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1
00:01:23,791 --> 00:01:27,193
Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet
Dr. Alvin Weasely.
2
00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:33,268
Dr. Weasely is one of the most respected
motivational researchers in the country.
3
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:37,007
Harveys Beer has dropped 84%.
4
00:01:37,778 --> 00:01:42,581
So Dr. Weasely will tell us how the
American public really feels about beer.
5
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,251
Dr. Weasely.
6
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:49,054
Beer is for men who doubt
their masculinity.
7
00:01:49,928 --> 00:01:53,764
That's why it's so popular
at sporting events and poker games.
8
00:01:54,869 --> 00:01:56,861
On a superficial level...
9
00:01:57,005 --> 00:02:00,841
a glass of beer is a cool,
soothing beverage.
10
00:02:01,645 --> 00:02:03,273
But in reality...
11
00:02:03,815 --> 00:02:06,546
a glass of beer is pee-pee dickey.
12
00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:11,521
- That's it.
- Beautiful.
13
00:02:12,728 --> 00:02:14,025
Beautiful.
14
00:02:15,164 --> 00:02:16,256
Beautiful.
15
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:18,395
Beautiful.
16
00:02:19,471 --> 00:02:20,802
Beautiful.
17
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,037
"Pee-pee dickey?"
18
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:28,346
- We paid for that?
- $28,000, and we got off easy.
19
00:02:29,084 --> 00:02:31,986
The man made some
very perceptive statements.
20
00:02:32,188 --> 00:02:35,921
I got it.
"Make it big with Harveys Beer."
21
00:02:36,929 --> 00:02:39,626
Big foam.
You get a big bang out of it.
22
00:02:40,768 --> 00:02:44,205
Big, proud head.
It's big and it lasts long--
23
00:02:44,306 --> 00:02:46,867
You know, you're about as subtle
as an elephant in heat.
24
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:49,776
That's great. We'll show an elephant
sipping Harveys Beer at the circus.
25
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,908
- It's obscene.
- Don't moralize, Elias.
26
00:02:53,485 --> 00:02:56,979
- We're committed to Harveys Beer.
- I'm committed to myself.
27
00:02:57,091 --> 00:02:59,652
Harveys Beer is
the worst beer in the market.
28
00:02:59,761 --> 00:03:01,787
It's a loser. Get rid of it.
29
00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:04,561
There are no losers.
Every product has potential--
30
00:03:04,668 --> 00:03:05,795
It's a stiff.
31
00:03:05,904 --> 00:03:08,237
No, no don't say that.
There's no such thing.
32
00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:09,365
You're a stiff.
33
00:03:09,475 --> 00:03:11,842
I'll not tolerate
your self-indulgence.
34
00:03:11,945 --> 00:03:13,004
When your father comes in...
35
00:03:13,114 --> 00:03:14,843
I'm gonna tell him
exactly what you've said.
36
00:03:14,949 --> 00:03:17,647
Just because you were here
when my old man started this agency...
37
00:03:17,754 --> 00:03:19,415
you know,
that doesn't alter the facts.
38
00:03:19,522 --> 00:03:22,925
You've played so many sides of the fence
you don't know where the fence is anymore.
39
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,827
- I know my job.
- Oh, that's beautiful.
40
00:03:25,932 --> 00:03:28,766
If it weren't for your father,
you'd be on welfare.
41
00:03:28,869 --> 00:03:31,669
$60,000 a year,
and all you can do is wreck the joint.
42
00:03:31,774 --> 00:03:34,767
He's right. He's not creative,
but he knows the rules.
43
00:03:34,878 --> 00:03:37,177
And you gotta know the rules
before you can break the rules.
44
00:03:37,281 --> 00:03:39,546
- Right.
- There's no respect anymore.
45
00:03:39,651 --> 00:03:43,053
He's right, Nathan.
You did your tango 30 years ago.
46
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:44,385
Fascist!
47
00:03:45,494 --> 00:03:47,462
Duck hunter loses his rifle...
48
00:03:47,897 --> 00:03:50,958
walks seven miles to a cathouse,
knocks on the door.
49
00:03:51,101 --> 00:03:54,128
The door opens, the madam says,
"Who sent you?"
50
00:03:55,074 --> 00:03:59,341
He says, "In the '40s,
it was Judy Canova and Victor Mature.
51
00:04:00,214 --> 00:04:04,812
"In the '50s, it was Christine Jorgensen
and James Dean.
52
00:04:05,588 --> 00:04:08,717
"In the '60s,
it was Smith & Wesson."
53
00:04:12,598 --> 00:04:13,896
That's it.
54
00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:18,533
He was a nice guy.
55
00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:24,944
Can you lend me five?
56
00:04:26,485 --> 00:04:30,617
Our job is to manipulate the consumer
by arousing his desires...
57
00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:34,286
and then we satisfy those desires
for a fixed price.
58
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,262
- Sounds familiar.
- It sounds familiar.
59
00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:41,565
It's called advertising.
60
00:04:46,581 --> 00:04:47,605
Yes?
61
00:04:50,987 --> 00:04:52,318
Thank you.
62
00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:56,287
Elias Sr.
just went through the lobby.
63
00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:57,884
Well, let's go.
64
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,766
Let's go, Bissinger.
65
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:06,336
Our war toy account
is up 23% and a third.
66
00:05:06,509 --> 00:05:08,978
Hey, Bissinger,
you better get hip to reality.
67
00:05:09,079 --> 00:05:12,573
By advertising toy guns, you're
encouraging kids to enjoy violence.
68
00:05:12,684 --> 00:05:14,949
You're only Music Director
around here, Swope.
69
00:05:15,088 --> 00:05:17,057
What do you know about
the total spectrum?
70
00:05:17,158 --> 00:05:20,458
- I know what I feel.
- What's that got to do with it?
71
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,757
- I think we should drop the account.
- How dare you!
72
00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:26,598
Drop the account and show
the business community and the public...
73
00:05:26,704 --> 00:05:28,866
that we're morally
and socially responsible.
74
00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:31,068
- Groovy, let's do it.
- Thank you.
75
00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:32,440
Putney...
76
00:05:32,546 --> 00:05:36,746
I've been supervising the war
toy account for 1 2 years.
77
00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:40,317
And let me tell you something.
78
00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:45,597
Deny a young boy
the right to have a toy gun...
79
00:05:46,532 --> 00:05:49,434
and you'll suppress his
destructive urges...
80
00:05:50,138 --> 00:05:52,869
and he'll turn out
to be a homosexual...
81
00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:57,706
- or worse:
- I'd rather have my son be a fag than a killer.
82
00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,943
Your son is a fag!
83
00:06:00,052 --> 00:06:02,544
You took him on the picnic hike,
I didn't.
84
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,762
Last year at Malibu,
only Jim was a fag.
85
00:06:08,431 --> 00:06:11,265
Two weeks ago,
Steve and Ralph came over.
86
00:06:12,336 --> 00:06:14,168
Yesterday, Randy came over.
87
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,540
There it is.
88
00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:25,453
The fraught priest is on the road.
It's 3:00 a.m...
89
00:06:25,555 --> 00:06:28,787
he's got a flat tire and it's raining.
So he goes up to this farmhouse--
90
00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:31,054
We're grossing less
than $1 million a day...
91
00:06:31,162 --> 00:06:34,395
and you're talking about
flat tires and farmhouses?
92
00:06:36,537 --> 00:06:38,266
Get out of my life.
93
00:06:45,182 --> 00:06:46,946
Good morning, Mario.
94
00:06:51,225 --> 00:06:52,556
Good afternoon, Mario.
95
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:55,961
Every consumer has a small box
in his head.
96
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,097
Everyone has a soapbox.
97
00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:02,105
A breadbox. A cereal box.
98
00:07:02,207 --> 00:07:04,972
A shampoo box.
99
00:07:05,445 --> 00:07:07,380
This box is the target...
100
00:07:07,481 --> 00:07:11,441
of $46 billion
a year in advertising.
101
00:07:12,955 --> 00:07:17,223
Now, there's only so much room
in each box...
102
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:22,861
and if we overload these boxes
with too much information...
103
00:07:23,271 --> 00:07:25,466
they won't remember anything.
104
00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:27,201
But...
105
00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:29,904
if we use...
106
00:07:30,247 --> 00:07:32,716
creative foreplay...
107
00:07:32,818 --> 00:07:35,049
before we penetrate...
108
00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:37,150
we'll...
109
00:07:41,463 --> 00:07:42,692
Benefit.
110
00:07:44,568 --> 00:07:45,728
Bypass?
111
00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:48,369
Looks like...
112
00:07:49,441 --> 00:07:50,703
Sounds like...
113
00:07:50,809 --> 00:07:52,778
How many syllables, Mario?
114
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,406
How many syllables, Mario?
115
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,742
How many syllables, Mario?
116
00:07:58,153 --> 00:08:00,145
How many syllables, Mario?
117
00:08:08,702 --> 00:08:10,102
We'll never know.
118
00:08:15,378 --> 00:08:18,314
- I'm going to the track.
- Have a ball, baby.
119
00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:33,963
What do you think
of those cuff links?
120
00:08:34,071 --> 00:08:36,063
How many syllables, Mario?
121
00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:38,400
How many syllables, Mario?
122
00:08:38,745 --> 00:08:40,737
How many syllables, Mario?
123
00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,007
How many syllables, Mario?
124
00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,310
How many syllables, Mario?
125
00:08:46,022 --> 00:08:47,991
How many syllables, Mario?
126
00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:50,083
How many syllables, Mario?
127
00:08:50,929 --> 00:08:52,955
How many syllables, Mario?
128
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:56,733
I'm the Senior Vice President,
so I'm the new chairman of--
129
00:08:56,838 --> 00:08:58,066
Bullshit.
130
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:08,716
The corporate bylaws
make it very clear...
131
00:09:08,821 --> 00:09:13,419
that the only way we can determine
a new chairman is by democratic process.
132
00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:22,168
Paragraph 68 specifically states...
133
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,807
that nobody can vote for himself.
134
00:09:25,545 --> 00:09:28,515
That's what it says,
so that's where it's at.
135
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:37,688
Vote for me, and I'll get you
into the Knights of Columbus.
136
00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:41,493
Vote for me,
I'll give you 10% of the business.
137
00:09:43,436 --> 00:09:44,461
25%.
138
00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:46,630
Vote for me...
139
00:09:47,342 --> 00:09:49,903
and I'll set you up
in Puerto Rico...
140
00:09:50,848 --> 00:09:52,110
for life.
141
00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:54,752
I got Puerto Ricans in my building.
142
00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:58,052
Enough carcass.
Let's get the votes in.
143
00:09:58,158 --> 00:10:00,684
How can we talk about
who's gonna be chairman of the board...
144
00:10:00,795 --> 00:10:02,991
when my father's laying
dead on the table?
145
00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:06,263
Why can't I be
chairman of the board?
146
00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:07,598
Because you're a nitwit.
147
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:11,540
My father started this agency.
And you're not going to finish it.
148
00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:16,817
Thank you, Valerie.
149
00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:34,531
One for Elias.
150
00:10:39,717 --> 00:10:40,844
Swope.
151
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:45,781
One for Bissinger.
152
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,395
Swope.
153
00:10:59,412 --> 00:11:00,436
Swope.
