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1
00:00:03,413 --> 00:00:05,080
I want you to be comfortable.
2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,543
I want you to be comfortable too.
3
00:00:07,545 --> 00:00:09,262
Is it alright if I touch you?
4
00:00:09,727 --> 00:00:10,988
Take your cock out.
5
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:14,349
I wanna watch you do something first.
6
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:15,981
OK.
7
00:00:16,578 --> 00:00:18,188
Rub yourself for me.
8
00:00:18,589 --> 00:00:19,836
Like this?
9
00:00:19,838 --> 00:00:22,184
Yeah, just like that.
10
00:00:23,032 --> 00:00:25,002
Oh God, come here and rub me.
11
00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:28,872
What else did this director do?
12
00:00:28,874 --> 00:00:32,801
He did that mystery, the boy
who goes back in time, Evergreen.
13
00:00:32,803 --> 00:00:35,076
Yeah, yeah, I saw that.
It was a good movie.
14
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,751
Yeah, that one was good, that was good.
15
00:00:37,753 --> 00:00:38,838
So good.
16
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,625
He must have a really
great cinematographer,
17
00:00:43,356 --> 00:00:47,273
ya know, his movies are always
so beautifully, beautifully shot.
18
00:00:47,275 --> 00:00:48,971
- They are. They are.
- Right?
19
00:00:49,977 --> 00:00:51,690
Oh God, that's it.
20
00:00:51,692 --> 00:00:53,102
Feels so good.
21
00:00:57,012 --> 00:00:58,559
Oh God.
22
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:05,184
Mom.
23
00:01:05,186 --> 00:01:07,300
You're missing
the best part of the movie.
24
00:01:07,941 --> 00:01:10,196
Oh my God, what are you watching?
25
00:01:10,198 --> 00:01:11,987
The movie you selected.
26
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,490
You know what, why don't I rewind it.
27
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,578
- No, no, that's OK.
- You know what, you're right.
28
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:19,399
It'll be faster if I just recap it.
So he said, "Let me touch you."
29
00:01:19,401 --> 00:01:20,875
She said, "Take your cock out,"
30
00:01:20,877 --> 00:01:23,128
and then he did
some stuff with it and then,
31
00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:24,868
that's pretty much where we are.
32
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:26,985
So I think we're good now.
Should I press play?
33
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,328
- Great.
- I think we're just gonna head home.
34
00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:32,653
Mom, shh, we're watching the movie now.
35
00:01:32,655 --> 00:01:33,656
Thank you.
36
00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:45,511
- Synced and corrected by Darrow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37
00:01:57,246 --> 00:01:59,313
Well I can never look
Leon in the eye again.
38
00:01:59,315 --> 00:02:01,573
Where else do you feel
comfortable looking?
39
00:02:01,575 --> 00:02:06,536
I feel like now, I'm only full
direct eye contact with Leon,
40
00:02:06,538 --> 00:02:08,213
I don't look up, I don't look down.
41
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,216
Oh God.
42
00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,587
You know what,
tomorrow night, instead of going out,
43
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,976
maybe Jennifer and I
will just re-watch that,
44
00:02:13,978 --> 00:02:16,254
call it quits on our friendship forever.
45
00:02:16,256 --> 00:02:18,987
So if you guys don't watch pornography
tomorrow, what are you doing?
46
00:02:18,989 --> 00:02:22,072
If we don't watch pornography,
she wants to do an escape room.
47
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:23,685
- Oh, sounds like fun.
- Yeah.
48
00:02:24,162 --> 00:02:26,046
You know, other than the fact
that I had to watch it with Leon,
49
00:02:26,048 --> 00:02:28,308
I thought that other little scene
at the end of the movie
50
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:30,649
was not so terrible.
51
00:02:30,953 --> 00:02:31,954
Which scene?
52
00:02:31,956 --> 00:02:35,149
Ya know, the one where they were
acting out their fantasies?
53
00:02:36,035 --> 00:02:39,215
Ooh, ala, Miguel!
54
00:02:39,217 --> 00:02:43,028
Is that something
you'd be interested in exploring?
55
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,037
Maybe.
56
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:46,840
I mean, I've tried to get it going
a couple times.
57
00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:49,259
It just wasn't always
something you wanted to do.
58
00:02:49,261 --> 00:02:52,202
- What, when did you do that?
- Oh, a couple times.
59
00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:53,606
And I didn't wanna do it?
60
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,021
I'll be honest,
that does not sound like me.
61
00:02:56,023 --> 00:02:57,583
I don't think it was something
that you didn't wanna do,
62
00:02:57,585 --> 00:02:59,964
it was just that you kinda
always turn everything into a bit
63
00:02:59,966 --> 00:03:01,235
and then we lose our focus.
64
00:03:01,237 --> 00:03:04,325
I'm not allowed to joke
during these fantasies?
65
00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:06,773
There's a difference between
having fun in the fantasy
66
00:03:06,775 --> 00:03:08,819
and shitting on the fantasy.
67
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,005
Unless shitting is the fantasy.
68
00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:12,039
OK, this was fun.
69
00:03:12,041 --> 00:03:16,301
No, no, no, if this is something
you wanna do, let's do it!
