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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,700
How can you do this to me, Clem?
Have a stupid dinner party
2
00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:06,963
instead of an out of control
bachelorette party?
3
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:11,141
Is it because you hate me?
[gasps] You hate me.
4
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,276
Come on, Ben, it'll be fun.
5
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,017
We'll have hors d'oeuvres,
some wine,
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,583
play charades.
7
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,976
Charades?
Terrific. Okay.
8
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,544
Two words. First word:
I want to kill myself.
9
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:27,027
I'm sorry, Ben,
10
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,159
but I've had my partying
days, and I'm over it.
11
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:31,292
I don't need some
big shindig.
12
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:34,208
"Shindig"?
13
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,340
My God. What's happened
to my old friend Clem?
14
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,951
Oh, I know. She turned
into my old friend Clem.
15
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:44,000
Let it go, dude.
Fun Clem is gone, but, hey, man,
16
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,568
I'm around if you ever want
to hit up some bars in Newark
17
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:49,092
that accept my Canadian I.D.
18
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,008
Oh, honey,
I don't do Jersey.
19
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:57,448
Hey, everybody.Hey, sweetie.
20
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,754
How's it going, Ben?
21
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,582
I'd be better if your girl
was letting me
22
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,105
throw her an actual
bachelorette party.
23
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,673
Wait, isn't your bachelor party
tomorrow night, too?
24
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:08,503
Yeah, that way we only have to
spend one night apart.
25
00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:10,635
Ugh.
26
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:12,420
Please tell me you're
having a blowout.
27
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:15,379
Oh, yeah. Going out to get
some big, fat, juicy steaks
28
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:16,946
with my dad
and my best man, Spence.
29
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,775
A-And then you're going
to your bachelor party?
30
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,865
That is his
bachelor party.
31
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:25,868
Oh, girl. Now I know
what happened to you. Him.
32
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,218
Me? What did I do?
33
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:30,090
You're a bad influence
on my Clemmy.
34
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,656
How am I a bad influence?
35
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,224
I barely drink, I've never
smoked, I don't do drugs.
36
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:37,314
Exactly. You sound like a
personal ad on Christian Mingle.
37
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,492
This girl used to be
so much fun.
38
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,451
And I'm not saying
it's all because of you, Nick,
39
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,975
but the fun ended
immediately when you began.
40
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:49,892
Ben, you are out of your mind.
I pride myself on being fun.
41
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,937
And not just at home,
ask any of my students.
42
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:54,288
I am the funnest
World Literature professor
43
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,551
at NYU, okay?
44
00:01:56,594 --> 00:02:00,816
And that proves what? I'm sorry,
I just nodded off for a second.
45
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,949
Nick doesn't have
to prove anything.
46
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,996
We have all kinds of fun.
47
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,955
In fact, tonight
we're going to check out
48
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,653
the open house
at Shannon's school,
49
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,569
and after, we're gonna pop by
Ruby Tuesday's for the...
50
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,920
BOTH:
Peanut Butter Dream Bar.
51
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:22,664
Clem, blink twice if you're here
against your will.
52
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,494
♪
53
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,200
Hey, Shannon, I met
five of your teachers,
54
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,768
and only one of them
knows who you are.
55
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:44,120
And FYI, not a fan.
56
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,297
SHANNON: Oh, God,
here comes Evan.
57
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:50,126
All right, be prepared
to rescue me.
58
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,041
Oh, hey, Shannon.
59
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:56,524
Hey, Evan, look,
I'm really not... Oh.
60
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,962
Just let us know when you're
ready for us to jump in.
61
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:03,487
What the hell was that? Usually
I can't get rid of that kid.
62
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,794
Looks like Evan's
got a girlfriend.
63
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:08,100
What? Girlfriend?
64
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,972
No, no, no, no, no.
65
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,844
No, the popular girls must've
dared her to talk to him.
66
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,194
And hold his hand.
67
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,154
And kiss him.
68
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,289
Wow, she will do anything
to fit in. [laughs]
69
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,121
I thought your sister
couldn't stand Evan?
70
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:32,124
Oh, she can't, but now that
he's got a girlfriend,
71
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,344
he's instantly
attractive to her.
72
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,259
Man, if I could go back
to high school
73
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:39,697
knowing what I know now,
things would be so different.
74
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:41,960
Would you still
be in Magic Club?
75
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:44,441
Yes.
76
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,010
So I guess
not that different.
77
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:50,752
I'm gonna talk shop
with the English department.
