> 00:41:44,367
(Speaks mock Russian)
634
00:41:45,936 --> 00:41:49,804
Mordechai...
Mordechai, what's he just said?
635
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,900
Er, he wants to know what you've got.
636
00:41:52,943 --> 00:41:54,274
Boys.
637
00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:13,894
Now there are two cases like that full of gold.
See, another one up there.
638
00:42:13,931 --> 00:42:15,956
OK.
639
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:22,235
And here I have these banker's drafts
from International Bank, New York.
640
00:42:22,273 --> 00:42:24,264
OK? Banker's drafts.
641
00:42:24,308 --> 00:42:26,435
International Bank.
642
00:42:29,013 --> 00:42:30,674
Satisfied?
643
00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:32,511
- Da.
- Da, OK.
644
00:42:36,086 --> 00:42:39,055
May I see the icon?
645
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,903
Ah.
646
00:43:07,685 --> 00:43:09,312
What are you doing?
647
00:43:09,353 --> 00:43:14,313
Last time I handled this, I made
a little cross on the back with my thumbnail.
648
00:43:14,358 --> 00:43:16,724
I can't seem to see it.
649
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,456
You know something, I'm beginning to...
650
00:43:19,496 --> 00:43:20,690
Try this.
651
00:43:21,332 --> 00:43:22,663
Thank you.
652
00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:28,799
Ah, here it is. I've got it here.
653
00:43:29,873 --> 00:43:31,067
Yes.
654
00:43:34,011 --> 00:43:35,979
Have you got the papers?
655
00:43:36,013 --> 00:43:37,344
OK.
656
00:43:39,817 --> 00:43:41,148
Thank you.
657
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,491
Second opinion.
658
00:43:55,866 --> 00:43:57,060
Hm-hm.
659
00:43:57,101 --> 00:43:59,035
They look kosher to me.
660
00:43:59,069 --> 00:44:02,197
(Russian over tannoy)
661
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:03,570
What's he saying?
662
00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:05,666
We leave in ten minutes.
663
00:44:05,709 --> 00:44:08,837
In ten minutes? Just one moment, excuse me.
664
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:10,210
Lovejoy.
665
00:44:18,389 --> 00:44:21,085
Well, I've come this far.
Are you still skeptical?
666
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:23,025
What do you think?
667
00:44:23,060 --> 00:44:26,120
You've come this far,
you might as well go for the whole 10 yards
668
00:44:26,163 --> 00:44:27,824
but just one thing, Harry.
669
00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:33,900
The ship leaves in ten minutes,
the cash is on the table.
670
00:44:34,938 --> 00:44:40,240
One and a half million. More money
than they've ever seen in their lives.
671
00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:43,736
I offer them a million and a half?
672
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:47,047
They're crazy but they're not that crazy.
673
00:44:47,084 --> 00:44:49,177
Well, try it. What have you got to lose?
674
00:44:57,461 --> 00:45:01,557
OK, I've decided to buy the icon
675
00:45:01,598 --> 00:45:05,466
but not for $3 million, for one and a half.
676
00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:09,734
All the cash and the gold,
but not the banker's drafts.
677
00:45:12,309 --> 00:45:14,106
(Speaks mock Russian)
678
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:17,274
(Both) Niet.
679
00:45:17,748 --> 00:45:20,148
(Speaks mock Russian)
680
00:45:20,184 --> 00:45:22,812
Three million. Three million.
681
00:45:25,122 --> 00:45:26,521
Deal is off.
682
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:29,355
Oh, sugar!
See what happens when I listen to you?
683
00:45:30,094 --> 00:45:33,393
(Harry) Come back here, boys.
For God's sake, come back.
684
00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:37,689
(Speaks mock Russian)
685
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:40,727
- Three million.
- What's he say?
686
00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:44,207
He says you have two minutes
and it's still $3 million.
687
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:47,335
It's a good deal that, Catapodis.
Tell him, Lovejoy.
688
00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:49,072
What am I supposed to say?
689
00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,606
(Russian over tannoy)
690
00:45:52,649 --> 00:45:54,981
Two minutes.
691
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,109
(Ship's horn)
692
00:45:57,154 --> 00:45:59,054
OK, I agree.
693
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,488
Here.
694
00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,355
Here are the banker's drafts.
695
00:46:08,198 --> 00:46:09,358
OK?
696
00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:12,566
Da.
697
00:46:13,670 --> 00:46:16,833
(Speaks mock Russian)
698
00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:20,968
Good.
699
00:46:21,011 --> 00:46:23,309
OK, fellas, let's get out of here.
700
00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:26,544
Have a nice day, Harry.
701
00:46:33,357 --> 00:46:36,815
Hey, Lovejoy, why don't you call Rotterdam
702
00:46:36,860 --> 00:46:38,885
and tell them it's not coming?
703
00:46:38,929 --> 00:46:41,420
I never had a deal with the Dutch, Harry.
704
00:46:42,733 --> 00:46:44,860
That's your story and you're sticking to it.
705
00:46:44,902 --> 00:46:48,804
Nice working with you, boys.
Bye, Lovejoy.
706
00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,864
It's nice working with you, Harry.
707
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:54,338
- Bye.
- Bye.
708
00:46:55,579 --> 00:46:57,240
(All) Yeah!
709
00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:00,876
Cass.
710
00:47:03,453 --> 00:47:05,250
- Get off.
- Hey!
711
00:47:06,089 --> 00:47:08,114
Hey, come up quickly.
712
00:47:25,042 --> 00:47:26,839
(Exclaims in Japanese)
713
00:47:28,245 --> 00:47:30,577
(Lovejoy) He's trying to get away with the gold.
714
00:47:30,614 --> 00:47:33,811
- (Speaks Japanese)
- No, plan B.
715
00:47:41,892 --> 00:47:43,519
- What's going on?
- Plan B.
716
00:47:54,171 --> 00:47:56,969
- Hey!
- The walkie-talkie.
717
00:48:08,118 --> 00:48:09,449
(Chuckles)
718
00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:50,825
(Eric) Lovejoy, he's heading out
towards the main channel.
719
00:48:52,829 --> 00:48:55,855
- I've lost him.
- We've lost him. We've got to go up higher.
720
00:49:06,009 --> 00:49:10,173
- He's holding the same course.
- He's holding the same course.
721
00:49:15,485 --> 00:49:20,320
- He's turning toward the big bridge.
- He's turning toward the big bridge.
722
00:49:20,357 --> 00:49:24,259
(Tinker) He's heading towards the shore
by the south end of the bridge.
723
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:30,627
(Eric) He's going to land
by the south end of the bridge.
724
00:49:38,008 --> 00:49:39,839
He's landed. He's getting out of the boat.
725
00:49:39,876 --> 00:49:43,175
(Eric) He's landed.
Now don't do anything foolish, Lovejoy.
726
00:49:50,220 --> 00:49:51,551
Oi.
727
00:49:55,959 --> 00:49:58,928
If anyone asks,
you thought we were from Greenpeace.
728
00:50:16,079 --> 00:50:17,512
Nice one.
729
00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:23,446
♪ Happy days are here again...
730
00:50:26,723 --> 00:50:29,214
Mordechai!
731
00:50:29,259 --> 00:50:30,817
All right, all right.
732
00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:33,959
You really had us worried there for a minute.
733
00:50:37,067 --> 00:50:38,557
Fancy a drink?
734
00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:40,092
Why not?55850
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