70
00:03:16,303 --> 00:03:18,628
Yeah, alright, when do you wanna do it?
71
00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:24,009
Well, I mean, that hundred and
32 minutes of sensual cinema with Leon
72
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:26,318
left me pretty satisfied sexually.
73
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,072
These are the kinda bits
I'm referring to.
74
00:03:29,074 --> 00:03:31,312
I wish that had been a bit.
75
00:03:32,177 --> 00:03:33,178
Alright.
76
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:37,587
We're gonna fantasize
honestly comin' at you
77
00:03:37,589 --> 00:03:41,741
Get ready Mike,
I'm gonna fantasize with you
78
00:03:48,718 --> 00:03:49,818
Yes!
79
00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:51,166
Four minutes to spare.
80
00:03:51,168 --> 00:03:52,367
That was actually really fast.
81
00:03:52,369 --> 00:03:54,462
I know, once I figured out
the newspaper clippings,
82
00:03:54,464 --> 00:03:56,372
it's just like everything went so fast.
83
00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:58,251
What the fuck was that?
84
00:03:58,253 --> 00:04:02,341
And why was I blindfolded
and handcuffed?
85
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,173
Because it was
the cannibal-hillbilly room.
86
00:04:04,175 --> 00:04:06,142
Right, yes, lovely.
87
00:04:06,144 --> 00:04:10,025
That was fun when we, the thing,
it's like science and the door opened.
88
00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:13,820
Fun like when you're being
sexually assaulted and then it ends.
89
00:04:13,822 --> 00:04:16,226
I'm gonna need a minute.
Can I have some water?
90
00:04:16,228 --> 00:04:18,133
- Yeah, there's some right there.
- Thank you.
91
00:04:18,135 --> 00:04:20,770
Why would you have brought me here?
92
00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:22,664
- I'm sorry.
- Are you?
93
00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:26,751
Oh my God, you jumped so high
when that guy jumped out with the banjo.
94
00:04:26,753 --> 00:04:27,835
You know why?
95
00:04:27,837 --> 00:04:29,534
Because I'm a human being
96
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,816
and we have fight or flight instincts
97
00:04:31,818 --> 00:04:37,047
that are triggered when men jump out
of closets in strange places
98
00:04:37,049 --> 00:04:40,335
in rooms that I thought
I was alone in for 35 minutes.
99
00:04:40,337 --> 00:04:41,625
Let's do another one.
100
00:04:41,627 --> 00:04:43,832
- Will you do another one with me?
- No, I will not.
101
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:44,957
I will never.
102
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:47,407
- Don't give me that face.
- So boring!
103
00:04:47,808 --> 00:04:49,967
You know what the most devastating part
104
00:04:49,969 --> 00:04:51,911
of this horror show actually was?
105
00:04:51,913 --> 00:04:53,118
What?
106
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,522
Remember when we were looking
for decapitated dolls heads
107
00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:58,683
in the garage of the slaughtered family?
108
00:04:58,685 --> 00:05:01,143
You are a sick person.
109
00:05:01,145 --> 00:05:03,672
It wasn't real and they were doll heads.
110
00:05:03,674 --> 00:05:06,534
Anyway, they had all those stacks,
did you see them?
111
00:05:06,536 --> 00:05:08,840
- Of emergency canned foods and water?
- Right.
112
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,529
Yeah, Mike and I have had that
on our to-do list for over a year
113
00:05:11,531 --> 00:05:12,740
and we haven't done jack shit.
114
00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:14,741
So that was a real slap in the face.
115
00:05:14,743 --> 00:05:17,394
I don't want serial killers
being more prepared than I am.
116
00:05:17,396 --> 00:05:18,397
Sorry.
117
00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:21,984
OK, I think I slowed my heart rate
down enough to head to the car.
118
00:05:21,986 --> 00:05:24,246
Oh you wanna just go home? You don't
wanna go get a drink or something?
119
00:05:24,248 --> 00:05:26,747
Happy to do that
but you know you are Jennifer
120
00:05:26,749 --> 00:05:29,154
and there's probably
an Agents of Shield marathon somewhere.
121
00:05:29,156 --> 00:05:31,528
- Just saying.
- Come on, I don't wanna go home yet.
122
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:34,247
- Oh, you don't?
- I've been divorced for a year and a half
123
00:05:34,249 --> 00:05:36,903
and you have to like
find things to fill your time,
124
00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:38,552
like Agents of Shield.
125
00:05:38,554 --> 00:05:40,901
- OK.
- Or drinking on Tuesdays.
126
00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,773
You know it's after 9:30, right?
127
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:45,939
- Yeah, I get that.
- OK, let's do it.
128
00:05:45,941 --> 00:05:49,939
Let's go to a bar
on a Tuesday night, right?
129
00:05:49,941 --> 00:05:51,774
I fucking see you.
130
00:05:52,532 --> 00:05:53,586
Jesus!
131
00:05:53,588 --> 00:05:55,190
- It's fine.
- Thank you.
132
00:05:58,364 --> 00:05:59,756
Hey, you're still up.
133
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:01,644
Hi, I was starting to think
you didn't escape
134
00:06:01,646 --> 00:06:03,513
and I was gonna have
to raise Amelia alone.
