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1
00:00:03,384 --> 00:00:05,725
Not all
science is created equal.
2
00:00:05,778 --> 00:00:09,041
There's physics, the
undisputed king of science.
3
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:11,088
There's chemistry.
It's no physics,
4
00:00:11,176 --> 00:00:13,424
but it's not a bad way
to pass a rainy afternoon.
5
00:00:13,731 --> 00:00:15,971
And then there's biology,
6
00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:18,128
the squishiest of the sciences.
7
00:00:18,216 --> 00:00:19,325
Ugh!
8
00:00:19,413 --> 00:00:21,982
Once you have deposited
enough saliva
9
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:24,005
in the blue
Benedict's solution,
10
00:00:24,318 --> 00:00:26,536
we'll mix it
in the centrifuge.
11
00:00:26,624 --> 00:00:29,107
After that, we'll pass it
through the spectrometer
12
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,396
to measure
how much glucose is present.
13
00:00:31,807 --> 00:00:33,458
And won't that be a party?
14
00:00:33,726 --> 00:00:34,880
Sheldon.
15
00:00:52,513 --> 00:00:53,849
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
16
00:00:53,937 --> 00:00:55,939
It's warm. Oh, dear.
17
00:00:56,732 --> 00:00:59,786
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
18
00:00:59,874 --> 00:01:02,552
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
19
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,138
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
20
00:01:05,226 --> 00:01:08,237
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
21
00:01:08,325 --> 00:01:11,911
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
22
00:01:11,998 --> 00:01:13,998
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 02 Episode 19
23
00:01:14,085 --> 00:01:16,037
Episode Title: "A Political Campaign
and a Candy Land Cheater".
24
00:01:16,124 --> 00:01:17,975
And then there was some
extra money in the budget,
25
00:01:18,062 --> 00:01:19,670
so I was able to order
those tackling dummies
26
00:01:19,757 --> 00:01:21,193
I had my eye on.
27
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,261
I don't understand
why the football program gets
28
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,353
so much money, while
the equipment in the science lab
29
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,075
is outdated and falling apart.
30
00:01:27,192 --> 00:01:28,372
Oh, I can explain that.
31
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,505
This is Texas.
32
00:01:29,593 --> 00:01:30,507
Pass the ribs.
33
00:01:30,595 --> 00:01:31,497
Well, it's not fair.
34
00:01:31,585 --> 00:01:32,431
It's a school.
35
00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:34,403
Education should be
their priority.
36
00:01:34,508 --> 00:01:36,031
All right, I'll
explain it again...
37
00:01:36,119 --> 00:01:37,646
I think
Shelly's got a point.
38
00:01:37,734 --> 00:01:39,849
The school is supposed
to prepare these kids
39
00:01:39,937 --> 00:01:41,349
for the future.
How many of 'em
40
00:01:41,437 --> 00:01:43,677
are gonna be
professional football players?
41
00:01:43,765 --> 00:01:45,091
No one at this table.
42
00:01:45,601 --> 00:01:48,075
But how many of 'em
are gonna be scientists?
43
00:01:48,163 --> 00:01:49,338
I know.
44
00:01:49,547 --> 00:01:51,638
George, isn't there
a way they can take some
45
00:01:51,726 --> 00:01:53,771
of the football money
and spend it on science?
46
00:01:53,859 --> 00:01:55,630
Really?
I need to explain it again?
47
00:01:55,718 --> 00:01:58,224
You know, Moon Pie, in the '60s,
when the hippies wanted
48
00:01:58,321 --> 00:02:00,646
to change things,
they would just protest.
49
00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:02,521
- You were a hippie?
- Oh, no.
50
00:02:02,609 --> 00:02:04,810
But I wrote a letter
complaining about the hippies,
51
00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:07,200
and the police chased 'em
right out of that park.
52
00:02:07,288 --> 00:02:08,786
So my point is...
53
00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,646
maybe
you could write a letter.
