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1
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2
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- OK, I'm gonna have that one.
- OK, I'm gonna have that one,
3
00:00:06,722 --> 00:00:08,640
and also that one that
you picked right now.
4
00:00:08,643 --> 00:00:11,230
- What?! [GIGGLES]
- Hmm.
5
00:00:11,231 --> 00:00:13,900
Oh, man. I cannot wait
for Lamar to get here.
6
00:00:13,903 --> 00:00:15,320
Oh, my God, me too.
7
00:00:15,322 --> 00:00:18,620
Turns out it's actually not
that nice, getting dumped,
8
00:00:18,621 --> 00:00:21,062
but at least my brother is coming,
because he has to love me.
9
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:24,590
Yeah. I do think of all of your
family, he is my favorite.
10
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,150
BOTH: [LAUGH]
11
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,800
BOTH: [SQUEAL]
12
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He's here!
13
00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:30,769
- I'm here!
- [LAUGHTER]
14
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:33,100
- LAMAR: Hey!
- Yay!
15
00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:34,868
ALL: [CHEERING]
16
00:00:35,738 --> 00:00:39,990
- Annie, this is for you.
- Oh, my gosh.
17
00:00:39,997 --> 00:00:43,042
- Fancy. Ooh!
- LAMAR: Wrapped it myself.
18
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,628
You're gonna like it.
19
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:48,131
ANNIE: Oh, my God!
20
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:50,091
- This is perfect!
- LAMAR: Jackpot.
21
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ALL: [LAUGHING]
22
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,761
Some chocolate turtles and a rock?
23
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:57,740
Yeah. Do you not remember junior
year when Lamar visited us,
24
00:00:57,741 --> 00:01:00,518
and you passed out, we got locked out...
25
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,830
Yeah, and then me and Annie
ended up going for this walk
26
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,564
and we wound up sittin'
on this bridge...
27
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,339
And were throwing rocks
down into the water,
28
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and I can confirm to you...
29
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LAMAR: This is where she starts lying.
30
00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:14,600
... 100% certainty,
Lamar killed a turtle.
31
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,020
No. No, I didn't. Not
100%. It was a can.
32
00:01:17,029 --> 00:01:20,530
I hear rock hit shell, shell shatter,
33
00:01:20,536 --> 00:01:23,159
and a turtle scream, "No!"
34
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,499
- LAMAR: It was a can.
- ANNIE: OK, I'm sorry.
35
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:25,540
You know that you did it.
36
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OK, yeah, yeah. Very fun
turtle murder memory.
37
00:01:28,176 --> 00:01:31,842
- What'd you get for me?
- Here we go. This is for you, sis.
38
00:01:33,979 --> 00:01:35,649
[OBJECTS RATTLE]
39
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- Codeine.
- Yeah.
40
00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:40,609
Thank you. I mean, this is
actually quite a good gift.
41
00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,879
When you used to visit us in college,
42
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,280
you would make playlists as presents.
43
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I mean, I was 15. Come on, that's
what 15-year-olds do, right?
44
00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:47,732
ANNIE: Yeah, mashups,
45
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:51,219
but wasn't one called "Jams To Smash To:
46
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A Musical Experience by Lamar"?
47
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:55,640
The funny thing is, I
hadn't smashed yet at all,
48
00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:56,899
- so it was very aspirational.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
49
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,480
- And you still haven't smashed.
- I have smashed. I've smashed a lot.
50
00:01:59,488 --> 00:02:02,030
- Still not smashed.
- I'm smashing all over the place.
51
00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:04,240
- Smash hits.
- Why do I have to get a notification
52
00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:08,170
every time that this monster
comments on my article?
53
00:02:08,173 --> 00:02:10,670
- What's he saying now?
- He wrote,
54
00:02:10,678 --> 00:02:14,635
"Eat shit, which I know you will,
because you'll eat anything."
55
00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:18,760
And then he just wrote, "Pig
fuck tit bitch cum hog."
56
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:19,779
LAMAR: [UNDER HIS BREATH] What the...
57
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:23,477
Nobody gets to call you "pig
fuck tit bitch cum hog" but me.
58
00:02:24,581 --> 00:02:26,709
That's so nice.
59
00:02:26,710 --> 00:02:29,274
Candy overflowing
60
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,980
- _
-
My love sugarcoated
61
00:02:34,851 --> 00:02:38,690
I can't resist this high taste
62
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,529
I can't resist this
sweet race no more
63
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:47,800
_
64
00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,712
Kim? Where's Kim? I
want her to hear this.
65
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:54,339
Kim! Where the fuck are you at, ho?!