135
00:06:03,515 --> 00:06:05,172
Oh yeah? How'd that look to you?
136
00:06:05,174 --> 00:06:07,522
- Not that bad.
- Finally.
137
00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:08,913
How's Jennifer?
138
00:06:08,915 --> 00:06:12,703
Honestly, she seems likes,
she's like a little manic or something.
139
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:13,706
Manic? How?
140
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:16,182
I don't know,
like she's trying to distract herself.
141
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:19,652
Just hate having to watch
Jennifer struggle like this.
142
00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:23,018
Fucking Scott and his cheating dick.
143
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:27,216
Ya know, I dream about the day
that I bump into fucking Scott.
144
00:06:27,218 --> 00:06:31,161
There's gonna be some event,
a birthday party with the kids.
145
00:06:31,163 --> 00:06:33,176
He'll say, "Hi," and I'll say, "Hi."
146
00:06:33,178 --> 00:06:35,033
And then ya know, he'll go like,
147
00:06:35,035 --> 00:06:37,078
"Oh God, I haven't seen you in so long,
how are you?"
148
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,396
And I will look him in the eyes and say,
149
00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:42,956
"I'm not interested in doing this."
150
00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:45,326
And then I will walk away.
151
00:06:46,296 --> 00:06:47,598
Wow, that's gonna sting.
152
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,732
It's the things I'm not saying.
He will get it.
153
00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:51,776
Scathing.
154
00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:55,788
Ugh, thank you for not putting
your dick in other people.
155
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,293
- It's the least I could do.
- Literally.
156
00:06:58,295 --> 00:06:59,873
Ugh, that feels good.
157
00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,881
I had a rough night, I was handcuffed.
158
00:07:01,883 --> 00:07:04,108
Oh, is that something
that sparks your interest?
159
00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:06,017
I don't know,
I've never really thought about it.
160
00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:08,997
What are your fantasies,
out of curiosity?
161
00:07:08,999 --> 00:07:10,505
Mike.
162
00:07:10,507 --> 00:07:11,508
What?
163
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,941
I don't wanna use
any of my life stock footage.
164
00:07:14,943 --> 00:07:16,107
Stock footage?
165
00:07:16,109 --> 00:07:20,479
You know, the stuff
that I have used for years.
166
00:07:20,935 --> 00:07:22,540
I don't wanna muck it up.
167
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,542
How am I gonna muck it up?
168
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:27,034
There's just certain dialog
that needs to be said
169
00:07:27,036 --> 00:07:28,810
in a very specific way
170
00:07:28,812 --> 00:07:31,767
and I don't wanna make you feel
badly by giving you line readings.
171
00:07:31,769 --> 00:07:32,770
Wow.
172
00:07:32,772 --> 00:07:35,055
Or you need to move your position
173
00:07:35,057 --> 00:07:37,810
or Mike, think about your fantasies, OK?
174
00:07:37,812 --> 00:07:41,478
Imagine me in there
just going off script.
175
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,481
Good point.
176
00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:43,485
- Right?
- Yep.
177
00:07:43,487 --> 00:07:45,380
Let's think of something new between us.
178
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,471
OK.
179
00:07:46,473 --> 00:07:48,856
I'm kinda looking
forward to this actually.
180
00:07:48,858 --> 00:07:51,017
- Me too!
- Let's get this going.
181
00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:52,953
- But not tonight, right?
- It's 12:30.
182
00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:55,242
God, no, we're not animals.
183
00:07:58,209 --> 00:08:00,628
Mom, you're a person
who's been divorced a lot, right?
184
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,571
I'm so glad I came over.
185
00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,975
Just when did you start
feeling like normal again?
186
00:08:04,977 --> 00:08:06,368
Jennifer's having a rough go.
187
00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:09,682
Well, she's gotta start dating again.
Is she dating again?
188
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:14,354
Mom, that is not the only way
to get over something like this.
189
00:08:14,356 --> 00:08:16,119
Well, worked for me twice.
190
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,480
Just kidding.
191
00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:19,458
Not really.
192
00:08:19,785 --> 00:08:21,636
Jesus, no.
193
00:08:21,638 --> 00:08:23,784
It was hard, but then when it got hard,
194
00:08:23,786 --> 00:08:25,642
I just relied on family and friends.
195
00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:27,171
Well, I tried to talk to her
the other night,
196
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,881
but she wanted to battle human
that were trying to eat our flesh.
197
00:08:32,368 --> 00:08:34,893
- Well, just keep doing things with her.
- I'm trying!
198
00:08:34,895 --> 00:08:36,900
And pick a place
where it's easy to talk,
199
00:08:36,902 --> 00:08:38,864
like a flower arranging class.
200
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,819
A flower arranging class?
201
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:44,301
- Have you been to a flower arranging class?
- No, but I imagine.
202
00:08:44,303 --> 00:08:47,987
- What? You imagine what?
- Well I imagine that being nice
203
00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:50,373
and what are you doing
with all these cans?
204
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:53,175
I'm just putting them in the garage
in case of an emergency.
205
00:08:53,177 --> 00:08:55,900
You know you can buy these kits.