154
00:11:07,089 --> 00:11:08,216
Swope.
155
00:11:13,666 --> 00:11:14,792
Swope.
156
00:11:21,843 --> 00:11:22,970
Swope.
157
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:29,579
Swope.
158
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:38,594
Swope.
159
00:11:50,151 --> 00:11:51,311
Swope.
160
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,388
That's it.
161
00:11:56,326 --> 00:11:59,889
One vote for Elias,
one vote for Bissinger...
162
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,396
nine votes for Swope.
163
00:12:03,169 --> 00:12:06,333
Swope, you don't have to accept.
164
00:12:06,775 --> 00:12:08,937
It's a terrible job.
165
00:12:09,078 --> 00:12:11,172
Don't take it, Swope.
166
00:12:11,281 --> 00:12:14,410
Take it easy, Nathan.
I've seen your cardiogram.
167
00:12:14,519 --> 00:12:16,317
It's a mirage.
168
00:12:16,555 --> 00:12:19,116
A man's been elected
and you voted for him.
169
00:12:19,226 --> 00:12:21,024
We all voted for him.
170
00:12:21,963 --> 00:12:24,933
Because we thought
no one else would vote for him.
171
00:12:26,102 --> 00:12:30,200
Putney Swope is the new chairman
of this board.
172
00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:34,675
And I will defend
that mistake with my life.
173
00:12:38,153 --> 00:12:41,214
Congratulations, Putney.
174
00:12:44,629 --> 00:12:47,895
It's going to be a pleasure
working with you, Swope.
175
00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:54,141
You're gonna make
a great chairman...
176
00:12:55,611 --> 00:12:56,976
if you stay in line.
177
00:12:59,883 --> 00:13:02,182
My father would've
wanted it this way.
178
00:13:03,455 --> 00:13:05,219
He dug you very much.
179
00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:07,954
Your father was a horse's ass.
180
00:13:10,365 --> 00:13:13,062
Yeah. But he dug you very much.
181
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:32,721
The changes I'm going to make
will be minimal.
182
00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:34,560
I'm not going to rock the boat.
183
00:13:34,666 --> 00:13:36,464
Rocking the boat's a drag.
184
00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,105
What you do is sink the boat.
185
00:13:39,206 --> 00:13:40,936
And there's no sense
sinking nothing...
186
00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:44,103
unless you can salvage
with productive alternatives...
187
00:13:44,213 --> 00:13:47,651
and, brothers, you can't change nothing
with rhetoric and slogans...
188
00:13:47,752 --> 00:13:50,847
because if a man's really got
the truth in his pocket...
189
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,356
he doesn't talk about it.
190
00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:55,657
He hangs it out on a shingle
where people can see it.
191
00:13:55,763 --> 00:13:59,360
So, from now on,
the name of this agency is...
192
00:13:59,469 --> 00:14:01,563
Truth and Soul.
193
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:04,039
- T.S., baby.
- That's right.
194
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:06,175
No smoking.
195
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,154
Nathan, you're a good businessman
and you're not a cop-out...
196
00:14:15,258 --> 00:14:17,055
so I'm going to let you stay.
197
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,097
I want a contract that guarantees me
an expense account...
198
00:14:20,232 --> 00:14:22,724
stock options, 22 weeks vacation...
199
00:14:22,936 --> 00:14:25,701
a company car,
a box at Jay Stadium...
200
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,340
a percentage of the gross,
total creative freedom...
201
00:14:29,478 --> 00:14:32,607
transplant insurance
and a no-cut clause.
202
00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:38,121
- Nathan, you're corrupt.
- Thank you.
203
00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:44,021
I've come all the way from Miles City
to ask you to be my woman.
204
00:14:45,768 --> 00:14:49,000
It must be my new depilatory,
Superlip.
205
00:14:50,174 --> 00:14:53,737
Superlip eliminates peach fuzz
and feminine whiskers.
206
00:14:53,846 --> 00:14:56,577
Superlip digs deep down
into the hair follicle...
207
00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:59,175
instead of just lopping
it off at the surface.
208
00:14:59,822 --> 00:15:01,414
Cut! Cut!
209
00:15:06,798 --> 00:15:09,495
I don't believe it. Again.
210
00:15:14,576 --> 00:15:17,512
There's a bunch of lilies
shooting a commercial in our studio.
211
00:15:17,613 --> 00:15:19,707
They must not know
about the recent transition.
212
00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:21,808
Well, let's go take
care of business.
213
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:28,227
This chick's from nowhere.
So it's up to you.
214
00:15:29,063 --> 00:15:31,328
lmprovise. Do something.
215
00:15:32,835 --> 00:15:35,532
I've seen you work at Jones Beach
with Guy Lombardo.
216
00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:37,301
I know you can pull it off.
217
00:15:38,209 --> 00:15:39,973
Superlip. Shot 1.
218
00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:42,177
Take 107.
219
00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:44,475
- Action.
- Action!
220
00:15:47,923 --> 00:15:49,414
Lady Beaver...
221
00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:53,493
I've come all the way from Biloxi
to ask you to be my woman.
222
00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:55,995
Wayne.
223
00:15:56,335 --> 00:15:59,169
You do go on.
224
00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:05,539
I have a malignancy
in my prostrate
225
00:16:05,649 --> 00:16:09,381
But when you're in my arms,
it's benign
226
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:14,159
I don't feel it.
227
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:19,092
- What did you say?
- I am not going to say it.
228
00:16:19,469 --> 00:16:21,164
- It is stupid.
- Cut.
229
00:16:21,972 --> 00:16:25,500
Listen, sweetie,
I could be home writing my novel.
230
00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:29,745
You could be playing Lady Macbeth
in some basement.
231
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,378
We're both here, aren't we?
232
00:16:32,987 --> 00:16:34,353
That's okay.
233
00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:35,815
Let's do it.
234
00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:38,258
- Let's do it!
- Let's do it.
235
00:17:01,595 --> 00:17:04,565
I have a malignancy
in my prostrate
236
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,459
But when you're in my arms,
it's...
237
00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,196
Quitting time!
238
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,167
Get on out!
239
00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:15,874
Yeah, no more taking pictures
of no jive cans and jive bottles...
240
00:17:15,982 --> 00:17:18,008
and skinny-legged broads
with stockings on them.
241
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:19,086
Get on out of here!
242
00:17:19,187 --> 00:17:22,021
We're gonna have some greasy fingers
and some chicken...
243
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,650
and all the beautiful things
that people have...
244
00:17:24,761 --> 00:17:26,787
who have it. And you ain't got it.
245
00:17:26,897 --> 00:17:28,763
So get on out. You understand?
246
00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:31,063
We're not gonna take
any more of your jives.
247
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:33,935
'Cause we're Truth and Soul,
you understand?
248
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:36,876
Truth and Soul, 'cause we got it...
249
00:17:36,979 --> 00:17:39,608
and we got a brother
that's gonna make it right.
250
00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:40,910
We got brother Putney.
251
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:42,143
Okay.
252
00:17:43,487 --> 00:17:45,285
Every single account pulled out.
253
00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:48,019
I wish I had pulled out.
Too many dependents, baby.
254
00:17:48,127 --> 00:17:49,493
It looks bad.
255
00:17:49,597 --> 00:17:52,328
Swope, I think we're
still in the ball game.
256
00:17:52,434 --> 00:17:55,165
Wing Soney just got off the elevator
and he's dying to meet you.
257
00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:56,637
- Wing Soney?
- Wing Soney.
258
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:57,901
Wowee.
259
00:18:18,676 --> 00:18:22,078
Hey, man, what's this thing?
Do-it-yourself Pearl Harbor?
260
00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:23,205
He's Chinese, Swope.
261
00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:25,945
I don't care what he is.
We're gonna get that account.
262
00:18:26,053 --> 00:18:27,145
Let's go.
263
00:18:30,593 --> 00:18:33,927
Wing Soney,
say hello to Putney Swope.
264
00:18:34,665 --> 00:18:37,568
Mr. Swope, I'm not a happy chappy.
265
00:18:38,771 --> 00:18:41,570
The agency that's currently
handling my merchandise...
266
00:18:41,675 --> 00:18:43,837
is the biggest nosebleed in town.
267
00:18:44,212 --> 00:18:46,181
Now, I have a new item...
268
00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:49,247
and I dig to launch
it with a new outfit.
269
00:18:49,353 --> 00:18:52,289
So let me tell you about
the Get- Out- Of- Here Mousetrap.
270
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,529
The Get- Out- Of- Here Mousetrap
is a unique breakthrough...
271
00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:58,792
because after it traps a rodent...
272
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,765
it chemically cremates.
273
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:04,399
No flame, no noise, no mouse.
274
00:19:05,075 --> 00:19:06,600
I invented it myself.
275
00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:09,237
- Mr. Soney, you're not gonna believe this...
- Then don't tell me.
276
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:10,543
...but for the past six minutes...
277
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,620
I've been working on
a whole new approach to mousetraps.
278
00:19:14,255 --> 00:19:15,655
Lay it on them, Nathan.
279
00:19:20,431 --> 00:19:22,195
Columbus is on the Santa Maria.
280
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:24,292
The crew's Italian.
281
00:19:24,537 --> 00:19:26,597
Columbus walks down
the gangplank...
282
00:19:26,706 --> 00:19:29,540
and waiting at the bottom
is a middle-aged Indian.
283
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,646
Columbus knocks
the Indian on his ass...
284
00:19:32,748 --> 00:19:34,979
and sticks the Spanish
flag in the ground.
285
00:19:35,085 --> 00:19:38,250
And out of the bushes
comes a 75-year-old squaw...
286
00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:41,119
with a cleft head,
and an ax in her back.
287
00:19:41,227 --> 00:19:42,854
But the Indian starts to cry...
288
00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:45,090
because he knows
he's going to be exploited.
289
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,332
Columbus puts his arm around the Indian,
points to the crew, and says...
290
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,203
"In exchange for your land,
I'll give you 50 guineas."
291
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,677
Cut to a shot
of a Get- Out- Of- Here Mousetrap...
292
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:58,012
tell him how much it costs,
where you buy it, and that's it.
293
00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:01,186
It's the most fantastic
thing I ever heard.
294
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:03,455
Who's your shrink?
295
00:20:05,628 --> 00:20:06,857
I dig it.
296
00:20:07,698 --> 00:20:09,963
- I dig it.
- I dig it.
297
00:20:10,068 --> 00:20:12,196
My mousetrap is yours.
298
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,833
You've revitalized me, Swope.
299
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,638
This way.
300
00:20:19,781 --> 00:20:21,409
I'm a happy chink.
301
00:20:24,421 --> 00:20:26,617
We did it, Swope. We did it.
302
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,861
- You're fired.
- Why?
303
00:20:30,264 --> 00:20:32,756
That Columbus thing
is the worst thing I ever heard.
304
00:20:33,434 --> 00:20:35,494
I thought it was brilliant.
305
00:20:36,305 --> 00:20:38,467
That's why you're taking
the next elevator.
306
00:20:44,684 --> 00:20:46,710
- Hey, you a messenger for T.S.?
- Yes, sir.
307
00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:49,984
- From now on, use the freight elevator.
- Yes, sir.