66
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,079
Ruthie, I'm right here.
67
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,390
And we've talked about
the "ho" thing. I don't...
68
00:02:58,398 --> 00:03:01,649
- Um, she's right here.
- OK, great. A little announcement.
69
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:04,579
I'm throwing a reception
this Friday evening.
70
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:06,700
We're turning the hallway into a gallery
71
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:10,630
to celebrate an exciting new
artist on the Portland art scene.
72
00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:14,111
I discovered him. Uh, the
artist is my husband, Tony.
73
00:03:15,015 --> 00:03:16,389
[APPLAUSE]
74
00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:18,619
Thank you. They say looking at his work
75
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,020
makes you feel like you fucked God.
76
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,610
And I mean that literally.
77
00:03:21,612 --> 00:03:23,530
I'm kidding, Andy. I
know you're religious.
78
00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:25,570
- Well, I'm spiritual.
- Great. Whatever.
79
00:03:25,578 --> 00:03:28,450
There's gonna be an open bar, I
want you all to bring partners,
80
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,659
dates, whatever.
81
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,080
OK, so please dress like
you've been to New York
82
00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:33,410
at some point in your life.
83
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,540
OK, that'll be all.
I'll see you all there.
84
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,094
[LAUGHTER]
85
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:43,181
AMADI: And please, people, try to
arrive by horse-drawn carriage
86
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,360
and make sure that
your butler is washed,
87
00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:47,351
because this is not Fresno.
88
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,949
You're really channeling
Gabe in this moment.
89
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,300
It's like he's sitting here.
90
00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:52,940
- [CHUCKLES]
- Thank you.
91
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,360
Are you actually gonna bring...
someone to this party?
92
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:59,429
Oh, yeah. I'm bringin' Cindy. This
is like revenge for that time
93
00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:01,079
she made me see her
brother's one-man show
94
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,100
about being middle class.
95
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:05,740
I guess if you're bringing
Cindy, I might bring Ryan.
96
00:04:05,741 --> 00:04:07,360
Wait. The hardware store guy?
97
00:04:07,369 --> 00:04:09,490
- Mm-hmm. Mm...
- AMADI: Is it getting serious?
98
00:04:09,498 --> 00:04:10,803
Uh, everybody get down!
99
00:04:10,804 --> 00:04:13,170
Uh, there's someone
getting actively dicked!
100
00:04:14,383 --> 00:04:16,760
- She's getting dick.
- God, OK.
101
00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:19,180
Yes, I am getting dick.
102
00:04:19,184 --> 00:04:23,350
I'm getting mouth, I'm getting
hand, I'm getting heart.
103
00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:27,266
I'm getting all of him, and we're
a little bit of a thing, OK?
104
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,450
- OK, what is the dick like?
- It's pretty straightforward,
105
00:04:30,457 --> 00:04:32,313
like a classic American dick.
106
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:35,590
- What does American mean to you?
- Like Ford tough.
107
00:04:35,593 --> 00:04:37,360
Aw, Annie got some game.
108
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,639
Mm-mm-mm.
109
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,000
I'm bringing my neighbor Wayne.
110
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:43,140
He's 18 years old, and
he's horny as fuck.
111
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:46,869
Ryan's horny as fuck too,
so maybe they can hang.
112
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,705
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
113
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:10,000
[PHONE RINGING]
114
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,812
- Hey.
- Hey there.
115
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,772
- What's up?
- Shabbat Shalom!
116
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,049
[LAUGHING] Oh, fuck! No!
117
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,760
- Oh, shit. Sorry.
- Come on.
118
00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:22,640
RYAN: Sorry. What's up? How ya doin'?
119
00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:27,920
Hey. Um, I was just
calling because my boss
120
00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:30,740
is having this dumb
work thing on Friday,
121
00:05:30,744 --> 00:05:33,410
and I was kinda thinking
you could come with me.
122
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,670
- There's gonna be an open bar.- Oh, awesome.
123
00:05:36,673 --> 00:05:38,340
That sounds cool.
124
00:05:38,342 --> 00:05:40,715
I mean, is there gonna be a
bartender? Do we have to tip him?
125
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:44,930
I mean, if we do, I can. [LAUGHS]
126
00:05:44,939 --> 00:05:48,514
I guess this kind of makes it
like, our second official date?
127
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,309
Yeah. That's a big deal.
128
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,639
Mm-hmm.
129
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,499
Right on. Well, I'm gonna
put it on my calendar
130
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,509
right when we hang up.
131
00:05:55,510 --> 00:05:58,733
OK. Good. I'm... I'm excited.