Leon bought a great one.
206
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:58,215
It has flares and batteries
and a machete.
207
00:08:58,217 --> 00:09:02,040
It's fun to see Leon holding a machete.
I just wanna say.
208
00:09:02,955 --> 00:09:06,846
If Leon has to cut paths in forests
that have never been foraged before
209
00:09:06,848 --> 00:09:10,462
I'm not sure that's a disaster
you wanna survive.
210
00:09:10,464 --> 00:09:12,222
Well, at least I'm prepared.
211
00:09:12,224 --> 00:09:13,379
Oh you know what you should do.
212
00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:14,911
You should get one of those smoke alarms
213
00:09:14,913 --> 00:09:16,580
where you record your own voice.
214
00:09:16,582 --> 00:09:18,142
Why would anyone wanna do that?
215
00:09:18,144 --> 00:09:20,957
Because a mother's voice
is more like to wake up a child
216
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,603
- than even a regular alarm.
- Not your voice though.
217
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:27,575
Your voice is like the music they play
at a flower arranging class,
218
00:09:27,577 --> 00:09:29,609
it's so soothing.
219
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:33,170
You do know
these chick peas expired in 2014?
220
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,304
Mom, let's be honest.
If there's a real emergency,
221
00:09:35,306 --> 00:09:38,139
I'm just using the jagged lids
to slit my wrists.
222
00:09:38,764 --> 00:09:40,267
This is all for show.
223
00:09:43,193 --> 00:09:44,990
Hey, are these the smoke alarms
your mom was talking about?
224
00:09:44,992 --> 00:09:47,817
Let me see. Oh yeah,
we should get a couple of those.
225
00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:51,227
- OK.
- Oh, look at that family.
226
00:09:51,229 --> 00:09:53,309
They got some stories to tell.
227
00:09:53,311 --> 00:09:55,813
They're awfully calm
for their house being on fire.
228
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:58,223
Yeah, there's a sadness
behind this guy's eyes.
229
00:09:58,225 --> 00:09:59,610
I think he started the fire.
230
00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:00,849
I don't think he did.
231
00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:02,528
Look at the way his shirt's tucked in.
232
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:05,339
- Oh, you're correct.
- That kid is worked up.
233
00:10:05,867 --> 00:10:08,305
I like the couple though,
they look nice.
234
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:10,988
I would wanna be with them
in an emergency.
235
00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:13,595
Yeah, would you trust me
in an emergency?
236
00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:16,165
I don't know.
What kind of emergency ya got?
237
00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:19,104
Ms. Warren, I don't know
how to tell you this but,
238
00:10:19,106 --> 00:10:23,484
there's no way outta this bunker
and help is not on the way.
239
00:10:24,921 --> 00:10:26,187
Oh really?
240
00:10:27,136 --> 00:10:35,136
OK well, then I guess it's just
the two of us alone in the bunker then.
241
00:10:35,985 --> 00:10:38,886
Well I can think of a couple ways
to pass the time, ma'am.
242
00:10:39,869 --> 00:10:42,535
Sorry, the ma'am threw me off.
243
00:10:42,537 --> 00:10:45,450
I'm not making jokes, I promise.
I'm not laughing, I just,
244
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,854
I'm just hot because there's
no windows in the bunker
245
00:10:50,856 --> 00:10:54,146
and I can't get a cross breeze.
246
00:10:54,826 --> 00:10:57,942
And it's making it stuffy.
247
00:10:57,944 --> 00:11:00,049
Maybe you just have on too many clothes.
248
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:04,046
This is the uniform I was issued, so,
249
00:11:04,048 --> 00:11:06,029
I don't really...
250
00:11:06,031 --> 00:11:07,536
What do you have on underneath?
251
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,267
Sorry, do you want
me to make something up
252
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:12,662
or say what you're actually
gonna see in like two seconds?
253
00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:13,742
Either way.
254
00:11:14,172 --> 00:11:15,244
Either way?
255
00:11:15,246 --> 00:11:18,455
Alright, well then,
what I'm wearing underneath
256
00:11:18,457 --> 00:11:23,569
is a lacey bra
257
00:11:24,278 --> 00:11:27,110
and a very small thong.
258
00:11:29,206 --> 00:11:31,406
- I really wanna see that.
- Yeah?
259
00:11:31,408 --> 00:11:35,116
Yeah, so, what do I gotta do
to get you to show me?
260
00:11:35,808 --> 00:11:37,864
I mean, I think you'll have to
261
00:11:38,313 --> 00:11:41,591
show me what it's worth to you,
Lieutenant.
262
00:11:41,593 --> 00:11:46,388
OK sorry, everything I'm saying
is sounding crazy.
263
00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:50,117
- No, it's not.
- Yes it, Mike, yes it.
264
00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:52,072
I don't know why I can't do this!
265
00:11:52,074 --> 00:11:54,608
Honey, don't worry about it.
It's not a big deal.
266
00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:58,644
I know it's not a big deal but I am,
I feel like it's weird.
267
00:11:58,646 --> 00:12:00,974
This seems like something I would crush!
268
00:12:00,976 --> 00:12:03,278
Maybe we finally found
your Achilles heel.