78
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,449
Okay.
79
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:56,018
Oh, hello!
Hi, I'm Felicia, Sam's mom.
80
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,499
Clem Barnes.Oh, you must be Shannon's mom.
81
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,197
Oh, no, no, no. [chuckles]
I'm her sister.
82
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,286
Her "not that
much older" sister.
83
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,810
Malinda,
come meet Clem.
84
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,334
Wait, are you Shannon's mom?
85
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:10,380
Sister!
I'm her sister.
86
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:11,947
Well, it's nice of you to spend
87
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,383
your Friday night
at Shannon's school.
88
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,342
When I was your age,
I would've been out clubbing.
89
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:18,867
[laughs] Yeah,
when I was my age,
90
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,348
I would've been
out clubbing, too.
91
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,306
Hey, Shannon, I was
just talking about you
92
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,221
with your English teacher
Mr. Rudner.
93
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,615
Oh, he's my
favorite teacher.
94
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,661
Okay, go ahead,
tell him how I'm doing.
95
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,837
Not well.
96
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:36,493
I think you mean,
"not good."
97
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:43,239
I love teaching, but some
students are a challenge.
98
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,023
Yeah, I know.
I'm also a teacher.
99
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,242
I'm over at NYU.
100
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,810
Oh! I'd love to get
to the big leagues.
101
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,160
I had to take a second job
just to get by,
102
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,597
and I'm the most popular
teacher here.
103
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,382
I've got five stars
on RateMyTeacher.
104
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,645
RateMyTeacher? I don't know it.
105
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,081
Oh, it's a rating site
high school kids use.
106
00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:01,997
College students, too.
You should check yourself out.
107
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,564
Yeah, I really
don't need a website
108
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,131
to tell me how I'm doing.
I get enough feedback every day
109
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:09,091
just looking at the smiles on
my students' faces. [chuckles]
110
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,701
What's the website again?
111
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,312
RateMyTeacher.
112
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,922
Yeah, I'm not gonna
look at that.
113
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,533
Is that a dot com
or dot org situation?
114
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:21,190
It was so weird being
around all those parents
115
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,931
at Shannon's school.
116
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,541
What's weird is this is
a bachelorette party,
117
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,152
and the only phallic thing here
are these artisanal pickles.
118
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:31,766
And they're so tiny.
119
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:35,204
Oh, and did I tell you
that I joined the PTA?
120
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:38,642
Which is crazy
because I am not a "P."
121
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:41,253
But you do got
the "T" and "A."
122
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,169
CLEM:
Hey, Shannon.
123
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,824
Are you excited to go to your
first ever bachelorette party?
124
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,783
What bachelorette party?
125
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,262
Dude, you just got
some tiny pickles
126
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:51,786
and are playing charades.
127
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,396
[knocking on door]
128
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:59,010
Oh, hi. Sorry. I thought
this was Evan's place.
129
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,447
No. He lives across the hall.
130
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,013
Oh, that's funny,
I must've had the wrong...
131
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,280
Meow!
132
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:12,067
Yo, Ben, you don't
think I'm fun?
133
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,069
Look at what my students
are saying about me
134
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,506
on RateMyTeacher.
135
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:20,118
"Professor Stewart
makes learning fun.
136
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,511
Five stars."
137
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:25,907
"Most fun I've ever had
in class. Five stars."
138
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,996
"Fun and kind of a babe.
139
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,215
Five stars and
a chili pepper emoji."
140
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,913
BEN:
Oh, here's one.
141
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:34,263
"Professor Stewart
is a total bore. One star."
142
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,875
I thought you couldn't trust
anything on the Internet.
143
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,747
Wait, what? I am not boring.
144
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,793
RaisinBran99?
What-What's this kid's problem?
145
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:46,580
Sweetie, it's just one bad
review out of 1,000 great ones.
146
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,320
Wh-Why would he say that?I know why.
147
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,018
Because you're boring.
148
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,978
Don't let it bother
you, Nick. I mean,
149
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,284
I'm not bothered
by the fact that
150
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,112
all the women
at Shannon's school
151
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,896
thought that I was her mother,
152
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:03,553
even though it would basically
be biologically impossible.
153
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:08,384
But you go have fun
at your party, babe.
154
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,386
All right, you, too.
Love you.
155
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,955
Are you actually reading
They Came to Talk?
156
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,131
Who's "they"?
They sound horrible.
157
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:20,091
Oh, yeah, that's
the other thing.