54
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,005
Ooh! Maybe I can lodge
a formal complaint
55
00:02:13,093 --> 00:02:15,349
with the school board about
the sports budget infringing
56
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:16,440
on the other departments.
57
00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:18,017
Okay, last time:
58
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,415
Canada,
59
00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:21,009
the other states,
60
00:02:21,169 --> 00:02:22,658
us.
61
00:02:30,754 --> 00:02:32,548
What are you doing,
standing there?
62
00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:34,921
I wrote a formal complaint
letter to the school board
63
00:02:35,009 --> 00:02:36,978
on how much money is
spent on football.
64
00:02:37,103 --> 00:02:38,853
I was hoping you could
deliver it to them.
65
00:02:39,052 --> 00:02:41,165
You do realize
your father's a coach here.
66
00:02:41,289 --> 00:02:42,486
Yes, sir, I do.
67
00:02:42,574 --> 00:02:44,587
Maybe you ought to talk to him
about this first.
68
00:02:44,675 --> 00:02:45,539
I did.
69
00:02:45,627 --> 00:02:47,275
He didn't care
for the idea at all.
70
00:02:47,363 --> 00:02:49,626
Well, there you go.
71
00:02:49,983 --> 00:02:51,220
There I go what?
72
00:02:52,989 --> 00:02:54,642
Let me see that.
73
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:59,400
"Barbaric sport...
encourages bloodlust similar
74
00:02:59,488 --> 00:03:00,955
"to Roman gladiator
games...
75
00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:03,045
"Christians, lions...
76
00:03:03,363 --> 00:03:05,767
money better spent
on science and learning."
77
00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:07,267
You're joking, right?
78
00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:10,181
Did you see the word "bazinga"
anywhere in that letter?
79
00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:15,423
Out.
80
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,275
I'll just have to go
over his head.
81
00:03:22,123 --> 00:03:23,556
President Cooper.
82
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,486
That's serendipitous.
83
00:03:27,431 --> 00:03:28,564
Hello.
84
00:03:29,784 --> 00:03:30,908
What?
85
00:03:31,202 --> 00:03:33,994
I understand that you're
in charge of student elections.
86
00:03:35,246 --> 00:03:36,291
I am.
87
00:03:36,379 --> 00:03:38,384
I'd like to run
for class president.
88
00:03:39,004 --> 00:03:40,275
Really?
89
00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:41,517
Really.
90
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,517
Okay.
91
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,267
You can sign up,
but I have to warn you...
92
00:03:46,355 --> 00:03:49,108
You'll be running
against Nell Cavanaugh.
93
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,197
So?
94
00:03:50,963 --> 00:03:53,037
She's well-liked
by the student body.
95
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:54,233
So?
96
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:57,461
These elections tend to be a
bit of a popularity contest.
97
00:03:57,552 --> 00:04:00,606
So? You're gonna
make me say it, huh?
98
00:04:00,730 --> 00:04:01,861
Say what?
99
00:04:02,268 --> 00:04:03,583
People don't like you.
100
00:04:03,671 --> 00:04:06,497
Well, as my meemaw likes to say,
water off a duck's back.
101
00:04:06,654 --> 00:04:08,661
Elections shouldn't be
about popularity.
102
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,273
They should be about who has
the best ideas.
103
00:04:11,955 --> 00:04:13,512
And what's your idea?
104
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,906
Less money on football,
105
00:04:14,994 --> 00:04:16,343
more on science.
106
00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:18,778
Really.
107
00:04:19,453 --> 00:04:22,021
Guess what. I'm running
for class president.
108
00:04:22,327 --> 00:04:23,661
Good for you.
109
00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:25,106
You're encouraging him?
110
00:04:25,194 --> 00:04:26,840
He's gonna get destroyed.
111
00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:28,450
You don't know that.
112
00:04:28,538 --> 00:04:29,997
I feel like I do.
113
00:04:30,568 --> 00:04:32,044
Well, whether you win or not,
114
00:04:32,132 --> 00:04:34,003
I think it's great
that you're trying.
