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1
00:00:03,973 --> 00:00:05,971
WOMAN CRIES OUT IN PAIN
2
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,973
UNDER HER BREATH:
Ah agle mou, Spirithona.
3
00:00:12,008 --> 00:00:14,931
- Oh, parcel.
- Ah.
4
00:00:14,966 --> 00:00:17,964
Riches from my tailor, Mr Jakeways.
5
00:00:21,962 --> 00:00:24,765
I saw Daphne with her baby,
for the first time.
6
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,924
Oh, darling.
7
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:30,921
I want my own family.
I'm 20, that's a good age to start.
8
00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:33,919
It isn't really. You can't even vote,
9
00:00:33,954 --> 00:00:35,918
and you've got... well, how much money?
10
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:39,916
- In financial terms?
- No, in bananas.
11
00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:41,950
Well, as a man in my prime, I'm ready.
12
00:00:42,949 --> 00:00:44,913
Bulls start at the age of one.
13
00:00:44,948 --> 00:00:46,912
Well, you're not a bull,
you help run a guesthouse.
14
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,910
And I need you here, while Larry's gone.
15
00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,909
And Margo say she will leave soon.
16
00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,907
What? Well, that's absurd.
17
00:00:53,942 --> 00:00:57,905
That's like releasing a dotty kitten
into the jungle.
18
00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:00,903
And that's why she wants to go,
because you think she's a clot.
19
00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:02,902
I don't think she's a clot!
20
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:07,899
She's just not ready for the real
world of normal human interaction.
21
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,933
Oh! Ah!
22
00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:14,895
- Lugaretzia, please, go home.
- I go home.
23
00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:18,927
Go home and rest your bad back
or your bottom or whatever it is.
24
00:01:20,926 --> 00:01:24,889
- What do you think?
- Does Mr Toad know you have his clothes?
25
00:01:24,924 --> 00:01:28,726
Louisa, I love your cruelty.
26
00:01:28,761 --> 00:01:30,885
Well, that's good, there's plenty
more where that came from.
27
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,884
CAR APPROACHES
28
00:01:32,919 --> 00:01:34,918
- CAR HORN
- Oh.
29
00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:38,081
- Martin crapped on me.
- Oh. - My fault.
30
00:01:38,116 --> 00:01:40,914
PIG SQUEALS
31
00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,909
You must be Mrs Durrells.
32
00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:55,870
- You come highly recommended.
- Ah, well, how nice.
33
00:01:55,905 --> 00:01:58,868
- Durrell, in fact.
- Do you have a room for me?
34
00:01:58,903 --> 00:02:01,901
I do. The penthouse on the top floor.
35
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,863
What is this, a ruddy zoo?
36
00:02:06,898 --> 00:02:08,862
Yes, I suppose it is.
37
00:02:08,897 --> 00:02:11,935
Don't get romantic with him.
He's not your type.
38
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:05,828
The Colonel loves guns,
so you two will get on well, Leslie.
39
00:03:05,863 --> 00:03:08,061
In fact, I've moved on from shooting.
40
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,823
Although that is quite something.
41
00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:16,536
Margo's gone. Sorry about the poo.
42
00:03:20,853 --> 00:03:23,817
'Dear Mother, I know you'd try
to make me stay,
43
00:03:23,852 --> 00:03:25,815
'so I've been smuggling
out my possessions.
44
00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:28,814
'I'll be at a secret location in Corfu.
45
00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:30,812
'I'll be in touch when settled.'
46
00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:32,846
- Where's Margo gone?
- She won't say.
47
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:36,809
Well, this is terrible.
We must search the island.
48
00:03:36,844 --> 00:03:40,806
No! We all run off when we're nippers.
49
00:03:40,841 --> 00:03:42,805
- How old is she?
- 18.
50
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,803
- Well, it's time she left then.
- Yes, it'll be all right.
51
00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:48,322
- Do her good.
- Your job's done.
52
00:03:48,357 --> 00:03:53,639
What do all you men know?
I'm... sad as a mother,
53
00:03:53,674 --> 00:03:55,872
as a woman,
frankly, I'm feeling outnumbered.
54
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,471
Then I went over the top in Wipers...
55
00:04:06,506 --> 00:04:07,790
- and...
- LAUGHS
56
00:04:07,825 --> 00:04:10,024
- ..copped a Blighty.
- What?
57
00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:13,786
He fought at Ypres
and was invalided home.
58
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,785
Still got a crotch full of shrapnel.
59
00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:19,783
I can't have magnets in the house.
60
00:04:19,818 --> 00:04:21,782
Louisa doesn't want to hear
the word "crotch".
61
00:04:21,817 --> 00:04:24,780
No, it's fine,
I am familiar with the concept.
62
00:04:24,815 --> 00:04:27,778
Well, don't let me harp on
about the war.
63
00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:28,777
Or should I?
64
00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:29,777
No.
65
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:32,775
The time I got a bayonet up
my jacksie in the Bosphorus, anyone?
66
00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:36,773
- I thought you liked war.
- Nobody sane likes war.
67
00:04:36,808 --> 00:04:39,451
I believe in protecting
one's loved ones,
68
00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:41,770
if one's lucky enough to have any.
69
00:04:41,805 --> 00:04:44,768
Well, the Hun are up to
their old tricks.
70
00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:46,767
Clearly, I didn't kill enough last time.
71
00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:49,445
Austria's gone, who's next?
72
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,764
I've decided there won't be a new war.
73
00:04:51,798 --> 00:04:53,762
Good girl.
74
00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:55,761
Little bit over familiar.
75
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,760
I've been here for months,
I've earned it.
76
00:04:57,795 --> 00:05:00,758
We have a super rapport.
77
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:03,956
Anyway, I've recently left the army
78
00:05:03,991 --> 00:05:07,754
and I'd rather like
to try my hand at hunting.
79
00:05:07,789 --> 00:05:10,752
- Oh no, don't do that.
- Why not?
80
00:05:10,787 --> 00:05:13,750
Only an idiot
would kill an animal for fun.
81
00:05:13,785 --> 00:05:15,749
And I'm sure you're not an idiot.
82
00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:17,783
Gerry, don't be rude
to our paying guests.
83
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,977
Your family, is it me,
or is it slightly falling apart?
84
00:05:44,766 --> 00:05:47,410
I love it here, Theo,
thanks for letting me stay.
85
00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:48,764
No, it's good for me.
86
00:05:50,763 --> 00:05:53,726
I'm a creature of routine,
which is terrible.
87
00:05:53,761 --> 00:05:56,085
Me and my perfectly symmetrical room.
88
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,724
Break it up!
89
00:05:57,759 --> 00:06:00,722
But let me tell your mother you're here.
90
00:06:00,757 --> 00:06:02,721
- She's anxious.
- No, don't you dare.
91
00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:06,918
Oh, I bought these
yesterday in the market.
92
00:06:06,953 --> 00:06:09,716
They'll help me inspire
my new beauty business.