132
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,889
Oh, hey! Were you gonna
show me your tits earlier?
133
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,720
Y-Yes, I was.
134
00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:07,900
But I feel that maybe now the
moment has passed, so...
135
00:06:07,902 --> 00:06:10,570
Right. Of course. Cool.
136
00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:13,910
Um... I will see them on Friday.
137
00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:16,710
- [CHUCKLES] Bye!
- RYAN: Bye.
138
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:22,839
[BILL PLAYING BLUES]
139
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,859
- ANNIE: Hi!
- BILL: Hey!
140
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:27,094
It's my Annie and Frannie!
141
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,189
Oh, wow, and the famous Lamar.
142
00:06:29,190 --> 00:06:30,840
[KISSES]
143
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,680
- Hey, man. Thanks for having me.
- Yeah.
144
00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:34,644
Fran says how good you've been to her.
145
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:37,209
- She's like our second daughter.
- Well, don't feel like
146
00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:38,941
you have to stop playing. It's so nice!
147
00:06:38,942 --> 00:06:42,160
- LAMAR: Go on, play away! Please.
- OK.
148
00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:45,220
Hey, why don't you get out your
oboe? We'll jam a little bit, huh?
149
00:06:45,226 --> 00:06:48,310
- No, no, no, no. No.
- What's this about an oboe?
150
00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:51,530
- ANNIE: This is a "no oboe" zone.
- BILL: Come on!
151
00:06:51,531 --> 00:06:54,030
- No-boe.
- No-boe zone.
152
00:06:54,036 --> 00:06:55,490
So you must be Lamar.
153
00:06:55,496 --> 00:06:57,330
I'm Vera. Welcome.
154
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,960
- Oh!
- LAMAR: Thank you for having me.
155
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,170
Oh, so nice to meet you.
156
00:07:00,173 --> 00:07:01,880
- The party can start.
- It can.
157
00:07:01,885 --> 00:07:04,300
I'm a little worried about
cooking for a chef.
158
00:07:04,306 --> 00:07:06,350
Don't be worried. Don't
be worried about it.
159
00:07:06,351 --> 00:07:08,539
Just some Beef Wellington'll be fine.
160
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,940
- Something simple, ya know.
- Oh. Is that hard?
161
00:07:10,944 --> 00:07:13,225
- Yeah, it's pretty hard.
- [LAUGHTER]
162
00:07:15,119 --> 00:07:17,186
VERA: And last but not least,
163
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:21,691
- Bill's special plate.
- ANNIE: Oh, my God.
164
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:22,759
What is that?
165
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,840
Well, I've been helping him out
with his diet since the surgery.
166
00:07:25,849 --> 00:07:27,720
ANNIE: And you're serving
him the very thing
167
00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:29,730
that they removed from his body?
168
00:07:29,732 --> 00:07:30,980
BILL: [LAUGHS]
169
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,730
- Yeah, I thought it looked familiar.
- Yes!
170
00:07:32,738 --> 00:07:34,280
VERA: OK, yeah, here we go.
171
00:07:34,282 --> 00:07:38,160
But I'm just trying to do everything
I can to keep you healthy.
172
00:07:38,165 --> 00:07:41,752
So what's the latest with you, Fran?
Are you still seeing someone?
173
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,130
- I actually just got dumped.
- BILL: What?!
174
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,508
You'll find someone else
soon. The gals love you.
175
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:51,190
You know, I wish Annie would
play the field like you do.
176
00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:53,069
OK. I...
177
00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,475
I actually... I do play the field.
178
00:07:56,536 --> 00:07:59,749
You've never brought
anyone up to me. [LAUGHS]
179
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:02,129
OK. Well, actually I'm seeing someone.
180
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,300
- BILL: What? Who?
- VERA: Who?
181
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:06,930
I hope it's not a Richie
Turner situation.
182
00:08:06,931 --> 00:08:09,140
- [LAUGHING]
- Who's Richie Turner?
183
00:08:09,144 --> 00:08:12,859
We definitely don't need to go down
the Richie Turner road right now.
184
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,359
He was this boy in high school
185
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,909
that Annie had such a huge crush on
186
00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:18,599
it was painful! They would... Oh, God.
187
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,289
Night after night, they were
on the phone all the time...
188
00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,640
But the thing is, he
would just talk to her
189
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,470
all about the girls he had crushes on,
190
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,290
which made you very upset, Annie.
191
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,720
No, no, he liked Annie. He liked Annie.
192
00:08:29,727 --> 00:08:30,810
- Well...
- Yeah.
193
00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:32,270
Well, he still lives
in the neighborhood.
194
00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:33,888
Why don't we go settle
this once and for all?