115
00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,168
But you think I'll win, right?
116
00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:39,176
God's listening, Mom.
117
00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:42,240
I think it's
certainly possible.
118
00:04:42,489 --> 00:04:44,129
Do you have
a campaign strategy?
119
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,229
No.
120
00:04:45,317 --> 00:04:46,801
Do you have
a catchy slogan?
121
00:04:46,889 --> 00:04:47,919
No.
122
00:04:48,016 --> 00:04:49,292
Does he have
a shot at winning?
123
00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:50,497
No.
124
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,887
Hello, I'd like to speak
to the mayor, please.
125
00:04:55,975 --> 00:04:57,088
My name is Sheldon Cooper.
126
00:04:57,176 --> 00:04:58,706
I'm running for class president
127
00:04:58,794 --> 00:05:01,129
and was hoping
he could give me some advice.
128
00:05:01,815 --> 00:05:03,083
I'm ten years old.
129
00:05:03,205 --> 00:05:04,642
But if it helps get him
on the phone,
130
00:05:04,729 --> 00:05:06,774
I'm well-behaved,
a straight-A student,
131
00:05:06,861 --> 00:05:08,497
and have impeccable hygiene.
132
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,487
Hello.
133
00:05:10,575 --> 00:05:11,747
This is Mayor Harrison.
134
00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:14,395
I understand
you are running for office.
135
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:15,754
Class president.
136
00:05:15,871 --> 00:05:17,873
Do you have any advice
on how to win?
137
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,331
The most important thing
is to get out there
138
00:05:20,419 --> 00:05:21,659
and connect with people.
139
00:05:21,747 --> 00:05:22,966
That's tricky.
140
00:05:23,077 --> 00:05:24,958
I'm not terribly fond of people.
141
00:05:25,132 --> 00:05:27,036
Well, you might need
to get over that.
142
00:05:27,124 --> 00:05:28,386
Assuming I can,
143
00:05:28,474 --> 00:05:29,911
how do I connect with them?
144
00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:31,911
A friendly handshake
is a great start.
145
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,020
Oh, boy.
146
00:05:33,157 --> 00:05:34,794
Now I have to touch them?
147
00:05:35,989 --> 00:05:37,317
Over the next few days,
148
00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:39,012
I mounted my campaign.
149
00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:41,868
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and
I'm running for class president.
150
00:05:41,956 --> 00:05:43,024
Okay.
151
00:05:43,290 --> 00:05:44,556
Put her there.
152
00:05:46,307 --> 00:05:48,162
Greetings, fellow students.
153
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,904
I'm running for class president.
154
00:05:50,048 --> 00:05:51,407
Here's a button.
155
00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,883
Have a grown-up put them on you.
156
00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:56,056
They're sharp.
157
00:05:56,883 --> 00:05:58,573
Hello.
I'm Sheldon Cooper,
158
00:05:58,661 --> 00:06:00,025
and I'm running
for class president.
159
00:06:00,112 --> 00:06:01,071
- Yeah?
- I understand
160
00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:02,993
you had a baby last year.
161
00:06:03,087 --> 00:06:05,134
If you bring it in,
I'll try to kiss it.
162
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,009
Vote Sheldon
for class president.
163
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,666
Vote Sheldon
for class president.
164
00:06:19,165 --> 00:06:21,376
Vote Sheldon for
class president.
165
00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:23,743
Don't worry...
It's a number two.
166
00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:25,977
You can use it on
standardized tests.
167
00:06:26,065 --> 00:06:27,173
Okay.
168
00:06:27,269 --> 00:06:28,475
And, of course, homework.
169
00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:30,009
I love homework.
170
00:06:30,134 --> 00:06:32,181
Well, it's so nice
to finally meet you.
171
00:06:32,269 --> 00:06:33,438
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
172
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,673
My opponent.
173
00:06:34,844 --> 00:06:37,344
I would shake your hand, but
my mom is washing my mittens.
174
00:06:38,349 --> 00:06:39,821
Okay.