93
00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:11,750
Let's take this old codger down.
94
00:06:15,748 --> 00:06:17,427
Isn't it gorgeous?
95
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,910
You don't mind, do you?
96
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,743
Thanks, Theo.
97
00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:39,733
FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING
98
00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:45,695
I hear you're a gun wallah.
Let's go hunting.
99
00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:47,533
No, I've left that behind me.
100
00:06:47,568 --> 00:06:49,692
I want a solid career
so I can have a family and...
101
00:06:49,727 --> 00:06:51,691
I'll pay you handsomely.
102
00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:55,729
Now, what's the big game on Corfu?
103
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,687
Well, the biggest prize is wild
boar, but they're hard to find.
104
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,686
Good! You sort that out then.
105
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,719
And I'll have my money back
if it's a washout.
106
00:07:15,711 --> 00:07:17,675
KNOCK
107
00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:20,229
- Yeah.
- DOOR OPENS
108
00:07:21,548 --> 00:07:22,672
Evening.
109
00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:25,670
Did you know that insects don't
have circulatory blood systems?
110
00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:27,189
Right.
111
00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:30,188
Their organs bathe in chambers of blood,
112
00:07:30,223 --> 00:07:32,666
it's usually green or yellow.
113
00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:35,699
I... need to confide in someone.
114
00:07:37,698 --> 00:07:39,697
- Leslie's downstairs.
- No, he'd be useless.
115
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:43,694
- The Colonel's...
- I'd rather die.
116
00:07:44,694 --> 00:07:47,657
- Mother's somewhere.
- It's her I want to talk about.
117
00:07:47,692 --> 00:07:49,656
Because I'm... finding,
118
00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:52,689
to my surprise, that I...
119
00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:55,687
..well...
120
00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:57,686
I love her.
121
00:08:01,684 --> 00:08:03,687
- I love her, too.
- Not the way I love her.
122
00:08:03,722 --> 00:08:05,681
Like a burning...
123
00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:08,679
..house.
124
00:08:10,678 --> 00:08:12,642
When locusts fail to find a mate
125
00:08:12,677 --> 00:08:14,641
they travel,
often for thousands of miles...
126
00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:17,639
Can we, for once, not relate
everything to creepy crawlies?
127
00:08:17,674 --> 00:08:20,672
Based on your knowledge of your mum...
128
00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:26,668
..d'you have any hints or tips
re unlocking her heart?
129
00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:34,664
- You haven't a hope in hell. Sorry.
- Well...
130
00:08:38,661 --> 00:08:40,660
There's a challenge.
131
00:08:43,658 --> 00:08:45,622
'Dear Ma and the sibling horde,
132
00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:47,621
'I'm perched up here in the North
133
00:08:47,656 --> 00:08:50,139
'which cascades serenity
134
00:08:50,174 --> 00:08:52,618
'when I'm not hammering
sentences into being.'
135
00:08:52,653 --> 00:08:56,650
Oh, Larry. Please relax, it's me.
136
00:08:57,650 --> 00:09:00,613
- 'How are the kids?'
- That's better.
137
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:03,611
'I miss them, and you, of course.
138
00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:07,609
'My dancer girls have left to prance
professionally in Athens,
139
00:09:07,644 --> 00:09:10,642
'but I am writing
like a hungry fish. Are you happy?
140
00:09:11,641 --> 00:09:15,604
'Knowing you, and I do,
you will concede only,
141
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:19,477
'"Partly happy with risk of
scattered doubts, heavy at times."'
142
00:09:22,675 --> 00:09:25,598
Larry's letters make me sad too.
143
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,597
But that's because they're gibberish.
144
00:09:27,632 --> 00:09:32,114
I miss him. And Margo, of course,
as one misses a....
145
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,273
..dotty kitten who's run off
into the jungle
146
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:37,626
- even though she's not ready for the real world or...
- All right.
147
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:42,428
But over the years, I've grown
used to confiding in Larry.
148
00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:46,585
And Spiros, although he and I
are rebuilding our friendship
149
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,619
- since, well, you know...
- Yes.
150
00:09:51,617 --> 00:09:55,580
Well, I'm mature, and financially secure
151
00:09:55,615 --> 00:09:57,578
now I'm running the Colonel's hunts.
152
00:09:57,613 --> 00:09:59,577
You don't need Larry or Spiros.
153
00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:03,255
I'm your confidant now.
Guiding your every move.
154
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:05,609
Your worries are at an end.
155
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:19,600
Sorry.
156
00:10:37,629 --> 00:10:41,552
- Spiros, have you seen Margo anywhere?
- No.
157
00:10:41,587 --> 00:10:44,585
You worry too much.
You should stop that.
158
00:10:45,584 --> 00:10:47,548
Spiros, things don't seem
to be getting back
159
00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:50,546
- to how they were between us.
- No, you're tense.
160
00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:53,545
Well, yes, I am, because I, I...
161
00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:58,542
You are alone in the house
with lots of men. It's not healthy.
162
00:10:58,577 --> 00:11:01,540
I will have as many men in the house
as I need to pay the bills.
163
00:11:01,575 --> 00:11:05,537
Lying around in hammocks
in their underwear if they wish.
164
00:11:05,572 --> 00:11:09,535
I'm just saying, make it clear
you're not interested in them.
165
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:12,568
I'm not interested in them!
166
00:11:13,568 --> 00:11:17,210
Drop in any time and see for yourself.
167
00:11:17,245 --> 00:11:19,404
I may do that.
168
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:36,037
My husband is away a lot,
and not reliable,
169
00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:38,231
but we are trying
to make a good marriage.
170
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:41,229
I'm going to love having a baby.
171
00:11:42,588 --> 00:11:45,587
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- No, I'm waiting for you.
172
00:11:47,226 --> 00:11:50,189
That's not fair. For you or anyone.
173
00:11:50,224 --> 00:11:52,223
Maybe, who knows.
174
00:11:54,221 --> 00:11:56,220
She likes you.
175
00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:00,183
But you can leave her
and go home and sleep.
176
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:02,182
I'll babysit if you want a rest.
177
00:12:02,217 --> 00:12:06,179
You would? My father says men
do not look after babies.
178
00:12:06,214 --> 00:12:09,177
Well, I'm the new kind of man.
Who's sensitive to women,
179
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:11,176
whilst remaining manly in the extreme.
180
00:12:11,211 --> 00:12:13,175
Leslie Durrell.
181
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:16,173
- Oh, Mr Likourgos.
- What are you doing these days?
182
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:19,171
I have an exciting new venture,
organising hunting trips.
183
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,170
Where is the best place
to hunt wild boar?
184
00:12:21,205 --> 00:12:25,168
The woods at Evropouli.
I own the hunting licence.
185
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:29,165
- You can shoot wild boar there.
- Oh, thank you.
186
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,200
For you, not expensive.
187
00:12:34,197 --> 00:12:36,716
Fine. How much?
188
00:12:51,707 --> 00:12:54,150
- Might I...