308
00:20:56,501 --> 00:20:58,868
I just heard about
the Get- Out- Of- Here campaign.
309
00:20:58,971 --> 00:21:00,667
It's a trailblazer, Swope.
310
00:21:00,774 --> 00:21:04,176
Your master conception
is a masterpiece.
311
00:21:04,278 --> 00:21:06,839
Why, it's already a classic.
312
00:21:06,949 --> 00:21:10,182
As far as I'm concerned,
you're my man.
313
00:21:10,654 --> 00:21:15,059
I would like to discuss the possibility
of you handling my account. Would you?
314
00:21:15,828 --> 00:21:17,797
I'm with the Audie
Murphy Toy Company.
315
00:21:17,898 --> 00:21:20,026
We just came out with
a junior miss flamethrower...
316
00:21:20,134 --> 00:21:22,035
that runs on ordinary
lighter fluid...
317
00:21:22,137 --> 00:21:24,436
and next week, we're coming
out with a heavy-duty model...
318
00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:29,105
for the back-to-college group. It features
an after-burner and five-second reloading...
319
00:21:29,214 --> 00:21:31,615
with disposable propane cassettes.
320
00:21:31,718 --> 00:21:34,244
I want to have nothing to do
with war toys or cigarettes...
321
00:21:34,355 --> 00:21:36,551
and do something about your breath.
322
00:21:38,327 --> 00:21:40,660
Tell me what you like.
I'll go out and make it.
323
00:21:40,764 --> 00:21:43,632
I'll produce it, you push it.
You and me, Swope.
324
00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:45,966
If you stiffs want T.S.
to do your advertising...
325
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:48,734
it's gonna cost you
a million bucks up front. Cash.
326
00:21:48,842 --> 00:21:51,004
That's hallway robbery, Swope.
327
00:21:51,112 --> 00:21:53,809
- That's an outrage.
- The price is right.
328
00:21:54,117 --> 00:21:56,586
But I can't come up with
a million bucks in cash.
329
00:21:56,687 --> 00:21:58,120
Me, neither.
330
00:22:00,492 --> 00:22:02,051
Forget it, baby.
331
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:09,166
If your sales don't increase by 50%,
you'll get a complete refund.
332
00:22:09,271 --> 00:22:11,035
- I'm in, Swope.
- Me, too.
333
00:22:11,141 --> 00:22:13,406
- You and me, Swope.
- Don't forget me.
334
00:22:13,511 --> 00:22:17,175
- Pit Stop deodorant.
- Dinkleberry's chicken pot pies.
335
00:22:24,827 --> 00:22:26,989
Jim Keranga
of Watts, California...
336
00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:29,464
is eating a bowl of
Ethereal Cereal...
337
00:22:29,701 --> 00:22:31,897
the heavenly breakfast food.
338
00:22:32,137 --> 00:22:36,701
Jim, did you know that Ethereal Cereal
has twice as much vitamin B...
339
00:22:36,811 --> 00:22:38,905
as any other leading cereal?
340
00:22:39,514 --> 00:22:42,245
Ethereal also has
the added punch...
341
00:22:42,352 --> 00:22:46,222
of.002 ESP units of pectin.
342
00:22:47,192 --> 00:22:48,387
No shit!
343
00:23:01,679 --> 00:23:04,148
Dinkleberry's chicken pot pies.
344
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:05,909
Ground rules:
345
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:08,647
give us the name of your product,
what it's supposed to do...
346
00:23:08,756 --> 00:23:09,951
then take a walk.
347
00:23:10,058 --> 00:23:12,994
We don't need your ideas.
We don't need your advice.
348
00:23:13,095 --> 00:23:15,291
And we don't need
lames in the hallway.
349
00:23:23,577 --> 00:23:25,067
Lucky Airlines.
350
00:24:21,201 --> 00:24:24,001
Introducing
Miss Redneck, New Jersey...
351
00:24:24,307 --> 00:24:26,469
Eugenie Ferliger.
352
00:24:44,001 --> 00:24:45,993
Eugenie is 23.
353
00:24:46,237 --> 00:24:49,970
She's 5'4'',
and weighs 117 pounds.
354
00:24:50,977 --> 00:24:55,439
She has blue eyes and blonde hair
with matching cuffs and collar.
355
00:24:56,585 --> 00:25:01,183
Eugenie is a graduate of
the Sawbone/T-bone Diner in Redneck...
356
00:25:01,493 --> 00:25:03,586
where she majored in philosophy.
357
00:25:04,597 --> 00:25:09,298
She's a social worker
and her favorite hobby is emasculation.
358
00:25:27,697 --> 00:25:30,326
Eugenie, in 25 words or less...
359
00:25:30,567 --> 00:25:33,366
would you tell us what
your philosophy is?
360
00:25:35,508 --> 00:25:36,703
Well...
361
00:25:37,644 --> 00:25:40,808
I believe that everyone...
362
00:25:41,183 --> 00:25:44,711
no matter their race,
creed or color...
363
00:25:45,522 --> 00:25:47,889
should get a piece of the action.
364
00:25:48,326 --> 00:25:50,761
A piece of the what, Eugenie?
365
00:25:54,568 --> 00:25:57,436
- A piece of the pie.
- Right.
366
00:26:01,511 --> 00:26:05,745
Confidentially, folks,
I never thought she'd get that line.
367
00:26:06,452 --> 00:26:07,943
Oh, fuck off, Bert!
368
00:26:08,054 --> 00:26:10,819
Everybody wants
a Dinkleberry Frozen Chicken Pot Pie...
369
00:26:10,925 --> 00:26:12,621
and they'll do anything to get it.
370
00:26:13,829 --> 00:26:15,297
Who did that?
371
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:19,901
You do that?
372
00:26:24,911 --> 00:26:27,210
Yeah. Yeah.
373
00:26:29,251 --> 00:26:30,240
I didn't do it.
374
00:26:30,353 --> 00:26:32,754
Then what are you doing,
taking her temperature?
375
00:26:32,857 --> 00:26:36,692
Boss, don't fire me. I got a wife,
three kids and a shuttling pony.
376
00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:40,198
You should've thought of that before
you dipped your pen in company ink.
377
00:26:40,901 --> 00:26:43,564
Oh, man, give me a break.
I'm in love.
378
00:26:43,972 --> 00:26:47,034
All right, you get one more chance.
But she's got to go.
379
00:26:47,511 --> 00:26:49,707
What do you mean, I gotta go?
380
00:26:50,314 --> 00:26:54,412
That's right. Just 'cause you got a pair
of jugs don't mean you rule the world.
381
00:26:54,521 --> 00:26:55,954
That's right.
382
00:26:57,958 --> 00:27:00,519
- Mr. Swope.
- Clean out your locker.
383
00:27:01,030 --> 00:27:02,292
Up yours.
384
00:27:07,672 --> 00:27:10,643
Didn't mean to put down
your jugs, baby, but...
385
00:27:11,144 --> 00:27:12,635
gotta protect my interest.
386
00:27:25,164 --> 00:27:28,157
- Mark Focus is waiting in reception.
- Thank you.
387
00:27:35,545 --> 00:27:38,914
Great window cleaner.
Don't drip and it don't streak.
388
00:27:40,319 --> 00:27:43,916
But it smells bad.
Cleans good, but it smells bad.
389
00:27:48,531 --> 00:27:50,397
As a window cleaner, forget it.
390
00:27:51,001 --> 00:27:52,936
Put soybeans in it for protein...
391
00:27:53,037 --> 00:27:55,529
and we'll push it as a soft drink
in the ghetto.
392
00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,237
Lay a picture
of a Rhythm and Blues singer on it...
393
00:27:58,345 --> 00:28:00,211
and we'll call it Victrola Cola.
394
00:28:01,415 --> 00:28:04,181
- I think we got a winner.
- We better.
395
00:28:04,821 --> 00:28:08,691
Or you and that jism are gonna be back
in that drugstore where I found you.
396
00:28:15,268 --> 00:28:16,531
Yes, sir.
397
00:28:19,241 --> 00:28:20,208
Okay.
398
00:28:20,309 --> 00:28:22,745
If your lip was hip,
you wouldn't need no jip.
399
00:28:23,414 --> 00:28:26,043
- Sell rolls, that is.
- How you sound?
400
00:28:26,151 --> 00:28:28,712
I don't know, baby,
but wherever I'm sounding from...
401
00:28:28,821 --> 00:28:31,757
I'm stacked up
and I'm gonna stay stacked up.
402
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:35,996
But I wanna know about this Putney dude.
And the faggot at the Traffic Department.
403
00:28:36,098 --> 00:28:37,862
There's a blonde faggot
in the Traffic Department.
404
00:28:37,968 --> 00:28:40,164
Next time he bends over
to pick up the paperclips, General...
405
00:28:40,271 --> 00:28:42,069
I'm gonna sock it to him
right in his keister.
406
00:28:42,174 --> 00:28:43,198
Does he like dudes?
407
00:28:43,308 --> 00:28:45,834
I don't know, man,
but he's got a boss little round ass...
408
00:28:45,945 --> 00:28:48,472
in them tight bell-bottom pants.
I know that.
409
00:28:48,583 --> 00:28:50,984
Well, if you're tripping,
and you're going that way...
410
00:28:51,087 --> 00:28:54,216
No, my johnson get hard, Jim.
It knows no discrimination.
411
00:28:54,491 --> 00:28:56,016
Yeah, discrimination, huh?
412
00:28:56,127 --> 00:28:58,596
No, my johnson get hard,
everything goes.
413
00:28:58,698 --> 00:29:01,566
- Jism is okay, but you can can the trollops.
- Mr. Swope.
414
00:29:01,935 --> 00:29:03,301
Mark Focus.
415
00:29:07,911 --> 00:29:09,675
I did that for Hertz.
416
00:29:10,781 --> 00:29:13,410
That's Colgate. That's a Nabisco.
417
00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,413
- That's lBM.
- I've seen enough, Mark.
418
00:29:17,591 --> 00:29:20,186
You're one of the best photographers
in the business.
419
00:29:20,295 --> 00:29:21,320
Thank you.
420
00:29:21,430 --> 00:29:23,763
This printout I'm working on
is perfect for you.
421
00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:25,791
If it's me, it's $9,000.
422
00:29:25,903 --> 00:29:29,840
$9,000? I just want a picture of
a light bulb with lipstick on it.
423
00:29:30,008 --> 00:29:31,408
Make it $6,000.
424
00:29:31,711 --> 00:29:34,647
Hey, man, it's going in the newspaper,
not an art gallery.
425
00:29:34,749 --> 00:29:37,743
- $1,200 is the best I can do.
- Forget it.
426
00:29:37,854 --> 00:29:38,912
$350.
427
00:29:41,625 --> 00:29:44,288
I'll do it for nothing.
I need the work.
428
00:29:44,597 --> 00:29:47,465
I can get anybody for nothing.
Take a walk.
429
00:30:04,424 --> 00:30:05,516
Boss.
430
00:30:09,231 --> 00:30:11,700
Who do you think you are,
Lawrence of Nigeria?
431
00:30:11,802 --> 00:30:13,464
At least I ain't jive.
432
00:30:21,215 --> 00:30:22,444
Big man.
433
00:30:23,285 --> 00:30:25,015
Wanna have din-din?