195
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,230
Yeah.
196
00:08:35,238 --> 00:08:36,849
Well, this isn't that, so...
197
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,393
VERY: I guess I just don't want
you to get into some kind of...
198
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,479
unrequited thing.
199
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,690
ANNIE: OK, well, this is...
this is not unrequited.
200
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,800
OK? His name is Ryan, he's very tall,
201
00:08:47,805 --> 00:08:52,140
he's... going with me to
a work thing this week.
202
00:08:52,146 --> 00:08:55,860
- It's very requited.
- VERA: OK.
203
00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:59,700
Well... uh, let's drink
to Annie's boyfriend!
204
00:08:59,704 --> 00:09:02,830
- And Annie's first article.
- LAMAR: Yes, to that, to that.
205
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,710
- And to Richie Turner!
- Yes.
206
00:09:04,714 --> 00:09:07,840
Who is never not in the
Safeway parking lot.
207
00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,760
- ALL: [LAUGH]
- It's true.
208
00:09:09,765 --> 00:09:12,176
- He's always in that parking lot!
- He lives there.
209
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:15,263
Good for him! [GIGGLES]
210
00:09:24,837 --> 00:09:27,859
- [CHATTER]
- [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
211
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,760
_
212
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,050
So thank you so much. Please,
explore, explore, explore!
213
00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:55,430
You have fun, but remember:
it is responsible feminist art,
214
00:09:55,439 --> 00:09:57,179
OK? So not too much fun, OK?
215
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,899
- Annie. Tony.
- Oh, hi!
216
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,740
- TONY: So great to meet you.
- Wow.
217
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:04,789
Annie's been generating a lot of
hits with that article she wrote
218
00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:06,499
about hitting up the strip club.
219
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,739
Oh, my goodness, I love that piece!
220
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,690
Thank you. Thank you so much!
221
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,339
Um, you know, actually, Gabe,
speaking of my article,
222
00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:14,140
I was wondering, is there a way
223
00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:15,930
to turn off the comment notifications?
224
00:10:15,939 --> 00:10:18,230
Because I get one every
time someone posts,
225
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:20,570
and there's this one guy in
particular who will not stop,
226
00:10:20,574 --> 00:10:23,030
- and it's getting kinda rough.
- You have a troll.
227
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:25,080
That's great!
228
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,159
Oh. Oh, thank you.
229
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,419
I mean, actually, it
feels very, very bad.
230
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:32,760
And I know we don't moderate comments,
231
00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:34,920
but I was wondering if maybe
there was a way to just...
232
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,999
Oh, no, no, no. Discourse is clicks.
233
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,419
Right, if you moderate an audience,
234
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,430
they just shut down,
and then we shut down.
235
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,767
It just, it feels weird to do nothing.
236
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:44,894
Oh.
237
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:48,290
I'm so sorry, are we done here?
Because I hear my name.
238
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,549
I think someone... I have
to go explain the art.
239
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:54,060
- Very keen, the ear.
- Cool.
240
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,867
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
241
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,880
_
242
00:11:10,381 --> 00:11:12,100
Thank you.
243
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,980
- Annie! What's up?
- [GASPS] There she is!
244
00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:21,020
AMADI: Yeah. Where's your guy?
245
00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:23,820
He's not here. And I don't know why,
246
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:26,879
- and it really sucks.
- RUTHIE: Are you guys talking
247
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,680
about Annie's fake boyfriend?
248
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,357
- No. Yeah.
- RUTHIE: This is Wayne.
249
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,219
- This is my real boyfriend.
- AMADI: Hey.
250
00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,850
Annie, you don't have
to be embarrassed, OK?
251
00:11:36,851 --> 00:11:39,430
- I've made up fake boyfriends before.
- CINDY: Me too.
252
00:11:39,439 --> 00:11:41,479
When Amadi and I first started dating,
253
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,759
he thought I was in a
very serious relationship
254
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,780
with this guy from my work.
255
00:11:44,783 --> 00:11:47,329
- But nope, I totally made him up.
- AMADI: Oh, my God.
256
00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:49,959
Colin Greenstein is fake? The
guy who invented yoga pants?
257
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,170
Oh, my God! [LAUGHS] Are you kidding me?
258
00:11:53,175 --> 00:11:54,630
- CINDY: You know that it wasn't real!
- AMADI: I didn't know that.
259
00:11:54,637 --> 00:11:57,342
OK, well, Ryan's not fake. So...
260
00:11:59,479 --> 00:12:02,097
Um, I'm gonna just get some air.