175
00:06:41,091 --> 00:06:42,500
She was really nice.
176
00:06:42,588 --> 00:06:44,555
She even said, "May
the best student win."
177
00:06:44,643 --> 00:06:45,938
That's sweet.
178
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:47,408
This was a great idea.
179
00:06:47,486 --> 00:06:49,906
Children like cupcakes,
and, by giving them cupcakes,
180
00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:52,056
they'll transfer
that affinity to me.
181
00:06:52,681 --> 00:06:54,626
That's another way
of looking at it.
182
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:58,103
By that reasoning, a rich person
could simply buy people's votes.
183
00:06:58,191 --> 00:07:00,019
It's been known to happen.
184
00:07:00,195 --> 00:07:01,445
Until my ship comes in,
185
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:02,759
I guess it's cupcakes.
186
00:07:03,138 --> 00:07:05,270
Georgie, check it out.
187
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,814
Oh, man, I hate
that he's doing this.
188
00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:09,327
What? It's cute.
189
00:07:09,415 --> 00:07:10,970
It's embarrassing.
190
00:07:11,189 --> 00:07:12,946
I would think
you'd be proud of him.
191
00:07:13,462 --> 00:07:15,383
That's 'cause you're
a better person than me.
192
00:07:15,665 --> 00:07:18,312
Maybe you ought to ask God
to take away your anger
193
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,609
and replace it with love.
194
00:07:19,697 --> 00:07:22,042
Can I ask him to take away
my brother instead?
195
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,391
Georgie.
196
00:07:23,798 --> 00:07:24,972
Not kill him...
197
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:27,106
Just strand him
on an island somewhere.
198
00:07:27,977 --> 00:07:29,312
A nice island,
199
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,185
with coconuts and stuff.
200
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:48,963
Nell Cavanaugh,
201
00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:51,462
it appears
we're taking the mittens off.
202
00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,462
Well, that's unfortunate.
203
00:07:54,550 --> 00:07:56,520
Oh, this goes
well beyond unfortunate.
204
00:07:56,608 --> 00:07:57,991
It's flat-out unfair.
205
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,515
Did you not say that
you love homework?
206
00:08:00,602 --> 00:08:02,430
Of course I said it.
I say it all the time.
207
00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:05,397
But she took it out of context
and is using it against me.
208
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,513
Well, that is what
happens in politics.
209
00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:09,062
People stretch the truth.
210
00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,992
Well, those people
are dirty dogs.
211
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,447
They certainly are.
212
00:08:12,541 --> 00:08:14,080
Now, let me ask you something.
213
00:08:14,188 --> 00:08:16,393
How bad do you want
to win this election?
214
00:08:16,525 --> 00:08:19,049
Bad enough to let
105 kids shake my mitten.
215
00:08:19,137 --> 00:08:20,822
Okay, then you need
to toughen up.
216
00:08:20,910 --> 00:08:23,135
Politics is not
for the weak-kneed.
217
00:08:23,282 --> 00:08:25,975
Are you suggesting
that I fight fire with fire?
218
00:08:26,063 --> 00:08:27,629
I am.
219
00:08:27,852 --> 00:08:30,385
So going to my room and crying
in my pillow is not an option?
220
00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:31,947
It is not.
221
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,572
Then I have some thinking to do.
222
00:08:38,127 --> 00:08:39,293
Oh, yeah.
223
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,525
You're screwed.
224
00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:42,144
Which is why I
need your help.
225
00:08:42,232 --> 00:08:43,410
Why me?
226
00:08:43,498 --> 00:08:46,126
You're ruthless. I've seen
you cheat at Candy Land.
227
00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:48,240
Thanks. Go on.
228
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,609
Well, I'd like to retaliate,
229
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,392
but I don't know
anything about her.
230
00:08:51,479 --> 00:08:52,959
Make something up.
231
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,578
Ooh, tell people
she has head lice.
232
00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:57,485
I won't resort to lying.