434
00:30:26,289 --> 00:30:27,848
Why have dinner?
435
00:30:28,325 --> 00:30:30,658
I'm at 1 293 Lennox.
436
00:30:30,962 --> 00:30:32,863
Apartment 4C.
437
00:30:34,267 --> 00:30:37,396
I got to be straight with you, girl.
I'm engaged.
438
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,073
Keep it to yourself.
439
00:30:40,175 --> 00:30:41,404
Swope...
440
00:30:42,345 --> 00:30:44,405
I'm gonna bend your johnson.
441
00:30:45,349 --> 00:30:46,681
I'm ready.
442
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,549
I'm gonna make you young again.
443
00:31:17,795 --> 00:31:19,525
Where is Lopez?
444
00:31:19,632 --> 00:31:23,866
- Where you at, man?
- Stratosphere, baby, stratosphere.
445
00:31:24,205 --> 00:31:28,268
I'm stacked up over at La Guardia,
and I'm not coming down for nobody.
446
00:31:28,378 --> 00:31:29,811
Not even you.
447
00:31:31,382 --> 00:31:34,580
Mr. Swope.
Brother's in the black room.
448
00:31:34,687 --> 00:31:36,986
- Putney. Putney!
- Brother's in the black room.
449
00:31:37,124 --> 00:31:40,526
Sonny Williams, our copywriter,
just got busted at Radio City.
450
00:31:40,628 --> 00:31:43,359
He was sitting in the first row
and when the Rockettes came on...
451
00:31:43,465 --> 00:31:46,561
he opened and closed his raincoat
and exposed himself.
452
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:47,797
Bad PR.
453
00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:51,809
Tell Sonny next time he shows it,
I'll make him a creative director.
454
00:31:52,645 --> 00:31:54,739
Sonny,
if you don't straighten up...
455
00:31:54,848 --> 00:31:57,374
we're gonna send you to Hollywood
as a choreographer.
456
00:32:02,159 --> 00:32:06,325
Putney, we just sold 1 7 new accounts
and Cowboy says we have $156 million.
457
00:32:06,432 --> 00:32:09,630
Mr. Swope,
Brother's in the black room.
458
00:32:09,736 --> 00:32:11,967
Putney,
there's trouble in the black room.
459
00:32:12,507 --> 00:32:15,306
Mr. Swope,
brother's in the black room.
460
00:32:22,221 --> 00:32:23,779
Just you and me, Swope.
461
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,752
You and me.
462
00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:32,224
I deal with housing
in the community.
463
00:32:32,335 --> 00:32:35,100
Bad plumbing,
bad heating and bad rats.
464
00:32:35,206 --> 00:32:36,868
The only way to set
this thing straight...
465
00:32:36,975 --> 00:32:40,572
is with self-determination,
self-respect and self-defense.
466
00:32:44,519 --> 00:32:49,117
We don't go for Jesus no more.
Violence is a cleansing force.
467
00:32:49,226 --> 00:32:52,493
We must adjust ourselves
to the level of our audience...
468
00:32:52,598 --> 00:32:54,088
which is pretty low.
469
00:32:54,634 --> 00:32:58,002
Non-violence has proven
to be non-functional.
470
00:32:58,873 --> 00:33:00,603
So, it's guns, baby.
471
00:33:01,109 --> 00:33:06,015
The end result will be our own
political, social, economic future.
472
00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:11,486
My organization is pro-integration.
We're not hostile like these other groups.
473
00:33:12,526 --> 00:33:14,859
We can't do it illegally,
we'll do it legitimately.
474
00:33:14,962 --> 00:33:17,899
- You know, up front.
- Tanks, cocktails.
475
00:33:19,035 --> 00:33:20,367
Guns, baby.
476
00:33:20,538 --> 00:33:23,565
The pigs must cease the brutality,
destruction and murder...
477
00:33:23,675 --> 00:33:25,371
of our brothers and sisters.
478
00:33:25,545 --> 00:33:29,141
Or they'll suffer the consequences
from the armed people of the community.
479
00:33:29,249 --> 00:33:31,947
Bazookas. Tanks.
480
00:33:32,188 --> 00:33:33,655
Flamethrowers.
481
00:33:34,257 --> 00:33:38,126
My organization is pro-integration.
We're not hostile like these other groups.
482
00:33:38,229 --> 00:33:40,630
- Lay some bread on it.
- Guns, baby.
483
00:33:41,101 --> 00:33:43,798
A gun is not gonna get your job.
484
00:33:44,305 --> 00:33:46,706
It'll eliminate the competition.
485
00:33:48,911 --> 00:33:51,039
Who the hell wants a job?
486
00:33:51,782 --> 00:33:55,276
- You better get yourself a piece.
- Lay some bread on it.
487
00:33:55,788 --> 00:33:58,758
Lay some bread on it.
Lay some bread on it.
488
00:33:58,859 --> 00:34:01,454
My group doesn't
need your money, man.
489
00:34:03,565 --> 00:34:06,729
But what we can use
is your help on another level.
490
00:34:08,272 --> 00:34:09,672
I believe...
491
00:34:10,375 --> 00:34:13,539
that together with your power
and my structure...
492
00:34:14,348 --> 00:34:17,807
we could create a subliminal tremor
throughout the land...
493
00:34:17,919 --> 00:34:21,357
by using the advertising
that comes out of your toilet.
494
00:34:22,559 --> 00:34:24,050
A word here...
495
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,389
a phrase there...
496
00:34:32,908 --> 00:34:34,535
innuendoes...
497
00:34:40,051 --> 00:34:41,575
and subtleties.
498
00:34:42,588 --> 00:34:43,953
Lay some bread on it.
499
00:34:44,056 --> 00:34:47,289
And when the time is right, man,
we move in for the kill.
500
00:34:47,395 --> 00:34:50,194
- No mercy, stamp on the--
- What about the bread?
501
00:34:50,299 --> 00:34:53,394
Tap City.
When my ship comes in, I'll call you.
502
00:34:54,205 --> 00:34:55,672
You're a sham.
503
00:34:56,408 --> 00:34:58,707
I'm gonna pull
the covers off of you.
504
00:34:58,811 --> 00:35:01,679
You ain't pulling
the covers off of nobody.
505
00:35:15,068 --> 00:35:17,060
...mixed media...
506
00:35:34,762 --> 00:35:35,991
Hey, man.
507
00:35:36,365 --> 00:35:40,166
You're just the cat I wanted to see, man.
I was looking all around for you, Jim.
508
00:35:40,270 --> 00:35:41,704
Do you know what, man?
509
00:35:41,805 --> 00:35:46,403
Like, I'm tired, I'm fed up,
I can't take no more...
510
00:35:46,512 --> 00:35:48,913
I can't stand no more
of Putney Swope, man.
511
00:35:49,016 --> 00:35:51,008
Like, he's got to go, man.
512
00:35:51,119 --> 00:35:53,918
'Cause this cat is a jive cat,
you understand?
513
00:35:54,023 --> 00:35:57,654
You know what, man?
Like, I have been jugging his old lady.
514
00:35:57,828 --> 00:36:01,026
Do you dig this? And this cat
has never said nothing to me, man.
515
00:36:01,133 --> 00:36:04,571
I have called him out many a times in
front of all the people around here...
516
00:36:04,672 --> 00:36:06,265
who kiss this cat's ass, man.
517
00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:09,139
I don't kiss his ass.
'Cause I call it like it is, man.
518
00:36:09,245 --> 00:36:13,080
This man caught me with his woman, and
still, this cat can't get rid of me...
519
00:36:13,183 --> 00:36:15,049
'cause I got the power,
you understand?
520
00:36:15,153 --> 00:36:18,591
I got the power, I got the talent, and
I've got everything that this cat wants.
521
00:36:18,692 --> 00:36:21,856
He keeps me around here because
I make him look good, you understand?
522
00:36:21,962 --> 00:36:24,158
And I'm tired of making
this cat look good.
523
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:25,828
Are you ready to die?
524
00:36:25,935 --> 00:36:28,564
Man, I'm ready to die.
I'm ready to go anywhere...
525
00:36:28,672 --> 00:36:30,903
do anything, see anybody...
526
00:36:31,009 --> 00:36:33,808
walk, talk, smart, be anything...
527
00:36:33,913 --> 00:36:37,407
to do what I got to do, man. I'm died.
Died means nothing to me, man.
528
00:36:37,518 --> 00:36:40,010
You know, I always wanted
to get things straight around here...
529
00:36:40,122 --> 00:36:42,114
'cause Putney Swope
is a jive cat, man.
530
00:36:42,225 --> 00:36:45,320
He can't talk,
he can't walk, he can't sit.
531
00:36:45,429 --> 00:36:49,299
Man, this cat can't do nothing right.
He was voted in here on a hummer.
532
00:36:50,838 --> 00:36:53,603
Mr. Swope,
I'm tired of doing commercials.
533
00:36:53,875 --> 00:36:56,367
I wanna do something more creative.
534
00:36:56,679 --> 00:36:59,945
- Pick up your severance pay.
- Why?
535
00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:03,848
Did I ask you why when you said you
wanted to do something more creative?
536
00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:05,716
Nope.
537
00:37:11,032 --> 00:37:13,228
I feel like an Oreo cookie.
538
00:37:13,336 --> 00:37:15,532
You like a pile of shit.
539
00:37:29,159 --> 00:37:31,060
Are you putting me on?
540
00:37:33,598 --> 00:37:35,692
- Where you been, Put?
- Mecca.
541
00:37:36,669 --> 00:37:40,038
The man says he's the President
of the United States.
542
00:37:47,085 --> 00:37:48,143
Yeah?
543
00:37:48,853 --> 00:37:50,116
Putney Swope?
544
00:37:50,222 --> 00:37:51,280
Yeah.
545
00:37:51,390 --> 00:37:54,884
What do you mean, "yeah" ?
Be congenial.
546
00:37:55,262 --> 00:37:58,426
I want to extend to you
my deepest congratulation.
547
00:37:58,533 --> 00:38:01,766
It's very, very important
to have a boy like you...
548
00:38:02,072 --> 00:38:03,938
in such a prominent position.
549
00:38:04,042 --> 00:38:06,671
It's good for me.
It's good for you.
550
00:38:07,046 --> 00:38:09,242
And it might keep the summers cool.
551
00:38:09,349 --> 00:38:11,079
I like your style, Swope.
552
00:38:11,185 --> 00:38:13,711
So I'm gonna throw some business
your way.
553
00:38:13,822 --> 00:38:16,189
I never chase foul balls.
554
00:38:16,292 --> 00:38:18,261
You are lot of laughs.
555
00:38:18,362 --> 00:38:19,955
Next time I'm up in Big Town...
556
00:38:20,065 --> 00:38:22,034
we'll get together
and shoot up or something.
557
00:38:22,135 --> 00:38:23,534
What you want, man?
558
00:38:23,636 --> 00:38:27,267
Mr. Six, the man who owns the Borman Six
is a friend of mine.
559
00:38:27,375 --> 00:38:29,401
Take care of him. Quick.
560
00:38:31,982 --> 00:38:34,281
Looks good. He'll come around.
561
00:38:34,619 --> 00:38:37,111
Thank you. Excellent, Mimeo.
562
00:38:37,389 --> 00:38:39,551
I like the way
you handle yourself on the telephone.