269
00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:06,937
I always knew it was gonna be my vagina.
270
00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:09,099
- Didn't you?
- Yep.
271
00:12:11,354 --> 00:12:14,866
Don't you think it's strange though
that I can't role play?
272
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,104
Doesn't that seem like
something I would excel at?
273
00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:18,405
No!
274
00:12:18,407 --> 00:12:19,721
Wow!
275
00:12:20,645 --> 00:12:24,393
Well, I'm sorry but you're
obviously uncomfortable
276
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:27,975
and when you, Andrew, are uncomfortable,
then you make jokes.
277
00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:31,069
OK, how can anybody earnestly pretend
278
00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:35,113
to fuck in a bunker
without sounding crazy?
279
00:12:35,115 --> 00:12:38,620
Obviously I think there is some
suspension of disbelief involved.
280
00:12:38,622 --> 00:12:41,832
So much suspension, come on!
281
00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:45,225
You know, Mike is oddly good at it.
It's annoying.
282
00:12:45,227 --> 00:12:48,539
He's able to just
focus in and not laugh.
283
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:50,410
- That makes sense to me.
- What?!
284
00:12:50,412 --> 00:12:53,557
Well, he's always been
more comfortable being vulnerable
285
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,098
than ya know, this debacle.
286
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,584
I mean, I'm not gonna argue with you
about it but...
287
00:12:58,586 --> 00:13:00,938
I think you just have to do
the uncomfortable part.
288
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,065
You have to be like,
I'm not comfortable with this.
289
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:06,698
I'm gonna do it anyway
and just dive and have ya know,
290
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:09,513
bunker scientist sex with your husband.
291
00:13:09,515 --> 00:13:12,587
Wait, you think
we were supposed to be scientists?
292
00:13:12,589 --> 00:13:14,457
I feel like if I had known that,
293
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:17,018
I could've found a way
into my role, right?
294
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:20,882
Yeah, I feel like incision back-story
was definitely your problem.
295
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,783
- Thank you for acknowledging that.
- You're welcome.
296
00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:27,285
I mean, otherwise,
how am I supposed to know who I am?
297
00:13:28,259 --> 00:13:30,739
- So how was your week?
- It's fine.
298
00:13:30,741 --> 00:13:31,978
- Yeah?
- Yep.
299
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:34,274
- Scott's got the boys all weekend?
- Yeah.
300
00:13:34,759 --> 00:13:36,590
How are things going with you guys?
301
00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:39,580
I don't wanna talk about it.
Just boring and...
302
00:13:39,582 --> 00:13:41,437
- OK!
- So where are we going?
303
00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:45,107
Again, don't be afraid
to put two flowers
304
00:13:45,109 --> 00:13:46,770
next to each other
that you wouldn't expect.
305
00:13:46,772 --> 00:13:48,482
Like a dahlia and a daisy.
306
00:13:48,484 --> 00:13:51,481
Give yourself permission
to really push the boundaries.
307
00:13:52,536 --> 00:13:55,280
Listen, you picked this, alright?
Go back to your own vase.
308
00:13:55,282 --> 00:13:58,046
OK, but I've been given permission
to push the boundaries.
309
00:13:58,048 --> 00:14:00,643
Hold onto your tits,
I'm going heavy with the sprigs.
310
00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:03,070
All sprigs all day.
311
00:14:03,072 --> 00:14:04,622
Jesus Christ.
312
00:14:06,044 --> 00:14:08,825
I just feel like this is like,
doesn't look good.
313
00:14:09,211 --> 00:14:11,451
Are you using the black eyes Susans or?
314
00:14:11,453 --> 00:14:13,292
I don't know.
315
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,929
By the way, black eyed Susan,
316
00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:18,415
not a terrible name
for future fantasy play.
317
00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:21,547
I'll just be a woman name Susan
who's been punched in the face twice.
318
00:14:21,859 --> 00:14:23,729
Let Mike be earnest with that.
319
00:14:24,251 --> 00:14:25,444
Damn it.
320
00:14:25,774 --> 00:14:26,792
I think that's good.
321
00:14:26,794 --> 00:14:29,131
It's missing something,
I don't know what it's missing.
322
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,134
Look at mine.
323
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:33,090
Mine looks like a middle of a Timelines
video about life and death.
324
00:14:35,488 --> 00:14:37,200
OK ya know what, let's get up.
325
00:14:45,122 --> 00:14:47,956
OK, I'm OK, I'm OK.
326
00:14:48,376 --> 00:14:50,318
You just burst out crying
327
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,552
because your practice flower arrangement
was too crowded.
328
00:14:53,554 --> 00:14:56,496
You're not 100%.
329
00:14:56,498 --> 00:14:59,332
I'm just really starting to get scared,
330
00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:03,431
like I'm ya know, like
Scott is dating again
331
00:15:03,433 --> 00:15:06,596
and I feel like I've grieved,
but I'm just stuck.
332
00:15:06,598 --> 00:15:09,085
Like why can't I move past this?
333
00:15:09,087 --> 00:15:12,270
Because you just haven't yet.
You need more time.
334
00:15:12,272 --> 00:15:14,336
What if I never get over this?