- SCREAMS
189
00:12:54,185 --> 00:12:55,829
Apologies.
190
00:12:55,864 --> 00:12:58,183
Erm... Might I help?
191
00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:02,180
Yes, you can wash up.
192
00:13:05,178 --> 00:13:07,177
- There you are.
- Oh!
193
00:13:08,177 --> 00:13:11,140
My tailor, Mr Jakeways, would faint
194
00:13:11,175 --> 00:13:13,174
if he saw me mixing textures like this.
195
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:18,136
I've never actually done this before.
196
00:13:18,171 --> 00:13:20,134
Oh, it's great fun.
197
00:13:20,169 --> 00:13:22,133
If you're very good,
you can build a new lavatory pit.
198
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,167
Ha-ha.
199
00:13:27,165 --> 00:13:28,165
Are you all right?
200
00:13:32,162 --> 00:13:36,484
Do you think my family is falling
apart, as the Colonel said?
201
00:13:36,519 --> 00:13:41,322
No! I mean I know...
one's left and one's missing
202
00:13:41,357 --> 00:13:44,120
and the other two hate each other,
but, er...
203
00:13:44,155 --> 00:13:47,153
So, Louisa...
204
00:13:48,152 --> 00:13:51,116
- Mm.
- What are your...
205
00:13:51,151 --> 00:13:53,149
Oh, look, I've made it clean.
206
00:13:58,146 --> 00:14:01,110
- What are your favourite things?
- Why do you ask?
207
00:14:01,145 --> 00:14:03,143
No reason. Come on!
208
00:14:05,142 --> 00:14:08,180
Erm... Dancing.
209
00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:13,462
Er, bridge, seafood... ooh!
210
00:14:13,497 --> 00:14:16,101
Dandie Dinmont dogs,
211
00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:18,099
- my children being happy...
- That's enough.
212
00:14:18,134 --> 00:14:21,132
Shh.
213
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,124
My copepods!
214
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:46,122
Honestly, Theo, why are people
so selfish and insensitive?
215
00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:49,081
It's not deliberate.
We are just different.
216
00:14:49,116 --> 00:14:52,079
- You don't know what I'm talking about.
- Oh, I see.
217
00:14:52,114 --> 00:14:55,112
Our new guest, Colonel Ribbidane, has...
218
00:14:56,791 --> 00:14:59,309
- Have you got guests?
- No, no.
219
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:04,071
So this preposterous Colonel arrives
with his war chest,
220
00:15:04,106 --> 00:15:06,750
and he and Leslie are planning
to slaughter wild boar.
221
00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:09,748
Well, tell Leslie how strongly you feel.
222
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:13,066
He's so much more thoughtful these days.
223
00:15:13,101 --> 00:15:15,065
What's this?
224
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:20,097
I'm.... experimenting
with more colour in my wardrobe.
225
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:24,094
You've got a woman, haven't you?
226
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:30,056
Yes, I have. But don't tell anyone.
227
00:15:30,091 --> 00:15:32,609
Honestly, Theo, it's about time,
we were all wondering.
228
00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:36,052
Who is it? Is she young?
229
00:15:36,087 --> 00:15:38,086
Is she a scientist, but a sexy one?
230
00:15:46,081 --> 00:15:48,080
It's Margo.
231
00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:54,041
Yes, it's Margo.
She's only staying here.
232
00:15:54,076 --> 00:15:56,080
- Well, I know that.
- But don't tell your mother.
233
00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:59,073
Margo is desperate
to discover more about herself.
234
00:16:00,272 --> 00:16:03,071
I miss her, but she's not easy
to live with, is she?
235
00:16:17,422 --> 00:16:20,225
Colonel, I've secured
the perfect private woodland
236
00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:23,059
- for hunting wild boar.
- Good man.
237
00:16:25,058 --> 00:16:26,057
Sit.
238
00:16:28,056 --> 00:16:33,732
Now, when I'm shooting with a man
I like to know what makes him tick.
239
00:16:35,051 --> 00:16:36,216
Answer?
240
00:16:36,251 --> 00:16:39,374
Well, I, er, like to think
I'm a decent sort.
241
00:16:39,409 --> 00:16:43,012
I hold this place together...
with my mother.
242
00:16:43,047 --> 00:16:48,009
What's this I hear about you pining
for some girl and a baby?
243
00:16:48,044 --> 00:16:50,007
- Well, yes...
- I've nothing against the dainty sex.
244
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,006
I've been married at least once
and they did their best,
245
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:56,004
but if we're going hunting together,
let's keep it...
246
00:16:56,039 --> 00:16:58,003
red blooded.
247
00:16:58,038 --> 00:17:02,035
Don't worry, when the time comes,
I'll be cocked and ready to go.
248
00:17:04,034 --> 00:17:06,033
A word, please.
249
00:17:07,032 --> 00:17:08,032
Excuse me.
250
00:17:13,028 --> 00:17:15,992
- Please don't go hunting.
- Oh, don't be so sentimental.
251
00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:18,990
Compared to how animals kill
each other, shooting them is humane.
252
00:17:19,025 --> 00:17:22,987
Cornering animals and executing them
is not humane.
253
00:17:23,022 --> 00:17:24,861
It's a wood, there are no corners.
254
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,379
Gerry, this is work.
The Colonel's paying me.
255
00:17:31,018 --> 00:17:31,982
All right, I'll save up
256
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:33,981
and I'll match what he's paying you.
How much is it?
257
00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:37,014
?25. For one week.
258
00:17:42,011 --> 00:17:45,814
I'm going to put a wave in your hair
like Jean Harlow.
259
00:17:45,849 --> 00:17:46,973
Why?
260
00:17:47,008 --> 00:17:49,811
We owe it to the world
to be as beautiful as possible.
261
00:17:49,846 --> 00:17:51,970
In case you're worried
I'm just a silly girl,
262
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,969
I worked at Theo's x-ray unit
for two years.
263
00:17:54,004 --> 00:17:56,487
So I know what I'm doing.
264
00:17:56,522 --> 00:18:00,000
The curling tongs need to be nice
and warm to put a wave in your hair.
265
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,358
DOOR OPENS
266
00:18:06,996 --> 00:18:08,675
Sorry I'm late.
267
00:18:09,994 --> 00:18:13,957
Mr Stephanides is my salon assistant
for the day.
268
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:16,955
One can't have enough strings
to one's bow, can one?
269
00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:19,953
WHISPERING
270
00:18:19,988 --> 00:18:21,952
Is there a difficulty?
271
00:18:21,987 --> 00:18:23,951
We were wondering whether your hair
is so lovely
272
00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:25,984
we should leave it as it is.
273
00:18:34,979 --> 00:18:35,978
Oh!
274
00:18:37,977 --> 00:18:41,300
Or treat this visit
as an initial consultation
275
00:18:41,335 --> 00:18:44,973
- and do some research and reconvene.
- What a good idea.