261
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,478
[SIGHS]
262
00:12:11,754 --> 00:12:15,510
Hey, we were looking
for you. Are you OK?
263
00:12:15,512 --> 00:12:17,340
Is this about that guy?
264
00:12:17,348 --> 00:12:20,520
Yeah. Yeah, I just...
265
00:12:21,272 --> 00:12:23,702
I don't know, he... he
didn't even call me.
266
00:12:24,863 --> 00:12:26,240
And...
267
00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,620
I don't know, I just...
268
00:12:28,621 --> 00:12:33,080
I wanted him to be a part
of, like, my actual life,
269
00:12:33,088 --> 00:12:36,720
- and he couldn't do it.
- OK.
270
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:39,699
I think you need to see other people.
271
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,310
So if I know of a guy, can I set you up?
272
00:12:42,314 --> 00:12:45,222
I mean... yes. [CHUCKLES]
273
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,850
But, like, you have
someone in mind, or... ?
274
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,290
I have guys in mind all the time,
275
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,719
but I can't do anything about it,
276
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,669
so someone else might as well do it.
277
00:12:53,670 --> 00:12:55,160
- Really?
- Yes!
278
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:59,640
I got married super-young, so
I never got to fuck around,
279
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:01,220
you know what I mean? So now,
280
00:13:01,227 --> 00:13:03,659
there's a guy at the deli
where I get my bagel
281
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:07,230
with the egg salad, and, like, his arm,
282
00:13:07,239 --> 00:13:09,910
when he's scooping the egg
salad, do you know what I mean,
283
00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:12,080
- it's like, this part right here...
- ANNIE: Yeah.
284
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:16,210
My point is that I got
so hot from it last week
285
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:19,290
that I had to go to my car
and masturbate afterwards!
286
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,177
Oh, my God. Wow.
287
00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:25,262
Here's my point... you
need to fuck some dudes.
288
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,730
- Oof. Really?
- Yes.
289
00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:30,990
And you know what? Fuck
this loser. He's done.
290
00:13:30,995 --> 00:13:33,021
I'm done, you're done, he's done.
291
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:38,460
Yeah, you're right. Like, I'm
never gonna text him or call him
292
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:40,680
or go to his house ever again.
293
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:43,360
[MUSIC PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]
294
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:46,059
Ryan?
295
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:47,579
PETE: I use Alpha Brain,
296
00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:50,449
but anything with L-Tyrosine in it,
297
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,990
that shit'll get you focused like bzzzt!
298
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,669
- Pete.
- Annie?
299
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:58,045
Hey! You made it! Fuck, yeah!
300
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,130
Yeah. What exactly did I make?
301
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,799
Pencil fight.
302
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,470
- ALL: [YELLING]
- All right, settle down!
303
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,560
Come on, settle down!
304
00:14:04,563 --> 00:14:08,480
Settle down! Everybody! If you
want to place your bets, OK,
305
00:14:08,486 --> 00:14:10,808
you bet through my man Boris right here.
306
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:14,870
- RYAN: You can bet on me to win...
- MEN: Yeah!
307
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:18,107
- RYAN: Kayla to win...
- WOMEN: Yeah!
308
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,340
KAYLA: Who wants to see me
309
00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:21,880
kick Ryan's ass?
310
00:14:21,889 --> 00:14:25,190
- ALL: [SHOUTING]
- Not gonna happen.
311
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,820
WOMAN: Kick that ass, girl!
312
00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:31,440
What is this shit?
313
00:14:31,449 --> 00:14:33,780
PETE: Oh, I mean, it's a
pencil-fighting tournament.
314
00:14:33,788 --> 00:14:35,819
- Play until a pencil breaks.
- RYAN: I'm not taking it easy on her.
315
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:36,833
PETE: Lots of strategy.
316
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,079
Oh, and it's egalitarian
317
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,920
because women can compete
fully against men.
318
00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:42,089
Cool.
319
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,980
All right, here we go.
320
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:47,550
Aaaaah! Yeah!
321
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:51,279
- I am victorious!
- ALL: [SHOUTING]
322
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:52,650
Whoo!
323
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,789
I own you! I own you!
324
00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:58,564
- Yeah! Ha ha ha ha!
- Oh, man.
325
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,920
Whoo! [LAUGHING]
326
00:15:01,927 --> 00:15:04,270
Yeah, man! Yes!
327
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:07,860
Oh. Shit.
328
00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:08,992
Annie.
329
00:15:11,195 --> 00:15:12,328
Hey.
330
00:15:13,659 --> 00:15:15,950
ALL: [CHEERING]
331
00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:19,120
- Pretty cool, right?
- Yeah.