563
00:38:39,659 --> 00:38:42,527
You're nobody's fool.
Except, perhaps, mine.
564
00:38:42,730 --> 00:38:46,190
But I'm glad I chose you for this job.
You've justified my faith in you.
565
00:38:47,436 --> 00:38:49,962
However, Mimeo,
there is one question.
566
00:38:50,375 --> 00:38:53,868
This business about
shooting up in the Big Town.
567
00:38:54,313 --> 00:38:56,805
After all,
a man in your position...
568
00:38:57,185 --> 00:38:59,780
which is a rather
strange position...
569
00:38:59,888 --> 00:39:02,187
you have justified my confidence
in having chosen...
570
00:39:02,292 --> 00:39:04,454
such a big man for this assignment.
571
00:39:05,129 --> 00:39:09,033
There are, however, one or two
points I would like to bring up.
572
00:39:09,802 --> 00:39:13,900
After all, I'm sure Barnum and Bailey
wouldn't mind having you back.
573
00:39:14,008 --> 00:39:17,308
So, please,
I suggest you be a little more careful.
574
00:39:17,746 --> 00:39:19,977
Mrs. Mimeo, you play divinely.
575
00:39:20,350 --> 00:39:23,412
Perhaps you would like to play
for me sometime.
576
00:39:24,656 --> 00:39:26,591
Nice wife you have there, Mimeo.
577
00:39:27,493 --> 00:39:31,864
It would be most unfortunate, would it
not, if anything should happen to her?
578
00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:40,578
Don't worry, Mr. Six,
the Borman Six gonna be okay.
579
00:39:41,146 --> 00:39:43,377
I hope you're right,
Mimeo, for your sake.
580
00:39:43,483 --> 00:39:45,384
But now,
we have a moment of joviality.
581
00:39:45,486 --> 00:39:49,652
We relax, you, Ruthie and l, we sit
down, we partake of a bit of grass...
582
00:39:49,759 --> 00:39:51,250
I've got some good shit.
583
00:39:51,362 --> 00:39:54,924
Tell me something, Mimeo, do you have
the new Maximilian Schell album?
584
00:39:55,033 --> 00:39:56,228
I love rock 'n ' roll.
585
00:39:56,335 --> 00:39:57,768
Perhaps The Electric Pygmy.
586
00:39:57,870 --> 00:39:59,964
Ruthie, you're looking lovely as ever,
my dear.
587
00:40:00,708 --> 00:40:04,577
From now on, if outsiders wanna talk
to me, they're gonna talk in my face.
588
00:40:06,216 --> 00:40:09,050
No more telephones.
Too much communication.
589
00:40:09,253 --> 00:40:12,190
If you take out the phones,
how are we going to conduct business?
590
00:40:12,292 --> 00:40:15,194
- With your head and your soul.
- That's right.
591
00:40:15,362 --> 00:40:16,955
That's unrealistic.
592
00:40:17,065 --> 00:40:20,092
If you want reality,
I'm gonna put you back on the streets.
593
00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:23,533
The dude's right.
We don't need phones.
594
00:40:23,775 --> 00:40:27,177
I can get a message to California
quicker than you can make a phone call.
595
00:40:27,279 --> 00:40:28,770
- How?
- The drum.
596
00:40:28,948 --> 00:40:30,746
- Say what?
- The drum.
597
00:40:30,851 --> 00:40:33,150
- What's that?
- Vibrations.
598
00:40:33,522 --> 00:40:35,753
Out, O'Dinga. You're finished.
599
00:40:45,605 --> 00:40:47,870
I heard you fired Mr. O'Dinga.
600
00:40:47,975 --> 00:40:50,308
- How did you find out?
- The drum.
601
00:40:50,913 --> 00:40:53,781
Hey, Lopez says
this place is crazy.
602
00:40:53,883 --> 00:40:55,545
Who's Lopez?
603
00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:58,687
- He's in my head.
- That's right.
604
00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:02,490
I've been running this tree hut
just like it was run before.
605
00:41:02,596 --> 00:41:04,394
Straight into the ground.
606
00:41:04,499 --> 00:41:07,594
I've made a few innovations,
but not enough.
607
00:41:08,638 --> 00:41:12,735
I have a feeling that there's
a lot of untapped talent around here.
608
00:41:13,045 --> 00:41:16,709
So, beginning right now,
I want each and every one of you...
609
00:41:17,050 --> 00:41:21,079
to conceive, write, produce and execute
your own campaign.
610
00:41:22,392 --> 00:41:24,861
If you don't think you can
come up with something new...
611
00:41:24,962 --> 00:41:26,954
then don't come up with nothing.
612
00:41:27,065 --> 00:41:29,364
And if you don't feel
that you're the creative type...
613
00:41:29,468 --> 00:41:32,802
then pitch in and help somebody else
with what they're doing.
614
00:41:44,055 --> 00:41:48,790
Creative juices are flowing in my vein,
man. You've liberated my muse.
615
00:41:49,296 --> 00:41:52,425
Picture a foxy chick
sitting on a park bench...
616
00:41:52,835 --> 00:41:54,598
the camera zooms
underneath her dress...
617
00:41:54,703 --> 00:41:57,070
and you cut to a train
coming out of a tunnel.
618
00:41:57,174 --> 00:41:59,473
It's a commercial for
the Long lsland Railroad.
619
00:41:59,577 --> 00:42:03,310
- Like, it's surreal man, surreal.
- Are you for surreal?
620
00:42:03,817 --> 00:42:05,752
I don't have any ideas...
621
00:42:05,853 --> 00:42:08,846
but it's good to know
that if I ever do...
622
00:42:08,957 --> 00:42:10,858
I will be able to try them out.
623
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,829
I just came up with three names
for teenage skin creams.
624
00:42:13,932 --> 00:42:17,198
No- Blem, Squeeze No, and Face Off.
625
00:42:17,303 --> 00:42:18,999
- Get rid of him.
- Mr. Swope...
626
00:42:19,105 --> 00:42:21,870
I think we should
do all our commercials in sepia.
627
00:42:22,276 --> 00:42:24,802
And instead of having
coffee breaks...
628
00:42:24,913 --> 00:42:28,510
- we should have watermelon breaks.
- Get rid of him, too.
629
00:42:28,619 --> 00:42:31,111
Hey, here's a poem I wrote
when I was in jail.
630
00:42:31,223 --> 00:42:35,423
"Life is about a relentless journey
to a path of oncoming screeching cars
631
00:42:35,529 --> 00:42:40,468
"with headlights of boredom
and a bumper of social responsibility."
632
00:42:59,463 --> 00:43:02,399
Mr. President, did you hear about
the woman who asked her husband...
633
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,526
to walk out to
the garbage can with her?
634
00:43:04,637 --> 00:43:06,697
"Are you out of your mind?"
replied her husband.
635
00:43:06,806 --> 00:43:08,138
"Not at all," replied the wife.
636
00:43:08,242 --> 00:43:11,542
"I'd like the neighbors to know
we go out together once in a while."
637
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:16,546
Mr. President, did you hear about
the fellow who was 9'8 "...
638
00:43:16,654 --> 00:43:18,589
and wore a size 22 shoe?
639
00:43:19,425 --> 00:43:22,293
And do you know what he did for
a living? He stamped out forest fires.
640
00:43:22,396 --> 00:43:23,624
Mimeo...
641
00:43:24,666 --> 00:43:26,328
what is that?
642
00:43:29,439 --> 00:43:31,772
The game warden
wanted me to throw it back.
643
00:43:31,876 --> 00:43:34,903
But I put up such a fight
that they mounted it.
644
00:43:38,986 --> 00:43:43,220
Mr. President, this fellow who went down
to Florida to do a demonstration...
645
00:43:43,326 --> 00:43:45,659
- a benefit show--
- This is a real funny man.
646
00:43:45,762 --> 00:43:47,697
- Funny man.
- In a benefit show. And they put up...
647
00:43:47,799 --> 00:43:49,825
a special platform,
with a trap door.
648
00:43:49,935 --> 00:43:53,997
Mimeo, who is this schmuck you have hired,
babbling in your ear, over and over:
649
00:43:54,107 --> 00:43:56,907
"Mr. President, Mr. President" ?
What banality!
650
00:43:57,012 --> 00:43:58,536
Mr. President.
651
00:43:58,647 --> 00:44:01,846
And this fellow's show was so terrible
that when the trap door opened...
652
00:44:01,952 --> 00:44:03,579
- if it wasn't for the fact...
- If you'd like a toke...
653
00:44:03,687 --> 00:44:04,677
...he had a rope around his neck...
654
00:44:04,789 --> 00:44:07,281
- ...he would have broken his legs.
- Come on, it'll put hair on your nose.
655
00:44:07,393 --> 00:44:08,918
And he couldn't kick.
656
00:44:12,767 --> 00:44:14,065
Yeah, he is funny!
657
00:44:14,169 --> 00:44:16,536
Actually, when I think about it,
I knew he was funny.
658
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,836
Mr. President? Mr. President?
659
00:44:20,412 --> 00:44:21,879
Mr. President?
660
00:44:25,285 --> 00:44:26,752
Mr. President?
661
00:44:28,757 --> 00:44:32,160
Hey, it's cold in here.
Throw another Jew on the fire!
662
00:44:34,432 --> 00:44:35,922
Mr. President?
663
00:44:37,302 --> 00:44:40,363
Mr. President.
There were three women in Florida--
664
00:44:44,079 --> 00:44:46,344
Mr. President,
there were three women in Florida--
665
00:44:46,449 --> 00:44:50,113
- He's like a stupid baby.
- Describing what once...
666
00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:53,525
Mr. President.
667
00:44:56,029 --> 00:44:57,496
Mr. President.
668
00:45:00,903 --> 00:45:01,892
Mr. President.
669
00:45:12,686 --> 00:45:16,624
It started last weekend
670
00:45:17,793 --> 00:45:22,459
At the Yale- Howard game
671
00:45:23,101 --> 00:45:26,800
Girl, I saw your beaver flash
672
00:45:26,906 --> 00:45:30,901
I'll never be the same
673
00:45:31,613 --> 00:45:34,276
Oh, no
674
00:45:38,156 --> 00:45:42,356
You gave me a soul kiss
675
00:45:43,096 --> 00:45:46,966
Boy, it sure was grand
676
00:45:48,103 --> 00:45:51,802
You gave me a dry hump
677
00:45:51,976 --> 00:45:56,244
Behind the hotdog stand
678
00:45:56,582 --> 00:45:59,313
Oh, yeah
679
00:46:02,724 --> 00:46:06,787
I used to have pimples
680
00:46:07,664 --> 00:46:11,033
But I made them disappear
681
00:46:12,839 --> 00:46:16,469
He faced life with Face Off
682
00:46:16,577 --> 00:46:21,016
It made his skin so clear
683
00:46:27,326 --> 00:46:30,694
A pimple is simple
684
00:46:32,166 --> 00:46:36,502
If you treat your pimples right
685
00:46:37,307 --> 00:46:40,972
My man uses Face Off
686
00:46:41,079 --> 00:46:45,016
He's really out of sight
687
00:46:45,352 --> 00:46:48,720
And so are his pimples
688
00:47:13,859 --> 00:47:16,624
I just created a skin
cream called Face Off.