276
00:18:47,971 --> 00:18:50,934
Herete, Galini.
277
00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:52,968
- Gerry, pos eisai?
- Kala, efharisto.
278
00:18:55,966 --> 00:18:57,930
- Something bad is happening.
- Really?
279
00:18:57,965 --> 00:19:00,928
And there comes a time when we need
to stand up for what we believe in.
280
00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:01,928
Yes.
281
00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:03,926
What do we believe in?
282
00:19:03,961 --> 00:19:05,925
There's a mad Colonel staying with us
283
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,923
and he's paying Leslie
to take him to kill wild boar.
284
00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:10,442
- That's terrible.
- Exactly.
285
00:19:10,477 --> 00:19:12,921
- So we're going to stop them.
- Good.
286
00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:14,920
Well, I am.
287
00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,919
You probably better stay back
and watch me take the bullet.
288
00:19:16,954 --> 00:19:19,952
No, we die together.
289
00:19:28,946 --> 00:19:30,910
Leslie!
290
00:19:30,945 --> 00:19:33,908
Household items and provisions
for your hunting expedition.
291
00:19:33,943 --> 00:19:35,907
Ah, thank you, Spiros.
292
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,905
I hear you plan to hunt in the woods
with Mr Likourgos.
293
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,904
Yes, it's good for wild boar.
294
00:19:40,939 --> 00:19:43,902
- Well, in fact, it isn't.
- What?
295
00:19:43,937 --> 00:19:46,900
Mr Likourgos is pulling a fast one.
296
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:49,899
- Where does that saying come from?
- Er, I don't know.
297
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:50,898
What do you mean?
298
00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:53,896
There are no wild boars
in that forest...
299
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:57,254
or anywhere for miles.
And he doesn't own the licence,
300
00:19:57,289 --> 00:19:59,928
- it's common land.
- Argh!
301
00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:10,921
- Mrs Durrells.
- Mr Hakiaopulos.
302
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,244
Keen to check I'm not flirting
with all my menfolk?
303
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,403
Of course not.
304
00:20:16,438 --> 00:20:21,879
I saw your Basil in town,
buying a big gift, probably for you.
305
00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:23,878
Knowing Basil, it'll be for him.
306
00:20:23,913 --> 00:20:26,876
- Anyone seen my swimming hat?
- You need a hat to swim?
307
00:20:26,911 --> 00:20:29,270
Oh! You're looking good enough to scoff.
308
00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:32,233
He's never said anything
like that before.
309
00:20:32,268 --> 00:20:33,907
Uh-huh.
310
00:20:35,106 --> 00:20:36,870
I loved our chat yesterday.
311
00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:40,903
Thank you for opening up to me
so deliciously.
312
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:48,098
Now you see why I wonder?
Have they tried to seduce you?
313
00:20:49,897 --> 00:20:51,861
No. And that's not fair,
314
00:20:51,896 --> 00:20:53,860
Spiros, after all we've been through.
315
00:20:53,895 --> 00:20:55,859
And it's me who should be jealous.
316
00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:57,892
You're the one with a full bed
to go home to.
317
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:19,879
What's wrong?
318
00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:23,522
- Nothing.
- Don't "nothing" me.
319
00:21:23,557 --> 00:21:24,841
You confide in me, remember?
320
00:21:24,876 --> 00:21:27,874
I'm the new Larry,
but less pretentious. Come on.
321
00:21:31,872 --> 00:21:35,869
Spiros is jealous and what's
the point as we can't be together?
322
00:21:37,868 --> 00:21:40,831
Well, that's why he's jealous.
323
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:43,830
Well, in my experience, throwing
oneself into hard, vigorous work
324
00:21:43,865 --> 00:21:46,828
- can help conquer heartache.
- What do you think I've been doing?
325
00:21:46,863 --> 00:21:49,826
I have the hands of an ancient farmer.
326
00:21:49,861 --> 00:21:51,825
Good, you've taken that advice.
327
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:55,503
Now, what about winning Spiros over, hm?
328
00:21:55,538 --> 00:21:57,821
Spiros is a faithful husband,
329
00:21:57,856 --> 00:21:59,855
as is right and proper.
330
00:22:00,854 --> 00:22:02,693
And rare and regrettable.
331
00:22:03,853 --> 00:22:07,850
Would his wife perhaps step aside if
you were to make a good enough case?
332
00:22:08,850 --> 00:22:10,848
No, Leslie.
333
00:22:12,847 --> 00:22:15,810
No to that, fair enough.
334
00:22:15,845 --> 00:22:17,809
Well, if all three of you are unhappy
335
00:22:17,844 --> 00:22:20,842
- why not agree on some compromise?
- And how would that work?
336
00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:22,841
Hm...
337
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,804
I'm glad you value compromise.
338
00:22:26,839 --> 00:22:29,802
Please call off the hunt tomorrow,
for Gerry's sake...
339
00:22:29,837 --> 00:22:32,800
No! I'm going to bloody do this
340
00:22:32,835 --> 00:22:34,834
and it's going to be a success.
341
00:22:51,824 --> 00:22:52,788
So I said to my mother,
342
00:22:52,823 --> 00:22:55,786
"you've never really taken me
seriously, have you?"
343
00:22:55,821 --> 00:22:57,785
That is hard for a mother to hear.
344
00:22:57,820 --> 00:23:01,783
In fact, I've always enjoyed
not being taken seriously,
345
00:23:01,817 --> 00:23:03,816
but as you get older,
it becomes a bit unseemly.
346
00:23:06,175 --> 00:23:07,814
Now don't shout at me.
347
00:23:20,646 --> 00:23:21,770
I look nice.
348
00:23:21,805 --> 00:23:24,449
You do.
349
00:23:24,484 --> 00:23:27,767
- So how long will this last?
- The wave?
350
00:23:27,802 --> 00:23:31,604
Not long. But next time
I can put in a permanent one.
351
00:23:31,639 --> 00:23:35,762
- How do you do that?
- Chemicals and a lot of bravery.
352
00:23:35,797 --> 00:23:37,796
If I get it wrong,
all your hair falls out.
353
00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:40,794
I trust you.
354
00:23:58,303 --> 00:23:59,782
Come here.
355
00:24:01,781 --> 00:24:04,744
- Sit! Sit!
- PIG SQUEALS
356
00:24:04,779 --> 00:24:06,778
Argh! Martin, come here.
357
00:24:10,776 --> 00:24:11,775
Come on, you'll look good in this.
358
00:24:12,974 --> 00:24:14,813
Here!
359
00:24:18,771 --> 00:24:21,769
PIG SQUEALS
360
00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:28,765
Oh, for God's sake.
361
00:24:49,752 --> 00:24:52,715
- Ah, morning, can I have a word?
- Just off to see Galini. - Stop!
362
00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:54,714
Two things.
363
00:24:54,749 --> 00:24:58,912
If you try to interfere
in the shooting, you may die,
364
00:24:58,947 --> 00:25:01,710
which would, on balance, be a waste.