335
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:17,211
Then I'll stop hanging out with you.
336
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,431
OK, that's fair.
337
00:15:21,373 --> 00:15:22,481
Oh God.
338
00:15:22,483 --> 00:15:24,990
You know that I am constantly
dreaming about the day
339
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:28,336
I get to tell off your dick blister
of an ex-husband.
340
00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:30,396
That's sweet, thank you.
341
00:15:30,398 --> 00:15:33,723
Well, I'm not vulnerable for shit,
but I'm sweet as fuck.
342
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,838
Yeah.
343
00:15:38,489 --> 00:15:40,104
- I know I'm gonna be fine.
- Of course!
344
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,067
Ya know, I'm gonna date again
and have sex
345
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,930
and have a normal life and everything.
346
00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:50,828
When is the last time you had sex?
347
00:15:51,573 --> 00:15:52,931
Not since Scott.
348
00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:56,369
- 18 months ago?
- I know.
349
00:15:56,715 --> 00:16:00,884
Well let me apologize for bringing you
to a flower arranging class.
350
00:16:00,886 --> 00:16:04,869
All those dewey petals
and swollen stamens
351
00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:07,791
must have been hard
for you to be around.
352
00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:09,835
Do you wanna have sex
with these flowers?
353
00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:12,616
I mean, if you're not,
I'd bang a dahlia.
354
00:16:16,804 --> 00:16:17,914
Wow!
355
00:16:17,916 --> 00:16:20,173
Were you impressed by the way
I just effortlessly installed
356
00:16:20,175 --> 00:16:21,497
our new smoke alarm.
357
00:16:21,499 --> 00:16:24,147
My mom did something similar
in her house, so once again,
358
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,671
ya know, the similarities between
you and my mother are striking.
359
00:16:27,673 --> 00:16:29,398
Oh, thank you.
360
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,102
You know what, you're welcome!
361
00:16:31,104 --> 00:16:33,353
That's great! I am excited now.
362
00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:34,590
Thank you for doing that.
363
00:16:34,592 --> 00:16:37,175
- What time is Jennifer picking you up?
- 20 minutes?
364
00:16:37,177 --> 00:16:39,529
Aren't you exhausted going out so much?
365
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,297
Yes, I'm so tired.
366
00:16:41,299 --> 00:16:43,705
But at least this is
the cooking class that I love.
367
00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:45,437
Oh, then I'll be getting
something out of it.
368
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,093
By the way, I just recently
found out that Jennifer
369
00:16:48,095 --> 00:16:51,764
has not had sex
in almost a year and a half.
370
00:16:51,766 --> 00:16:53,011
- Jesus.
- I know!
371
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,286
I think I'm gonna get her a vibrator
for her birthday.
372
00:16:55,288 --> 00:16:57,323
You are? Why?
373
00:16:57,325 --> 00:16:58,852
Because they're awesome.
374
00:16:58,854 --> 00:17:01,987
Wait, do you have a vibrator?
375
00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:03,350
Of course!
376
00:17:03,352 --> 00:17:04,639
Really?
377
00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:07,429
- Yes! You know that!
- No I didn't.
378
00:17:07,431 --> 00:17:10,436
How often do you use your vibrator?
379
00:17:10,438 --> 00:17:13,177
Whenever the mood strikes.
380
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:15,286
Although recently,
I've had to engage in more
381
00:17:15,828 --> 00:17:18,572
traditional, labor intensive methods.
382
00:17:18,574 --> 00:17:19,965
What does that mean?
383
00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:22,464
Just ya know, vibrators can kinda
384
00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:25,228
desensitize things
and make it harder for me
385
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:29,000
to enjoy the fruits of your loins.
386
00:17:29,002 --> 00:17:30,645
Well, that doesn't sound great.
387
00:17:30,647 --> 00:17:32,882
I know, that's why I stopped,
which sucks,
388
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:35,017
because I'm a very lazy masturbator.
389
00:17:35,019 --> 00:17:36,866
OK, good to know.
390
00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:41,082
I mean, this was not like
an easy decision to come to, Mike,
391
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:45,239
I mean, keep using my vibrator
or have better sex with my husband.
392
00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:47,119
It was a real Sophie's choice.
393
00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:50,367
And by Sophie, I obviously mean
Amelia's friend Sophie,
394
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,799
'cause she's the only one
I can really go to for stuff like this.
395
00:17:52,801 --> 00:17:55,746
- Ugh.
- What, you want me to go to Izzy?
396
00:17:55,748 --> 00:17:58,281
Please, that girl has never orgasmed.
397
00:17:58,283 --> 00:17:59,731
Are you proud of yourself?
398
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,072
Not really.
399
00:18:02,074 --> 00:18:04,211
I don't know why this stuff
pops in my head.
400
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:05,257
But it does.
401
00:18:12,038 --> 00:18:14,305
- Everything smells so amazing.
- My God, I know.
402
00:18:14,307 --> 00:18:16,285
- I love Mediterranean food.
- I know.
403
00:18:16,287 --> 00:18:18,143
I do have to say though,
I'm not super pleased
404
00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:21,767
with the fact that this class is called
The Empire Strikes Baklava.