233
00:08:58,743 --> 00:09:00,657
There's a Denise Cavanaugh
in my class.
234
00:09:00,745 --> 00:09:02,151
Could be her little sister.
235
00:09:02,239 --> 00:09:03,306
So?
236
00:09:03,394 --> 00:09:05,102
I'll see if I can dig up
something about Nell
237
00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:06,392
you can use against her.
238
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,104
Thank you.
239
00:09:08,892 --> 00:09:10,679
Georgie, I hate
to have to ask this,
240
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,408
but are you going
to vote for me?
241
00:09:12,505 --> 00:09:13,767
No. Go away.
242
00:09:13,855 --> 00:09:14,987
Are you sure?
243
00:09:15,075 --> 00:09:17,041
If I win, I can make
you a hall monitor.
244
00:09:17,129 --> 00:09:19,463
Imagine the respect
you'll get then.
245
00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:21,220
Get lost.
246
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:30,867
Lord, please take away
my anger toward my stupid brother.
247
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,433
My life is hard enough.
248
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,070
Don't let him be president.
249
00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,224
And while we're talking,
250
00:09:36,312 --> 00:09:38,351
Veronica... help me out.
251
00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:41,390
Encourage her to do something
with me she'll regret.
252
00:09:41,568 --> 00:09:43,092
Amen.
253
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,677
Remember,
254
00:09:46,765 --> 00:09:49,781
tomorrow
we'll be dissecting worms!
255
00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:52,851
Ah, your sadness
makes me happy.
256
00:09:53,036 --> 00:09:55,335
Mr. Givens,
I just wanted you to know
257
00:09:55,423 --> 00:09:57,240
that I'm still working hard
on my campaign
258
00:09:57,328 --> 00:09:59,218
to get more funding
for the science department.
259
00:09:59,306 --> 00:10:02,328
Oh, great, 'cause I've got to
dig up tomorrow's worms myself.
260
00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:05,111
Anything you can do to help
me win a decisive victory
261
00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:07,335
come Election Day
would be much appreciated.
262
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:08,757
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
263
00:10:08,845 --> 00:10:11,171
the faculty doesn't get involved
in student elections.
264
00:10:11,259 --> 00:10:12,681
Oh, I understand.
265
00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:15,075
You have to remain neutral.
Wink, wink.
266
00:10:16,023 --> 00:10:17,437
I'm sorry, wink, wink?
267
00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:20,136
You want new science equipment
and I want that for you.
268
00:10:20,224 --> 00:10:22,923
One hand washes the other.
Wink, wink.
269
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,601
Oh, sure, wink, wink.
270
00:10:25,689 --> 00:10:28,301
Now you're getting it.
Wink, wink.
271
00:10:28,944 --> 00:10:30,434
Wink, wink.
272
00:10:30,522 --> 00:10:31,796
Wink, wink.
273
00:10:32,664 --> 00:10:34,367
That kid creeps me out.
274
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:37,635
Another hurdle in my
political career was glossophobia:
275
00:10:37,723 --> 00:10:39,140
fear of public speaking.
276
00:10:39,228 --> 00:10:42,414
I've been known to experience
dry mouth, perspiration,
277
00:10:42,501 --> 00:10:44,632
heart palpitations,
and fainting.
278
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,460
A similar response
to what I experience
279
00:10:46,548 --> 00:10:48,159
around unleashed dogs.
280
00:10:48,379 --> 00:10:49,960
Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.
281
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:51,789
Can I please speak
with Pastor Jeff?
282
00:10:52,038 --> 00:10:53,365
Hold on.
283
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:57,971
Hey, Sheldon,
what can I do for you?
284
00:10:58,136 --> 00:10:59,951
I need to give
a speech at school,
285
00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:01,867
but I have a fear
of public speaking.
286
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,475
Since you give a sermon
every Sunday,
287
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,772
I was hoping you'd have
some words of advice.
288
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:07,959
As a matter of fact, I do.