158
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:22,354
Those ladies I met made me join
what they called
159
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:25,053
"The Fun Moms Book Club."
160
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:27,359
"Fun Moms Book Club"?
161
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:30,493
Each word more chilling
than the last.
162
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,975
What is happening?
I'm 27 years old,
163
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:37,761
and I'm talking about
the book club and the PTA,
164
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,894
and I'm wearing an apron!
165
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,506
What am I doing, Ben?
166
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,421
You're dying is what
you're doing. Dying.
167
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,598
And look at all this.
168
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,905
I mean, I've turned
my bachelorette party
169
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,081
into a snooze fest.
170
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:56,998
Well, that's it.
The snooze fest is off.
171
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,652
What are you saying?
172
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:03,352
I am saying that
the boozefest is on!
173
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,136
[both screaming]
174
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,190
[salsa music playing]
175
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,365
All right, I'm here.
176
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:19,150
Finally. What
took so long?
177
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,152
The erotic bakery
was closed,
178
00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:24,242
so I had to improvise
at the supermarket.
179
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,244
I don't think
anyone's gonna notice.
180
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,944
Holy moly!
181
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:32,903
I know, right? They took
a kids' baseball bat cake
182
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:35,210
and turned it into this.
183
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:37,734
And those are...?
184
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:40,563
Two Pikachus.
Oh...
185
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,565
That's why they have eyes.
186
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,437
[knocking on door]
187
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:48,136
Ooh! Our first partier
has arrived!
188
00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:51,008
Hello-- Oh!
189
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,662
Rose, hi.
190
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,622
I brought my famous ambrosia
salad. You can't come
191
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:58,059
to a dinner party empty-handed.
192
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:03,325
Hello, Ben.
Rose!
193
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,501
What the hell
194
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,286
is your future
mother-in-law doing here?
195
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,985
I forgot that she was
on the invite list
196
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,335
for the dinner party.
What am I gonna do?
197
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,163
She's gonna freak out
if she sees the cake.
198
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,295
Well, hello.
199
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,171
It's a baseball bat.
200
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,912
Mm-hmm.
201
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:28,176
And the little yellow
things with eyes?
202
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:31,135
Those are testicles.
203
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,270
I'm sorry, Rose.
204
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:38,186
We just decided to switch the
party a couple of hours ago.
205
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,231
And you forgot to call me.
206
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,277
I know. It's my fault,
completely.
207
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,932
And if you want to go,
I totally understand,
208
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:47,761
'cause this party's gonna
get a little crazy.
209
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,066
It is?
210
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,285
Yeah.
211
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:53,505
Thank the Lord!
212
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:54,942
What?
213
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,248
For the life of me,
I could not understand
214
00:09:57,292 --> 00:10:00,295
why you were gonna have
some boring dinner party.
215
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,429
But now that I see this...
216
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:12,263
I say, Ben, make Mama
a big ole margarita.
217
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,355
God, I wish Nick
had a gay brother
218
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,836
so I could marry
into this family.
219
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,275
Found him, Mr. B!
220
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,581
'Sup?
221
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,672
Shannon, hey.
Uh, what are you doing here?
222
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,152
Just thought maybe you could
tutor me in math,
223
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,370
like you always do.
224
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,111
I don't tutor you in math.
225
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,070
I do your math homework.
226
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,289
Oh, my God, is that Beth?
227
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:41,162
Hi, Beth, I didn't know
you were here.
228
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,642
Yes, you did.
229
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,948
You shut the door in
my face an hour ago.
230
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,776
So, what are we doing?
231
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,039
We were about to
play Mario Kart.
232
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:52,390
Yeah, but unfortunately, we only
have two controllers, so...
233
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,741
All right, I'll stay.
234
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:01,617
Whoa. Beth, did you create
your own character?
235
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,010
That looks exactly like you.
236
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:06,535
That's Donkey Kong.
237
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,406
That's Donkey Kong?
238
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,715
Whoa, twinsies.
239
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,153
To Nick, huh?
240
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,807
Yeah, Nick.
Ha-ha-ha. Yeah.
241
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,201
Mm.
242
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,682
You okay, son?
243
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,335
I know getting married
is a big step...
244
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:27,861
Who the hell is RaisinBran99?
245
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,993
[stammers]
246
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,039
And why would he say I'm boring?
I need to know.
247
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:33,823
Oh, my God, are
you still on this?
248
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,129
Come on, man.
Tonight's all about
249
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,696
having fun
with your boys.
250
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,350
Or in this case, your
boy, and your dad.