332
00:15:19,128 --> 00:15:21,549
Yeah. Have you not seen my texts?
333
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,964
Because my work thing
was tonight, remember?
334
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:27,560
What? Shit. But wait, I...
335
00:15:27,562 --> 00:15:29,640
Yeah, yeah, and you stood me up,
336
00:15:29,649 --> 00:15:32,070
and everyone had their
person there except for me,
337
00:15:32,071 --> 00:15:33,891
and it was really fuckin' embarrassing.
338
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:37,849
Ryan, I have to run. I told
Marnie I'd cover for her.
339
00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,879
Oh, no, that's cool. Hey,
thanks for comin' by.
340
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:40,900
I appreciate it.
341
00:15:40,910 --> 00:15:42,500
Sorry I had to like, kick
your ass or whatever.
342
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,970
- BOTH: [LAUGH]
- KAYLA: And I'm sorry you loved it.
343
00:15:44,971 --> 00:15:47,930
- RYAN: Yeah.
- KAYLA: All right, good to see you. OK.
344
00:15:47,936 --> 00:15:50,140
- [KISSES]
- OK.
345
00:15:50,148 --> 00:15:52,110
KAYLA: Bye!
346
00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:54,913
Look, Annie...
347
00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:00,960
- Are you fucking her?
- We have.
348
00:16:02,507 --> 00:16:05,930
- But not today.
- Yeah.
349
00:16:06,682 --> 00:16:08,230
OK.
350
00:16:09,688 --> 00:16:12,270
What the fuck am I doing here?
351
00:16:12,276 --> 00:16:15,239
I feel insane. What is going on?
352
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,130
I mean... she's in the rotation?
353
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:23,880
- I don't know what else to say.
- "In the rotation"?
354
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:27,402
- Who else is in the rotation?
- Nobody. Just you and Kayla.
355
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,760
God, I feel sick right now.
356
00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:33,076
Annie, we never said this was exclusive.
357
00:16:34,613 --> 00:16:36,949
Do you get how much it sucks
358
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:40,080
that that's something that I
would even have to say to you?
359
00:16:40,081 --> 00:16:42,410
God! I hate this.
360
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:45,337
I fuckin' hate this so much.
361
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,915
And pencil-fighting is the dumbest thing
362
00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:50,010
I've ever seen in my goddamn life.
363
00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:52,302
Do not talk to me ever again.
364
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,820
ALL: [CHEERING]
365
00:17:01,082 --> 00:17:03,230
FRAN: Come and join the
pasta party, bitch!
366
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:06,049
- Lamar made spaghetti.
- Spaghetti, bitch!
367
00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:09,600
- Um, I'm just gonna go to bed.
- FRAN: You OK?
368
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:13,480
[CHOKING UP] Um, I really can't
talk about it right now.
369
00:17:13,481 --> 00:17:15,159
FRAN: OK. We'll save some for you.
370
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,289
LAMAR: Yeah, so these are all from
371
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:25,299
this insane market which has got
372
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:26,878
all the best ingredients in the world.
373
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,673
- Look. Look at that.
- FRAN: Ooh. Those fucking grapes.
374
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,675
But we're more into dead
fish now. See, look.
375
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:34,270
Look at that. Look at those...
Look at those fish. Look at those.
376
00:17:34,273 --> 00:17:36,520
- Oh, yeah.
- That's some snapper.
377
00:17:36,528 --> 00:17:39,182
- Always good with a little bit of...
- [PHONE CHIMES]
378
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,170
- _
- ... some sage, just to sort of rub in,
379
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:42,369
bit of butter, bit of garlic.
380
00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,439
FRAN: I'll never do that,
381
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,039
- but thank you.
- LAMAR: You gotta do that. Come on.
382
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,080
Oh, shit. Ryan just texted me.
383
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:52,940
He said that he put the party in
his calendar on the wrong day.
384
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,900
- Perfect.
- ANNIE: Cool.
385
00:17:55,816 --> 00:17:58,703
Said he wants me to come
over and talk to him.
386
00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:03,291
I do think I'm gonna go.
387
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,627
Really? Now?
388
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:10,130
I just feel like I need to
have an actual conversation.
389
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:13,469
Sorry and as of yesterday,
he was fucking other women.
390
00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:15,140
Yup. This dude's a cunt.
391
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:19,610
Yeah, actually, "cunt" in America
is like, a much harsher term.
392
00:18:19,614 --> 00:18:21,530
- Ya know?
- [STUTTERING] Oh! Oh, too harsh?
393
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,603
Uh, how about... "fuckboy"?
394
00:18:24,582 --> 00:18:25,750
Yeah, "fuckboy" works.