289
00:11:08,204 --> 00:11:11,642
When I look down on my
congregation and I feel nervous,
290
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,602
I just ask the Lord
to speak through me.
291
00:11:15,084 --> 00:11:16,885
Like a ventriloquist?
292
00:11:16,972 --> 00:11:18,108
Not exactly.
293
00:11:18,196 --> 00:11:19,720
I think of it more as a...
294
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,139
Like one of the Muppets?
295
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,458
No, not that either.
296
00:11:22,546 --> 00:11:24,287
'Cause you do look
a little like Kermit.
297
00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:26,812
Uh, okay, good luck to you,
Sheldon.
298
00:11:27,717 --> 00:11:28,850
Hello.
299
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,158
Dr. Sturgis.
Can you give me any advice
300
00:11:31,246 --> 00:11:33,404
on how to overcome a fear
of public speaking?
301
00:11:33,529 --> 00:11:36,233
Ah, you know,
when I was a young man
302
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,983
I had a terrible fear
of speaking to an audience.
303
00:11:40,121 --> 00:11:41,428
What did you do?
304
00:11:41,516 --> 00:11:44,029
Actually, it kinda took care
of itself.
305
00:11:44,274 --> 00:11:47,647
One day I was, uh,
playing miniature golf
306
00:11:47,735 --> 00:11:51,341
with some colleagues
and I got struck by lightning.
307
00:11:51,558 --> 00:11:53,791
- Oh, dear.
- No, it was fine.
308
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:58,303
When I came to, I found myself
with the gift of gab.
309
00:11:58,415 --> 00:11:59,590
Big crowds,
310
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:02,092
small crowds,
you couldn't shut me up.
311
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,965
I don't see how
that can benefit me.
312
00:12:04,129 --> 00:12:06,840
Not unless you'd like me
to take you miniature golfing
313
00:12:06,928 --> 00:12:09,581
next time there are clouds
on the horizon.
314
00:12:18,578 --> 00:12:20,581
- Everything okay?
- No.
315
00:12:20,669 --> 00:12:23,411
I have to give a speech
in front of the entire assembly.
316
00:12:23,573 --> 00:12:26,034
Oh. Got a little stage fright?
317
00:12:26,176 --> 00:12:27,787
Unfortunately so.
318
00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:31,104
Just thinking about it
causes my bladder to misbehave.
319
00:12:31,628 --> 00:12:33,440
Yeah, I been there.
320
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,893
You have?
321
00:12:34,981 --> 00:12:36,330
Sure.
322
00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:37,792
When I first started coaching,
323
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,533
I was real nervous
to talk to the team,
324
00:12:39,621 --> 00:12:41,620
you know,
give a locker room speech.
325
00:12:41,737 --> 00:12:43,565
Then, one day
it dawned on me,
326
00:12:43,661 --> 00:12:45,503
I'm not just talking
to football players,
327
00:12:45,715 --> 00:12:48,011
I'm talking
to teenage football players.
328
00:12:48,243 --> 00:12:50,323
Most of them aren't listening
to a word I'm saying.
329
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:52,468
That's an interesting
perspective.
330
00:12:52,556 --> 00:12:53,987
I'll tell you
something else.
331
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:56,714
You don't give yourself enough
credit for how brave you are.
332
00:12:57,315 --> 00:12:58,878
- I don't?
- No.
333
00:12:58,966 --> 00:13:02,012
Sheldon, you are ten years old,
going to high school.
334
00:13:02,299 --> 00:13:05,389
Everyone's older than you,
everyone's bigger than you,
335
00:13:05,562 --> 00:13:08,839
but you keep at it,
day after day.
336
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,276
That's brave.
337
00:13:11,794 --> 00:13:13,854
Any kid who can do that
could give a speech
338
00:13:13,942 --> 00:13:16,479
to the United Nations
if he had to.
339
00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:20,095
Thanks, Dad.
340
00:13:29,748 --> 00:13:31,417
I heard what you
said in there.
341
00:13:31,556 --> 00:13:33,602
- That was very beautiful.