365
00:25:01,745 --> 00:25:02,749
And?
366
00:25:02,784 --> 00:25:05,708
Do people know where Margo is
and they're not telling me
367
00:25:05,743 --> 00:25:07,102
out of some urge to protect her?
368
00:25:08,421 --> 00:25:10,705
Well, I've protected her all her life
369
00:25:10,739 --> 00:25:12,703
- and I am the best at it.
- Yes, you are.
370
00:25:12,738 --> 00:25:14,702
FOOTSTEPS
371
00:25:14,737 --> 00:25:16,741
- Thank you.
- Where are you off to?
372
00:25:16,776 --> 00:25:19,379
Hunting.
373
00:25:19,414 --> 00:25:20,738
Oh.
374
00:25:21,633 --> 00:25:24,792
- Are you in a pickle of some sort?
- Do you really want to know?
375
00:25:27,590 --> 00:25:29,554
No, no.
376
00:25:29,589 --> 00:25:32,552
So, we're after wild boar.
377
00:25:32,587 --> 00:25:36,549
I'm new to the hunting game,
unless you count Germans.
378
00:25:36,584 --> 00:25:40,582
- Let's not.
- And Turks.
379
00:25:42,581 --> 00:25:44,385
I'll get on then.
380
00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:46,418
Solid plan! Solid plan!
381
00:25:53,574 --> 00:25:56,537
- Hello, Leslie.
- Daphne. And Katina, how nice.
382
00:25:56,572 --> 00:25:59,535
- I have a favour to ask.
- Yeah, before you do...
383
00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:01,534
Your father's cheated me.
384
00:26:01,569 --> 00:26:03,533
I paid him to let us hunt wild boar
385
00:26:03,568 --> 00:26:05,532
and it seems there aren't any
and I didn't need to.
386
00:26:05,567 --> 00:26:09,529
- Otherwise, brilliant.
- I'm so sorry, I didn't know.
387
00:26:09,564 --> 00:26:12,528
- You said you may be able to babysit.
- I'd love to.
388
00:26:12,563 --> 00:26:15,526
- Thank you, I have so many things to do.
- Woah, woah, now?
389
00:26:15,561 --> 00:26:17,525
I'm about to leave on a wild boar hunt.
390
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,883
- But you said there are no wild boar there.
- Shh!
391
00:26:19,918 --> 00:26:21,522
I have a plan to get round that,
392
00:26:21,557 --> 00:26:23,556
by creating the illusion
of a wild boar, see?
393
00:26:24,555 --> 00:26:25,520
Perhaps nobody is honest.
394
00:26:25,555 --> 00:26:28,518
Look, I'll help any other time,
but this hunt is so important to me.
395
00:26:28,553 --> 00:26:30,517
Larry's left
so I'm the man of the house now
396
00:26:30,552 --> 00:26:33,550
and for the first time I can, erm,
really, erm...
397
00:26:34,589 --> 00:26:37,513
All right, my mother can
look after you until I get back.
398
00:26:37,547 --> 00:26:39,511
Can't she, eh?
399
00:26:39,546 --> 00:26:41,190
- Everything you need is in there.
- OK.
400
00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:43,509
- I will come back tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
401
00:26:43,544 --> 00:26:47,222
Please. I need a break or I go mad.
402
00:26:49,540 --> 00:26:50,540
BABY CRIES
403
00:27:03,532 --> 00:27:05,531
Oh, hello.
404
00:27:08,049 --> 00:27:13,331
- Theo, I'm sorry...
- No, no, no, I am.
405
00:27:13,366 --> 00:27:15,849
But the truth is,
I'm so used to living on my own.
406
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:18,488
Oh, no, you've hated having me here.
407
00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:21,006
No, you're a delight, you're my friend.
408
00:27:21,041 --> 00:27:24,519
But for me, a disorderly house
creates a disorderly mind.
409
00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:28,517
But I'm fine
now the furniture is symmetrical.
410
00:27:37,511 --> 00:27:39,995
I know now what I need to do.
411
00:27:40,030 --> 00:27:42,473
Please, tell your mother where you are.
412
00:27:42,508 --> 00:27:44,472
Not yet.
413
00:27:44,507 --> 00:27:46,506
I'm getting a taste for independence.
414
00:27:47,505 --> 00:27:50,468
You'd have been proud of me,
I waved Mrs Mavrokondas's hair
415
00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:53,342
- without killing her.
- I am proud of you.
416
00:27:57,699 --> 00:28:01,497
Basil, I need your help
with my hunting expedition.
417
00:28:02,496 --> 00:28:05,979
Oh, I knew there was something -
you mustn't go hunting,
418
00:28:06,014 --> 00:28:09,492
- your mother asked me to stop it.
- Tough, we're going. But...
419
00:28:11,491 --> 00:28:14,454
..would you go ahead,
hide in the foliage
420
00:28:14,489 --> 00:28:17,452
and make a noise
like a wild boar, please?
421
00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:19,491
I fear that could end in tears.
422
00:28:19,526 --> 00:28:22,449
No, no, it won't. It'll be a laugh!
423
00:28:22,484 --> 00:28:24,483
Day out in the woods, up a tree.
424
00:28:26,162 --> 00:28:28,480
- Why do you need wild boar noises?
- Shh!
425
00:28:30,479 --> 00:28:33,442
Because there are no wild boars,
it turns out,
426
00:28:33,477 --> 00:28:36,441
so the Colonel
will demand his money back.
427
00:28:36,476 --> 00:28:39,474
My sympathies. Still no.
428
00:28:41,473 --> 00:28:43,436
If you help me,
I'll show you how to impress Mother.
429
00:28:43,471 --> 00:28:47,434
I've already taken steps
to win her over.
430
00:28:47,469 --> 00:28:50,467
Well, I can more or less guarantee
success, because I'm her confidant.
431
00:28:53,145 --> 00:28:54,430
What noise do wild boar make?
432
00:28:54,465 --> 00:28:57,428
If I remember correctly,
it's something like...
433
00:28:57,463 --> 00:28:59,462
- IMITATES WILD BOAR SQUEAL
- But louder.
434
00:29:00,461 --> 00:29:02,785
IMITATES WILD BOAR SQUEAL
435
00:29:02,820 --> 00:29:06,422
Wow, yeah. Oh, that's a nasty cough.
436
00:29:06,457 --> 00:29:07,457
- It's a bit of a... a tickle.
- Tickle.
437
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:13,418
Delivery for you.
What are we waiting for?
438
00:29:13,453 --> 00:29:16,971
- I just need my mother to come home before we leave.
- Why?
439
00:29:32,442 --> 00:29:36,404
- Welcome home!
- Thank you, no need to welcome me.
440
00:29:36,439 --> 00:29:38,403
I, er, have something to say.
441
00:29:38,438 --> 00:29:42,401
Over the months I've been here,
you may have observed my journey
442
00:29:42,436 --> 00:29:45,399
from somewhat prissy guest
to dogged admirer.