689
00:47:16,730 --> 00:47:20,292
And I just come up with a whole new
concept for the Long lsland Railroad.
690
00:47:20,802 --> 00:47:23,567
- I love you, baby.
- I love you.
691
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,805
- I love you, baby.
- I love you.
692
00:47:27,278 --> 00:47:30,909
- I love you, baby.
- I love you. Did you take your pill?
693
00:47:32,286 --> 00:47:33,776
You'll never know.
694
00:47:39,462 --> 00:47:41,089
Is Mr. Swope in?
695
00:47:41,197 --> 00:47:42,187
Uh-huh.
696
00:47:42,300 --> 00:47:43,928
This is President Mimeo.
697
00:47:50,110 --> 00:47:51,874
- Yeah?
- Putney?
698
00:47:53,249 --> 00:47:55,046
- Yeah.
- Guess who.
699
00:47:57,387 --> 00:47:59,788
- Marcus Garvey.
- Nope.
700
00:48:00,492 --> 00:48:03,223
- Try again.
- President Mimeo.
701
00:48:03,530 --> 00:48:06,796
- How did you guess?
- I used to be an exterminator.
702
00:48:06,901 --> 00:48:09,736
You might be saying,
"I used to have an agency"...
703
00:48:09,839 --> 00:48:12,434
if you don't get moving
on the Borman Six.
704
00:48:12,543 --> 00:48:15,138
Why are you so hung up
on the Borman Six?
705
00:48:15,246 --> 00:48:16,714
I'm a stockholder.
706
00:48:16,949 --> 00:48:19,544
- Let me sleep on it.
- Good night, pal.
707
00:48:45,356 --> 00:48:46,414
Out.
708
00:48:49,094 --> 00:48:50,756
Swope. Mark Focus.
709
00:48:52,333 --> 00:48:53,960
What do you want?
710
00:48:55,604 --> 00:48:58,733
Did that for Hertz,
that's Colgate...
711
00:48:59,343 --> 00:49:01,312
- Nabisco--
- I seen enough, Mark.
712
00:49:01,413 --> 00:49:03,678
You're one of the best photographers
in the business.
713
00:49:03,783 --> 00:49:05,809
- Thank you.
- Take a walk.
714
00:49:14,064 --> 00:49:15,225
Mr. President?
715
00:49:16,133 --> 00:49:17,601
Mark Focus.
716
00:49:22,576 --> 00:49:24,271
I did this for Kennedy.
717
00:49:28,217 --> 00:49:30,083
I did this for Johnson.
718
00:49:33,825 --> 00:49:35,418
I did this for Nixon.
719
00:49:38,799 --> 00:49:40,528
And this was the Agnell Funeral.
720
00:49:41,136 --> 00:49:43,332
Have you a picture of Raquel Welch?
721
00:49:48,113 --> 00:49:50,275
Would you like to join us?
722
00:49:53,153 --> 00:49:54,882
Did you vote for me?
723
00:49:57,191 --> 00:49:58,750
Well, it's okay.
724
00:50:30,740 --> 00:50:33,301
Beach Club Sundae.
725
00:50:33,410 --> 00:50:36,141
Come up with an idea
for the Borman Six.
726
00:50:36,848 --> 00:50:40,650
I know nothing about automobiles.
727
00:50:41,521 --> 00:50:44,151
Give me an idea for the Borman Six.
728
00:50:44,726 --> 00:50:48,288
All right,
if I ever think of anything...
729
00:50:48,398 --> 00:50:50,128
I'll let you know.
730
00:50:55,876 --> 00:50:57,503
Did you think of something?
731
00:50:58,646 --> 00:51:02,174
- The Borman Six, nitwit.
- Listen, Swope...
732
00:51:02,284 --> 00:51:04,947
if you want me to come up with ideas,
get me a license.
733
00:51:05,055 --> 00:51:07,685
Take me down to city hall
and do what's right.
734
00:51:08,093 --> 00:51:10,255
- Forget it.
- You forget it.
735
00:51:28,188 --> 00:51:30,350
Mr. Swope, congratulations.
736
00:51:48,384 --> 00:51:50,580
What about the Borman Six?
737
00:51:51,888 --> 00:51:54,016
Oh, all right.
738
00:51:55,427 --> 00:51:59,388
- What are they going to feature next year?
- Defects, pollution, velvet safety belts...
739
00:51:59,500 --> 00:52:01,935
- strobe headlights, fiberglass windshields--
- Okay.
740
00:52:10,682 --> 00:52:13,049
You got to get
a young girl with soul.
741
00:52:21,597 --> 00:52:24,294
You better get moving
on that freight elevator.
742
00:52:29,810 --> 00:52:32,405
Sonny Williams got picked up
in the Bronx Holiday Inn...
743
00:52:32,513 --> 00:52:34,414
with a 13-year-old girl.
744
00:52:36,085 --> 00:52:38,054
At least he's not superstitious.
745
00:52:38,588 --> 00:52:42,754
Your lawyer, who's his lawyer,
wants to be the prosecuting attorney.
746
00:52:43,295 --> 00:52:46,425
Get Sonny Williams in here. Now.
747
00:52:57,916 --> 00:53:01,045
Would you like to come over to my house
and have some dainties?
748
00:53:01,154 --> 00:53:04,147
- I don't exercise.
- Don't put me down.
749
00:53:04,726 --> 00:53:06,922
I can't sleep because of you.
750
00:53:07,630 --> 00:53:10,031
That's why I've got these valises
under my eyes.
751
00:53:11,001 --> 00:53:14,700
- I'm in love with you, Myron X.
- My name is Rufus.
752
00:53:14,940 --> 00:53:17,842
I don't care what your name is.
You're my man.
753
00:53:19,981 --> 00:53:22,143
- I'm not your man.
- Yes, you are.
754
00:53:22,251 --> 00:53:24,584
I'm not your man,
and I never will be.
755
00:53:25,188 --> 00:53:27,248
I don't care what you say to me.
756
00:53:27,925 --> 00:53:29,951
You're my biggest fantasy.
757
00:53:30,295 --> 00:53:32,526
I dream about you every night.
758
00:53:33,901 --> 00:53:37,269
That's okay.
Just don't send me the laundry bill.
759
00:53:54,664 --> 00:53:57,998
Putney says the Borman Six girl...
760
00:53:58,101 --> 00:54:00,366
is got to have soul.
761
00:54:03,109 --> 00:54:06,876
Putney says the Borman Six girl...
762
00:54:07,181 --> 00:54:09,309
is got to have soul.
763
00:54:22,804 --> 00:54:26,366
Putney says the Borman Six girl...
764
00:54:26,475 --> 00:54:29,241
is got to have soul!
765
00:54:32,351 --> 00:54:34,411
Got to have soul!
766
00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:42,024
Putney says
the Borman Six girl is...
767
00:54:49,108 --> 00:54:51,270
- Best shit on me.
- Yeah.
768
00:54:51,645 --> 00:54:54,274
Excuse me, Mr. Swope,
could I speak to you a minute?
769
00:54:54,382 --> 00:54:55,441
Sure.
770
00:55:05,264 --> 00:55:06,630
Mr. Swope...
771
00:55:07,134 --> 00:55:10,434
I do exactly the same job
as the other executives.
772
00:55:10,538 --> 00:55:13,064
But I don't make
as much money as they do.
773
00:55:13,543 --> 00:55:15,204
I don't think that's right.
774
00:55:16,547 --> 00:55:19,813
If I give you a raise,
everybody's gonna want a raise.
775
00:55:19,918 --> 00:55:23,947
And if I give them a raise, they'll
still be making more money than you.
776
00:55:24,058 --> 00:55:26,823
And we'll be right
back where we started.
777
00:55:33,137 --> 00:55:35,402
I'd never thought of it that way.
778
00:55:35,641 --> 00:55:38,167
And that's why you get less money.
779
00:55:38,612 --> 00:55:40,513
'Cause you don't think.
780
00:55:44,487 --> 00:55:45,818
Thank you.
781
00:55:59,037 --> 00:56:00,767
I believe this. This girl...
782
00:56:00,873 --> 00:56:03,274
she's got to have soul.
Don't you believe this?
783
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:05,977
She's got to have soul.
784
00:56:07,081 --> 00:56:09,984
Putney says she's got
to have soul. Right?
785
00:56:10,887 --> 00:56:12,685
See, she's got to have soul.
786
00:56:14,559 --> 00:56:16,858
Putney says she's got to have soul.
787
00:56:21,736 --> 00:56:24,763
Don't you believe she's got
to have soul, this girl, huh?
788
00:56:25,641 --> 00:56:27,371
Let's go. Let's go.
789
00:56:52,380 --> 00:56:54,781
You can't eat an air conditioner.
790
00:57:22,923 --> 00:57:25,484
Beautiful,
give everyone a $10 raise.
791
00:57:25,627 --> 00:57:27,459
What about the messengers?
792
00:57:37,077 --> 00:57:40,479
They charge an arm and a leg in there,
but it's worth it.
793
00:57:53,890 --> 00:57:56,533
- What's that for?
- Worth It Life Insurance.
794
00:59:59,322 --> 01:00:01,256
Will the passenger holding...
795
01:00:01,359 --> 01:00:04,761
lucky winning ticket 5- 8- 6...
796
01:00:04,863 --> 01:00:07,958
repeat, 5- 8- 6...
797
01:00:08,267 --> 01:00:13,139
please report to the special lucky
prize room, at the rear of the aircraft?
798
01:00:13,609 --> 01:00:15,635
Go Lucky Airlines.
799
01:01:42,970 --> 01:01:45,769
- Who did that?
- You did. It was your idea.
800
01:01:45,874 --> 01:01:48,002
Not bad, not bad.
801
01:01:48,511 --> 01:01:50,537
We'll have 1 2 more by sundown.
802
01:01:50,847 --> 01:01:53,248
I want these on
the air by tomorrow night.
803
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:57,713
Putney, in my humble opinion...
804
01:01:57,824 --> 01:02:00,055
these commercials are tasteless.
805
01:02:00,194 --> 01:02:02,595
Putney,
Myron X said you were tasteless.
806
01:02:02,697 --> 01:02:05,532
You said we were gonna do things
with integrity and style.
807
01:02:05,636 --> 01:02:08,902
What we're doing is worse than anything
our predecessors ever done.
808
01:02:09,007 --> 01:02:11,909
Them commercials are literal,
and they're disgusting.
809
01:02:12,546 --> 01:02:14,514
And by advocating such filth...
810
01:02:14,614 --> 01:02:17,414
Putney is confusing
obscenity with originality.
811
01:02:17,519 --> 01:02:19,818
Let me un-confuse you, baby.
812
01:02:19,923 --> 01:02:22,154
Everybody that was
in these commercials, you fired!
813
01:02:22,259 --> 01:02:24,490
Ain't one of them around!
And I know you a jive cat...
814
01:02:24,596 --> 01:02:27,225
'cause you done made your last mistake
you ever gonna make, mister.
815
01:02:27,333 --> 01:02:29,495
I seen that nonsense
you trying to show us here.
816
01:02:29,603 --> 01:02:31,799
You trying to dupe
everybody in this joint.