- Thanks.
342
00:13:33,798 --> 00:13:36,253
I gave a similar speech
to my team last week.
343
00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:38,807
Boy, did we get
our asses kicked.
344
00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:45,844
Emboldened
by my father's pep talk,
345
00:13:45,932 --> 00:13:47,743
I began working on my speech.
346
00:13:47,831 --> 00:13:50,082
I aspired to walk
in the footsteps
347
00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:51,571
of history's greatest orators:
348
00:13:51,659 --> 00:13:54,266
Socrates, Winston Churchill,
349
00:13:54,354 --> 00:13:57,292
and, last but not least,
Professor Proton.
350
00:13:57,534 --> 00:13:59,212
Hey, I spoke to Nell's sister.
351
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,206
Found out some
interesting stuff.
352
00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:04,393
Thanks, but I've decided I don't
want to stoop to her level.
353
00:14:04,589 --> 00:14:06,727
If I can't win on the quality
of my ideas,
354
00:14:06,815 --> 00:14:08,899
then I'd rather lose
with my head held high.
355
00:14:09,096 --> 00:14:10,235
That's really stupid,
356
00:14:10,323 --> 00:14:12,104
but in case you change
your mind...
357
00:14:15,424 --> 00:14:17,065
All right, y'all have heard
358
00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:19,627
from your secretary candidates,
your treasurer candidates,
359
00:14:19,714 --> 00:14:22,360
your vice presidents...
360
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:24,589
It's time for the big finale,
361
00:14:25,104 --> 00:14:28,104
the closing event,
the headliners...
362
00:14:28,495 --> 00:14:31,245
Nell Cavanaugh
and Sheldon Cooper.
363
00:14:31,393 --> 00:14:34,212
One of these two will be
president of your class,
364
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:37,651
so listen to what they've got
to say and choose wisely,
365
00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:40,432
which will be a whole new
experience for most of you.
366
00:14:40,971 --> 00:14:44,290
Remember, heckling
will get you detention.
367
00:14:44,378 --> 00:14:45,542
Bite me!
368
00:14:45,846 --> 00:14:47,930
Bryan Larkin, two days!
369
00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:49,581
You want to try for a week?
370
00:14:50,198 --> 00:14:51,581
I didn't think so.
371
00:14:52,096 --> 00:14:53,870
Nell, floor is yours.
372
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:02,802
Nell!
373
00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:06,007
Thank you, Ms. MacElroy,
374
00:15:06,095 --> 00:15:08,946
Principal Petersen,
our hard-working teachers,
375
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,678
and my fellow students.
376
00:15:10,766 --> 00:15:13,647
I'm blessed to call
so many of you friends.
377
00:15:13,735 --> 00:15:15,516
Y'all probably know everything
about me already.
378
00:15:15,603 --> 00:15:17,407
Lord knows I love to talk.
379
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,852
So instead of going on
about myself,
380
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:25,220
I'd like to talk to you
about my opponent.
381
00:15:25,352 --> 00:15:27,271
Sheldon Cooper has been lobbying
382
00:15:27,397 --> 00:15:29,133
for new science equipment here
at Medford High,
383
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:33,048
and while that sounds wonderful,
the truth is,
384
00:15:33,258 --> 00:15:38,665
he thinks our school wastes
its money on football.
385
00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:43,021
Do we really want
a class president
386
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,485
who doesn't care about football?
387
00:15:46,634 --> 00:15:48,345
No!
388
00:15:48,551 --> 00:15:51,218
I know I am proud to be
a Medford High cheerleader,
389
00:15:51,306 --> 00:15:53,204
and I love football!
390
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,825
But you know the one thing
391
00:15:56,913 --> 00:16:00,525
I love more than football?
392
00:16:01,698 --> 00:16:03,222
God.
393
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,647
Let me tell you
another interesting fact
394
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:10,858
about my opponent.
395
00:16:10,946 --> 00:16:15,063
Did you know that Sheldon Cooper
is an atheist?