443
00:29:45,434 --> 00:29:48,397
You're going quite fast,
can I just gently slow you down
444
00:29:48,432 --> 00:29:50,396
and ask you to shut your eyes.
445
00:29:50,431 --> 00:29:53,594
Why? The last time I did that,
Gerry put a lizard down my blouse.
446
00:29:53,629 --> 00:29:56,072
Yes, I won't do that.
447
00:29:56,107 --> 00:30:00,105
Though it sounds like massive fun.
Erm, ready then?
448
00:30:05,422 --> 00:30:08,585
So, here... er, stop.
449
00:30:08,620 --> 00:30:12,383
Keep them shut.
As a symbol of our connection,
450
00:30:12,418 --> 00:30:16,415
is this gift which I now give you.
451
00:30:20,413 --> 00:30:21,612
And, open.
452
00:30:34,924 --> 00:30:38,367
Obviously, it lacks water, but I'll...
453
00:30:38,402 --> 00:30:40,401
divert a stream when I have a moment.
454
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,044
- Basil, why have you...?
- Say nothing.
455
00:30:43,079 --> 00:30:45,398
Please excuse me, I'm needed in a wood.
456
00:30:46,397 --> 00:30:48,436
Enjoy your gift.
457
00:30:55,392 --> 00:30:57,355
- Whose is that?
- Daphne's.
458
00:30:57,390 --> 00:30:59,389
Oh, Leslie.
459
00:31:01,388 --> 00:31:04,386
- Oh, a... a letter from Larry.
- Oh, thank you, darling.
460
00:31:08,424 --> 00:31:12,346
- Why has Basil bought us a bridge?
- Yes, that did seem odd.
461
00:31:12,381 --> 00:31:14,345
'Dear Mother.
462
00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:17,343
'Enchante to hear
that Margo's nesting with Theo.
463
00:31:17,378 --> 00:31:19,342
- 'Is that a secret?'
- Hah!
464
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:22,340
Erm, can you babysit Daphne's baby
while I'm hunting?
465
00:31:22,375 --> 00:31:24,339
Oh, no, darling,
I have to go back to town.
466
00:31:24,374 --> 00:31:27,337
- Oh, well...
- This is much better.
467
00:31:27,372 --> 00:31:30,370
You stay here and be Daddy,
as you said you wanted to.
468
00:31:35,367 --> 00:31:37,366
What the hell am I going to do with you?
469
00:31:41,204 --> 00:31:44,327
- Lovely day for it.
- I'm not talking to you!
470
00:31:44,362 --> 00:31:45,361
Fine.
471
00:32:04,350 --> 00:32:06,314
You'd have been court-martialled
for that in a war.
472
00:32:06,349 --> 00:32:09,312
- Highly unprofessional.
- I've said I'm sorry.
473
00:32:09,347 --> 00:32:11,151
RUSTLING NOISE
474
00:32:11,186 --> 00:32:12,310
GUNFIRE
475
00:32:12,345 --> 00:32:14,309
BABY SCREAMS AND CRIES
476
00:32:14,344 --> 00:32:17,382
- Don't make me shoot the baby.
- That's not funny.
477
00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:22,339
- Please shush.
- CRYING CONTINUES
478
00:32:23,338 --> 00:32:25,337
- Shh.
- Shh!
479
00:32:27,376 --> 00:32:30,014
Let's just clog your ears up.
480
00:32:34,851 --> 00:32:36,330
IMITATES WILD BOAR
481
00:32:39,329 --> 00:32:41,292
Th... that's a wild boar.
482
00:32:41,327 --> 00:32:43,291
How exciting, I told you
I'd find you some.
483
00:32:43,326 --> 00:32:44,291
Isn't it coming from up a tree?
484
00:32:44,326 --> 00:32:49,163
Hardly, they can't climb trees.
You're thinking of a squirrel.
485
00:32:50,322 --> 00:32:51,321
GUNFIRE
486
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,284
This way.
487
00:32:55,319 --> 00:32:57,283
Are you sure about this?
488
00:32:57,318 --> 00:32:59,317
We could get shot and killed.
489
00:33:00,316 --> 00:33:01,315
Are YOU sure about it?
490
00:33:10,310 --> 00:33:11,309
KNOCK
491
00:33:16,826 --> 00:33:19,269
Hello. How nice...
492
00:33:19,304 --> 00:33:22,268
It's all right, Theo, I know.
493
00:33:22,303 --> 00:33:24,266
I did try to persuade Margo to tell you.
494
00:33:24,301 --> 00:33:26,265
Well, you should have asked me,
495
00:33:26,300 --> 00:33:29,298
I have a range of techniques
for calling Margo to heel.
496
00:33:33,296 --> 00:33:34,295
Oh...
497
00:33:39,292 --> 00:33:42,256
I was forgetting what you looked like.
498
00:33:42,291 --> 00:33:45,773
After a week?
What kind of mother are you?
499
00:33:45,808 --> 00:33:47,967
I don't know.
500
00:33:49,286 --> 00:33:51,285
BABY CRYING
501
00:33:53,284 --> 00:33:55,283
Oh, God, this is horrible.
502
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,278
Let's hope this is the last
of your stinking effluent.
503
00:34:15,271 --> 00:34:17,109
IMITATES WILD BOAR
504
00:34:19,268 --> 00:34:21,267
BASIL IMITATING WILD BOAR
505
00:34:22,266 --> 00:34:24,265
LOUD GONG AND TAMBOURINE
506
00:34:26,264 --> 00:34:29,227
- Shoo, scat. - Pavste!
- REPEATED GONG
507
00:34:29,262 --> 00:34:31,226
- Hunting is wrong!
- Stop this cruelty!
508
00:34:31,261 --> 00:34:34,224
Drop your guns
and cuddle an animal today!
509
00:34:34,259 --> 00:34:36,258
GUNSHOT
510
00:34:37,257 --> 00:34:39,421
How dare you! My mother loves that gong!
511
00:34:39,456 --> 00:34:41,220
Well, you're wasting your bloody breath
512
00:34:41,255 --> 00:34:44,218
because there are no wild boar
in these woods anyway!
513
00:34:44,253 --> 00:34:46,217
Probably because
they've all been gunned down.
514
00:34:46,252 --> 00:34:48,216
They need protecting!
515
00:34:48,251 --> 00:34:52,248
In fact, there are wild boar here,
because we heard the bastards.
516
00:34:56,246 --> 00:34:58,245
SHRIEKS
517
00:35:15,234 --> 00:35:18,198
I will see you... in court.
518
00:35:18,233 --> 00:35:21,231
Look, I was just trying to give you
good value for money!
519
00:35:22,230 --> 00:35:24,194
You think I'm a buffoon, do you?
520
00:35:24,229 --> 00:35:26,193
- You must be.
- No.
521
00:35:26,228 --> 00:35:28,191
Killing isn't a sport, it's a sickness!
522
00:35:28,226 --> 00:35:30,225
Gerry!