817
01:02:31,906 --> 01:02:35,206
Now, what is this? We done taken
the last bit of your nonsense, man.
818
01:02:35,311 --> 01:02:38,646
I'm not gonna take all this crap.
Everybody knows you're a jive nigger.
819
01:02:38,749 --> 01:02:40,444
You done pulled all this jive shit.
820
01:02:40,552 --> 01:02:42,520
Your mother had a creative idea
when she borne you...
821
01:02:42,621 --> 01:02:44,112
and you had to go and blow that!
822
01:02:44,223 --> 01:02:46,158
Then you gonna come
and try to show us all this crap.
823
01:02:46,260 --> 01:02:47,990
A nigger sitting up
there eating cornflakes.
824
01:02:48,096 --> 01:02:50,224
Man, you ain't had nothing original
since you got here.
825
01:02:50,333 --> 01:02:53,303
You stole the idea about Borman Six.
You got it from your wife!
826
01:02:53,403 --> 01:02:56,237
Now you gonna tell me that's a lie?
One night, she told me herself.
827
01:02:56,341 --> 01:02:59,608
And that little nephew who gave you
that idea for that other thing...
828
01:02:59,713 --> 01:03:00,805
and you got rid of him.
829
01:03:00,914 --> 01:03:02,678
Ain't nobody around
who help you in anything.
830
01:03:02,783 --> 01:03:05,446
Everybody either been shut up,
cut up, or been put out.
831
01:03:05,554 --> 01:03:07,716
Can't you see this trash
this man is trying to sell us?
832
01:03:07,824 --> 01:03:10,794
Look at you in the highwater pants.
You jive nigger, look at you...
833
01:03:10,894 --> 01:03:12,556
two-button suit?
Now what kind of suit is that?
834
01:03:12,664 --> 01:03:15,190
You're supposed to be a soul brother.
Look at this brother's hair.
835
01:03:15,301 --> 01:03:17,896
Everybody's dressed up like
pride and dignity. You ain't got none.
836
01:03:18,006 --> 01:03:19,974
Now what kind of godfather...
837
01:03:22,277 --> 01:03:24,405
This company
runs because I'm here.
838
01:03:24,514 --> 01:03:26,506
And I'm going to hate you
if you don't get right.
839
01:03:26,617 --> 01:03:29,246
And you ain't right, and I hate you.
I hate you, you understand?
840
01:03:29,354 --> 01:03:32,519
I hate you because you a jive cat.
You ain't got nothing inside!
841
01:03:32,626 --> 01:03:33,752
You got to go.
842
01:03:33,861 --> 01:03:36,387
You got to go or I got to go,
and I'm not going.
843
01:03:36,732 --> 01:03:38,893
How do you like that?
He ain't got a thing inside him...
844
01:03:39,002 --> 01:03:40,492
he ain't nothing but a shell.
845
01:03:40,604 --> 01:03:43,403
Hey, man, you better let me go!
I'm gonna get him!
846
01:03:43,508 --> 01:03:45,136
Shit! Hands off me!
847
01:04:06,316 --> 01:04:07,511
- Cut.
- Cut.
848
01:04:26,612 --> 01:04:28,240
What do you think?
849
01:04:31,686 --> 01:04:33,245
Keep the money, Swope.
850
01:04:33,355 --> 01:04:36,848
But don't put it on the air,
or I'll be out of business.
851
01:04:37,662 --> 01:04:40,723
- What's wrong with it?
- Too much tail-pipe.
852
01:04:41,099 --> 01:04:44,126
Listen, you.
You lucky I'm pushing this death trap.
853
01:04:44,237 --> 01:04:46,935
I don't play.
Goes on the air tomorrow night.
854
01:05:00,460 --> 01:05:03,397
- What the hell are you doing?
- Making a delivery.
855
01:05:03,498 --> 01:05:07,060
You better make it down the stairs,
and come back up the freight elevator.
856
01:05:07,170 --> 01:05:10,072
- It's 36 flights.
- I don't care what it is.
857
01:05:10,174 --> 01:05:12,838
Why do I have to take the freight
elevator? I'm not a package.
858
01:05:12,945 --> 01:05:14,776
Because it's custom.
859
01:05:16,183 --> 01:05:17,344
It's policy.
860
01:05:44,685 --> 01:05:46,278
Love you, Walter.
861
01:05:46,387 --> 01:05:48,720
I love you more than anything else
in the world.
862
01:05:49,525 --> 01:05:52,393
- I'll see you later.
- I love you, Walter.
863
01:05:54,232 --> 01:05:55,393
I love you too, Mother.
864
01:05:55,501 --> 01:05:58,596
You know you're not supposed to serve
food without something on your head.
865
01:05:58,705 --> 01:06:00,469
I don't want your hair in my food.
866
01:06:00,808 --> 01:06:02,868
I told you a hundred times.
867
01:06:03,178 --> 01:06:05,477
- All right.
- Get in the kitchen.
868
01:06:13,392 --> 01:06:15,919
Honey,
I'm sorry about this sandwich.
869
01:06:16,030 --> 01:06:19,023
That tile man's got the kitchen
so stacked high with tiles...
870
01:06:19,134 --> 01:06:20,762
cook can't cook anything.
871
01:06:21,638 --> 01:06:22,832
I'd send the damn tiles back...
872
01:06:22,940 --> 01:06:25,239
but you know we're having
a dinner party on Friday.
873
01:06:28,948 --> 01:06:33,853
You see, it's terribly difficult to run
such a big house, but then...
874
01:06:34,489 --> 01:06:38,985
I really do think it's important
this house is run well.
875
01:06:39,564 --> 01:06:43,695
And I'm not like, washing windows here.
I'm sort of...
876
01:06:45,405 --> 01:06:48,934
...secretary in
a very old-fashioned way.
877
01:06:54,384 --> 01:06:56,853
Mr. Swope, do you think
that your approach to advertising...
878
01:06:56,955 --> 01:06:59,151
will encourage young people
to go into advertising?
879
01:06:59,258 --> 01:07:01,420
- I hope not.
- Well, do you conceive your creations...
880
01:07:01,528 --> 01:07:03,156
under the influence of drugs?
881
01:07:03,264 --> 01:07:05,460
Hey, Swope,
what do you think of the Panthers?
882
01:07:05,567 --> 01:07:09,004
They look good against the Bulldogs,
but they need more depth at quarterback.
883
01:07:09,105 --> 01:07:13,043
Last night between 8:00 and 10:00, only
14% of the usual amount of people...
884
01:07:13,144 --> 01:07:15,579
left the house
to buy newspapers and ice cream.
885
01:07:15,681 --> 01:07:18,651
In essence, your commercials were
so good that nobody left the house...
886
01:07:18,752 --> 01:07:21,917
to buy anything or burn anything.
Would you comment on that?
887
01:07:22,024 --> 01:07:24,789
I think anything I would say
would just be redundant.
888
01:07:24,894 --> 01:07:27,329
Mr. Swope, where have you been
all these years?
889
01:07:27,431 --> 01:07:28,694
Laying in the cut.
890
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:31,395
Mr. Putney, did you sleep with your wife
before you married her?
891
01:07:31,504 --> 01:07:32,664
Not a wink.
892
01:07:32,772 --> 01:07:35,401
What is your position
on the checkerboard of life?
893
01:07:35,510 --> 01:07:38,173
ls it true, do you refuse to advertise
war toys, cigarettes...
894
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:40,215
- and alcoholic beverages?
- You said it.
895
01:07:40,317 --> 01:07:42,148
Where did you get the name
"Truth and Soul" ?
896
01:07:42,252 --> 01:07:44,084
- In the streets.
- Excuse me, Mr. Swopes.
897
01:07:44,188 --> 01:07:46,851
Gourmet magazine says
your commercials are tasteless...
898
01:07:46,959 --> 01:07:49,485
and that you should be censored.
Now my question is...
899
01:07:49,597 --> 01:07:51,258
in what direction are you heading?
900
01:07:51,365 --> 01:07:53,994
I'm going uptown.
Can I give anybody a lift?
901
01:07:54,704 --> 01:07:56,935
Get off of my short, baby!
902
01:08:05,752 --> 01:08:08,382
You little bitch.
What are you doing out here?
903
01:08:08,490 --> 01:08:11,654
Get your ass in that house immediately.
Go on, move.
904
01:08:12,295 --> 01:08:15,094
What do you think I have you for,
anyway? Come on.
905
01:08:15,667 --> 01:08:17,761
Get in here,
you motherfucker, get in!
906
01:08:21,942 --> 01:08:24,970
I believe Mr. Swope asked you
to use the freight elevator.
907
01:08:25,081 --> 01:08:28,017
- Since when is that your business?
- Since right now.
908
01:08:28,218 --> 01:08:32,179
And if I catch you using that elevator
again, I'm going to tell Mr. Swope.
909
01:08:54,622 --> 01:08:56,784
- Is that Mr. Swope?
- That's him, baby.
910
01:09:00,965 --> 01:09:03,127
- Mr. Swope?
- Putney. Putney.
911
01:09:04,336 --> 01:09:05,702
Sonny Williams again.
912
01:09:05,805 --> 01:09:08,331
He was a guest on Dating Game,
and when he didn't win...
913
01:09:08,442 --> 01:09:10,502
he stood up
and exposed himself again.
914
01:09:10,779 --> 01:09:12,975
CBS went off
the air for seven hours.
915
01:09:13,884 --> 01:09:15,977
Bail him out and get him in here.
916
01:09:16,921 --> 01:09:21,792
Mr. Swope, I'm Sister Basilica,
and this here is Billy Reilly.
917
01:09:21,895 --> 01:09:24,694
Billy's an orphan,
and he wants to be your pal.
918
01:09:25,266 --> 01:09:28,101
Now, if you want to be Billy's pal,
all you have to do is...
919
01:09:28,204 --> 01:09:32,403
fill out the necessary papers, and take
him out of the settlement once a week.
920
01:09:32,677 --> 01:09:35,670
You know, you can take him out to lunch,
or take him for a ride--
921
01:09:35,781 --> 01:09:39,218
- You're taking me for a ride.
- Oh, be a pal.
922
01:09:40,755 --> 01:09:45,194
- Shouldn't you be at school?
- Fuck you. And fuck the establishment.
923
01:09:45,295 --> 01:09:47,560
And fuck you people
who are trying to make me...
924
01:09:47,665 --> 01:09:49,930
part of the unestablished
establishment.
925
01:09:50,035 --> 01:09:53,096
All right. I'll pick you up tomorrow
at 11:00. I'll take you to the zoo...
926
01:09:53,206 --> 01:09:54,868
then we'll go to the ball game.
927
01:09:55,275 --> 01:09:57,744
Why don't you just adopt me
and get it over with?
928
01:09:57,879 --> 01:09:59,347
Don't push me, pal.
929
01:09:59,448 --> 01:10:02,282
Whatever you decide,
don't do it out of guilt.
930
01:10:05,858 --> 01:10:07,382
Bless you.
931
01:10:09,429 --> 01:10:12,126
If this stiff comes through,
we have it made. Come on.
932
01:10:15,271 --> 01:10:19,038
Brother, you were voted in here
on a jive hummer.
933
01:10:19,276 --> 01:10:23,578
Now how, when,
are things gonna happen, man?