395
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,290
- FRAN: Both.
- LAMAR: Yeah, both.
396
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:31,439
Um, I guess I just feel like I
need to have, like, some closure?
397
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,859
Fine. Be your own person. Whatever.
398
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:35,980
ANNIE: OK.
399
00:18:42,577 --> 00:18:45,030
Oh... Oh. It's OK, you can go.
400
00:18:45,039 --> 00:18:47,460
- Or no. I'm sorry. I...
- [HORNS HONKING]
401
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,544
- [HORN HONKING]
- ANNIE: No, you can go.
402
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,797
- Yeah. OK.
- [HORN HONKING]
403
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,050
Sorry. [LAUGHS]
404
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,020
Is this...
405
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,900
[SYNTHESIZER MUSIC PLAYS]
406
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,830
Uh... I'm sorry. Sorry.
407
00:19:25,036 --> 00:19:27,700
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
408
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:32,180
I want it all but I can't have it
409
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:39,469
You're my trick of the eye
410
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,097
That passes me by
411
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:46,870
Keeps on going
412
00:19:46,872 --> 00:19:50,500
I can't keep you there
413
00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:53,590
Or everywhere
414
00:19:53,594 --> 00:19:58,630
I cannot say much
415
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,860
You're my trick of the eye
416
00:20:02,862 --> 00:20:03,940
[PHONE CHIMES]
417
00:20:03,947 --> 00:20:05,649
That passes me by
418
00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:08,050
Keeps on going
419
00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:10,100
_
420
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:19,060
She's back.
421
00:20:19,061 --> 00:20:21,178
- Oh, hi!
- Hi.
422
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:22,805
Flowers from Ryan?
423
00:20:23,612 --> 00:20:25,780
No, no, no. [LAUGHS]
424
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:29,490
- Um, yeah, I didn't go. I don't know.
- Oh.
425
00:20:29,498 --> 00:20:33,231
I, um, I just got these,
and then I walked around.
426
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,679
So... um, where's Fran?
427
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:42,480
Um, she found someone at a Chase
Bank ATM to rebound with.
428
00:20:42,482 --> 00:20:46,400
Wow. Man, there is truly no
place that is too disgusting
429
00:20:46,407 --> 00:20:48,110
for your sister to hit on someone.
430
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:52,120
- No truer word hath been said.
- [LAUGHS]
431
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:54,329
Um, what time do you leave tomorrow?
432
00:20:54,330 --> 00:20:56,619
Uh, flight is at 8:00.
433
00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,548
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
434
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:01,520
Don't go. Just stay.
435
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,220
I wish. I wish.
436
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:06,610
But I'm not leaving without
a parting gift for you.
437
00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:08,750
- Yeah?
- Look what I found.
438
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:13,669
"Jams To Smash To: A Musical
Experience by Lamar."
439
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,380
ANNIE: The mash-up.
440
00:21:15,381 --> 00:21:17,630
- Oh, my God.
- Classic.
441
00:21:17,636 --> 00:21:20,111
- You have to play it. Yeah.
- We gotta play it. All right.
442
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,350
Here we go.
443
00:21:21,351 --> 00:21:22,930
[MUSIC PLAYING]
444
00:21:22,938 --> 00:21:24,780
Cut the music up
445
00:21:25,944 --> 00:21:27,230
A little louder
446
00:21:27,238 --> 00:21:28,610
BOTH: [LAUGH]
447
00:21:28,617 --> 00:21:33,200
Oh, my God, I used to think
this song was so sexy.
448
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:36,329
And now I kind of feel like it's
a little bit of a time capsule.
449
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:38,419
Well, I knew you liked it,
that's why I put it on there.
450
00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:40,640
What?
451
00:21:40,641 --> 00:21:43,310
I mean, I-I...
452
00:21:43,312 --> 00:21:47,013
pretended like it was for
the whole dorm, you know,
453
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,650
trying to be cool and
stuff, but it was...
454
00:21:49,659 --> 00:21:51,476
it was made for you.
455
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:54,410
How to love
456
00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:56,710
Really? Is this...
457
00:21:56,714 --> 00:21:58,818
- Is this... are you serious?
- Yeah.
458
00:22:00,304 --> 00:22:02,850
Didn't Fran tell you that
I had a crush on you?
459
00:22:02,852 --> 00:22:04,390
No.
460
00:22:04,396 --> 00:22:07,900
I told her not to tell
you so she'd tell you!
461
00:22:07,903 --> 00:22:10,700
Well, she never told me.
462
00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:12,620
Well, I definitely did.