523
00:35:41,219 --> 00:35:44,182
- 'Fire!'
- BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS
524
00:35:44,217 --> 00:35:46,216
'Fire your weapon!
525
00:35:49,214 --> 00:35:53,251
'For God's sake,
do something, man! Fire!
526
00:35:55,210 --> 00:35:58,173
'Colonel! Colonel!
527
00:35:58,208 --> 00:36:00,407
'Colonel!'
528
00:36:08,202 --> 00:36:10,201
You could have killed my brother!
529
00:36:32,008 --> 00:36:34,492
Margo, I love you and I miss you.
530
00:36:34,527 --> 00:36:37,970
And I need you at home,
as a... as a daughter
531
00:36:38,005 --> 00:36:40,968
- and frankly as a woman.
- You've got Lugaretzia.
532
00:36:41,003 --> 00:36:41,608
Oh, she's off with her bad back
or her bottom
533
00:36:41,609 --> 00:36:43,573
or whatever it is this time.
534
00:36:43,608 --> 00:36:45,572
Have I been so terrible?
535
00:36:45,607 --> 00:36:50,569
No! But you're very... dominant.
536
00:36:50,604 --> 00:36:52,567
No, I'm not!
537
00:36:52,602 --> 00:36:53,567
You'd never come to me for advice,
538
00:36:53,602 --> 00:36:56,565
because you only really listen to Larry.
539
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,564
- You only miss me now I'm gone.
- Oh, Margo.
540
00:36:58,599 --> 00:37:01,562
- Anyway, I've bothered Theo enough.
- No, no, no, no.
541
00:37:01,597 --> 00:37:04,560
- So I'm moving out.
- Oh, thank you, darling...
542
00:37:04,595 --> 00:37:08,558
- And I'm going to England.
- No... Why?
543
00:37:08,593 --> 00:37:10,557
I haven't been there for years.
544
00:37:10,592 --> 00:37:12,915
I need to train properly in beauty,
545
00:37:12,950 --> 00:37:15,554
I just need to do something brave.
546
00:37:15,589 --> 00:37:19,551
Well, you'll soon discover
there's no place like home.
547
00:37:19,586 --> 00:37:22,549
But where is home? I love Corfu,
548
00:37:22,584 --> 00:37:24,748
but you turned us into nomads
when you brought us here.
549
00:37:24,783 --> 00:37:26,942
Home is...
550
00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:32,578
- ...where I am.
- You see? That's you being dominant.
551
00:37:34,577 --> 00:37:38,095
- How long will you be gone?
- I don't know.
552
00:37:45,570 --> 00:37:47,569
Theo, you can keep my lovely pictures.
553
00:38:17,551 --> 00:38:20,514
I'm sorry it wasn't a huge success.
If you want your money back...
554
00:38:20,549 --> 00:38:24,547
You stopped me committing murder.
I'm hardly going to expect a refund.
555
00:38:25,546 --> 00:38:28,509
I know what it's like, haunting
flashbacks to the battlefield.
556
00:38:28,544 --> 00:38:31,508
- They're hard to shake off.
- Where did you serve?
557
00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:34,541
Yeovil College for trainee solicitors.
558
00:38:35,540 --> 00:38:37,504
Not all of the lads made it.
559
00:38:37,539 --> 00:38:40,502
Well, thank goodness you're all safe.
560
00:38:40,537 --> 00:38:43,500
- Galini and I stopped the slaughter.
- LESLIE: No, you didn't.
561
00:38:43,535 --> 00:38:46,499
- He shot your gong.
- It's still perfectly sound.
562
00:38:46,534 --> 00:38:49,537
- Oh, really? Does THIS sound sound?
- WARPED GONG SOUNDS
563
00:38:49,572 --> 00:38:51,496
- You are so self-righteous.
- Oh, am I?
564
00:38:51,531 --> 00:38:54,174
- And what does that make you?
- Why don't you tell me?
565
00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:55,493
Shut up!
566
00:38:55,528 --> 00:39:00,490
Are you going to ask me how am?
In this house of men?
567
00:39:00,525 --> 00:39:02,489
- As my family disintegrates?
- What?
568
00:39:02,524 --> 00:39:04,523
- Who's disintegrating?
- How are you?
569
00:39:09,879 --> 00:39:11,843
KNOCK
570
00:39:11,878 --> 00:39:14,517
- Yes?
- It's a man.
571
00:39:15,516 --> 00:39:18,514
- Would you prefer to rendezvous on the landing?
- No.
572
00:39:20,513 --> 00:39:22,512
Sorry to penetrate your bolt-hole.
573
00:39:24,031 --> 00:39:28,993
I'm worried I wasn't very clear,
when I gave you the bridge.
574
00:39:29,028 --> 00:39:31,471
Yes, what was that all about?
575
00:39:31,506 --> 00:39:34,669
I asked you what you liked
576
00:39:34,704 --> 00:39:37,503
and you said "a bridge".
577
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:44,304
No, I said I like, "er, bridge".
578
00:39:44,339 --> 00:39:48,496
The card game.
My husband and I used to play.
579
00:39:49,495 --> 00:39:51,494
Oh, bugger.
580
00:39:53,493 --> 00:39:54,977
Do you like bridges?
581
00:39:55,012 --> 00:39:58,455
Well, I'm glad they exist,
for crossing water.
582
00:39:58,490 --> 00:40:00,454
Anyway...
583
00:40:00,489 --> 00:40:04,651
the bridge is merely a metaphor,
in wood,
584
00:40:04,686 --> 00:40:09,968
- of my love for you.
- Oh.
585
00:40:10,003 --> 00:40:15,964
Your warmth and beauty
illuminate every room you enter.
586
00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:18,443
I came for a fortnight's holiday
587
00:40:18,478 --> 00:40:24,439
and months later, I am still here,
waiting and wanting.
588
00:40:24,474 --> 00:40:28,832
So, how about it, you and me?
589
00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:33,509
No, I have no romantic feelings for you.
590
00:40:34,508 --> 00:40:36,507
We are related after all.
591
00:40:41,464 --> 00:40:43,463
- It's very distant.
- Not distant enough.
592
00:40:45,462 --> 00:40:47,460
- I don't think you should sit on my bed.
- Right, sorry.
593
00:40:50,818 --> 00:40:54,421
And of course, there is Spiros.
594
00:40:54,456 --> 00:40:58,459
Why eat boiled beef when
there's hot souvlaki on the menu?
595
00:40:58,494 --> 00:41:00,418
He's not on the menu.
596
00:41:00,453 --> 00:41:03,935
Well, I'll leave tomorrow.
597
00:41:03,970 --> 00:41:07,413
No, look, Basil, stay.
598
00:41:07,448 --> 00:41:11,411
Stop having English clothes sent over,
599
00:41:11,446 --> 00:41:14,449
relax, find someone nice here.
600
00:41:14,484 --> 00:41:16,443
Who isn't me.