405
00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:23,960
Would you have preferred Fetacals Hall?
406
00:18:23,962 --> 00:18:26,088
Or I'm gonna get Moussacha?
407
00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:28,405
I am very good at this.
408
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,252
OK great, now while we're waiting
for the dolma's filling to simmer,
409
00:18:31,254 --> 00:18:32,848
we're gonna go ahead
and mince the garlic
410
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:34,748
and chop the mint for the lamb rub.
411
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:36,707
I feel like
there's an ice pick for the mint.
412
00:18:36,709 --> 00:18:39,275
- Shrivel it up.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
413
00:18:40,808 --> 00:18:42,045
What are you doing?
414
00:18:42,047 --> 00:18:44,006
- Nothing.
- Who are you What's Apping?
415
00:18:44,712 --> 00:18:46,154
I'm not Mellie.
416
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,764
- Let me see your phone.
- No!
417
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:50,358
Give me your phone.
418
00:18:51,915 --> 00:18:53,915
Why are you What's Apping Bob?
419
00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:57,806
I don't know, no reason.
Just give me my phone back.
420
00:18:58,418 --> 00:18:59,922
Are you fucking Bob?
421
00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:04,683
- Of course not.
- What is this then?
422
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,835
Why did he write,
"Thinking of you, heart heart heart?"
423
00:19:06,837 --> 00:19:10,306
I don't know,
because maybe I was telling him
424
00:19:10,308 --> 00:19:12,330
that we've been having
some problems lately.
425
00:19:12,332 --> 00:19:14,748
You told Bob our personal business?
426
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:17,979
- He's our biggest client!
- We were just chatting.
427
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,469
You were having conversations
at 2:30 in the morning?
428
00:19:21,471 --> 00:19:23,105
Why would you need to be chatting then?
429
00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:25,189
My God, because she's fucking Bob!
430
00:19:26,163 --> 00:19:29,563
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me. I don't know you.
431
00:19:29,565 --> 00:19:33,196
I know you
and she's obviously fucking Bob.
432
00:19:33,198 --> 00:19:36,659
My ex husband fucked a Bob,
so I'm like, ya know,
433
00:19:36,661 --> 00:19:40,044
well versed in Bob fuckers.
434
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:44,523
Honey, I promise
I did not have sex with Bob.
435
00:19:44,525 --> 00:19:47,213
Yes, ya did. Yeah, ya did.
436
00:19:47,215 --> 00:19:49,868
And he's your biggest client too.
437
00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:52,666
OK ya know know what,
let's go, we're leaving.
438
00:19:52,668 --> 00:19:55,245
Wait, I'm sorry. What's your name?
439
00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:56,845
Jeff.
440
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,417
Jeff, that's a good name.
441
00:19:59,419 --> 00:20:04,871
So Jeff, that is my number,
442
00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:09,245
and just so you know,
I'm gonna fuck the shit outta Jeff.
443
00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:10,810
So...
444
00:20:15,968 --> 00:20:17,318
Oh my God.
445
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,712
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, yeah.
446
00:20:20,237 --> 00:20:22,740
I feel really good. I feel really good.
447
00:20:24,345 --> 00:20:27,508
I've never been more attracted to you
than I am right now.
448
00:20:30,993 --> 00:20:33,845
Then she gave him her number and said
449
00:20:33,847 --> 00:20:37,162
she was going to fuck
the shit out of him.
450
00:20:37,164 --> 00:20:39,043
OK, including the birth of our child,
451
00:20:39,045 --> 00:20:40,786
is this the happiest you've ever been?
452
00:20:40,788 --> 00:20:43,900
Yes, I wanna say it's close
but it is not.
453
00:20:43,902 --> 00:20:46,941
- I can't even imagine Jennifer doing that.
- I know.
454
00:20:46,943 --> 00:20:48,935
I think this is maybe
what she needed all along,
455
00:20:48,937 --> 00:20:50,747
just to yell at an asshole.
456
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,806
You think she's actually
gonna have sex with Jeff?
457
00:20:52,808 --> 00:20:54,406
I don't know, maybe.
458
00:20:54,408 --> 00:20:56,774
I will say I don't think
this is the first time
459
00:20:56,776 --> 00:20:59,853
this particular couple's
had this conversation.
460
00:20:59,855 --> 00:21:01,275
But do you think it's the
first time it ever happened
461
00:21:01,277 --> 00:21:02,987
with their biggest client?
462
00:21:02,989 --> 00:21:04,796
Oh Bob? 100%.
463
00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:06,772
What kinda client do you think Bob is?
464
00:21:06,774 --> 00:21:09,506
I imagine Bob owns
commercial real estate
465
00:21:09,508 --> 00:21:12,227
and has a lot of sex on filing cabinets.
466
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,050
- I could see that.
- Right?
467
00:21:14,052 --> 00:21:15,315
I mean ya know,
468
00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:20,367
you're working such late hours
around so many available,
469
00:21:20,992 --> 00:21:22,886
willing women...
470
00:21:22,888 --> 00:21:26,246
- Uh, yeah.
- It just seems to make sense.
471
00:21:26,248 --> 00:21:27,512
Does it now?