934
01:10:23,682 --> 01:10:27,677
Your whole cart has been pimped.
When are thing gonna start to change?
935
01:10:27,788 --> 01:10:30,155
Where's the revolution
you were talking about?
936
01:10:30,259 --> 01:10:33,424
There ain't nothing happening,
there is no revolution...
937
01:10:33,530 --> 01:10:36,022
the way you're running
this joint, man.
938
01:10:36,301 --> 01:10:38,236
Now, when is something
gonna happen?
939
01:10:38,337 --> 01:10:40,932
When are you going to do it?
When and how? What day?
940
01:10:41,041 --> 01:10:45,844
Give me a time, man.
Show me how progress is gonna be made.
941
01:10:45,948 --> 01:10:48,281
There ain't no progress
the way this is running now.
942
01:10:48,385 --> 01:10:50,047
Putney, this is Sonny Williams.
943
01:10:52,391 --> 01:10:54,883
What do you got to say
for yourself, Sonny?
944
01:11:04,608 --> 01:11:06,975
Don't feel bad. It's okay.
945
01:11:20,397 --> 01:11:23,492
Now, there's a man
who is doing something.
946
01:11:23,601 --> 01:11:26,867
That is a revolution, man,
don't you understand?
947
01:11:26,973 --> 01:11:30,536
When are you gonna start?
When are you gonna do something?
948
01:11:39,858 --> 01:11:43,226
Putney, the President of the United
States wants to see you in three hours.
949
01:11:43,329 --> 01:11:46,357
He says that he'll meet you halfway
so it's all set for Philadelphia.
950
01:11:46,468 --> 01:11:48,460
Mr. Swope? Mark Focus.
951
01:11:51,375 --> 01:11:54,470
I did this for Hertz,
that's Colgate...
952
01:11:54,579 --> 01:11:57,344
that's Nabisco, that's lBM.
953
01:11:58,018 --> 01:12:01,250
Did this for Mr. Swope.
That's Rockefeller.
954
01:12:02,089 --> 01:12:04,183
- That's Rockefeller.
- What are you gonna do for me?
955
01:12:04,292 --> 01:12:05,920
What are you, nuts?
956
01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:12,561
- We made it, Put.
- It's phenomenal.
957
01:12:12,671 --> 01:12:15,266
We've thrown a tremendous hump
into the cooling industry.
958
01:12:15,375 --> 01:12:19,245
- Who told you to open your mouth?
- No one. It just happened.
959
01:12:19,581 --> 01:12:23,542
All right. I created Face Off.
I conceived the Borman Six...
960
01:12:23,654 --> 01:12:25,554
and don't forget the mousetrap.
961
01:12:25,656 --> 01:12:28,752
The rest of you people took old ideas,
and broken down concepts...
962
01:12:28,861 --> 01:12:31,330
and embellished them
with a sense of show business.
963
01:12:31,432 --> 01:12:32,798
Now, that's not enough.
964
01:12:32,901 --> 01:12:36,235
When I see things that ain't fresh,
I get butterflies in my ulcer.
965
01:12:36,338 --> 01:12:39,935
So from now on, you got to come up
with completely original fantasies.
966
01:12:40,044 --> 01:12:43,606
Stop looking at the tube.
Stop reading magazines and newspapers...
967
01:12:43,715 --> 01:12:46,651
- and don't talk to strangers. And don't--
- Mr. Swope?
968
01:12:47,955 --> 01:12:49,753
Get on the freight elevator.
969
01:14:00,425 --> 01:14:03,918
- Get rid of him.
- What do want me to do with him?
970
01:14:05,232 --> 01:14:07,258
Get him a gig with the President.
971
01:14:32,338 --> 01:14:35,331
First day on the job
and you get to meet President Mimeo.
972
01:14:35,442 --> 01:14:37,070
I'll take him off.
973
01:15:54,421 --> 01:15:56,913
How do you like
my demonstrators, Swope?
974
01:15:57,025 --> 01:16:00,484
I put them in front of your building,
'cause you won't advertise cigarettes...
975
01:16:00,596 --> 01:16:02,929
war toys, and alcoholic beverages.
976
01:16:03,033 --> 01:16:04,934
And that's discrimination.
977
01:16:05,236 --> 01:16:08,173
I also hear you flipped
over the Borman Six.
978
01:16:08,575 --> 01:16:12,535
Bum trip, Swope. If you keep
discriminating against those products...
979
01:16:12,780 --> 01:16:16,513
I'm gonna keep up the demonstration.
It's a small world, Swope.
980
01:16:16,886 --> 01:16:18,377
Don't cross me.
981
01:16:21,292 --> 01:16:23,921
- Let's move out.
- Say "please."
982
01:16:24,029 --> 01:16:25,588
I said move out!
983
01:16:31,140 --> 01:16:35,078
Back to welfare, Trigger.
Okay, move out.
984
01:16:36,648 --> 01:16:38,674
Rent yourself a short, schmuck!
985
01:17:01,416 --> 01:17:02,611
Hing!
986
01:17:02,718 --> 01:17:04,687
My word, "Hing" !
987
01:17:05,022 --> 01:17:07,583
Maybe Hingleberry or Hingsaurio.
988
01:17:07,759 --> 01:17:11,287
Hing spells nothing,
begins nothing possible unto Webster.
989
01:17:11,398 --> 01:17:13,993
It is my very, very own Hing!
990
01:17:14,168 --> 01:17:18,367
Hing in the teeth of the wind,
and in the faces of governments and men.
991
01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:19,565
Hing!
992
01:17:19,742 --> 01:17:22,439
Hing uninvited, Hing unexcited...
993
01:17:22,546 --> 01:17:25,015
Hing retiring into
his own Hinghood!
994
01:17:25,485 --> 01:17:28,751
I built a wooden Hing once,
and fooled no one.
995
01:17:28,856 --> 01:17:31,985
I painted Hing in oils
and ran out of canvas.
996
01:17:32,093 --> 01:17:35,155
But I shall follow
wherever Hing lead...
997
01:17:35,265 --> 01:17:38,429
till Hing vanish into darkness.
998
01:17:42,709 --> 01:17:44,541
My word, "Hing" !
999
01:17:44,712 --> 01:17:47,273
- Get everybody into the conference room.
- Got it.
1000
01:17:50,286 --> 01:17:51,686
Put that out.
1001
01:17:51,788 --> 01:17:54,519
Lunger cigarettes,
Swope, what do you say?
1002
01:17:54,626 --> 01:17:59,531
Daly War Toys. We just came out with a
new game called "Cops and Demonstrators."
1003
01:18:00,066 --> 01:18:02,831
Bull Connor Bourbon.
You name the price, Swope.
1004
01:18:02,938 --> 01:18:04,963
Lunger cigarettes,
Swope, what do you say?
1005
01:18:05,073 --> 01:18:07,372
Ethereal Cereal. You saved me.
1006
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:23,726
- Fill this up.
- Right.
1007
01:18:58,550 --> 01:19:00,451
I want everybody to drop
whatever they're doing...
1008
01:19:00,553 --> 01:19:03,421
and start thinking up ideas
for Bull Connor Bourbon...
1009
01:19:03,523 --> 01:19:07,723
Lunger cigarettes, and a new game
called Cops and Demonstrators.
1010
01:19:07,930 --> 01:19:11,129
I thought you said we wasn't going to
advertise that kind of stuff.
1011
01:19:11,235 --> 01:19:15,606
- I changed my mind.
- I thought only women changed their mind.
1012
01:19:15,708 --> 01:19:18,542
- The man's copping out.
- What did you say?
1013
01:19:18,646 --> 01:19:21,582
- I said you're a cop-out.
- Get out of here!
1014
01:19:21,983 --> 01:19:25,352
- And don't come back either.
- Shit.
1015
01:19:29,995 --> 01:19:33,762
You're a punk.
If you wasn't my brother, I'd kill you.
1016
01:19:35,403 --> 01:19:38,567
I want these campaigns
ready by 5:00 sharp.
1017
01:19:38,674 --> 01:19:41,668
- Are you sure you want to do this?
- I already done it.
1018
01:19:42,746 --> 01:19:46,650
What do you really want to do?
Advertise garbage or do what's right?
1019
01:19:47,753 --> 01:19:48,846
Both.
1020
01:19:57,500 --> 01:19:58,934
The man's a genius.
1021
01:19:59,036 --> 01:20:01,699
Good people.
I tested them but they did not cop.
1022
01:20:01,807 --> 01:20:04,937
- You mean that whole scene was a put-on?
- That's right.
1023
01:20:12,923 --> 01:20:15,290
There's $8 million and change here.
1024
01:20:15,626 --> 01:20:17,925
Figure what's left
and divide it up equally.
1025
01:20:18,030 --> 01:20:20,363
Forget the messengers
and forget the Arab.
1026
01:20:20,467 --> 01:20:22,561
Beautiful, baby, beautiful!
1027
01:20:23,605 --> 01:20:26,939
Putney, if you want to push
cigarettes and booze...
1028
01:20:27,043 --> 01:20:29,069
- it's all right with me.
- That's right.
1029
01:20:29,179 --> 01:20:33,880
Putney, I don't care what you advertise,
as long as I get my raise.
1030
01:20:34,386 --> 01:20:38,950
Brother, if you want to advertise crap,
that's your prerogative.
1031
01:20:39,694 --> 01:20:42,187
- You're my man.
- That's right.
1032
01:20:43,199 --> 01:20:44,667
I'm with you, Put.
1033
01:20:44,769 --> 01:20:46,931
Whatever the hell you wanna do,
I'm with you.
1034
01:20:47,038 --> 01:20:50,065
You're a genius, Putney.
Do your thing.
1035
01:21:24,057 --> 01:21:27,586
Putney, I hear you're splitting up
the money equally.
1036
01:21:27,696 --> 01:21:30,666
- That's good.
- How did you find out?
1037
01:21:30,767 --> 01:21:33,066
- The drum.
- The drum should have told you...
1038
01:21:33,170 --> 01:21:36,733
- you ain't getting a penny.
- If I don't get my piece by sundown...
1039
01:21:36,843 --> 01:21:38,471
your ass is mine.
1040
01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:57,530
Hey! Do you have my bread, brother?
1041
01:21:57,839 --> 01:22:00,536
The man says you
gets nothing, Arab.
1042
01:22:00,643 --> 01:22:03,442
What? Man, you better get
your story straight.
1043
01:22:03,547 --> 01:22:07,815
What you talking about? The drum
says equal shares for everybody.
1044
01:22:07,920 --> 01:22:09,616
And everybody means me.
1045
01:22:09,723 --> 01:22:12,955
Don't you understand, mister?
So come out your dream world...
1046
01:22:13,060 --> 01:22:16,554
and get your story straight, man.
Before I get hot here...
1047
01:22:16,666 --> 01:22:19,033
and I have to tell my cousin
Sirhan Saran Wrap.
1048
01:22:19,136 --> 01:22:21,298
The man says you gets nothing.
1049
01:22:23,342 --> 01:22:24,969
You gets nothing.
1050
01:22:29,885 --> 01:22:32,046
The man say I get nothing.
1051
01:22:32,555 --> 01:22:35,218
Then I gets nothing.
1052
01:22:37,930 --> 01:22:40,365
- You got a light?
- Right.
84043
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