601
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,119
CAR HORN
602
00:41:25,637 --> 00:41:28,401
- Ladies.
- Thanks, Spiros!
603
00:41:28,436 --> 00:41:31,434
- Pleasure. - You're a darling!
- You're welcome.
604
00:41:34,432 --> 00:41:36,431
- Mrs D!
- Swim with us!
605
00:41:39,429 --> 00:41:40,433
- SCREAM
- Look at the sea!
606
00:41:40,468 --> 00:41:42,427
Oh, it's so good to be back.
607
00:41:49,423 --> 00:41:51,906
You want me to apologise
for caring about you?
608
00:41:51,941 --> 00:41:53,386
This isn't caring.
609
00:41:53,420 --> 00:41:55,384
This is having your cake and eating it.
610
00:41:55,419 --> 00:41:57,383
- What does that mean?
- It means,
611
00:41:57,418 --> 00:41:59,582
you have a wife you want to keep
612
00:41:59,617 --> 00:42:02,415
and me here waiting for you,
just in case.
613
00:42:04,414 --> 00:42:05,453
I'm sorry...
614
00:42:07,412 --> 00:42:08,931
That's not fair.
615
00:42:09,931 --> 00:42:13,408
But we've tried to be normal
together and we just can't do it.
616
00:42:15,087 --> 00:42:16,407
I know.
617
00:42:18,405 --> 00:42:20,404
I'm sorry.
618
00:42:48,387 --> 00:42:51,350
Leslie's busy
putting the baby down to sleep,
619
00:42:51,385 --> 00:42:53,384
but I'm here if you want
a deputy confidant.
620
00:42:54,384 --> 00:42:56,382
Thank you.
621
00:42:59,381 --> 00:43:01,379
LAUGHING AND SCREAMING
622
00:43:02,379 --> 00:43:05,377
They're swimming naked, aren't they?
623
00:43:07,736 --> 00:43:09,340
Er, I think I will stay on.
624
00:43:09,375 --> 00:43:12,338
I'll just take the dancers
their towels...
625
00:43:12,373 --> 00:43:15,336
They'll dry... in the sun.
626
00:43:15,371 --> 00:43:17,370
Go on, in you go.
627
00:43:20,368 --> 00:43:25,330
Oh, Lugaretzia, what
an absolute pleasure to see you.
628
00:43:25,365 --> 00:43:27,329
You also.
629
00:43:27,364 --> 00:43:30,327
And how is your bad back
or bottom or wherever it is?
630
00:43:30,362 --> 00:43:33,360
- Ah, less bad, thank you.
- Good.
631
00:43:36,358 --> 00:43:39,321
- There are naked ladies in the sea!
- I know.
632
00:43:39,356 --> 00:43:40,681
What can you do?
633
00:43:40,716 --> 00:43:43,319
Yeah, we danced for our supper
in Athens.
634
00:43:43,354 --> 00:43:44,998
And we're joining Larry up the coast.
635
00:43:45,033 --> 00:43:47,317
He's promised to give us a huge welcome.
636
00:43:47,352 --> 00:43:51,314
Oh, I bet he has.
Well, tell him we'll visit soon.
637
00:43:51,349 --> 00:43:53,313
- DOOR OPENS
- Theo told me you're missing
638
00:43:53,348 --> 00:43:55,312
- female company.
- Aw!
639
00:43:55,347 --> 00:43:57,311
Thank you, Florence.
640
00:43:57,346 --> 00:44:00,309
Yes, it's been like
a working men's club here.
641
00:44:00,344 --> 00:44:02,308
Come in and spread a little daintiness.
642
00:44:02,342 --> 00:44:05,306
Oh, you seem to be doing all right.
643
00:44:05,341 --> 00:44:07,304
Still, we're here now. I bring wine
644
00:44:07,339 --> 00:44:10,303
and surgery gossip involving
sexually transmitted diseases.
645
00:44:10,338 --> 00:44:12,336
- Oh!
- THEY LAUGH
646
00:44:14,335 --> 00:44:18,298
I'll, er, I'll be making
my farewells, Mrs Durrell.
647
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:20,297
Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel. Why?
648
00:44:20,332 --> 00:44:23,295
Well, I feel I need
a new challenge in my life,
649
00:44:23,330 --> 00:44:25,294
one that doesn't involve firearms.
650
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,812
Well, you could stay and...
651
00:44:27,847 --> 00:44:30,326
go for walks or read books.
652
00:44:31,325 --> 00:44:33,968
Anyway, I'll leave my guns for Leslie.
653
00:44:34,003 --> 00:44:36,327
He's a fine lad,
despite his baby fetish.
654
00:44:36,362 --> 00:44:39,285
- Ah, here's Daphne.
- Aw, hi!
655
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,319
- COLONEL CLEARS HIS THROAT
- Afti pali?
656
00:44:42,678 --> 00:44:45,321
So many women. Where's Margo?
657
00:44:45,356 --> 00:44:48,280
Margo is going to try England.
658
00:44:48,315 --> 00:44:51,278
Oh, good for her!
659
00:44:51,313 --> 00:44:53,991
Yes. Good for her.
660
00:45:04,305 --> 00:45:07,268
So is that you done for children?
661
00:45:07,303 --> 00:45:09,267
Ugh, yeah, they're a nightmare.
662
00:45:09,302 --> 00:45:12,265
Listen, I know I haven't been
a good confidant to you so far.
663
00:45:12,300 --> 00:45:14,264
Well, I'll need you later
to shore me up.
664
00:45:14,299 --> 00:45:17,262
I can't see Spiros any more
and Margo's going away.
665
00:45:17,297 --> 00:45:18,941
No, I won't make sense later,
666
00:45:18,976 --> 00:45:22,294
I'm off to get slaughtered
with Basil and the Colonel. Bye!
667
00:45:26,292 --> 00:45:29,295
At last. This is so lovely!
668
00:45:29,330 --> 00:45:32,288
- Isn't it!
- Yes, go on.
669
00:45:37,285 --> 00:45:39,249
Do we need some men?
670
00:45:39,284 --> 00:45:42,087
Might be nice.
671
00:45:42,122 --> 00:45:44,281
- THEY LAUGH
- ALL: Yamas!
672
00:45:50,277 --> 00:45:52,241
- Hello, Aunty, Uncle.
- What?
673
00:45:52,276 --> 00:45:54,280
My daughter Maud's governess
had to leave suddenly
674
00:45:54,315 --> 00:45:56,239
and I was wondering
if you could take over.
675
00:45:56,274 --> 00:46:00,236
- Let's all go and visit Larry.
- Ah!
676
00:46:00,271 --> 00:46:01,236
Captain Creech!
677
00:46:01,271 --> 00:46:03,234
- Pull up a bottom.
- We're leaving.
678
00:46:03,269 --> 00:46:05,593
I don't think you have met my wife.
679
00:46:05,628 --> 00:46:07,787
How nice to finally meet you.
680
00:46:07,837 --> 00:46:12,387
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