251
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,136
You know what?
You're right. My bad.
252
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,920
I got to put this whole thing
out of my mind,
253
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,095
have a good time.
254
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,270
Hell yes.
Yeah.
255
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,055
Whiskey shots for...
256
00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,665
Brandon Gilbert.
257
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,232
Who is Brandon Gilbert?Brandon Gilbert?
258
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:54,061
Is RaisinBran99.
It's got to be Brandon Gilbert.
259
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,671
He's always eating raisins
during my lecture.
260
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,281
It drives me nuts.
261
00:11:57,325 --> 00:12:00,023
I won't be able to enjoy myself
until I set that kid straight.
262
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,373
You sound crazy. Walt,
tell him he sounds crazy.
263
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:07,117
I say we find Raisin Boy
right now, and take him down.
264
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,817
[laughs]
Yeah.
265
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,123
[people whooping]
266
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,778
[laughs]
267
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,475
Ooh! Baby,
268
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,783
I am so sorry.
I never should have said
269
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,351
I did that thing with Walt.
270
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:28,965
Baby, if you're gonna play Truth
or Dare, you've got to play it.
271
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,488
And you played it.
272
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,708
[laughs]
273
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,970
Mm.
Mm.
274
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,842
[exhales]
[laughs] You know,
275
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,626
Rose, I never thought
in a million years
276
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:39,715
that I'd be able to, you know.
277
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,326
What? Party with me?
278
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,806
No. No, no, no. Not at all.
279
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,677
I never thought
that I'd be able to...
280
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,201
Oh, right. Yes, party with you.
281
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,463
[both laugh]
282
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:51,205
Well, Clem,
I know that when you look at me,
283
00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:53,598
you see a woman
who is totally put together,
284
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:57,559
full of confidence,
never makes a mistake.
285
00:12:57,602 --> 00:13:01,041
And all that is true.
286
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:04,000
But there's a different side
to Rose.
287
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:09,005
And I like to call her
Ms. Fantastic.
288
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:12,226
Just got off the phone, the
stripper's coming in an hour.
289
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,924
Stripper?
290
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,447
No, we-we don't want a
stripper, do we, Rose?
291
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:19,842
Oh, Rose does not.
292
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,584
But Ms. Fantastic?
293
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:25,717
She didn't come here
for the chips, baby.
294
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:29,852
What the hell are we watching?
295
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,855
Only the greatest episode
of Black Mirrorever.
296
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:35,292
Yeah, this one's an allegory
about life that makes you
297
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:38,861
question both our reality
and what it means to exist.
298
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:43,257
Hey, how about, instead,
we watch Floribama Shore?
299
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,694
It's an allegory
about trying to get laid
300
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:48,218
on the Floribama Shore.
301
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:53,049
I'll be right back. I'm
gonna go to the bathroom.
302
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,486
Don't forget
to light a match.
303
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:58,054
That's not what I'm doing.
304
00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:59,882
What are you doing here?
305
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,405
You never come over,
306
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:03,712
then I have a girlfriend,
and suddenly, here you are.
307
00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,889
I just don't like
that you're with her, okay?
308
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,065
It makes me feel weird,
and I don't know why.
309
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,721
But I do know this:
310
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:15,463
she's not the right girl
for you.
311
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,900
So...
312
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:21,077
who is the right
girl for me?
313
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:24,167
I don't know.
314
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,083
What are you guys
talking about?
315
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:29,129
Dinosaurs.
You.
316
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:36,745
Well, well, well.
317
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:40,792
[all shushing]
318
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:44,013
[whispering]:
Well, well, well.
319
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,929
Professor Stewart.
What are you doing here?
320
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,496
I saw on Facebook you
were here, Brandon.
321
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,500
Or should I call you
RaisinBran99?
322
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,937
Oh, no.
323
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,634
I am not boring.
324
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:59,942
And I'm not gonna let your dumb
review ruin my bachelor party.
325
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,944
Wait. This is
your bachelor party?
326
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,034
Two friends?
327
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,689
I'm his father.
328
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,996
So you're spending
your bachelor party
329
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:13,521
with your dad in a library.
330
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,479
Yeah, you're not boring.
331
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:19,875
Oh, my God, I'm...
332
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,964
I'm boring.
333
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:26,316
It's okay. You know,
you have other good qualities.
334
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,884
Thank you, Spence.
335
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,669
[chuckles]
That's why I'm your best man.
336
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:34,934
Well, that's it.
I'm done being boring.