463
00:22:12,621 --> 00:22:15,040
Your looks were so precious,
but now you're grown up
464
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,920
I still do.
465
00:22:16,921 --> 00:22:19,960
But you can't have a man
look at you for five seconds
466
00:22:19,969 --> 00:22:23,180
Without you being insecure
467
00:22:23,184 --> 00:22:26,270
You never credit yourself,
so when you got older
468
00:22:26,273 --> 00:22:27,512
That was cool.
469
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,110
You came back ten times over
470
00:22:29,112 --> 00:22:32,619
Now you're sittin' here
in this damn corner
471
00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:35,410
Lookin' through all your thoughts
and lookin' over your shoulder
472
00:22:35,416 --> 00:22:38,500
You had a lot of crooks
try to steal your heart
473
00:22:38,506 --> 00:22:40,233
[DIFFERENT SONG PLAYING]
474
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:44,559
If our love is tragedy
475
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,230
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God. [LAUGHS]
476
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,940
ANNIE: [LAUGHING] No!
477
00:22:49,946 --> 00:22:52,909
I can't believe that
I put this on there.
478
00:22:52,910 --> 00:22:54,660
Wh-Why did I put this on there?
479
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:57,869
- Oh, my God, that is so embarrassing.
- No.
480
00:22:57,870 --> 00:23:00,879
- That is so embarrassing.
- Wait. This is hell.
481
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,880
No, it isn't, it's a good kind of hell.
482
00:23:02,888 --> 00:23:05,760
- We have to turn this off.
- No, no. No, it's gotta play.
483
00:23:05,769 --> 00:23:07,350
- It's gotta play. I love this.
- No.
484
00:23:07,355 --> 00:23:09,100
OK, I'm gonna turn off
the speaker, then.
485
00:23:09,109 --> 00:23:10,764
- I can't handle this.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
486
00:23:10,765 --> 00:23:14,250
- [LAUGHS] Oh, shit.
- LAMAR: Don't, don't, don't.
487
00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:18,590
Why are you my remedy?
488
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,270
If our love is tragedy
489
00:23:28,272 --> 00:23:29,940
Are we gonna smash?
490
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:33,239
Why are you my remedy?
491
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,870
I-I think we have to, right?
492
00:23:35,871 --> 00:23:37,200
Yeah.
493
00:23:37,206 --> 00:23:39,877
Just for the playlist, you know?
494
00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,230
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
495
00:23:52,613 --> 00:23:55,750
Oh, what they think about you
496
00:24:06,431 --> 00:24:08,850
Oh, what they think about you
497
00:24:08,853 --> 00:24:12,480
Prepare to leave my body when
the time it comes through
498
00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:16,410
Loving on you till the
time it comes through
499
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,710
Why you always hate to break bread?
500
00:24:22,714 --> 00:24:26,260
Think about the way that you
would feel if never said
501
00:24:26,263 --> 00:24:27,970
Joke's on you
502
00:24:27,975 --> 00:24:30,690
Well, it's time to come through
503
00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,740
Yeah
504
00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:38,780
Well, if she had to
choose me or her mom
505
00:24:38,788 --> 00:24:43,630
I know I wouldn't last long, yeah
506
00:24:43,631 --> 00:24:46,560
No problem with the truth
507
00:24:48,307 --> 00:24:49,930
But when she made me laugh
508
00:24:49,935 --> 00:24:51,770
Doom doom right to my tomb
509
00:24:51,772 --> 00:24:53,609
I love that it's not
hard to be in a place
510
00:24:53,610 --> 00:24:55,110
Where laughing's easy like
511
00:24:55,112 --> 00:24:56,740
What the fuck is real?
512
00:24:56,741 --> 00:24:58,409
What the fuck is wrong?
513
00:24:58,410 --> 00:25:01,660
I think I can fit
with your tone, like
514
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:04,330
Oh, what they think about you
515
00:25:04,339 --> 00:25:07,919
Prepare to leave my body when
the time it comes through
516
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,670
Loving on you till the
time it comes through
517
00:25:15,654 --> 00:25:18,390
Why you always hate to break bread?
518
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,079
Think about the way that you
would feel if never said
519
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,320
Joke's on you
520
00:25:23,330 --> 00:25:26,430
Well, it's time to come through
521
00:25:32,186 --> 00:25:34,440
Time to come through
522
00:25:39,325 --> 00:25:40,960
Time to come
523
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,300
You know I wanna be
524
00:25:47,843 --> 00:25:51,390
Above everything
525
00:25:51,391 --> 00:25:55,721
But I'm just not there yet
526
00:25:55,771 --> 00:26:00,321
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