396
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,173
That's right.
397
00:16:17,329 --> 00:16:19,405
He doesn't believe in God.
398
00:16:20,352 --> 00:16:21,991
Just keep that in mind
399
00:16:22,079 --> 00:16:24,087
when you cast your vote today.
400
00:16:24,539 --> 00:16:27,282
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
Go Wolves!
401
00:16:35,256 --> 00:16:37,985
And now, please welcome
Sheldon Cooper.
402
00:16:51,154 --> 00:16:53,896
No one would fault
you if you ran out the back door.
403
00:17:19,813 --> 00:17:23,469
Nell Cavanaugh is... a Yankee.
404
00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:29,046
She may love football
and she may love God,
405
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:31,082
but she was born in Scarsdale.
406
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,834
That's in New York.
407
00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:36,671
There's more.
408
00:17:36,759 --> 00:17:40,494
My opponent didn't move to Texas
until she was seven years old.
409
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,251
In fact, in her bedroom
410
00:17:42,339 --> 00:17:45,603
there's a pennant
for the New York Yankees.
411
00:17:50,189 --> 00:17:51,681
While I may not be a fan
412
00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:53,296
of organized religion or sports,
413
00:17:53,384 --> 00:17:56,687
I promise, if you vote for me,
I'll do my best
414
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:59,681
to get new science equipment
for our school.
415
00:18:03,264 --> 00:18:04,701
Uh...
416
00:18:05,288 --> 00:18:07,420
Don't mess with Texas!
417
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:15,564
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
418
00:18:15,652 --> 00:18:19,395
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon!
419
00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:21,919
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
420
00:18:22,006 --> 00:18:24,138
Sheldon! Sheldon!
421
00:18:40,025 --> 00:18:42,267
Before I
became Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
422
00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:44,228
I was President Sheldon Cooper.
423
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:45,486
And I don't mind telling you,
424
00:18:45,574 --> 00:18:47,806
they both look pretty darn
good on business cards.
425
00:18:47,903 --> 00:18:49,791
One of my first
responsibilities
426
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,510
as class president
was delivering
427
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,079
the morning announcements.
428
00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:55,561
Please rise
for the Pledge of Allegiance.
429
00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:59,391
I pledge allegiance
to the Flag...
430
00:18:59,478 --> 00:19:01,683
Of the
United States of America...
431
00:19:01,788 --> 00:19:04,573
And to the
Republic for which it stands...
432
00:19:04,661 --> 00:19:06,054
One Nation...
433
00:19:06,142 --> 00:19:08,318
Here's a fun fact
about the next two words:
434
00:19:08,406 --> 00:19:10,761
"Under God" wasn't added
to the Pledge of Allegiance
435
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,378
until 1954.
436
00:19:12,535 --> 00:19:14,493
My first act as your president
437
00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:16,745
is to remove the words
"under God" from the Pledge
438
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:17,964
in order to honor
439
00:19:18,052 --> 00:19:19,409
the separation
of church and state
440
00:19:19,497 --> 00:19:20,917
in this public high school.
441
00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:22,223
Okay, that's enough.
442
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,019
You can't take my microphone.
443
00:19:24,107 --> 00:19:25,308
I'm the president.: Thank you.
444
00:19:25,645 --> 00:19:27,370
All right, let's try this again.
445
00:19:27,913 --> 00:19:29,940
I pledge allegiance
to the Flag...
446
00:19:30,028 --> 00:19:32,247
Of the United States of America,
447
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:35,299
and to the Republic
for which it stands...
448
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,738
One Nation
449
00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:37,925
under God,
450
00:19:38,013 --> 00:19:40,972
indivisible, with liberty
and justice for all.
451
00:19:41,099 --> 00:19:43,014
Captioning sponsored by
CBS.
452
00:19:43,102 --> 00:19:44,839
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
453
00:19:44,927 --> 00:19:47,087
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
454
00:19:50,454 --> 00:19:52,808
Sync corrections by srjanapala
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