472
00:21:27,514 --> 00:21:31,287
I hope you don't find
this unprofessional, Bob,
473
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:36,590
but I'm very happy that we are
finally alone in the office together
474
00:21:36,592 --> 00:21:40,755
and what are the odds
that it would happen during a blackout?
475
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,261
Really?
476
00:21:42,263 --> 00:21:45,798
Is now a good time
or do you need me to come back later?
477
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,853
- Well let me check my schedule.
- OK.
478
00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:50,645
- Yeah, I'm available.
- Oh, you're available?
479
00:21:50,647 --> 00:21:52,080
Great, so...
480
00:21:52,082 --> 00:21:54,754
You know,
I've always wanted to see you naked
481
00:21:54,756 --> 00:21:57,095
every since your first interview here.
482
00:21:57,097 --> 00:21:58,608
- Really?
- Yeah.
483
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:02,641
Well, how to do you propose
we achieve that goal?
484
00:22:02,643 --> 00:22:04,468
Oh, you feel that breeze?
485
00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:07,086
- Oh my gosh.
- What happened?
486
00:22:07,088 --> 00:22:10,543
The candles burned out, so...
487
00:22:10,545 --> 00:22:13,662
Oh God, I can't see anything now.
488
00:22:13,664 --> 00:22:17,639
I think we should probably just
feel our way to each other now.
489
00:22:17,641 --> 00:22:19,447
- Oh, alright.
- What do you think?
490
00:22:19,449 --> 00:22:21,551
I guess that's our only choice.
491
00:22:21,553 --> 00:22:22,553
Oh, hello.
492
00:22:23,029 --> 00:22:25,296
You really have been
waiting a while, Bob.
493
00:22:27,345 --> 00:22:30,577
I feel like we gotta
make up for lost time.
494
00:22:32,123 --> 00:22:33,377
That's a good idea.
495
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,066
- What's happening?
- Shit!
496
00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:40,406
Get up, the house is on fire.
497
00:22:40,408 --> 00:22:41,983
It's the alarm.
498
00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:45,216
Ah, why is it so loud?
499
00:22:45,542 --> 00:22:47,559
Oh my God, pull the battery out!
500
00:22:47,561 --> 00:22:49,683
- I'm trying.
- I hate this.
501
00:22:50,892 --> 00:22:51,892
Got it.
502
00:22:53,851 --> 00:22:59,926
OK, that could not be blamed on me.
503
00:23:00,590 --> 00:23:05,950
I did record my voice
but I did that a few days ago.
504
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:09,510
Yeah just,
I'm gonna just need a minute here.
505
00:23:09,512 --> 00:23:10,512
I get it.
506
00:23:13,039 --> 00:23:16,409
I know now is not the right time but,
507
00:23:17,510 --> 00:23:20,831
comedy wise,
this really could not have gone better.
508
00:23:22,070 --> 00:23:25,204
I'm not sure my biggest client
would agree with you.
509
00:23:25,949 --> 00:23:27,619
Is your biggest client your dick?
510
00:23:28,321 --> 00:23:29,681
- Mmhmm.
- Got it.
511
00:23:32,315 --> 00:23:35,515
Mommy is amazing. I love her so much!
512
00:23:35,517 --> 00:23:37,498
Must be nice to have such cool songs
written about you.
513
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:38,501
Yeah, it is.
514
00:23:38,503 --> 00:23:41,078
Although it just reminds me
I have nowhere to go but down.
515
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,700
This is the most
she's ever going to love me.
516
00:23:43,702 --> 00:23:45,427
- Probably.
- Right?
517
00:23:45,429 --> 00:23:47,321
Mommy, can we get some strawberries?
518
00:23:47,323 --> 00:23:48,963
Yeah, you know where they are.
Go grab em.
519
00:23:50,742 --> 00:23:52,968
Holy shit, that's Scott.
520
00:23:52,970 --> 00:23:53,971
Who?
521
00:23:53,973 --> 00:23:56,076
Scott, Jennifer's Scott.
He's right there.
522
00:23:56,078 --> 00:23:57,158
Oh yeah, there he is.
523
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,478
Ya know what,
I think this might be my moment.
524
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,817
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean,
525
00:24:01,819 --> 00:24:04,483
- how long have I been thinking...
- Andrea, Mike...
526
00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:08,075
- Scott, hi, how are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
527
00:24:08,077 --> 00:24:09,731
Good, so good!
528
00:24:09,733 --> 00:24:12,338
Good, I'd love to catch up but I'm
running late to pick up the boys.
529
00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:14,535
- Of course, tell them I say hello.
- I will.
530
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,654
- OK good!
- OK.
531
00:24:15,656 --> 00:24:17,399
- OK bye!
- Bye!
532
00:24:17,401 --> 00:24:20,618
- So good to see you. You look great.
- Thanks.
533
00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:26,184
Well, he's gonna reflect on that
for a while.
534
00:24:26,718 --> 00:24:27,718
Mmhmm.
535
00:24:28,706 --> 00:24:31,514
Why did I say he looked effing great?
536
00:24:31,516 --> 00:24:32,980
God damn it!
537
00:24:33,030 --> 00:24:37,580
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