337
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,110
Sorry, guys.
The bachelor party's over.
338
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,068
Whoa, what are you
talking about?Ben was right.
339
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:41,549
It's my fault Clem's having
this lame-ass dinner party.
340
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,116
So I'm-a go home,
rescue her,
341
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:45,553
and then we're gonna go out
and get crazy.
342
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:48,121
'Cause my girl deserves
to have fun.
343
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,861
Whoo!
344
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:54,997
I never want this night to end!
345
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,999
[all cheering]
346
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,313
Nick?
347
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,488
What are you doing here?
348
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,055
Why aren't you
at your bachelor party?
349
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,405
I left because I realized
I was dragging you down.
350
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,102
If it wasn't for me,
you'd be having
351
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,495
some liquor-drenched blowout
352
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,279
instead of some boring
dinner party with my mom.
353
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,499
Don't worry about your mom.
354
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:21,197
Your mom is
enjoying herself plenty.
355
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,156
Well, to hell with
these lame-ass parties.
356
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,722
Okay, get your coat.
I'm taking you out
357
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,028
for a night we
will never forget.
358
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:29,771
No, no, no. A night we
will never remember!
359
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:32,687
Yeah, I don't think
360
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:35,037
we're gonna
have to go out for that.
361
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,039
♪
362
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:41,304
Oh, no. You drink water
on your own time, cowboy.
363
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,176
Come on!
364
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:46,222
Dinner party, huh?
365
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,964
I see you've moved
on to dessert.
366
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,229
I didn't do this
because you drag me down,
367
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,404
because you don't.
368
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,754
I did this because...
369
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:59,061
I didn't want to feel
like a mom.
370
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:02,760
You know who else doesn't
feel like a mom? My mom.
371
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,806
Shake it, baby, shake it.
372
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,855
I am so happy
I get to marry you.
373
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,988
Please tell me
that we're gonna party like this
374
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,251
every night
for the rest of our lives.
375
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,775
Oh, absolutely. Except
for the naked man.
376
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,693
Absolutely.
377
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,525
This is an intense game
of charades.
378
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:30,527
I like it.
379
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:36,098
Oh, my God. Mr. Rudner?!
380
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,100
Shannon?
381
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,102
Wait, you two
know each other?
382
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:43,279
Yeah. Dude,
that's my English teacher.
383
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,110
Pants. Pants. Where's my pants?
384
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,156
No, no, no.
385
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,593
I think you mean,
"Where aremy pants?"
386
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:58,816
I assume that "D" on my paper
will be turned into a "C"?
387
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,082
I'll take your "D,"
Mr. Rudner.
388
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,746
Hey, Evan.
389
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,619
Where's Donkey Kong?
390
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,534
You mean Beth.[chuckles]
391
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,492
I broke up with her.
392
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,929
You did? Why?
393
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,758
Because... I like you.
394
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:31,501
And last night it seemed
that maybe you liked me, too.
395
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,677
Well, I don't.
396
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,508
Maybe last night I did
when you were with Beth,
397
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:41,163
but now that I know
you're not...
398
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,860
I don't know.
399
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,862
I think those feelings
went away.
400
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,386
So what are you saying?
401
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:49,171
The only way you're into me
is if I'm into someone else?
402
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:52,174
[scoffs] Nah. No, dude,
I'm not that shallow.
403
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,309
Or am I?
404
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:59,050
Oh, my God,
I think I am.
405
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:02,184
Man, that's dark.
406
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,533
You know what?
407
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:06,145
I'm gonna see i-if Beth
will get back with me
408
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,756
so that you and I
have a shot.
409
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,019
Hey, good luck
with that, kid.
410
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:15,719
[sighs] Why did we party
until 6:00 in the morning?
411
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,244
[sighs]
Because your mom dared us to
412
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,855
at 5:00 in the morning.
413
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,205
I think I got partying out
of my system.
414
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:27,166
I know. I heard it
leaving your system.
415
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:30,647
Hey, kids. Good morning.
416
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:35,130
What a beautiful day
for a walk.
417
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,350
How are you not hungover?
418
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,047
[scoffs]
Hangovers are for amateurs.
419
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,005
And she's a professional.Mm-hmm.
420
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,617
Cowboy.
421
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,619
Ms. Fantastic.
422
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:52,234
Let's walk, baby.
423
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,149
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
424
00:19:57,674 --> 00:20:00,677
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
425
00:20:00,727 --> 00:20:05,277
Repair and Synchronization by
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